Hey folks, Harry here... I love that this film is finally getting released here in the United States. The Spierig brothers went in and tightened the film, getting rid of some of the redundant scenes. But frankly, I just wish this would have come out about a year and a half ago. Before SHAUN OF THE DEAD, before the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake and before LAND OF THE DEAD. Because following those, it isn't quite going to deliver the impact that it had on me before seeing those films. Don't get me wrong, it's still a fun as hell movie and if you're a zombie movie lover you absolutely must go see this movie immediately. It's just... For me, this was the first zombie movie in the modern run of flicks. Instead of the last.
Hey Harry and the Gang, MiraJeff here, reporting from lovely Los Angeles where I'm interning around town for the summer. Now that the results are in and Land of the Dead scared up $10 million, it proves zombie flicks are all the rage today, as they have been since 28 Days Later re-animated the genre, which put the zombie film back on the map. Since then we've also seen a pretty good Dawn of the Dead remake and a very funny zom-com in Shaun of the Dead. However, the inherent downside of all these good zombie films is that eventually, a bad one is inevitable. And unfortunately, it is my duty to weigh in on a ghastly little atrocity called Undead, a film directed by Peter and Michael Spierig that is finally getting release from Lion's Gate this weekend.
Set in the peaceful fishing town of Berkeley, Undead begins with a campy 60's B-movie title sequence, complete with hokey score. Immediately, the audience knows the film will be tongue-in-cheek. It's also clear from the tone of the film that it isn't trying to attract new fans to the genre. Undead plays straight into the hands of zombie and gore enthusiasts, thought comes up short of making a significant impression.
The premise unfolds with a meteorite explosion in outer space. Huge chunks of alien rock plummet to Earth, blazing through the sky. They fall through car roofs, crushing the heads of passengers trying to escape the doomed town. The rocks get hurled through people's chests, leaving as many gaping holes as an all-black gangbang. As townspeople stare at the fallen victims, imagine their surprise when their fellow Berkeley residents immediately pop back up, reborn with a newfound appreciation for human blood and brains.
Our hero in this mess is Rene, an incredibly ordinary-looking beauty pageant winner. The local bank has just foreclosed on her family's farm and she finds herself with her parents' heavy debt. Rene is about to leave town to make something of herself, as her new sleaze-ball agent promises her. Of course, Rene's car doesn't make it out of town and it isn't long before she finds herself under attack from the walking dead. She's saved from becoming zombie food by a mysterious gunman, Marion (Mungo McKay), a man with secrets of his own. McKay is by far, the best part of the movie. With an arsenal of weapons at his disposal, including a couple of bad-ass shotguns, he blows away one zombie's torso, leaving a waddling stump with a bloody spine sticking out of it.
As acid rain begins to pour down on the town, Rene, Marion, and the other uninfected take shelter in Marion's safe-room in the basement of his house. They include a pair of over-the-top, annoying, bumbling cops, and a pregnant couple. None of these characters are likable or remotely interesting, and the script relegates them to incoherent babbling in thick, Australian accents. The only recognizable words out of their mouths are "fuck" and "me." Their delirium is distracting incomprehensible, and while their reactions are more typical human reactions than the calm demeanor displayed by characters in other zombie movies, listening to them piss and moan for 15 minutes doesn't make for great cinema. I mean, conflict is more than just Aussies yelling at each other.
Undead features an overkill of violent, random gun play. Marion seems to hide guns everywhere on his body and makes a show of using them. The zombie bullet holes he inflicts resemble leaking assholes.
There is gore aplenty, from blood-spattered windshields to exploding heads to sliding-off faces and zombie fish, but this mess doesn't make up for the fact that the story is thinner than Lindsay Lohan and harder to understand than the Jackson verdict. The plot hardly ever seems to move forward, but I guess people don't go to see zombie movies for the plot.
When blue-colored filters of light start beaming up insects and people, suspending them in the air, and aliens in black cloaks appear, the questions start flying a mile a minute and the answers are left unresolved for the most part.
McKay is definitely the film's shining star as the bad-ass marksman who can pull off wearing heel spurs. Why nobody trusts him is anybody's guess. His quiet brooding and violent outbursts provide Vinnie Jones-like energy.
Undead did bring some new ideas to the zombie genre, adding an extraterrestrial twist to the proceedings, but its originality is overshadowed by its annoying characters, awful dialogue, and mediocre script. At least it didn't feature a stalled car. This movie plays like the opening act to the band everyone in the arena is paying to see, aka Land of the Dead. For a low budget foreign horror movie, the visual effects are impressive and could've been worse. With a bigger budget and more experienced actors and crew, the Spierig Bros. could be filmmakers to keep your eye on. Just don't go into Undead expecting Romero-like goodness. You'll be as disappointed as I was. Lion's Gate has been the shit lately, with Saw, High Tension, and The Devil's Rejects on the way. This time though, they missed the mark completely. I'll be back this week with another thumbs up for The Aristocrats, and a brilliant doc deliciously titled, MURDERBALL. And I may have a couple more surprises coming your way.
Til then, AICN.
This is MiraJeff, finally signing off to take a dump.
