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Another extremely bad review for SOLDIER
Harry here, and boy does this fella just ravage the heck out of SOLDIER, so far the score here at home is 15 negatives to 2 positives. Maaaaan, if this movie sucks, I'll be so pissed. I love Kurt Russell, and I really liked the script, but ya know... Paul Anderson has sucked pretty consistantly so far (Event Horizon, Mortal Combat), so it is possible. But this was an early screening. Maybe they can fix some of it. Ya think? I hope so, cause I want to like the film. We'll know more the closer we get to release.
I recently saw a
test
screening of "Soldier" (OK, it wasn't that recent, but I haven't seen
anything
on your site about it, so maybe nobody else has scooped me yet). Well, let
me
lay it down straight. The movie sucked hard-core. I know that it was an
unfinished test screening, blah, blah, but the only possible way this movie
could be saved would be to start over completely from scratch and make a
completely different movie. More than just sucking, it was laughable. The
script was ludicrous, it made Rambo: First Blood look like King Lear. (No
disrespect to Rambo, which I liked.) Kurt Russel mumbles and glares his way
through the film like some kind of killing-machine, idiot savant in an
extremely silly one-dimensional performance. Of course, there has to be a
little kid who softens the tough soldier's heart, and this movie provides
that
obligitory sub-plot in an embarrasingly awkward and smarmy sub-plot. This
film
is being billed as a "sci-fi western." Unfortunately it desecrates both of
those noble genres.
Quick synopsis: Perfect Soldier Russel, recently deemed obsolete, is
uncermoniously dumped on a garbage planet where he encounters an incredibly
peaceful and good natured group of natives. (Actuall people who were
stranded
like him.) They take him in because they are peaceful and good natured.
Russell, in their care has all sorts of flashbacks and goes a little haywire
from time to time. (Oh yeah, and he doesn't speak at all - Shouldn't a good
soldier have been taught to COMMUNICATE in battle? Apparently not.) Of
course
the people debate whether or not to kick the unstable soldier out and they
eventually do. In the extremely convenient plot device category, a platoon
of
the new genetically enginered soldiers arrives on the garbage planet and
their
commander decides to arbitrarily wipe out the peace-loving indigenous
population so his soldiers can gain "experience." Since when did blowing
away
unarmed women and children (at long range with super-weapons no less) give
soldiers a "trial by fire?" One of the many ridiculous plot points built on
retarded reasoning. Russel single handedly destroys the invasion force,
blah,
blah, blah. I've already spent too much time describing this dog's "plot."
Direction was paint-by numbers, automatic pilot. The script was
probably the
worst I've ever seen produced in years, (Did I already say it sucked? It
bears
repeating.) full of every ridiculous action cliche in the book, and was
filled
with an overall complete inanity. How many times does a bad guy have to be
impaled? Can't Hollywood think of anything new? Even the "action" in the
movie
was BORING. On top of everything else, this "action movie" commits the
unforgivable sin, it is not in the least way exciting. Lame, lame, lame. I'm
sure when it comes out it will bomb horribly and the perpetrators of this
crime against humanity will be suitably punished. Thank you for your time
Harry. If you see fit to use this "scoop" then let my alias be... "The
Unforgiving."
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+ Expand All
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surely SOLDIER the movie can not be as BAD as SOLDIER the trailer....truly one of the most awful pieces of SHIT i've seen sitting in a theatre seat!
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Well, Soldier will probably suck anyway, no matter who is in it. If this movie definately flops at the box-office, then director Paul Anderson will need to go back to film school and learn how to make a film. His pictures are so much like typical video games. I mean, there was this one film Anderson made in Britain (anyone know the title), but that was very different from Soldier, Mortal Kombat, and Event Horizon. Maybe Star Trek: Insurrection will be the better choice, since it does come out this December. Even if this 9th Trek movie sucks, it'll more and likely have a better story and special effects than the cheesy Soldier.
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This review makes me want to see it even more. Yeah the director, plot, and overall style might be lame but hey put a gun in Kurt Russel's hands and im a happy man. Also, since when has bad guys bieng impaled been a bad thing. In fact this guy is an idiot, when i go to see soldier all im going to want to see is Kurt killin' things and that's it. It's the same damn thing with blade, if you walk in lookin to see "The Color Purple" you are not gonna be happy whereas if you walk in looking to see Wesley Snipes Killin some vampires you will be a happy man.
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Why this obvious strike at Paul's movie and Warner Bros was posted MONTHS after the last test screening is, well, shitty.
Paul is absolutely one of the nicest, kindest, schooled (he know more obscure movies...), wonderful film maker. Go see 'SHOPPING' classic car chases. Granted, 'EVENT HORIZON' & 'MORTAL COMBAT' aren't exactly classics, but they are visually kick ass.
Lay off Paul, he is a schooled and kind man who will someday deliver the goods, no doubt. -
Usually, a movie fails in my eyes thanks to subverted expectations. The fellow in the earlier post points out The Color Purple; I was disappointed in that movie mainly because I was expecting lots of karate. Then there's Roadhouse, a movie that left me wishing that it had been a more delicate treatise on race relations, rather than the overblown action spectacular that it was. With Soldier, I'm simply expecting a garden variety "Wild Kingdom" episode with some terrific surfing footage, and a score by early-80's rocker, Aldo Nova. Is that so much to ask?
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I think Paul Anderson should just forget the sci-fi genre. His best movie was Boogie Nights.
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This is the part where everybody chimes in about what an idiot Billy Bong Thornton is, when that was probably his intention all along. For the record, Hard Eight is definitely worth checking out, too.
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Paul Anderson, director of "Mortal Kombat" and "Event Horizon" is NOT the same guy as Paul THOMAS Anderson, director of "Hard Eight" and "Boogie Nights". You think directors just throw in their middle names every other movie or something?
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Mortal Kombat is the best martial arts movie made in over a decade. Sure, Event Horizon was a piece of crap. But it looked great. All Paul Thomas needs is a good script. WHOEVER that guy was who said this is just like Mario Van Peeble's "Solo" is RIGHT. Lets just pray that the bad guy in this movie doesn't have a stupid gatling-gun-hand-attachment thing like that guy had in "Solo". Man, that movie was a turd!
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OK, OK, so this movie looks like a dog and no one is exactly soiling themselves while watching the trailer, but we should not be so quick to poop on Kurt Russell. He is truly one of the most versatile actors of the 1990's, having succeeded at action, drama, elysianism, sci-fi and comedy. If you have any doubts run (don't walk) to your video store and rent Captain Ron...the most underrated sea adventure/family comedy of the decade.
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If, for any reason, Soldier becomes a success, Kurt Russell's best movie in my book is "Big Trouble in Little China". He needs to make more movies like those.
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What a piece of crap this movie will turn out to be. Those fuckin hollywood cliches tick me off; originality is the key to a great movie. Soldier will not be a great, or good, or decent, or bad movie. Think" Postman"," Batman 4", or "It's Pat" crap. By the way, nothing can be as bad as it's crap
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Tony, that movie was a pile of crap. You have a good list of movies there...but Event Horizon doesn't belong on that list. Sam Neill should hang his head in shame after signing up for that movie.
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Have to chip in on defence of Mr. Anderson's past record... On both occasions, it was most unexpected but I really enjoyed both Mortal Kombat and Event Horizon. The former achieved what no other film had done before or since...transfer the rollercoaster nature of a video game onto a film and was damm enjoyable for it. Event Horizon didn't work completely but had great music, great atmosphere, great visuals and was slightly different from the norm (even if it was Hellraiser in space). Again, I enjoyed it. As for Soldier.... who knows but the runes are not looking good.
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This was a movie that should have went direct to video if I've ever seen one.
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Throughout watching Event Horizon at the cinema I just thought jayzus they're just burning good money and wasting effects. What a difference a good story would have made. Half the cast looked embarrassed just to be acting in the thing. The film industry has largely forgotten the 3 rules of filmmaking, whatever the genre:
1) STORY!
2) STORY!
3) STORY!
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