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Oh my... SNAKES ON A PLANE pictures!
Hahahahahahahahahaha... hahahahahahahahaha
I'm sorry, squirts... I don't know exactly why but these pics for the upcoming Sam Jackson thriller SNAKES ON A PLANE just fucking make me laugh. I don't think there's anything overtly shitty about them (other than the bright bright bright lighting) but there's something that just cracks me up about the pictures... Maybe it is the look on Sam Jackson's face... Or the fact that this for some reason looks exactly as I thought it would... I have a feeling that this will be one of my favorite movies of all time.
CLICK IT HERE TO VISIT BLACKFILM.COM AND GET SOME SNAKE IN YER EYE!
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It's true!
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from wariors of virtue to this . . .
i miss those damn kangaroos. -
Tarkovsky is the greatest!
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Could be fun in a Pitch-Black-I-can't-believe-it's-not-totally-shitty sort of way. Crappy title though though.
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because there was a skit on SNL called snakes on a plan.
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... I guess Star Wars wasn't such a career move afterall.
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Aug 22, 2005 11:15:36 PM CDT
How Much Money Did Julianna Margulies Turn Down From The ER Peop
by flim springfield
Oh well. I'm sure she'll turn up on some CSI spin-off eventually...
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They seriously play up the camp/fun aspect instead of making it a "serious" thriller. Come on, it's called Snakes on a Plane....have a little fun with it, guys! www.unseenfilms.com
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.... that Jay Sherman should be reviewing. You know, the Jon Lovitz character on "The Critic." I'm still astounded that "Snakes on a Plane" is a real movie and not the title of some fake movie in an SNL skit.
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Doesnt this remind u of an SNL skit
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...to that 1998 movie, FISH ON A BLIMP?
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It was in 1998 with John Goodman hosting. A cobra is loose on the plane, and Will Ferrell makes hilarious announcements as the pilot. He should be in this.
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Just how many snakes are on this plane?
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Don't judge him by this poop.
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Aug 23, 2005 12:12:42 AM CDT
That's a plane all right...and those certainly are snakes!
by cletus van damme
In all seriousness though,if David Koechner's in it, I'm there!
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You know, the dude from Fat Albert?
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Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK. I'm not sure if I want to love it or hate it, 'cause its so retarded, but it's got Sam Jackson AND Dave "Champ" Koechner, so I just don't know what to think...
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...WTF is this?
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He's like... what the hell... howd I get all these snakes in my lap... as if they were base ball cards or those gnome dolls from the 90s. I mean... if a bunch of garder snakes fell in my lap it wouldn't take me long to be cool about it... but this guy's mellow as shit. I mean, they look like they just fell out of the overhead compartment onto him. Is he just waking up? Why am I up at one twenty pondering this shit. But this biggest question of all... HOW DO YOU SMUGGLE A BUTT LOAD OF SNAKES ONTO A PLANE??? My guess... lots and lots of the lemur lube was INvolved... and I do me IN! Peace.
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i really really really hope this movie has a trailer with the trailer-guy doing a really really really serious-sounding voiceover... "Snakes... onna PLANE"
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NeoSamurai is right, that guy doesn't even move. He's prodding them like they're some ants crawling on him. This could be the razzie contender of the year. What a stick of shit. Also, Sam Jackson's dome is blinding me in every picture, powder that goddamn mirror or I'll give you the bill for my cataracts operation.
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Aug 23, 2005 12:41:40 AM CDT
For those of you on the right side of the plane there's a vi
by thebaxter
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I hope they play this totally straight-faced. This movie will bomb harder than Serenity, but I love them for trying.
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Aug 23, 2005 12:47:33 AM CDT
Uh, I think a good majority of you fail to realize that this is
by team america
Do you guys REALLY think they're taking themselves seriously on this one? This is from the same director who brought us "Cellular", which aimed to be nothing more than strict B-movie material.
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IN A WORLD where your DARKEST FEARS slither freely without the restraint of a ZIPPER
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I will not stand by and let you speak ill of the quality of David Ellis
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Yeah there's Kenan Thompson, the greatest black actor of our generation, and also David Koechner, who was on SNL for a year or two.
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...comes a movie that manages to be worse than those two movies, THE FAN, and MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE combined.
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Aug 23, 2005 2:03:08 AM CDT
There MUST be a scene where a snake, covered in the blue shit sp
by krullboy
Search your feelings, you know this to be true
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No way.
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Aug 23, 2005 2:10:02 AM CDT
This'll be a hoot, whereas the trailer for THE MAN gave me e
by frankdrebin
That's the one with Sam & Eugene Levy. I swear, it looks like an "urban" remake of COPS & ROBBERSONS. Chevy Chase must be spinning in his grave!
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But less jerky.
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Why is this funny? Is the movie a comedy?
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Rachael Blanchard is hot!
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This film was doomed to fail when Ronny Yu left the director's chair!
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You all always bitch and moan about unoriginal Hollywood and blather blab blab. This is what you wanted. Original concept right? May have been done on SNL, but this isn't a remake, or reimagining or adaptation. You now got what you wanted. Stop whining.
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Only he could utter the lines "watch out the killer bees are coming" and look serious and in this I could imagine him uttering "downt throww bladdy serpints aat mea"
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Aug 23, 2005 3:24:29 AM CDT
Ok that set in the first photo came from the Saturday Night Live
by lezbo milk
That looks fucking awful...what the fuck is Sam Jackson thinking? It's not like he's actually tough enough to go on Leno and Letterman and just scream "Watch my movie Motherfuckers" and expect people to go see it.
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and he would need to say that line with the same facial expression that was used in the "Austin Powers: Goldmember" clip of him reacting to an exploding car.
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Aug 23, 2005 4:54:43 AM CDT
looks like someone switched the oxygen masks for snakes
by vicious_bastard
Get over it, Jackson has made some terrible movies. This won't be the worst.
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Aug 23, 2005 6:03:18 AM CDT
I myself CANNOT wait for this one, It's gotta be better than
by mentallymariah
Snakes on a PLANE! BRING IT ON BITCHES!!
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I think they should get whoever did the score for Scooby Doo Meets The Boo Brothers. That would be pretty sweet. Peace.
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Aug 23, 2005 7:05:11 AM CDT
They should cast Hulk Hogan as the misterious Hindu Serpent Flut
by judge doom
Follow the sound of me flute, Brother!
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Or does it look in that first photo like Sam is sizing her up? He looks like he's trying to decide whether to put her down on all fours or bend her over a chair!
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Aug 23, 2005 8:26:47 AM CDT
Holy shit... I laughed until I cried at the picture of Keenan wi
by big bad clone
"Are these an ass load of snakes on my arm. Stewardess" 'We're called steward, now" "Oh, okay, cool. Um...are thses snakes on my arm?" "Sir, I must assure you, i"m already a member of the mile high club and won't fall for such tricks again"
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reverse racism is son 90s....
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Voiceover guy: "In a world where SNAKES...fly in PLANES..."
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why won't anyone give this a chance as straight-up social commentary? the snakes on the plane obviously represent the post-9/11 fears that terror, in this case represented by snakes, will jump out of the large diabolical crates of our subconscious psyches while we are all stranded aboard an airplane, or place where we are helpless to fight back against snakes/terror/our subconscious psyches. whoever wrote the film is brilliant i'm sure, ellis's credits are top notch, and we all know sam jackson takes only quality films with lofty aspirations to teach everyone wonderful ife lessons like coach carter and swat. the twist at the end will be that the snakes were all part of our fearful imaginations, terrorism isn't a real threat, live life everyday to the fullest free of care or fear, and remember, the snakes are only in your head. except for jackson's trouser snake, which certain 'people' should really fear, as it has heat seeking radar for every white man's wife/mother/sister's esophogus. cheers.
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does this movie have anything to do with soulplane?
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Snakes on a damn plane...Pure genius!!!
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Snakes on a Plane spells
Sam Jackson's ultimate end
as a major star, mofo!
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...wants you to pass him his "anti-snake gun". It's the one that says "bad motherfucker" on it...
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I just cannot fuckin wait for when the ads come out. When Mr. Trailer, finally at the end of a befuddling and hilarious commercial, announces "Snakes... on a Plane."
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Snakes are really scary and all but I prefer giant mummies like in the fallen ones - at least give us f/x instead of plastic snakes
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...would be if they didn't bother with elaborate fx at all. Instead, they could use literally five or six thousand obviously rubber snakes (from the dollar store, or something). That would be absolute comedy gold, seeing Sam Jackson with a big rubber snake draped over his shoulders and going "AAAACK! AAAACK! A Fuckin' Snake!"...all the while, that "badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerMUSHROOM!MUSHROOM!" song plays in the background. That would be...priceless...
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They decide the only way to defeat the snakes is go into the cargo hold of the plane and release the 20 gorillas they are transporting. After a huge gorilla/snake melee, the gorillas win. Cue happy music and everybody applauds (like they do whenever pilots land airplanes). But just when you think it is over, the gorillas turn on the remaining passengers and the last shot is of a gorilla leaping at the camera. Fade to black. End credits, with bloopers.
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Aug 23, 2005 2:29:03 PM CDT
From the producers of Snakes on Plane comes Tigers on The Tea Cu
by big bad clone
This will sweep the Oscars
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There are some times when you just have to roll with the absurd. And that guy up there who sounds like a bitter studio exec is right. At least it's not a remake. Except for that SNL sketch.
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That musta been some coke binge that studio exec went on to give this the go-ahead.
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Geezus, I think Hollywood has officially hit rock bottom. Nowhere to go but up now.
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MAN GETTING HIT IN GROAN WITH FOOTBALL (man, are the SIMPSONS the greatest thing on god's green earth? I think so.)
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It works on so many levels.
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will Bob Barker be making a cameo in this flick? Get your snakes spayed and de-fanged. See you guys on Plinko.
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As psyched as I am about this, it's gonna be real hard to maintain a "what the f_ck am I watching!?!" grin on my face for 1.5 hours. It's fine in bursts like Sam Jackson's farewell in Deep Blue Sea or the 15 minute Roddy Piper vs. Keith David fight in They Live. Then again, Anaconda was pretty funny.
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He's definitely on the down-slope.
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a sixer and a joint and snakes on a plane...quite possibly the perfect evening
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This film is already solid gold merely thanks to its title. In fact, with a title that that, the more it actually sucks, the better the film will be. I know there's a "cinema relativity" equation in there somewhere, but I suck at math so someone else will have to figure it out. As for Deep Blue Sea, the scene of Jackson's demise is the funniest goddamn piece of 90s cinema bar NONE. Endlessly rewatchable. "We are NOT going to give in! We're--".... *SPLASH! CHOMP!*.... "AAARRRGGHHHH!!!"
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I want to see Komodo Dragons on a Passenger Train
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seriously, lol, this is straight to sci fi channel bad. on the other hand....it could do to planes what "Jaws" did to beaches...lol
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this is brilliant
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I can't believe how many of you guys DON'T see this whole concept as unbelievably cool. SNAKES - ON A PLANE - WITH SAM JACKSON. I mean, COME ON! I know you're all jaded and cynical and very, very hip, but I just don't get it.
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Jon Voight, Anaconda, come on. With all the movies that try to be funny and fail, maybe these types of films are among the last real comedies left. We should lighten up. It could serve a public service too. As someone who gives fuck all about terrorists but has a phobia of snakes, this movie could make me get serious about airport security.
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"Snakes on a Plane?" You have GOT to be kidding me. A movie that is sure to make snake lovers cringe..Anaconda all over again.
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his dying words are... "Now the first thing we're gonna do is cover up this hol-..." thus... You don't know the history of Deep Blue Sea. I know the history of Deep Blue Sea. You're gliber than a Brody with his arm bit off. Peace.
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And he has to gather all the generals together in a war room with a big map of the US showing the snake coverage that will occur if they don't shoot down the plane before it crashes.
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Preferably with the lines: "Get me the president.... I don't care what time it is.... Well then WAKE HIM!" .......It's gold, GOLD!
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will they give the snakes a "cold" with a computer? Will they pull an "Executive Decision" and have a fighter jet connect with the Airliner via a tube and then mongooses will be released through the tubes and all hell will break lose and the snakes will all get ripped up and junk? HUH? WILL IT HAPPEN?! I hope so.
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Vanilla Ice will be on the plane with a mic singing something akin to "Go Mongoose Go" and then the mongooses will dance and stuff. Then Ben Stiller will make a cameo and say "Dinosaur tits!" or something, I don't know.
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seriously how does one go from having "bad mutha fucker" on his wallet to staring in snakes on a plane with fat albert?
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The TB is stretched farther than Courtney Love's pussy. I like the mongoose idea, the final battle being in freefall after the last snake and the last mongoose skydive from the crashing plane. After the mongoose kills the snake, he closes his eyes and waits for the ground to crush his little furry body to pieces. Then a big black hand grabs him. It's Sam Jackson. He yells, "NOT ON MY WATCH, MOTHERFUCKER!" as the chute opens and they land to safety. Then the sleazy head of the airline who was pushing to have the plane shot down comes to greet him with open arms. The mongoose, now on Sam's shoulder, reaches out with his tiny paw and slaps the sleazy airline head, knocking him unconcious and jumps down and takes the keys to his brand new Porshe out of his pocket. Sam yells "I'M GOING BACK TO DRIVING A BUS, MOTHERFUCKER!" and he and his new friend take the sleazy airline head's car and they drive off. As they're driving down the highway, they barely miss a snake that's trying to cross the road. The car stops, backs up and runs over the snake, smooshing it. "YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT ME, MOTHEFUCKER!" fin
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"and I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who......who attempt.... who...aint this some shit, that's a mutha fuckin snake aint it? stewardess what the fuck is a snake doing on this here plane?" "whats that sir" "open your eyes bitch thats a mutha fuckin snake" "what are you talking about sir?" "that's a damn snake over there mother fucker look" "but sir what..." "say what again bitch, I'm begging you, say what again and I promise I'll shoot ya" "what?" BANG
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What if it's all in Sam's head? He's seeing snakes! That could be a funny way to drive a stake in ones career... than again we are talking about the man who survived A Caveman's Valentine or what it was called. Peace.
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Aug 24, 2005 12:22:17 PM CDT
ow I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor... er um on a plane
by trevorfactor
yeah see the poem just doesn't work like that. This movie will suck but not nearly as bad as the subjects of todays TB here at aicn. Halo, sin city, mi3 and that ridiculous aquafag tb really are just not funny or entertaining. Come on people this post is ripe with potential for humor, so please be creative so I don't have to partake in any of those other crappy tb's
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with songs by Bats on Skis.
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also staring a special duet by hogs on hogs and wolves on sheep
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Aug 24, 2005 12:41:10 PM CDT
"Come on people this post is ripe with potential for humor, so p
by neosamurai85
I'm pretty drained from the last Snakes talkback, but give me some names and I'll see if I can think of porn versions by this evening. Comedy is all about response. Ya want the funny? Throw us a bone. Peace.
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neo i missed the last snakes t/b but I'm pretty sure your contribution were on the level. so here's my best: looking at the pictures it's clear fat albert will be played by biggismalls, a bald guy that kinda looks like anthony hopkins and doesn't like when sam touches his crouch will be playing sam's assistant, some young guy with a real hairy back (i imagine) and the stewardess from meet the parents & meet the fockers. did i help get those creative juices flowing?
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is it me or does the picture of fat albert look like he's more concerned about his bling bling watch than the fact that there are SNAKES ON THE PLANE? like; ow shit snakes....is my watch ok?
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yeah well your mother was a hand bag!
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Your Mother Was A Man-Gag, Your Mother Was A Wet Hand Bag, Your Utter Is A Man Sag (You know
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Aug 24, 2005 6:34:42 PM CDT
Oh... and because it should have been said two TBs ago...
by neosamurai85
Snakes In A Dame... crazy Japanese... crazy Americans that watch them... crazy stock figures on Lemur Lube... Peace.
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or "Shit on a Shingle?"
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If this movie makes money then the terrorists have won. Snakes could easily squirm into the cockpit via the ventilation duct and the pilot and co-pilot would die after being bit with venom and the plane could crash into the White House. Therefore this movie is anti-American and pro-Taliban. Osama bin Laden will surely enjoy watching this movie on dvd in his cave in Pakistan mountains.
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