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AICN COMICS REVIEWS! DRACULA VS KING ARTHUR! TEEN TITANS! Q & @ WITH THE GIFT'S RAVEN GREGORY! AND MUCH MORE!!!

#15 8/24/05 #4

The Pull List
(Click title to go directly to the review)

BATMAN #644
JACK CROSS #1
WOLVERINE #31
OMAC PROJECT #5
DRACULA VS KING ARTHUR #2
ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN # 643
TEEN TITANS #27
Q & @ with Raven Gregory/THE GIFT #13 review
CHEAP SHOTS!

BATMAN #644

Bill Willingham: Writer
Giuseppe Camuncoli: Artist
DC Comics: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Calling The Hague



Warning: the following review contains harsh language, massive spoilers, and descriptions of immoral acts. Parental discretion is advised.

Can a book be judged by its conclusion alone? This book starts with some great action between Batman, Joker and Black Mask, and remains quite enjoyable throughout, until we reach the conclusion. It is in these final few pages that we learn just who killed The Spoiler back in the pages of “War Games.”

Out of all the characters that make up Batman’s support system, Leslie Thompkins is one of the first. She is the one who comforted Bruce Wayne the night his parents died. She has been a source of support and strength for Batman literally all his life. She has served as a voice of support, and a voice of criticism for Bruce and his mission. She is a woman who believes with all her soul in the sanctity and preservation of life.

To teach Batman and his team a lesson about the dangers of what they do, she withheld medical treatment from 16-year-old Stephanie Brown. Dr. Leslie Thompkins killed The Spoiler.

That final scene has Dr. Thompkins explaining all this to Batman, who informs her that she is no longer welcome in his city. That’s right: the penalty for murder is deportation.

I have been reading comics for over twenty years. I have read books that moved me emotionally, books that have entertained me with every reread, books that have been masterpieces. I have read books that I hated, books that went in the wrong direction, books that just don’t work. This is the first superhero comic I have read that is totally without merit. That is ethically void. That is morally repugnant.

Does this idea make any sort of sense? Does a woman who believes in saving lives more than anything else killing a girl to make a point make sense? Does killing one of Batman’s partners to force him to reexamine his choices make sense? Dr. Thompkins has known Batman for years--perhaps she was remembering how he became more introspective and risk aware after Jason Todd “died.” Oh, wait, she doesn’t, because that death drove Batman to become a brutal, sadistic warrior with a borderline mental psychosis!

What was DC thinking? WERE they thinking? That an editor okayed this story development is reprehensible. That DC published it is sickening. What was the point of this development? If it was to entertain, it fails miserably. If it was to inform the characters, how can it when they are totally misunderstood? If it was to be edgy and controversial just for the hell of it, then congratulations DC, that’s all you’ve done. Nice job, you’re well on your way to becoming the FOX Network of comic book publishing.

Do not buy this book. Do not read this book. Do not touch this book. If an editorial assistant from Wizard were to put a gun to your head and demand that you read it, take the bullet.

I’m done with Batman. As long as the current editorial staff is in place, I will not be buying any Batman books. If not for the company’s exclusive contract with Geoff Johns (is he the only man at that company who has his superhero characters actually act like heroes?) I would be boycotting their superhero line in totality. I’ve had enough.


Note: if you have already purchased a copy of BATMAN #644, here is the proper disposal method. Returning it to your local comic shop is not recommended, because then some other poor sucker will buy it. Burning is not recommended, because of the potential of toxic fumes. Birdcage lining is not recommended, because of the implied insult to the guano industry. No, I must recommend that you have the book slabbed. Sealed in lexan, the book will be safe from prying eyes. Besides, it’s about time CGC was good for something.


JACK CROSS #1

Writer: Warren Ellis
Penciler: Gary Erskine
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee



Ok, first things first, if you want to pull in some more readers for this book, you gotta do something about that title. That giant JACK CROSS with a simple swirl design running through it just screams "generic" and is very unexciting. And two, I don't know about you, but I think I've gotten to the point where random little exclamated statements on book covers make me roll my eyes uncontrollably. "Now Terror has something to Fear!" Stallone film groan-inducing if you ask me. But I digress.

What we do have here is a genuinely intriguing action title from Warren Ellis, a man who has built his reputation on books like this, and the very capable Gary Erskine. In the vein of the television show 24, we have a here a book with your typical (and yet not-so typical) "Get results anyway I can" male lead, with the usual hot topics this kind of stuff entails: terrorism, government conspiracies and yadda yadda yadda. As far as the initial plot goes it's a nice digression away from the usual "terrorists are planning something and only one man can stop them!" and we get a security threat of a different sort, our own government agencies. Now, obviously, moles in the CIA or moles in the FBI are about a dime a dozen in these stories, but a mole from the CIA in the FBI or a fellow domestic security agency is enough of a different spin to get my conspiracy-theory juices flowing and does well as a set up. But the main focus of this first issue is to, like it should, let us in on just who Jack Cross is.

A comparison of this Jack to the main character Jack Bower of the aforementioned 24 TV show is definitely a warranted one. Both are very cool and calm customers, but will use extreme force when necessary and even come off as crazed when they do so, and they will both do exactly what is necessary to get the job done. What makes our Mr. Cross here different is that he hates his job. He's a political activist living "off the grid" so to speak. He's even called a hippie by the female friend that comes to enlist his services. He abhors violence, but understands he's good at it and that it is oft necessary to get results. To show us this dichotomy, what we're treated to for the second half of the book is one of the most brutal interrogation scenes I've seen in comics or TV as Jack tries to get a captured government plant to talk, and then we're shown a somber Jack as he sits in the corner of a vacant room, obviously shaken by what he has just done. A nice little digression from the norm in my opinion.

And as for art chores I have to say Erskine's work comes out as pretty good for the tone of the book. I've always found his work to be solid, but marred by one of the things a lot of artists are guilty of, and that's lack of diversity in body types and facial features. But, unlike a lot of those other artists, Erskine brings a great talent for facial expressions, which is key considering the nature of the main character. In the last couple pages where we see the tail end of the interrogation scene and then we see Jack's quiet moment afterwards, we see a whole collage of emotions running through all the characters present, and it's easy to see that's how Erskine got the job on this book (Well, that and he works with Ellis a lot. I'm just trying to give the man some props ok? =).

And there you have it. I think the book is just different enough to make me come back for more. It is definitely pure Ellis as far as plot and dialogue goes, though this doesn't have any dramatic or sadistic one-liners and quotables like most his books do. This hasn't hooked me as much as some of Warren's latest batch of projects have, like DESOLATION JONES, but I can see potential. If you're a fan of shows like 24 and whatnot, and aren't yet burnt out on them, I say give this a shot. If you've had your fill on books dealing with stuff like government agents and terrorism then it's probably best to steer clear, or maybe just sample this first issue to see if you find it different enough to change your mind on how those subjects can be handled in a book. But please, god, someone change that logo.


WOLVERINE #31

Writer: Mark Millar
Pencils: John Romita Jr.
Inks: Klaus Janson
Publisher: Marvel
Reviewer: Ambush Bug



I have to admit, the last few WOLVERINE arcs from the team of Mark Millar and JRJR were one hell of a thrill ride. Wolverine has always been a tortured hero--one who struggles for nobility and heroism, aspects that are often not in his animalistic nature. The last few arcs have highlighted this inner conflict by having HYDRA, led by the villainous Gorgon and Madame Hydra, mind control Wolvie into their perfect killing machine. This long road to redemption and humanity leads to issue # 31 which features a knock-down, drag-out fight between Gorgon and Wolvie. Last issue, Wolverine stands skewered by a sword to a wall by his throat. The Gorgon teleports to Nick Fury’s hospital room to murder him, and Elektra is the only one left to stop him.

This issue starts out with Wolverine still pinned and Elektra fallen, leaving Nick Fury helpless against the seemingly unstoppable Gorgon. The action that follows is just about as brutal and intense as one could get in a mainstream superhero book. Wolverine slashes away at the Gorgon for panels and the Gorgon returns it in spades. This is one hell of a finale action sequence and Millar really delivers. Millar cleverly switches between inner monologue, with Wolverine still struggling with the fact that he was manipulated to kill scores of people by the Gorgon and HYDRA, and macho dialog between the two warriors. All the while, Millar adds moments of cool like Nick Fury’s bravado-laden barbs as he lies helpless on his hospital bed. This is a cleverly paced and structured climax which takes full advantage of the big screen-feel these last few WOLVIERINE arcs have exhibited.

But all in all, this is an issue where two guys are beating the snot out of each other. So without the right artist, this could be a real snoozer. Fortunately, John Romita Jr. is the right artist. I have to admit that I felt as if he was phoning it in for the last few issues, being pretty chinsy with details such as costume designs and the like. The splash page from a few issues back featuring a million Hydra-mind-manipulated heroes and villains attacking the SHIELD Helicarrier came off as sloppy and sketchy. There’s none of that laziness in this current issue, though. You can tell this is the issue JRJR was waiting to get his hands on. Panel placement, the use of splashes, the conveyance of action from panel to panel: all spectacular.

On a side note, though, I would love to see a JRJR book done in the painterly style that decorates the front covers of the last few issues. Those images show depth and beauty that I’ve never seen in JRJR art. I’m sure whatever process it is takes longer to do, but the wait would be worth it to see an entire book in this painterly style.

Millar finishes this issue on a pretty somber note. Wolverine is missing and cutting a path back to the grave of the child whose death started this whole fiasco. Narrated by Nick Fury as he reports in to Kitty Pryde, these few last panels pull the camera back from the carnage that has occurred over the last few issues, leaving Wolverine more tormented and alone than before. Of course, this conflicts with the fact that Wolverine is now rubbing spandex with the NEW AVENGERS in that series, as well as a fully operational member of the X-Men, but what’s continuity and bad editorial decisions have to do with a truly great story arc which focused on the character of Wolverine and got it right?


OMAC PROJECT #5

Writer: Greg Rucka
Art: Jesus Saiz
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Prof. Challenger



Uh-oh.

SPOILER ALERT!

If you care what happens in this issue and you haven't read it yet, then skip on to the next review.

It's the penultimate issue of this mini-series and all hell has broken loose - specifically 1,373,462 freakin' OMACs with ANNHILATION PROTOCOL triggered.

Uh-oh.

Sasha's some kind of weird OMAC/Human hybrid thingee.

Uh-oh.

Somehow Brother Eye made lightning that functions like the magic lightning of Shazam and turned Mary Marvel back to Mary Batson.

Uh-oh.

And what? Has every writer out there forgotten that it's supposed to be "Magic" lightning? Rocket Red's dead and took three OMAC's with him.

Uh-oh. And big waste. Really, I mean, what good did it do to have Rocket Red sacrifice himself to take out 3 OMACs when there's basically an endless supply of them? Better that he had stayed alive to fight more of them. I'm sure Rocky's wife and children appreciate his pointless sacrifice there, Mr. Rucka.

Fire's all busted up and probably dead or close to it.

Uh-oh.

Tim Drake better be quick and smart next issue or last month's issue of ROBIN may have been the last one.

Uh-oh.

I thought this mini-series had a great first issue. It has progressively gotten worse. Based on this issue full of pointless and mindless death and destruction, I can't recommend it. I think the "concept" of the OMACs in modern day is an excellent one and I expect it to work well within the framework of the INFINITE CRISIS. On its own though, the series has tanked itself.


DRACULA VS KING ARTHUR #2

Writer: Christian Beranek
Penciler: Chris Moreno
Publisher: Silent Devil
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee



When I saw the first issue of book solicited I knew I had to have it. Come on, two of the coolest mythological/folkloric characters ever dueling it out? The Lord of the Vampires versus the wielder of the legendary sword Excalibur? Sold! But also, like anyone else rightfully would, as soon as I thought about it for a second that "Vs" immediately gave me premonitions of such cinematic greats "Freddy vs. Jason" and "Alien vs. Predator", two movies that made the sci-fi geek in me ecstatic, but almost made my eyes bleed while actually viewing them. And then when I thought about the kind of circumstances that could used to bring these two characters together, well, my enthusiasm waned a bit. Thankfully though, the first issue not only turned out to be a very creative foray into getting these two together, but was very well researched on the history of their respective time periods, and was very good at analyzing the characters' traits given what kind of stories have been told about them over the years. What could have been just a horrible book about some vampires and some random gore and blah blah blah turned out to be a pleasant surprise and one of the more enjoyable new books I've picked up this year. And thankfully, the follow up issue keeps good pace with the first.

The last issue ended with Arthur and the majority of his knights questing out on a hunt for the Holy Grail, rumored to have been lost by Joseph of Arimethea in England on his travels. While the knights are out searching for this powerful artifact, Lord Dracula's power base and grip on the land start spreading, and he uses the opportunity presented by Arthur's journey to make a bid at kidnapping his lovely Queen, Guinevere. Lots of great hack and slash action featuring Lancelot ensues, and this issue gives us some full on vampire hoopla with hypnotic glances, shape changing, and so on. The ending is a little much though, as the writer might be taking too much liberty with just how devoted Lancelot is with Lady Guinevere, but the potential it develops for confrontation and action next issue makes it ok in my mind. Add to all that some still very solid and appropriately dark and moody pencils and you've got another fun issue, even if it is a bit more of a “guilty pleasure” fun.


ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN # 643

Written by: Greg Rucka
Penciled by: Karl Kerschl, Carlos D’Anda and Rags Morales
Inked by: Cam Smith, Carlos D’Anda and Wayne Faucher (It took five people to draw this book?)
Reviewed by: superhero



Superman is sad.

See, Maxwell Lord has been making Superman see very bad things. Maxwell Lord has been controlling Superman and making him go apeshit crazy on his friends. Superman is seeing images of his beloved Lois being killed by his most dangerous foe Doomsday. This, in turn, has driven Superman over the edge and in his mind’s eye he loses sight of everything else except his desire to kill Doomsday which erupts in an all out pitched battle that causes Superman to endanger and even harm innocent civilians…

Um, wait, what was that last part again?

Ok, let’s forget that all this book is just a rehash of the past several issues of SUPERMAN, WONDER WOMAN, and THE OMAC PROJECT all mixed into one issue. Let’s try and forget that we just bought a series of comics only to buy this one and have Greg Rucka tell me the whole freaking story all over again. Let’s just try and forget that and focus on the fact that this story features Superman behaving in the most uncharacteristic way possible.

See, in this issue Superman comes to terms with the fact that everything he’s been seeing for the past, what, several days is an illusion. That he hasn’t been fighting Doomsday. That Lois isn’t dead. That he hasn’t leveled Metropolis in a Hulk-like rage. That, in effect, it was all in his mind and none of it was real. That the only reason he was going through it all was because of Maxwell Lord and one of his best friends, Wonder Woman, just saved him from the hell of seeing his friends and family murdered over and over again. Not to mention she kept him from killing his own friends in reality while under Lord’s control.

And what does Superman think when he snaps out of it?

“Gasp” Diana KILLED somebody!

What the…?

THAT’S what Superman’s worried about? That Diana killed a dangerous foe in order to save him and possibly everyone on the planet from a power crazed Superman???? He’s more worried about the fact that WW killed a foe and not the fact that just a couple of minutes ago he was ready to split the Earth in two if Max Lord asked him to?

Let me ask you this…when did Superman become such a pansy?

I mean why is Superman acting like such a rube?

I mean we’re talking about SUPERMAN here.

This is a guy who’s been all across the galaxy. This is a guy who’s fought in intergalactic battles that would make Sgt. Rock crap himself. This is a man who cheats death and saves lives on a daily basis. Hell, this is a guy who’s seen an entire universe wiped out by renegade Kryptonians and made the hard choice to execute them by his own hand. He’s also made the choice to give Batman kryptonite so that if he ever were to go renegade someone would have the means to take him out. Superman’s been around the block. He knows about death. He fights to protect life but he knows that sometimes the tough decisions have to be made. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t want to be the one to have to do it. But he also can accept that sometimes there are no other options. So why in the hell is he so freaked out when Wonder Woman kills someone in a last ditch effort to save the planet from a Superman who just doesn’t know how to play nice anymore?

Superman’s not naïve so why is Rucka portraying him as such? Ok, I get that Superman was raised on a farm by caring parents. I get that Superman’s family wasn’t gunned down in front of him therefore he’s not as tragically cool as Batman. I get that he stands for mom, dad and apple pie. I get it…but that doesn’t mean he has to be written like some hick that just stepped off the bus.

As I said before, Superman’s been around. Not to mention that he’s been working as a reporter in one of the largest cities in the world for years. Anyone who’s lived in or moved to a large city can tell you that you grow up pretty quickly no matter where you’re from so why is Superman being consistently written as if he’s never dealt with anything harsher than his ice cream cone falling to the pavement when he was eight years old?

I’ve been enjoying most if this INFINITE CRISIS thing from the beginning but this issue of ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN marks another situation where a main character is acting completely out of character or at least being an all-out moron. It’s an issue like this that almost makes me yearn for the days of the Curt Swan pre-Crisis pompous as hell Superman. At least he had some backbone. Superman, as written in this issue, is just written as a whiny little wuss. Not only that but a contradictory little wuss. In the nightmare world Lord created for him he kills Doomsday in a rage but when he snaps out of it he’s stunned that Diana killed to save him? Give me a break. Next thing you know Superman’ll be doing a full on, “My daughter, my sister, my daughter, my sister…” ala Faye Dunaway in CHINATOWN. The way things are being handled in the DCU right now I really wouldn’t be surprised.

If Supes keeps acting like he does in this book they’re going to have to change what the “S” on his chest means from Superman to Sissyman. Vulnerability’s one thing but I’ll take my Superman with a bit of spine and a dose of nobility thank you very much. If I want a crybaby I’ll go pick up an old issue of SPIDER-MAN and save myself the trouble of reading this barely recognizable version of Superman


TEEN TITANS #27

Writer: Gail Simone
Artist: Rob Liefeld
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug



Rob Liefeld has been a joke in the comic book industry for waaaay too long now. It’s seen as cool to rip on the guy and I have to admit he’s done a lot to deserve the ribbing. But the thing is, despite all of the ethical blunders this guy has made, despite the fact that everyone stifles a guffaw when his name is mentioned, it wasn’t long ago that everyone was praising this guy as if he were the second coming of the Fonz. That’s right, the same people lining up to praise such current idols o’ millions as Grant Morrison, Mark Millar, and Brian Michael Bendis not too long ago were French-kissing the bicycle seat of Rob Liefeld (It’s interesting to note the movement from the 90’s artist-praise to writer-idolation of today. What’s next? Bowing to the alter of the letter in the two-thousand teens?). I’ll bet a lot of people have never even picked up a Liefeld comic. Fortunately, DC decided to team him with one of their more talented writers and give the guy a shot at the mainstream once again.

TEEN TITANS #27 is the first of a two part story involving Hawk & Dove taking place on the first Father’s Day after Robin lost his father in the events of IDENTITY CRISIS. The team is coming together to support their friend when he needs them the most. Gail Simone writes some heartfelt lines shared between Robin and the rest of his team. The talk between Cyborg and Robin is especially effective and acts out with a tenderness that is not often seen in comics. Over the span of the twenty-seven issues of this TEEN TITANS series, this group has become very close and that is conveyed confidently and convincingly through the words on the page.

But then this is a comic book and there are pictures that go along with these words…

With my “goin’ against the grain” mentality, I wanted to come into this review and praise Rob Liefeld for a job well done. I wanted to see this issue as a comeback for the guy. I was actually rooting for this underdog to succeed. That Liefeld would take this issue as an opportunity to shut the fanboys up and prove that he has evolved as an artist since most of us last saw him in the 3rd or 4th (I lost count) #1 issue of YOUNGBLOOD.

Sadly, that’s not the case.

I never had a problem with the big waffle guns, or the shoulders two times as big as the head, or the tiny ankles, or all of the pockets and packets decorating every inch of Liefeld’s characters. I saw this as one artist’s particular style. Much like McFarlane’s gigantic browlines or Bart Sears’ bubble muscles or Mignola’s minimalism. I can forgive that stuff because all of those tiny nuances are what makes Liefeld’s art different from the rest of the herd.

What I can’t forgive is sloppiness, laziness, and the complete disregard for conveying action from panel to panel in preference to making a cool looking series of pin up shots. And that’s what you get with this issue. In almost every panel of this book, the characters are looking directly at the reader. This is a paranoid person’s worst nightmare and one suffering from this malady would probably need some rubber room time after reading this book. Every character is posed for action and staring right into the camera. Even when the team (in full costume, mind you) go for a peaceful night of bowling, every muscle is flexed and ready to pounce into battle.

Basically, Simone is faced with the losing battle of linking together panel after panel of action pose shots. She does her damndest to do so, but this issue comes off as something one would find lining a junior high Trapper Keeper and not a professional comic book. Liefeld has not evolved as the artist I was hoping he would become. Characters pop from one location to the next without even the hint of movement in the panel and the over-acting poses Liefeld’s camera-aware characters take make the book a laughable mess.

All artists evolve with practice and dedication. Be they writers or artists or musicians. This evolution can have varying results. Check out Mike Deodato’s early Image-like work compared to the stellar images he produces today. Had Liefeld come onto the scene with this issue and slowed any kind of evolution from the stuff he churned out in the early nineties, I’d give him some kind of props. But that’s just not the case here. And there’s nothing more uninteresting than stagnation and that’s what I got from this issue.


THE GIFT #13

Raven Gregory: Writer
Richard Bonk: Artist
Image Comics: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Getting even



Okay, who here was bullied in school? I bet quite a few of you were, especially you cog smooches in the back. Yeah, YOU! Me, I got all the rough treatment from the “cool” kids. I was beaten up, mocked, ostracized, spit upon … I was even maced once. But enough about the Eighth Grade.

The latest installment of THE GIFT is all about that sort of behavior, as well as being an up front representation of the secret fantasies of every kid who was tormented by some arrogant jackass. The story revolves around a young victim of a cadre of bullies, who soon become victims themselves when The Ancient One gives this child the power to strike back. And boy does he strike back. There’s some vicious, nasty stuff that goes down here, stuff that even managed to creep me out quite a bit. And yet, the book on the whole manages to be quite satisfying in its brutality.

Then there’s the final image, which makes for an impressive and controversial visual. It had me wondering just what was going through Raven Gregory’s mind when he wrote that bit.

So I went ahead and gave him a ring to ask…

Vroom Socko: You DO know you're going to get hate mail, right?

Raven Gregory: You DO know I'm unlisted. Heh. If I do get hate mail I'll just assume I did something right.

What was your motive for the final image of THE GIFT #13? Are you making a political statement, is this controversy for its own sake, or something else?

To me telling a story just to tell a story isn't good enough. If your story isn't trying to say something, if there is not a deeper meaning behind the story, I think it just falls flat and placid. I'm assuming (the scene) it will mean different things to different people. But when I think of high school and life in general, the older you get and the more of life you experience, the world tends to strangle all the innocence and nativity (sic) out of you. It tends to beat you down turning you into something you weren't meant to be. I like the underlining symbolism of the image. It’s not meant to be shock value, it just is. It is a controversial image but I like to think it's saying much more than that. What that is I'll leave to the readers to decide.

This story reads like the sort of fiction that bullied teens the world over write in their journals. Was this story based on your own experiences? How much of the creation of this book was a cathartic experience for you?

This is a story I have been wanting to tell my whole life. It's something I dealt with throughout my school years. I know first hand how it feels to be picked on, humiliated, and victimized for no other reason than being overweight or black or tall or whatever excuse a bully needs to justify their actions. I know how it feels to have that shit eat away at you day after day after day and how after a while there just doesn't seem to be another answer except to lash out at the world around us...because you feel so helpless and incapable of doing anything to make the shit stop. So this is about as personal as it gets, but I try to do that with all my stories. Each one is a little piece of me. This is just a much larger piece than usually.

Has THE GIFT lived up to your expectations, both in content and reader response?

It's everything I wanted and more. The fans really enjoy it and they go out and tell everyone they can about the book. It just doesn't get that much better than that. And being able to tell a story EXACTLY how I wanted to and being able to not have to hold anything back has just been great.

This summer’s convention season was your first as a part of Image. How has the experience been so far?

So far it has been amazing. Everyone has been really great to us. I came to the San Diego con and got a big surprise from the guys at Image. They printed up banner posters of the GIFT #13. They really believe it's gonna live up to the hype and it's nice to have that kind of support.

We'll be getting the origin of The Ancient One in the next issue. What's coming after that, both for you and THE GIFT?

We have a new creative team jumping aboard starting with issue 14. Josh Medors (IN THE BLOOD) will be handling pencils and is just doing an amazing job. We'll also see all the characters from the first 11 issues return in issues 15-17 and see where all this has been building to since the very beginning of the series.

I also have quite a few big side projects coming up as well as some more creator owned projects. THE WAKING will be out sometime next year and is a zombie tale that is a cross between CSI and “Dawn of the Dead”. I also have LIKE A MACHINE, a sci-fi story with artist Ed Sharam coming out later this year, and DEAD @17 Rough Cut Vol. 3 with a short story that leads into the new ongoing series with art by superstar Josh Howard. I'm really excited about the Dead@17 story since I'm one of the first writers Josh has ever worked with. It was a huge honor to work with someone as talented as him. I also have The TIDE coming out through Silent Devil Productions next year with artist Taki Soma, and few other things brewing in the pot as well. It's gonna be a busy year.


DAY OF VENGEANCE #5

Well, crap. I was hoping the Shadow Pact would've already killed that crazy Spectre. No such luck. I really have enjoyed this little mini-series, but I'm not so keen on the idea of the Shadow Pact becoming an ongoing series. Personally, I think the characters would work better as a series of minis and/or one-shots. But, as with ABC and WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE, the Big 2 comics companies are really good at taking good ideas and over saturating the market and basically killing any long-lasting enthusiasm. As to this issue specifically, I'm disturbed by the fact that Capt. Marvel, who should look more like a bulked up Patrick Warburton instead alternates between looking like Humphrey Bogart or that Korean guy from LOST throughout this whole thing. Detective Chimp once again rules the day. Once again I call for someone to kill Ragman, the most annoying character I've read in a long time. This Black Alice girl gets the chance to suck the Spectre's supernatural power away from him so she and the Shadow Pact can beat the crap out of him. Problem is, Spectre's got no physical form. How do you beat the crap out of him? Woops. Question: The Spectre basically has the power of God - absolute power. Right? How come Black Alice wasn't instantly corrupted by such an unimaginable amount of supernatural power? Didn't jibe with me there. Otherwise, another good issue. Looking forward to the finale. - Prof.

BANANA SUNDAY #2 (of 4)

If there is anything more adorable than Go-Go the Gorilla chasing butterflies, then I don't want to know about it. The second installment of this series moves the story forward quite nicely, and is exceptionally well written. It's also quite hilarious to boot. But the important thing here is that Colleen Coover is drawing some cute, funny monkeys doing cute, funny stuff. The look on Go-Go's face as he solemnly intones "today this monkey will not be farting" is absolutely priceless. - Vroom

FANTASTIC FOUR #530

I’ve been on board with this JMS arc, supporting it even through the rough spots (like the issue of talkity-talk that coincided with the release of the movie), but as soon as the giant alien showed up in this issue, this story lost me. I don’t know if it’s the fact that it involves yet another alien invasion or the fact that the alien fugitive mentions that he knows “the ultimate, final truth” (so what, once we know that, there are no more questions?). Or maybe it’s the fact that an alien ship hovers over Manhattan and the Four act as if that’s never happened before. Or maybe it is the lingering feeling that JMS is once again rewriting Marvel history as he did with the Norman Osborne/Gwen Stacy affair over in AMAZING SPIDER-MAN in that the cosmic rays that gave the Richards family their fantastic powers were merely a means of communication from an alien race. Add all of these up and the cool moments in between don’t really save this issue for me. I’ll be sticking around to see how this first arc pans out, but right now I’m not impressed by the guy who blew my socks off with MIDNIGHT NATION and SUPREME POWER. - Bug

LEGION OF SUPERHEROES #9

Okay. Sue me. I like this book. I didn't want to like it. I wasn't sure I liked it for a good 4 or 5 issues. Here it is issue 9 and I realize it's one of a few monthlies where I count the weeks til the next issue. I'm loving the modern take on familiar old-school clichés. For my book, Mark Waid's LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES has the groundwork and potential to one day battle Geoff Johns' JSA in its ability to rework familiar heroes and concepts but move them forward respectably in storylines and characterization. In this latest reboot, it's been chock full of anger and tension between Cosmic Boy and Braniac 5 as they struggle over who should be leading the group. Clearly Braniac 5 is the logical leader. Here's the problem: Cos has that indefinable charisma that elevates him as a leader whether he desires it or not. Brainy has to work at it. As smart as he is, he's really not a natural leader - he's just a boss. There's a difference and this issue highlights those differences. Invisible Kid is the reader. He's the eyes through which the reader becomes a part of the Legion. And in this issue he steps up to do what the reader wants to happen. Mark Waid's writing gets better each issue. The 3-page epilogue addressing continuity concerns longtime LEGION readers may have was alone worth the price of the comic. The issue has a guest-artist I'd never seen before, Georges Jeanty, and I didn't even mind. Solid work supported by Thibert inks. This might even be a good jumping on point for new readers if any of you have been on the fence about this series. - Prof.

Talkback Question of the Week!?!??!

OK, let’s keep it simple. Out of all of the comic book characters out there today, who is your absolute favorite and why? Who’s your least favorite?

Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 31, 2005, 3:18 p.m. CST

    first damn it

    by steveinbaltimore

    always wanted to do that

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Wow an interview!

    by Shigeru

    Cool beans. Oh and sure i thought RL was sweet in 5th grade. I also thought the ninja turtles rap cassette was the balls. (that's a good thing)

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 3:37 p.m. CST

    t. u. r. t. l. e.

    by Shigeru

    POWER. Good thing I didn't bring that up the one time I met Peter Laird.

  • Honestly, I do NOT get the hype about Greg Rucka. Has he ever written anything decent apart from QUEEN & COUNTRY? Okay, there was GOTHAM CENTRAL, but I chalk that more up to Ed Brubaker than Rucka...

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 3:46 p.m. CST

    WAAAH!

    by AlgertMopper

    WAH! A shitty supporting character that hasn't been used decently in years gets written out of character. Cry me a fucking river you pussy.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 3:55 p.m. CST

    AlgertMopper

    by vroom socko

    I'd hardly call Superman a SUPPORTING character.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 4:03 p.m. CST

    WHAT?

    by AlgertMopper

    I was talking about Batman.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 4:03 p.m. CST

    well

    by AlgertMopper

    Well, the Dr.Chick in Batman is waht I meant

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Favorite comic book character...

    by mullymt

    Aunt May...aww...

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Jesus, Vroom! You got spat upon AND maced?!

    by El Vale

    Were you king nerd or something? And as for the question of the week...that's a difficult one. I'm gonna have to go with Yorick Brown. Thing about 'Rick is, sometimes he's such a stupid idiot! It's totally believable, he has as much likeable characteristics as dislikeable ones, and reading Safeword proved there's a whole lot to him left to explore as he grows up. Plus he's a total geek and he has a Preacher zippo. There are also characters that i miss like hell, like Bru's Selina Kyle and Herr Starr. Sniff

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Leslie Tompkins

    by holidill

    Yes, this was a crappy way to write this character out of the batman series. It was totally out of character and I am disappointed in Bill Willingham. I'm not dropping Batman because of that, but with this story and the crap that is Gotham Knights, Batman is really not looking good lately. Here's hoping something happens in the one year later to make it more interesting.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 4:34 p.m. CST

    I Have 3 Characters Who Tie As My Favorite. And I Don't Thi

    by Buzz Maverik

    Dr. Strange, the Hulk, and the Black Widow. There's your perfect DEFENDERS line up. Three offbeat heroes, who often aren't considered heroes by the unimaginative (and if they Unimaginative are against 'em, I'm for 'em)who are usually handled quite well. My least favorite is a character I like well enough when someone else handles him, but I would personally like to hold down Frank Miller's Batman while the Rogues Gallery did whatever they wanted to him.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Favorite Character - Wally West

    by greenscarob

    I have to say, Geoff John's Flash has become my favorite character over time. He is a real guy, a product of his upbringing and surroundings. He is blue collar, average intelligence, fast...and above all, a hero. With John's last issue of the series out today, I hope he continues to be written so well.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 4:54 p.m. CST

    The Dr Debate...

    by halcyonseven

    To tell you the truth I loved the story ending. thought it was great. She made a shitty choice (which I buy, she has been a pain in the Bat-ass for years with her lame pacifism message to Batman) and she finally acted upon her ignorant convictions. She made a error in judgement. Oops. Now she has to face the consequences of her choice. Thats life. Bats is pissesd. So yes. He fucking bans her from his city. That bothers you? Come on people. If you find that outragous then you must find 95% of comics outragous. I mean, hes a VIGILANTE. Geeze...seriously...deal with it.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Batman

    by SnowMann

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 5:17 p.m. CST

    I accidently read the end of Batman in the store

    by Fantomex

    I think I'm going to have to join you in giving up Batman. It really embodies everything bad (and every bad stereotype) of comicbooks. It is begging harder for a retcon than the cast of Magnolia was begging for an Oscar. I gave up Omac when it required me to buy other comics to know what was going on. The guy actually apologized for it, what a ponce. I feel basically the same way about Liefeld as you; actually, I LIKE the giant soldier pads and wish they would make a comeback. But he can't link 2 frames to save his life.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 5:20 p.m. CST

    My Ambush Bug Impression....

    by Lolthien

    Wow JRJR is great! JRJR stands for John Romita JR, but its cooler to say JRJR than Romita or anyting. JRJR can draw well, I like to write JRJR because it looks like JR, JR, or Junior Junior. I also call Puff Daddy Diddy, cause he tells me its cooler, and its easier to type. Anyway, back to JRJR. JRJR is fun to type. If you type JRJR backwards and add an R its RJRJR, I like R's and J's. ____________ I keed with you Bug, but still... damn, call him something else will ya?

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 5:41 p.m. CST

    That's "Bauer" as in

    by The Heathen

    Jack Bauer Power Hour my friend. Or as Jack would say, "DAMMIT!!!"

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 5:52 p.m. CST

    favorite character growing up: iron man

    by fried samurai

    And I'm talking about the Iron Man written years ago.When I was a kid I thought most superheroes were just lame and boring.I couldnt relate to any of them.Everyone just looked too squeaky clean for their own good.Then I walked into a comic shop for the first time and the first comic book I laid eyes on was Iron Man.It was the Demon in the Bottle issue.Tony Stark with his helmut off looking all fucked up like he'd just been through hell.Not because he fought some alien but because he was plastered.Here was a superhero who was rich,a pimp with the ladies and super powerful when he donned his armor.But at the same time could succumb to alcoholism and become dead broke like everybody else.I was hooked.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 6:09 p.m. CST

    My least favorite character

    by El Vale

    Is the Moviemack. He was lame to begin with but lately it's been a downward spiral into self parody. Plus the whole Beetlejuice thing, where all you have to do is say Batman three times to summon him, that's just crap!

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Dr. Strange was my favorite character as a little kid.

    by SleazyG.

    No shit. I mean, I was thrilled to read any comic I could get my hands on, like FF or NICK FURY or NOT BRAND ECCCHHH or old JSA stories or whatever, really. But if you had asked me, in like second or third grade, it woulda been Dr. Strange hands down. See, science is everywhere. It's all around us, and as a kid I totally dug it. But magic? Otherworldly planes? Dudes with flaming heads or no eyes? THAT wasn't everyday, all around us kinda stuff. There was a lot of crazy-assed, trippy as hell imagery going on with Doc Strange, and as a little kid it blew me away. I was just like "oh man--that dude is walking on an upside down purple pathway winding through a place where space is white and the stars are black and there's a bunch of Nameless Ones headed towards him, and..." It really opened my head up to a lot of crazy possibilities, and I wish somebody who understood the character could get the series relaunched. JMs completely misunderstood and screwed up that character in his dismal little miniseries, which means another half-decade of no DR. STRANGE comics. Dammit.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 6:14 p.m. CST

    El Vale

    by fried samurai

    LoL.I had a bad day but your post put a smile on my face :)

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 7:02 p.m. CST

    Favorite Character of all time =

    by Prof C

    GREEN LANTERN. No debate. The debate is only over who's the best GL. Alan Scott or Hal Jordan. Too close to call in my book.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Yes it is the very same Bill Willingham

    by Psynapse

    Also the Bill Willingham that created the brilliant and much missed Elementals.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Hal who, Prof?

    by SleazyG.

    The real toss-up is between Alan Scott and Kyle Rayner. I'd just as soon Hal Jordan had stayed dead--caving to all the Alex Ross-led whiners and bringing the guy back was a bad idea. That said, Johns did a decent job of getting him back in the saddle and I'm liking the new series. I just really feel that Rayner was a far better developed and more interesting, deeper character who deserved a lot more credit than he got.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 7:12 p.m. CST

    Nice interview, but

    by The Heathen

    wasn't Raven Gregory the last creator interview that was on this @$$holes column? I am glad to hear that the characters from the first 11 issues will make a return to actually advance the plot of this bi-monthly series, because it's been a couple years of build up that has kept me with the whole 13 issues so far I think out of morbid curiousity. And this coming from a All Week Cog Smoocher. Damn Vroom. Spit upon? Maced? Sorry guy.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 7:23 p.m. CST

    T.U.R.T.L.E. Power

    by The Heathen

    I actually was going to perform for a talent show, but luckily we sucked too bad to be put on stage. Good times though. *** fried samurai, sounds like you had an "interesting " childhood. Just joking, but nice job of giving your reasons for liking Iron Man. Can't argue w/ you there.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 7:31 p.m. CST

    I agree on the Shadow Pact

    by The Heathen

    Like this mini a lot, but I don't think I'd like to see an ongoing series. It would be great to have another mini or one shot every few years w/ the team reforming to battle something magical. It would make sense that they would only get together ever so often because of what the wizard said about the Shadow Pact in this issue. Can't believe Willingham also wrote that Batman crap. Wow. How's Schleppy @$$holes? Did you oust him too? I'm always reminded of that dirty little bastard when I see Detective Chimp.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Fav/Least Fav

    by fiester

    I can't do today cuz I stopped seriously collecting years ago, but back in the day my favs included: Spider-Man, Batman, Wolverine, Daredevil, and the gray Hulk. I guess that era would be late-80s/early-90s. Some sleeper characters were folks like Blue Devil, Firestorm, Dazzler and Spider-Woman (in their own comics). Least favorites include: Superman (the ultimate lame character), Gambit (only chefs should talk like that), Longshot (what's with the fucking mullet?)and The Scarlet Witch (what exactly is her power anyway? hex bolts? What the fuck are those?). Pretty much everyone on Alpha Flight was a complete and utter waste of time too.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 8:46 p.m. CST

    Yay! The Cog smooches got shouted out in the main column!

    by Darth Kal-El

    wait,where u making fun of us?

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 8:54 p.m. CST

    I actually liked the late-90's ALPHA FLIGHT revamp.

    by SleazyG.

    Yeah, the government conspiracy angle is a bit overdone these days, but I felt that book had some neat ideas and was well executed, and not all the characters are totally worthless. Puck is funny but sympathetic, that one redheaded chick has the power of Canadian hotness, and Northstar deserves props for being one of the earliest and most prominent gay characters. Speaking of which, I wonder ever happened to that gay Peruvian dude from DC's NEW GUARDIANS. I don't even remember what his power was, unless it was the power to bore the reader with stereotypical behavior...

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 8:57 p.m. CST

    great reviews and qna guys

    by Darth Kal-El

    sorry u got maced vroom that sucks.theres no excusing some of the bullshit kids do to other kids.i went to a small private school in new mexico and people generally got along. tho i wold see some kids be tormented from time to time it was rare.great q n a as well. i love the gift its a cool concept and i like where it seems to be going. i havent read too much more than the trade and a few issues but i liked it.good job vale aon picking my namesake for fave character. mine is superman but im also really liking benito medici over in 100 bullets.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:07 p.m. CST

    Favorite character?

    by Hopewellds

    Marvel: Blink DC: Kyle Rayner I'm avoiding most of DC right now. When Hal dies again, Superman is super again, and when Batman isn't written as a bigger psycho than his rogue gallery, I'll come back.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:16 p.m. CST

    Hal Jordan

    by IRuleAll

    I hate to say this, but...Jordan sucks. I work in a comic shop and the owner and no fewer than five customers have made an effort to say that he's boring an some are even talking about dropping the book. Hey Johns, you love the Silver Age so much, how about we get rid of Wally and bring back Barry Allen? Hell, better not say that shit to Alex Ross, that bald mofo would do it.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:17 p.m. CST

    anyone read wha-huh yet?

    by sideshowbob

    I expected it to be good, and it was even better than I expected. When I read the Identity Crisis spoof, I was all like "oh, snap, no they di'nt!". Clever stuff.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:25 p.m. CST

    favorite characters

    by sideshowbob

    All-time: The Thing, Doctor Octopus and Daredevil (hope the Slott series makes the Thing #1 again). *** Nowadays: Ultimate Cap, Giant Man and Thor. Yotsuba. Lono from 100 Bullets. Craig Thompson as himself. *** Characters I've always liked in theory but rarely in execution: Dr.Strange. The Hulk. Silver Surfer. Batman. *** Least favorite: tough call. Jean Grey, maybe. Mary Jane Parker. Huh, what do I have against redheads? Oh yeah, they're boring and take away from their books.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:28 p.m. CST

    It's Brainiac. B-R-A-I-Niac.

    by Dave Bowman

    If it were "Braniac", his power would be super regularity.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:34 p.m. CST

    favorite character and you guys suck

    by YO MOM'S GOAT

    My favorite character coming up (and still though the comic sucks harder than hurrican kat right now) is Iron Man. But it wasn't he Demon in a Bottle story... no no no... Tony Stark, my friends, has no powers (until that stupid sci-fi novelist F'd him up last month). He's just a really smart dude who built a suit of armor and flys around and, I'm quite convinced, could defeat any other hero or villain in the Marvel Universe if given a car battery, a box of paper clips, some tacky glue and an hours time. Iron Man is the best. Its the suits of armor, its his way with the ladies, its the way he used to actually be an arms dealer and wasn't EVIL... he's the great industrialist in comics and the most likely to be a Republican. Iron Man is the best. For me anyhow. Love him. Just wish someone would write him right (and publish him once a month). Oh, and on another subject, you guys suck... by you guys I mean you reviewers... you all suck. Yeah, OMAC has its moments but I've NEVER been a big DC guy and these minis have me going crazy to read every DC comic I can get my hands on lately. I'm swept up in it and can't wait for the next issue. Stop being so jaded. Who cares about Rocket Red really... I thought his death was meaningful and it happened well before we realized there were a bajillion more OMACS floating around... therefore, when we found out that there were a bajillion more OMACS floating around the reader, if they were me, and I was, is like, WHOAH, DUDE, Rocket Red just died killing three of those and now there are a bajillion? That's F'd up! Know what I mean? Oh, and for whatever its worth, I've just started reading Hawkman and he's my favorite character to read right now... I love him and wish I'd discovered him twenty years ago when I was just coming up. Something about the mace and the rage... and the writer / art team is the best in comics right now for my money... Palmiotti and Gray and Bennet I think, and that ink guy and that lettering guy. If you guys are reading this, props to you! Alright, back to yo mom.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:34 p.m. CST

    Yeah Wha huh, i was expecting that one today

    by El Vale

    Somehow the @$$holes have the uncanny ability to review every book i'm not interested in

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:39 p.m. CST

    wha huh came out today, El Vale

    by sideshowbob

    If they review it, it will be next week.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:43 p.m. CST

    Leslie did a bad thing..lets "take the bullet"??

    by jimmyvox

    I find it highly unprofessional when a reviewer calls for a boycott-return of something he hates it so badly. I myself left "War Crimes" feeling a little flat, but only because it was a great story that ran out of gas, not because of the supposed morally reprehensible nature of the final act with Leslie Thompkins. Perhaps they were a bit uncharacteristic, her actions, but the fact of teh matter is that despite how long shes been around, she was always a fourth-tier character who only served a purpose when someone in Batman's stable got hurt. I won't find myself dropping the title or even missing her for that matter because (A) this ending was completely and totally obvious since the first issue of the story arc, so nobody should be so appauled when they spent the 8 bucks to get to the fouth chapter and (B)Because I just don't care about Leslie Thompkins. She was an unnecessary crutch anyway. A woman that batman ran to in tears whenever he needed emotional guidance or someone to tell him that he's a good boy. A character as endearing and powerful as Batman should be able to stand on his own merits, and not require a character such as Leslie to fix things when they go wrong. Anyway though, I digress as I'm not reviewing the comic here, only the manner in which the reviewer overreacted in my opinion. I myself have several years of professiol reviewing unde rmy belt, and I've never called for the readers to return a product simply because it bugged me. If I sound like an ass, I sincerely apologize, as I'm actually a fan of Mr. Vroom Socko's reviews and his opinion on the book is as perfectly valid as anyone's. I just feel that he overreacted to an ending that due to the character involved, was not as horrible as it was taken to be.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 9:46 p.m. CST

    Favorite Superhero, you mean?

    by 3 Bag Enema

    Ultimate Thor. God, I never thought "favorite" and "Thor" would be used by me in the same sentence. Non super-hero? Jimmy Corrigan, Smartest Kid on Earth.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 10:29 p.m. CST

    I was talking the original Alpha Flight run...

    by fiester

    It was the most disjointed thing going when it first came out. Byrne didn't seem to know what he wanted to do. He killed off two of the team in the first ten issues, then vanished most of the rest. At one point it was just a comic about the original Vindicator's wife who took over his role for some reason. Puck rolled away. The Beta Flight people sort of popped in and out, then went bad, but nothing ever got rolling except for tedious plot lines about the one snowy chick whose sole power seemed to be the ability to turn into an owl, and the Native American (or should it be Canadian?) guy who could apparently cause your garden to become overgrown. They even failed to do anything with Sasquatch, who could have been a really cool character. Oh it was terrible. I lost track around the time the guy who could sort of make metal into all kinds of things got fused into the suit that originally belonged to the Box character who was a paraplegic (another character they set-up, then bailed on almost immediately). At one point, he had actually changed into a spaceship and was flying around with the wife of the original Vindicator guy, and that was it, they were pretty much the entire team, though it wasn't Alpha Flight, hadn't been Alpha Flight for a while, even that art had become rushed and sloppy, like no one really gave a shit about it anymore, it was like they wanted to get the book cancelled. I did not know they revamped it.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Power Cosmic

    by Drcool975

    Silver Surfer - Marvel and overall Jim Corrigan/Spectre - DC and neither have been written with any justice in years. And DC is total crap these days. Just read Wonder Woman in the comic store. Supes is shocked! Shocked that she had to kill a villan to save him and the rest of the world. And then she goes begging Batman for approval and support and he is a complete asshole and he says "get out". And if you are mad because you haven't read it yet, fuck you for looking forward to this utter shite. I just saved you some money.

  • Aug. 31, 2005, 11:37 p.m. CST

    favorite characters

    by Doc Farthammer

    It always depended, for me, in my formative years, on who was doing the writing. I always liked Miller's original run on Daredevil. But Bendis's Daredevil I no like so much. Bendis desperately wants to be Aaron Sorkin, who desperately wants to be a combination of Arthur Miller and David Mamet. And speaking of someone named Miller; Miller's Batman is pure, Mickey Spillaine-ish crap. Anybody read "all-star Batman and Vicky Vale"? Terrible. Shallow. Tough-guy bullshit at its worse. The reason I liked Daredevil back in the day is, like Iron Man, he was just a guy, a guy who could do some pretty incredible stuff and suffered psychologically because of the difference between him and the people around him. Best thing Marvel could do for a fading character? Give Iron Man back his heyday, shell-head, red and yellow armor. It's not magic, for Christ's sake; it's just a great suit of armor,like a knight with the right equipment. But I always favored the guys that were (mostly) human; who used what they had to the best of their ability. I mean, let's face it, when you're a kid, you know you're not going to grow up to become the last son of Krypton; but you do indulge the fantasy of, like Iron Man,like Batman, you could train and think really hard and do something with what you have. Of course, then you grow up to become a drunk who has sincere conversations with a message board... but still. The fantasy's inspiring enough. Miller hasn't done anything worth a flying fuck since the original Sin City (now, uh, the 'hard goodbye') He just keeps getting worse and worse. Ultimate Thor is actually the best thing about the Ultimates. I'd go so far as to say, with Hank Pym, Thor is the only emotional connection any reader is given the chance to make with the Ultimates. And with Pym, as well as he's written (best Millar character ever?), you still have to get past that whole 'almost killed his wife thing.' Ah, non-discursiveness.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:21 a.m. CST

    Great characters

    by El Vale

    I guess none of you have ever read Tintin, but there's a character in that comic called Captain Haddock...he's one of the best ever. Also, you know who i liked a lot? Mr. Shepherd, and i couldn't tell you why. John Constantine obviously. I honestly couldn't say what a lame character is. There's lame writers who can't come up with an interesting angle on a character, that's for sure.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Well at least she didn't screw Norman Osborn.

    by Heywood Jablowme

    So she offed some girl who thought she could make it as Robin. The character didn't work, so they bumped her off. Who cares if it's Dr. Thompkins or, what the hell, Commissioner Gordon who's responsible. She deserved it. Comic book fans don't want whacky gimmicks like this. Robin is the Boy Wonder, dammit. Batman's old chum is supposed to be a pluckish, virile, strapping, dextious, cute young boy who needs molding and guidance. Geeeez. get it right. Sincerely, Wacko Jacko.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:38 a.m. CST

    blah

    by DrLektor

    Anyone else think that DC should have started numbering Batman, 'Tec Comics and Action Comics back with the rest in 86? What's history got to do with anything now that the current slide in DC storytelling is becoming a pretty steep downward slope. In 20 years I've watched icons slowly become pale shadows of the old days, behaving not as they should in a heroic fashion but reflecting changed in society, ie, more violence in the media = Batman becoming something violent... hmm, I guess that's always the way it's been, call me a cynical bastard, I apologize. One of the comics that rubbed me up the wrong way recently was All Star Batman and Robin, please tell me that wan't in continuity, idiocy in sequential form. Even if ir was an Elseworlds type tale it's little more than a lingerie catalogue , every character behaved so wrong it'd be hard to recognize them without the costumes on. And as for Superman acting like a "pansy" with Wonder Woman, here's a clue, he's in love with her. Think about it.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:43 a.m. CST

    With respect to the question/debate of the week, well, there is

    by Heywood Jablowme

    Doom does not recognize such an inane waste of his superior intellect! Bah! Richards must be behind this somehow! How dare he distract time away from these fanboys, er, slaves! Time they should be spending serving me in all my glory. All shall grovel and pay homage to Dr. Doom, ruler of Latveria! Enough of this waste of my precious time. I must be off to rid the world of this "Julian McMahon". I will blast him into oblivion for such a feeble portrayal of the greatest ruler to have walked the earth. Seriously, I have Doombots laying around in the basement of my castle from the 60's that could have done a better job. Why are you reading this? Grovel slaves!!! Grovel!!!

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:56 a.m. CST

    i agree with vale

    by blackthought

    on moviemack being in the worst character ever side...i'd throw chuck austen there too and whoever's idea was to price single issue comics at 3 bucks an average...i have families to feed and well maybe just me, but still.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:04 a.m. CST

    Crazy shit

    by El Vale

    Frank Miller is getting more shit from @$$holes and talkbackers than Bendis in this here fine institution as of late. Who'll be next?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:06 a.m. CST

    Tintin

    by cyberskunk

    Yeah, I've read Tintin. My older siblings had a number of Tintin books and I read through them as a child. I only remember snatches of the stories now. One was about going to the moon in an astronaut an eccentric professor designed, and another had some adventures in a desert, and another may've been King Ottoman's Sceptre.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:37 a.m. CST

    It's Bauer, Jack B-A-U-E-R!

    by Zardoz

    not BOWER, fer chrissakes! How can anyone who writes for AICN, the biggest 24 fan-site on the planet not know that?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:53 a.m. CST

    Jack Bower really is cool

    by El Vale

    Jack fucking Bower with his catch phrase "Dammit!" and the crazy 24 antics. Can't get enough of that pi

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 4 a.m. CST

    i like my animal characters

    by speed

    I gotta say Uncle scrooge, the greedy phoney bone and the monkey from y the last man. he is sort of like the R2D2 of that series. Least favourite: doraemon. i hate that little magic pocketed bastard.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 7:34 a.m. CST

    uncle scrooge

    by blackthought

    is great, animal or no animal, the character is great. and i love 24 and jack bauer, have him hook up with president palmer in a series would be nice.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Superman is a contradiction

    by Dreth

    Here's the rub- death on a farm is almost a daily occurrence. Horse gets hobbled? Put it down. Sick cow, bang. Shit, even that old clich

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 8:40 a.m. CST

    DOOM!!!!

    by verge

    My favorite character has always been Doom and always will be. Only the comic one, though, NOT the movie crap. Least favorite character is probably Daredevil. He's just kinda boring to me.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Favorite: Aztek. Least Favorite: Max from Losers

    by Squashua

    There.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 9:33 a.m. CST

    The monkey's name is Ampersand, as in: &

    by Shigeru

    And my favorite character? Willie Lumpkin. He can wiggle his fucking ears, and he always delivers the mail on time... and he, uh...bagged Aunt May...uhh okay nevermind. Seriously tho choices would have to be Ogami Itto (from Lone Wolf & Cub), yeah Yorick Brown... Silver Surfer has to have the most (wasted) potential. I also really like the idea of Galactus, like where does he poo? Does he have alone time with his thoughts? Has he ever had a girlfriend?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 9:33 a.m. CST

    More Bower to you.

    by The Heathen

    I pointed it out already Zardoz. Just in case anybody cares here's a link to the second of two 24 one-shots to come out. They're freakin expensive and unread by me, but they do have an Epting art style. Enjoy. *** http://tinyurl.com/79tev *** http://tinyurl.com/7h65n ***

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Favorite characters. Hmm.

    by The Heathen

    I'd say Yorick is definetly a good one. The idea of Batman and what he should be is probably my all time fav. Maybe after Infinite Crisis something will be resolved. Having said that, I also like the idea of Dick Grayson whether he be Nightwing and/or possibly take over the Bat mantle. I like the responsiblity and burden of continuing what he was trained from a child to do. I also really like Tyrese from Walking Dead. I was so pissed when I thought he was killed off, but now I think he's even so much more bad ass. And I'm liking Desolation Jones for the two issues I've seen him in. Don't stone me, but I like Wolverine written by Whedon too. Maybe it's his simplicity. Least fav? I'd have to agree w/ Vale and blackthought.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Ambush Bug and writer-idolation

    by devilinhelsinki

    In your review for Teen Titans #27 Ambush Bug commented briefly on the sea change in comic fandom from artist-praise to writer-idolation. I believe the reason for this change is the fact that it's the exact same audience that was buying Rob Liefeld comics in the 90s that's buying JMS, Brian K. Vaighn, and Bendis books now. We've all grown up. And after getting burned repeatedly throughout the 90s by books by the likes of Liefeld, we all came to realize that a 'cool' artist isn't what makes a comic book good. Yes, the art is an integral part, as comics are a visual medium, but if the story sucks then all you have is a collection of pretty pictures. Conversely, if you have a great story, then you don't necessarily need great art. For example, I know a lot of you @$$holes love Y: The Last Man. It's also one of my favorite books right now, but I guarantee that not one of us buys it for the art.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:04 a.m. CST

    DC GORE

    by hamgravy

    Is there any distinction between the standard DC line and their mature-readers books? Besides the whole Dr. Deathkins debate, we have (in the same issue I believe - didn't buy it) Killer Croc chomping his Dr. Lady in half, innards and all. And, over in Green Lantern, some Street Shark displays the head and arm of his just-eaten victim in his open maw to the guy's soon-to-be-eaten girlfriend. Isn't this sort of schlock and awe normally reserved for Vertigo and Garth Ennis?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Great Story, Inert Art

    by hamgravy

    Despite everyone telling me how great Y: The Last Man is I can't get anywhere near it because the art looks so lifeless. I also want to read an Animal Man trade but I have that same problem on top of the fact that everything's colored pink and yellow like most DC comics from that era. I don't need anything flashy just visually engaging. JH Williams III and John Cassady can make talky comics look alive.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Go read a book

    by hamgravy

    As far as comics go, I'll take a collection of pretty pictures over what passes for a good story anyday.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Favorite character? Easy.

    by rev_skarekroe

    Sprocket Man! http://www.strangecult.com/pisser/sprocket/sm_back3.jpg

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Current Fave Character: Roger the Homonucleus

    by hamgravy

    I read all of the Hellboy Trades and current BRPD series over the past few weeks and Roger has emerged as one of the most entertaining and essential characters. He has a certain "rightness" about him. His intentions are pure, his existence is conflicted, and he has no pants. And, his "blank slate" quality allows him to grow according to his experiences: no bogged-down continuity. Plus the no pants thing and the way he mimics Captain Daimio in the new BRPD series are out and out funny.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:40 a.m. CST

    "As far as comics go, I'll take a collection of pretty pictu

    by Shigeru

    Oy! I hope this isn't the sentiment of a lot of readers, or else history is doomed to repeat itself. Go read your back issues of Prophett. Or maybe...Lady Pendragon (anybody remember that one?)

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:51 a.m. CST

    I'll take a better story myself.

    by The Heathen

    That's why I've read books like Y: The Last Man and The Atheist. Not just for purty pictures, but an intriguing story. Afterall, if you read a lot of "normal" books you should have an imaginative thought process. This way you could imagine your own images if really desired. History is indeed doomed to repeat itself w/ this type of attitude towards the comic book medium. Hope it isn't so.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:54 a.m. CST

    JH Williams III and John Cassaday are some of the best though.

    by The Heathen

    I think John Cassaday's JC signature/logo is the coolest I've seen from an artist too. Just thought I'd thow that in for good measure.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 11:07 a.m. CST

    Oh, Cassaday's one of my favorite artists working right now.

    by Shigeru

    but I think he would tell anyone that it's all about the STORYtelling.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST

    for other best characters right now

    by blackthought

    i'd throw out the goon for consumption though my personal fav is batman...when he is written right he's fantastic...and i've always thought wolverine was overrated though he's on niether the best or worst for me.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Tradesmen

    by hamgravy

    At this point it seems that everyone's good and tired of the pin-up approach to comic art and artists who "can't link two panels together." And justifiably so. Otherwise we should just buy covers (which used to tell a whole story in one image, but that's another issue). I personally need for my artists to be visible in their contribution to pacing, panelling and flow of the story. Just as I will pick up Y, I highly reccommend picking up issues of Cable from a few years back when Ladronn had a run as the artist. Besides his gifted Kirby/ Moebius linework, the guy knew how to tell a story with pictures. Did I care about that story? Not really. Same goes for Jae Lee on GI Joe/ Transformers. I think we all agree that comics are best when both factors, art and story, are working in tandem. But, as a visual medium, I don't want to be deterred just from cracking open the book. I also don't need flashy blockbusters. Concrete's got story and heart and images that can linger with me for days and years.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Superman aka Sissyman

    by Shigeru

    wait a sec...I thought most of you @$$holes were all up in arms about this new "darker, more violent" DC and how it was like the rider on the pale horse tolling the end of comics as we know it or something? And now you're complaining that Supes is acting like too much of a sissy? Well I could think of a lot of examples where people acted like sissies over the death of minor DCU characters...

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Um, sorry, I think the art on Y: The Last Man is some of the bes

    by superhero

    Great storytelling and linework...sorry there's not enough cross hatching bringing it to life for you guys...

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 11:45 a.m. CST

    I'm not asking for Superman to act more violently...

    by superhero

    What I am asking is that he act in character. He's had to make the hard descision to kill before. Max Lord made him believe that Lois was killed by Doomsday and he went on a veangeance filled rampage that took out half of Metropolis and he's upset that Diana killed Lord to save him...? Vengeance filled rampage? Does that sound like Superman to you? Um, some consistency please. Your best friend saved your life and all you can do is judge her actions and not try and understand her? Plus the fact that Batman, who built the damn satellite in the first place and has placed everyone in jeaopardy a SECOND time with his paranoid antics, is now disgusted with her as well? What the fuck???? SHE SAVED THE WORLD! Hey, DC heroes, stop being such whiny little bitches and step up to the plate, huh?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:08 p.m. CST

    I'd never even heard of Leslie Thompkins before today.

    by rev_skarekroe

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Just going on record as saying I always hated Leifeld

    by mortsleam

    Although I believe I covered that last week. Also, I always thought Byrne's Alpha Flight tried to do something truly unique at the time: a team book that was truly an ensemble, with single issue stories devoted to individual characters, instead of "Wolverine saves the day again". Unfortunately, Bill Mantlo proceeded to completely mischaracterize and destroy everything Byrne did, and he gave Jim Lee his first job at Marvel to boot. All-time favorite character? Nightcrawler in Claremont & Davis' original Excalibur, when he was still fun, before he became a priest or found out who his parents were, or even cared about any of that shit. Least Favorite Character: Take your pick of any poorly thought-out, design-over-character, early 90's waste of paper. Gambit, Bishop, Cable, Deadpool, Venom, Rage, Lobo, et al. Also: I never liked Kyle Rayner's GL uniform. Character? Good. Design? You just can't better the Hal Jordan design. It's classic, and yet was ahead of its time when it was created. And that's why people really want to see him back. Just like why Spidey really dropped the black costume, or the Ben Reilly sweatsuit, or whatever else they've given him. Classic simplistic iconic designs will always be around. Big shoulder pads and purple armor and chunky gloves won't.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:21 p.m. CST

    When both the STORY and ART are really good it is the best.

    by The Heathen

    I wish every book had good art to go along w/ a good story, but unfortunately that's not the case for most. A few examples of both: Desolation Jones, Hip Flask, Astonishing X-Men and Green Lantern to name a few. I think Ladronn is awesome too, check out his Hip Flask work.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Kyle Rayner's uniform and Leslie Thompkins

    by The Heathen

    The first design was horrible, but I like the one he's wearing now and has had for most of the time. It fit's his style. Better than Gardner's anyway. *** I've only heard of Leslie Thompkins once or twice and will not shed a tear of anything that has happened w/ that. I just want to forget both of these "War" arcs as soon as possible because they both sucked and weren't needed. They felt like they belonged in a pocket universe of Batman or something. And that was REALLY brutal what the Killer Croc did to his Doctor. Damn gory for a Batman book.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 12:54 p.m. CST

    IsTalkCheap go read Kindom Come for a good reaction Superman cou

    by superhero

    Yes, Superman should be upset that Lois has died but to go on a berserker rage and get into an all out battle that endangers and kills innocent civilians? Glad that's how you like your Superman but that's NOT how I like mine...As far as Diana goes...you seemed to have missed the fact that she WAS all out of options when she killed Lord. She had no other choice. Guess you missed that part...My problem is with Superman being completely shocked that she had to kill him. What did he want her to do? Lord could have controlled Superman from anywhere on the planet. He could have made Superman do anything he wanted him to. He could have made Superman kill indiscriminately. So Superman's not relieved by the fact that she stopped Lord...instead he's upset with his friend who stopped him from becoming a killing machine? Not to mention that in Lord's dream world Superman was on a killing spree of his own in his own imagination and he's pissed at Diana for killing him? Sorry, not buyin' it. Not buyin' ANY of it.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 1:23 p.m. CST

    supes, I think he was more saying...

    by Shigeru

    that critics have been displaying double standards when it comes to their feelings of this whole "darker" DCU. First it was "rape and kill Sue Diby?? mindwipe villains??! FUCK DC!" and now it's "They shoulda burned Dr. Light alive when they caught him, and popped Max Lord's head like a grape!". Regaurdless of most heroes 'no kill ever, no matter what' stance (remember The Killing Joke? "Bring him in by the book, Batman"--How many future lives could have been saved by crossing that line and just killing the Joker right then and there?). Couldn't WW just punch him really hard? Fact is Superman is never gonna be the character YOU want him to be unless YOU write the durn book. All this coming from a guy who saw no problem with snapping Lord's neck.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Superman should have understood Wonder Woman

    by The Heathen

    She has the rope tied around Lord's neck. The rope that makes you tell the truth mind you. She asks him what the only way to stop him is. He answered. I'd say she freaking told him and Superman should have understood for that reason if for not any other.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Good points Shigeru

    by The Heathen

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 1:28 p.m. CST

    omg

    by blackthought

    what happens to supes when krypto starts murdering? will he put him down? will he sob in the corner and rock back and forth with while sucking his thumb?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Krypto get's the kryptonite doggy bone

    by The Heathen

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 1:34 p.m. CST

    I think the problem here is...

    by Ambush Bug

    That there really is no complete critical consensus here on the direction DC has taken here at AICN COMICS. I for one enjoyed IDENTITY CRISIS and am enjoying most of the stuff DC is putting out today. Dave, on the other hand, doesn't seem to. That seems to be a common misconception: that just because one of us reviews a book and has strong feelings about it, this means that the whole group feels that way. Not so. It just means that that reviewer has the podium this month on this particular issue and comic. Superhero wasn't even reviewing for us when IDENTITY CRISIS came out, so I don't think he flip flopped at all. That's just what happens when you have up to ten reviewers on your team. You're bound to have differing opinions about this and that. The think that has kept the Holes going is that we respect each others opinions, even if they don't coincide with our own.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 1:47 p.m. CST

    shit Bug I thought you guys were like a Hive Mind...

    by Shigeru

    speaking of Hive, Runaways was pretty cool haha

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2 p.m. CST

    Nothing but a bunch of holes and cog smooches around here

    by The Heathen

    not that there's anything wrong w/ that. I think it's cool that a bunch of different people can all get along and have different opinions here. I personally liked Identity Crisis too and am also enjoying the DC stuff right now. A lot more than Marvels core universe besides a few titles. With characters older than any of us here, we're bound to have long debates about Superman being a wimp or Batman being an ass. That's why we thankfully have this place to talk about them, and I'll be here All Week to do so (well unless I don't get enough sleep, or I have to move more stuff into my house, or I can't afford to put gas in my car to get to my office to find a working computer, but you get the idea right?)

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:12 p.m. CST

    Favorite Character

    by Watersphere

    Its got to be Thanos. Powermad, affectionate, and honorable. The man has it all. Too bad his latest series was complete garbage.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:22 p.m. CST

    The point everyone seems to be missing...

    by mbeemer

    ... is that not only did Dr. Thompkins commit murder, but Batman LET HER WALK for it. This is supposed to be the champion of vengeance for the innocent, right? He lets a murderer off scott free because she's been a friend to him in the past? "The first one (murder) is free"???? No, the REAL Batman turns murderers over to the police.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:24 p.m. CST

    y'know I always thought Thanos was affectionate

    by Shigeru

    we would snuggle until dawn... sigh...

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Ok, you want an explanation for Superman's actions, here goe

    by Ambush Bug

    No Prize moment here. Freudian psychology suggests the basic structure of the mind consists of three parts: the id, the ego, and the superego. The superego is the moral aspect of the mind which develops with one's own personality as they grow into adulthood. It's the embodiment of the parental and societal values that stores and enforces rules. The id, being the primitive mind deals with all things irrational and emotional. The ego regulates the two sections of the mind and allows us to make decisions between the quick-reactionary id and the calculated ego. It is the moral compass with which we decide how to make every decision and live our lives. If we want to break the law, the ego turns the dial more towards the id, where baser instincts lie. If we want to follow the law, the dial turns toward the superego. Now if you want to explain Superman's recent actions and reactions, you can look at this formula. Not only did Max Lord make Superman see what he wanted him to see, but he also regulated Superman's "ego dial" to point more towards the primitive id section of the mind, causing him to act out homicidally on his feelings of anger to those who harmed Lois. When Wonder Woman snapped Max's neck, Superman's "ego dial" snapped back into place, restarting his moralistic superego, resulting in the him being so offended at Max's murder at the hands of Wonder WOman, even though he was willing to do the same when he thought Lois was dead. It could be seen as hypoctitical on Superman's part, but I'd like to think the whole thing had to do with Max's manipulation of these three aspects of Superman's mind.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Characters Done Right

    by hamgravy

    I was never much of a DC reader until all of the current drama caught my attention. At its best you have a bunch of dedicated fan writers who are trying to make good stories that reconcile years of screwy ideas and iffy continuity. The Green Lantern Rebirth did it best and only strenghtened the mythology around the character. But, the biggest problem seems to be that these versions of the characters are presented as the definitive ones. After all that's happened in their "lives" it IS really hard to swallow the hype that this is the time we're supposed to stand up and take notice. I feel the same way about House of M. For an excellent view of what Spider-Man's fantasy world would be and how he deals with it, check out the Spidey one-shot that came out as part of Universe X. Everyone has those stories that define their character for them. Spider-Man/Human Torch is GREAT. Spidey was always my favorite but I can't say he is right now with all of the Clone-Saga, Gwen-cheatin', Spider-Totem baggage.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Good theory BUG

    by hamgravy

    Just don't know if they thought it through that far. It does remind me of Joss Whedon's writing on X-Men though where he has the characters asking the questions that would be coming out of the fan-boys mouths: "Why bring only the one robot back to life?" "Why take a physical form?" Someone in the comic should be like "Yo Supes, whatdya just do to dream Doomsday? Whaydo do?" and then swat him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:39 p.m. CST

    The art of Y, and thoughts on Superprick

    by El Vale

    When i first started reading Y, not that long ago, i bought it for the story and sorta disliked the art a bit. Thought it was bland and uninteresting. But recently i've warmed up to it a LOT, it seems fantastic to me now, maybe Pia's really improved a great deal over the past few years and what used to be generic lines have developed into a very slick personal style that fits the book perfect. Since it's not so flashy and stylized it has a very realistic tone to it. It reminds me of Steve Dillon on Preacher, the way you could not imagine it being drawn by anyone else in the world. Even kickass artists like Cassaday or Hitch or my fav Quitely, nope, don't work, gimme my Dillon. Does that make sense? ***And on the Superman thing: Maybe that's kinda like the point of the Infinite Crisis? Having all the heroes act like fucking assholes and whimps and whatnot and suffering a lot of tragedy because of it, so that at the end of it all a voice up in the sky says "Well, this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't all been such assholes, so behave children!" and they go back to being real heroes?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 2:54 p.m. CST

    You Have To Take Each Individual Issue On Its' Own Merits.

    by Buzz Maverik

    That's why some times, something like Mr. Bendis' DAREDEVIL gets a thumbs up one month and the next month it can get panned. About the Superman stuff...fanboys are always on the extreme. Gray is a very hard color for comic book fans to see. A hero either has to be dark and violent and nasty...or he's a complete sissy. It seems to me that Superhero was looking for a more realistic, human middle ground for Superman. I remember a fake letter in Alan Moore's Marvel spoof 1963: "...the characters talk and act like real people, although none that I know personally." It's the whole Cyclops/Wolverine debate. Cyclops is a tougher guy than Wolverine, but the fanbase reacts like bowling alley waitresses who have to have their bad boy. Simply, Cyclops leads people he cares about into situations that will eventually get them killed, and yet he has to be responsible for them. That's a lot tougher than the whole I'm a loose cannon berserker crap.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Excellent take on Cyclops Buzz

    by The Heathen

    Not to mention the raw power that Cyclops can harness like when he wiped out that sentinel in Astonishing #8. Not many people write him as well as his character should be either.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Funny You Should Mention TT As Something In A Junior High Trappe

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...Although I would have said a Peachey Folder, myself. Didn't read TT because these days I only have to read comics I'm sure I'll love, but I'm thinking back to YOUNGBLOOD # 2. The away team stops at a European research facility where Prophett is kept in one of those comic book tubes that you can keep people in so they won't age. If I remember right, Prophett was like some WW II hero, sort of a Captain America (he even had a sidekick named Kirby). However, he looked like the lead guitarist in an 80's hair metal band, sort of a cross between Cinderella and Danzig (with the buffness). One of the Youngblood team, who, mind you, is supposed to be a top level US government operative, looks at a control panel, thinks, "I wonder what this button does" pushes it and releases Prophett for a big dukeroo for no reason. I remember laughing when I came across that because it was exactly like a comic this friend of mine did when I was in junior high. We were doing the comic together and he showed me those pages and with customary sensitivity, I said, "That's the stupidest shit I've ever seen in my life!" He said he liked it and we got pissed at each other. The original Image crew always had this reaction, "We're not doing it for some 28 year old fan. We're doing it for the kids." But kids are a tougher audience. They'll call you on shit. I know I was a much more sympathetic audience for YOUNGBLOOD than I would have been in middle school, where no one cuts anyone any slack, which is as it should be.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Favorite Characters, etc.

    by JimiChanga

    My favorite character of all time has to be Jesse Custer from Preacher. He epitomized everything a hero should be in my mind: tough, fearless, and moral. I think the thing that most impressed me about him was the way he never used his nightmarish childhood as an excuse to act like an asshole. So many people blame their own criminal actions on what they endured as a child, but here's a guy who experienced worse things than practically ANYONE (exception: holocaust survivors) and still manages to hold his head high and do the right thing. Favorite superhero character: Captain America. And don't make me choose between Ultimate Cap and Brubaker's version. They're both brilliant and dead-on in their own ways. I like the fact that both writers are finally writing Cap as a SOLDIER, and not a Boy Scout leader. Favorite female characters/team: Jim Mahfood's Grrl Scouts. I don't think I really have anyone I can point to as a least favorite character. There are plenty of characters out there who just don't get my motor running, but I don't bare them any undue ill will. Now, as far as the new issue of Batman goes: I haven't read this book, or any other comic in the past three weeks (moved cross-country and don't have a job; therefore, no budget for comics), but from what I read I'm glad I didn't. The whole ending sounds very nonsensical to me. While I don't care very much about Leslie Thompkins as a character, her actions don't make a lick of sense to me. And the fact that Batman would let someone go free that is not only a murderer, but has also renounced their entire belief system while committing said murder, is unthinkable. It seems to me that everyone writing Batman these days refuses to either shit or get off the pot. If you want to make him a dark, by-any-means necessary type of character, that's fine, then do it. If you want to make him a colorful do-gooder who opposes maltreatment of criminals, that's fine too. But please, pick one or the other. Everyone seems to be writing Batman as some kind of poseur, who acts all tough up until someone deals with a criminal in an effective way. It drives me absolutely crazy.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 3:53 p.m. CST

    I thought this was pretty wise

    by El Vale

    "There are those who explain the attraction to many of the hot artists of the late '80s and early '90s as, "guys that drew the way fans would draw if they could draw." It was the ultimate fan art. Many Jane Watson had more hair, more lashes, bigger jugs, and wore less clothing than anybody thought possible in a book approved by the Comics Code. Characters had an impossible array of pads, pockets and weapons and nobody cared if things changed from one panel to the next or if there were two moons in the sky-- it was fan art and fan art was crude and crazy and busy as all hell." - Erik Larsen

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 4:02 p.m. CST

    JimiChanga

    by El Vale

    Any person who names Jesse Custer their favorite character is ok in my book. All 4 main Preacher characters still blow my mind; Jesse, Tulip, Cassidy and Starr...probably some of the best and most thought out, layered and textured characters ever.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Good quote, El Vale

    by Ambush Bug

    And I think Larsen's words can be applied to today's hot writers too. They grew up thinking, man, wouldn't it be cool if this happened or that happened. Everyone wants to make their mark in the mythos by shaking the status quo up instead of telling well structured stories. It's shocks for shocks sake, characters manipulated despite the way they've acted in the past, and respect for what has come before is thrown out the window. These aren't people writing stories, but people trying to make their mark in comic book history by trying to shock people. That's why Cap kicks Bruce Banner in the face, Gwen Stacy sleeps with Norman Osborne, and DD gets unmasked. You remember those things for their shock value, not becaus ehtey were in good stories. Stories like the Galactus Saga or the Days of Future Past or the Dark Phoenix or Kraven's Last Hunt just aren't happening now in mainstream books.

  • I never thought of that one as "shock", i thought it was an amazing story, and Bendis ran with it because (IMO at least) he had something important to say about DD and Matt Murdock. That and it was something i never thought i'd see, much less handled so well. There's this moment that stuck with me when Matt has a meeting with the publisher he's suing and they're trying to reach an agreement. Then the guy tells his lawyer to leave the room and tells Matt to go fuck himself, he knows he's telling the truth and Matt's lawsuit is horseshit and he'll go to court just for the gesture of it. And i couldn't stop thinking "Jesus, the guy's right!" but at the same time you're rooting for Matt. I don't know if i'm making any sense here but this was a big deal for me, and not because of the unmasking per se but because of the way Bendis dealt with it. One of the best stories i've read in my life. But that's my take on it, when you read it you only see shock for shock's sake. Funny eh?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 5:13 p.m. CST

    Favorites and not

    by Homer Sexual

    Ok, my all-time favorite character is Jessica Drew Spider-Woman, so I have to recognize BMB for bringing her back. Also love Vision and Scarlet Witch, separately but especially as a couple. Thor by Simonson or Jurgens, Black Panther by Priest and original, flat-chested, buck-toothed Terra. Love them all. Current books, I like Yorick and also love the Shining Knight and Klarion the Witch Boy. The worst character ever is easy: Cable! Everything bad about his era is embodied in him. Also loathe "good" Sabretooth. Max Lord, Aztek and Zauriel are lame. Now, regarding comics? Well, Waid's Legion bored me to tears so I dropped it and this review sounds like it's as dull and stodgy as ever. And I like dark DC, but IC was ruined by having such a throwback-sexist conclusion. I went to store too fast and missed Wha-Huh, sounds verry interresting.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Good point on "shock value" Bug

    by The Heathen

    but I think Whedon on Astonishing X-Men, despite the awesomely memorable moment of Colossus returning, still has crafted a good story w/ his run so far. It felt like shock w/ heart to me. *** What I really want after all this Crisis stuff from DC is for the core characters of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern to get back to the good stories over shocks. I think Green Lantern has done good so far and Superman in Action Comics #830 has as well (more on that tomorrow). Batman needs it the most right now. Story-wise and personality wise. Because everyone WANTS to like Batman, but right now he's even making me jaded.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Shock value?

    by Homer Sexual

    I don't think anything on Whedon's X-Men, including return of Colossus has been very shocking. I originally loved the idea of DD being unmasked since I'm no fan of secret identities in general, but then it just dragged on and on and Matt's lawsuit was so "whatever." That's when I finally dropped DD and never really re-read my old issues. Now, Crazy Wanda is shock for shock value, and me no likey. I am sure I'd hate the slutty Gwen thing if I had any interest in Peter Parker. He should stay in costume 24-7.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Hey Homer...

    by Dave_F

    Didya read the latest ASTONISHING? I thought Whedon pulled a big shock value moment during the denouement, and my respect for him (at least as a comic writer) is diminished as a result.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 6:12 p.m. CST

    Ambush Bug

    by JimiChanga

    Agreed on the Gwen Stacy thing, but I don't think the Banner jaw-kick was done for shock value. It made sense in the context of the story and the way the characters have been recreated in the Ultimate Universe. Banner's just murdered over 800-odd people. Accidentally or not, he didn't deserve to be taken in gently. When I read that issue, I didn't think to myself, "Oh my God, Cap just kicked Banner in the jaw, how shocking!" I thought, "Good. That's about what I would have done." The whole thing was a well-written and realistic (well, as much as possible) look at the Hulk going on a rampage through New York, and that panel capped the whole thing perfectly.

  • Remind me, though: is Banner responsible for the Hulk's action over at Ultimate U.? I know the Hulk's his id or whatever, but isn't the personality split about the same as in 616 Marvel, such that Banner really can't control the Hulk, just as Hulk can't control Banner? I'm just saying, I don't know that Banner "deserved" it, though I can see how Cap wouldn't really care at that point.

  • I always considered it an act of frustration comming from cap. He just saw this prick kill hundreds of people because boo hoo, they said Stuart Little should play me in a movie! Like the Changa said, i didn't read it and go "Oh no, the horror, the shock!". I went something like "Yeah, bitch!". It's fucking Millar's take on a new, more badass Captain America you pansies! Oh no, Millar's Ultimate Captain America just kicked a mass murderer in the face, that's like the most mean-spirited thing i've seen in my life, where's my mommy?......... Ok i went too far didn't i?

  • My question was: did Banner deserve it? And I'm not asking it sarcastically. I only follow ULTIMATES intermittently, so I'm not 100% clear on the line between Banner and the Hulk and whether Banner bears any responsibility for the Hulk's actions. Had Banner actually done anything wrong to set the Hulk off? If memory serves, he just got pissed because his wife was a beeyotch, but I dunno, maybe he deliberately didn't take his pills that day or something. Remind me. Anyway, I was responding to JimiChanga saying Banner "didn't deserve to be taken in gently." I was thinking, "He doesn't? Isn't the Hulk, for all practical purposes, a completely separate entity from him?"

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 7:35 p.m. CST

    Istalkcheap, obviously you didn't READ Kingdom Come or else

    by superhero

    Superman leaves society BECAUSE of the fact that he becomes disgusted with their approval of Gog/Magog/whatever's murder of the Joker after he went on a murder rampage in Metropolis. When the Joker murdered Lois and most of the planet staff Superman chose to bring him in ALIVE. He didn't go on a bloodthirsty murderous rampage through Metropolis until he found the Joker. He didn't leave Metropolis because he lost Lois he left because he was disappointed in humanity. I also don't know if I can accept Bug's interpretation of events since it didn't really play out like that in the comic. Superman went apeshit. That's the way it was presented. It didn't seem to me like his feelings were being manipulated just his perception of what was going on around him. And you're trying to tell me that Superman's shocked because he may not know Diana as well as he thought he did? Um, no. If ANYONE snapped you out of a murderous trance the first thing you'd be is grateful...not question what they had to do to get you to snap out of it. And, yep, The Heathen was right...Lord said himself that whenever he woke up he'd just take control of Superman again so knocking him out was not going to be a big help either. Or have we all forgotten about that part?

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 7:44 p.m. CST

    Batman not Batman anymore

    by JarJarIsVader

    They way they made the Dr. the "real" killer sucks balls. Its just DC trying to put a "cool" spin on things and get rid of the hag. 2. Batman not going to be Batman after "year 1." Thats the day I stop reading DC comics. How in the holy hell can you not have Bruce fucking Wayne as the Batman? Yes he is Mortal and yes he grows old, but this is the FUCKING comic book world, they dont have to age damn it. Batman has been around for like 50 years, let it be. Fags.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Re: Ultimate Hulk

    by IRuleAll

    Banner and Hulk are indeed seperate entities, however, Banner purposely took a mixture of supersoldier serum to set off the Hulk to get even with his wife and let loose the beast. If every night at midnight, for one hour, you knew you were gonna turn into a psycho murderer, and your girlfriend pissed you off, so one night you knowingly left the door unchained, as complex as this analogy goes, it goes without saying, you deserve to be kicked in the maw even if you reverted back to normal ole comic book reviewer guy.

  • Like I said the other week, all these heroes angsting over what any sensible person would see as a justifiable homicide...it's just so fucking drama queen. I've always loved that superheroes are so moral, but when writers push their morality to ridiculous lengths, they only end up castrating them. And I hate to say it, but Rucka needs to tone down his goddamn crush on Diana. He falls in love with his female characters and ends up weakening everyone around 'em. He did it with Montoya on GOTHAM CENTRAL, all but handing the book over to her, and he's done it on several occasions with Diana. Remember that WONDER WOMAN graphic novel Rucka wrote? He played Batman as a dope in it, quick to attack Wonder Woman with minimal provocation, all so Rucka's darling could make mincemeat out of him. And now it's happening again with this "Sacrifice" storyline. Diana's this bold bringer of justice, and y'know, I'm fine with that, but not at the expense of Superman! Not if it means he's gonna act like a boy and not a man. And that's exactly how Rucka's protraying him. He acts like a boy when he goes into his nutso rage and he acts like a boy when he afterward gets pouty with Diana and spends an issue feeling sorry for himself (the first of many, no doubt). Edict to Rucka: go wrote more crime and spy comics. Your superhero stuff is shit.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 7:53 p.m. CST

    Thanks, IRule.

    by Dave_F

    It does indeed seem Banner deserved the ol' face-punt. Only thing that bothers, then, is that that scene is so indicative of the book's general mixture of macho posturing and acidic melodrama, but that's a whole 'nother issue.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Yeah Rucka Blows

    by IRuleAll

    I'm with ya on Rucka. Wonder Woman must be a hard character to write, but damn. Okay, we get it, women are equal to men, yada yada yada. Anything more we can do with her? As for the Ultimates, I love it. Everything controversial about it I see as part of its charm. I think Captain America might have started out as a parody of a red-stater, but just like Rorschach in Watchmen I think he grew on the writer and the audience. Maybe as a wistful "this is how men should be", as Garth Ennis frequently writes about. And Millar certainly can take the piss out of himself and his beliefs as evidenced by the funniest bit in Wha-huh, What if Punisher was a bleeding heart? Although it will be interesting to see where he goes if the online rumor is true and Cap is indeed the traitor in Ultimates.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 8:59 p.m. CST

    say what you will about ultimates...

    by sideshowbob

    But those character are INTERESTING. Repulsive, perhaps, but I'm never less than fascinated with them. The Ultimates is THE superhero book for these times, and yes, that says more about these times than it does superheroes. *** By the way, anyone want to spoil me on what happened with WW and Superman? Just give me the cliff notes version and lay it out. I'm curious. Thanks.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 9:18 p.m. CST

    It coitainly is very f'in drama queen, and I should know.

    by Homer Sexual

    I agree with the earlier poster. Batman's reaction at the end of WW is beyond ridiculous. Not that it wasn't given away by the cover "guest starring Batman" blurb anyway. I actually picked up WW beginning only with the Flash cross-over, and have enjoyed the book until now. Get a grip, comic heroes! All this hand-wringing is a bit much, as is the endless repetition of how horrified every single character in the DCU is by the mind-wiping. My current beef is that a lot of these "hot writer" books are not that original. The end of this week's Astonishing is a case in point. Knew it was coming, didn't know when. The conclusion to the Flash Rogue War story was uber-predictable and way drawn out. Of course, I did buy all these comics I am now bashing and lots more too! Sadly, I must admit I really enjoyed the latest New Avengers. It was actually pretty fresh! That doesn't excuse the baby-crazy Wanda wants to kill the Old Avengers, though. Not by a long shot.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Joe Mad and Jeph Loeb on Ultimates Vol. 3

    by George Newman

    Holy moly http://www.joemadfan.com/news/cap1.jpg

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 10:51 p.m. CST

    The Cliff Notes version...

    by Dave_F

    Max Lord mind-controlled Superman into seeing his buds as enemies. Supes beat the crap out of Batman and went on the aforementioned cuckoo rampage when Max had him thinking Wonder Woman was Doomsday and that Doomsday had offed Lois. Wonder Woman gets the drop on Max, during which time Supes briefly snaps out of it, but Max promises to hip-mo-tize him again, wreak more carnage, etc. Tells Wonder Woman the only way to stop him is to kill him. So she breaks his neck. Batman and Superman then act like schoolgirls in this contrived little drama, shocked at Wonder Woman's actions and no doubt stimulating endless brilliant internet discussions about "How far is too far?", "Should heroes kill?", and the classic, "Is Superman a colossal pussy?". Me, I think back to the '80s where I saw every single one of DC's Holy Trinity off some evil bastard or another without need of a 30-part-crossover or the tut-tutting of their fellow heroes. Supes offed those Phantom Zone crooks, as Superhero noted in his review. Diana killed any number of mythological monsters (and you might say, "Hey, they weren't human, it don't count none!", but plenty of 'em were intelligent and talked like humans, so I say yer wrong). And as for Batman...well...I have to jump to DARK KNIGHT RETURNS, but I'm thinking of the scene where he machine-gunned the mutant holding a kid hostage. It's weird - sometimes the comics that ostensibly had more juvenile leanings actually strike me as more mature. ***** By the way, as someone only casually following OMAC, I need a Cliff Note or two m'self: was Max Lord's death indeed part of his Big Plan? Didn't it kick all the OMAC robots into overdrive or somesuch? Also, was it ever explained how he manipulated Superman so easily? Back in The Day, I remember Max got nosebleeds just from messing heavily with normal guys' heads. Did his powers get boosted? Oh yeah, and what's the death toll currently at for the old JLI? Beetle, Max, Rocket Red, and (tangentially) Sue Dibny? Anyone else? I just know G'Nort had best watch his ass - 'pears Rucka hates the JLI as much as he *hearts* Wonder Woman.

  • WIZARD had the exclusive story that it was Loeb/Madureira, but it leaked a week or so early, which amuses me even though it won't hurt WIZARD's sales or anything. Anyway, much gnashing of teeth from ULTIMATES fans over the news, many declaring that the book effectively ends for them when Millar and Hitch leave. In other words: tough audience. ****** By the way, Sideshow, I'm forced to reluctantly agree with your assessment of THE ULTIMATES. It's highly readable even for me, and like it or not, seems pretty Zeitgeisty. Woulda been nice if Millar could've pulled it off without using the names of Marvel's classic heroes to sell it.

  • Sept. 1, 2005, 11:30 p.m. CST

    I agree with you Sideshow

    by El Vale

    Ultimates does strike me as the superhero comic for our times. Cynical and amoral and no so heroic, that says more about the world today than it does about the inssular world of american comics. And Dave i'm sorry for the hostility back there. I'm easily overcome with sarcasm. And it HAD to be classic Marvel characters, man! Why not?

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 12:13 a.m. CST

    Why not, Vale?

    by Dave_F

    Same reason Disney doesn't do R-rated version of their characters, Charlie Brown never grew up alongside his audience, and Bugs Bunny hasn't been remade into some bullshit, extreme, anime-style...wait, what? "Buzz Bunny"? THE HELL?!! Okay, ya got me on that one, but look how *that* one's going over. Point is, you don't tarnish a proven brand. You don't dilute juvenile icons with adultified variants thereof. Some traditions are worth preserving and not selling out. That's how I feel.

  • I don't think Millar's doing wrong by the characters, or disrespecting their history or whatever. So Cap kicked someone in the face...i'm sure he never did anything as bad as that when he was fighting WW2. If i'd created Cap all those years ago, i'd be fucking giddy to see people still wanna read about my character and people still wanna work hard on him as well. A lot of work goes into Ultimates, you can tell these people are giving it their best, what's so wrong about that? They may not be your father's avengers, but they're not tragically out of character as far as i can tell.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 1:10 a.m. CST

    Hulk eating folks isn't out of character?

    by Dave_F

    Look, ULTIMATES might be rooted in Marvel lore, but let's not be dense: it's far more explicit and adult-oriented than the material from which it was derived, material with a decades-long tradition of all-ages roots. I mean, Bugs Bunny could piss in Elmer Fudd's face and it'd be "in character" in the sense that it's ol' Bugs being a prankster, but you'd have to be a special kind of slow not to sense that something is amiss. You see what I'm saying? But look, I'm not feeling the crusader vibe on this topic today. I've made my peace with the Ultimates, and besides, Loeb and Sale are gonna kill it in a year or two anyway. It's all good. I don't think anyone's going to hell for enjoying it, I'm just going to say "swanky!" when it's gone.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 1:20 a.m. CST

    nice dave

    by blackthought

    i'll probably be there when ultimates vanishes...i won't shed too many tears really. hulk eats folks? hulk the cannibal...nice...er...and i perfer to consider bugs a trickster archtype then a prankster...oh semantics...well my animation teachers do anyway. speaking of that...for the love of will eisner...anyone wanna do my work? oh, no takers...thanks. and if i narrowed down this whole fav character thing to just the x-universe, i'd be like um, cyclops (yeah...i think the guy rocks), nightcrawler, my mom..er..sleep....

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 1:25 a.m. CST

    oh

    by blackthought

    dave...if you could have editorial powers for marvel and dc, what would you change right now? where would you guide them...if marvel gave you power over the ultimates uni and stuff, what would you do? absolve em? what characters would you tinker...or if dc gave you that power for crisis? even though i'm actually enjoying a nice portion of things about crisis...i.e...villains united. while HOM i find to be a lil light weight and without much of anything really though there has been flashes of goodness, like this one-shot of black panther...oh...sabertooth...and vale...we got to beat urugauy or at least draw with em to hold onto our spot.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 1:28 a.m. CST

    anyone

    by blackthought

    know the lastest word on the rintintitntitintitin movie? that might of been too many tins but whatever...and james marsden's preacher...any word on that?

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 1:32 a.m. CST

    for the hell of it

    by blackthought

    elfquest directed by michael bay. and moviemack: the adventures of batman hatin' directed by tim story and written by uwe boll. and re-emit buzz into the asshole circle.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 1:39 a.m. CST

    That homosexual Marsden couldn't pull off a Jesse Custer

    by El Vale

    Know who'd play a great Jesse Custer? Josh Halloway from Lost. And Blackthought, i'm pretty sure the same thing that happened 4 years ago's gonna happen now. Someone's gonna pay someone to keep us out and uruguay in. You know it brotha!

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 4:18 a.m. CST

    I don't know if Marsden is gay, but that's not why he ca

    by SleazyG.

    It's cuz he's a crap actor. Get somebody who has the stones to sell the character and we're good, but Marsden just doesn't have the cojones. There are gay guys with more cojones and straight guys with less, so it's not about that: he just doesn't have the chops.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 4:22 a.m. CST

    Sorry, Dave...Batman didn't kill in DKR.

    by SleazyG.

    He opened up on a whole shitload of people with machine guns all over the damned place, sure. But if memory serves, they explained it all away as Bruce using rubber bullets for crowd control. I could be wrong here, since I haven't reread the thing since about '91 (even then it struck me as incredibly shallow and childish). The way I remember it, though, Bruce doesn't kill anybody, cuz even as an old fart who watched the Joker's toll rise into the thousands, "it'd be *wrong*."

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 4:26 a.m. CST

    Dave, the first ULTIMATES creative team leak was at Wizard World

    by SleazyG.

    ...when Quesada, Loeb and Mad said they couldn't tell us anything at all about what book they were writing cuz Wizard had an exclusive (yeah, they got *that* for free). They said they couldn't tell us what characters were involved or anything, but they showed us a Joe Mad sketch (which SUCKED, BTW) with Hulk, Wolvie and I think maybe Spidey. Everybody speculated immediately it was ULTIMATES, but they wouldn't admit it. Oh, and another thing: it's not that the ULTIMATES fans are such a tough crowd--it's that the new creative team sucks balls. Loeb has written nothing but garbage for the last few years and nobody could even name the last major property Joey Mad was on. And no, BATTLECHASERS doesn't count, since it put out eight issues in three years and looked like shit. The problem isn't that they have big shoes to fill, the problem is they're not wearing any socks.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 7:48 a.m. CST

    SleazyG...

    by rev_skarekroe

    The rubber bullets thing was from "Batman: The Cult". In DKR, he shoots the guy who's holding the little kid hostage with a machine gun. The exchange goes something like this: MUTANT: I'll kill the kid man, believe me! MACHINE GUN SFX: budda!! BATMAN: I believe you.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 8:34 a.m. CST

    you both are right.

    by Shigeru

    Bats used rubber bullets on the mutant gang in the junkyard, and a real machine gun (taken from one of the goons) on the hostage holder. But did the mutant die? Does it matter??? I liked that Wizard article from last month with all those old funny Batman panels...tho am I getting fooled, are those fake?? Quiet or papa spank!

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 8:58 a.m. CST

    a comment on Ambush Bug's post WAY up there...

    by Shigeru

    sorry man, but PUH-LEASE. Stories just aren't like they used to write 'em? This whole schtick is into the realm of self-parody now. You don't think some fan reaction to Dark Phoenix or Days of Future Past was "Claremont is just writing shock for shock's sake! He's not respecting the characters!" ? I garuntee that was a lot of fan reaction. (reminds me of those parts in Wha Huh?-- what if the internet existed in.....) I can't comment on the Gwen Stacy thing since I don't read that book, but your other 2 examples weren't shocking to me in the least. Say you don't like the stories or the way they are being told, fine.... but I think it takes fairly massive cajones to question writers' INTENT. Your point is valid in a couple of instances, but for the most part I think it's fairly insulting. Comics are such a new medium, and characters invented by Stan & Jack & Steve are not static beings frozen in time, only allowed to be touched by their original creators or those who promise to emulate them.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Cap and Supe

    by sideshowbob

    I always thought Ultimate Cap and all his face-kicking glory was a direct response to the pussification of so many superheroes. And since his behavior can be related to the Iraq strike and Abu Gharib and whatnot, so much the better for Millar. The current administration has been selling the strike hard and fast and who gives a crap what anyone else says attitude for 5 years now (unless an apocalpytic hurricane comes down on a major city, then it's OK to play golf for a few more days).

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 10:08 a.m. CST

    I also have always despised Liefeld's Art

    by Heffaloo

    I can't remember ever liking anything he has produced, and I blame him for the death of the New Mutants (even though he's not responsible for Bird Boy).

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 10:13 a.m. CST

    Yeah, Sleazy, Batman capped a mutant to save a kid.

    by Dave_F

    Always looked like a pretty definitive kill to me, what with the exit wounds on the mutant 'banger. What I'm saying is: sit yer ass down. Oh, and about the rubber bullets thing in DKR: I was never sure whether they were really supposed to be rubber bullets or not. If memory serves Bruce says that they are in his naration, then adds in a standalone caption: "Honest." I always took that to be an ironic wink at the reader, as if he was saying "yeah, RIGHT!" and that the days of rubber bullets were long gone. Anyone else get that sense? The only person Batman seemed overtly unable to kill when necessary in DKR was the Joker, and his reasons I believe are open to interpretation. I remember Joker mocks him for being unable to finish him off, but that could be the whole love/hate of an arch nemesis thing rather than the whole "it'd be wrong" thing. In fact, I got that distinct impression: Batman in DKR could kill, he just couldn't bring himself to kill his oldest foe. As for the book being shallow, been a while since I read it, but I never walked away with that impression. As macho as it all seems to be, Miller also spotlights the young psychos who emulate Batman in all the wrong ways, basically going from dangerous crooks to dangerous vigilantes. He shows a Batman who lays into his foes with supreme vengeance, but whose final scene with Two-Face, nebulous though the silhouettes may be, appears to be an embrace. I guess that final panel could be read as him *killing* Harvey if you like, but Batman's narration in those last panels suggests sympathy and identification with Two-Face: "I see...a reflection, Harvey. A reflection." How'd you guys interpret the moment? And, of course, there's Batman's complex relationship with Superman: friends, foes, reluctant allies. No, Sleazy, I don't buy the allegations that it's "incredibly shallow and childish." Subtle it ain't, and maybe it's a far cry from WATCHMEN's league, but childish? Nope. The story has too many new ideas, too many moments of humanity, too many intentional subversions of its own macho badassery, to write off so easily.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Shigeru, those Batman panels are fuh real.

    by Dave_F

    My older bro had a giant-sized treasury reprint of BATMAN #1 that I read till it fell apart when I was a kid, and it's got the infamous "papa spank" line in it. Old comics are a hoot. So many of them are just sort of crude relics, but there are all sorts of interesting rewards to be had in reading 'em, not the least of which is tapping into the culture of the time. The spanking thing? A bizarrely pervy reference that was simply a recurring gag at the time, popping up in plenty of movies too. I'm blanking on the exact movie I remember it from specifically, but it was probably IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT, with Clark Gable either threatening to or actually spanking Claudette Colbert. The idea itself is hideously misogynistic: if a woman in those days frustrated you, hey, maybe she just needs to be treated like a naughty child while you get the pseudo-sexual pleasure of smacking her ass. But in practice, at least in popular entertainment (I like to think it didn't so much happen in real life), it was always just a tongue-in-cheek gag. Anyway, just overanalyzing. It was a funny panel to reprint, but I have a knee-jerk dislike of spoofing the old days without any context (see also, VH-1's "I Love the '80s", et al.). I'm a little afraid of a generation whose only understanding of the idiosyncrasies of the past is through sneering humor. Yes...even when it comes to comics.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 10:42 a.m. CST

    I prefer to not think of the Ultimates as versions of the actual

    by mortsleam

    But rather as a very wrong-headed decision to recreate the Avengers using Super-Patriot, Tower, Abomination, Crimson Dynamo, Thumbelina and, uhm, some crazy hippie who thinks he's Swedish.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 10:46 a.m. CST

    DKR

    by mortsleam

    Maybe Batman just objected to the execution of the mentally unfit? Ya know, not guilty by reason of insanity, cruel and unusual punishment, Texans are batshit crazy killfreaks who waste retards and all that. Pretty thorny issue there.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Um, the Wonder Woman killing was billed as the event that would

    by superhero

    The whole Wonder Woman "event" was supposed to BE the thing that creates a rift between the big three. Yeah, I got it, I just don't BUY it. I'm glad that Istalkcheap is able to accept with blind ambivalence whatever DC comics spoon feeds him but I just don't buy that Wonder Woman's killing in a dire circumstance would be what splits them up. I mean, how much have these characters been through together and Superman has a hissyfit because she killed to save his life? I seem to remember a recent arc in Superman or Action Comics where Superman and Wonder Woman were trapped in an alien dimension together for several years which solidified their friendship even further. It was even insinuated that it might have developed into something more but Superman knew he would find his way home eventually and didn't want to cheat on Lois. When they got back to Earth little to no real time had passed at all. My point being that these two characters know each other VERY well so Istalkcheap's whole justification of maybe they don't know each other as well as they think doesn't fly. It's a lame copout for some of what's happening in DC's books right now. If anything, I'd think that Batman's building of a spy satellite would be enough to create distrust among the whole league, not just between Supes and Wondy. Oh, yeah, and the fact that Zatanna mindwiped Batman too, that helped build some distrust too... :O) Not to mention that this is the SECOND time Batman's done this sort of thing and it's just gotten the League into more trouble. I really just don't understand why ANY of the DC Heroes give two shits about getting Batman's respect. He's completely paranoid and an asshole to boot. Oh, and Bats DID perfolate a gang member with a machine gun in Dark Knight returns while rescuing a kidnapped child. Took his ass out without thinking twice about it. I remember that so vividly because it was the one event in the book that all the kids in high school couldn't believe happened when they saw it in the book. It was like, "Holy shit! Batman DID that?"

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 11:07 a.m. CST

    I meant "perforate a gang member"...

    by superhero

    My typing sucks... :O)

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Dave_F/El Vale

    by JimiChanga

    Dave, I know this has been covered but I just wanted to add to the discussion of Ultimate Hulk a few posts up: Millar actually covered this in Ult. Vol. 2, during Banner's trial. The prosecutor's basic argument is, if someone takes a bunch of drugs and then kills someone, are they any less responsible? If someone drives drunk, are they not to be blamed for the destruction they cause? While I agree with you that Banner (or Banner's morality) does not control the Hulk, he still made the decision to take a the end result of a military experiment in public with no safeguards in place. To me, it's like if Oppenheimer had been having a bad day and decided to try out the Manhattan Project IN MANHATTAN. I don't see Banner as a murderer per se, but more of a mass-manslaughterer. I guess I just don't have a lot of sympathy for people who make bad choices and screw up big-time. On the Ultimates in general: I don't see their existence as something that tarnishes the established characters. The whole Ultimate Universe is basically a big "What if?" I think it's interesting to see a writer take certain characteristics of an established hero's personality and extrapolate on them. For example, take Captain America. Cap is a soldier, that's part of his origin. I think Ultimate Cap acts more like a soldier than the Cap in the regular universe. Don't get me wrong, I like them both. For me, the Ultimate Universe is just a way of having my cake and eating it too. God, I hate that expression. Finally, El Vale - I couldn't agree with you more on the Marsden as Custer thing. I don't have anything against Marsden, I think it makes an okay Cyclops, but he's NOT Jesse Custer. One of the worst casting decisions I've seen since Keanu Reeves as Contantine (and for the record, I actually like a few of Keanu's movies; his John Constantine just didn't seem to have any relation to the one I've read about in the comics). Josh Holloway would make an interesting Custer. I feel like he could nail the personality pretty well, but to me he doesn't have the right look. But when it comes down to it, I'd rather the actor really get who the character is rather than look like they walked off the comics page.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 1:37 p.m. CST

    "That Homosexual Marsden"??? Time For El To Get Called Out For S

    by Buzz Maverik

    You're a really good poster here, El, but this homophobia crap can't be overlooked. What do you care who some movie star sleeps with? You know that movie you like, starring that guy you think is cool? Do you know what he does in his off hours? Is it going to make you gay because you see him movie? You don't like movies with gay people involved? Then you'll have to quit seeing movies. Or listening to music. Or reading a lot of books. Or watching television. Or, yes, even reading comics.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 2:03 p.m. CST

    some cool new Walking Dead pages over at CBR...

    by Shigeru

    BJ's aplenty! And those covers...new survivors? sweet!

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Buzz, i'm sorry you took it that way

    by El Vale

    I wasn't implying Marsden sleeps with men, i'm pretty sure the guy's straight. And if he isn't i haven't heard the gossip. What i meant was the guy's not man enough to play the reverend Jesse Custer. No worries, i aint either! I was saying it like those two kids in South Park who say everything is gay? Like that. ***And i've been thinking about this Josh Holloway thing ever since the first episose of Lost in which he showed some range and emotion. I thought ok so this guy's southern and, you know, tough and he can act...cut his hair and dye it black, put some lenses the color of poopie in him and you've got a better Custer than Cyclops. Could work

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 2:12 p.m. CST

    I actually said I liked some of Infinite Crisis...

    by superhero

    But I guess reading isn't really what you're good at is it Istalkcheap? Reading is fundamental. Try it and you'll see. And I guess one good hissyfit deserves another,eh? What good are internet comic sites for if not to throw a good ol' fashioned hissyfit every once in a while... :O)

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 2:12 p.m. CST

    somehow, vale...

    by Shigeru

    I don't think Buzz is gonna be any happier that you used it as "just" a derogatory bit of slang, either. I don't really agree with using it that way either...in principle...but I call things "gay" all the time, so I can't really talk.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 3:56 p.m. CST

    oh cyclops

    by blackthought

    so poorly characterized in the x-films, i weap.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Well actually...it's Countdown to Infinite Crisis...Identity

    by superhero

    Who needs help with their reading comprehension now, huh? HUH? :O)

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 4:53 p.m. CST

    IsTalkCheap and Superhero

    by El Vale

    One of these days you're gonna have to stop acting like kids and realize you're in love with eachother

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 5:16 p.m. CST

    El Vale

    by Gus Nukem

    One's sexual identity, orientation and behaviour are his own matters and definitely not things to apologize or be ashamed for. Thus, using homosexuality as a derogatory term is unacceptable. *** Am I understood, BROTHER ?

  • I feel like Moviemack now. I'm sorry if i touched a nerve or something and insulted anyone. I sincerely apologize and you can believe me when i say this incident will not repeat itself. *** Don't call me brother, please.

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 6:08 p.m. CST

    Is it true Joss Whedon just brought Cassandra Nova back?

    by El Vale

    Wasn't Cassandra supposed to be that creepy little girl from the Riot at Xavier's storyline?

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 6:52 p.m. CST

    A fag is a fag is a fag....

    by Psynapse

    Marsden is a VERY faggy actor and before you descend on me like flies on offal understand that I am a genuine 100% pole smoking homo myself. I have been queer all the years of my life and still use the term 'gay' as a derogatory whenever I feel like. Political correctness is social fascism hiding under a different outfit, folks. So say it how you feel it Vale, not all of us are so thin-skinned. :)(And if you don't see that some queers ARE fags then you're really not looking.) And Buzz? Don't be such a FAG, man.....

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 6:55 p.m. CST

    seriously lighten up guys

    by Darth Kal-El

    speaking as someone who has gay friends who use the term fag and say something is gay to mean lame i think a big deal is being made over nothing. vale made a remark about his opinion of an actor.he didnt gay bash anyone nor do i belive he would.other than that great posts and discussions going on.ive had the week from hell topped off with a huge gut punch of a revelation about my life this morning and through all the bullshit when i pop in here and listen to u guys going on about superman and wonder woman or who would play who in the preacher movie and even jumpin on vale for being a homophobe i can just smile if only for a brief minute in this shitstorm im dealing with.thanks @$$es and cogs

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 6:58 p.m. CST

    thanks for backing up what i posted psynapse

    by Darth Kal-El

    ive smoked tons of weed but never any pole.i do have tuna taco as often as i can get it tho

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 9:30 p.m. CST

    Psynapse and Darth...i heart you

    by El Vale

    I wanted to say something to that effect but those assholes sounded so serious i thought maybe they'd ban me or something. Darth, what happened buddy? Can you share?

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 10:26 p.m. CST

    whoa...

    by blackthought

    this whole "gay" thing stems from me just wondering if there was any word on the preacher adaptation starring marsden...and el vale responded like a good fellow colombian but used the term gay...i understand the various reactions though. i got gay friends and i use the word "gay" sometimes to signify lame and they don't seem bothered by it, if they were i'd apologize and let em know i meant know harm...either way y'all shouldn't be dumping on el vale so harshly...anyway...anyone read that sweet ish of the black panthe HOM tie-in? anyway i'd like to see cerebus animated or something and darth, tuna tacos...good stuff...especially at petco park during padres game...errr...

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Questions about the OMAC's

    by astronato

    I haven't been buying the OMAC mini so I'm wondering, do the OMACs themselves have psychic ability? Is it possible the OMACs are still manipulating Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman and that is how it will eventually be explained that they are acting out of character?

  • Sept. 2, 2005, 10:42 p.m. CST

    Kirby's OMAC

    by astronato

    I only have two issues of the original OMAC and they are in a box somewhere in my attic. I havent read them in 20 years. Did the OMACs in the original books have psychic ability?

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 2:40 a.m. CST

    Calling lame people homosexuals: a very colombian thing

    by El Vale

    This is how i prolly would've said that thing i said about Marsden in spanish: Ese man es cule homosexual. Could say "cule gay" but homosexual is more of a mouthful, it just plain sounds cooler. Blackthought, you've been pimping the hell out of Black Panther HoM, and trust me...if i could i'd go out and buy it. And then i'd say "Whoa dude that was awesome! Thanks".

  • It's a tough question, though. I guess you could say the black community's had some success in co-opting "the n-word," but how definitive is that success? The n-word's still in common use as an epithet, still carries enough potency that folks *call* it the n-word, still acts as a flashpoint for racial tension. And in a strange way, I almost think using "gay" as a negative is worse than the n-word. Although some uses of the n-word have it as the flipside to "white trash", at its simplest, it's just a crass descriptor used in place of "black." But if it were in common use as a generic means of putting something down? Ugh. "So Liefeld is drawing the next two issues of TEEN TITANS? That's so NIGGER." How...how on earth could that not ultimately inflame, bolster the beliefs of racists, and work as not-so-subtle assault on black self-esteem? I guess it's at least made its way into one term - "nigger rig" - and surely that's as ugly a phrase as can be found. Psynapse, if you look at the similar use of "gay" objectively, can you honestly say it doesn't have this effect? I ask the question sincerely, not accusatively, because I just don't see how it could be otherwise. Maybe the gay community's just been so crapped on for centuries that one more assault on it hardly matters. But words have power. And I'd like to believe the theory that racial epithets can be robbed of their power when they're absorbed into the pop culture, adopted by their targets, etc., but in practice, I'm just not seeing the victories. I manage a comic shop, and every once in a while I'll see some kids flipping through a comic, one of 'em snarking, "Man, that's so GAY," and there ain't shit that's empowering about that. These are little kids (early teens, give or take), easily influenced and carrying little understanding of the varieties of linguistic context, and all they know is that "gay" equates with "lame." And sadly, so many people don't end up maturing much beyond their formative childhood years. People *in general* just aren't particularly great at evolving. And that's why I hate the casual approach to "gay = lame" - because I think most folks take the connection at face value and lack the sophistication to pick up on nuances of its use. And, again, my gut reaction is that even for those who understand context, there's surely a subconscious level at which "gay=lame" chips away at self-esteem and/or one's general sense of humanity.

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Who's Who: X-Men and OMACS (SPOILERS)

    by hamgravy

    Hey astronato, the current incarnation of OMACs are portrayed as supercomputer battle armor that has been installed in over a million unsuspecting citizens. When it materializes, it is a learning program with a seemingly endless array of powers programmed to counter existing super-threats. But no, psychic abilities are not one of them. They are, however, supergay. (SPOILERS) On the X-Men front Cassandra Nova appears to be back, along with a bunch of Hellfire Club members. They're the ones that have been behind Emma's actions for the last few arcs. Can anyone tell me who the feathery-looking goth chick is? What's her deal?

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Ain't It Gay News

    by hamgravy

    So I work with a bunch of South Americans and I realize how loose they are with language. Gay, fatty, skinny, negro all get thrown around even as casual terms of affection based on a person's appearance and demeanor. It's not just a derogatory mall-kid "That's Gay!" put-down. But c'mon, on a website that's inundated with openly racist and homophobic sentiments I think it's reasonable to accept that the language does offend people and is loaded with hatred even if it wasn't intended that way. I've seen attacks on this site against the entire Superman Returns team (including Marsden) because of their sexual orientation. Enough already, and will someone tell me who the Goth villain is with the Hellfire Club at the end of Astonishing? I want links, powers, appearances. Chop-chop.

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 11:32 a.m. CST

    valid points by all...

    by blackthought

    now can we get back to comic book related issues yet?

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 12:31 p.m. CST

    That Goth Chick at the end of ASTONISHING...

    by Ambush Bug

    NOw, I'm not sure (I dropped most of the other books and don't know how Extreme X-Men finished up), but the Goth chick looks to be Tessa, one of the original members of the Hellfire Club alongside Emma Frost adn Sebastian Shaw. Tessa was supposed to be a spy sent by Xavier to infiltrate the Club and only recently worked actively alongside the X-Men. But she does fit the Goth Chick bill. The big question is who is the red hooded character in the back. Magneto? Too obvious.

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 2:24 p.m. CST

    South

    by El Vale

    Spanish word for Black: Negro - Spanish word for Nigger: Negro...i don't know exactly what that means but i do know i like it

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Psynapse

    by Buzz Maverik

    Sounds like you're trying very hard to have a thick skin. Having a thick skin is just another way of playing nice. Playing nice is for suckers.

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Goth Villain Identity

    by hamgravy

    Just found it on another site. In case anyone's interested she is "the previously very dead Negasonic Teenage Warhead, last seen alive all the way back in NXM 115, and as a glass-impaled corpse in Emma's arms in 116." Red Hood? Maybe Madelyne Pryor, maybe Mastermind. Could be interesting.

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 3:50 p.m. CST

    when do we find out?

    by blackthought

    who is who from whedon's run on astonishing...how long is the hiatus? under the red hood is...um...hopefully not jean grey...cuz this would be here umteenth resurection.

  • Sept. 3, 2005, 11:07 p.m. CST

    just what everyone wanted, another homo weighing in.

    by Homer Sexual

    Like MLK, I long for the day when admitting oneself to be gay doesn't immediately override everything else someone has thought of me up to that point. I suppose I can live with James Marsden being too gay to play Preacher because that is true. He is too gay to play such an uber-hetero character. As far as being cool with everything lame being labeled as "gay," I have to say I don't much like it. But yeah, whatchu gonna do? Get a thick skin, I suppose.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 12:45 a.m. CST

    true

    by blackthought

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 4:42 a.m. CST

    Aside From Cyclops, Which Was A Poor Depiction, All I Know About

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...is that when Mrs. Buzz dragged me to see THE NOTEBOOK, I thought they were going to pull a switcheroo and have the Marsden character grow up to be James Garner, because he looks more like James Garner than the guy who played the young Garner, who looks like David Arquette. See, this all proves my point that I've been saying for years, I should have directed X-MEN instead of Bryan Singer. Now, given what's been going on in this talkback, I know what you're all thinking about Mr. Singer and you're right ... never did anything original in his life. His Cyclops existed to make Wolverine look cool. His was Opie Cunningham to Jackman's The Fonz. Instead of HAPPY DAYS, he should have used FROM HERE TO ETERNITY as the model. Cyclops should have been Burt Lancaster, as the hardass but cool sergeant, to Wolverine as Montgomery Cliff. Montgomery Cliff was gay, but the way. And I don't mean he was lame because he was wasn't. He was a great actor. Go rent RED RIVER. Cyclops should have been Sean Penn's sergeant to Jim Caviezel's deserting private for Wolverine in THE THIN RED LINE. These were supposed to be the same characters that Lancaster and Cliff played in FHTE, but novelist James Jones realized that killing off the Cliff character would have more impact in the end. Let me sum this up by listing the candidates for PREACHER: James Marsden, James Garner, Ryan Gosling, David Arquette, Ron Howard, Hugh Jackman, Henry Winkler, Burt Lancaster, Montgomery Cliff, Sean Penn and Jim Caviezel. Now, I can't vouch for the sexual orientation of any of these actors, except that we're pretty sure about Mr. Cliff, who is out of the running due to being dead for several decades. If I were directing and had cast approval, as I really should, I'd try to get Penn but I'm sure he'd say, "I'm not doing a fucking comic book movie."

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 11:10 a.m. CST

    Omigod Buzz..put down the Red Bull

    by Psynapse

    Dude seriously, you need to lighten up. Anyone that knows me in RL knows that the very LAST thing I do is play nice. You're making a mountain out of a mole hill and EVERYONE here on your side of the fence is failing to see that it is just as bad to live in world where you absolutely cannot day anything derogatory as it is to live in one where they are endorsed without restraint. But then I suppose it makes you sleep better to maintain such a PC 'holier than thou' attitude towards anyone who doesn't behave just as you do. Wake up and see the landscape as it really is. In modern day america this word 'Gay' has MULTIPLE meanings to MULIPLE people. Making it an 'us' or 'them' situation belittles everyone involved. Lighten the fuck up, jeez. (oh and one other thing, unless you are gay or black you reaaly would have no true perspective on what co-opting those terms means.)What a bunch of fags....

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Hamgravy, thank you for the info on the OMAC's

    by astronato

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 11:42 a.m. CST

    good job on the reviews this week folks

    by astronato

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Day of Vengeance

    by astronato

    This is a good book that makes excellent use of DC's many magical (and often marginal) characters. I think the Professor has it right, these characters though great may not be able to sustain a monthly title on their own. If Shadowpact does get it's own book and it fails, I think these characters may well be put back on the shelf. Mini series and one shots for characters like Detective Chimp, Nightshade, Enchantress, Phantom Stranger and the rest would be great but I would prefer a Spectre or Dr Fate book that made use of the Shadowpact members and other denizens of the Oblivion Bar. Also dead on was the description of Captain Marvels look in DOV. He didn't look his best. Good review.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Fantastic Four

    by astronato

    Good review but I humbly disagree. I'm sure I sound like a broken record but I am a recently returning lapsed fan and these past five or six issues of FF are my first since 1989 or 90. That's my perspective. To me the FF is all about alien invasions and the like. Having not read this book in such a long time another alien invasion sounds good to me. I don't think that introducing the idea that the original cosmic rays that gave the FF their powers was a message from an alien race is rewriting FF lore. To me it doesnt subtract from the mythos it adds to it. Straczynski has the characterizations down. I like that Ben Grimm is now bankrolling the team. Reed got to be an action hero. The art is good and I think the child welfare angle is leading to the FF leaving the New York, perhaps for space. A Fantastic Four space station would be interesting and a change of location could be good. It's still early in the run to tell how good this will be but for now I'm liking the build up. Can someone please tell me about Reed and Sues daughter? I missed all of that.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 1:12 p.m. CST

    you know

    by blackthought

    if we really get super PC we shouldn't allow the use of the word bad. the word bad s eptimology or birth of the the term was originally as a derogatory meaning aimed towards homosexuals. if we are going to voice are concerns on the word "gay", we might as well do the same for bad so we can cover them all. ahhhhh, the joys of language. anyway anyhow...i can see the arguments made on both sides but i'd like to talk about those neat books we all love in one form or another with them pictures and word balloons...oh and paper. haven't questions been bothering you as they have i?...questions like...am i the next rob liefeld? if so, then i'm going to be rich but not too great an artisan. anyway how has everyone's holiday/non-holiday depending where you are weekends going?

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Legion of Superheroes

    by astronato

    I'm just in a comic book liking mood I guess because I am liking this book too. Back in the day, I only had so much money to spend on comics and I had my own criteria for what type of books I bought. I chose Teen Titans over the Legion as my one DC teenage team book. I'm fairly familiar with the Legion in its previous incarnations but this is my first time collecting it. From the first issue on I think Waid has done a good job of reintroducing and defining each character. Every issue has a page where each character's name, homeworld and powers are described. That's smart for a book with so many characters. There have been short two page stories included in some of the issues which is a nice touch. The letters page is a lot of fun. A youth movement that tries to change the world (or universe) for the better is a complete fantasy but it's a good one and this old geezer is enjoying it. I have the LOS archive books on my x-mas wishlist but so are hundred of other things. What are the best LOS stories? What should I track down first?

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Superman and Batman

    by astronato

    Good review for both issues. I have been getting these books plus Detective and Action comics. I like the idea of creating tension and distance between DC's trinity of heroes for a change of pace. Is it that DC is conveniently forgetting about Supermans past dealings/issues with death and killing in order to pull off the tension angle or is Superman acting out of character part of the story? There is an abundance of villians with extra sensory/ telepathic powers floating around the books, there was Maxwell Lord, Despero in JLA, Dr Psycho in VU and Action comics. Hector Hammond is back in Green Lantern. If part of the Infinite Crisis build up is about the Villains of the DCU uniting under Lex Luthor, is it possible that those pyschic powered villains in unison for the first time have been causing or helping cause friction between the big three? I would think dividing Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman would be the first thing a super villain team would try to do. Maybe Superman being out of character is a swerve? We think he is no longer being influenced telepathically but maybe he is. I dunno enough to say, I'm just askin'

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Banana Sunday

    by astronato

    I'm getting the kids in my family Uncle Scrooge, Archie and some of the DC Kids books. I am always looking for something new for them. Is Banana Sunday a kids book? Also, is Patrick the Wolfboy a kids book?

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 2:37 p.m. CST

    It Doesn't Insult Me To Call Me A Fag, Psynapse.

    by Buzz Maverik

    Calling me a self-hating gay guy would insult me. Like, if I were gay, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be bashing myself before someone else could or to show that it didn't bother me. I probably wouldn't come on a website and call myself a bunch of derogatory names, but, hey, that's just me if I was gay. And seriously, for just a second, aren't we all gay? And straight? Biology and pyschology has pretty much proven that sexual orientation is a matter of degree and it's all where our, uh, needle is set. Mine is on eleven, by the way, which is one louder. As in most stupid talkbacks, the original post that gets everyone butt in a bunch is always forgotten. Even on those cooler message boards where you can quote the other guy. Vale here is one of our best new talkbackers and I feel is keeping this board intelligent, interesting and unique. But he's from out of town. My impression is that he thought saying, "That homosexual Marsden..." was the equivalent of saying "Roller disco sure is gay!" He mentioned SOUTH PARK. This is the kind of problem with pop culture falling into the hands of someone from another culture. Hell, our own stupid culture isn't much better. Cartman and the boys are construction paper cartoons intended for humor. They are supposed to be 9 years old, living in a semi-redneck town. BTW, each state has lots of redneck areas, not just the South. I know. I live in a town so stupid it has seven tattoo parlors, no bookstore, no CD store and not even a comic shop. The advantages are cheap rent and no one calls the cops when I tell the neighbor behind me that I know he's cooking meth again and he has until sundown to get out of town. But I digress, as I'm wont to do. So the South Park kids call everything "gay". So mall kids call everything "gay". I was a mall kid...except that occasionally, I'd sneak into the bookstore and actually buy things. Guess what? Most mall kids don't have enough brains to wipe properly. In modern America, everybody wants to go around talking like people who don't have enough brains or experience or education to wipe properly. Going along with it IS playing nice. It's part to the whole "don't take it personally" crap that has plagued us for about 20 years. If something doesn't bother me, I'm teflon. But if it bothers me, I take it personally. Finally, we can't really know if someone else has a true perspective or not about things, can we? If I were PC, as you think I am, instead of just being right, I'd say, "Oooo, I can't know your pain." Maybe I can. I do know that I'm not going to lighten up, because I don't lighten up. If there's something you can't face or hide from by calling yourself names, that has nothing to do with what I'm doing here. Because I'm not going to stand by with my mouth shut (or I guess in this case with my fingers idle) while people are being denigrated, intentionally or not. You don't like it? Why do you think I'd care? Did anyone read Vroom's article about Raven Gregory and THE GIFT? I don't know if Vroom really got maced in middle school or if he was just kidding (I suspect the latter) but Vroom is a friend of mine and if I'd been going to middle school with him, all he would have had to do is say, "Hey, Buzz!" and I'd have had his back. Unless the dude or dudes were bigger, tougher or greater in number in which case we would have resorted to stealth, cunning and evil. So, that's me. Buzz Maverik. I don't just read superhero comics. I go around thinking I am superhero. Except I wear boxers outside my pants instead of briefs because of where I fall on the sexual orientation scale.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Vroom, The Reason I Didn't Have Your Back In 8th Grade...

    by Buzz Maverik

    ...is because I was 24 years old at the time and going to different middle school.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 2:55 p.m. CST

    King Arthur vs Dracula

    by astronato

    My store sold out of issue one before I could get it and this review only makes me want it more. I've read there is a sequel planned as Dracula vs Al Capone. I can't wait for that. How about Dracula vs Blackbeard or Dracula vs Hitler? Dracula vs Yojimbo,Dracula vs El Santo or Dracula vs Sherlock Holmes? How about Dracula vs the Pope? :) the costumes alone would be eye candy enough for me to buy it. Thanks for the review.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Are Some Actors Too Straight For Roles?

    by Buzz Maverik

    Those of you who attended some college (online education doesn't count here)...ever spend any time in the theatre arts department? I did because I was preparing to get thrown out of production offices when my "film career" started. The guys in that department are... shall we say, experimental at the least. They fell all across the gay/straight spectrum, from what I could see. It seems to be that way in every drama department across the country, right? So wouldn't it stand to reason that many of our actors have been to Paris from both directions? So when you see a guy on screen, you don't really know him. If Mr. Marsden is in fact "too gay" to play Preacher, what about some of the actors who have played gay characters? Matt Damon seems straight. He's reportedly pooched Minnie Driver, Winona Ryder, Claire Danes and lots of less famous women. Was he too straight for THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY? Jason Lee, one of my favorite actors, was a pro skateboader. Skateboarders appear to be a hetero bunch. He's been married a couple of times. Too straight for his role in CHASING AMY? Colin Ferrell has reportedly been in more vaginas that Kotex and I think was the Grand Marshall in last year's Straight Pride Parade ("We're straight! No debate!" okay, so our chant isn't as cool). He played world conqueoring bisexual ALEXANDER. A BEAUTIFUL MIND ignored the main character's bisexuality, but who wants to question Russell Crowes preference to his face. You'll get a phone in yer skull, man. Let's see, before the list goes on forever: Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Bacon and Joe Pesci in JFK. Leonardo may also play Alexander and I think he's being inducted into the Heterosexual Hall of Fame This Year. You guys come up with your own lists.

  • I dropped the South Park reference to give you an example of what i meant. But you know, those ass backwards south americans, they get their dirty hands on some South Park and they start calling everything gay! No, i've been calling lame stuff gay longer than i've been downloading South Park episodes i can asure you that, so don't flatter yourself, gringo. My take on all this "tolerance" thing is, sexuality, when distilled down to its defining factors, is merely a genital matter. It's what you decide to do with your penis/vagina/anal cavity. So, when dismissing the melodramatics and the "life choices" and all that crap...it's not that big a deal. Like i said, what people do with their genitals is non of my business, nor is it really as important as people make it out to be. But then again, i don't live in a country were radicals picket gay people's funerals, so i guess we have other issues.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 3:19 p.m. CST

    Liam Neeson fucked a lot of guys in Kinsey

    by El Vale

    He was one of the slices of bread in a guy sandwich in one scene. Great movie by the way.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 3:20 p.m. CST

    bullying

    by astronato

    I have never understood why bullying and stalking is so acceptable to society when the tormentors are in high school but immediately after graduation those same actions could have you fired, arrested and thrown in jail. I understand that "criminalizing the youth" is something that needs to be watched but assaults, tormenting and stalking in high school should be treated like the crimes that they are. High school is like Lord of the Flies for some kids. If you had to go to work everyday and were tormented by a coworker while your boss took a "boys will be boys" attitude about it you'd quit, sue and/or go postal. What do you do when your a kid?

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 4:27 p.m. CST

    I Couldn't Agree More, Astronato.

    by Buzz Maverik

    A buddy of mine had to go pick up his kid at elementary school. The kid was suspended because he hit some other kid back. Back, mind you. I guess everyone, even the kid he hit back, admitted it was self-defense. My buddy said he told the principal if he was walking down the street and some guy punched him, if he was able, of course he'd punch him back. My friend is an attorney and he also told the principal he'd tell his kid not to hit back but that the next time his kid got hit, he was suing the school district. Pretty cool.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Godland and Freedom Force

    by astronato

    I thought issues 1 and 2 were good fun. The second issue was better than the first. It's a cosmic comic done in a Kirbyesque art style which suits the subject matter (which is also right out of Kirby comics). I never notice the inking unless it's really bad but in this book the inking is really good and fits the artwork. The look is retro but the writing has a modern sensibility. The big cosmic villain just wants the ultimate high by feeding off an aliens "cosmic force" and he really enjoys his buzz. If they do more stuff like that and go over the top then I'll keep trying it. Good Stuff. Has anyone played the Freedom Force game or read the comics? Are they good?

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 5:51 p.m. CST

    Manhunter

    by astronato

    I picked up issue 13 because I am a fan of the Goodwin/Simonson version from the 70's (that i read as a kid in the 80's). Anyway, I had read online that this issue referenced Dan Richards and Paul Kirk and it does. My question is whether Dan Richards or Paul Kirks clones are involved in this book other than as a reference point? Are their desendents involved in the story? Any chance they will bring the robot dog back?

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 6:10 p.m. CST

    freedom force

    by blackthought

    is a pretty fun game...haven't read the comic yet though.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Leslie Thomkins - The Hell ?!

    by Gus Nukem

    What is this shit - she let a Robin die, to teach future Robins a lesson ? And Rocket Red committing suicide to take 3 OMACs with him ? The Hell ?! The DCU universe needs a larger dose of Morrison/Waid/Moore (yeah, right!) *** And to think that some of these guys will have executive creative positions on the DCU. *shudder*

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 6:26 p.m. CST

    PUTA VIDA

    by El Vale

    Maldita sea maldito negro hijueputa Zalayeta q se mueran el y su puerca madre malparido hijueputa lo odio los odio a todos uds tambien!!!

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 7:31 p.m. CST

    Babel Fish translation

    by Gus Nukem

    PUTA LIFE: Damn you are damn black hijueputa Zalayeta q also die and the your filthy malparido mother hijueputa it hatred them hatred to all!!! *** The Hell ?! /

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 7:38 p.m. CST

    Translation

    by El Vale

    Uruguay just beat us 3-2 and that negro hijueputa (kinda like saying nigger motherfucker) Zalayeta scored the 3 goals. I'm calmer now.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 7:42 p.m. CST

    The ACTUAL translation

    by El Vale

    FUCKING LIFE: Damn him damn that nigger motherfucker Zalayeta let him and his filthy mother die cocksucking motherfucker i hate him i hate you all as well

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 8:05 p.m. CST

    i'm with you vale!

    by blackthought

    pardon my langauge...but how the fuck does zalayeta score 3 goals? he can't even count to 3...no urugauyan can...vale our defense has been awesome during these qaulyfiers...what the fuck happened? did higuita come out of retirement and play all the positions in the back 4 and forget to tend the goal? jeez...this depresses me...we were in such good shape for the 5th spot to...hi my name is marcelo zalayeta...i play 2 games a year at juventus...i just scored a hat trick...i don't know what that means but i did it...sighs...

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 10:11 p.m. CST

    In the words of Paul Harvey...

    by vroom socko

    And now, it's time for the rest of the story. ****** Okay, tecnically I got sprayed with Binaca in the eyes, but mace was a conveniant shorthand. Besides, chemicals is chemicals. The full story is this: I was bullied by no less than five seperate individuals throughout my eight years of grade school. Two of them ended up going to the same high school as I did. Of those two, one I ended up as somewhat friends, the other continued to be a rude jackass for two years, then ended up apologizing to me in our senior year. I never saw the other three ever again. It was one of those other three that I bumped into during spring break in 1989. I was at the coast when I bumped into said bully, who demanded to know what the fuck I was doing in his town. Like he was a goddamn cowboy or some shit. Enboldened by the fact that we were not in school, and that without the social structure of said environment we were on, I thought, an even footing, I responded by saying, "What? My family has a house down here. Is that a crime?" I then walked on past him into a t-shirt shop. I was in there about 30 seconds when I heard as TSSSHHHHH near my ear, simultaniously feeling unimagined, unholy pain in my right eye. By the time I turned around, he was gone. But I knew who did it. Within a minute there was a cop on the scene, but I didn't want anything to do with him, so I just ran to the nearest public drinking fountain, did my best to rinse out my eye, and stumbled home. When we went back to Portland, my mother, against my wishes, called my school. The bully copped to spraying me and was made to apologise. What's funny is that my mon, my teacher and my principal all said the same thing to me when the first found out; "Why didn't you go back and kick his ass?" Thus proving that none of them understood the sort of power a bully holds over a person. ****** And now you know the rest of the story.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 11:43 p.m. CST

    Blackthought

    by El Vale

    It was like this: We started out ok and when we were playing our best, had like 5 consecutive shots that were very very close to being goals...Cordoba, our fucking best player, fucked up and they scored the first one. Then, when we were trying to do something about it they counter attacked and scored the second. First half ended so, and then they came back and did absolutely nothing for like 30 consecutive minutes. Then all of a sudden, devine intervention or something happened and they clicked, Angel made a great pass to Soto and he scored a fucking goal you couldn't believe. Then, next time we attacked Soto passed it to Angel and he scored. I lost my fucking voice screaming. Then 4 minutes later Zalayeta scored the third one...it was much too late to do anything.

  • Sept. 4, 2005, 11:58 p.m. CST

    He maced you?

    by El Vale

    What a dick! He couldn't kick your ass like a man would do? That's the lamest bully i've ever heard of.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 12:33 a.m. CST

    Like Vroom, Astronauto, and Buzz have said...

    by Dave_F

    High school's a jungle. Well, school in general, I guess. I remember having a problem with some bully-type who used to fuck with me when I was walking home from school in fifth grade. Nothing major - just almost-fights once or twice - but it felt serious enough at that age. In the years after that, miraculously, I somehow managed to avoid bullies. I fit all the victim traits: fat, nerdy, shy, etc., but I had one sort of advantage in that I could draw halfway decently, so some folks who'd like as not have kicked my ass in other circumstances though I was at least a'ight, and occasionally even "cool". I suppose my fascination with comics served me well in that sense - picked up and/or stole some art from 'em, parlayed it into a slightly raised social standing. If I'd only been into Lord of the Rings or Star Trek or whatever, I shudder to think...

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 1:21 a.m. CST

    Astronauto: questions answered

    by Dave_F

    1) Someone already answered your OMAC question, but I noticed you asked about the OMACS of Kirby's original run and just wanted to note that it wasn't a plural thing back then. There was one OMAC only, a geek-type guy living in the future who was transformed into an unstoppable soldier by the satellite "Brother Eye". The new OMACS have a wussy acronym: Observational Meta-human Activity Construct. Old OMAC had a kick-ass acronym: One Man Army Corps! Reminds me of the lame changeover in the S.H.I.E.L.D. acronym back in the '80s, but that's a gripe for another day. Anyway, more OMAC info: http://tinyurl.com/83chz Also, I highly, highly recommend tracking down John Byrne's OMAC series of the early '90s. Was a time-travel adventure that had Kirby's wacked-out vision as one possible future even as it showcased a much darker version. Great black-and-white art with halftones, lots of fine action, swanky time travel concepts, and a strong underlying humanity. ******* About Reed and Sue's daughter, Valeria: for the truly bizarre, originally-intended story on her, check out this Wikipedia article: http://tinyurl.com/akqp9 Short version, though, is that she's supposed to be the daughter Sue would have given birth to had she not miscarried in the classic Byrne FF story, "Small Loss." Through various funky comic book contrivances, she was retroactively saved and so now the FF have two annoying kids instead of just one. This is what is known to most as A Very Stupid Retcon That Fucks Up A Great Story (see also, "Phoenix resurrected!" and "Norman Osborne knocks-up Gwen Stacy!"). ******* Best LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES stories? I was briefly into the whole "Legion scene", and I bought a lot of cheap issues from Paul Levitz's very long run. It's a favorite era for many, spans many many years, and you can sample it by reading the trade, "The Great Darkness Saga" (though I found that arc to be overrated). Levitz's stuff has some '70s-era hokiness to it, but if you like '70s superheroes, you'll likely appreciate the skillful mixture of action and soap operatics. The crazy-ass run that got me *into* the LEGION was also the most controversial run: the Kieth Giffen/Tom & Mary Bierbaum era. Began in the early '90s, maybe late '80s, and was a grim 'n' gritty take on the team (if you can believe it). Sometimes called the "Five Years Later" era, it imagined the Legion well into adulthood (I seem to recall Cosmic Boy actually had a Bruce Willis receding hairline), and a galaxy torn apart by war and a massive economic depression. I can see why some revile it, and it sure was complicated to get into (most of the characters had dropped their codenames in favor of their real ones), but I was totally enamored of the tone, stories, and Giffen's craggy art and futurism. Felt like STAR TREK II or BLADE RUNNER with superheroes. Long story short: I recommend that era as well, but only if you're braced for a LEGION totally unlike any before or since. And for some heavy-duty internet research on all the names. My feeling's that it's very worth the effort. ******* "Is BANANA SUNDAY a kids book?" Yep, pretty much. You can read the first 8 pages in a PDF here: http://tinyurl.com/8gjrk I thought the first few pages were a touch clumsy in execution, with a few points where I couldn't tell exactly what was supposed to be happening, but by the end of the issue it had become one of my favorite new comics of the year. Ultra-cute, occasionally laugh-out-loud funny, and beautifully drawn. ******** Re: PATRICK THE WOLFBOY. Definitely for kids - maybe even quite young kids, if memory serves (sort of a "my first Goth comic" thing) - but I don't know anything else about it. Like whether it's any good. My impression from flipping through it once or twice is: "Eh." ******** About FREEDOM FORCE: haven't gotten around to the sequel yet, but the original game was bloody brilliant. Best team superhero game ever invented (X-MEN LEGENDS? Please.), and a loving homage to Lee and Kirby's Silver Age comics. The game system is a modified form of real-time strategy, which I usually hate 'cuz I suck at such games, but this one's aces because you can slow the action down when the fighting gets heavy. The FREEDOM FORCE comics are just okay, but recommended if you end up playing and enjoying the game. They basically retell the game's story in truncated form. ********* On MANHUNTER: Okay, I got no clue on this one. My *impression* is that the new Manhunter's ties to the Goodwin/Simonson version are marginal at best. I do know that the Goodwin Simonson one kicked ten kinds of ass, however, so good call there. One thing I always wondered, though: in that bithcin' photo Walt drew of Manhunter fighting a tiger...who took the picture? ******** Astronauto, you ask a helluva lot of questions, but it's all good! I love it when the industry wins back ex-readers. Even if they're enjoying JMS's FANTASTIC FOUR ;)

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 2:45 a.m. CST

    Buzz and Dave

    by El Vale

    Are you guys out of the team? No reviews from you this week and i can't remember if you had any last week. The more @$$holes the better cause it means a bigger number of books reviewed and a better column.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 3:25 a.m. CST

    Buzz is busy taking down scores...

    by Dave_F

    Me, I'm just lazy. I'll be around periodically, though, mebbe even in this coming Wednesday's column.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 3:53 a.m. CST

    A quick addendum

    by vroom socko

    I didn't suffer from bullying in high school, just in grade school. Partially because I got involved in the theater program and made a slew of friends. (And for the recoed Buzz, my needle doesn't turn that way. I'm just saying. not that there's anything wrong with that[/Seinfeld]) The real reason though, I think, is that by my sophmore year I'd hit the six-foot-five mark and doubled in weight. The one fight I got into, in my junior year, was the only guy who came close. The jerk poured OJ into my bag, so I stomped his ass. **** I'm Paul Harvey. Good day!

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Dave F....thanks

    by astronato

    Thank you so much for the detailed answers. I did/do have a lot of questions. Speaking of high school, I haven't had this much fun reading comic books since then. The art has improved over the years, the quality of the paper has improved. It's only been six months or so since i've been buying comics again, so it is too soon for me to judge the overall quality of the writing but I did read one thing I consider a modern day masterpiece, DC New Frontier. I peeked into a comic book store once or twice in the 90's and my perception at the time was that the 90's were the worst period ever for superhero fans. Was it as bad as I thought? Between changing Supermans costume, sidelining Batman for a year, the Hal jordan debacle and the bad taste left in my mouth in the 80's by killing Barry Allen and Supergirl it just seemed like superhero comics were heading in a direction that turned me off. It seemed like everything was about gimmicks and deconstruction. Now it seems like despite the darkness of the DCU they are gettign back to their iconic heroes and reinvigorating them the Geoff Johns way. It seems like DC has changed course but I don't know enough to say for sure. I see the crossover events are still in fashion. The assumption of many online seems to be that Infinite Crisis will be the death of some of the iconic heroes because that is what happenned in the last crisis. Am i way off base by thinking that Infinite Crisis will clean up convoluted backstories and bring back beloved characters? I would love the return of the multiple earth scenario. Having just one earth seems like such a limitation to the story tellers. This question goes out to anyone who wants to answer it, what do you think will come of Infinite Crisis?

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 1:53 p.m. CST

    vale...

    by blackthought

    it still hurts...hurts yepes was suspended. he might of been able to remember that zalayeta is not that good.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 4:11 p.m. CST

    astronato - Re: 'the Geoff Johns way'

    by Gus Nukem

    You mention that you peeked into some mainstream superhero stuff back in the '90s and you found them appalling. Therefore, you had read comics in the '80s, right? How long have you been reading comics? *** From your previous post, I understand you 're into superhero comics. So am I. I disagree with you on the Johns way and I believe it has to do with reading better comics from better creators. Superhero comics were created for children by adults. Obviously, they function as adult power fantasies and in time have evolved into a modern mythology. Well, since they are targeted to children and they are supposed to provide role models (I am referring to superhero comics, not comics in general), I believe they should feature ideal/romantic heroes and villains - in a sort of Silver Age manner. *** Some comics/collections to prove my point and which I whole-heartedly recommend: Superman in the '50s, the DCU stories by Alan Moore (brilliant - a must-have), Whatever happened to the Man of Tomorrow, Morrison & Millar's the Flash, v.2 #130-138, Morrison's JLA stories, JLA: Earth 2, JLA: One Million, JLA Classified #1-3, 7 Soldiers of Victory and his Julie Schwartz-tribute Adam Strange story, New X-men, Waid & Kitson's LoSH, Waid's Superman: Birthright, Moore's Top Ten, the 49-ers, Smax, both volumes of LXG (may posterity forgive me!), Garth Ennis's affectionate Tangled Web #1-3. DC: the New Frontier, indeed. *** All in all, I 'd say that Morrison, Waid and Moore know how to present a superhero story. *** On the other hand, we learn that the Mirror Master does coke. Leslie Thomkins lets a Robin die (in effect murders her). Elongated Man's wife gets raped and murdered. (Compare the anal rape found in Identity Crisis and in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, v. II. See what I mean ? - lol) Superheroes brainwash villains and each other and then conspire to cover it up. I believe this nastiness is inappropriate and wrong for such icons. They and their audience should be treated more... affectionately and carefully *** Please forgive my patronizing tone. I 'd be glad to hear your answers and recommendations.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Gus Nukem

    by astronato

    i'm in my mid 30's. As a kid in the late 70's my family bought me mostly DC comics, when I was heavy into buying comics on my own in the 80's it was more Marvel than DC, then i moved on to only independent comics before losing interest all together. Now my interest is mostly in the DC heroes. I guess I am talking about too different things when i complain about the 90's. The grim and gritty stuff bothered me but not as much as changing the identities underneath the capes and cowls. I enjoyed Killing Joke until I realized it was canon. I bought the Flash for about a year after Barry died. Since returning to comics I am enjoying what John s is doing with the Green Lantern, I am told he has brought back Carter Hall and classic characters. That is the stuff I like. I guess I don't know enough about Johns work to refer to anything as the "Geoff Johns way" but i have read and had people tell me that Johns reminds the readers what was cool about classic characters. That is what I meant. I could do without the ultra violence and deconstruction. I avoided Identity Crisis because of the death of Ted Kord and the rape of Sue Dibney but Leslie Thomkins means a lot less to me. I can deal with Wonder Woman killing a villain but would drop the book if DC killed her and replaced her. I do wish I could share these book with the kids in my family and while it is a shame that I can't, I enjoy them. In the best of all worlds DC would use the iconic characters and make the books accessable to all ages. The 90's hero books seemed to be adults only and with characters that I no longer recognized. At least today I have half of what I want.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 5:03 p.m. CST

    Grant Morrison

    by astronato

    I don't know much about Grant Morrisons stuff. He is doing the upcoming All Star Superman so I will check that out and I have issue one of the Mystery in Space comic he did last year about Adam Strange. I have been meaning to read it but haven't. Is Morrison a hero deconstructor or a hero glorifier? Is Garth Ennis the guy who used to write for 2000AD? Is he the one who wrote that Jack Kirby was shit and compared him to a one hit wonder?

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 5:08 p.m. CST

    Sue Dibney

    by astronato

    i have to ask and i hope this doesn't sound perverted. How was Sue Dibneys rape depicted that the audience knew it was an anal rape? I can't imagine why there was a need to go into such detail.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Grant Morrison and Garth Ennis

    by El Vale

    I wouldn't describe Morrison as either a Superhero glorifier or superhero deconstructionist...i'd describe him as brilliant and one of the few people constantly working in the field who's shown us how far the ceiling really is. In fact i'd recommend you read this interview to see what the man is all about. It's a long read but it's definitelly worth it. http://tinyurl.com/c6bef Garth Ennis is in fact the 2000AD guy and i wouldn't know if he said those things about Kirby, but i do know that he doesn't like superheros very much. He's interested in other stuff. He also wrote Precher, my favorite thing ever so i hold him in high regard. Sometimes he'll go on Automatic-Ennis mode which isn't so good, but when he's plugged in and really trying, he can be the absolute best. His Punisher: The end comic from last year is a prime example of what makes him so good. Highly recommended, but bear in mind you'll first see him making fun of the JSA than writing it.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 7:32 p.m. CST

    I was thinking of Warren Ellis

    by astronato

    i did some yahooing and Warren Ellis was the one who wrote that Kirby was shit and compared him to a one hit wonder. I collected the 2000AD newspapers back in the day and Ennis sounds familiar. Preacher was one of the books I sampled in the mid 90's and I didn't care for it. I liked Monkey Man and O'Brien and the Unseen Hand. I do love the superhero books, but I am also getting Billy the Kid, Doc Frankenstein, City of Tomorrow and some other things. I'm open to lots of different things.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 9:24 p.m. CST

    Astronato

    by El Vale

    What was it about Preacher that turned you off?

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 9:31 p.m. CST

    um...

    by blackthought

    the font size?

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 10:01 p.m. CST

    The font size is fine!!!

    by El Vale

    Stop saying that, i hate you!!! You make me cry

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 10:03 p.m. CST

    Oh oh! And Warren Ellis really said that?

    by El Vale

    Was it like in an interview or something i can check out? Sounds cool

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 10:46 p.m. CST

    http://rodrigobaeza.blog-city.com/jack_kirby_was_shit.htm

    by astronato

    From reading this blog post my understanding is that a lot of people in the comic biz shared their admiration for Kirby at the time of Kirby's death and this annoyed Ellis. It goes on to say he wound up doing the Ultimate FF. He must feel so degraded working beneath his status. It's hilarious. As far as what I didn't like about Preacher, it was years ago and only one comic, I honestly can't remember the details. The subject matter didn't offend me, It just didn't motivate me to buy another issue.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Thank you Astro

    by El Vale

    That was great, i love Warren Ellis. Past the "Kirby is shit" line, which is, like Ellis said, just to get your attention, he makes some interesting points...especially to a guy who refuses to believe Kirby is the reason the universe exists. i can't elaborate cause i've never ever read a Kirby comic, so i don't have an informed opinion. But Ellis makes a nice argument.

  • Sept. 5, 2005, 11:43 p.m. CST

    hey guys

    by Darth Kal-El

    sorry i havent been around.on saturday as the cherry on the shit sunday that was last week i was arrested for an outstanding warrant and spent saturday night in jail.ill be back later on with more details.im writing vh1 abouta show i want to start called 'Worst week ever"

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 12:01 a.m. CST

    goodness jail?

    by blackthought

    did they arrest you for buying into rob liefeld? but in all seriousness we await the tail when you are able. and vale...font size is everything...and that was such a sweet strike by soto...all for naught...damn zalayeta...i'm still pissed...hope y'all had a swell labor day.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 12:04 a.m. CST

    No labor day here

    by El Vale

    Everyone had to labor today. Except for me.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 7:14 a.m. CST

    that's forgivable

    by blackthought

    i just snagged me a zalayeta jersey by the way...jk.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 7:22 a.m. CST

    astronato

    by Gus Nukem

    Actually, I was referring to the mean spirited-ness and adult orientation in today's superhero comics. *** A very good antidote to villains doing coke and raping and heroes mindwiping here and there would be JLA Classified # 1-3. *** I don't know... how the rape in IC was conducted - sorry about that. However, you can compare an all-ages book like IC with a more mature title like tLoEG (you know what this means) and see a ton of differences, such as in taste and in humour. *** Again, I 'd like to recommend checking out 'the DC universe's stories of Alan Moore' to see how it's supposed to be done. (even he, has in some way denounced the Killing Joke for being utterly pointless and unfittingly violent). And DC: the New Frontier. And the upcoming All-Star Superman.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 10:57 a.m. CST

    I was going to say that I had a busy weekend and moving sucks, b

    by The Heathen

    Darth that sucks! Hope everything works out for you man. Just remember that life feeds us shit right when we try our hardest to succeed (in your case going to school for scriptwriting) and we gotta keep at it. At least that what I've told myself for the past week cause it was pretty sucky too. *** Just to add my 2 cents on the "gay" thing. First of all, when I was younger in the 80's I went to a county fair in Gay county Georgia anually w/ my Grandma. Since the whole gay (not that there's anything wrong w/ that!) gender becoming more popular the Gay County Fair is no longer called that for obvious reasons. The point is that gay used to mean happy, now it means lame - and I grew up saying, "that's gay" but not out of any sort of hate. *** On Batman killing? I've brought it up before, but Batman wasted four of Gotham's finest in ASB&R #1 by ramming the batmobilr through their squad car. But, Dave_F assured me in issue #2 we'll see them parachuting to safety. *** I had a friend in High School who was fat and gay and red headed, but he could draw. Being able to draw is a good way to keep the bullies away. I only had one guy who annoyed me in Middle/High School. He was the type of guy that thought is was funny to mess with your food at lunch, a real prankster, and being a Diabetic I didn't like that too much. He did this even in his Senior year and I think has 5 kids all a year apart and works outside in the Florida humidity & sun every day. : ) And any bully who uses binaca or spits and runs is a true dick and deserves to have Dr. Light get frisky on 'em. Speaking of which *** astro, they didn't graphically depict that it was an ass rape, but it was rape (a word far worse than gay imho) but none of it was seen in panel. Her dead corpse on the other hand *gulp*

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Geoff Johns, Greg Rucka, Mark Waid, and Grant Morrison are the m

    by The Heathen

    52. Not a bad line up imo, especially the first & the last. J.G. Jones is also doing all 52 covers that are *gasp* story oriented and not iconic. Keith Giffen helps out on breakdowns and Alex Sinclair will be the main colorist. I'm excited about this.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 12:39 p.m. CST

    thanks for the encouraging words heathen

    by Darth Kal-El

    last week basically went like this:on monday i got back together with my ex girlfriend who was on just booty call status because i felt like i couldnt trust her.see she has this friend from her school who was getting too close to her imo while we were together and she didnt really do anything to discourage it and in fact encouraged it.she broke up with me and i found out she had been seeing this other guy. so on monday after assuring me he had been deplyoyed(hes in the army) and that hes no longer in her life i decided to get back together with her because honestly i thougth i was in love. evrything was great until tuesday night when i get an anonymous phone call telling me that shes lying about his deployment and that shes still being with him even tho she swears to me she hasnt talked to him in 4 months.i call her and we get into a huge fight on the phone about it.im driving out to her house so we can talk and my jeep pops a hose in the radiator or something(im mechanically retarded) and im stranded on the freeway while my warnagler spews steam and some red shit.wednesday and thrusday was more of the same BS with her denying they even talk and the jeep in the shop. then i get a call from this guy.apparantly the same anonymous person that called me called him and told him to call my number.so we talk but he basically repeats her story which is just making me more suspicious.so she tells me that a quick way to settle this is for me to look at her phone statments and see if i see his #.i hate doing that kind of thing so i tell her no.she goes out of her way to bring me the statments anyways and out of morbid curiosity i look.so im not finding anything so i feel bad about accusing her of cheating. this is thursday night.we make up and swear undying love to each other. then friday morning i tell my best friend about it and he says ' man be careful that girl is shady' which gets me thinking how all i saw was paper statements.so i go online to view the statements again but the account is locked. being as i work in a call center i figure i can call and have it unlocked so i call and give her # but her name is not coming up.so i try his name and the account comes up. seems this guy she swore she never talked to was paying her phone bill. this is friday morning.so that night i go out with my friends and get shitfaced because im so hurt by this two timing whore.wake up saturday afternoon and head to my moms house for some food and get stopped at a sobriety checkpoint. cop runs my license and pulls up an outstanding warrant for failure to appear on a 3 year old ticket. do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars go directly to jail for the night.didnt even get a chance to go buy comics.so yeah "Worst Week Ever"

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 12:44 p.m. CST

    sorry i just had to get that off my chest

    by Darth Kal-El

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Fucking shit Kal-El

    by The Heathen

    Anonymous phone calls, the Warnagler fucking up, army deployment boyfriends (they never deploy when the chick say's so!), and some nice detective work on your part my friend. Worst Week Ever is a fair assesment, mine was only Kinda-Lame-Busy-Poor-Bastard Week Ever. But I also haven't had the time nor money to pick up my books. Dying to know about Astonishing, Young Avengers, GL, etc.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 2:27 p.m. CST

    i actually did read some comics

    by Darth Kal-El

    a friend of mine dropped off his stack of books for me to read so i was able to read wonder woman,captain america,young avengers,black panther and astonishing x-men.loving the winter soldier story but this one issue kind of dragged.i also thought the way batman and superman were handled to be beyond lame. the young avengers was good and so was the house of m tie in black panther. but astonishing blew me away! i loved this comic!

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 2:31 p.m. CST

    There was no anal rape in IDENTITY CRISIS...

    by SleazyG.

    ...just as the assumption there was anal sex between Luke Cage and Jessica Jones in ALIAS is off-base. As I've been saying here for a few years now, just because the guy is entering *from* behind doesn't mean he's entering *the* behind. I have researched this quite extensively through both first-hand experience and through hours of painstaking internet surfing, and I'm tellin' ya, neither Luke Cage or Dr. Light stuck it in anybody's pooper.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 2:46 p.m. CST

    but whos to say luke cage hasnt at all

    by Darth Kal-El

    i mean him and jessica are a couple so maybe one night u know he started her off by putting a pinky in and worked his way to a butt plug before finally convincing her to let him pop it in the pooper.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 2:51 p.m. CST

    as for dr light

    by Darth Kal-El

    since i consider all rapist deplorable maybe they should have let some huge guy sodomize him in jail and not mind wipe that part so he would always remember and when he took a shit and flet his ass was all loose he would know its because hes a cowardly raping dick scab

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:05 p.m. CST

    That is fucked up Darth

    by El Vale

    I'm verry sorry dude, i'm quite sure you don't deserve such shit. I mean you practically did time for that slut. I must confess tho', i thought you'd found out you were adopted or something. But still it was pretty bad and i'm sorry.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Dr. Light

    by The Heathen

    I hope this guy get's the crap beat out of him in Inf Crisis and I hope it's mainly by Ralph "Elongated Man" Dibny! The only thing I've had time to read that I already had was the first issue (in trade form) of the original Crisis On Infinite Earths last night. And you KNOW Luke Cage has, c'mon, you know it!!!

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:13 p.m. CST

    There WAS anal sex in Irreversible

    by El Vale

    And this one time i tried easing in some anal and the girl got like really freaked out. So ask before you do gentlemen. I can't believe i just shared that.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:20 p.m. CST

    You know how we Cog Smooches in back among other comic geeks wer

    by The Heathen

    that we'd be lucky if we had a woman who looks anything like Gail Simone (loved Action Comics #830 btw) and how we nerds think that all people who we haven't seen are our wet dreams, but really are just normal looking people? To that I give you this picture of Jo Chen *** http://tinyurl.com/7jmcu ***

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:22 p.m. CST

    thanks for the words vale

    by Darth Kal-El

    yeah it sucked pretty bad but im a survivor. i figured last week sucked major ass so this one has to be better.ive never been into anal myself.i dont know it just doenst attract me.yeah i know what u mean heathen he definitely has some payback coming and it would be sweet if elongated man dished it out.u know who i think probably likes anal is emma frost. but i get the vibe from her that while she can be hedonistic she only gives scott the basic so he doesnt know hes got a freaky deaky woman on his hands.just a thought

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:24 p.m. CST

    jo chen=WOW

    by Darth Kal-El

    quite the cutie!and belive me finding out the woman u love has been lying to u can make u feel pretty damn ugly and unwanted.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:26 p.m. CST

    I thought the same thing about Scott and Emma Kal-El

    by The Heathen

    You know she's freaky, but Scott just doesn't "get" it. He's used to missionary w/ Jean! I may or may not be into anal. Well, I will be into as soon as I get to get into it, does that make sense? Wow, were talking about anal in a comics talkback - the Cog Smooches rule.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:34 p.m. CST

    hell yeah we rule

    by Darth Kal-El

    i dont know why but i always thought scott was the kinda guy who never got the full potential from any of his women. he just gives off that vibe. like hell just be content with missionary.u know hes not satisfying emma's ass.and i bet jean could only climax if she thought of logan. lol...its funny that work is so boring that im actually posting this

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:49 p.m. CST

    That's why Logan was always so pissed

    by The Heathen

    he knew Jean was thinking it wile she was in bed w/ Scott! Depending on what happened in Astonishing #12 (please don't SPOIL) Whedon should write her telling Scott he's going to be shown a few things out of the normal danger room

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 3:57 p.m. CST

    man i want to spoil it so bad cuz it was so cool

    by Darth Kal-El

    but i wont heathen.damn u go buy it now so we can discuss!!!

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST

    u know who else likes anal...

    by Darth Kal-El

    ...is Robin from ASBR.welcome to the war little soldier!

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 4:57 p.m. CST

    my comic book store had a 25% off sale today....

    by astronato

    ....and I cleaned up on trades. I was recently inspired to pick up JSA All Stars, JSA Returns, JSA Golden Age,Sandman Mystery Theatre and Kirby's Green Arrow. I also got Selina's Big Score, Gotham Central Vol 1, Adam Strange Planet Heist, Space Ghost, Waid's JLA Year One, Unstable Molecules and Albion issue 1. I spent so much that I got a Legion archive for free. I am one happy fan boy. Thanks to everyone for the recommendations.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 5:19 p.m. CST

    I hate you all

    by El Vale

    I mean not only do you people have local comic book stores but they give you discounts and shit. You should all be giving me stuff for my birthday. ***Jean-Scott-Logan-Emma: Ok so Jean was in love with her hubby Cyclops so she prolly enjoyed making love to him. BUT, man did she wanna get ass fucked by Logan! It's pretty obvious she wanted animal sex with him. But i think Emma could bring out an animal in everyone. The sex must be pretty good, altho' she could not convince Scott to put it in her ass if she threatened to cut it off. Just like Heathen :P

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 6:39 p.m. CST

    hey vale

    by Darth Kal-El

    i am planning a trip to ecuador for early next year around march. ill let u know tho so u can give me a list of what u want me to bring.i imagine from quito to where u are the mail should be ok.

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 6:47 p.m. CST

    "BUT, man did she wanna get ass fucked by Logan! It's pretty

    by Darth Kal-El

    i heart this board!

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 7:21 p.m. CST

    im pretty sure Eric Larsen quoted one of the posts from the boar

    by Darth Kal-El

    so industry pros are reading the board and were dscussing anal sex over at the x-mansion. thats funny

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 8:59 p.m. CST

    Hey Darth

    by El Vale

    No nononono nonono nonononono no man, i mean seriously that's the nicest thing ever but don't worry about me. I love fists in the air moments and getting angry at god and stuff but seriously do not be that nice. I won't lie to you, your offer is tempting sire! There's so much stuff i wish i could find online to download :P But i couldn't. Anyway thanks and you're very cool for even considering a thing like that. ***I heart this board too. Did Larsen really quote a post from these here lonely places? What was it? *** Finally here's something worth reading. An interview with Devin Grayson in which she discusses in painful detail the inner workings of the comic book industry. Well more like the inner workings of writing for the big two when you're not Bendis/Johns. For the record, i've never in my life read a Devin Grayson comic nor have i been inclined to do so, but this is certainly worth your while. http://tinyurl.com/dbmsg for part 1 and http://tinyurl.com/clezp for part 2

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 9:06 p.m. CST

    its not a problem at all and u still have til march to consider

    by Darth Kal-El

    thanks for the links vale looks like some good reading for tomorrows work day. im out for now but just wanted to let u guys know that my brother's band Crost is playing at the whisky in hollywood tomorrow night so if any of u are in the southern california area u should stop by and check them out! theyre getting better with every show and thats not just a brother's love talking cuz i dont really care for rock music. for more info go to www.crostworld.com.have a great night @$$es and cogs!

  • Sept. 6, 2005, 9:33 p.m. CST

    darth...

    by blackthought

    are you ecuadorian? if you are thats cool cuz you are a neighbor to me and vale and a fellow south american and your ecuador (if you are that is) are playing some exceptional football in world cup qualifying...definately one of the better squads you've had. and i can also offer the same for vale with the books and have thought about bringing it up everytime he laments about not having a tangeable source to get em...but i feared being overwhelmed with all the porn comics he's writing...i have a weak will ;)...oh and cuz well i have lots of fam in bogota and i'll be there within a few months me thinks and then me and vale can weap about zalayeta toying with our d. and darth...any lessons learned with the male chica? besides um...don't trust em. and what's all this anal stuff? hmmm...i wonder what kitty is like...animal or tame?

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 12:51 a.m. CST

    Darth is indeed ecuatoriano

    by El Vale

    BRING ME THE RUNAWAYS HC AND SLEEPER AND EX MACHINA AND AND AND AND AND-see what happens? I can't believe i'm the porn guy now. Last night i wrote two short stories for this contest we're entering. One was about an african woman watching the world come alive and die. The second one is about a sick boy...that one made Maria cry. SO I GOTS RANGE! And Kitty, she gives this vibe like she loves sucking cock. Doesn't show it, you'd think she's all cute and the kind of girl you never do from behind cause you wanna look at her pretty face...and you'll prolly end up all curled up with her in bed telling her she's the pretties thing you ever saw...but no, she loves her some male genitalia you can rest asured. But that's nice innit?

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 12:23 p.m. CST

    yes i am indeed ecuatoriano

    by Darth Kal-El

    yeah kitty has always struck me as a closet freak.definitely likes the cock and wild positions.which of course works out well since pete is an inexperienced russian country boy.bet he gets his metal ass rocked! is good da?

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Kitty, you say you want me to put dong where?

    by Shigeru

    what is this...how you say?...fartpipe?

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 3:28 p.m. CST

    You'd think Colossus would split her in half

    by El Vale

    And you'd think she'd like it. No column today?

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 4:17 p.m. CST

    We took a day off for Labor Day.

    by Dave_F

    Do they have that in Colombia? 'Cause lemme tell ya, it's overrated - largely as a result of me having to work it. Anyhoo, it did delay comics till Thursday for we Yanks, so we figured no one would notice if the column got bumped slightly. New one should be up late today or sometime tomorrow. All is well. ****** And Kitty's a closet bisexual, of course, like all of Claremont's women. Too bad she lost her girlfriend, Illyana...

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 5:17 p.m. CST

    I'm pretty sure there's a dia del trabajo in Colombia

    by El Vale

    Just not the same day as you guys. And we have like ten billion holidays here, it's purdy swanky.

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 6:04 p.m. CST

    true words vale

    by Darth Kal-El

    south america loads up on hollidays. and of course theyre excuses to party to excess. during las fiestas de quito in ecuador during the month of november(?if i remember correctly)double decker buses with full bars will roll up and down the streets.u can jump on and join the party for like 3 american dollars.

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 6:06 p.m. CST

    also

    by Darth Kal-El

    ive heard from friends that live over there that whores have something called 'el plato completo' or the full plate which is basically anal,oral and vaginal sex for a mere $21.00.some of them are even chicks!

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 6:07 p.m. CST

    er....yeah kitty is TOTALLY BI!

    by Darth Kal-El

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 6:09 p.m. CST

    a question for native english speakers - Re: Ult F4 #6

    by Gus Nukem

    In Ultimate Fantastic Four #6 in the middle of the comic, Johnny Storm says: "I need a bath! I'm going to heave one up from these things." *** Only the word 'bath' is in bold. *** At that time, he and Ben Grimm are fighting the Mole Man's creatures in his collapsing underground lair. *** What does Johnny mean? (he will heave a bath up from one of the mud/plant creatures ?) Is that a joke? How? *** Pray explain. --- thanks, in advance

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 6:54 p.m. CST

    A question for native english speakers?

    by El Vale

    Does that mean even if i knew, i couldn't answer?

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 7:05 p.m. CST

    english wasnt my first language

    by Darth Kal-El

    i read the comic in question but its been a while so my memory of it is hazy but from what your describing it sounds like the creatures smell bad and the smell is getting on johnny so he says he need a bath or hes going to hurl. thats what it sounds like to me.any thoughts?

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 7:37 p.m. CST

    OMG! Illyana was Kitty's bi-girl.

    by Homer Sexual

    Now that you have pointed it out, it seems so obvious. But I was a naive country boy back then.

  • Sept. 7, 2005, 10:57 p.m. CST

    good stuff

    by blackthought

    jewish lesbians named kitty pride

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:58 a.m. CST

    OK, tell me

    by Gus Nukem

    "I need a bath, so I 'll one up from these things." - how so ?

  • Gus, basically it's kinda an awkwardly written sentence. Johnny is saying that he is going to "heave" (vomit) "one" (a certain quantity of vomit) "up" from just being around the stinky gross mole dudes. I dunno why Bendis didn't just right "I'm going to heave up because of these things." or "These things make me wanna hurl". Nobody says "heave one up"! YEAH FUCK YOU BENDIS!! ARR! ALL YR BOOKS R ALL LIKE BLAH BLAH BLAH DAREDVIL BLAH BLAH, SCREW YOU FCKER!!!

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Shigeru is the man!

    by Gus Nukem

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 11:29 a.m. CST

    What can I say?

    by Shigeru

    He speaks the truth.

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 12:18 p.m. CST

    good job shigeru

    by Darth Kal-El

    i wish i had taken ESL sooner!

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 12:19 p.m. CST

    kitty pride

    by Darth Kal-El

    wow i didnt even think about that! good job blackthought.

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 12:20 p.m. CST

    do we get a new column today...

    by Darth Kal-El

    ...or should we start discussing whos doing who and how over at the watchtower

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 1:42 p.m. CST

    repoop ym ni ti tup namkwah!!

    by Shigeru

    That's what Zee would say... God I'm a dork

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Where's the new column and what's the watchtower?

    by El Vale

    I'm willing to discuss any sort of ficticious sexual encounter.

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Watchtower

    by Shigeru

    The Watchtower is an illustrated religious magazine printed and published by Jehovah's Witnesses via their Watchtower Bible and Tract Society in Wallkill, Ulster County, New York and branch offices around the world. wait....that's not what he meant...

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Favorite characters

    by rengaw

    Kitty Pryde, Linda Danvers Supergirl, and She-Hulk. Beauty, Brains, AND Brawn. Gave up Batman decades ago, Superman post Crisis, and WW about the same time. Do like the new Wonder Girl and Kid Flash. Used to like Dr Strange and Clea.

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 2:45 p.m. CST

    watchtower

    by Darth Kal-El

    i was actually referring to the orbiting space station that serves as the justice leaugue's headquarters but yeah jehova's witness butt sex is interesting too

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 2:51 p.m. CST

    it's on the moon right?

    by Shigeru

    thus orbiting

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 2:57 p.m. CST

    actually...

    by Darth Kal-El

    youre right shigeru i was actually basing it on the justice league unlimeted cartoon where it appears to orbit over the earth. ill admit im not too familiar with the comics themselves but that is a kick ass cartoon!

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:04 p.m. CST

    yeah I gotta get cartoon network

    by Shigeru

    so I can see that show. It's on that channel right? I actually never read JLA really and had to wikipedia to find out it was on the moon haha.

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Jehova's witneses have sex on the moon? Eye yam confused

    by El Vale

    It kinda seems to me like those JLA pussies don't even know what sex means. Except for Batman and Robin.***Rengaw you're kinda let for last week's fave character discussion and stuff but i can asure you the characters you mentioned are perfectly suitable for our sex talk.***And do you guys think we can keep this going now that there's no column this week?

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:19 p.m. CST

    "It kinda seems to me like those JLA pussies don't even know

    by Darth Kal-El

    thanks vale that one made me spit out a mouthful of green tea! and yes it looks like were going to have to for the time being since no new column is present. i agree about rengaws fave characters.weve already talked about kitty pride and im not really sure who danvers is so ill reserve comment. i could see supergirl being a really inocent,girl next door type like kal but once the right guy unlocked her potential she would be a handful! the beauty is she would be loyal to her man! lady in the streets but a freak between the sheets. now she hulk on the other hand i see as the very aggresibe type. this is a woman who is used to getting her way and i dont think that would change in bed. she would be a roughouse and probably try to give me anal.i dont think id be able to handle she-hulk.reminds me of some black girls i dated in the past and they were only black! shes green!

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:22 p.m. CST

    you know we can Vale

    by The Heathen

    To me, I don't think of the JLA ever having any sex. Hmm? But, those freaks over at the X-Mansion are always getting some! Most of my young fantasies included Jim Lee pin-up X-girls (that's why I can't hate him like some) getting it on in the Danger Room. And Vale, don't worry about being the porn guy. The 2 links you gave us of your written porn was only so memorable because it was written so well. If you do any kind of porn, you may as well do it the way you did my friend. Hit us up w/ a link to your Batman, etc. stories if you can

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:28 p.m. CST

    your girl says Shazam? thats awesome shes a keeper

    by Darth Kal-El

    i should have know my ex would be trouble because she said lightsabers were dumb looking.i agree i want more vale written stuff.jlu is indeed awesome and it is indeed on cartoon network shigeru.also if your area provider carries it you should ask about boomerang. they carry a ton of old school cartoon like the original justice league and batman and superman show.also childhood greats like the smurfs and the pink panther and the jetsons.i just got dishnetwork with DVR and it really is a little like crack.

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:29 p.m. CST

    and heathen

    by Darth Kal-El

    u have to get it man its tight!

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Just had my DishNetwork hooked up yestersay (explaining my absen

    by The Heathen

    but alas, no DVR. I have the 811 HD receiver and two regular old ones, but I want to see if I can get the HD/DVR model w/out paying a shitload of money. Yeah, my girl got mad at me last night cause I was watching TV late in the living room (it used to always be in our room) and she wanted to go to bed, so I told her she could, but I was going to remain on the couch. I thought she would be happy cause she hated having the TV in the room, but she wasn't. Ahhh. But DishNetwork is the shit. : )

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Speaking of Batman & Robin, here's Frank Miller's cover

    by The Heathen

    http://tinyurl.com/746un *** Batman has him trapped!!!

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Okay, off to read Astonishing

    by The Heathen

    But, in the meantime, if Rogue could touch people what would she be like in bed? Isn't that the age old question? Is good da?

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Your wish is my command

    by El Vale

    First of all i'm glad to make stuff come out of your nostrils Darth! And that cover for ASS B&R sure is frightening for all the wrong reasons. Off panel you KNOW batman has his cock out! I wish my girl would say SHAZAM! or something geeky like that. She fucking HATES Star wars...the other day we had this huge fight cause i suggested we watched a Star wars movie together. She got so mad. I wish i could score with a girl like Maria i mean she's hot, she's older than me, she brings comics everywhere she goes and she has a fucking Corto Maltese tattoo!

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 4:28 p.m. CST

    oh i agree that is a disturbing cover!

    by Darth Kal-El

    he has his cock out of panel! and hes still wearing the cowl! i dont really think thats blood either.it might be some kind of marmalade.yeah vale u and heathen and blackthought do a good job of keeping me laughing and stuff will defintely come out of my nostrils from time to time.man maria sounds hot! does she stay in your area?

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Grant Morrison's art at : comicon.com/pulse

    by Gus Nukem

    he discusses his 7SoV and he get some of his designs. Very good stuff. *** http://www.comicon.com/pulse/images_05a/1seven8.jpg *** http://www.comicon.com/pulse/images_05a/1seven7.jpg *** http://www.comicon.com/pulse/images_05a/1seven2.jpg *** PS I hope I 've ruined the so meticulously structured talkback length *** PPS Shigeru, thanks once again

  • Sept. 8, 2005, 6:25 p.m. CST

    new column is up

    by Darth Kal-El

  • Sept. 9, 2005, 1:17 a.m. CST

    yum

    by blackthought

    a new column, hope its tasty...i wonder if i'm old enough for maria? and darth, hope your nostrils are ok.

  • Sept. 9, 2005, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Maria Maria

    by El Vale

    Sadly she lives in Portugal, many many many miles from here. Not that she'd pay any sort of attention to me, being a kid and all. She's 28.

  • Sept. 9, 2005, 3:08 p.m. CST

    im 27 going to be 28 october 1st

    by Darth Kal-El

    i bet i could LAST all night with a girl like maria!

  • Sept. 9, 2005, 7:34 p.m. CST

    um

    by blackthought

    she'd probably go for somoen like luis figo sadly.

  • Sept. 9, 2005, 8:01 p.m. CST

    ill tell him to lay off my girl maria

    by Darth Kal-El

    this is the LAST time im going to tell u luis you fucking cock!

  • Sept. 10, 2005, 10:33 a.m. CST

    well darth

    by blackthought

    luis might not see her...as often!...with moving to inter milan and all which is a bit further away from portugal than playing for real madrid...but then again he's super rica, so he can just fly over whenever he wants...i'd also keep an eye on pedro pauleta too.

  • Sept. 10, 2005, 4:32 p.m. CST

    the LAST time i talked to pedro he acted like a douce

    by Darth Kal-El

    so we dont talk anymore

  • Sept. 10, 2005, 11:32 p.m. CST

    that's too bad

    by blackthought

    i mean come on darth, he bags tons of goals for PSG and the Portugal national team...how can you not expect him to bag Maria too...and he chose plastic instead of paper just to let you know.

  • Sept. 14, 2005, 3:44 p.m. CST

    Wow

    by El Vale

    Just wow...

  • Sept. 15, 2005, 10:25 a.m. CST

    What the hell is "idolation"?

    by Hellboy

    It's "idolatry". And Liefeld sucks.

  • Sept. 15, 2005, 9:43 p.m. CST

    by blackthought

    smiles

  • Sept. 16, 2005, 9:17 a.m. CST

    by Gus Nukem

    posts LAST!

  • Sept. 16, 2005, 10:18 p.m. CST

    keep trying buddy

    by blackthought

    LAST

  • Sept. 17, 2005, 12:49 p.m. CST

    yeah, right

    by Gus Nukem

    and LAST!

  • Sept. 18, 2005, 1:40 p.m. CST

    ......

    by blackthought

    LAST

  • Sept. 18, 2005, 5:35 p.m. CST

    LAST

    by Gus Nukem

    .....

  • Sept. 19, 2005, 3:33 p.m. CST

    by blackthought

    L.A.S.T.

  • Sept. 22, 2005, 4:51 p.m. CST

    by Gus Nukem

    N. O. ***** I = L. A. S. T.

  • Sept. 22, 2005, 10:29 p.m. CST

    does not compute

    by blackthought

    LAST my friend

  • Sept. 23, 2005, 11:14 a.m. CST

    maybe you should re-check your calculations

    by Gus Nukem

    'cause this time I am LAST

  • Sept. 23, 2005, 6:26 p.m. CST

    yes

    by blackthought

    at that time you were, now this time you are not.

  • Sept. 26, 2005, 8:36 a.m. CST

    exactly as you put it:

    by Gus Nukem

  • Sept. 26, 2005, 8:36 a.m. CST

    exactly as you put it: "this time you are not"

    by Gus Nukem

    but I am LAST!

  • Sept. 26, 2005, 3:36 p.m. CST

    i admire

    by blackthought

    your greek persistance my friend...but alas...i am LAST.

  • Sept. 28, 2005, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Ha!

    by Gus Nukem

    Not for much longer you are not! LAST! PS I appreciate your admiration of my background. BTW where are you from/live (plz include your credit card number)

  • Sept. 29, 2005, 12:49 p.m. CST

    my credit card....

    by blackthought

    errrrrr...wait a minute...my background is supremely mixed...i have pretty much everything, german, swedish, french, spanish, english, welsh, ghanain, ivory coasten, niger, venezuelen, panamanian, american...among like a 20 other things but for the sake of simplicity i am an american and colombian citezen...my fellow country men is vale. oh all this background stuff was leading me to say, um LAST!

  • Sept. 29, 2005, 3:29 p.m. CST

    ok

    by Gus Nukem

    What the fuck did the police discover on that plane to Miami? Embryos for pagan rites? Aw, well... LAST!

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 5:30 p.m. CST

    pagan

    by blackthought

    very greek/roman of you there...and LAST!

  • Sept. 30, 2005, 5:48 p.m. CST

    muchos gracias

    by Gus Nukem

    final!

  • Oct. 1, 2005, 2:51 p.m. CST

    fin

    by blackthought

    LAST!

  • June 29, 2006, 1:28 a.m. CST

    this talkback is brought to you by blackthought's

    by blackthought

    lasting...last. oh how i love last.