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That Project Greenlight Horror film - FEAST... Apparently - it's really good... No, for real!

Hey folks, Harry here - and I want to see this NOW! This sounds absolutely like a blast! We need it now! I had heard it was good - but this sounds really good. Watch out for spoilers - not that they'll keep ya from wanting to see it. This sounds great.

Hey there,

They screened the PGL flick FEAST tonight.

I have been waiting to hear how Gulager did with this film for months now. For the first time I was actually interested in seeing a Project Greenlight movie. At the very least it looked like it would be an interesting train wreck, but not a boring one. There has been no trailer. I've heard jack shi*% about FEAST. So, I was surprised as hell when I found out about a screening tonight. The red haired man was there. I think the producers were there too, but I definitely saw the Gulager in full force.

I must say, I thought FEAST was going to be bad, but a good kind of bad. Like maybe it would be bloody junk to see but not necessarily brag about.

I've never been so happy to be wrong.

FEAST delivers the goods and I am proud to tell y'all. If the audience was any indication then I am not the only one that jumped, laughed and cringed at the lovely and twisted tapestry that Mr. Gulager wove.

That is not to say there aren't some improvements to be made. Some of the horror is so kinetic that it was hard to keep up with and a few of the threats could use some beefing up, but all in all I can't complain. Feast has "cult" written all over it. Its mix of humor and shocks harkens back to the glory of Tremors and Return of the Living Dead (nice to see Clu Gualger kick like-wise ass in this film as well). The biggest relief of all was there was not a ghost, icky water, or creepy child in this film. It isn't a remake. It isn't a sequel. This is a creature feature pure and simple and it is a bloody one at that. I don't know if all the red stuff will make it to the screen in tact but it was damn plentiful.

I don't think the plot will come as any surprise. It is a bunch of strangers trapped in a bar and fighting for their lives. Okay. Nuff said. Fortunately, more often than not, this sucker turns left when we expect a right. The laughs and jumps come pretty fast and furious once this family of road kill wearing creatures lay siege to the roadhouse. What begins to set this familiar scenario apart is the bizarre nature of the monstrous family and the quips and blunders of the down and out patrons of the tavern. These are not your everyday creatures. For example, if you kill one, they just hump and make two more. If you run for it, they run faster. If you fight, they bite. I don't want to give too much away, but this thing is not afraid to get nasty or clever.

Essentially, Feast becomes a war film as the humans keep trying to outwit these creatures with ever escalating plans of attack and retreat. The goal of the characters: survive. The goal of the creatures: devour.

I would not walk into this film looking for an important character drama. This is a horror film that pokes fun at the clichés we have been force fed for years. FEAST begins with character introduction cards that describe the "type" of person they are in the horror world, complete with a "life expectancy" rating. Some of them are true. Some of them are lies. Gulager never lets the audience get too comfortable. There is always a horrible demise lurking behind the next wrong decision.

The cast is more than game. Henry Rollins is hysterical. He plays an inspirational speaker that has the absolute worst advice for our character's troubled times. Clu Gulager is in fine form and one wonders why the guy isn't in more films these days. In fact the casting of Gulager, Eileen Ryan and the every smarmy Duane Whittaker proves that actors over the age of nineteen can be in movies these days. Judah Friedlander pretty much steals every scene he is in as an especially unlucky dope who spends the entirety of the movie in constant suffering. A real big surprise comes with Krista Allen who has a scene of carnage and vengeance at the end of this bad boy that had the entire audience clapping. I am not kidding. Clapping and cheering for a Greenlight film. I have now seen everything.

One last note, the cinematography is pretty damn wicked. The colors just spill. It reminded me of an Italian horror flick. Gulager's method finds beauty in some of the vilest moments I have seen in a long time. We're not just seeing bloodshed; we're witnessing extreme violence through the eye of an artist. The acerbic humor comes into play just when the carnage stops and helps buoy a number of moments that would have fallen into a flat routine in lesser fare.

If you like it fast, scary and funny here it is. Ladies and Gents, Mr. Gulager has the goods. The FEAST is coming. Now bring on PGL4!!!

P.S. Stay through the credits!

I am:

Mr. Wide-Eyed

Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 17, 2005, 5:20 a.m. CST

    by Darth Twoface


  • Aug. 17, 2005, 5:30 a.m. CST


    by koosbane

    HBO drops Greenlight, so they turn around and finally make a good movie.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 5:46 a.m. CST


    by Zadrock

    I hope this review is on the up and up but my god is screams studio. I'll still go see the movie for Gulager though.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 5:53 a.m. CST

    Those "Character Introduction" cards

    by zer0cool2k2

    If they are anything like the character intros that are in Wicked Prayer, they will ruin the film right off the bat.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 6:42 a.m. CST


    by BitterMan23

    Im hoping this movie is a smash, good or bad, for perhaps itll justify another season of PGL, easily the best reality show ever. I wouldnt care if it was on HBO again or whatever, but it needs to come back, even if it means reading 15 horrible scripts again during the judging...

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 6:47 a.m. CST


    by justaguy

    I'll believe this review once I see the film..............when it's released on DVD.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 7:36 a.m. CST

    It's got to be better than most Sci-Fi channel films...

    by FluffyUnbound why not just air it there?

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 8:28 a.m. CST

    It got a good first review

    by liljuniorbrown

    I watched every episode of PG3 and when they showed it for the first time the audience loved it, it needed some work but for the most part they liked it alot.Even Miramax's big man in charge liked the rough cut so much he dumped more money into it. I'll support this flick the first weekend and if it's as good as i hope it is i'll take friends a few times afterwords,it's all about that opening weekend though. On that note i gotta go off topic and say I really wish that Robert Rodriguez and QT would do another Dusk Til Dawn with George Clooney and Juliet Lewis. That movie gets better to me every time i see it. It wouldn't take a genius to figure where you pick up i mean Juliet Lewis traveling around in the Rv like the bride in Kill Bill or the El Mariachi but as a bad ass Vampire killer. She tracks down GC to maybe off him for getting her family killed but ends up having to work with him again to kill lots and lots of Vampires. Sorry for going on about that off topic shit ,i would just love to see them do that movie,hell if Feast is any good you can let Gulager Direct.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Hail Gulager!!!

    by DarthNameless

    as the one who might have saved Project Greenlight.Fuck You..HBO!!

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 8:50 a.m. CST

    It isn't a remake. It isn't a sequel. It IS a rip-off.

    by Kid Joker

    "It is a bunch of strangers trapped in a bar and fighting for their lives"? I mean come on. It's got From Dusk Till Dawn written all over it. But I could be wrong with how much this is a rip off. Am looking foreward to a trailer.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 9:27 a.m. CST

    "Shaker Heights" would have been better if Shia DeBouf had eaten

    by cookylamoo

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 10:09 a.m. CST

    ...on the plus side, he actually discussed the plot

    by chrth

    Can we get this guy/plant/figment of Damon's imagination to go see Hostel?

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 10:17 a.m. CST

    "Stay after the credits"??

    by BankyFan

    Since when do test screenings have credits. I can't wait for this movie (for reals) but I think this is a Planty O'Flanagan.

  • But, man, is that review ever written in press-release style. Seriously, they shouldn't give the review-writing duties to the guys who write ad copy for a living. It always comes out wrong.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Reviewers who use phrases...

    by Childe Roland "delivers the goods" or "has cult written all over it" should be completely shaven, greased with banana oil and locked in a 10-foot high clear plastic ball with a double-Y-chromosome baboon that hasn't eaten or fucked in weeks. That said, I'll rent this film just to see what kind of movie that Gulager guy made.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 11:46 a.m. CST

    No more "Nuff said"

    by Mister Man

    The phrase is retarded, at best. It reeks of mongoloidism.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 12:54 p.m. CST

    this movie will suck

    by DocMcCoy

    go on with your lives.did anyone read the script?i skimmed it and i saw that a girl (the main girl?) said something along the lines of "ok what we're dealing with is fast and blah blah blah..." i stopped reading and drank windex instead.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Is this a review or an infomercial?

    by Doc_McCoy

    Plant. No chance in hell this movie isn't terrible. Might be better than HOSTEL, though.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 1:02 p.m. CST

    anything's better than hostel.

    by DocMcCoy

    we're like the same person.regardless of an underscore.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 1:07 p.m. CST

    BankFan: Retard?

    by Some Dude

    "Since when do test screenings have credits?" DUMBEST QUESTION OF ALL TIME. It depends how far along the film is. Sometimes they have the final credits, sometimes they have rough credits, sometimes they have no credits, sometimes they have the right credits but the wrong music. So you went to a screening once, good for you, kid, good for you.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 1:09 p.m. CST

    mister man: Agreed.

    by Some Dude

    I hate that phrase and it is usually said by supreme dorks who think they are being cool, funny or definitive when using it. Saying it mean you have nothing to say and have probably said nothing at all.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Re: Nuff Said moratorium

    by Ray Garraty #47

    I agree too. Now if we can just get rid of "meh" along with it.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 2:48 p.m. CST


    by reckni

    A betting man would say Feast will suck balls. Didn't the first two bomb bad? Makes you wonder about the wits of those involved, those that discover "great ideas" and throw money at it recklessly. I hope that show and its products just go away.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 2:49 p.m. CST

    here's Matt Damon's comments

    by Geophyrd

    From LOS ANGELES ( As viewers of the most recent season of "Project Greenlight" will recall, Matt Damon came across as the great defender of quality over commerce, fighting a legion of studio suits to try to select the best script and director for show's third film. Although Damon's support helped land the eccentric, but talented John Gulager the directing gig, he was powerless to prevent Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton's "Feast" from winning the script competition. Many months after the choices were made, Damon has softened somewhat on his losses. "Even though, by their own admission, the people who voted for that script didn't think it was the best script, it probably was the smartest movie to choose because it does, in an odd way, give the project the greatest chance of surviving, because the movie might actually make money," says Damon, on the promotional circuit for his upcoming Terry Gilliam romp "The Brothers Grimm." Despite the long delay between the show's completion and the pending "Feast" release (previous "Greenlight" movies were rushed into theaters almost immediately after the shows ended), Damon has already heard what constitutes enthusiasm from Dimension Films bigwig Bob Weinstein. "Bob's gonna bring it out at Christmas and he was like [transitions into a spot-on Bob Weinstein impression], 'I released this movie 'The Darkness' last year at Christmas. It's the worst movie I've ever seen in my life, this f***ing 'Darkness,' but it's a great slot. 'The Darkness' made 22 million. So I'm putting 'Feast' in the 'Darkness' slot,'" Damon is clearly getting into it now, as he continues to mimic the Weinstein brother. "'F***ing 'Feast' is 'Citizen Kane' compared to 'The Darkness.'" Several points of clarification: The most recently announced release date for "Feast" is Jan. 20, 2006, though it may yet get the Yuletime spirit. Weinstein did, indeed, release "Darkness," which starred Anna Paquin, last Christmas, over a year-and-a-half after it came out in the rest of the world. The negative pick-up, which was budgeted at just over $10 million, did manage to make $22 million domestically. As for Weinstein's critical appraisal of the film, it has a robust 95 percent "Rotten" rating over at It would be very difficult for "Feast" not to surpass "Stolen Summer" (roughly $119,841 domestic) and "The Battle of Shaker Heights" ($279,282 domestic) as the most successful film in "Project Greenlight" history. However, the transition from HBO to Bravo wasn't a smooth one for "Greenlight." Bravo never figured out how to promote the show and had difficulties keeping it in a stable time period and the resulting ratings were painfully low. "The show was really good this year and yet we had horrible horrible ratings," Damon acknowledges. "When we were in conversation with Bravo, they were like, 'Look, the show is good,' we got the best reviews of any show on television, and they said, 'But there's a certain number,' and they showed us the number and I'm not a TV guy, but they said, 'Look, this number, no matter what, we can't bring the show back... This is just terrible, we can't justify keeping it on air.'" A recent Emmy nomination in reality television category may give the show a minor boost and if "Feast," a creature feature starring Navi Rawat and Krista Allen, can turn a profit, Damon thinks "Project Greenlight" might somehow be salvaged. "It's up in the air right now," he says. "I suspect if the movie does well enough, maybe Bob would help with it, maybe there's some way to get them all to do it one more time, but it's on a respirator."

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 3:24 p.m. CST

    A New Tune by Jimmy Page and Robert...

    by stlfilmwire


  • Aug. 17, 2005, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Why is talkback so painful?

    by saint6

    Maybe the guy's a plant, maybe not. I'm not gonna see the movie until someone reputable has reviewed it, so who cares what this putz has to say now? It's like some of these guys have invested their own money in making sure a movie tanks. By the way, "BankFan: Retard? by Some Dude?" Deadpan funny as hell.

  • Simple rule: no decapitation or chest-bursting or impalement, it's not horror.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Pass the peanuts, pleaze!

    by osamahosana

    Whichever studio head or his flunky hired this peanut farmer, please do us a favor. Fire him now. Incompetence. "The cast is game?" LOL.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Hopefully this will keep "Project Greenlight" afloat

    by Ribbons

    Although I guess I like the show more in theory than in practice. Eh, whatever.

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 4:36 p.m. CST

    It's Feastastic!

    by Moonrocks

    I saw Feast and it's the scariest movie since The Ring! John Gulager is the next M. Night Shyamalan! Riveting! Suspensful! You'll be gripping your seats and screaming down the asails! It's so scary, the creators will give you a "fright break" just before the climax so you can leave the theatre. Paramedics will be standing by! WARNING: If you have an existing heart condition or if you're pregnant, you may want to consult your physician before seeing FEAST. Only Haloween III is scarier than this movie! (p.s. I'm not a plant, but I play one on tv...)

  • Aug. 17, 2005, 8:06 p.m. CST

    a FEASTivus for the restivus!!

    by calami-shami


  • Aug. 18, 2005, 5:24 a.m. CST

    Plant, could be, but...

    by lobsterman

    Believe me, the last thing a studio wants to admit they have is a movie with, "cult written all over it" or tout "old people" in their film. Cult = limited audience. That said, you have to suspect anyone who uses bad boy as in, "...carnage and vengeance at the end of this bad boy..." Stay out of the sun. Lobsterman.

  • Aug. 18, 2005, 9:04 a.m. CST


    by justaguy

    This review feels like some studio worker writing coverage on a script. Also, who the hell opens a letter with "hey, there"

  • Aug. 18, 2005, 3:38 p.m. CST

    R.C.'s opinion: Maaaaaaaaaaatttt Daaammmmonnn!!

    by R.C. the "Wise"

  • Aug. 19, 2005, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Krista Allen: fantastic tits

    by alexnivek


  • Aug. 20, 2005, 12:32 p.m. CST

    This movie won't just scare you...

    by idledead

    It'll fuck you up for life!