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Quint is finally reunited with Spielberg! AICN visits the set of WAR OF THE WORLDS: Part 1!!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with my experiences on the set of WAR OF THE WORLDS, the new Sci-Fi mega-budget extravaganza by someone who knows a thing or two about aliens... I know what you're thinking... I don't know why they'd let me anywhere near Spielberg either, but thanks to a few well placed beings of light and beauty at Paramount I found myself with an invite to visit Steven Spielberg, Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning and the crew on location during their last day of principal photography of WAR OF THE WORLDS.

I wrote all this report in one big 5,000 plus words chunk. Realizing that's a whole lot and would test the patience of even the most devoted readers out there, I've decided to break the report up into two halves. It actually split quite nicely. Anticipate the second and final report Monday or Tuesday at the latest! Now on with the show!

This visit was in the "maybe" stage for a good while and I thought I was going to hit it in February before jumping on an air plane to New Zealand where I was set to spend a month watching more giant monkey stuff. It didn't work out before I left and I knew they wrapped before I got back, so I figured the visit was out of the question until I got contacted about possibly cutting my trip to New Zealand short by about 5 days in order to make it back in time for the final day of shooting.

Now here was my conundrum... I was getting to visit Peter Jackson and crew every day while I was in NZ, so by cutting my trip short was taking 4 solid days of visiting KING KONG, hanging with the crew (many of them now friends after the time I spent on ROTK and KONG) and soaking up the warm New Zealand summer sun... However, I had spent an almost solid 2 months pestering the poor people on the KONG set and I've never even seen Spielberg in the flesh before, so the decision to cut my trip short wasn't too difficult to reach. I consider myself blessed that I was in a place where I HAD to make that decision in the first place. These two flicks will, surely, be two of the biggest films of the year, both directors icons in their own right and me, the lucky bastard in the middle who got to see them both work.

As it turned out, I got into LA early only to find that Tom Cruise had the flu, so they delayed shooting until the following week, so there was quite a few lazy days in Hollywood where I did lotsa walking around... To the Chinese Theater to watch CONSTANTINE digitally projected, to Amoeba Records to spend hours upon hours flipping through the used DVDs, to In-N-Out Burger... hmm... that's a good burger...

Then the day came. They were shooting nights on location someplace outside of LA that's called Mystery Messa. I got picked up and taken to set... the drive lasted for an hour and a half, but at least I got to see a big car fire on the highway leading out of the city while my driver told me about the history of I-5 (it was apparently built on a long used wagon path) and how often he pulls 36 hour shifts.

Fifty minutes into the car trip, I saw the first sign for the production, a big yellow sign with black letters: WoW. We were off the main highway shortly after that and driving through a part of California I've never been to. Strangely enough the suburbs we passed looked a whole lot like the ones in POLTERGEIST. The sun was setting as we started twisting and turning through smaller, hilly roads. We came upon another sign for the production, this one an illuminated warning: "Pyrotechnics in use!" Shortly after that we pulled into the mostly vacant crew parking lot just as night overtook dusk.

Talking with one of the people at Paramount (who wished to not be identified in case the pigs and feds are reading this) via cell phone, I was told to wait for her at crew parking, so it was just me and the driver for about 20-25 minutes. While we were talking a sudden, bright flash followed by a loud POP! made us both jump. In the distance (hard to tell just how far away... could have been a mile, could have been 2 miles) a HUGE fireball illuminated the surrounding trees and hillside with a brightness almost equal to daylight. They weren't kidding with those "Warning! Pyrotechnics in Use" signs...

Soon thereafter, the Paramount people arrived, including Karl Williams (publicist dude) and the Unidentified Paramount employee I mentioned earlier. We all piled into one of their cars and drove up the steep hillside to the first security checkpoint. Two security guards approached. The Paramount people convinced the security guards that they've owned me for 3 or 4 seasons now and I was up for sale if the guards wanted me. The guard was convinced that I was not the geek they were looking for, so they moved us along.

Base camp was arranged like a long, narrow alley. Instead of walls, each side of the drive was bordered by cars, trucks, tents, Honey Wagons (portable shit-houses) and trailers. We drove down past all these (including the much talked about "tent" and no, I didn't go in) to park. Half a mile away from our parking spot, on the top of a rolling, green hill (yeah, I didn't know they had those anywhere near LA, either) were tons of cranes holding huge lights.

Shortly after parking, I was introduced to Deb Wuliger, the unit publicist on WAR OF THE WORLDS, and I received a sweet Visitor Badge that kept me from being kicked off set by some huge mountain man-security guard watching from the shadows, I'm sure.

Anyway, Deb told me that the shuttle that'd take us the half-mile to set was going to be busy for about 20 minutes, but if I wanted to walk it we could head up as soon as I was ready. I was all for a walk, especially in this beautiful part of the country, so we hoofed it along a dirt path to set.

It was a beautiful night, the air brisk, but not too cold. The dirt path that led to set was only faintly illuminated by the lights onset... the fact that they were half a mile away and we were still able to walk by their light shows just how much power goes into these suckers... The area was almost as beautiful as the weather that night. It reminded me a lot of the moors from John Landis' AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON... Rounded hills, devoid of human structures. Just green.

We passed a large pond that was alive with the sounds of thousands of frogs croaking. It was a strangely melodic and hypnotic sound, all these frogs croaking in unison. There was a small amount of low-laying fog creeping across the pond. We rounded a corner to see some human dwellings after all. These were constructed by the production on location to match those that were shot in Virginia.

The first to grab my eye was a two story white house with the corner blown out. Brick, splintered wood and various other rubble lay around the the hole in the house... Apparently this house has something to do with Tim Robbins' character, but everyone was so tight-lipped about this project that I didn't get any specifics. The other structure was more of a rickety brown shack that didn't look very sturdy at all. Back behind the rickety shack was an even smaller and dingier shed. Both the white house and the brown rickety ones were covered in THE RED WEED. The below pic has the houses and the hills, but looks to be pre-Red Weed... I'd also say that's Virginia, not the location I visited, but Mystery Messa looked a whole lot like the below:

These houses were right at the foot of a hill. There was a steep path leading up to the top of the hill where the set was. The path was bordered by wooden fences, which were covered in the red weed, as well. Also by the foot of the hill there was a carcass of a cow, covered in the weed. This was pretty grotesque, with its stomach opened and hollowed out, the skin starting to stretch over the ribcage... and the red weed covering it looked like some kind of disgusting dried placenta. Taking a closer look (and feel) to the red weed I could smell the latex... I'm sure most of you know it from your trick or treating days wearing various monster masks...

Huffing and puffing my way up the path to the set I noticed there were a bunch of suitcases littering the ditches to the right and left. I don't know if this was part of the set design or just a dumping area for extras that didn't want to carry their shit around when not in use. I finally got to the top of the hill and got my first glimpse at the production.

First off, the hilltop was full of people... I'd say there was easily 100-150 people on the hill... most were crew, some were extras... There were Army people and refugees. Some of the refugees had burns on their faces... or was it some kind of rot? I couldn't really tell, but they weren't very happy looking no matter what it was.

Also on the hilltop were Army vehicles. I was told a little later by one of the crew (I think it was the props guy) that the tank was an M1 Abrams tank and the guns on the two army hummers were 50 calibre machine guns. There was also a "tow missile" in there. These vehicles were surrounded by no less than 4 cherry pickers and 2 massive cranes that held enormous lights of different colors and brightness levels (we'll get to those in a minute.)

Deb pulled me away from the Paramount people and planted me about 8 feet behind the only camera shooting this scene. I figured Spielberg would be in his tent watching his monitors, but I was wrong. He walked up to the camera, which was low to the ground, sat on an apple box (the handiest tool on any movie set, be it indie or mega-blockbuster... a simple chunk of wood that can be used as a tray, a step, a seat, a table... anything), put his eye to the eyepiece on the camera and spoke.

"Ready to go, Janusz?"

"Janusz" is, of course, Janusz Kaminski, cinematographer to the stars. He's shot every one of Spielberg's films from SCHINDLER'S LIST on. Kaminski got about another minute to talk to his lighting guys before he gave the thumbs up and they rolled the first shot of WAR OF THE WORLDS that I got to see filmed, with Spielberg himself controlling the camera. For those curious, this was scene 105A according to the slate.

This scene had no stars in it, focusing on an Army commander yelling orders into a walkie-like device, communicating with someone piloting a fighter jet, I'm assuming. I didn't catch everything that was said, but I'll report what I did get...

The gist of the scene is the army is trying to protect the refugees from the invaders. I heard some really geek-happy lines like "Do you have a visual on the pods?" and "I need you to hit that lead tripod!" This was followed by the lights flashing, mimicking an explosion, I take it, and the guy on the other side of the walkie saying "No effect! No effect!" There is a call for more jets... something about "Bringing in the Raptors." Raptors meaning jets, not dinosaurs... I think. hehe Then I heard, "I got fireflies decimating my friendlies!" The end of the conversation is the guy on the other end of the walkie getting hit and bailing out of his aircraft.

Spielberg said, "Cut. Good." And they checked the gate, then changed lenses. They went again. The lights flashing alternating red, bright white and green during the scene. The green was specifically cool to see... call me a geek, but seeing tanks and Army men bathed in green light when they're trying to fight off alien invaders really gets my juices flowing.

After stopping the take once because some of the Army personnel were looking too close to the camera, Spielberg got what he wanted and moved on. I'd like to note that all of the Army personnel were active Army members from the area.

Without moving the camera, they changed lenses again and shot a new scene, which had lots and lots of blanks being fired.

This shot had the refugees running towards and past the tanks while the army is trying to hold the mob back. All the time, the tanks and 50 calibre Humvee mounted machine guns are shooting in the opposite direction (the direction the mob is trying to run to, for some reason). Red, white and green lights flash here at specific points, too. Tom Cruise was in there, somewhere, but from where I was standing I couldn't really see him.

Before this shot was set up I was introduced to a fellow by the name of Laurent Bouzereau, who is Spielberg's main man when it comes to LD/DVD packages of his movies since the mid '90s. Of course, the first thing I did was inquire about a 30th Anniversary JAWS SE. Strangely enough, he didn't think that was going to happen, but just recently a new DVD has been announced. The Special Features look to almost exactly mirror the first DVD that came out, but I hear that the original Mono soundtrack will be on this disc. Thank God! I hate the canned splashes and little pops the gunshots make in the updated sound mix. Not to mention the absence of that great sound the last shot makes when Brody blows the hell outta the shark. Um... I mean, the DVD looks cool. I'm not a JAWS nerd or anything...

Bouzereau told me a story that I must confess I'd heard before, but it's a good one. He asked me if I knew the French title for JAWS.

"Yeah, Les Dents de la Mer." Which means THE TEETH OF THE SEA. See... I'm no JAWS nerd...

He told me how the original title for JAWS 2 was Les Dents de la Mer Deux, as picked by Universal... That looks fine on paper, however when spoken aloud that sounds like THE TEETH OF THE SHIT. So, they decided upon Les Dents de la Mer Deuxieme Partie, which translates to THE TEETH OF THE SEA PART TWO. Told ya' it was a good one.

So, the shot of the refugees running was up. I didn't get any earplugs, so I braved the loud blanks... I've heard small, AK-47 blanks shot before and that was loud enough to make me jump... You can only imagine how loud a 50 cal. machine gun is... or a tank firing, for that matter. It was enough to vibrate my very spine. If you knew how well insulated my spine is, you'd know that's saying a lot.

The shot was gotten pretty quickly and I wandered around, trying to get out of the crew members' way as they were turning the camera around to shoot down the hill, towards the flatter land where the two houses were. Deb found me and introduced me to a nice lady named Lee Anne De Vette. I had no earthly idea who she was at the time, but I later found out that she was Tom Cruise's sister and publicist.

We chatted a bit before she said, "He wants to meet you, so if you're ready..." I was thinking, "He? He who?" But my brain immediately answered back; "You know damn well he who..."

And so it was that she took me to meet Steven Spielberg.


Look out for the second half of the report next week, squirts! Tons of goodies you really, really don't want to miss, I swear. 'Til then this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu!


Readers Talkback
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  • May 13, 2005, 3:12 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    ; D

  • May 13, 2005, 3:13 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    god these firsters are annoying ; D

  • May 13, 2005, 3:24 a.m. CST

    Sure you meant to say that.

    by MattCG

    WHEN ARE WE GONNA SEE SOME GODDAMN ALIENS??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? I give a fuck about Tom Cruise about as much as I'd give a fuck about the short, pretty guy I was going to rape in jail. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE ALIENS?!?!!?

  • May 13, 2005, 3:42 a.m. CST

    i agree

    by banthafodderUK

    where the fuck are the aliens steven???????? if i wanted to have a wank over tom cruise i'd watch top gun - aliens please.

  • May 13, 2005, 3:47 a.m. CST

    nice post

    by roninam

    you know, i really wasn't looking forward to this movie at all. but after see the trailers the past few months and now Quint's part 1, i think this may be something to watch.

  • May 13, 2005, 3:52 a.m. CST

    Teeth of the Sea

    by dude_gimme_tabs

    "Teeth of the Sea" is a much, much better title than Jaws !!!

  • May 13, 2005, 4:05 a.m. CST

    jesus h christ that put me too sleep

    by myfatarse

    did he get to any semblance of a point? i got half way down the column and then woke up about an hour later. Does no-one writing on here know how to be a little concise?

  • May 13, 2005, 4:19 a.m. CST


    by d8cam

    you can't leave an article on a cliffhanger man!

  • May 13, 2005, 4:25 a.m. CST

    Is the full trailer still gonna be attached to SITH or not?

    by Commando Cody

    Wasn't there supposed to be a new FULL (and final) trailer next week attached to SITH that finally showed us some tripods or martian material? Or has that plan been scrapped now?

  • May 13, 2005, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Could be the best film of the summer

    by John-Locke

    All depends which Speilberg turned up to shoot this mofo, If it's the Spielberg who made Jaws, Close Encounters, ET, Raiders and even Minority Report at a pinch, then we should be in for one hell of a ride. If on the other hand this was made by the Cheesily sentimental fellow who made Always and AI, well it could suck large donkey balls.

  • May 13, 2005, 5:21 a.m. CST

    Well, it has (one of) the things ID4 was lacking ...

    by Shan

    ... Ground War! Ground War! No-one has ever won a war just using air power, so what makes anyone think we'd win a war just with aircraft when the enemies aircraft are ABOVE us? (Don't get me started on writing a computer virus on a laptop that brings down an alien invasion fleet) ...

  • May 13, 2005, 5:22 a.m. CST

    When do we get a KONG trailer?

    by pilgrim57

  • May 13, 2005, 5:23 a.m. CST

    Plus ...

    by Shan

    I want to see people fighting on the ground with tanks and guns and people shooting stuff and things on the ground getting blown up and things like that.

  • May 13, 2005, 5:43 a.m. CST

    You know, I could use a tri-pod pic right about now...

    by pencil-man 'bout it Quint, you take any art from the set? A link would be nice here people. Where are all the spies now???

  • May 13, 2005, 5:50 a.m. CST

    That opening title in the charlie sheen spoof "Une Film De Jerry

    by Spacesheik

  • May 13, 2005, 6:12 a.m. CST

    Can't wait for the second report.

    by CurryIce

  • WHAT

  • May 13, 2005, 7:07 a.m. CST

    The Norwegian title for Jaws

    by Colonel_Blimp

    is Haisommer, which translates to "Sharksummer". The movie actually has a pretty bad reputation in Norway, probably due to the z-movie title (and the z-movie sequels no doubt). Oh, and WoW will kick ass.

  • May 13, 2005, 7:54 a.m. CST

    "The movie (Jaws) actually has a pretty bad reputation in Norway

    by Triumph poops!

    How can JAWS -- regardless of how fucked up of a job they did giving it an alternate, translated Norwegian name -- have a "bad reputation"? JAWS is a fucking movie masterpiece! You could call it anything you want and nothing would change that bottom line. What, did these people in Norway just not watch the friggin' thing? Or do they just have utterly crappy taste over there?

  • May 13, 2005, 8:27 a.m. CST

    Lookin' good

    by sleepyhead

    You just know this is gonna be huge - even the trailer whupped Fantastic Four's skinny, weightless cgi ass, remember.

  • May 13, 2005, 8:34 a.m. CST

    "do they just have utterly crappy taste over there?"

    by DocPazuzu

    Yes, they do. In Sweden Jaws was simply called "Hajen", literally "The Shark." You can

  • May 13, 2005, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Best way to tell a Story Cunt, er, I mean Quint...

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    Start as late as you can into a story, then end as quickly as you can. Then Fuck off. This post had half of it as boring flipping set up, then a relatively brief story about some army guys shooting stuff for about a few takes for 2 scenes at the most. Testing our patience with 2 posts to tell this story? Just tell it in one and get lost. You've been hanging with George Lucas and his scriptwriting asslickers too much mate. I appreciate build up and foreplay to anything as much as the next guy, in fact my wanks over Michelle Heaton getting her ass kicked on Celebrity Wrestling contains a lot of anticipation and exposition (no not that kind) before the actual sex fight that results in her squirming orgasmically like a constipated snake, but shit even I know that after 30 seconds I'm gonna explode and turn my room into looking like a rice pudding vat. We can't hold our attentions that long. By the way, I'm a Film Extra in the UK. Don't believe all that shit about Tom Cruise shagging Katie Holmes, he's a fudge packing gayboy cowboy, heard stories about him on set. In fact it wouldn't suprise me if he had no cock and used his huge conk of a nose instead to feltchface the arse of all his gay Personal Assistants.

  • Go figure.

  • May 13, 2005, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Great cliffhanger ending there, Quint!

    by numberface

    Good report. Can't wait to read the next part. I'd give my pinky toe to be in your shoes on that day, I can tell you. By "give" I mean have half of it removed under general anathetic. After all, I'm not fucking crazy. I know that sounds pretty tame to a guy who was bitten in half by a shark, but sacrifice is still sacrifice...

  • May 13, 2005, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Tom Cruise story

    by Wee Willie

    Okay, this isn't actually a Tom Cruise story, but it cracked me up. Recently my wife and I were at a fundraising dinner for our son's preschool. We used to live in the city, now we live in the 'burbs. We're sitting at a table with all these joe-golf office drones and their wives, all of whom are having a rousing discussion about how pointless it is to read novels. (I'm not kidding.) So my wife casually mentions that she and I work in the film business. (We're not big shots, but we both work in the industry) So one of the wives asks if we've ever met anyone famous? We say yes, of course. Then she goes, "Is Tom Cruise gay?" And I replied that I had no idea, but considering he's been married, has kids, and a string of hot girlfriends, that I thought the gay rumours were just that: rumours. Then this woman says "My friend's, hairdresser's boyfriend swears he had sex with Tom Cruise." I didn't know how to respond to this earth-shattering revelation, so I shrugged. Then this lady goes on to say "You know what else? Tom Cruise's 'thing' doesn't work. He has a prosthetic penis. That's why he and Nicole (She said "Nicole" like she and Kidman were old pals or something) had to adopt." So then I asked, "If his penis doesn't work, how did your friend's, hairdresser's boyfriend have sex with him?" She replied that Cruise was a 'taker', not a 'giver'. Then she said "You know those actors, they all go both ways anyway." So I said, "Do you mean to tell me that Tom Cruise takes it up the butt?" And then her joe-golf, illiterate office drone husband pipes in and says "Don't talk to my wife that way." Then my wife piped in that there's lots of rumours about famous people and not all of them are true. And this woman says "I know what I heard and it's true." So I called her a retard. Things went downhill from there.

  • May 13, 2005, 9:42 a.m. CST

    So, Quint...

    by Darth Busey are the Scientology classes working out?

  • May 13, 2005, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Tom Cruise is not gay!

    by Kentucky Colonel

    And the Pope is not Catholic, either. Coincidence?

  • May 13, 2005, 10:11 a.m. CST

    The general Norwegian public has pretty crappy taste, yeah

    by Colonel_Blimp

    A girl I know actually, honestly, thinks Jaws 4 (the revenge) is the best of the series. It's true. Jaws is of course one of my all time favourite movies, probably second only to ESB. Other funny movie translation tidbits: miss congeniality was just redubbed miss undercover (in english), as the powers that be really have no faith in our linguistic capabilities. Others: You only live twice = James Bond in Japan, North By Norhwest = With the heart in your throat (it sounds a little bit better in norwegian, but not much), The Shining = Hotel of evil (kind of gives it away, doesn't it?), The manchurian candidate = Queen of Diamonds Kills, Speed = The bus that couldn't slow down. OK, I made that last one up.

  • May 13, 2005, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Sadly this will suck!

    by bigjeffrey

    It'll be more of the Minority Report/Terminal Spielberg I think! This project was rushed and it's gonna look rushed. The lack of locations won't help it much either! I want it to work so bad but it won't!

  • May 13, 2005, 10:20 a.m. CST

    What About the Scientology Tent?

    by Brock Samson

    Quint, did you go into the Scientology Tent? Did they give you an E-meter reading? Did Cruise tell you how to get rid of your "body theatans"? Ask the important questions, damnit! Also, I'd bet Cruise is Gay. Who wants odds!

  • May 13, 2005, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Tom Cruise

    by bluemancbrit

    hate the man as an 'actor', Minority Report was about the only time I watched him and didnt puke, but full marks for Katie Holmes.

  • May 13, 2005, 10:30 a.m. CST

    "kind of gives it away, doesn't it?"

    by DocPazuzu

    I've got another example of that, again from Sweden: Charles Laughton's The Night of the Hunter was renamed "Trasdockan" in Sweden, which means "The Rag Doll." How fucking stupid can you get?

  • May 13, 2005, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Stop stretching it out , Quint.

    by Veraxus

    You know damn well that if the article is good we'll read it no matter how long it is. Now I'll just forget about it and end up not reading the second half. Jerk >:(

  • May 13, 2005, 11:38 a.m. CST

    This isn't about aliens, it's about the people!

    by performingmonkey

    This is why we haven't seen any alien action. The invasion is simply a backdrop for the very human drama. It's gonna be Private Ryan but with aliens instead of WW2 landing.

  • May 13, 2005, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Quint, you bastard

    by TheFakeMoriarty

    Not only does the shark man get to visit Spielberg, but he also decides to merely whet our appetites for now. How could you possibly end your first half there? Right before you get to meet the man himself, you decide to leave us hanging for a few days! Argh! I think you're just trying to be like QT and have us all pissed because we have to wait for a REALLY long time to see where you take the report. I hate you, so very much. No offense, though.

  • May 13, 2005, 12:04 p.m. CST

    Wee Willie: She WAS a retard! Good for you. Why do people bel

    by Barry Egan

    And I am dying to know what the logic was in not reading novels. Was it the same argument Jacks' future father-in-law gives in Sideways?

  • May 13, 2005, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Oooh how I hate those Norwegians and Swedes . . .

    by Harry Coin

    . . . nefarious fuckers. Over there in Northern Europe, eating their lutafisk (or however those dastardly whale murderers spell it) and molesting reindeer. It figures they would hate spielberg, because they have no souls (just kidding, but they are socalists, which is kinda like not having a soul)!

  • May 13, 2005, 12:32 p.m. CST

    "nefarious fuckers"

    by DocPazuzu

    The Norwegians murder whales. And club baby seals. Swedes don't. However they do molest reindeer. And only half the population are socialsts. But 100% lack soul. And souls.

  • May 13, 2005, 12:44 p.m. CST

    ak 47s? not to nitpick

    by filmnazi

    but the US army doesn't use AK's

  • May 13, 2005, 12:45 p.m. CST

    lucky bastich!!

    by invalid quinn

    You are so luck quint! My goodness.

  • May 13, 2005, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Wee Willie, thanks man.

    by L.H.Puttgrass

    That's funny! There are people that will beleive anything. And everything. It keeps the Enquirer in the black.

  • May 13, 2005, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Amoeba in LA is an abomination...

    by iamnicksaicnsn


  • May 13, 2005, 1:32 p.m. CST

    I'll sum up the story for all of you...

    by Hail

    Quint leaves NZ, shows up to WoW set, walks around, and writes a cliff-hanger. You know you got a whole lotta nothing when you start talking about frogs croaking, and Jaws stories that are boring.

  • May 13, 2005, 1:54 p.m. CST

    fuck shit wanker

    by fitzcarraldo2


  • May 13, 2005, 2:29 p.m. CST

    That's so typical

    by Colonel_Blimp

    All you americans ever associate with Norway is whalekilling. There's more to us than that! We have beautiful women! We invented the paperclip. We won the olympic gold in curling! We make crappy movies! Oh, and it's lutEfisk, actually.

  • May 13, 2005, 3:03 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    ...technically Veiviseren was Norwegian and it kicked ass. Mors Elling was shit, though. A bigger crime than killing whales with paperclips is the fact that Mors Elling is on DVD and Veiviseren isn't. Maybe if you guys funneled some of all that North Sea oil cash into the movie business instead of into those creepy Ivan Drago training camps for your skiers, we might have something. Look at the Danes: they have no oil, invent nothing, kill nothing, and win nothing at sporting events. Their film and television output is fucking amazing and all they do is hang out, drink beer and talk funny.

  • May 13, 2005, 3:31 p.m. CST

    far better than EpIII crap

    by MinasTirithII

    this will own the Box Officer over that cry baby vader

  • May 13, 2005, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Lutefisk, lutefuck, whatever. . .

    by Harry Coin

    ya think with all those hot Northern European chicks they would take a brake from killing marine mammals and bang some of that sweet northern poon-tang. But they are to busy preserving their fish in goddamn soap to even notice. C'mon, preserving your food with lye? At least when we rape our food of all it's health benefits we try to make it taste good. I do I have to give props to the 'Wegians for their fjords. Nice bit of work. What the hell was the talkback about?

  • Pretty sure he did.

  • May 13, 2005, 3:45 p.m. CST

    i hate that they change titles for different countries. it's li

    by HypeEndsHere

    it's "New" York, bitchassmotherfuckers.

  • May 13, 2005, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Rationales for not reading...

    by Wee Willie

    Among the arguments the Joe-Golf office drones and their wives gave for not reading novels were" "No one talks about novels. If you're going to bother reading, read the paper, people talk about things in the paper." "You can't learn anything useful from reading novels" "Who has time for reading. I'd rather watch sports." and, my favorite: "I lose track of all the stuff happening in novels." The only person at the table who actually read a novel recently was one guy's wife who read Harry Potter. The only thing that would have made that evening remotely interesting would have been if I'd drank too much and thrown up all over the table.

  • May 13, 2005, 4:15 p.m. CST

    Military fighting the tripods

    by TygerClaw

    Interesting read, But I wonder, The scene they were filming with the walkie talkies, I wonder if they Will show the actual battle with the military and the pods, I hope it's not just scenes where there talking on those walkie talkies and just hearing the reaction of the person on the other end rather then seeing them in action.

  • I've met people like that. One-interest guys with their trophy wives who think a great conversation is one about whether or not some actor is gay. As for the guy who said "I lose track of all the stuff happening in novels" someone should tell him that "Where's Waldo" is not a novel.

  • May 13, 2005, 5:03 p.m. CST

    It will blow stinky chunks

    by SgtElias

    This will sadly suck. TC and SS couldn't make a hardcore ass-kicking flick if their lives depended on it. I'm gonna cringe when the first pseudo-precocious kid says some dumbass joke and utterly takes you out of the moment. Take a friggen clue from Orson Welles and don't relieve the tension, don't have dumbass jokes, and don't have a lightweight sidekick who screams "this is schlock!" ever time he comes on screen. No? So it will be formulaic SS and it will BLOW.

  • May 13, 2005, 5:08 p.m. CST

    I'll show you a tri-pod right here.

    by I Dunno

    This sounds more like Signs than anything else. And can we have some more Spielbergian shots of people looking off camera in awe? MST3K compiled a clip of shots from Spielberg movies where people were staring in amazement at something off screen. It lasted about 15 minutes.

  • May 13, 2005, 6:43 p.m. CST

    Yes, for Christ sake, edit!

    by Gheorghe Zamfir

    Its weird that the article starts off noting Quint wrote too much, and then follows that by plunging into paragraph after paragraph of useless info. Anyways, did enjoy the article after successfully scrolling to the point where information actually starts, look forward to part two.

  • May 13, 2005, 6:59 p.m. CST

    I completely forgot, we also won World Idol

    by Colonel_Blimp

    Our norwegian Idol, Kurt Nilsen went straight to the top! We rule! Oh, and Pazuzu, Veiviseren (or the Pathfinder for you non-scandinavians) exists on DVD. At least in Norway. I recommend or And finally, I hate lutefisk. Sorry to keep sidetracking this TB people, I'm just so excited we're actually discussing norwegian films here. On topic: War of the worlds will be the second best film of this summer, and I'm really glad they chose to do a contemporate setting, and not victorian England. This story is universal, folks.

  • May 13, 2005, 7:57 p.m. CST


    by whatyoufear

    i'll bet anyone here fifty bucks the aliens are re-hashed bigger versions of the crappy sea aliens from the abyss... or better yet, pissed off ET's with claws and fangs of doom and death!!!

  • May 13, 2005, 8:45 p.m. CST

    Evil ET?

    by turk128

    Psychotic ETs running around either ripping people apart or molesting them with tentacles? Midnight showing for me! Oh yeah, all this talk about Norway gets my nether regions tingling.

  • May 13, 2005, 10:26 p.m. CST

    Ah Kurt Nilsen

    by kuryakin

    I liked his version of that U2 song better than their own - whatever happened to that guy? And I concur with the beautiful women thing - though they are intimidatingly tall for us wee Scots. Lucky we like a challenge

  • May 14, 2005, 12:41 a.m. CST


    by Ribbons

    It's cool to take a peek into the process of making a big-budget flick, specifically one involving the Spielbergs and Kaminskis of Hollywood. *********** A question: what is the definition of "on location?" I always thought that meant that a film or TV show is being shot where the story is taking place, but that contradicts the impression I got while reading this.

  • May 14, 2005, 2:08 a.m. CST


    by Ribbons

    Thanks. I wasn't being accusatory or anything, just curious. "I always thought that dogs laid eggs, and I uh.. learned something today!"

  • May 14, 2005, 2:50 a.m. CST

    Great read

    by Darth Thoth

    That was a great read Quint. Your writing keeps getting better. Good job. You definitely left us with a cliffhanger and I can't wait for the second part of the report. Sounds like it was an amazing experience for you. I can't wait for this movie. Peace.

  • May 14, 2005, 3:55 a.m. CST

    Colonel Blimp

    by DocPazuzu

    I'll be ordering the DVD right away. Apparently it's a 2-disc set. Great links -- mange takk!

  • May 14, 2005, 5:10 a.m. CST

    Re: Kurt Nilsen

    by Colonel_Blimp

    Our hobbit-like idol is still going strong in Norway, but I believe his attempts at breaking through internationally failed miserably. He has dumped his homely girlfried/wife/mother of his children for a slightly less homely woman (but still not attractive by scandinavian standards, god we are so blas

  • May 14, 2005, 5:11 a.m. CST

    to clarify

    by Colonel_Blimp

    that friend of a friend of mine is a woman.

  • May 14, 2005, 10:40 a.m. CST

    You bastard Quint!

    by Brundlefly

    Just when it was getting good!

  • Thanks for clarifying Blimp. Your post cracked me up - no matter that it had nothing to do with War of the Worlds... in fact, I still can't work out how Norway has anything to do with the movie. And that sentence about steadicams in Norway - priceless. By the way, GoatZinger, I liked reading the detail leading up to the set visit - and thought it conveyed the anticipation that Quint obviously experienced before arriving on set. That's half the fun! I don't care if Spielberg once said he prefered "Nice" aliens to evil ones, I'm glad to know he's making more of the 'spectacle' films he started out making in his twenties. Bring it on! Don't like people staring off camera? It's part of his style and is completely appropriate for the movies he makes. As for turning the guns into walkie talkies... Well, I think Giant Alien Tripods pose a slightly greater threat than kids on BMX bikes, don't you? That's why Spielberg took them out of ET, because he felt it was excessive for a family film. War of the Worlds isn't a family film.

  • May 14, 2005, 1:07 p.m. CST


    by Homestar_Runyon

    Holy crap. i just read and entire talkback that had absolutly nothing to do with the movie. Sorry Quint, i love your setups and cliffhangers but i found myself more interested in movie titles in Norway and how one could find reading novels "pointless" than your article. Oh and this is my first post. Yeaaaa!!!

  • May 14, 2005, 2:13 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    You could do worse. Veiviseren, or The Pathfinder, is an awesome film and the 1987 foreign film Oscar winner (I think). Saami action/adventure films aren't too common. Seek it out at all costs. You won't regret it.

  • May 14, 2005, 3:03 p.m. CST


    by Homestar_Runyon

    i'll check it out doc

  • May 14, 2005, 3:21 p.m. CST

    "i hate that they change titles for different countries. it's li

    by CuervoJones

    hey, you say Spain and it

  • May 14, 2005, 3:30 p.m. CST

    No oscar for Veiviseren, I'm afraid

    by Colonel_Blimp

    Though it was nominated. We usually get an oscar nomination once every decade. In 1996, we were nominated for "The other side of sunday", which will always linger in my mind because of the electrifying scene where a teenage girl comes out of a bedroom, naked from the waist down, with blood all over her private area, uttering the immortal line: "I've fucked, and I've got my period!" ( Roughly translated, it's even more "immortal" in Norwegian: "Jeg har pult, ogs

  • May 14, 2005, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Talking with one of the people at Paramount (who wished to not b

    by white owl

    That narrows it down for the "pigs and feds".

  • May 14, 2005, 4:40 p.m. CST

    Harald Zwart...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...also directed the hilariously bad Hamilton, with Peter Stormare as a Swedish secret agent and Mark Hamill as an evil CIA renegade. Wasn't the Kon-Tiki made of reeds, by the way?

  • May 14, 2005, 4:44 p.m. CST

    Thanks Quint!

    by Windfola

    You are a lucky bastard indeed! Looking forward to read some more set reports!

  • May 14, 2005, 5:07 p.m. CST


    by Homestar_Runyon

    how old is Quint exactly? because i know he's young as shit and rolling in wallowing in the stuff my dreams are made of

  • May 14, 2005, 5:17 p.m. CST

    kon-tiki was made of balsa-wood mesa thinks

    by Colonel_Blimp

    Ra 1 and 2 were made of reeds. Ra 1 sank in the atlantic. And i actually like Hamilton (my secret shame!). Mostly because Peter Stormare is so fucking cool. The ending was crap though. And zwart made One Night At McCool's too.

  • May 14, 2005, 5:25 p.m. CST

    The funniest thing about Hamilton...

    by DocPazuzu the incredibly blatant product placement. I don't think I've ever seen a movie as overt in that regard -- like when Hamilton is picking a lock with his credit card and they show in a close-up that it's a Statoil card. Not to mention the weird close-up of an Ericsson satellite phone and our heroes drinking Pripps Bl

  • May 14, 2005, 5:35 p.m. CST

    The product placement

    by Colonel_Blimp

    is almost too obvious, like Zwart knew he had to put all these logos in to finance his film, so he might as well do it tounge in cheek. Like when they drive through dreary, cold Murmansk, the colors all grey and desaturated, and then suddenly they drive past a Statoil gas station which is lit up in splendid colors. And it's not like they stop or anything, they just drive past it, Stormare regarding it in slo-mo. It serves no story purpose whatsoever. Zwart's a funny guy, I think he did that on purpose. You don't even like Stormare in Fargo or Lebowski? I think he's absolutely great, although he's been typecast a lot as "eccentric eastern european guy" (Lost World, Armageddon etc), loved him speaking in swedish in Minority Report.

  • May 14, 2005, 5:46 p.m. CST

    He's awful.

    by DocPazuzu

    Let's be honest: yes, he's funny in Lebowski and Fargo, but those roles really don't demand very much. He may have worked with Bergman but he still can't act his way out of a wet paper bag. Standing around being sullen, unshaven and sweaty is not acting. At least not for him.

  • May 15, 2005, 2:09 a.m. CST

    Don't expect brilliance from Koepp...expect formula..

    by Rupee88

    The guy is a hack and will dumb down anything he writes. I guess that sells tickets to 100 IQ people, but it doesn't make a great film.

  • May 15, 2005, 11:25 a.m. CST

    I enjoyed Stormare in 'Constantine'

    by Ribbons

    I don't know if it's fair to say that the man "can't" act; while it makes as much sense as anything else, it's also possible that he just gives people what they expect of him in a movie. It's true that besides for the quacking in 'Minority Report,' he was basically playing the same guy he plays in everything else, but I dunno.

  • May 15, 2005, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Spielberg's next film: THE TEETH OF THE SHIT!

    by Lil Vibin'Rabbit

    LOL! Be careful next time you defecate in the toilet cuz the shit might bite back at your ass. The new film from Spielberg should make people think twice about sitting in the toilet and dumping yer own shits.

  • May 15, 2005, 12:45 p.m. CST

    and dumping yer own shits

    by Colonel_Blimp

    As compared to dumping someone else's shit(s). Which is not something you need to think twice about. Not recommended, though.

  • May 15, 2005, 1:44 p.m. CST

    In Soviet Russia, it's A Shark Eats You

    by durhay

    I'm here all week.

  • May 15, 2005, 6:12 p.m. CST

    when i'm in Spain, i'll say Espana. when you're in the USA it's

    by HypeEndsHere

  • May 15, 2005, 10:36 p.m. CST

    'In and Out' burgers... the finest in the world.

    by workshed

    I went to study at CalState Uni for three months back in 1996 and whilst there tried every different burger chain there was. 'In and Out' is, I was told, run by the L.A. mafia. Don't know if that's true or not but, boy oh boy, it was the best 'piece of meat between two buns' since I last had a soapy-tit wank.

  • May 16, 2005, 12:04 a.m. CST


    by freddie.sykes

    The US is set for a movie like this right now, and it will probably make a billion dollars, literally. Just like horror movies started doing well recently due to the current political and socioeconomic climate, so too will sci-fi, and it doesn't get much bigger or high profile than this. Everyone knows the story, everyone knows Senor Spielbergio, and for sure everyone knows Cruise.

  • May 17, 2005, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Teeth Of The Who Fucking Cares

    by Spaderfish

    Jaws my ass, get to the good shit

  • May 22, 2005, 6:49 p.m. CST


    by Concerned

    Why haven't any of you fucktards focused on this release? Instead you bring us this pablum starring lil Tommy Cruise. Pathetic.