I am – Hercules!!

Yes, we know. Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story has been on the Internet’s illegal bittorrents for eons now, but I think this reviewer just discovered it. For those of you kids who don’t want to risk the MPAA putting your parents in the poorhouse, it goes on sale legally Sept. 27.

I’m begging with this! Enough with the “Stewie” reviews! I’m pretty sure every “Family Guy” fan downloaded this thing in April. This fellow says it’s “kinda not bad. But not great. Definitely not great.”

Hey Herc, Hey Harry, Hey Quint...

Hi bobby Jo...

Ok, enough of that.

Names Slumley. I did a review on the site a couple of years ago for Undisputed with Wesley Snipes and Ving Rhames.

A close friend of mine made available to me the Family Guy movie that's going to be for sale on DVD soon. Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story.

I'm a big fan of family guy, I really am. I think the shows since they have come back have just been funny as hell. Sadly, The movie isn't.

There's a joke at the beginning of the movie referring to buying it for $3.99 at car washes a couple of months after it's released and I think that's going to be sadly prophetic. The movie is ridiculously funny in the beginning, focusing on all the major characters arriving for the premiere of the movie. Lois is drunk as all hell and I was howling at several different parts.

Then... not much really happens.

SPOILERS. SERIOUSLY.

The movie then turns into a regular episode of family guy, albeit an hour and fifteen minute long version of one with the same number of jokes. The family decides that Stewie Griffin needs to learn to swim. He attempts to murder one of his classmates and the murder backfires and Sewie goes to hell for a minute in one of the few funny scenes in the movie. Stewie is affected by his trip to hell and tries to be good, but he's Stewie so he can't be good. Once he realizes that he tries to supress his evil with alcohol and ends up with hangover and a damn funny tattoo.

He see's a man in San Francisco on television that might be his father and goes on a trip with Brian and Quagmire to find him, but it turns out that the man IS Stewie, just from the future. Stewie tags along with future Stewie to see his future and is appalled by how pathetic his future life is. He tries to fix his future life and in classic family guy fashion makes it worse.

Later, Stewie travels through time again to the beginning of the movie and stops himself from screwing up the murder. Then he disintegrates himself. Whoops... didn't see that coming.

Are there parts that made me laugh? Hell yes. Was it better than half the movies released this summer? Hell yes again, but this year is about the worst for movies that I can ever remember so that's not saying much. There were way too many times when I was sitting there thinking, jesus, how long is this? Maybe this formula doesn't work for movies. It's way too fractured for an hour and a half. The Family guy style of humour is all over the place on the show and that works in the show, but it doesn't seem to work here.

I'm dissapointed. I really expected them to push the envelope and aside from a few 'Fucks' here and there, no envelopes were pushed in the making of this movie. Dammit McFarlane! What the hell is wrong with you? Where was full frontal Lois? I WANT FULL FRONTAL LOIS!!!!

Um...

Ahem. Sorry. I don't know where that came from.

So.... yeah. Family Guy Movie. Coming to a store near you real soon. Kinda not bad. But not great. Definitely not great. And no full frontal Lois.

Slumley

P.S. - This makes me very trepiditious about the supposed Simpsons Movie too.

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