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#6 | 6/22/05 | align=right> #4 |
(Click title to go directly to the review)
DREAM POLICE #1
CATWOMAN #44
QUEEN & COUNTRY: DECLASSIFIED Vol 3 #1
LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #7
SUPREME POWER #17
DOOM PATROL #13
DOC FRANKENSTEIN #3/SHAOLIN COWBOY #3
TEEN TITANS #25
Indie Jones presents DEEP FRIED vol 2 #1-2
Indie Jones presents G.I. SPY #1
CHEAP SHOTS!
DREAM POLICE # 1
Written by J. Michael Straczynski
Art by Mike Deodato Jr.
Published by Icon / Marvel
Reviewed by Cheap Maverik
Buzz Maverik sincerely apologizes to Bun E., Rick, Tom and Robin.
HELLO THERE!
Mother told me, yes she told me, I'd meet Talkbackers like you. She also told me, "Stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch!"
WRITING ON THE WALL
And the art! DREAM POLICE # 1 is the new book from Marvel's Icon imprint, which appears to be creator owned comics by some of the biggest names at Marvel, such as POWERS by Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Avon Oeming, and David Mack's KABUKI. I'm happy to report that DREAM POLICE # 1 is a worthy addition to this roster.
According to this book, our dreams take place in a collective unconscious. When aspects of our dreams or other dreamers act up, hard boiled cops come to the rescue.
CALIFORNIA MAN
Don't bother looking for the mystic dreamscape of Neil Gaiman's SANDMAN. All of the dreams here take place in a netherworldly version of Los Angeles. Well, according to novelist Daniel Pinkwater, Los Angeles doesn't really exist anyway.
THE WRITER'S ALRIGHT! THE ARTIST'S ALRIGHT! THEY JUST SEEM A LITTLE WEIRD!
DREAM POLICE was created by J. Michael Straczynski, currently writing THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, THE FANTASTIC FOUR, and SUPREME POWER for Marvel; and also by artist Mike Deodato Jr., known for his superb work on THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN and THE INCREDIBLE HULK.
These guys have a great concept and the police procedural aspects make for great plots and situations. Together, they keep the human behavior and the visuals realistic, which makes it easier to by the fact that anything can happen.
My only problem with the concept is that the main character, Joe Thursday, is obviously a parody of the Joe Friday character from the many versions of Jack Webb's DRAGNET. Parody is great, but are we going to be following a character that is a parody in DREAM POLICE # 57 ? It's not a broad parody but I wish Mr. Straczynski would have gone the POWERS or TOP TEN route and created straight up, original police officer characters. I suppose that DRAGNET'S main cop could be an archetype inspired by the dream world, except that I don't think Jack Webb ever dreamed.
AUF WIEDERSEHEN
Good night, ladies and gentlemen! Good night, ladies and gents! Sayonara! Good night! Auf wie-der-sehen! Good night!
CATWOMAN #44
Writer: Will Pfeifer
Penciller: Pete Woods
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee
Two things I want to get out of the way right now. One, am I the only one who sees the irony in someone with the last name “Pfeifer” writing a Catwoman comic? And two, I’ll be damned if Pete Woods hasn’t shown amazing potential and growth with his art this issue. Apparently, Mr. Woods inked himself with this issue, and it is leaps and bounds above what I’ve seen from him before. In fact, it’s arguably one of the best looking issues I picked up this week. And that’s saying a lot given there were some outstanding efforts by the likes of Jae Lee, Mike Mignola, Gary Frank, etc. But lemme talk about the book a bit before getting out more thoughts on the creators.
If there’s anything to say about this issue, it’s that it definitely has a free-wheeling attitude that perfectly fits the character of Catwoman. Starting off, we see get an altercation between our title character and some random schmuck in a flying suit of armor. Between the way our protagonist deftly disposes of said schmuck, and a little run in with some of the “kind” officers of the Gotham City Police Department, we get a immediate feel that Mr. Pfeifer knows the character. She’s quick on her feet, both figuratively and literally. She’s got a taste for flair and risk-taking, but she knows when things have gotten serious and need to be treated as such. And she’s got one driving goal she’s focused on, that of protecting her beloved East End section of the cesspool of crime known as Gotham.
Ok, so our writer knows who he’s writing about… Does that mean the book is good?
Well, yes and no.
It definitely feels fun, has some great actions sequences, and a great cliffhanger. But the way it is executed to get to the cliffhanger feels off somehow. Jarring may be the best way to say it. We go from the awesome, action-filled opening, to a quick shot of Hush watching the encounter as Catwoman swings off to take a bit of a breather. As soon as she gets back though, she gets called back to duty as it appears out of no where, her friend and accomplice, Holly, is trapped in a Deli being held up by none-other than Batman rogue, Scarface. Catwoman then swings quickly back into action to dispatch of Scarface in an admittedly clever and amusing manner. Then we shift right back to another breather for our hero as we see the payoff for these two random encounters. It seems that with Black Mask running loose as the new Crime Lord of Gotham there’s a crime wave about… one that’s heading right towards Catwoman’s East End. As Selina rolls this thought around in her head, she is then confronted by Hush, who is packing a proposal for dealing with the “criminal element”, as he puts it. If Selina infiltrates the Gotham branch of S.T.A.R. Labs for him, then he can use the stolen material to discourage the criminals from trying to carve a piece of the East End for themselves. And we see by the next page apparently Selina has agreed… to get a mystery item for one of the most dangerous Batman villains out there… does that sound a bit odd to anyone else out there, or is it just me?
After all this we’re greeted by more of Catwoman being Catwoman—quick, silent, dangerous and intelligent. More beautifully rendered action abounds. And then there’s the aforementioned great, but as you now can see misguided, cliffhanger.
So like I said earlier, this issue is a bit of a mixed bag. Definitely lots of positives in terms of character establishment and art, but a lot of room for improvement too. The story is solid but a bit forced and non-sensical at times, but it can be salvaged. And the Woods art is a giant leap above what I’ve seen from him previously, but I can say that some more work can be used on his facial expressions at times as on the random occasion the characters have this weird, wide-eyed or glassy-eyed look to them.
I will definitely be sticking around for at least the rest of the arc to see how our fledgling crew develops on this title, and I have seen enough to have faith they’ll do a bang-up job.
QUEEN & COUNTRY: DECLASSIFIED, Vol. 3 #1 (of 3)
Writer: Antony Johnston
Artist: Christopher Mitten
Publisher: Oni Press
Reviewed by: Dave Farabee
Writer Antony Johnston had best watch out.
His first issue of QUEEN & COUNTRY: DECLASSIFIED deals in Northern Ireland violence, see, and I’m pretty sure Garth Ennis copyrighted that theme (or at least all comic book depictions thereof). So to Mr. Johnston, I’m just saying: watch your back, man. If you’ve ever read a Garth Ennis comic, you know that’s one Irishman you don’t want thinking up methods of revenge.
On the plus side…damn good story! Maybe Garth should watch his back. And Greg Rucka, too. It’s worthy of note that this is the first QUEEN & COUNTRY story not penned by Rucka, and expecting either a fiasco or something too humdrum to write about, I found myself pleasantly surprised.
This issue kicks off with a gritty hostage rescue scenario in ’81 – Brit special forces (SAS) breach an IRA safe house and come out on top, but not without a price. The one scene sets the stage for everything to come, impressing me with its economy (four pages of taut action and – BANG – moving on!). There was a panel or two where the artist lost me in the chaos, but the tight writing instantly had me thinking I should check out more from scribe Johnston (maybe Oni’s LONG HAUL? Heard that was good, and the underrated Eduardo Barretto draws.)
In the wake of the hostage debacle, Johnston moves into a staccato series of jump-cuts for the rest of the story. He follows one of the surviving IRA terrorists in prison (and later, looking to hook up with his old crew), drops in on the SAS barracks to show us the troops going up against the IRA (including regular QUEEN & COUNTRY agent Nick Poole in his pre-espionage days), and keeps up with the politicized life of a little girl who was among the hostages in the opening sequence. It’s a good bit to keep track of. In fact, I was bothered early on by Johnston’s many jump-cuts (all of ‘em bouncing around chronologically), but by the issue’s blistering finale I felt things really came together. From that perspective, the precariousness of risking reader confusion by going from ’81 to ’03 to ’86 and back to ’03 – and that’s just within the first ten pages! - actually paid off. As a reader, I got the sense of “things falling into place” that can be very satisfying after a writer bounces you around seemingly recklessly.
With any QUEEN & COUNTRY story, the devil’s very much in the details, and Johnston definitely steps to the plate in Rucka’s stead. He brings conviction to the military jargon, the paranoia of the terrorists, and the coarse camaraderie (and occasional underlying xenophobia) of the SAS. I was especially taken with the subtlety of that last item. At one point, we see a planned military strike completely derail because the SAS troops have dehumanized the enemy to the point that they fail to properly analyze the rationale of a planned terrorist act. “…who knows what goes on in Paddy’s mind,” muses the planner rhetorically. Don’t misunderstand: the story in no way sympathizes with terrorists, but it does touch on how their dehumanizing acts can lead counter-terrorist forces to underestimate their intelligence.
Getting back to writer switch-ups on this book: I can’t say as I’m big on Rucka gallivanting around and making big bucks at DC when I want him toiling in semi-obscure brilliance on QUEEN & COUNTRY (what do I care if his kids are fed?), but I have to admit: the book feels like it’s in good hands with Johnston. I can see him filling in on future outings, as he seems to have Rucka’s eye and ear for the politics and grit of real espionage. I’m not huge on his artistic collaborator, Christopher Mitten, but the guy’s easily solid enough to carry the story. I see some of Mike Mignola’s quirks, some of Walt Simonson’s quirks, and 95% good storytelling…but for whatever reason, it’s just not exciting as a package.
Ah well. I’m just happy to see a book of QUEEN & COUNTRY’s caliber returning, so a non-reaction to the artist is hardly what I’d call a problem.
Recommended. Good try-out issue, too, for those curious about the series or just jonesing for some spy comics that don’t feature Hydra and Helicarriers. It’s a three-issue mini, so not such a huge commitment as try-outs go.
Don’t be shy.
LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #7
Writer: Mark Waid
Artists: Barry Kitson/Art Thibert
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Prof. Challengiac 5.0
T'was mayhap two or more months prior that the Professor reviewed MARK WAID'S LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES. In that learned critique, this writer complimented a number of things, but he also lamented a few things. Ultimately this writer resolved that he was unsure whether he genuinely enjoyed the book or not.
Well, one must utter now that although the narrative is still a minuscule more stygian and acrimonious than it needs be, one regards it favorably for the non. Mr. Waid has tardily acquainted the book with a sly perception of wit that ingratiates itself upon one. At times the wit is of the subtle and adult sort, but other times it glories in its own juvenile nature – apropos for a congregation of youthful striplings.
The attribute one admires most about the book is Mr. Waid's conspicuous and positively-tinged nostalgic nods to the rich legacy of the prototypical version of the Legion. The inverted rocket design for their headquarters inspires one to grin every time one sees it. One continues to be well-pleased by the manner in which the nouveau garments this newest Legion enclothe themselves with, strongly evoking those raiment designs so well-rendered by Sir David Cockrum many years prior, yet fancifully incorporating modernity and novelty.
One's intermediate attribute most admired is how Mr. Waid brings a contemporary interpretation to each of these familiar personae – frequently by re-imagining their respective home worlds. Upon this occasion, Colu, the esteemed Brainiac 5's home world, receives the "Waid styling." The Brobdingnagian population of Colu is 16.3 trillion and their planet is too Llilliputian to hold such a voluminous amount of full-sized humanoids. So how might the "descendants" of Brainiac resolve such a complicated equation? Quite simple, my dear Reader. They did unto themselves the same thing Brainiac did unto the Kryptonian metropolis known as Kandor – they minified themselves. Thereafter they might continue to increase the population of Colu without shedding one unnecessary bead of perspiration in anxiety about overcrowding concerns. Feeling crowded? Shrink yon entire population a scant bit more.
The tertiary attribute most admired by this writer is that Mr. Waid, while introducing his "reimagination" of oft-familiar elements of the Legion, has not succumbed to the otiose option of reintroducing classic Legion villains at this juncture. Rather, he has assumed a role most similar to that of the original Legion writers and instead chooses to introduce original opponents for the Legion to confront.
The singular reservation one maintains about Mr. Waid's stylistic excursions throughout the pages of this book is a slight anxiety as to whether they may be overly "clever" and he may find himself literally "written into a corner" in an accelerated fashion. For example, the villain of this piece, Lemnos, is a character who has developed the ability to avoid perception – by ocular perception, auditory perception, and even by mechanical device. Moreover, when Lemnos does deign to allow himself to be perceived, upon the moment in which he is out of perceptive range, all cognitive recollection of his very existence is as a vapor. Almost too clever, would not you agree, dear Reader? The previous issue disturbed this writer when yon cutthroat miscreant appeared to Brainiac 5 and regaled Brainiac 5 of all his arcanum. Just to rub salt into the wound, Lemnos took his leave of Brainy and his swiftly fading memory of the confrontation. This issue, one is pleasantly surprised by the resourcefulness of a twelfth-level intelligence.
Brainiac 5, before his memory of Lemnos had evaporated into the ether, had the presence of mind to leave himself the quickest of messages on his computer. To prevent it from disappearing as well, Brainiac 5 made sure that the missive was not directly related to Lemnos. However, the text contained enough to inform Brainiac 5 that Colu was next in queue for annihilation. Mr. Waid did not disappoint this writer with his ingenious solution to the conundrum of how the Legion could face off against the villainous Lemnos. It is, therefore, a direct result of this clever inventiveness, as well as that Phantom Girl short piece a few issues back, that compels this writer to place his valued confidence in Mr. Waid for the duration. One is filled with the greatest of expectations as to where the next few narratives might take these characters and one especially looks forward to the multitude of new interpretative twists he may provide on the origins and exploits of the reliable old LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES. Ah, but allow me to offer a lament for R.J. Brande. Where might he be?
I'll be SUPERAMALGAMATED!
SUPREME POWER #17
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Penciller: Gary Frank
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Humphrey Lee
I should be ashamed to say it, but I’m really going to miss all the naked boobies in this book when it ceases being a MAX title and moves to the MARVEL KNIGHTS imprint. And it’s not just because I love naked comic book boobies…I do. But every time I open this book and see the nudity (nudity which actually has a point most of the time) I realize that putting “Superman” in such an adult environment is what makes this book so special. The reason it’s so special is because we get to see, in a way, what one of the most iconic figures in our culture would be like if everything wasn’t all just “peaches and cream” like it tends to be in comics. This super-powered alien didn’t crash land to end up still being raised by a loving and nurturing family. He didn’t get to grow into his powers under the guidance of those who wanted him to see that doing good for just the sake of doing good was all the reason and reward he needed. This Superman was lied to. He was manipulated and raised not to be a hero, but a weapon. And this darker take on it all needs to be just that: dark. The violence needs to be brutal, the surrounding themes mature, or else all this potential for one of the greatest comic stories ever will be lost. I sincerely hope they can still keep this up after the move to MK, but I’m skeptical until I see it so…
Oh holy shit! I still need to review this issue!
Well ok, here in this issue we see a lot of plot ideas coming together. Mark Milton, our resident Superman, is becoming more and more disgruntled and disillusioned with the world around him. He’s finally starting to realize that maybe the people around him aren’t worth it, but that maybe it’s because he’s never really “lived.” All these years of being lead around by his “parents” and the government they worked for and he’s coming to desire all the things denied him by his blind loyalty. And what better play to discover yourself than in a strip club? As Mark is starting to study his more carnal side, he is also confronted with a familiar military man, resulting in an exchange of subtle and very-not-subtle threats towards each other, both coming off as legitimately scary. The way that Mark is coming off as so matter-of-factly just makes me dread, albeit curiously, what could happen if he slips more, to coin a phrase, “To the Darkside.” Especially given the way this issue ends, and the eeriness of the closing panel.
Things are also rolling more on the Doctor Spectrum and Zarda fronts. A brief confrontation between the two starts to give some insight to the nature of Zarda herself and the gem that gives Spectrum his power. Some of the more catching bits come through the eyes of Spectrum’s little aquatic buddy, the recently dubbed Kingsley. The little tidbits we catch through her eyes and that come from the mouths of the two characters actually involved are intriguing enough (they’re in some sort of trance-like state and conversing with each other). Having Kingsley being able to follow along is, to me, a nice little way of kind of bumping up her importance in the overall story at hand, as up to now she’s been nothing more than, well, some little naked fish girl who occasionally gets angry.
Overall this is another solid issue in a great series. The book tends to fall a little bit into that rut of “This is your action issue and this is your story issue” but either way it’s never boring. Even the slowed down “story issues” like this one will give you bits and pieces in a very nicely paced out way, and always with great character dialogue and interaction. I really do hope that this keeps up. I know it sounds kind of fanboyish to say what I did earlier, but I’m definitely a supporter of the “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” line of reasoning. But I do know that the quality of this book definitely warrants giving it a fair shot.
DOOM PATROL #13
Written by John Byrne
Art by John Byrne and Terry Austin
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Superhero
When I originally found out that John Byrne was going to be working on DOOM PATROL and bringing back the original team I was ecstatic. I mean, John Byrne working on the Doom Patrol???? Anyone who knows anything about John Byrne knows that he loves the Doom Patrol! So was I psyched when Byrne was announced to bring back a team book on which he had never really worked on but always professed a love for? You bet your sweet bippy I was!
Why?
Because I was hoping that if John Byrne was working on characters that he actually loved, that he actually had that warm fuzzy feeling for, he would find his passion again. That his writing would return to the heights of his FANTASTIC FOUR, ALPHA FLIGHT, SUPERMAN, and NEXT MEN runs. That he would dazzle us with twists and turns unheard of in his recent work which had become incredibly lackluster and dispassionate. Especially when using such a team of incredibly bizarre characters like The Doom Patrol! This was John Byrne’s chance to shine once again! To show all those naysayer fans (including myself) and cookie cutter comic writers how it was done! It was going to be old school Byrne the way it used to be! He was back, I hoped. He was back!
I should have known better.
When I picked up the JLA issues that Chris Claremont and John Byrne were working on together which guest starred The Doom Patrol my heart sank. What the hell happened? The characters were back but everyone was acting like they had never been gone, that they had never died in the first place. Everyone was like, “Oh, who are these guys? Oh, they’re The Doom Patrol. Cool.” No one mentioned that the Chief and Elastigirl were supposed to be dead. What was worse…it seemed like they were being introduced from scratch…like everyone was acting as if there had never been a Doom Patrol.
So I read the whole JLA arc and I told myself to calm down. I’d pick up the first issue and all would be explained. Byrne would have some bang up explanation for all of this and everything would be right in the Doom Patrol world.
I should have known better.
Apparently this was a whole new Doom Patrol. Byrne was starting it all as if there had never been a Doom Patrol in the first place. This was not the Doom Patrol that I knew and loved. So I decided not to pick up the book again. This “new” Doom Patrol was over before it had begun for me.
But lately I’d been feeling nostalgic. I ‘d gone to Byrne’s online site and had a look around. There’s no doubt the guy is a fantastic artist. He’s great. He’s got a great style and great energy. There’s a reason why he’s a legend and you can glimpse that from some the pencil work as well as some of the older work posted on his website.
So while at my local comic shop I decided to pick up DOOM PATROL # 13…just for old times’ sake.
DP thirteen isn’t particularly bad, but it’s not particularly great either. It’s just sort of middle of the road but there is something very interesting about it. It’s a time travel story. Which, if you’re like me, is just the type of thing to get all excited about, especially if John Byrne is writing it. If you’d read his OMAC mini-series from all those years ago you’d know why John Byrne + Time Travel is a special thing indeed.
The problem is that this time Byrne apes his time-travel mechanism from the 80’s TV show “Quantum Leap.” He cops to the fact that this is what he’s doing in the comic but it comes across as lazy and uninspired writing, almost as if he couldn’t bother to come up with something more interesting on his own. If Byrne wants to write QUANTUM LEAP the comic then he should do that. Not plug in the same sort of time travel device into his story because he can’t come up with something better.
The characters are also, and I knew this as I was going in, not The Doom Patrol that I know and love. Their histories are completely different. Their relationships have completely changed. As I’ve said before, this bothers me. I suppose I should have just accepted it but I can’t get past it. Maybe to new readers it’d be OK but to me, a long time fan, it’s just no good. I was hoping that somewhere down the line the continuity mess had been addressed, but apparently it hasn’t.
But I do have to say with this issue there may be a glimmer of hope for all those old school Doom Patrol fans out there. As I said before, it’s a time travel story. Byrne takes us into the past as Cliff Steele, Robotman, tries to keep himself from getting into the race car accident that caused him to become trapped in a robot body in the first place. Interwoven into all of this is a silly romantic subplot that involves Rita Farr (which gets them both into a bit of trouble with the law in the past) and explains some of her new back story which, quite frankly, just added to the ridiculous expositionary feel that had already cluttered up a large chunk of the book. This issue is full of flashbacks and explanations and not much else. Because of this, the story just ends up coming across as repetitive in tone.
But I did say there was hope, didn’t I? As clunky as the book is Byrne injects one of his patented twists that may signal the beginning of some explanations as to why this new Doom Patrol isn’t the Doom Patrol that many fans had come to know and love over the years. The last page alone might be worth the price of admission (although I doubt it for most readers) but it certainly got me interested enough to want to pick up the next issue…which is sort of the whole point of a cliffhanger ending, isn’t it?
Is Byrne going to try and clean up the continuity mess he created? I don’t know and quite frankly I doubt it. But that last page left me with some sort of hope that The Doom Patrol from bygone days will be back again in some form, hopefully permanently.
But then again, I should know better by now, shouldn’t I?
DOC FRANKENSTEIN #3
Written by the Wachowski Brothers
Illustrated by Steve Skroce
SHAOLIN COWBOY #3
Written and Illustrated by Geoff Darrow
Publisher: Burlyman Entertainment
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
It was just the other day, I stood on the roof of @$$hole HQ and asked the heavens, “Whatever happened to Burlyman Comics?!?!?!!” Burlyman’s two ongoing series, DOC FRANKENSTEIN and SHAOLIN COWBOY were said to be bi-monthly, scattered so one of each would come out every month. Well, a few months had passed and there wasn’t an adventurous reanimated corpse or a pudgy fighting monk to be seen on the comic book stands. I was sad. Distraught. Confused. I curled up and feared that this comic book company and these two titles had succumbed to the curse of the independent comic book and just faded into oblivion. Then, just when I thought all was lost, I ventured to my local comic book store and beheld a glorious thing. Not one but two Burlyman comics, sitting there and waiting for me to devour and savor. I was a happy Bug indeed.
Although both DOC FRANKENSTEIN and SHAOLIN COWBOY are completely different in concept and execution, they have one thing in common: unparalleled talent, imagination, and energy popping, pouring, and pulsating from each and every page.
Wait-a-minnit…that’s more than one thing. Oh well.
DOC FRANKENSTEIN is a direct sequel to Mary Shelly’s classic. Issue one started one page after Shelly’s novel ended and propelled the monster throughout different eras of civilization. Civil War? The monster was there. Old West? The monster was there. World War II? The monster was there. And this isn’t the shuffling man-creature that acts like me after a three-day drinking bender. The monster has grown accustomed to his reanimated body. Old Doc Frankenstein created his monster (who has adopted his creator’s name) to be the perfect human specimen with power, versatility, and skill and that immortal shell allows the monster to fight the forces of evil. Frankenstein has been doing this for nearly a century and in that time, he’s made some pretty powerful enemies. And this is where this book gets a bit controversial. You see, in DOC FRANKENSTEIN, the enemy is basically a militarized Catholic Church. They see Doc Frankenstein as an affront to humanity. A great Satan that must be stopped at all costs. In issue number three, we are introduced to a Pope-like character that runs the church and had a run-in with Doc while serving as a soldier in World War II. This confrontation resulted in tragedy for the holy man and has haunted Doc Frankenstein ever since. Casting the church as the enemy in this epic isn’t really a new concept, but it is sure to rile the tail feathers of some of the more conservative readers in comic-book land. But this book is filled with such cool moments that even if the depiction of the church offends, you’re still likely to mutter “coooool” once or twice while reading it. A cyborg dodo sacrifices his life to save the one person who showed him love. A bulletproof cowboy takes out a government sniper with a crack like “I drop turds tougher than you” and then stuffs the sniper’s gun down his throat. Moments of creativity such as these run rampant in this book. This book simply is one of the most exciting books to read out there today.
SHAOLIN COWBOY is filled with excitement and moments of cool too, but it approaches it from a different angle. This book follows the ongoing adventures of a mostly silent cowboy monk and his talking donkey (who, in my opinion, should start wearing some pants because I’m getting kind of grossed out seeing his hairy donkey nuts all of the time). That’s right. You read that correctly. I wrote “hairy donkey nuts.” SHAOLIN COWBOY is a western/kung fu series with its tongue firmly positioned in its cheek. This series is the flip side of the plot-heavy DOC FRANKENSTEIN. Basically, the Shaolin Monk rides his donkey across the desert and gets into fights with many, many people and a bunch of funny shit in the same vein as Eric Powell’s masterpiece THE GOON happens. That’s basically it. Don’t expect too much introspection here. Reading only the word balloons, you’d whisk through this book like yesterday’s loaded burrito this morning, but that’s not the selling point of this book. It’s the art. Expect some of the most amazing art I’ve ever had the pleasure of focusing my peepers on. Geoff Darrow’s art is so detailed, so deranged, so spectacular that you can focus on one of his splash pages for an hour and still not grasp the amount of stuff that’s going on. Any appreciator of this medium as art needs to do him- or herself a favor and check this series out.
Burlyman is creating wide-screen comic book entertainment of the highest caliber. From the unflinching action in DOC FRANKENSTEIN to the utter irreverence of SHAOLIN COWBOY, you aren’t going to find two comics out there filled with this much imagination, ingenuity, and talent between its covers. I’m not one to follow sales figures. I buy what I buy and don’t care what the top ten books are. But I do want this company to thrive and grow. Do yourselves a favor and pick up these series. Support this company. These are the types of comics I’d love to see more of. The more people reading these series and talking about them the better. DOC FRANKENSTEIN and SHAOLIN COWBOY are two breaths of fresh air in a medium where stale rehashes, rancid deconstruction, and snoozy overspeak pollute the atmosphere.
TEEN TITANS #25
Writer: "Go-Go" Geoff Johns
Artists: "Mojo" Mike Clark/"Pop" Art Thibert
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Prof. "Mad Mod" Challenger
Prof is hep to the jive these days. Change is blowin' in the wind and the Age of Pisces has tripped and gone and the Aquarius has dawned. But, man, those groovy Teen Titans are still cool cats. I'm eyeballin' that cover, with its homage to the cover design of the NEW TEEN TITANS #1 from way back during the waning days of disco. But what a downer, man. Those trippin' teens are all rushing toward the reader and that BMOC, Superboy, is getting ready to sock our top cat, Robin. Double-downer is that this is probably the last Titans drawing by "Flight Risk" Mike McKone for at least two years.
But, oh starshine! The temp art team of "Mojo" Mike Clark and "Pop" Art Thibert kicks my shiny platform shoes right out from under me. Last ish, Prof was hep to the fact that they were just fill-in artists and he wasn't too bummed out. But this time, those two artists clicked together like Simon and Garfunkel or Chad and Jeremy, man.
Artistically, these two tigers pulled a number of groovy tricks. I liked how Metamorpho took out that Superman robot-dude and got this hint of a Supersquare spit-curl showing how he was tokin' the elements of the robot. Another thing that made the Prof go for their art – the Titans look like teens as opposed to those grown-up squares in the Outsiders. I also liked the fact that all these characters looked like they were really truckin' hard and sweaty. Shows me these cats aren't just a bunch of superpowers that win with no effort. These teams got to fight just to stay alive. That's heavy, man. Give peace a chance? Flower power? Not in this book.
Dig this. Pages 4, 7, 8, 10, and that last page. Then contrast those with the flashback there on the third page. Mojo and Pop show how much more foxy Wonder Chick is now rather than when Grumpy Geezer introduced her in the WONDER WOMAN series. Now, Wondy gives even Goldie Hawn a run for her money. But, this story ain't no LAUGH-IN, daddio.
Those big, bald, baddios, Luthor and Brainiac, are itchin' to take out both the Titans and the Outsiders and they're doin' it real insidious-like. Both of these jive-talkin' Tricky-Dicks planted sleeper agents in each group. It's a John Birch Society nightmare. Seems the bad guys have used their sleepers to plumb the secrets of the heroes, man, and now they know how to really give 'em a bad trip worse than anybody ever has before. Made the Prof want to tear his tie-dyed tee and heap sacks of hashish upon his head. They smacked my face with betrayals of confidence, of love, and faith going on in this story.
Now, is Prof smokin' the wacky weed or is this happenin' new crossover, INFINITE CRISIS, givin' me flashbacks? See, right before that original CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS hit the scene, there were some crazy changes made to Luthor and Brainiac that were then completely undone by the CRISIS. You remember, don't you, babies? Luthor got that psycho-delic new purple and green armor that made him a physical match for fightin' Supersquare. At the same time, Brainiac dumped his green bald head and pink tights when he downloaded his brain into that creepy skull-faced robot bod. Then after CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, what happened to those two creeps? Luthor became a fat, bald, Howard Hughes, military/industrial complex-type and Brainiac went back to the green, bald baddio again. At least this time they kept the Summer of Love pink spandex and panties off him.
Now, here we all are some twenty years later and heading into another CRISIS and what do my sunshaded eyes see happenin' in this latest ish of TEEN TITANS? Luthor's back wearing the same baaad armor and Brainiac's about to punch card his brain into the same creepy skull-faced robot bod. We're comin' full circle dudes and dudettes. Consider that we've also seen over the last year or two a return of a sort-of pre-Crisis Krypton (rather than Grumpy Geezer's version), a Supergirl who's Supersquare's cousin, and even whacky Krypto, that crrrazy Superdog. To everything there is a season. Everything new is old again and everything old is new again.
Time to start a revolution. Stop rehashing the past, man, even if this particular comic is pretty good, the kids want to, like, see some new ideas. Breathe deep the gathering gloom, Jojo, and repeat after me:
Number Nine.
Number Nine.
Number Nine.
Number Nine.
Number Nine.
Number Nine.
Oh and one other thing....booogerrrrrrrr
DEEP FRIED VOL.2 #1-2
By Jason Yungbluth
Published by Death Ray Graphics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Do you like biting satirical humor and gross-out comedy? Can you appreciate at the comedic stylings of John Stewart, Lewis Black, and Bill Maher and still fall out laughing every time someone gets hit in the danglers with a baseball bat on a home video show? Does political incorrectness make you wince and cry out for your mammy?
If you answered yes to the first two questions and replied “Fuck you!” to the last, DEEP FRIED is the comic book for you.
DEEP FRIED is a satirical anthology series featuring a reoccurring cast of cartoon insanities. Issue one focuses on a trio of losers that can be best described as Cheech and Chong meet Michael Moore’s CANADIAN BACON. In a drug-induced haze, these three characters decide to smuggle pirated MP3’s over the Canadian border to sell on the black market. Of course, the Democratik Republik of Kanada and their border patrol may have something to say about that. What follows is a whole lot of political commentary, some clown penis torture, and the startling revelation that a coke-snorting cat that talks has stashed Warwick Davis up his ass “just in case of emergency.”
So as you can tell by now, this is the perfect gift for your pastor, your 80 year old aunt or that ten-year old who is so hard to buy for.
The highlight of issue number one for me was a two-page short story starring a little girl named Clarissa called “Bedbugs.” This short features an acerbic little girl who absolutely hates her family and pretty much everything else. Wonderfully drawn and cleverly paced, this little tale flips the old “monster under the bed” story on its @$$. How can you not love lines like this…
We don’t bite…we eat…little girls…named you.
And this…
Get your affairs in order…fill out your address form…have your mail forwarded to our stomachs…next stop: digestion junction.
And this…
We’re scarier than a dump truck full of Frankensteins.
Issue number two, features a much longer story featuring Clarissa that proved to be morbidly fascinating to me. I felt a sense of unease while reading this story entitled “Family Portrait.” Something insidious seems to be going on under the frozen smiles of Clarissa’s family and despite her sour disposition; Clarissa seems to be the innocent victim of…something here. Her hatred towards life is powerful. This is a truly memorable character who may have magical powers, or a haunted past, or just an overactive imagination, or maybe it’s all three. There’s something about Clarissa that reminds me of the kid from TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE who plops his relatives into cartoons and steals his sister’s mouth, but there is an underlying sadness beneath Clarissa’s razor-sharp sarcasm that makes you feel sorry for her. This is a bittersweet and multi-layered story filled with gross-out humor and biting remarks that left me feeling both uneasy and fascinated. I want to read more about this fascinating little shit.
But then again, I’m a little weird. And if you are too, you’ll probably like DEEP FRIED as much as I did.
G.I. SPY #1
Writer: Andrew Cosby
Artist: Matt Haley
Publisher: Boom! Studios
Reviewer: Prof. Challenger
OK. There are different rules when reviewing low-budget independent studio films versus, say, a mega-budgeted big studio summer feature. In the same way, there are different rules when evaluating and reviewing independently published comics as well. Knowing full well that the up-front payscale (if paid at all) comes nowhere near the level of the big-league publishers, the market distribution is nowhere near the level of the big-league publishers and sometimes even lesser-quality printing – independent comics are usually evaluated on a more forgivable scale. That is, the art may be forgiven hallmarks of amateurish presentation of anatomy or page layouts. Likewise, stilted dialogue or slow pacing, things that would bring down this reviewer's hammer on, say, a HOUSE OF M, get a pass. Instead, good intentions go a long way. As well, earnestness or enthusiasm can garner a positive vibe on an indie.
That being said, there are occasions where an indie transcends the independent rules and positions itself as worthy of a "big budget" review. G.I. SPY is one of those.
G.I. SPY is a comic that I would, with no changes, stack up against anything else put out by MARVEL or DC. The quality is that good. In fact, I'd say it's better than most of what MARVEL puts out monthly right now.
The only name involved with this comic I've ever heard of is letterer John Workman – which is really good news because John Workman is my all-time favorite letterer. Nobody knows how to place balloons like Workman. So, that's an old-school plus for me. I've never heard of Boom! Studios before. I've never heard of Andrew Cosby or Matt Haley before. I've never heard of G.I. SPY before. But here I am enthusiastically touting this series to you, the comic-buying public (who may or may not already be familiar with these guys).
I really must give my highest compliments to Matt Haley, particularly, for some excellent story-telling. I have gone back and forth through this comic a number of times already just admiring the way he lays out his pages. That double-page spread is extraordinarily effective at giving the reader an idea of the scale of the scene. I really loved every panel.
I appreciated so much about this comic. I love the fact that it's set during the years surrounding World War II. I loved that Jack Shepherd (G.I. Spy) thought to himself as he parachutes down on his first mission: "All the qualities that make me a terrible soldier also make me a perfect spy." What I love about that one little thought line is that it kept me from having to read an entire first issue devoted to every little detail about how he sucked as a soldier but got drafted out for spy training instead. The writer smartly kicks right into his first mission and gives us all the info we need to understand his background and where he's coming from. Jack doesn't handle authority very well and failed as a soldier. Jack's not quite as smart as he wishes he was. Jack's not received too much spy training. However, Jack thinks fast on his feet and is just foolhardy enough to do whatever he needs to when he needs to. By setting this during WWII, there are endless opportunities for wartime espionage, secret sci-fi adventures, top-secret gadgetry, and all without the pervasive cynicism of the modern-day wartime and espionage efforts.
Cosby and Haley take the American soldier-spy, Jack Shepherd, pair him up with a beautiful female British spy named Kaitlin Hunter. Jack's a bit clumsy and unsure about this whole spy game, while Agent Hunter's much more experienced and confident. The scene where they meet is classic. Let's just say that Jack tries a little "Capt. America" action to save her life and it goes embarrassingly wrong – for both of them. Or how about after they barely escape from a bomb explosion and this exchange happens between Agent Hunter and our intrepid spy:
JACK: "How'd you know it was a bomb?"
AGENT HUNTER: "Rule Number One in the spy game, Jack . . . It's ALWAYS a bomb."
There are also two different covers for issue one. The "Saving Lady Liberty" cover shows Jack riding a Nazi bomb DR. STRANGELOVE-style towards the Statue of Liberty while he frantically attempts to disarm the bomb. The other cover is titled "Jack is Back" and it's just an action shot of Jack and Agent Hunter with guns raised. The "Jack is Back" title makes me think this comic is perhaps a reboot of something tried a few years back. Don't know that though. It's all new to me. My preference is for the "Jack is Back" cover. Both are by Haley, but I just aesthetically like the second cover better. I also like the cool page showing the schematics for a Top-Secret "Heli-Pack" (backpack that converts into a one-man helicopter). I hope they include these types of fun pages in each issue. I always enjoyed it when Marvel would insert those old pin-ups, schematics, and such into their early comics. Make comics fun and readers will follow. That's always been my mantra. As well, check out the comic's website @ www.gispyonline.com where you get a snazzy peek at the series and can even order issues directly from the publisher. Otherwise, put your preorder in today at your local comic dealer because GI SPY #1 hits in July.
G.I. SPY is an excellent, clever, and action-oriented spy series that I recommend strongly. It's not self-referential. It's not ironic. It's not depressing. It's got Nazis, secret agents, beautiful babes, gadgetry, a sense of humor, excellent artwork, and Albert Einstein. How can you beat that? I can't wait for issue two.
Remember, if you have an Indie book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.
Remember, if you have an Indie book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.
BATMAN: JEKYLL AND HYDE #3
While DC is busy pumping out ho-hum miniseries featuring Batman movie baddies like Ra’s Al Ghul and the Scarecrow, this tasty little miniseries has been gliding along under the radar. First and foremost, this is a beautiful looking comic book. Artist Jae Lee draws a Two-Face that is both horrifying and beautiful all at once. His panels ooze dread and mood, making this one of the darker Dark Knight tales in recent memory. Writer Paul Jenkins supports this ebon atmosphere with a gloomy story of revenge focusing on Two-Face and his relationship with the Batman. At times, this series can be a bit heady. Jenkins has a tendency to focus on the tired “Batman is not the mask, Bruce Wayne is the mask” theme a bit much. Two-Face is acting more like the Scarecrow or the Joker with his scheme of a madness drug, but this has been an entertaining read so far nonetheless. Bug
ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #20
I love evil super-geniuses… especially well written ones. The second part of this two-part “Think Tank” storyline might just have trumped the previous arc by Warren Ellis as my current fave of this young series. Here we get the very creepy, and yet somewhat sad origin story of the Ultimate version of old-school FF villain The Mad Thinker. This version is definitely a lot more demented, and seemingly much more dangerous than I’ve seen the regular 616 version of the character be in years. Plus her (yes, HER) intellect and obvious insanity is translated to us in a very quirky and much more entertaining way than the same old “I am really smart and angry!!” way, though it does borderline that mindset. And the resolution to the villains’ holding the FF and the Baxter building hostage is set up with a nice little ironic twist that fits well with what little glimpses we caught of the nature of the character in her little origin tale. Oh and the Jae Lee art here is fantastic as always, though it seems as if his facial expressions are a bit off from his usual style, but nonetheless they’re just fine. Next issue, the one thing I never wanted to see in these Ultimate titles but fully expected to at some point: a Crossover with the mainline 616 Marvel Universe. - Humphrey
ROBIN #139
Oh what a difference a new artist can make. I don’t want to take anything away from artists who have worked on this series in the past, but I just haven’t been able to get into Bill Willingham’s run with the Boy Wonder. I love his work on FABLES, but have found the twists and turns he’s been directing Robin through to be tiresome and uninspired. Enter artist Scott McDaniel, and this story has reawakened my interest in this series with his hyper-kinetic action sequences and panel placement. If ever there was proof that comics are an equal collaboration between artist and writer, this is the book to prove it. This issue features a character called the Veteran who sees the true potential in Robin and wants to steal him away from his batty mentor. If you left this series when Chuck Dixon did, this might be a good time to check it out again. Bug
CAPTAIN AMERICA #7
Ed Brubaker and John Paul Leon take a break from the current year-long story to go back and fill in some more details about the recently deceased Jack Monroe, nee Bucky, nee Nomad, and any other aliases by which he may be known. When Jack was killed a few issues ago, it ticked off some readers, but it now turns out it was a mercy killing. Monroe's many injuries and illnesses due to his risky profession had caught up to him, causing him to fall apart physically and mentally. He had been spiralling downwards, losing everything that made him who he was. It's a taut, well-told tale of a good man's ignoble end. Brubaker is doing a hell of a job on CAP, but I'm still a bit worried about the identity of the Winter Man. If he's really who he appears to be there are a few ways it could be dealt with logically, but if it's left to stand as is it threatens to do irreparable harm to one of the most iconic characters in comics. I'm still recommending the series and still look forward to every issue, but with some growing reservations. - Sleazy G
HOUSE OF M #2
BUG: C’mon, Sleazy. Can you review HOUSE OF M this week? It’s a big book and we really should mention it in the column. And you know what happens in the Talkbacks when I review Bendis…SLEAZY: I didn’t even buy the book. I did read it in the store, though.
BUG: Then review it. C’mon, man. I’ll buy your first beer at the bar if you do.
SLEAZY: I don’t even remember what happened—I’ve already blanked it out.
BUG: Well, Colossus did some farming. Cyclops made Emma Frost a Pop-Tart. And Captain America picked up his mail.
SLEAZY: Oh yeah—then some neighborhood kids called Captain America "the old guy." Talk about a zinger!
BUG: Yep…
SLEAZY: Yeah...
BUG: Soooo…you wanna review it?
SLEAZY: Review what again?
IT’S THE RETURN OF…THE @$$HOLE TALKBACK QUESTION O’ THE WEEK?!?!
HOUSE OF M is rumored to do some continuity-tweaking like undoing Peter Parker's marriage to MJ and returning mutants back to minority status in the Marvel Universe. Accepting such reality-bending as a staple of superhero universes, what other missteps would you like to see corrected?
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+ Expand All
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Firstage?
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let the ass kickery begin
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Heh. Sorry, I had to get that out of the way. Anyways...Ambush Bug, you're just now getting around to "Deep Fried?" For shaaaaamme. I've met Jason Yungbluth three years in a row at the Pittsburgh Comicon, and this SOB's funnier than hell. I command you to go to his website and order the "DF" trade paperback, as well as the Comicon-Exlcusive "Suicide Note." This year, my friends and I helped out by drumming up business for him, proclaiming the hilarity and insanity that is "Deep Fried." Plus, while you're at his site, dig some of the bitchin' cartoons there, especially "How Vader Got His Groove Back." You ever wonder what should have happened to Jar-Jar? Watch the short. There's your answer. --Cliff
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Bendis brings back Jean Grey to bitch slap the Scarlet Witch.
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Obvious, but if they're "fixing" continuity, they may as well erase that whole "Norman Osborne fathered Gwen Stacey's children! And that's the REAL reason he dropped her off the bridge!" story. It was just so profoundly stupid and pointless.
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The creator of Cable, Brigade, Youngblood, and X Force will soon be drawing the poor Titans for a 2 issue arc... Dont believe me check out this (beware prolonged starage at a Liefeld drawing results in bleeding of the pupils)... http://robliefeld.net/teentitans.htm oh and if anyone feels the need to razz RobL on his apparent lack of talent follow this link http://www.herorealm.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=37 THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
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I'm not well versed in all things Cap, but I thought there was one absolute maxim: (Insert obvious character here) stays dead. I am so pissed about how this series is going. Which is sad, because it started out really good. The writers are totally lazy in that they are capitalizing on a trend started over at DC involving a certain bat-themed character. I don't know what possible "twist" Brubaker could possibly give to this storyline to set it apart. All I know is he should mail his check to Jeff Loeb. Pathetic freaking hack-job would be a compliment for this storyline. Tell me how it turns out, because I'm not going to spend another nickel on this.
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Yeah Bucky is back from what I have heard as is Jason Todd (the second robin) over at DC. Oh and for a fun look at the Rob Liefeld rendition of Captain America from 1996 follow the link! http://grotesqueanatomy.blogspot.com/2004/05/now-thats-grotesque-anatomy.html
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good to have the column up as always. good reviews as well. im going to look for deep fried and gispy. hey i just got the 3rd losers tpb "trifecta" and right there on the cover is a qoute from one of the @$$holes but it doenst say who! refresh my memory please? also,and this is shameless but i need the money, i have my collection up at www.comicspriceguide.com under "Kryptoncomics". check it out and if you see anything you need drop me a line! absoloutely everything must go! my prices are very resonable and i ship cheaply! and El Vale i will even ship to you out in columbia but it probably wont be as cheap! ok thats it for the shameless plug!
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i actually didnt like dream police. it seemed too cliched-the nun has erotic dreams-the little kid controls the huge monster,etc.i think ill wait for a trade on this.and damn that cap pic is horrendous! hes going to end up looking like bob from fight club in a few years!
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Jun 29, 2005 9:03:03 PM CDT
At this point it might just take a few beer to get through the H
by heywood jablowme
Alright, I'm somewhat concerned about what kind of foundation they're laying for the House o' M. I know that sometimes the best stories are the ones that are brought to a slow boil, but at this pace it looks like the eggs won't be ready by Easter. Issue #3 had better kick some serious ass or I'm going to be FedEx-ing a six pack and a formal apology to Ambush Bug. However, you're still wrong about Daredevil, Bug, so that six pack is going to be Pabst Blue Ribbon.
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Christ! I enjoy how this site reviews comic books and everything, but some reviewers need to LEARN HOW TO SPELL and learn the meaning of certain terms, such as IRONY. It's NOT IRONIC when the writer of Catwoman also happens to share the same last name as the actress who played Catwoman. THAT'S COINCIDENTAL. NOT IRONIC. When you make dumbass mistakes like this it makes you look friggin incompetent and unqualified. I really appreciate and enjoy comic reviews. BUT JESUS. Some people need to learn how to spell and actually KNOW the meaning behind the terms they use. Take a friggin English class if you need to.
And yes, I am fully aware of the irony (yes this time it IS irony) of me bitching about writing while also ending a sentence with a preposition. -
Christ! I enjoy how this site reviews comic books and everything, but some reviewers need to LEARN HOW TO SPELL and learn the meaning of certain terms, such as IRONY. It's NOT IRONIC when the writer of Catwoman also happens to share the same last name as the actress who played Catwoman. THAT'S COINCIDENTAL. NOT IRONIC. When you make dumbass mistakes like this it makes you look friggin incompetent and unqualified. I really appreciate and enjoy comic reviews. BUT JESUS. Some people need to learn how to spell and actually KNOW the meaning behind the terms they use. Take a friggin English class if you need to. And yes, I am fully aware of the irony (yes this time it IS irony) of me bitching about writing while also ending a sentence with a preposition.
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it sucked. and so did Spider-Man: House of M. Sucked. Spider-Man: House of M # 1 was one of the worst mainstream/main continuity books released this year, or ever.
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Wow... Could someone ask the reviewer to take some English and writing classes... that review is pretty damn unintelligible. The style isn't hip or informed, it's just sloppy and opaque.
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I completely disagree with you MiserableRainGod...I mean obviously you are entitled to your own opinion, however, I feel someone in here should defend House of M. Personally, I felt that the House of M #2 was really intriguing, I liked seeing this alternate universe and I thought Bendis did a great job setting the reader up to be well versed in this universe...and furthermore I thought the Spider-Man House of M was a great expansion of this universe, although the bit about Peter Parker shavingh is head was a tad off...but that is just one man's opinion...I know everyone seems to be bashing House of M, and Bendis for that matter, but I for one, like where this is going...as for the question posed at the end of the article...I would like Spider-Man out of the New Avengers, or at least have the Amazing Spider-Man series be a stand alone thing...and not have Amazing-Spider-Man be the New Avengers spin-off like it currently is...if I wanted a New Avengers story I would but the New Avengers
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needs to buy a sense o' humah!
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I think this is supposed to be a one-shot, not a series.
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He could be sketching out cariacatures of fat kids at the county fair for $20, and I'd still want to see them. Man I love me some John Byrne.
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Those were some terribly written reviews this week. Pretty pictures though. Huh? You didn't do those? Oh. Good. Job.
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Jun 29, 2005 11:11:59 PM CDT
Obviously that should be "beers" in my above post. With respect
by heywood jablowme
Outside the Marvel Universe, yet still grounded in fiction: Han Solo shoots first. Things to undo in the Marvel U: obviously the Gwen Stacy fiasco, but add to that everything Kevin Smith has done (or should I say hasn't) since Daredevil, along with any Venom/Carnage story form the last 10 years, plus the last 25 or so issues of Bruce Jones's Hulk run, and the scene with Luke Cage and Jessica Drew (yes, THAT one). I could have done without that.
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Anyone else care? Probably not. Okay then.
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And not say he never says anything nice about Bendis. Because he made that House of M issue seem a LOT more interesting than it actually was. *** And nobody mentioned New Avengers either. Cap: "It's against my morals to kill." Iron Man: "Then let's have Wolverine on the team so HE can kill for us." Cap: "OK". Wow, some morals! *** Reminds me of the moral compass in Batman Begins, what with the "I won't kill you but I won't save you" crap. Batman sets a house full of people on fire, he races the batmobile down a busy freeway making police cars flip over and crash into brick walls, then pins Liam Neeson down in a runaway train until the last possible second and then jumps out, and yet he won't kill? The guy's a killing machine! Just sloppy writing, all around. Batman Begins is an "OK to good" movie that's been put on a ridiculously high pedastol because the last 2 Batman films were so bad. *** Sorry for the rambling.
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Because he still kicks ass, and I like his new Doom Patrol very much. Admittedly, I wasn't a fan of the orignal series, so the re-start isn't a big deal to me at all. I like that we get "current" storylines intercut with the origins of the individual members of the team; I think it's a neat narrative plot device. And yeah, I thought #13 was great, especially the ending...
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else been having problems with natalie portman stalking them? is it just me?...should i get a court order against her?
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Sorry, but that is hilarious. The nudity in Supreme Power has been childish. The aqua-girl was actually well done, but any seen with ultimate-wonderwoman was down rigth insulting. I didn't read beyond that line in your review because (for the second month in a row) I simply forgot to pick up the book last week and didn't want to spoil myself. All sillyness aside however, its a very strong book and I don't think it will be hurt at all when it moves (probably the opposite). I could write a damn book that answers the question of the week (and thats just x-men). Short version? Retcon everything post-Age of Apocolypse. Take us back to the early 90s before onslaught. Before Bishop, Cable, and Gambit became the most panned characters in comic books. Wrap up their stories like they should have been done (especially Bishop) then remove the characters completely, forever. Kill them, send them back to the future, or revert them to children. I don't really care. Give me back archangel before Austin touched him. Give me a pre-feline beast. Lets try the whole 'white queen is a good guy' thing only this time don't drag your feet for 15 years. Give me my pre-morrison magneto in a vegitative state. Give me a little wolverine with jubliee, but then either have her grow or simply get rid of her. In short, bring the x-men back to time where we had evolving story lines over long periods of time (not only those short enough to fit in a trade) and at least some amount of continuity between the books.
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... a whole lotta pages, and a whole lotta nothin' goin' on.
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I'm sorry...I really, really, really, really don't like anything that Byrne has ever written. His run on the FF was miserable. His run on Superman was miserable. His run on West Coast Avengers...utterly miserable. As a plotter, perhaps he's had a decent idea or two, but sadly, that's not writing. And his dialogue is just so vomit-inducing that it makes me...well...want to vomit. I'm glad to see him teamed back up with Terry Austin, and maybe I'll give Mr. Byrne YET another chance and check out the latest Doom Patrol, but I have no hope. Sorry, folks.
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You know, I used to enjoy reading this column because I wanted to hear the opinions of other educated comic readers. But lately, it's all about the a**holes trying to act cute and show off their writing "talent." Take my advice. Take a class to hone your writing skills. And get back to reviewing comics.
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But I don't pay attention to what's going on with Jean Grey anymore after all this nonsense about Phoenix "impersonating" her, or whatever.
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Jun 30, 2005 10:39:46 AM CDT
Yeah, is Jean gonna stay dead, at least for a few more months?
by loodabagel
God, if she can keep her ass in the ground, for at least a year, I'll be happy. Not to bash House of M, but rather to make a point to all the Bendis haters/lovers/bandwagoners. Ultimate SPiderman and New Avengers. Ultimate Spiderman can't be good without New Avengers being bad and vice versa. THe last issue of the Hobgoblin story was the only decent one throughout those slow wasted six issues. The next issue was back on the road of decency, too. Which was about the time that New Avengers really got stupid. THe conclusion in issue 6 was a terribly concieved last minute decision, as was having Wolverine join the team to do their dirty work, even though it seemed apparent that they spent a fair amount of time in issue 6 restaining him. And by the way, what started sucking to make Daredevil so good? Segwaying here (That means changing topics for those of you who aren't the 10 people that already know that) I'm going to mention some X-Men comics. Has Astonishing X-Men gave up after issue 10? It's been at least two months since I last saw head or foot of it. And that's not the kind of story you want Chris Claremont to resolve. Also of interest is the fine work Peter Milligan and Salvador Larroca are doing on X-Men. I'm sure a lot of you didn't dig the whole Golgotha thing, and neither did I, but the new story is just dandy. Plenty of sex and romance for all your entertainment needs. Just I had hoped for from Peter Milligan. So singing off, I say-FUCK YOU MICHAEL EISNER!
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JESUS. There is no such word as "Segway." It's "SEGUE," loodabagel. Misspelling it completely undermines your condescension. EVERYONE here needs to take a friggin English course. DON'T USE words if A) You don't know how to spell them, or B) You don't know what they mean.
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... freaked out, headquarters-in-a-sentient-crossdressing-teleporting-street, fighting villains who travel in LSD-powered Partridge Family schoolbuses, Grant Morrison DP!
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Jun 30, 2005 11:23:37 AM CDT
Alright SirNougat, we get it. If we need a grammar-cop we'l
by heywood jablowme
Now do you have an opinion on the comics or do you want to keep ranting about the rules of language? Jesus, take some lithium Roget.
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I think Catwoman took Hush up on his suggestion because despite her new apperance as a hero type, her first priority is the East End. She would do anything to keep it safe. But I agree this has been the best this book has looked in a while.
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I'm 2 issues into Infinity Gauntlet, and I'm 2 issues into House of M. At this point, Gauntlet is really friggin good, and it even has Silver Surfer stinking it up. It has a plot, a villain, some conflict, main characters, character development...I can't wait to get home from work and read more. House of M has...um...no plot, no villain, no character development, no ANYTHING...and I don't care if Marvel just goes back a month and acts like this crap never happened. So far it's like a bad What If, without the Watcher. (Apparently it's "What If Apocalypse Never Existed," because Kitty Pryde says that Namor is the first mutant on record. And isn't even Wolvie older that Namor?)
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Is one of thw worst writer's i've ever read. His reviews are nonesense and dull. ANd he reviews way too many books. Please keep him off this site. Daddio-jive language? Nice gimmick, ass.
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They're those dumbass scooters they're giving to cops instead of horses.
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I haven't seen "Batman Begins" yet, but the whole "I won't kill you but I won't save you" thing sounds very much like Ditko's Objectivist heroes The Question and Mr. A. I wonder if they were an influence when Goyer was writing the script...
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The Demon and now Doom Patrol have smoochin' covers. Maybe the old curmudgeon Byrne just needs some love? Any volunteers?
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how the hell is this guy still getting paid to draw comics? who is buying this stuff?
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Maybe "offically" I supposed. I'm not exactly sure about this, but isn't what caused the mutant gene in humans really some Kree genetic seeding done way back when?
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But then again I may be wrong.
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Did anybody else see that Wizard how to draw section "basic training" that he did quite recently?? He drew a Teen Titan and it looked like fried dick. Why would anybody want to draw like a paraplegic retarded walrus with down's syndrome?? Okay I am stretching a bit...
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I seem to remember from the old EVOLUTIONARY WAR crossover that humans, mutants, and just about all life on earth was attributed to the Kree in the "History of Man" back story that ran through all of the annuals. Then again, that happened about fifteen to twenty years ago and I doubt any of the revisionist writers at Marvel would even have considered or read about all of that. And Heywood, send that PBR my way, man. Dat's da good stuff!
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There are some elements to his drawing style that I just love. But then his lack of true movement and odd proportions make me want to set fire to my mylar-encrusted X-Force books and waft in the fumes while begging for sweet death to take me away.
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Jun 30, 2005 4:07:00 PM CDT
House of M as a retconning vehicle?...Sounds horrible. How many
by -=shin=-
How often has Spidey been changed in some format in the past few years to make him 'like the good 'ol days'? Making the marriage of Pete and MJ disappear is a ridiculous idea even Geoff Johns couldn't fix. It feels like I've read more stories trying to correct Spidey from those format changes than actual fun Spidey stories. *Clone Saga* *Ben Reily* *May dies* *MJ dies in plane crash* etc, etc etc. *May's not dead* *MJ's not dead* *MJ and Pete almost divorce* Please stop. Stop it now. Don't we have Ultimate Spidey to handle the good ol day camp? I'm certainly enjoying those stories. I also love the days of MJ and Pete living in the loft in Soho when Macfarlane and Larsen were in their hayday at Marvel. Those stories work and MJ wasn't some hinderance to the title. No one cares about Gwen but us old guys. I was almost sick when I saw the panel of Pete crying when he woke with Gwen in bed next to him in some House of M previews. MJ is the one for Peter. It's done, let's move on. How many times have we heard Pete say it's all about her (MJ)? Stop contradicting. I beg and plead for Marvel to stop running down these tangents and just write me a fun Spidey story.
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Well I don't know what the dilly-o is with this crazay "House of M"-verse, but yah, Apocalypse, Wolverine and Mr. Sinister precede Namor, at the very least. There are 3 possible explanations for why they don't go down in the history books: 1) Bendis doesn't know or give a shit about their history. 2) Their origins, if they exist at all, are different now that the world has been remade. 3) No one knows how old Apocalypse or Sinister are. It's not like they'd go on record and divulge their histories, so I guess whoever was first on the scene (Namor) gets the medal. I'd say the same thing about Wolverine because of Weapon X and all, but Mystique called him "James," so I guess that ain't the case.
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I'll take answer 1. And a side note: I don't think Sinister is a mutant. I believe he is a genticist who focuses on mutation and who has experimented on himself in a way that he has some kind of powers and pointy teeth. I think this was explained in the SINISTER miniseries drawn by Jean Paul Leon (I believe that's who it was), but then again, continuity is a four letter word at Marvel, so what was established in the past is easily overlooked by writers who care for nothing but to tell "their story."
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They should deny the existence of one Chuck Austen.
And that Cap picture is the funniest thing i've seen in a while.
The HoM "review" makes me wonder why they even bother. -
They're allowing Leifield to wreck Teen Titans, but Tom Grummett is being wasted over on Thunderbolts!? RL wrecks everything he touches! Doesn't anyone remember what happened with New Mutants!?
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... too many sub-plots, not enough pages. I was getting whiplash trying to glean any useful story points out of this mess. 12 separate character sub-plots, each getting about 2-3 pages apiece doesn't make for good storytelling. It makes for a confusing mish-mash that doesn't allow any character to develop worth a damn. If this is the pace that the rest of the series is going to take, then this ought to be the most annoying title in 2005.
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Jun 30, 2005 6:39:47 PM CDT
Quick someome gouge out my eyes, that Liefeld webshit is fucking
by big bad clone
You'd figure that after all this time as a professional artist, he'd have progressed some. He still looks like he's drawing Youngblood #2. Jim Lee has become a lot more subtle since the early days of Image. Gary Frank and jae Lee have become brilliant in that same amount of time. So why does Liefeld's art still looked like twice baked cat shit?
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Hey everybody - check out "The Surrogates" from Top Shelf. Pretty cool concept that's getting some good buzz.
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Mr. Soda wrote: "Is one of thw worst writer's i've ever read. His reviews are nonesense and dull. ANd he reviews way too many books. Please keep him off this site. Daddio-jive language? Nice gimmick, ass."
Here is Professor C's corrected version of your post:
". . . is one of the worst writers I've ever read. His reviews are nonsensical and dull. Furthermore, he reviews way too many books. Please keep him off of this site. One last nate concerning your 'Daddio-jive' language. Nice gimmick, Ass."
I counted no less than 12 grammatical and spelling errors in your rather short post. Each error on this assignment was worth 5 points each. You have received a 40 for your final grade. At AICN High, any score below a 65 is a failing grade and you are required to repeat the class.
Please accept my encouragement. I believe you can do better next time if you remove your head from your butt BEFORE you type your post.
Prof. C
Room 222
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"nate" is what is called a "typo" rather than a misspelling.
"nate" quite obviously is supposed to be "note."
:D -
Prof, I wish I would have thought of it! Muchos kudos to ya!
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Jun 30, 2005 7:59:49 PM CDT
Am I the only one who has an easy time ignoring John Byrne and R
by sideshowbob
Yeah, I guess so.
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I never bought into the Liefeld stuff. Man I hope he held on to the 7 million clams he had at one time, seeing the vast majority finally see
his work for what it is. Also Byrne hmmmm haven't read his stuff in years. -
... normally I have no problem ignoring any artist/writer I don't like... until they do a run on one of the titles I collect. I like my collection runs to be complete where ever possible, so I guess I'm stuck buying *shudder* Leifeld art for a couple of issues. Yeccchh!!
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... Johns better have a killer story to go along with the sophmoric, amateur-grade art...
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I think you'll survive two issues of Liefeld on Teen Titans. It may be embarrasing for you to buy it, so I recommend practicing by buying porn first. *** And by the way, Gail Simone is writing those issues, not Johns.
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hurts.........
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Mr. Sinister's origins were detailed in "The Further Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix" which was actually a rather good read. He was not born a mutant, but rather "granted" his powers by apocolypse (then possible further granted himself powers through gene splicing). Anyway, is there a trend growing of ripping off shitty X-Men stories from the mid-late 90s and making them significantly better? First we have Whedon re-imagining the living Cerebro story-line. Then we have OMAC which is a direct rip off of the sentinel stories from the mid 90s. And I hate jumping ahead to something that should be next weeks topic, but does anyone else love the fact that JW's batman is pissing all over loeb's "Hush".
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Don't be so quick to judge. Loeb, Johns and Winick are all very close, so when you assume one is pissing on the other you may be overstating. There's another possibility, which is that as they all sat down to dinner they came up w/ideas one of them didn't originally conceive of that are taking it in a new direction (and yes, I actually watched this happen once). Coincidentally, there's only one name there I like/trust, but I understand the nature of collaboration enough to realize that such things can happen and enough good can come out of them to make it worthwhile. Unless they don't, in which case I'm reaching for my pitchfork.
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For those of you who may have missed this news in one form or another: Jeph Loeb has just suffered a tremendous loss. His teenaged son passed away recently due to a horrible illness. It's not something I'd wish on anyone, and I would have willingly sacrificed a great deal personally if it would have changed anything. Jeph's son had a story published a while back by Dark Horse in one of their anthologies, and if read on a purely detached level the author had room to grow--but a lot of potential and he came off as very likable and committed. He'll never have the opportunity to grow into something more, which is a tragedy for his family as well as the industry. Our little family here, and the industry in general, has developed a reputation for being too hostile and negative. I know that's not who we really are or who we want to be. I want to extend my sympathy to Jeph and his family and encourage the rest of you to do the same if you have any interaction with Jeph or his family in the near future. We may take comics seriously, but we know there are things that matter a lot more. This is one of them. Be good to each other, people.
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That is so terrible...my deepest condolences to Mr. Loeb and his family. Sigh...really puts things in perspective huh?
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That sucks...my condolences as well to Mr. Loeb and co.
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Jul 01, 2005 1:27:07 PM CDT
My condolences Mr. Loeb, and other less meaningful things.
by the heathen
I picked up the hard cover to Supreme Power after hearing it was consistent in quality and I was blown away. Really good series. Of course the title is dropping the MAX and becoming a Marvel Knights imprint right when I jump on. Frank can draw beautiful women, and I admit it will suck to not have that option anymore. If HoM really does change or "fix" continuity as Marvel says. I think it is a giant slap in the face to the writers, artists, editors, and especially the readers. Is it just for the past ten years? Granted there have been HORRIBLE stories in those times (leather X-Men, cat like Beast, secondary powers, Osborn & Gwen, etc.), but I think a real company would stand-up in a situation like this and just make better stories and admit their mistakes. In my opinion if they wanted to fix something they should have HoM be a dream. Which would only piss me off half as much, but still piss me off. Also, I haven't kept up with the Hush character after Mr. Loebs storyline. What's he up to?
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Since Loeb's HUSH storyline, the character has pretty much been a supporting character in the GOTHAM KNIGHTS title. I haven't read the latest issue, but Hush has hunted down and beat the hell out of the Riddler for what happened in "Hush." He's taken Prometheus (from Morrison's JLA) on as an enforcer. It was revealed that he has Thomas Elliot in a basement somewhere, so who knows who Hush really is, since he's not Jason Todd or Elliot. I've only been half following GOTHAM KNIGHTS because of the drawn out Poison Ivy and Riddler storylines, but Hush seems to be the guy causing more of a pain for Gotham's criminal element than he is for Batman lately. Black Mask in particular doesn't like him becuase he supposedly has control of the GOtham Underworld and Hush isn't under his thumb. Oh yeah, and Hush bitch-slapped the Joker and left him for dead in front of his gang on a Gotham street (and it turns out the Joker is locked away in the Red Hood's lair as his prisoner/punching bag and if you know who Red Hood is, you know why he has a mad-on for the Joker). Hush turned out to be a decent character despite the convoluted storyline in which he was introduced.
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with regard to the Hush character, is he Tommy Elliot or not? Lets not drag this mystery out for the next two years or so. He's an interesting new character. I hope he doesn't get run into the ground ala Venom vs. Spidey. But please, isn't he just a little stereotypical? Old friend now a sworn enemy? It has been done a few times, I think. I know this'll fall under next week (maybe) but just how does the "World's Greatest Detective" let this new turn of events come to pass? I know the @ssholes should have a field day with this one.
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Jul 02, 2005 7:54:18 AM CDT
"it turns out the Joker is locked away in the Red Hood's lai
by gus nukem
you 're referring to the Winick issues, right ?
and after reading the 'Hush' storyline, it was pretty clear that Hush was Tommy Elliot - how come he isn't ? -
That doesn't make much sense at the moment, but we'll see I guess? Seems Batman has a lot on his plate with Hush, Red Hood, Black Mask, and confronting the League. Do you think Hush will tie into Infinite Crisis in any way? He seems to be a major villain for Batman, having done what he's done, but I haven't picked up on any clues of his involvement in the big crisis. Maybe him and the Red Hood are working together?
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are Marvel using this HOM event to finally come to terms with the whole continuity mess? with the regular universe and ultimates and all the rest created? didn't marvel promise they had a way to fix this or something a while back? is this it? hmmmmmm.....continuity....such a dirty word.
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Jul 02, 2005 3:08:52 PM CDT
Mr. Blackthought why are you lurking at the bottom of this talkb
by gus nukem
looking for the fabled 'LAST' post, oh adventurer?
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I have clamed the fabled "LAST" post for the last 5 or so AICNCOMICS talkbalk.....so i venture forth and claim my rightful prize....LAST.
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the game is ON!
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I can't believe you stained my eyes with something from the LXG movie.....ouch.
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batman begins is still making money and staying strong...what happened to all those "it bombed" stuff?
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Let me echo again the offensive immoral Cap. I knew Wolverine would ruin New Avengers,and I am sad to see I was correct. Plus, Batman Begins was fine, but it is overrated just for not sucking and blowing.
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where you at? cuz i'm still last.
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guess i'm waitin' til tomorrow for a new talkback..........
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Who the fuck is Ambrose Chase??!
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I am LAST!
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And I wasn't mispelling "segue." Segway (in that form and definition) was a made up word for, as I said before, changing topics. But thanks anyway, Sirnought. I learned a new word today.
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