Well, the direct-to-DVD Family Guy movie, “Stewie Griffin: The Untold
Story”
has hit the torrent sites, so all those greasy movie pirates can get
their
hands on it. Not me, though. My copy was delivered to my door by the
Stork. *ahem*
Off the top, I want to say I like Family Guy Season 4. Its great to
see the
show back on the air again, and I don’t think they’ve “lost it” or
“FAMILY
GUY SUXS NOW!” The only difference I can tell in the new episodes is
that
they try a single flat out “shock value” gag every week, as opposed to
every
few episodes like in Seasons 1 – 3. But, c’mon people, stop spreading
the
hate! We got Family Guy back on the air – the geeks won for once! Let
us
rejoice and caper and so forth.
Anyway, “Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story”. Right.
First thing’s first. This is rumour control and these are the facts:
1) The whole “Stewie goes on a road trip and discovers that he’s gay”
rumour / plot thingie that was mentioned when the DVD was first
announced –
nope, not in here. Well, ok, there’s a bunch of subtexual stuff you can
read
into the 3rd act/episode about Stewie being gay, but its not explicitly
stated - he doesn’t “out” himself and that’s not an element of the plot
….
Was that rumour ever legit in the first place? Sheesh.
2) As for the hullabaloo about this DVD being Family Guy “UNLEASHED!”
and
“UNCENSORED!” – its fairly standard Family Guy stuff. Ok, they do drop
a
few F-bombs here and there - and by “here and there” I mean 2 in the
first
50 minutes and then about a dozen more in the last 20. Its like they
realized, “Damn, we can swear in this!” right at the end. To be fair,
the
2nd F-bomb that is used is very funny . . . and people will accuse it
of
being stolen from “Anchorman”. Ah well. But if you were wishing /
hoping
for “South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut” levels of unleashed
profanity,
this isn’t it. Probably because that “Untold” will be aired on FOX
eventually so they couldn’t just have full-on penetration shots or
whatever
sickos like you and me are looking for. However, if the biggest
complaint
about “Untold” is that there isn’t enough swearing in it, that ain’t
much of
a complaint at all.
Key to understanding “Untold” is that it is, aside from the (very
funny) DVD
premiere bookend scenes (totalling about 15+ minutes of screentime), it
is
basically a supersized 3-part episode of Family Guy. I mean that very
literally; you can see where they would transition from one episode to
another and the opening credits include writing stamp for “Part 1”,
“Part
2”, “Part 3”. There are complete “B-plots” that are wrapped up in 20
minutes
in the first 2 episodes. So if anyone is pissed at this, cry “RIP
OFF!!”
and let slip the dogs of Talkback. The disconnected feel of it is
probably
because “Untold” is going to air on FOX as a 3-parter. However, the
individual episodes that make up “Untold” are a little longer than your
average episode, so a whole bunch of stuff is going to have to be cut
out.
The opening act / episode is about Stewie learning to swim which leads
to a
near-death experience after he tries to blow up the best swimmer in the
class. The “B plot” in this episode is Peter getting a job as a
talking
head on Channel 5 Action News for the new “Grind My Gears” segment.
There’s
some real fun stuff if you love Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons. (is it
just me
or is Diane’s rack getting bigger every season? Anyone? Nah, its
probably
me.) Peter’s antics aside, there is also a great bit when Stewie and
Brain
go out and get trashed at the Drunken Clam. Stewie singing “Suicide
Is
Painless” and seeing the two bicker over a game of Pac Man (“I’m not
gonna
get the fruit, there’s a ghost right there!!”) is a fun character
moment
between the duo. This all wraps up with a shocking revelation that
leads to
the next Act. (on TV, this’ll probably be followed by a subpar episode
of
“American Dad”. Joy.)
Act 2 / episode 2 is Stewie and Brian setting out to find a man whom
Stewie
believes is his real dad they hitch a ride with Quagmire on his “Cross
Cuntry Tour” (no, that’s not a typo). Its basically another “Road to
Rode
Island” / “Road to Europe” episode. I really like those episodes, so I
enjoyed it. (the opening credits of “Untold” recalls the opening
credits of
those 2 episodes – check out the blink-and-you’ll miss it Star Trek V
reference) The “B-plot” of this segment is Lois and Peter teaching Meg
and
Chris how to hook up with the opposite sex. (“Meg, when you’re done
with
me, you’ll be beatin’ guys off with both hands!” Peter enthusiastically
predicts.) But the real strength of this is, as always, seeing Stewie
and
Brian bounce off each other. Ah, odd couple pairings. God, I love the
classics.
The best stuff is the 3rd act / episode, and I don’t want to spoil the
twist
that drives the episode. Besides, it’ll probably A) already been
spoiled B)
be spoiled in other reviews or C) will be spoiled in the Talkbacks
anyway BY
SOMEONE POSTING IN CAPITAL LETTERS!!! So just scroll down if you want
to
find out.
Now that I think about it, I may be too harsh on this whole “3-parter”
thing
because the main plot wraps up nicely, and even the dating b-plot from
the
previous episode are given an interesting twist. But it its rough to
say it
holds together as an entire “movie” – each act is structured as an
episode
so inside each episode there’s another 3 acts! It can get kind of
aggravating if you’re thinking that hard, but it doesn’t shoot a hole
in the
plot or anything.
But, seriously, screw all that noise. This is Freakin’ Family Guy
we’re
talkin’ about here – what does plot matter? Honestly. We all know what
the
show is really about – randomness and small little crazy moments.
In an average episode of Family Guy there’s about 10 minutes of story
and 12
minutes of just randomly bizarre, cutaway comedic non-sequiturs. And
this
is magnified times 3.5 over the course of “Untold”. Now, if you’ve
chain
watched Family Guy episodes after picking up the DVD sets (and I know
you
have. Yes, you.) this’ll be easy and fun to sit through. For the
uninitiated, their heads might explode.
As for the cutaways / “Do you remember when” / “this is like the time”
jokes, there’s a lot of good, solid geek references throughout:
Superman and
Wonder Woman, Thundercats, “These aren’t the droids you’re looking
for”,
Steve Bartman, 2 Indiana Jones references, and more. These gags happen
approximately every 30 seconds and some people will either love it or
hate
it.
To be fair, not all of these are just a sampling of pop culture
references.
For every Johnny Quest gag there’s another character based or bizarre
situational cutaway / gag waiting immediately after that. So before
more
rants start up about, “Blah, blah, blah, stupid Family Guy is stupid
because
its just about stupid pop culture references, you stupids.” No, it’s
not.
Shut up.
For my money, the best jokes in the whole movie are 1) “This is even
more
disturbing than that cartoon is saw the other day” (I’ve been waiting
to see
something like that for years) 2) the scene when Stewie is all hopped
up on
pills he got at a truck stop (“The Pioneers, Brian! We share their
spirits!
Manifest destiny!!”) 3) Peter’s butchering of the Spider-Man theme
song as
he seduces Lois. 4) Wacky Wavy Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man!
(“African
American? Hail a cab!”) Oh, and there’s also a good gag involving
Micheal
Chiklis and a talking pair of testicles (this joke probably won’t make
it to
air on TV) And also the real funny Futurama/ Entertainment Weekly /
neck
breaking gag at the start of the movie. Really, I could sit here and
rattle
off a dozen different quickie gags, but you get the point, its all
bizarre
“Family Guy” randomness fun and the tally is higher on the “hits” than
the
“miss” scoreboard.
For Family Guy freaks, all whole bunch of minor characters pop up
throughout
– greased Up Deaf Guy, Randy Newman, Blackie Williams, Evil Monkey,
Mayor
Adam West, and others. But they never overpower the scenes; they just
pop
up, do their thing and take off. There’s at least 3 scenes of someone
getting hurt and failing around on the ground in agony. No giant
chicken
fight gag, though. Sorry.
The voice actors (ie. Mostly Seth McFarlane) are all in top form. For
some
reason, I always laugh whenever Stewie starts yelling. Alex Borstien
seems
to really enjoy saying the word “Fuck”. I believe that Milia Klunis is
starting to become much, much better at this whole voice acting thing.
Maybe the time off did her good, but Meg seems to “pop” a lot more in
Season
4 than she did in previously. And, yes, the continual, mean-spirited,
random
put-downs of her character continue unabated in “Untold”.
So the big $30.00 list-price question would be: is this worth your
cash?
For Family Guy geeks, fans and DVD completists, that’s a big yes.
Sure,
it’ll air for free on TV as a 3-parter (and probably on the eventual
Season
4 DVD set), but they’ll have to hack it to iddy biddy bits to meet the
airtime requirements. All of these random little moments will be
chopped
out and the smattering of “edgier” materiel will be gone. So just for
little things that’ll be lost once “Untold” is churned through the Fox
censor sanitizer, this is worth the purchase. Its as much fun as
Family Guy
can be and the flick is very rewatchable (I’ve watched it twice already
today). As for people who would just be casually interested in it –
wait for
it to air on FOX and then pick up the DVD later on if you like what you
see.
“Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story” pretty great all around for people
who
love the show. Just don’t expect anything too different. Its not
“South
Park: BLU” or anything, but it’s a decent set of episodes rolled
together.
Besides, I still want to see what special features they pack onto this
bad
boy when it’s released. Anyway, I better roll now. This “review” is
dragging on too long and pointless, and the Stork is demanding to do
perverse things to my body as payment for the DVD. Enjoy the flick/ 3
parter!
Either trollin’ in the AICN talkbacks, or standing in front of you @ a
concert, I’m still:
Tall_Boy
PS – I am a plant on the FOX payroll.
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