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Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

... and it’s a big one.

Maybe a little too big. I called this meeting of the Jedi Council at the last minute, our final informal gathering of people from various camps of fandom, assembled to discuss all things STAR WARS. This took place a little over a week ago at a secret location in Burbank. Plush, comfortable, and large enough to accommodate a big group. I told Obi-Swan and Frosty Skywalker and the rest of the guys to cast a wide net, and over the course of about eight hours, they ended up putting over twenty people into a room together. Some old familiar faces. Some people who have never been to one of these before. Some people from inside the industry or even with ties to Lucasfilm, and some people who are simply fans. Everyone identified themselves for the tape, but there are cases where it was impossible to tell who said something when transcribing. Hats off to Obi-Swan and Andre Dellamorte, who really busted their asses sifting through that entire recording and making sense of it. I’ve gotten a ton of mail from people wanting one last Jedi Council, one that sort of sums up this last sweet moment of anticipation for fans, and which (as you’ll read) also sums up the rather bitter frustration that some people feel towards all things Lucas. You’ll read both optimism and extreme pessimism in this article, and you’ll read some spoilers. Like I said... this was over a week ago. No one in the room had seen the film yet, but screenings had already started. The TIME review wasn’t out yet. This is three separate articles, so follow the link at the bottom of each page to read the whole thing.

I saw the film Thursday, but Harry should be the first one of us to write about it. I wanted to take a few days to reflect before I react to a film I’ve waited 28 years to see. I’m filled with all sorts of conflicting emotion tonight. Right now, I want to just post this conversation, since so many of you are still hovering, totally awash in all the spoilers that are out there, ready to see the film for yourselves, just like we were as we sat down and I looked around at the intimidating group that was assembled:


Obi Swan


Sarah S (one of the primary figures in the whole “Lined Up In Front Of The Wrong Theater” story that the media has had soooooo much fun with for the last few weeks)




Andre Dellamorte

Mr. Beaks

Sarah (who wanted it made quite clear that she is NOT the one who stands in line)

Dr. Hfuhruhurr


Tom Joad

Darth Benedict XVI

Windy Starkiller


The Hellboy


Andre Dellamorte: We could have turned on Turkish Star Wars.

Obi Swan: I know. If I had brought it. I’m sorry, I didn’t bring Turkish Star Wars.

Moriarty: There’s no easy way to get into this, so I guess we’ll start by just generally talking. At this point all the spoilers are pretty much out there, the books are out there, the art of books, the making of books, lots of behind the scenes footage, images leaking pretty much every day, and the soundtrack is out. I’m curious what everyone’s anticipation is at this point and how spoiler soaked you are or aren’t at this point.

Dave: Just TV spots and trailers at this point. I haven’t been reading the scripts, or anything.

Moriarty: You haven’t picked up the book, or looked at the comic book?

Dave: Haven’t done it yet.

Moriarty: And are you going to before the film comes out?

Dave: Probably not. I’ll probably pick everything up after the movie comes out. But for right now, nothing else.

Moriarty: What’s your anticipation at this point? What do you think the movie looks like?

Dave: It’s hard because I’ve been waiting for it since I was six, so I pretty much have most of the movie mapped out in my mind. But I’m really looking forward to that duel at the end… unabashedly so, even more than I’m willing to admit.

Moriarty: Obi-Swan, you’re pretty excited. Are you buying the toothpaste?

Obi Swan: I actually heard that the duel is kinda weak (laughs)... somebody told me that, they said “it’s not that good.” But actually you know what? It’s going to get here. In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t even seen the trailers, but then I read the comic, then I read the script, (laughs) then I listened to the soundtrack, and if you showed me the movie right now, I’d probably watch it even if it was on VHS panned and scanned. I dunno… I’m just trying not to think about it.

Moriarty: Anyone seeing it before release?

(Five hands raised)

Moriarty: How many are going to a Midnight show?

(more hands raised)

Obi Swan: And how many people are seeing it the day after as well?


Sarah S: And the day after.

Mr. Beaks: Well, that’s the day Paul Schrader’s EXORCIST opens, so I’m going to have to go see that.

Moriarty: There you go. So... who’s super spoiler soaked? Who’s pretty much seen and heard everything?

The Hellboy: All of it.

Moriarty: And?

The Hellboy: Well, [Andre] Dellamorte and I have had a lot of conversations about this. I was hopeful, not so much now.

Dave: Certain things are being explored in there that leave me a little disappointed. A little disappointed.

Andre Dellamorte: I went into ATTACK OF THE CLONES pretty much spoiler-free, and I hated that film so much when I saw it… (evil cackles at Obi-Swan’s expense) I was so pissed off, I was like, “I wasn’t a big fan of Phantom Menace, but this is worse,” and it was just pain for two hours and twenty minutes. I hated it, I hated it. I decided, “Okay, I’m just going to read everything on this one.” And I have, I saw the German footage with General Grevious walking, I read the comic book, I read the screenplay, and I hear that’s chopped up…

Moriarty: It’s funny... I haven’t seen Grevious at all. I couldn’t get the German clip to work, and I think all day long, that site got hammered by people trying to get it, and there was this piece of footage that leaked that had a big chunk from the opening of the movie in it. I haven’t seen it, I haven’t seen Grevious in motion, and I hear some people hate it. Some people really don’t like the execution of the character.

Mr. Beaks: Wait a minute… an extreme belief in regard to a Star Wars film? There’s no middle ground? (laughs)

Moriarty: That character already seems to be driving people berserk.

Obi Swan: Didn’t somebody compare him to Jar Jar?

Moriarty: Yeah.

Andre Dellamorte: Based on ten seconds of footage?

Moriarty: That’s even from some of the exhibition showings I’m hearing that.

?: It’s the overall execution in the film.

Moriarty: I love the design. I think he’s a cool character looking at him. One of the only figures I have… actually I think I have two things so far, are the Unleashed Duel Figures, and the Unleashed Grevious figure.

Flmlvr: Grevious is a cool design; it’s a neat looking thing. But is it like Darth Maul; is it in five minutes of the movie?

Andre Dellamorte: I was just going to finish saying... I don’t like anything that I’ve seen so far. I’m not looking forward to it, but I think my expectations are lowered to the point that I will be able to enjoy it as eye candy. And I saw a little bit of the space battle and thought, “Okay, this is what we’ve been waiting for.” (in his best Bill Murray) So I got that going for me…

Obi Swan: … which is nice.

Sarah S: I will say something from the apologist camp. I didn’t watch the clip, I saw two second between my fingers because I didn’t want to watch, but I played it with my Star Wars friends.

Moriarty: (pointedly) And who, by the way, are your Star Wars friends?

Sarah: From the Star Wars Grauman’s Chinese Theater line. And a near riot broke out of happiness, I mean people were going absolutely crazy, gleefully dancing in the street happy with it. That’s just the other camp.

Andre Dellamorte: Excited about what?

Sarah S: Grevious. They thought that the German footage was amazing, that swoop down… they just love it. You know how nerds are, they can’t say “badass” enough times.

Andre Dellamorte: I’ve got nothing against Grevious so far. He’s doing the coughing thing.

?: He’s a robot who coughs, right; you see that in motion, man.

Windy Starkiller: The one thing that I looked at that I was impressed with was if it executes the way the camera moves in that shot, you can only do that shot with a CGI character. You could never do that realistically before. They’ve never done that before, with all the characters in the room? The shot alone is like nothing I’ve ever seen in a Star Wars movie. And I’ve heard there’s more camera movement like that.

Andre Dellamorte: There’s that trailer shot of Yoda getting hit with the lightning, and it’s sorta more like a Raimi shot than something you’d see in a STAR WARS movie.

Windy Starkiller: He’s definitely upped the ante on this, so he’s going places he’s not gone before, I think he’s stepping up.

Obi Swan: Didn’t somebody say that there’s a lot more of the shots, like EPISODE II, that looks like real war footage, where there’s those zooms.

Flmlvr: Like SAVING PRIVATE RYAN stuff?

Obi Swan: Yeah

Darth Benedict XVI: Didn’t some of that start in FIREFLY, and it’s become the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA cliché?

Mr. Beaks: Once I gave up on Tom Stoppard writing it, and faced the harsh reality of Lucas writing it… again, it’s one of those movies where I go hoping to love it, as I do any movie, I don’t like sitting in a theater for two hours and not having a good time, and I have to be honest… the first time I saw ATTACK OF THE CLONES, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed it for it what it was. I had no expectations as I didn’t like THE PHANTOM MENACE all that much, but it was eye candy, there was some great battles, they had the lightsaber battle at the end, and it didn’t bother me that much. It was only on repeat viewings. I shouldn’t have watched it again, and I definitely should not have watched it four times, and that fourth time should not have been on IMAX. But I will say this about that cut… they did cut out a lot of the Anakin-Padme scenes.

Moriarty: I heard that digital houses will have a different cut than what’s shipping on film. So there’s a difference in the two cuts in the theaters already.

The Hellboy: This guy loves tweaking until the last minute.

Moriarty: The film prints are struck, what, two weeks before the digital prints, before you have to deliver?

The Hellboy: Yeah.

Darth Benedict XVI: I think he did that with ATTACK OF THE CLONES.

The Hellboy: I think it’s dangerous to the film, I think that’s some of the problems with them.

Moriarty: I’m going to see it at a digital house, because I’m curious to see the last version of the film before they wrenched it from him, only because there’ll be a different version on DVD, so I’m curious to see what this one looks like.

Mr. Beaks: That’s the version Lucas would want you to watch, and the quality will be optimal.

Windy Starkiller: There’s a rumor that Lucas gone back and has completely redone EPISODE I Yoda digitally.

Darth Benedict XVI: That EPISODE I puppet is definitely coming out.

Moriarty: I hope so.

Obi Swan: It’s inevitable, and yeah, I don’t really like the puppet from EPISODE I, but it’ll be a shame to see it go, because it’ll be Frank Oz’s last performance with a real puppet.

Windy Starkiller: But what would you rather have?

[SPEAKER UNKNOWN]: As long as they don’t go back to EMPIRE.

Moriarty: Please... please don’t go fix EMPIRE, please don’t fix Yoda. He gives the greatest performance in the entire trilogy.

Mr. Beaks: Go make your independent films.

Moriarty: He gives the best performance in the first three films, it’s awesome. Please… please don’t touch that.

Obi Swan: George, EMPIRE is broken. Fix it. [Huge laugh from the room.]

Moriarty: And he’ll only listen to one of us, and it won’t be me, so that’s the scary thing. Okay… there’s an article here that Frosty Skywalker brought that just ran on Jim Hill’s the Disney guy, and gets tons of information about the films and the theme parks and what’s in development. And he ran an article about the 20th anniversary of Star Tours, about how they’re talking about doing a brand new digital update for it. It says that the entire thing started back with PHANTOM MENACE, when he showed them the pod race, specifically hoping to make a ride out of it, and they just didn’t take the bait then.

Jed: There have been rumors about Star Tours reupping and remaking for a decade now, rumors that have been circulating in Orange County and Anaheim, and it’s not happening.

Frosty: Well, now that digital filmmaking keeps getting cheaper, and they’re doing the TV show, which might be on ABC, so there’s that synergy there. But I had heard the animated stuff, the Clone Wars stuff, I hear that’s dead, it’s all over and it’s all going to be a live action show.

The Hellboy: Thank god.

Moriarty: In the new WIRED, the one with Lucas on the cover, he says specifically there will be two shows.

Frosty: I could be wrong about the whole animated thing, but I guess someone different will be working on it besides Genndy Tartakovsky.

Moriarty: But he’s saying that it will be Clones Wars style… it’ll be that type of animation style that will continue, and it’ll be a two pronged attack on TV for a while.

Darth Benedict XVI: There’s a new animation division of Lucasfilm that just opened up in Singapore, so I think it’ll be taken in house.

Moriarty: Well, maybe Cartoon Network should handle all the style design, cause that worked well with the fans, and I think people would want that to be what the animated style would look like. I bet they’ll mimic the look very hard.

The Hellboy: I hope not.

Moriarty: Really, you wouldn’t want that at all?

The Hellboy: I hate that show, especially the second season. I hated it. You’ve got Jedi warriors that can wipe entire armies…

Tom Joad: Why didn’t they do that in ATTACK OF THE CLONES?

Hellboy: Exactly. I can’t stand it.

Sarah: Again, it really goes back to the idea that The Cartoon Network is a kid’s network, outside of the Adult Swim hour. Some cartoons were not meant for us. So that’s how kids would imagine what a Jedi can do.

Obi Swan: Where was that kid in 1977?

Jed: To answer that question, Yoda and Mace Windu kick a lot more ass in The Clone Wars Cartoon ‘cause I think Genndy has a much better idea of how to show Jedi kicking ass than some people. And, yeah, the scale in the Clone Wars Cartoon is not what we’re used to seeing, but that’s what I think of when I think of Jedi, not “barely moving this,” and “kind of moving that”… they’re knocking shit left and right, they’re knocking planets out of alignment.

The Hellboy: Eh, it contradicts the films, so it’s not my thing.

Moriarty: That’s interesting, because I thought the cartoons were fairly well received across the boards.

The Hellboy: I think they were.

Andre Dellamorte: But you bought Volume One of the Clones Wars on DVD anyway.

The Hellboy: Well, yeah, cause I’m stupid.

Andre Dellamorte: And you also bought the Ewoks set right?

(The Hellboy holds up hands and nods)

Sarah S: Oh my god, that Ken Wheat… Ken Wheat did the Ewok movies, he’s got the best sense of humor. When the Ewoks movies came out on DVD, he googled himself, and one of the things my Star Wars group did was go down to the Virgin Megastore and buy the DVD, and we met at the Hamburger Hamlet beforehand and in walks this guy, who’s kind of checking us out, and he says “Hey, are you the Star Wars group?” and we said yes, and he said “I’m Ken Wheat, I made the DVD, I just wanted to see who my fans were.” It was a riot. He’s a very generous and nice man. And then we went down to the Virgin Megastore, and they only had one copy and put it out early.

Andre Dellamorte: Well, maybe the other copies were already sold.

Grand Moff Lebowski: So, there’s this website put up by a fan who’s gone in and scrounged every deleted scene outtake, alternate angle, behind the scenes footage, and he’s reconstructed a comprehensive longer version or alternate version of Star Wars starting with the very beginning legend from Journal of the Whills, going in to the Alternate Long Time ago in a Galaxy far far away, to the original Star Wars that originally said The Star Wars with the original opening crawl. It’s radically different across the board into such detail as the deleted scene when Luke is wearing the Gilligan hat and the binocs, looking at the battle above Tatoonie. There was no sound for that original outtake, it was all black and white scratchy workprint, and he took the sound from the radio show and very strategically edited in Mark Hamill’s voice to give it sound. It’s just amazing, he went through the entire film and plugged in all this deleted footage, and it’s just Star Wars, though there’s a little bit of Empire and Jedi footage, and it’s up now on the web, and probably gone by the time this posts.

Moriarty: I guess there’s a fair question there, which is if he’s not going to do anything with this stuff any time soon, should he get too terribly upset with a fan who does it with the sole intent of other fans being able to look at it?

Tom Joad: Any fan would replace this copy with the real thing when it gets out there. I don’t think it’s inhibiting sales of anything.

Obi Swan: You don’t think Lucas has ever lost a dollar.

Tom Joad: I find it hard to discount this sort of thing.

Grand Moff Lebowski: And soon it’ll be at conventions sold as a bootleg.

Windy Starkiller: And hey, TROOPS. TROOPS was awesome.

Moriarty: Well, I guess that’s the crossing over into actually being allowed to play with Star Wars that is the ultimate goal of these people. I’m really curious to see what he does with the TV show. Doing it post-episode six, that’s actually something I’m interested in, but who’s he going to cast? Which characters are going to reappear? All of those things matter if I’m going to tune in, and I haven’t heard anything conclusive.

Mr. Beaks: So we don’t know writers?

Herc: Writers are very important to TV.

Moriarty: There’s two big rumors. One is the Kevin Smith rumor, which I’ve heard just as many people discounting it, is that he’d be running the live action version.

Herc: Let me go on record here: I believe the Kevin Smith rumor is total bullshit.

Moriarty: That would discount that. The other not necessarily credible rumor I’ve heard several times is that it’d be J. Michael Straczynski, who did BABYLON 5, the creator of that. So, would he even want to hand anything over to anybody who’d have that strong a signature on TV, or do you imagine it’ll be someone you never heard of?

Herc: I think he’d want someone very controlled and very weak, I don’t see anyone as strong as JMS.

Andre Dellamorte: Maybe it’s the Jonathan Hales pay off for working on the scripts?

Herc: I think what Andre said is exactly right, or that much more right.

Moriarty: That’s what Herc was saying the other night, he was saying “Jonathan Hales! Jonathan Hales!”

Herc: I said it once. But I think he’ll use people from the INDIANA JONES show, people who really aren’t that powerful in business and do exactly what George Lucas tells them.

Moriarty: A lot of the YOUNG INDY guys went on to be Frank Darabont, Jonathan Hensleigh…

Herc: Wouldn’t it be nice to bring Frank back? But it’ll probably be someone besides Frank.

Moriarty: At that point, those guys had maybe a credit or two. It’s exactly the case, whoever comes to work on this show… it’s like the art department on this film. Anybody pick up the “art of” book yet?

Darth Benedict XVI: Own, but don’t open.

Moriarty: It’s pretty awesome, and I gotta say I love the design work on this thing. All of these guys also contributed to that STAR WARS VISIONARIES book, and it seems like they got to try anything they thought of. There were a lot of great ideas thrown out, and some of it stuck and some of it didn’t. It does look like fans worked on this film. It looks like they loved the source material, and if nothing else, they got a lot of ideas in the movie. Lucas didn’t come to the table with everything. Most of the art department’s work was done before the script was written. He put their stuff up, looked at it, and then imagined the movie. In a way, isn’t that at least promising, that some of that stuff is guys who really love Star Wars trying to get this into the movie?

Mr. Beaks: Well sure, but the thing is all the art and the books are not my caveat. It’s all about the writing. Going back to what I was thinking… does Pixar have an in-house writing program? I assume they do.

Moriarty: Pixar has an in-house everything program. That place is spooky in its efficiency.

Mr. Beaks: Well, maybe he should cherry pick some writers out of there. Maybe get a bit of familial help.

Andre Dellamorte: It’s a little late for that.

Mr. Beaks: I meant for the TV show. Let those guys become the next Darabonts.

Moriarty: I think that’s what he’s looking for. And hopefully he’ll take it seriously enough. He keeps saying he going to be hands-off, he keeps saying “I don’t want anything to do with it,” he keeps promising his weird experimental films. The WIRED interview is a lot of the same stuff we’ve heard, and him now putting names to a couple of things. He promising to do RED TAILS again, he says he’ll produce it at the very least, he keeps talking about INDIANA JONES. How many people think there’ll actually be an INDY IV?

Mr. Beaks: I doubt it.

Herc: I don’t think it won’t happen.

Moriarty: I don’t think it’ll happen at this point. The moment came and went.

Bryan: Well, with the regime change at Paramount, though, I think that’s a signifying element that there are now people at Paramount willing to do something.

Moriarty: I don’t think it was Paramount who stopped it in the first place.

Bryan: Well, I think there was definitely some stopping there on the part of Sherri Lansing and some of the people under her going, “This is too expensive, this is not what we need to make,” and now that Brad Grey’s there, “We need to bring the twenty something back, we need to get the fans back.” I think there’s some love there for it.

The Hellboy: Paramount has no say. They take it, just like Fox with these things. There’s a deal, they just distribute it.

Moriarty: It was Lucas. Lucas sabotaged it, and there was a moment where everybody else was ready to go.

Bryan: I keep getting hints that this is moving forward. I keep hearing casting sheets going out to people to fill roles, so there’s a script out there, or something resembling a script…

Moriarty: Well, Nathanson’s doing a rewrite or did one.

Bryan: They dumped so much money and so much time into this that they’re pushing forward.

Moriarty: That’s their problem.

Mr. Beaks: I hear he’s finished.

Moriarty: Is he?

Mr. Beaks: I heard Jeff Nathanson is finished.

Dr. Hfuhruhurr: Anybody hear anything about Shymalan’s draft?

Herc: Believe it or not, I interviewed him and asked him that very question. He said he never did a draft.

Moriarty: That’s what I heard... that he got close, flirted with a deal, couldn’t make his deal, didn’t do the film.

Flmlvr: Why did Lucas sabotage it?

Moriarty: I think it was a genuine creative difference of opinion. He wanted one film, and everyone else wanted a different film. And at this point, Harrison Ford is never going to play Indy again. At least I’d count on that.

Andre Dellamorte: How old is he? 62? He’s too old.

Mr. Beaks: Oh, he can’t do Indy any more, even as an old man. The glint is gone. There are old men like Scott Glenn, who can still do it, but he’s lost it.

Sarah (Not the one who stands in line): Oh, he can do it.

Mr. Beaks: I know he could do it, but I don’t want to see him do it. It’s demoralizing.

Herc: Harrison’s now older than Connery was when he played his dad.

Moriarty: And at this point, Connery has graduated into a full-blown coot.

Mr. Beaks: And that’s the movie.

Moriarty: Instead of making movies these days, Sean makes headlines for beating up his neighbor and stuff. Sean’s awesome.

Mr. Beaks: It’s GRUMPY OLD MEN with a bullwhip.

Darth Benedict XVI: What makes me think there’s some lingering interest in this series is that Lucas doesn’t see it as a trilogy. Lucas sees that trilogy as the middle of the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. And he wants something at the end to tie up this entire body of work.

Herc: I’ve got an idea. Here’s what you do with Harrison Ford. You do what Richard Donner did with MAVERICK. You get Harrison Ford to play the James Garner role, and then there’s little Indy, who does all the action.

Andre Dellamorte: “Dad!”

[SPEAKER UNKNOWN]: They could get Jake Lloyd.

Moriarty: Did you guys see the big Jake Lloyd “Please let me work, I swear I’m not bitter” interview? I think it was quite telling when MTV posted it, they had his name spelled wrong, both in the headline and in the URL.

Herc: Did Mark Hamill console him?

Moriarty: No one could never spell Hamill either.

Sarah S: I would like to apologize to both of my very kind donators to my charity auction: Jake Lloyd, you’re great for donating. And I went to Mark Hamill’s house to get him to sign stuff. I sat on his couch…

Herc: Did you leave a stain, Sarah?


Darth Benedict XVI: Did anyone find out what was the Holy Grail for the new movie?

The Hellboy: Roswell. 1950’s. Sci-fi. Definitely.

Moriarty: I think the verification of that came from the release of the DVD set and an incident that happened around then. The implication around the time was that they were going to put a teaser trailer on the box set that got kiboshed at the last minute. It was supposed to happen, they designed it, they shot it, and it was saucers in the 50’s and nodded to what it was to be. And I guess the powers that be said it was too much information, and they didn’t want to put it out there yet, so…

Obi Swan: It would have been like that early teaser for TEMPLE OF DOOM, which was always cool.

Moriarty: Based on how long it’s been sitting around, it might be like that ALIEN 3 teaser they put out, where they promise one movie and then you went and saw it, and you were like “Hey, bitch, you promised us Earth!”

Darth Benedict XVI: Back on topic, I think the interesting thing about the VANITY FAIR cover was that everybody was so carefully arranged, that you had EPISODE III on the cover, and then you opened and had two, and then you had one, and then you had everyone from the four through six movies, and it was exactly like a Japanese book cover. Hamill’s not too old to be a part of the TV series.

Moriarty: I would like to see him show up from time to time at the beginning of an episode, just to introduce an episode.

Obi-Swan: You know what’s really cool. If Mark Hamill is in the series sometimes recurring as Luke Skywalker, you know there’s gonna come an episode, second season, third season, where Mark Hamill’s on the show, Harrison Ford’s on the show, Carrie Fisher’s on the show, and George Lucas is directing. Now, if that happens, get the Pampers ready for me.


Sarah S: I just want to go back to that VANITY FAIR cover really quickly. I don’t know why they didn’t digitally drop in Alec Guiness. They should have dropped him in, and funnily enough Ray Park and Temura Morrison were supposed to be on the cover, and last second (snaps fingers) they were told not to come.


Readers Talkback
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  • May 7, 2005, 4:20 a.m. CST

    fourth minus first

    by iamnicksaicnsn

    Yeah, I'm trying to assume it's terrible, because I feel like it's never going to be as good as I want it to be... is there really anyway he can return from his original glory?

  • May 7, 2005, 4:24 a.m. CST

    I read the whole article before posting.

    by Shan

    So I should get some sort of medal, right? Anyway, I'll be off to see this film regardless of the reviews. It's one of those films which is an obligation ... no a duty to go and see. So, I hope it pays off this time.

  • May 7, 2005, 4:49 a.m. CST

    Jake Lloyd

    by AeroB

    Okay, freaking long council but rightly so, still, not going to read the rest until later, just read the first page. Anyway, on topic: Jake Lloyd. I feel sorry for this guy. I really think he might be a good actor, or at least decent, same thing with Hayden Christensen. But this is George Lucas directing; he got a mediocre performance out of LIAM NEESON for crying out loud. And we all know people like Ewan Mcgregor, Samuel L. Jackson are fine actors... hell Natalie Portman has done a good job in some past films. And they all put out brittle, unbelievable performances in these prequels. Now there are the unknowns Lucas cast in these films, the two Anakins... and these guys play THE critical character to this trilogy, which just makes them look worse to botch it. But I don't think we can sit here and shit all over them for it, because seriously. It's Lucas. I for one hope they get a chance to prove themselves with a competent director at the helm. Or else they are doomed to Hamill's fate (Lloyd especially)...

  • May 7, 2005, 4:58 a.m. CST

    Best Jedi Council since inception, and Edgar Wright: the worst S

    by LordEnigma

    Thanks for going out on top. At least there were some great points made. Good show all around. However, the reason the Trade Federation were blocking The Nubians make great shoes. Never thought much about the whole blockade, but like most real life trade blockades. They do not make much sense at all. On to Edgar Wright, one wanky bastard. Let me get this straight. The guy who has personally written and or directed some of the clunkiest action and dialogue ever put to FILM or TV, enjoys slaggin Lucas? Yeah Edgar. You are such a talent. I hope those execs are not blowing that much smoke up your ass. Go back to your bloody island, and try to write something original. You know, not based off of the ideas of, or homages to, people's work. Bloody wanker.

  • May 7, 2005, 5:17 a.m. CST

    Nice council.

    by L.H.Puttgrass

    I have my midnight ticket and I'm waiting and hoping that they get it right.

  • May 7, 2005, 5:50 a.m. CST

    Before All The Numpty's......

    by Ra Ra Rasputin

    Start whingin about us I would like to say that i would watch this if it was in black and white and upside down, so before no end of nob head starts chippin in please be aware that I listen to each complaint and judgement made about star wars with an open mind oh no thats wrong sorry I meant to say BOLLOCKS TO THE LOT OF YOU...GO SPIT.

  • May 7, 2005, 6:17 a.m. CST

    There's a Lego Star Wars video game. If that funny or what? ("

    by FrankDrebin

  • May 7, 2005, 6:37 a.m. CST

    I prefer the Turkish Exorcist.

    by SalvatoreGravano

    BANA YARIM EDIN, TUGRUL! Or the Turkish E.T. They are both scene-by-scene copies, while the Turkish Star Wars (like the Turkish Spiderman and the Turkish Star Trek) just steals music, footage and some concepts, not the whole plot of the original. Besides, the Turkish Pazuzu is made of condom rubber and the Turkish E.T. watches Earth porn and wanks to it - they could easily outmatch the originals' critters. It would be nice to see the Turkish Star Wars Prequels, or the Turkish Lord of the Rings. Oh, and Jake what? What is it? Is that the thing that made Jar-Jar Binks seem like a great part of Phantom Menace, and Wooden Christensen like an almost half-actor? It's the first time I hear of Shyalahack's possible involvement in the films... oh dear. That makes the Kevin Smith participation look like a good idea. Thank heavens this imbecile was kicked off - after all, there are only so many Twilight Zone episodes he could steal from, and not too many have material adaptable for Star Wars.

  • May 7, 2005, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Yet another SW dvd box set on the way. And yet poor George can'

    by FrankDrebin

  • May 7, 2005, 6:51 a.m. CST

    some worries I hope will be resolved with Ep III...

    by Blacklist

    1. Who are the separatists anyway? Do they become the Rebel Alliance after realizing the charismatic Count Dooku had been funneling their resources to support Sideous while preventing a legit uprising from beginning? I had heard that the Separatists consisted completely of Dooku, the Federation, Banking Clan, Commerce Guilds, etc. What about entire systems of regular folk who are dissatisfied with the Republic? It seemed like a good idea to me to allow the separatists to become the Rebel Alliance after Dooku is destroyed. 2. Obi-Wan allegedly says something to the effect of "Jedi don't deal in absolutes" in Ep III. I know Lucas is supposedly getting more political with this episode. So is Obi-Wan acting as Lucas' mouthpiece here re: the current times? I may be a nut here, but it seems like the worst thing you could do to jerk people out of the long time ago in the galaxy far away to do commentary on 21st century American politics. No absolutes? What about the Light side? Dark side? GRATUITOUSNESS ALERT: Is the Light side more powerful than the Nuanced Side? If the Jedi Councel doesn't deal in absolutes, why are they such strict constructionists when it comes to that damn archaic Jedi Code? Jedi aren't allowed to love? WTF? END GRATUITOUSNESS ALERT. It seems to me that the Council could've averted this whole Anakin fiasco by just really paying attention to Qui-Gon, who had a fresh way of looking at the Jedi lifestyle. Of course, my fears could be completely unfounded if it turns out Obi-Wan is SUPPOSED to be wrong about his 'absolutes' comment. Maybe just a last ditch, and slightly unhinged, effort to set Anakin straight. "You will return to the Light side or I will Destroy You!!" Addendum: let's see if this can be discussed without the flaming. Injecting (modern-day) politics into Star Wars is like putting cyanide on your Saturday morning cereal.

  • May 7, 2005, 7 a.m. CST

    Sarah S (to Herc): "Tough talk from a man who

    by Triumph poops!

    I say we all raise our hands in a toast to Sarah and buy her a few rounds for the all-time BEST toe-to-toe "don't fuck with me" comeback line in the entire history of these Jedi Councils. Nice work, Sarah, for proving once again that Jedis don't take shit from anyone!

  • May 7, 2005, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Sarah S. is my hero

    by Razorback

    Way to kick some retard ass. By the way, this was the stupidest Jedi Council yet. Mostly a complete waste of time.

  • May 7, 2005, 7:49 a.m. CST

    It was funny, but it was also stupid

    by AeroB

    Because whether you like Whedon's stuff or not, you have to admit it it's better than TPM and AotC. George Lucas is probably the worst financially successful director in the history of filmmaking, and his writing sucks donkey balls too. Now Whedon may or may not be the amazing writer/director his fans purport him to be, but using the admiration of his work against somebody when you like Lucas' dreck is the height of hypocrisy. Still, I guess Herc deserved it after that comment

  • I Saw: STARWARS: EPISODE III *** LUCAS REDEMES HIMSELF!!! Movie Review (Don't worry, I will warn ahead of time before talking about spoilers): I SAW THE PRESS SCREENING OF STARWARS: EPISODE III, REVENGE OF THE SITH!!! LUCAS REDEMES HIMSELF!!! Where do I begin? Tears, yes, tears! I was balling my eyes out and so was everyone else in the theater, that is how freaking emotional this film was. Lucas nailed it!!! The security was insane!!! The movie, better than I ever expected! I had many problems with the first two episodes, but this 3rd one was breathtaking! I will give a review in a moment, again, Don't worry, I will warn ahead of time before talking about spoilers. So I bet you're wondering: "How the hell did this guy get into the world premiere press screening of Star Wars III?" So I am, lol. My friend calls me out of nowhere and leaves me the following voice message: "Dude, don't ask questions, don't check your email, get your jacket & just get out NOW, You have 5 minutes to get to the Zeigfeld theater (One of the largest and oldest in N.Y.) and I will get you into Star Wars III!" Me: "What the Fu$%!"

  • May 7, 2005, 8:17 a.m. CST

    What's the story with Jake Lloyd?

    by Trevor Goodchild

    Don't know anything about him since TPM. Why is he bitter?

  • May 7, 2005, 8:20 a.m. CST

    To all you Star Wars lovers

    by Sicuv Uyall

    What's up with Lucas. Everytime I see him on TV, he looks more like a damn bullfrog, with his throat expanding everytime he talks. It's time to take a trip to Thyroidia, and remove the problem, lightspeed. Lick it bitch.

  • May 7, 2005, 8:44 a.m. CST

    "Because whether you like Whedon's stuff or not, you have to adm

    by Triumph poops!

    Actually, NO, no one has to admit that simply because the very idea of comparing the class and artistry of TPM and AOTC to instantly forgettable low-end TV crap like BUFFY or ANGEL is laughable to begin with. The only ones who think Whedon is a better filmmaker than Lucas are drooling nutjobs with bottom of the barrel taste, but then again that is the police profile of diehard Whedonite ass-lickers, so...

  • May 7, 2005, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Class and artistry of TPM and AOTC

    by Sicuv Uyall

    Class and artistry... class and artistry... class and artistry of The Phantom Menace and Attack Of The Clones. Something doesn't sound right. One of you guys gotta be sucking Lucas's dick, huh. Or are you still camped out in line waiting for opening day? Log on to, assboy.

  • May 7, 2005, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Spielberg's fault

    by Sicuv Uyall

    Good things he's responsible for: Saving Private Ryan, Minority Report, E.T. Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jaws. BUT shit he's also responsible for: 1941, Hook, Temple of Doom, The Lost World, Lucas directing the latest Star Warses.

  • May 7, 2005, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Dennis Quaid should be the next Indiana Jones

    by Valorific

    He would be perfect as Indy.

  • May 7, 2005, 9:35 a.m. CST

    "the very idea of comparing the class and artistry of TPM and AO

    by Voice O. Reason

    Congratulations on not just having really, really bad taste, but also on being arrogant enough to think your opinion so valid that you'd use a word like "laughable" to reinforce its highly questionable validity.

  • May 7, 2005, 9:55 a.m. CST

    God what a bunch of clueless choads..

    by I Dunno

    The Clone Wars cartoon depictin Jedi better than the films? So Yoda throwing starships around and Mace taking out hundreds of droids with the Force is more realistic? Digitally inserting a dead Alec Guinness into the Vanity Fair thing? How do these people deserve a web site? And what was so horrible about AOTC? The acting and dialogue? Maybe. but the Corucsant chase, the Jango/Obi Wan fight, the asteroid chase, the Geonosis battle, Ian McDiarmid's acting and his character's Machiavelian rise to power, doesn't any of that deserve at least 2 stars?

  • May 7, 2005, 10:13 a.m. CST

    Doesn't any of that deserve at least 2 stars?

    by Negator76

    Uh... No.

  • May 7, 2005, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Council!

    by InZodWeTrust

    I have been waiting for this last meeting. I hope we all enjoy it as much as the rest of the reviewers have.

  • May 7, 2005, 11:03 a.m. CST

    "Class and artistry"

    by AeroB

    Ahahahaha. Even Lucas is laughing at you, all the way back to the bank. As for "low-end TV crap", if you think budget is the sole definer of artistry, then you're already a lost cause, and of course you'll drool over big budget lifeless garbage like the Star Wars prequels. I don't care whether you like Whedon's stuff or not, but to ascribe to the new Star Wars films "class and artistry" only serves to show how godawful your taste is and how little you understand of filmmaking and storytelling as arts.

  • That being said... fuck you, Valorific- Dennis would NOT make a good Indy. It will never happen.

  • May 7, 2005, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Cult of Whedon Aside, BUFFY and ANGEL Are Both Fantastic

    by ZombieSolutions

    i don't subscribe to the cult of Whedon (*cough* Alien Regurgitation, *cough* Firefly), but the BUFFYVERSE is rock solid and smart genre entertainment that EASILY blows away both TPM and AOTC. easily. i also don't think it's hyperbole to say that BUFFY and ANGEL were two of the best genre tv shows ever made. i'd put 'em right up there with the THE PRISONER and TWIN PEAKS. TPM and AOTC i'd put down somewhere between HOWARD THE DUCK and THE FIFTH ELEMENT. in other words, mostly shit (the Howard the Duck elements), with some moments approaching quality (The Fifth Element elements -- a decent, fun sci-fi movie). ROTS is looking like it may be good, and i hope it is, but NOTHING can save TPM and AOTC. the first is nearly unwatchable and the second is okay at best.

  • May 7, 2005, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Mark Hamill's role for the new series is:

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    According to a close friend of mine at Fox (and with ties to Lucasfilm)... Mark Hamill's role for this new series is: Narrator The show will only be produced on Lucas' own terms. He wants the show to be on Fox (because he believes that the rest of the Star Trek series would have done better if it hadn't been on an obscure network like UPN). However, he wants Fox to help underwrite some of the cost. Many at Fox believe that this show could be first rate -- and restore the genre of Sci Fi while at the same time consistantly giving Fox another top 10 show each week (other than the 2 American Idol shows). The idea for the television series is that an older Luke Skywalker (a.k.a. Mark Hamill) will be researching, writing and/or telling the history of the Jedi (as the new and only Jedi Master) for a new generation of Jedi padawans. He will be detailing the "apocryphal" tales between Episode 3 and Episode 4 -- and how the last remaing Jedi survived and eventually died throughout the Galaxy following the rise of Vader. Luke will be portrayed as a wise old Jedi Master. They will go all out on this story -- complete with great special effects. This is the reason Lucasfilm will shoot the entire season at once, rather than on an episode by episode basis. The bulk of Hamill's role is supposed to be filmed in a space of less than two weeks, with the majority of it as a voice over (ala Wonder Years). Some of the tentative titles include: "Tales of the Jedi" and "Tales of the Dark Side." The idea is that the show will open with a running scroll explaining the entire series. Lucas wants to make the series nearly "movie quality." Performance wise, this shouldn't be too difficult. :P But the hope is that the story and effects are going to push the limit for television as much as the original Star Wars did for the big screen. One can only cross their fingers...

  • May 7, 2005, 11:53 a.m. CST

    If What You Say Is True. This Series Has Promise...

    by ZombieSolutions

    that is, if Captain Neckfat, aka the Flanneled Reaper, aka, Lucas stays as FAR AWAY FROM IT AS POSSIBLE. all he has to do is give the green light and sign the checks. then he can get to those "avant garde films" he's been having such a hard time making. (yeah, it must be the obstacles that obscene wealth and total creative freedom have thrown before him.)

  • May 7, 2005, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Would someone please point out...

    by Jar Jar 4 Prez

    a Joss Whedon fan that isn't a complete retard? I certainly have never met one. I can't wait for him to destroy Wonder Woman. 90210 with vampires SUCKS, Star Wars RULES your clueless worlds forever.

  • May 7, 2005, 12:27 p.m. CST


    by bubcus

    Well... having Mark Hamill as a voice over is all right. I HAD hoped to see him as a Jedi Master and return to the post OT series with cameos of Han, Leia, Lando, and Chewie to see what all became of them... BUT, IF IT IS A STORYTELLING series as suggested (looking back between Eps 3 and 4) that should be okay. I look forward to that.

  • May 7, 2005, 1:03 p.m. CST

    the Corucsant chase

    by Right Bastard

    What are you talking about? That was bloody awful! "Anakin, how many times..." That is the scene that showed that there was absolutely no chemistry between those two actors. I don't think I've seen a performances that forced since Tim Robbins and Gary Sinise acting at gun point in "Mission to Mars" (one of the worst movie ever made). AOTC does have some bight moments later on, but some of it (like the half-arsed love story and OB1 going to a friggin' 50's diner for a milkshake) is hard to stomach.

  • May 7, 2005, 1:32 p.m. CST

    How can anybody hate AOTC? Okay the romance scenes I understand.

    by Orionsangels

    Everything else was good ol' popcorn fun. Relax, its SW not Citizen Kain

  • May 7, 2005, 1:38 p.m. CST

    by cyberskunk

    "Herc: Did you leave a stain, Sarah?" Geez.

  • May 7, 2005, 1:49 p.m. CST

    I've seen it.

    by Mechakong

    Devoted a whole episode of my podcast to it. Contains, spoilers, bad language, and ample dork bashing. Enjoy!

  • May 7, 2005, 1:56 p.m. CST

    41st!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

    by jesuschrist

    Now correct me if I'm wrong, but if I get any better at this, I am required by international regulation to register for professional status, correct?

  • May 7, 2005, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Forget Indiana Jones, bring on Delaware McChoad

    by Lord Bullingdon

  • May 7, 2005, 3:32 p.m. CST

    You know what...

    by Sean38

    ...Dennis Quaid WOULD be perfect as Indy. I'd never thought of that.

  • ...if you look at Lucas' vows to make piles of different movies that have never come to fruition over time, and if it's true that the thing that's been stopping him this whole time is 'Star Wars' being in the back of his mind, then the man has a very, very, very severe case of OCD.

  • May 7, 2005, 3:59 p.m. CST

    i didn't mean that I hate AOTC

    by Right Bastard

    I just think some of it I'm very ambivalent about it. I think once it picks up steam, it's pretty good. I didn't really want an all out shoot 'em up action film (by way of Clone Wars), but since the dramatic scenes were so...meh...they drew away from the rest of the movie. I did enjoy it enough to get on DVD. Still, it's hard to match the OT on fantasy characters. A farm boy, a princess, a smuggler/pirate, a wizard, and a wookie. Compare that to a dry politician, a stalker kid (i NEED you), a nagging mentor, a stoned council (someone needs to tazer them), and a Gungen. No wonder some of us have trouble connecting with these newer films. After hearing Robin's review on Howard Stern, I'm starting to accidently get excited. Still, that retrocrush guy hated EpIII, and he usually has pretty good reviews (though, i didn't read it to stay spoiler free). If that rumor that they kill off Amadala-ding-dong is true, I'll be pissed. Leah remembers her mom, who died when she was young.

  • May 7, 2005, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Does anyone else think....

    by THX2000

    That Rick McCallum is a bloated sack of excrement riding on ole George's coattails? He's packed on at least 75lbs since EPI. Fat dumb and happy, much like the last 2 worthless films he's peddled. And Sith is no different - terrible acting, excessive effects and endless clich

  • May 7, 2005, 5:18 p.m. CST

    Some of you are crack smoking monkeys

    by Reverendz

    If NOTHING else, you must concede that the visuals in the prequels are fucking fantastic. The soundtracks: unparalleled, the sound effects and sound editing: genius. So if absolutely nothing else, to call the prequels junk is assinine. Even the most dissappointed and bitter hater must admit that these films are well put together and look and sound amazing. If you can't even admit that, than it is time to put down the Boba Fett doll and slowly step away from Star Wars for good.

  • May 7, 2005, 5:35 p.m. CST

    Okay, the audio side of it

    by AeroB

    Was good. But the visuals are NOT that great, mostly because Lucas is a crappy director who doesn't know how to frame a shot properly. And the problem with the VFX shots is twofold: a) As fantastically detailed as they are, they are just too busy to take in and a lot of time it takes away the focus from the frame. and b) A lot of the green screen stuff is pretty bad, it pulls you out of the film kind of bad. Problem is most of these movies are done on green screen. Sometimes it works well, other times it just looks bad. And like I said Lucas can't frame a shot which cripples them throughout the movie. But yes the sound editing and the music is amazing. However, the real meat of the movies--the story, the dialogue, the direction (and by extension the acting)... is just terrible.

  • May 7, 2005, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Has EVERY freaking fanboy jackoff in the galaxy seen this pictur

    by HanFiredFirst

    I'm yawning with rage and anticipation.

  • May 7, 2005, 5:46 p.m. CST


    by 81666

    No more of these unfunny jedi councils.

  • May 7, 2005, 5:46 p.m. CST

    "Does anyone else think that Rick McCallum"

    by Right Bastard

    Not as much as Steve Sansweet. There is no other way to describe that guy. He is "the ultimate douche".

  • May 7, 2005, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Harrison Ford

    by Damer1

    Will never be a part of any SW TV series. Get over it geeks.

  • May 7, 2005, 6:05 p.m. CST

    To Bouffant, hi Shrink, Orions Angels... a...holes

    by Sicuv Uyall

    No! The FX sucked! Why do the prequels have this gay little yellow haze over the whole atmosphere... like being stuck in Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory for 2 hours.... holla if u know what i'm talking about!Technically, the sound was excellent.. but that's like putting a cherry on a pile of SHIT! Technologically, these movies are so far ahead, it's just too bad that's not just what it takes to make a good movie. Fanboys are gay. Hey the pod race was sort of cool, but I was still dozing off. Does that make me a miserable ass? Would you mind being stuck in an elevator with me, SHRINK? Guarantee your ass will be miserable!!! You'd love it, sweet cheeks!!!! HEY ORIONS ANGELS... BULLSHIT! How can it be just good popcorn fun when everything is so convoluted and conversations get repetetive. It's like a sci fi version of a porno movie, where you're just sitting thru plot to get to the action.. but at least in porno there's a beginning, middle and conclusion. These movies..... sigh, i'm a hater. eat me.

  • May 7, 2005, 6:05 p.m. CST


    by THX2000

    Friend of mine who is in the movie biz refers to Lucas as "the fat toy salesman in the flannel shirt". That's pretty accurate. George Lucas has not honestly directed a film for almost 30 years. Sitting alone in a billion-dollar Skywalker Ranch, cranking out videos for your 300 foster kids does NOT make one a great film-maker. Mattel and Lego are George's first and only love, the films are just fluff to support that.

  • May 7, 2005, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Deja Reflection

    by Comsat_Angel

    ***Hey, Moriarty, why wait to write a review? It

  • May 7, 2005, 8:06 p.m. CST

    "But the visuals are NOT that great, mostly because Lucas is a c

    by Triumph poops!

    HA HA HA! Again, a comment from the no-taste seats in the house. Lucas is a GENIUS at framing shots. Even if you don't like his dialoque, turn down the sound on the prequels and you can follow th stories perfectly. His framing is dead on. It's moody, it's evocative, it tells a story. It's art in every sense of the word. You know, This statement might've actually been worth addressing more if it hadn't been laughably tossed out by one of the walking clueless who still haven't figured out Joss Whedon can only do amatuer level, vomit-inducingly bad hack work.

  • May 7, 2005, 8:15 p.m. CST

    "Friend of mine who is in the movie biz refers to Lucas as 'the

    by Triumph poops!

    I suppose we're supposed to give a shit about this no-name's opinion? Newsflash: we don't. It's worth squal. On the flip side however, Hollywood refers back to your friend as "the clueless moron who's just deluding himself about being here since his eye-rollingly bad taste and bottomless no-talent body will never take him farther than being an appliance salesman over at the Century City mall."

  • May 7, 2005, 8:15 p.m. CST

    Those fanboys.

    by RainJacket

    Goddamn, do I hate fanboys. I really do. All of them. The other day, I literally tore shit a part in my own house because of fanboyism. Then I grew even more angry at the fact I let a goddamn fanboy affect me in such a way. They're everywhere, you can't avoid them. You want to talk about a brand of sparkplugs? You can be sure there is an entire internet forum dedicated to it and how a different brand totally sucks. It's just that much worse when it comes to movies. "Those Star Wars movies were so goddamned terrible, they were the worst things ever made ever in the history of all cinema!" No, you asses, that isn't even close. "Man, George Lucas is a genius, he's going to show us with this latest movie and prove all of you naysayers wrong!" Sorry, that isn't going to happen. Lucas isn't even that great of a filmmaker anyway, and has proven to be more lucky than good. Why in the fuck can you fanboys never see a middle ground? Not everything has to be "the best ever" or "the worst ever", you know. An attempt to see everything so black and white is merely an example of someone who lacks the ability to think any other way. i.e, you fucking fanboys are all unreasonable degenerates and deserve your place in society. If I had to rank the dreck of the world, I'd probably go with Geeks, then Nerds, then Nazis... a bunch of shit I wouldn't even know... and then fanboys. The lowest pits of Hell have been reserved for you.

  • May 7, 2005, 9:20 p.m. CST

    "I literally tore shit a part [sic] in my own house because of f

    by Jar Jar 4 Prez

    Goddamn dude, you need help. Star Wars episodes 1 thu 6 are the best half-dozen movies ever made!! Now go upstairs and break all your mom's plates.

  • May 7, 2005, 10:19 p.m. CST

    This TB isn't about Joss Whedon

    by AeroB

    And ironically I'm not the one who keeps harping on about him, it's you. Triumph poops, you are the worst combination possible for a poster: you're a fanboy and a troll at the same time. Grow up man.

  • May 7, 2005, 10:42 p.m. CST

    The next INDY MOVIE:

    by stlfilmwire

    Have Indy playing the fatherly Sean Connery role and have Jet Li who comes back from his work in Asia... and needs Indy to help him figure things out.

  • May 7, 2005, 10:43 p.m. CST

    Of course...

    by stlfilmwire

    Of course u have Jet Li play Short Round... (instead of casting the original Short Round)

  • May 7, 2005, 11:46 p.m. CST

    Jet Li is the man

    by AeroB

    But he's not an Indiana Jones. Don't think I'd buy the swashbuckling adventurer schtick from him. Could put Ewan Mcregor in the role, though.

  • May 8, 2005, 12:24 a.m. CST

    Lucas can't frame?

    by Reverendz

    Now I've heard it all. Lucas has always been well regarded because of his excellent visual sense. God damned, if you can understand THX 1138 with the garbled, F'd up sound track that it has, then you know the guy knows how to tell a story visually. You don't think he was deeply involved with the creation of visuals for Empire and Jedi? He's practically OCD with the creation of the movies. Lucas is, if nothing else, a great visual storyteller. If you can't see that or admit it, then you are just hating. Plain and simple.

  • May 8, 2005, 12:25 a.m. CST

    fan version of ANH

    by pavemental

    So this fan version of ANH with all the deleted scenes etc? Where do I get a copy? The link in part 1 of the council doesnt go anywhere

  • May 8, 2005, 1:21 a.m. CST

    I was marking down shots last night...

    by AeroB

    ...when watching AotC critically. There are so many in that film that just, well, suck. Maybe he was once good at it, but he's lost it. He should just retire to his fortune and leave us in peace. That said I think RotS could be okay simply because it's really hard to make THAT story suck.

  • May 8, 2005, 1:22 a.m. CST

    And about fan version of ANH...

    by AeroB

    Apparently it got pulled already. If you didn't get the clips the night the Council was posted you're out of luck. I got them all and no I'm not shelling out my bandwidth to give them to you, sorry.

  • May 8, 2005, 1:28 a.m. CST

    Hi Bouffant and Triumph

    by Sicuv Uyall

    He's not a great visual storyteller because people are still reciting his lousy lines in the movies. If you turned the volume down, you would still have to fast forward past all the mitochondria, i love you amidala, why is obi so hard on me bullshit! that would leave you with half an hour left of "great viusal storytelling," Bouffant. I spent $50 on the last 2 movies, taking other people and concessions, plus the dvd for Attack of the Clones, cuz if nuthin' else it is a good showcase for my surround system... Onkyo 6.1, Boston V Surround speakers, bitches yeah!!..... and i'm still pissed off at how bad Frogboy Lucas fucked it all up.. that's right Bouffant. I'M A HATER...TO LUCAS, BOUFFANT, AND TRIUMPH, LICK MY NADS UP AND DOWN! So Triumph, did you name yourself after that cool puppet insult dog that showed up to that Star Wars premiere line and started to insult each and every geek, such as yourself, who camped out in line for 1 week to catch the first showing? You know, the one on Conan's show? Yeah? You? So you're saying you get the joke but you're pretty much being the big butt of the joke, right. I think Lord of the Rings already made these 3 cartoons its bitch. Got me? Good. What was that? I didn't hear you. Oh, nothing, huh? Thought so. Seacrest OUT!!!!

  • May 8, 2005, 5:15 a.m. CST

    Good post, Broncofan

    by Sicuv Uyall

    And it all comes down to GREED GREED GREED. I for one will not be watching this movie on Friday.... I was thinking more like Sunday noontime bargain hour, bitches. This will have to do until Batman Begins opens.

  • May 8, 2005, 7:17 a.m. CST

    From what I've seen General Grevious is even less intimidating t

    by SoupDragon

    I'm basing this on the film footage from the Ep III video game. The voice acting, the body language, the movement and the dialogue are all really underwhelming. The character is just not scary, or formidable or even that interesting. He's nothing like his portrayal in the Clone Wars cartoons. I have quite a high opinion of what I've seen of the rest of the film and story. But, unless he's meant to come accross like another Neimodian ass-clown, then they dropped the ball with Grevious, big time.

  • May 8, 2005, 10:20 a.m. CST


    by Dog Of Mystery


  • May 8, 2005, 11:12 a.m. CST

    I can't wait for this movie to come out.

    by rev_skarekroe

    If nothing else, so I can read these articles without worrying about spoilers.

  • May 8, 2005, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Sicuv Uyall

    by Reverendz

    "that's right Bouffant. I'M A HATER...TO LUCAS, BOUFFANT, AND TRIUMPH, LICK MY NADS UP AND DOWN!" Admitting you have a problem is the first step ;)

  • May 8, 2005, 5:08 p.m. CST


    by Sicuv Uyall

    The next step would be to kick your mom out of my bed and throw her gramma panties at her when she runs out. I hate her too.

  • May 8, 2005, 6:23 p.m. CST

    The Hellboy, you are ridiculous

    by 007-11

    I can't believe i'm having to bring this up. The FILMS contradict the FILMS. Qui Gon Jin? There is no Jedi training through osmosis. I won't go any further.

  • Oh wow! Thanks for that hot tip, Moriarty. Especially since that has been known for...well, ever. These "Jedi Councils" are the epitome of retardation. No new information is given, it's just a handful of self-important Star Wars fans sitting around talking about nothing of interest. Why should we care how much Random Person 003 hated 'Attack of the Clones'? And concerning Star Tours (and I quote): "There have been rumors about Star Tours reupping and remaking for a decade now, rumors that have been circulating in Orange County and Anaheim, and it

  • May 8, 2005, 9:39 p.m. CST

    Jihad Joe, where to start.

    by I Dunno

    I should have stopped reading when you praised the Zahn boos but I couldn't. So which is it, make up your mind. Is he greedy or does he make poor business decisions but stopping at 6 films and knowingly making the last one un-mainstream? And the wife thing is ridiculous. She did dick with those movies and got half his shit. the rest of your non-sensical post is too idiotic to address.

  • May 8, 2005, 9:55 p.m. CST

    Lego Game is EXCELLENT

    by Knucklehead

    In all seriousness, the Star Wars lego game is pretty cool. It has a lot of neat touches and it a blast to play, especially with your kids. In fact, most gaem sites give it a much higher review than the regulat ROTS game. Check it out, even as a rental. You wont be disappointed.

  • May 9, 2005, 12:30 a.m. CST


    by hoorayforeric

    Why do so many bast was a great SW and a great film overall! Sure some of the dialogue pieces were weak...but overall...the film was great!!

  • May 9, 2005, 12:46 a.m. CST


    by Forestal

    I agree. Except for some dialogue that made me cringe. "Ani, My you've grown." Jesus fucking Christ that was bad.

  • Sick of You all, some of the cheap porn I have has no beginning, it just cuts from facial cum shot to facial cumshot, anal bang to anal bang, and anal bead extraction to anal bead extraction. The days of "classy" porn with plot is over my friend. Gone are the days of "Coed Fever" starring Ron Jeremy and Annette Haven, "8 Women who ate women", and prized soft core porn such as "Enemy Gold". Most porn now starts with 10 minutes of adds that show better action than the freaking movie does!!

  • May 9, 2005, 2:33 a.m. CST

    The Worst Scene in Star Wars History

    by CatoTheCensor

    Holy shit!! I just saw the worst scene in Star Wars history. I bought the AOTC DVD when it came out but never really got around to watching the extras. I just watched the deleted scene where Padme takes Anakin home to meet her parents (I shit you not!) It is so awful that it's hysterical. Man, as bad as Lucas is sometimes we should be thankful for the crap he realizes SHOULD NOT be in the movies.

  • May 9, 2005, 2:36 a.m. CST


    by CatoTheCensor

    Does anyone else agree with me that Sam Jackson is AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL in these movies. My god...he seems to have absolutely no clue what he's doing or how to make the most out of the (admittedly weak) dialogue. Ewan has the same crappy dialogue but see how much better his delivery is...and fuck, Ian McDiarmid nails it every time.

  • May 9, 2005, 6:32 a.m. CST

    The best line about Pornos and Plot is from Richard Jeni in a st

    by Commando Cody

    ...when he noted "And taking pornos seriously these days as if they're movies? Come on, give me a break! Seriously, when was the last time you EVER heard of a person watching a porno and then saying 'Gee, it's funny. I didn't think the story was gonna end that way.'"

  • May 9, 2005, 7:47 a.m. CST


    by Sicuv Uyall

    I stand corrected. By the way, I saw Ron Jeremy at my work the other day hanging with 2 hotties about 1/3 his age. My hero. Put him in a Star Wars movie and you won't need no CGI characters.

  • May 9, 2005, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Revenge of the Sith makes Spielberg cry

    by PhilConnors

    There is an article about it on, however I can't view it thanks to websense. So if anyone would post the text of the article in this talkback I'd appreciate it.

  • May 9, 2005, 9:48 a.m. CST

    never mind

    by PhilConnors

    Spielberg says: "I saw it about a week ago, and it's absolutely amazing. It's the best of the last three episodes. It's the best way you could possibly imagine for George to finish it off, it has a tremendous ending and it's very dark. You'll cry at the end, it's wonderful."

  • May 9, 2005, 2:43 p.m. CST


    by I Dunno

    I said the ruling was ridiculous and that she got half this shit. Those are two separate ideas and do not contradict each other. So you're going to sit there and tell me that this broad did have the work on Star Wars? Wrote half the story, did half the business deals? Took half part in inventing the computer controlled camera? You can't possibly be that deranged. AS for Zahn's tripe, don't confuse the people's wanting anything Star Wars to his crap revitalizing the franchise. Lucas could have released a film in 1986, '87, '90, etc and they all would have made money. Zahn's crap did nothing to revitilize the franchise. It just gave a canteen of water to a Star Wars thirsty bunch of fanboys. If it was such an important and brilliant piece of work, why did Lucas take a hot steamy shiat all over its canon with the Clone Wars? Yes I know, they used the planet name "Couscant" that Zahn may or may not have invented. You EU fanyboys will always have that to cling to.

  • May 9, 2005, 5:14 p.m. CST

    Why Should I Care About These Opinions


    AICN has definitely gone downhill from the days when the geeks were the outsiders who were being fed reports from the REAL insiders. Now, every geek on the so-called "Jedi Council" has claims of insider status, despite the fact that they really just feed out of the same mainstream press trough like every other two-bit journalist and entertainment reporter. It's revolting. It's like watching a bunch of wanna-bes pat themselves on the backs for finally becoming cool. Erase every dropped name and hinted at mention of self-importance and what do you have? A bunch of laymen talking about movies. It's okay to be a lay-person, but this group has an aire of pomposity that really turns my stomach. I came to AICN for the tidbits, the links, the pics to unreleased films, and all of that. I couldn't care less what anyone on this site (who provides content for AICN, that is,) thinks about ANY film. Give me secret spy pics, spy reports, screener reviews, and all the stuff we used to look forward to seeing on AICN. This is no longer the site it once was. It is far worse.

  • May 9, 2005, 7:36 p.m. CST

    The Last Jedi Council. Who FUCKIN cares?

    by Lamerz

  • May 9, 2005, 11:39 p.m. CST

    Where is Marcia Lucas now?... I rest my case

    by Lavaman

    This bullshit about Marcia Lucas, being a/the real creative mastermind behind Star Wars, is stupid. Everybody who says this, either prove it or shut up. Star Wars was, and always has been, George Lucas's Vision. Marcia had nothing to do with the Script, and was only on the editing team of A New Hope because she was George's wife; she didn't contribute anything major. George was the Main Editor, particularly with the Groundbreaking Space Battle, even though he didn't list himself in the Credits as Editor. The only significant thing Marcia the gold digger done, was take half of George's money.

  • May 10, 2005, 9:32 a.m. CST

    "the class and artistry of TPM and AOTC"

    by minderbinder

    Now THAT's fucking hilarious.

  • May 10, 2005, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Interesting Thread on the IMDB

    by splatpnk

  • May 10, 2005, 4:04 p.m. CST


    by devil0509

    'Nuff Said

  • May 19, 2005, 3 p.m. CST


    by Darth_Binge

    Not quite my friend .. not quite