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Quint enters the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. Does he like what he sees'
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here... I'm running on fumes here... I got very little sleep last night, saw 2 Epic movies on the big screen and then came back to write about both of them plus update. I'm not complaining... this is what I live for! Just in the interest of full disclosure so you understand why this might turn into a half-assed review or spot some wild tangents that my sleep deprived brain tells me are good ideas.
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN is a movie I've been looking forward to for quite a while. I love, love, love Ridley Scott (LEGEND is one of my all time favorite movies) and I am one of the three people on this earth (including Orlando Bloom's Mom, Wolfgang Peterson's brother and Eric Bana's poolboy) who really liked TROY, so Orlando Bloom headlining a Ridley Scott epic sounded good to me, especially since it surrounds the Crusades, a subject I've long been curious about, but haven't read much about.
The film follows a blacksmith (Orlando Bloom) who is suffering through the poverty of a famine stricken land. He lost a child to disease, he then lost a wife to suicide after she couldn't deal with the death of their child... All this we find out after the fact. Some crusaders file through his little area, including Liam Neeson. Their arrival isn't coincidental. Neeson has sniffed Bloom out in order to beg forgiveness... You see, Neeson wham-bam-thankya-ma'amed his mother and believe it or not... is his father.
Neeson also invites him along to Jerusalem, where Bloom can begin to atone for his sins and perhaps even do enough good that his wife (a suicide, remember) might be saved from damnation.
The opening is actually my favorite part of the film even though the big battles are in the second half of the flick. Bloom's confrontation with the graverobbing priest who not only beheaded the corpse of his wife, but also stole her crucifix is intense and brutal... and where else outside of a vampire flick am I gonna get to see a cross burned into flesh?
Shortly after this Bloom catches up to Neeson and his band, including David Thewlis, an actor that used to be fingernails on a chalkboard to me, but damned if he hasn't become one of my favorite character actors. He's great in this. Neeson does a bit of teaching how to fight, then all hell breaks loose. Arrows fly, axes hack and only a few of the group make it out alive. There's a particularly great muscle-bound character that I wish had stayed in the movie... he's a badass and you'll know why when you see the flick.
The rest of the movie is Bloom becoming a Knight and taking the side of the King of Jerusalem, a leper played by Edward Norton, who goes out of his way to broker peace between the Christians and the Muslims. There are those within the walls of Jerusalem that want no peace and thus the action is ramped up.
I really dug this movie, but it's not perfect. I've heard rumor that Scott had to cut an hour out of the movie. I believe it. The pacing is off and it doesn't seem to flow right, scenes rushing together or speeding by too fast to make a huge impact. I hope to see Scott's original cut someday. I do concede that I was damn tired when watching this movie, so my exhaustion might have played a part in that.
Orlando Bloom does a fine job, effortlessly carrying the picture. I never saw him wobble with the responsibility. I think we'll be seeing a lot more of him.
The epic battles are good... a little too GLADIATOR shaky, but still very entertaining and gruesome. My fears from the trailers that I'd keep being reminded of RETURN OF THE KING and THE TWO TOWERS were not unfounded. You'll see a lot of the LOTR films in this movie... you'll hear it, too... I shit you not, Orlando Bloom at one point says "Let them come!"
What I liked best about the film was the way it treated the Muslims. This flick could really be an important learning tool for the ignorant out there, those that can't ever see the humanity of other cultures. Remember when the Japanese and later the Vietnamese were just "squinty-eyed gooks"? With time sandwiched between then and now we understand their reasons for fighting us, we can see them as human beings, but I see a scary amount of that same ignorance aimed at Muslims today.
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN underlines the similarities between the Christians and Muslims, how their holy relics in Jerusalem are no different than the Christian holy relics. David Thewlis has a great monologue about religion. He plays a priest, remember, but he says he doesn't like religion because it's used as a badge for heretics in every faith ever known. Holiness is in your actions and decisions. This is the same speech that gives us that great trailer moment when Thewlis points to Bloom's head and heart saying "What God wants is here and here."
It ain't perfect, but it's sure epic and pretty. I liked GLADIATOR a lot more, but KINGDOM OF HEAVEN is certainly very relevant and what the hell else you gonna go see this weekend? HOUSE OF WAX? Fuck no you're not! Fuck that shit! KINGDOM OF HEAVEN!!!
Anyway, enough of my rantings and ravings. Hope you folks have a good weekend. I have my thoughts on a certain space flick to give ya', but that'll be in a day or two. 'Til then this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu!
-Quint
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Orlando's dreamy
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actually i didn't mind TROY for what it was. a bit of sword and sandal fun on the big screen. I got my "age of bronze" comics to cover the subject properly. And I'm sure kingdom of Heaven is going to be better than Return of the King. just my opinion and i only mention it because quint vaguely compares 'em.
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Who is this guy fucking to get all these roles as top hero guy...they guy's a plank!
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May 06, 2005 5:35:12 AM CDT
Hmmm, really need some raves and overwhelming positive reviews
by gheorghe zamfir
for me to care about seeing this film, so far the lukewarm reviews aren't making me think this is gonna be worth the sore ass.
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Ask what happened to the last guy (ForeverTJ)that espoused your sentiments. Notice he is not in any more TBs?
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is shit
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This movie has been thoroughly ripped apart by several people in the know, including several English professors and Robert Spencer from Jihad Watch. It's basically 'Osama bin Laden's version of the Crusades' and I understand from Scott himself that he purposely set out to paint a pretty picture of the Muslim hordes attacking Jerusalem. What do you expect when you let CAIR review the script? The fact is that the Crusades were defensive wars fought to protect Christian lands against Islamic Jihad. Scott lies when he says there was a 'brotherhood of Muslims, Christians and Jews' that was striving for peace and then the knights fucked it up. It's all just a whitewash of history and propaganda. I will see this stupid movie because of the battle scenes but if you look for truth, look elsewhere.
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Okay, so it's not Gladiator, but it's still better than most of the films showing in cinemas today. By the way for the people who are interested the Dukes of Hazzard trailer is online. And just as I thought Jessica Simpson is freakin hot in this movie, but the jokes are a really lame. http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/thedukesofhazzardqt1.html
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..was the Star Wars prequels! The haters got together a posse and declared holy war on George Lucas, laying siege to Skywalker Ranch. At the height of the battle, Lucas was documented as having stood on the battlements, baring his buttocks, and shouting "May the ASS be with you, suckers!!"
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A highly polished turd ! Well I never....
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your insight serves you well... though I guess I am too ignorant to figure out his new name. Who is it?
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The Crusades were a way for Christian Europe to bleed off the population of surplus men. The "Christian nations" didn't even EXIST until after the Crusaders established them in the 11th century, so claiming that they were "defensive actions" is ludicrous. I strongly suggest that you read something like Steven Runciman's history of the Crusades...and oh yeah, Saladin was praised as a paragon of chivalry by Europeans as far as the Middle Ages. He was certainly a better man than Guy de Lusignan, who was an evil, evil, evil man.
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Let me guess the Spanish Inquisition was defensive also...ye knob!
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Right, Christianity didn't take off till after the Crusades. LMAO!
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May 06, 2005 6:55:08 AM CDT
i'm gonna see this in a few hours. my expectations lowered more
by curryice
i hope it's gonna be still enjoyable.
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May 06, 2005 7:11:16 AM CDT
"Remember when the Japanese and later the Vietnamese were just "
by stvnhthr
Good review, thanks Quint. It sounds like an entertaining flick and I love Scott's directing, but it sounds like it is nowhere near historically accurate.
"Remember when the Japanese and later the Vietnamese were just "squinty-eyed gooks" here is the minor problem with comparing a religion (Muslim) to a Nationallity (Japanese, Vietnamese): you can choose your religion, you can't change where you are born. -
May 06, 2005 7:12:48 AM CDT
Kingdom of Heaven is like Serenity except with lamer storyline,
by jossisgod
What were they thinking??? All these summer blockbuster films are going to be embarrassing when compared to Serenity.
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http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/thedukesofhazzard.html
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pity. she's one of the most beautiful girls i've ever seen.
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Crusades defensive ?? thats a new one! You must be reading the same history books that say Hitler invaded Europe - defensively . Well done you ! Pay better attention at school eh. I still think this film is probably shite though .
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or that the '03 Iraq war was a defensive war.
Some people are so easily led. -
May 06, 2005 8:17:26 AM CDT
You liked Troy, I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet
by ghkilgore
Legend? The one with Tim Curry and Tommy Cruise. I bet that Tommy wished he had never made that stinker. I was in England when I saw it, edited totaly different and better then the American version. I just remeber the female lead looking totaly hot when she went all goth. I think calling the Muslims savages is totaly insulting. You have insulted all savages of the world. Muslims are lower then a subspecies of shit eating flyes. Dukes of Hazard lookes like crap though the chicks look smokin. Oralando Bloom dreamy, fag! Does Liam have a light saber in this?
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No really he did.
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I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. The Daily show? That left wing commey fag John Stewert is by far the most unfuniest man in history. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
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How do you think the holy lands converted from Jewish and Christian faiths (which they were for a thousand years before any one heard "'Allahuh Akbar") to Islam?
Do you think they had some young kids go door to door in shirts and ties, with Koran in hand, and try to talk people into converting?
From the time of Mohammed, the means of Muslim expansion was always the sword. Muslim thought divides the world into two spheres, the Abode of Islam and the Abode of War. Christianity -
May 06, 2005 8:44:57 AM CDT
"I am one of the three people on this earth (including Orlando B
by al_shut
Does this mean Quint is either Bloom`s mother,Peterson`s brother or Bana`s poolboy? My guess is the mother
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May 06, 2005 8:45:49 AM CDT
Actually the Daily Show is damned funny and Orlando Bloom is a d
by i dunno
These fucking actors who land these parts that they would have gladly sucked any cock for, suddenly get all insensed about being related to their character. So return the residual checks, twat.
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More crap, or mediocre bullshit, than winners. I have no faith in the man after the clusterfuck that was Gladiator. Such a stupid movie. Atleast he has awesome movies like Black Rain, GI Jane, and 1492 under his belt to bolster his career. Heh.
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At what point did I claim that John Stewart or the Daily Show was the bastion of contemporary comedy or the moral centre of the universe? Why presume all this you hate spouting prick. Did we get out of the wrong side of the fucking hospital bed today? Nursie not give you enough of the blue and reds?? Get bent you homophobic retard and lighten the fuck up.
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May 06, 2005 9:11:26 AM CDT
actually, most Europeans at the time were happy to peacefully co
by hypeendshere
there's a myth that the Muslims invaded Europe in a series of bloddy battles in an effort to convert the masses to Islam. the religious leaders were the political leaders and if it meant a better life for them, most willingly convert. and if they didn't, thay had to pay a tax. whoop-dee fucking do. But Pope Urban II felt threatened and thus...the shit we're in. ah, mesopotamia...where civilization began...and ended. the 3 religions that worship the same God all exhibit equal parts of the worst human traits. Greedy=Jewish (Groucho), Stupid=Muslim (Chico), and Violent=Christian (Harpo). oh, and sometimes Zeppo.
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Oh yeah? Were you there? There is not critical consensus about exactly what happened at any moment in the crusades; some historians (Steven Runciman, Robert Payne) think the Christians were the barbarians, others are very anti-Muslim. For Christ's sake, no one was there, and EVERY historian is biased one way or the other. The best we can do is make an educated guess--a lot of people got killed, and there was a lot of fucked up shit done by BOTH sides, and the Crusaders certainly had their hand in the savagery. By all accounts, Reynald of Chatilion was completely sadistic and brutal.
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Then how come when there is film that shows the negitive side of Islam and its treatment of women, the danish filmaker is stabbed and shot to death, with a note on him that threatens all of a Europe?
When France passes a law banning ALL religious headgear, the threats to make the country "run with rivers of blood" only came from the MUSLIMS??? -
May 06, 2005 9:43:58 AM CDT
relax your sphincter. i only need one question mark per questio
by hypeendshere
yes, my previous post was a generalization, but over the course of history (not just since 2000), the Christians seem to have the trait of overreating in a wave of brutality that isn't completely unique. (the traits I mention are not mutually exclusive to the group cited) yes, the Muslims are violent. it's a direct reaction to the confrontation they receive from their stupidity. historically, they've never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
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I will bash you in your head with my cane, geek!
When the great one, Freddie Blassy comes to your town. All you woman, you want to see the great one, the hollywood fashion plate.
You can look, but you can't touch!
One thing I can stand is scum sucking no good loser with lousy physique, nothing but a pencil neek!!!!!!!!!!geek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
....anyone who could possibly give a shit has been dead a very long time and it's pointless. Enjoy the movie for what it is and stop being indignant on the behlf of long dead people who probably think you quite the arrogant and pompous prick for doing so. This movie will not change history, it probably won't even make it's budget back. So, please stop trying to rally the call of truth for the dead. They truly don't give a fuck.
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for what it was,there are some very slow moving parts that i found it hard to watch but when the action starts its hard violent and bloody....the whole Christian/Moslem question is handled well and though Bloom is`nt the greatest actor on Earth he doesnt deliver a "BAD" performance
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My wife and I walked out of a free screening after about an hour. Orlando Bloom is not a leading man and this was an obvious and boring story. We didn't care about any of the characters and the jerky camerawork was very annoying. Avoid!
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May 06, 2005 10:50:55 AM CDT
So far, it has a whopping approval rating of 38% at Rotten Tomat
by garbageman33
Putting it in the esteemed company of Cheaper by the Dozen and Bringing Down the House. Hmm, might have something to do with the fact that Orlando Bloom has all the personality of a toilet brush.
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Kingdom of Heaven
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this is not a documentary. indiana jones meets Hitler in Lost Crusade. it's fiction against the backdrop of history. "Kingdom"s version of the crusades is not their justification for continuing terrorism. and perhaps you should read "The Crusades Through Arab Eyes" or "Holy War". It's a good book that uses "triple vision" telling of the events from each of the western religions POV. of course it also occasionally sympathizes with Islam. Interesting. as you pull away from the Christian viewpoint, the Muslim don't seem as much like violent animals. Could there be a reason? Nah. just read Schlussel. she'll tell you what to think.
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May 06, 2005 11:47:31 AM CDT
Let the rehabilitation of the Muslim "religion" continue
by vikingkitty
Whitewash history, hide the truth about their pedophile founder's slaughter of innocent jews, his actions as a glorified sand pirate - fuck that.
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but hollywood would rather not make a movie about that. for reasons i can't begin to think of... and putting "religion" in quotes doesn't make it less of a religion.
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I heard from folks who were fortunate enough to get into a local preview a month or two back, that the running time was just a smooch over three hours. As of today, the running time is 2hrs 25mins, so there are definately massive chunks of movie missing here. Why the fuck do they have to chop these things up like this? What is so wrong about doing it RIGHT the first time out?
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You can voice your problems with Islam, but please remember that the God of Islam is the God of the old and the new testaments. Therefore, if you write that Islam isn't a religion, you are stating that the Muslim God isn't a god, and therefore you are also stating that the Jew's God (i.e. Yahweh) and the Christian's God (i.e. God) isn't a god either. Now, if you're an athiest (or of another religion) I supposse that's fine. Impolite and rude, but whatever. However, if you're a Christian or Jew than you should reread the first commandment. God says something about being... well... God. And, thus, an athiest puts his two cents in. Also, re: the movie. It looks like crap.
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May 06, 2005 1:34:29 PM CDT
Notice how nobody has a problem with Buddists? Coincidental? I
by j-dizzle
Seriously though, Muslims back in the day were assholes. If Persian history were given a little more coverage, those who claim Christians are ignorant would find themselves to be a little ignorant too. Sure, Catholics weren't high and mighty either (their betrayel of the Byzantine Empire is proof of this), but anyone who defends the actions of Muslims during their rise to power needs to be bitch slapped and given a taste of their own medicine.
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It's kind of funny, Western Infidels wanting to learn more about Islamic Society abroad get killed, by Muslims, How Sweet:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/meast/04/30/cairo.explosion/index.html
Then we have attacks on Infidel Hindus: http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/asiapcf/04/07/kashmir.busride/index.html
And Christians: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4385265.stm
And this isn't a 1000 years ago, folks, it's today!
LE LE LE LE LE LE LE!!!!
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May 06, 2005 2:01:28 PM CDT
And thank you for mentioning the Theo Van Gogh murder classyfred
by j-dizzle
...at least someone here pays attention to atrocities that have a knack of being overlooked.
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Wasn't he a blacksmith in "Pirates of the Caribbean?" The kid has range I tell ya!
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all religions have a history of converting poeple with violence. christians did it to the blacks/with slavery. also with the times of today, with all the ignorant poeple living in america that don't understand the true meaning of Islam, just search up ISLAM and find out what the religion is really about? Don't let a few bad muslims impare your judgement on all muslims. Islam is a religion about peace, never forget that.
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I don't trust them. For one, there not mulsim so they have an bias opinion about what they did. They will only tell you the negative sides, but to be fair, the mulsims will talk about the positives. So, don't listen to other poeple.. look it up yourself, and have your own opinion.
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hahaha your right 007.. Bloom was a blacksmith in Pirates also! He's just an average actor. I don't see him as a lead actor. He doesn't have the presence to be a lead. He's better just having about 3 lines in an entire movie.
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May 06, 2005 2:20:44 PM CDT
"This flick could really be an important learning tool for the i
by hanfiredfirst
Also I've read a few reviews of this film, and so far no one has mentioned that the Crusades were a response to earlier Arab / Muslim invasions of Europe.
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...you are right in your statement that Muslims were the initial aggressors (they took over Southern Spain aswell as Sicily and and Southern Italy), but the Crusades didn't really take off until the Byzantine Empire called for help against the Seljuk Turks. Little did they know that their so called Christian brothers would excommunicate them, labelling the Orthodox Church as heretical, and Crusade against the Byzantines themselves in a bid to capture Constantinople's riches.
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Quint thinks the movie "underlines the similarities between the Christians and Muslims, how their holy relics in Jerusalem are no different than the Christian holy relics". Holy crap, the jews were in Jerusalem for almost 5000 years before the muslims invaded. Their al aqsa mosque is built on the smoldering ruins of the Temple Mount. If this is what people are going to leave the theatre with, then it is causing more trouble than it's worth.
Jambaman, how many links to the use of 'jihad' meaning violent struggle do you need to see? Every week, imams throughout the ME and Europe preach the need for jihad against the infidels. The only people who use the word jihad in the sense of 'peaceful inner struggle' are good little dhimmis like you. Google that word if you've never heard of it - you're in for a treat! -
It's great to see what sweet and understanding people the Muslim forces were. Too bad those evil Crusaders were so underhanded. Let's face it, guys, both sides were fucked up. PC doesn't equal real when it comes to war.
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actaully 'Jihad' means "holy war". And how do you know that every week imamas (same thing as preists, but for islam) talk about jihad? Unless you've been to a mosque and heard the imamas talk about this every week.If thats not the case, then this is pointless. I just don't like how the world has made Islam into a violent religion when in reality it's not. AFter all, 'KKK' were a bunch of white men killing black people... that doesn't mean that all white people are like that...don't base your judgement on the actions of a few.
http://www.islam101.com/
go there and learn about Islam. Broaden your horizons about other religions. And all this misunderstandings will go away. -
The verses in the Holy Quran forbid Muslims to insult anything that is viewed as a deity by any religion, regardless of whether it is a person, a stone, a stick or a tree. The verse 2:256 of the Quran says:
Let there be no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah hears and knows all things.
Islam wants its adherents to be just to every human being.
bullet "Do not let your hatred of a people incite you to aggression." (The Quran 5:2).
bullet "And do not let ill-will towards any folk incite you so that you swerve from dealing justly. Be just; that is nearest to heedfulness" (The Quran 5:8).
Muslims are asked to be truthful, trustworthy, humble, kind and generous. They are asked to repel evil with goodness, control their anger, and be forgiving. Some of the sayings of the Prophet are:
bullet "To remove something harmful from the road, is charity."
bullet "Charity erases sins just as water extinguishes fire."
bullet "He is not a perfect believer, who goes to bed full and knows that his neighbor is hungry."
bullet "Show mercy to people on earth so that All -
May 06, 2005 3:27:58 PM CDT
Look, there's only one reason why people watch these movies: BAT
by bigdickmcgee
As far as historical accuracy, politics and religion? Who really gives a shit? Gladiator and Braveheart were historical nonsense, too. Hollywood is politically correct, and can't offend anyone. Also, these epics are about as historical as Lord of the Rings. It's just spectacle designed to wow the crowd - with BATTLE SCENES!! If the battles are cool, Braveheart style, mega-limb-chopfests with an El Cid granduer, count me in. If not, I'll catch it on Netflix.
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Nice to see what the true muslims think abouyt that well-known hate monger and spread of violence and venom, Pope John Paul:
DUBAI: The Arab world -
Quit polluting the world with your intolerance. Science is the only true, borderless country.
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It would take more time than I have to catalogue the hatred spewing from the religious leaders of islam. I would love to visit the grand mosque in Mecca, but as a non-muslim I'm not even allowed to enter the city. Here's a taste of peace and tolerance from a single week last year:
From the martyr King Abdallah mosque in Amman, Jordan:
In conclusion, the imam prays to God: -
Sorry for the monolithic post, my paragraph breaks didn't work.
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I was responding to Quint's review. Grow up.
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YOu never hear about this stuff happening!
BEIRUT, Lebanon -
FYI, the Jews never once converted by force. Do your homework.
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People like all of you burned down the Alexandrian Library. I am a moral relativist, so therefore I don't get respect from any of you. Peace is your ultimate enemy. There is no profit in living together in harmony. It's times like these I wish an asteroid would hit the earth and kill all of us, because you have truly made this world a horrible place to live in. It's difficult to deny the proclivity of faith because humanity is insecure with recognizing itself as its own ideological imperative. They want a parental figure, except it becomes a "my dad can beat up your dad" bullshit scenario. All religion is human interpretation. The ownership of land is a fallacy, and "democracy is the WORST system of government except for everything else" (Winston Churchill). You all make this world 80 percent evil, while the only infrastructure that the world has is maintained by the 20 percent of the good. These are the people who work to build society as opposed to destroy it with zealotry. It's amazing we can have any infrastructure with the likes of fanatics such as yourselves existing. Think about the bullshit you are talking about ON A MOVIE WEBSITE MESSAGEBOARD. You are trying to convince people as to the rightness of your opinion. As the old adage goes "a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still", so think twice- you are not changing anything except contributing to the problem instead of the solution. You have clean water, food, shelter and a computer. There are people dying of hunger and dehydration in some countries. You NEVER have to consider that in your daily lives. But that doesn't matter, instead you have a license to be fucking bitter and rant on a movie website board about how right you are and how everybody else is wrong. Nothing is ever good enough for you people. It's a movie, and you should all just shut up and talk about THE MOVIE.
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You are right, "people dying of hunger and dehydration in some countries". In the Sudan, it is because of groups of ARMED ARAB MUSLIMS, but no one protests for the black people killed by these thugs. Hollywood Crowd, where are you? http://www.fpa.org/newsletter_info2482/newsletter_info.htm
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http://treyjackson.typepad.com/junction/2005/05/dumbest_comment.html
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May 06, 2005 6:12:36 PM CDT
I'm a pussy? You just proved my point that religion is evil by s
by psalmolive
There is a divide between faith and state. I am against ALL RELIGION, you ignoramus.
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religion sure brings out the bile, doesn't it? i have not seen this movie, but as a Christian, I must admit that some of the Crusades were terrible distortions and atrocities of religion perverted for political and personal greed. however, to make a movie about it (and it *is* just a movie, remember) you have to acknowledge both sides did some pretty rotten things to each other and other people. Bottom line: humanity, left to its own devices, will establish itself as supreme and seek its own gratification at the expense of all else. For examples of this see Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, and Mao Tse-Dong. what faith brings is the submission of oneself and one's desires beneath the needs of others. Any ideological, philosophical, theological doctrine may be twisted beyond its intended meaning, but the way to combat this is to look for and define the intended meaning, and to do this, you have to look to the underlying doctrines, which in the case of Christianity demands reading the Bible, and not just the Old Testament, the whole thing. in Islam's case, the Koran or Quran however you spell it. all of this is to say that people need something in their lives that requires them to not always seek their own pleasure and success at all costs, and if you follow Jesus' teachings, no one can argue that the world would not be a far better place than it is currently. Also, psalmolive, your post "Quit polluting the world with your intolerance. Science is the only true, borderless country." Is this your brand of tolerance? Do you agree that science itself never proposes to have all the answers, merely to look for them and to disprove them if possible? sometimes scientists can be pretty religious about science...
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From the well know hate monger site, Foreign Policy Association: As the Arab Janjawid armed militias continue to destroy village after village in Darfur, a region of western Sudan, thousands of internally displaced persons (IDPs) congregate in camps away from the violence. The IDPs, who have either had their villages burned down or fear that their villages will be next have fled ahead of the militias, as local and governmental authorities pressure them to return home. With a severe man-made famine looming, humanitarian organizations in the area and the U.N. are saying that they are desperately in need of relief assistance. U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan will soon make a trip to the region in order to lobby the Sudanese government for freer access throughout the region. U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell has said that the U.S. government is also looking into whether the massive killings constitute
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May 06, 2005 6:36:20 PM CDT
Psalmolive is a Pussy part 3: He is a self-righteous twit
by classyfredblassy
You are against all religion. Stalin was too, and he is only responsible for like, 100 million people killed, that's all.
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With that "listen to how smooth and sexy I can be" delivery and range that is pretty much limited to "listen to how smooth and sexy I can be" the boy will go far. Whether it's "listen to how smooth and sexy I sound whilst shooting an arrow into Brad Pitt's ankle" or "listen to how smooth and sexy I sound whilst shooting an arrow into an orc's cranium" or "listen to how smooth and sexy I sound as Johnny Depp teaches me about screen presence". The guy is a shite actor. It's getting more and more obvious these days that all you need to make it in hollywood is good looks and a lucky break. Talent is overrated anyway!
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"I am one of the three people on this earth (including Orlando Bloom's Mom, Wolfgang Peterson's brother and Eric Bana's poolboy) who really liked TROY..."
Well, Quint isn't Orlando Bloom's mom or Peterson's brother, so if he's one of the three, then I'm thinking he must be Eric Bana's poolboy. Either that or he's one of the FOUR people who liked Troy.
Beware reviews from those who can't count! -
May 06, 2005 7:27:00 PM CDT
Waiting for the release of "JESUS VS. MUHAMMED," directed by Pau
by truthseekr1488
Seriously tho', I think JC could kick Muhammed's ass all over the Middle East. I mean, JC's got that whole Son-O'-God (tm) thing goin' on and even if he does get killed he can resurrect himself. What's M got? Buncha revelations? Yeah, throw some revelations at Jesus. LOL.
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May 06, 2005 7:39:14 PM CDT
Muslims, Christians, Buddists, Catholics, Pagans and every other
by mattcg
....please, just go fuck yourselves. No one cares. You're fighting to remain ignorant at all costs and your rhetoric is tiresome. The Crusades happened a long fucking time ago and arguing which religion did or did not kill the most people, is like arguing over which brand of cigarette will kill you slowest.
The movie is OK. It's not great, I don't think it'll be successful and you're wasting your time. Go set off a bomb, or beat up a gay guy or supress gay marriage or burn down an abortion clinic or kill a goat or fuck a small, hairless boy. Do whatever the the allowed happy-making activity is defined by your own brand of enforced stupidity and stop trying to convince everyone they're wrong. Or at the very least, shorten your arguments, they're running together. -
http://tinyurl.com/b52jb
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...and I have to say I do not understand what all the fuss is about. Scott set out to make a largely neutral film, wherein impatient fanaticism is constantly being naysayed. Since it's told from a largely Christian perspective, it's no wonder outright zealot idiots like Guy and Reynald receive all the screen time (and let's face it...they're complete dicks). Yet it is also a Christian (Bloom's Balian of Iberlin) who delivers the most tollerant message at the film's climax and whose actions are the most righteous and just. I took these on their merit, though they were arguably fictional ideals. The point is if you pay attention, Saladin is being pressured to take Jerusalem as a prize because "he promised" to do so. He's constantly goaded and questioned by his main subordinate as to why he's not moving fast enough, not unlike the way the Templar goad and bait Baldwin IV to fight. The points about religious fanaticism on both sides are transparent, but should be taken more as sort of allegory, moreso than any serious historical treatise on the crusades. Look guys, I am most certainly NOT a moral relevatist (and the Republican you once knew as "rabid" no less), by any stretch and Ridley Scott does litter his screenplay with some blatant trappings of "white man's guilt" but I have to remember he's a film maker, NOT A GEOPOLITCAL expert. We would all do a hell of a lot better to remember that if you want to enjoy this film.
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May 06, 2005 11:29:17 PM CDT
Why this movie will suck: "Thewlis points to Bloom's head and he
by antoniusbloc
The reviewer writes: "KINGDOM OF HEAVEN underlines the similarities between the Christians and Muslims, how their holy relics in Jerusalem are no different than the Christian holy relics. David Thewlis has a great monologue about religion. He plays a priest, remember, but he says he doesn't like religion because it's used as a badge for heretics in every faith ever known. Holiness is in your actions and decisions. This is the same speech that gives us that great trailer moment when Thewlis points to Bloom's head and heart saying "What God wants is here and here."
This is exactly why this movie will not be as successful (and probably objectively not as good a film) as epics such as Ben Hur, The Passion, and The Lord of the Rings. Such statements are an insult to those who sincerely believe in either religion, and believe them as Truth. It's a cop out, modern moral subjectivism, and most people know, consciously or not, that it's BS.
No one really buys into the idea that Christianity is the root of all evil throughout history when history shows that the modern era is even darker than the Dark Ages.
The modern critics, films like the upcoming 'Kingdom of Heaven' and 'The DaVinci Code', use the Crusades as a way of attacking the Church and Christianity. This period in history is attacked as primitive and violent just because it was a more spiritual age of faith(contrast this with the reverence that is shown for the parallel Shogun culture of the east: a violent, warring culture that advocated suicide for the sake of a human definition of -
its true, i saw it
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In a recent scientific breakthrough, using something called the WMAP satellite, it was determined that, yes, the universe does have a beginning, and that the universe is about 13.7 billion years old. So, from that perspective, the Crusades didn't really happen that long ago. From the perspective of eternity, it's not far at all. That probe also had another major discovery: 96% of the universe is essentially invisible to us. All the instruments of science can only see 4% of the universe. Philosopher, Dr. Peter Kreeft points out, "Evasion is always temporary, a matter of time. Truth is a matter of eternity, whether it is truth evaded or truth faced. In time there are three possible answers to every question: yes, no, and evasion. DEATH, the touching of time to eternity, removes the possibility of the third answer." You can deny the existence of eternity. You can evade the question and take it lightly in your short life. But there is one absolute looming that won't let you evade it for long.
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The fact that those muslims are killing Sudanese people- they are part of a religion. Also, Stalin was part of his own ideology- Communism. I am not necessarily a socialist, but society would have had more progress if we recognized humanity as its own ideological imperative. I never espoused to be a communist- who's the twit now? Oh, you.
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Please define, "humanity as its own ideological imperative". What if 'humanity'is not the ultimate authority? If there is no Creator, what is the foundation of authority in the ideology of 'humanity'? What defines right and wrong for such a 'humanity'? Survival of the fittest? Equal distribution of goods? What if the material is not our true source of life and nourishment? What if something more than the material world exists? Can you deny that 'something more' with absolute certainty? A profound quote from the true epic great, Ben Hur, is: "The world is more than we know."
In a recent scientific breakthrough, using something called the WMAP satellite, it was determined that, yes, the universe does have a beginning, and that the universe is about 13.7 billion years old. So, from that perspective, the Crusades didn't really happen that long ago. From the perspective of eternity, it's not far at all. That probe also had another major discovery: 96% of the universe is essentially invisible to us. All the instruments of science can only see 4% of the universe. Philosopher, Dr. Peter Kreeft points out, "Evasion is always temporary, a matter of time. Truth is a matter of eternity, whether it is truth evaded or truth faced. In time there are three possible answers to every question: yes, no, and evasion. DEATH, the touching of time to eternity, removes the possibility of the third answer." You can deny the existence of eternity. You can evade the question and take it lightly in your short life. But there is one absolute looming that won't let you evade it for long. -
religion is BS. ironically what the priest says later on (that it was for wealth and land) is all true.
tally up ALL the innocent lives claimed in the name of Islam, or in the name of Christianity, and despite popular belief, i bet you its pretty close if not dead even by now. Back when the Muslims had all the money/land/power, they weren't committing as many atrocities (consider Saladin as a sort of Muslim Democrat Liberal-type). The Christians, who were quite poor in comparison (no Rennaisance yet), not coincidentally, killed a shitload of people.
Fast forward...now the West has all the goods, and has the luxury of being able to be 'civilised', but for poor people in the 3rd world, its life or death and they've gone nuts and are gonna jihad us until they get some. now its the Muslim equivalent of Guy de Lusignan (Osama) starting fights just to provoke wars for the hell of it and the Western equivalent of Saladin (ok i dunno any one guy, group all the late 20th century western leaders together) who can afford to be all 'noble' and crap.
and on a side note, no, islam is really about peace. just like all the other religions are. or at least its supposed to be, and was dictated that way by mohammed. i say that after reading the koran and his biography...why the fuck would people everywhere convert to a religion to kill people? if you start believing things down that road, you're beyond help. religion is just used as an excuse to excerise our human nature in being retards. like race.
i bet you there's some militant buddhist monks somewhere. -
you think Jesus would have approved? i heard that during the last supper, the Man was considering a "fuck thee all" attitude and almost grabbed up a few holy hand grenades in order to lay some roman motherfuckers to rest, but judas, dick head that he was, argued against it- but i don`t buy it. jossisgod IS SHITE,
Amen -
you didn't read your high school history textbook chapter about how the europeans colonized it after conquering the indigenous muslim population, and converted a lot of them to a different conflicting creed? wasn't there a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme in it about this? how many innocent muslims you think died? probably as many as sudanese being killed today. not unlike how the christian byzantines, and later muslim turks royally fucked up the balkans...
there's been atrocities EVERYWHERE throughout human history. (here's one nobody disagrees on...the native american situation here) we need to fix it. and i think its just not possible cuz there's too many of us now. -
I'm a PhD student in Medieval Studies at boston University. If you are a modern historian, you can pretty much take any side you want; all the historical sources are biased in one way or another---Steven Runciman considers the Crusades the last of the barbarian invasions, while more recent righ wing schoalrs disagree. Whatever. No one was there, no one really knows about exact actions, motivations, etc. All we know is that a shitload of people got killed at that neither side acted particularly honorably.
oh, and the Crusader sack of Jersulaem was some sick shit, by all accounts. -
liam neason (spl?) has a believable build for that kind of role, but mr. bloom doesn`t have the muscles one gets from swinging a big sword in battle. is he good looking?- apparently so if you take into account the incredible ammount of ass thrown in his direction. does he look like a bad ass, sword wielding soldier who hands out beat-downs for his savior?- absolutely not. but, once again it`s the old story of one rule for hardened medieval soldiers and another entirely different rule for hollywood stars.
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I just saw the movie tonight...I'd have to agree with Quint about the pacing, but overall It was a great movie with a great message....those who really believe in God should just see what he wanted and that is for us to be good men and women...he did not intend for us to follow corrupt religions that ruled society at the time of KINGDOM OF HEAVEN and corrupt religions that rule society today....ON THAT NOTE HOWEVER...i was sitting through the movie..and i was like...WHAT THE FUCK!!!!....TWO MUSIC QUEs were TEMP TRACKS!!!!!!!...the first was from frickin HANNIBAL...its the opera scene...i think the track is called Vido Core Delum or something to that effect....and the 2nd was FROM THE CROW....i mean....what the hell is going on when a studio not only rips apart a master's film, but also releases a print...or maybe all the prints i dunno....with TWO TEMP TRACKS...fuck me... CAN ANYONE HELP ME OUT HERE....STUDIOS NEED TO REALIZE THAT GOOD REVIEWS WILL MORE LIKELY LEAD TO GREATER REVENUE FOR FILMS LIKE THIS...god..i cant take it!...but even so...as a film student...I still prefer hollywood films over artsy shit films that most film students like...dont get me wrong...i do enjoy a few...but my anger overwhelms when film students come up to me and tell me that everyone produced in hollywood is shit..fuck those film students.
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May 07, 2005 8:23:57 AM CDT
Hoping to see more of Orlando Bloom?? With any luck this will be
by orson
No amount of stubble and atmospheric lighting can disguise Orlando Bloom's incurable blandness. Thankfully, in this movie he is given a minimum of dialogue and is supported by real actors who take the focus off him and prevent him from sinking the film completely. Although people are correct in saying that this is essentially a dull movie, at least the realistic battle scenes demonstrate how poor the battles were in Lord Of The Rings.
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Ridley Scott is an amazingly overrated director. Tony Scott is equally bad.
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May 07, 2005 10:15:03 AM CDT
Only one question: is it entertaining? Enough to give up ten bu
by johnnytremaine
For all the pretentious talk about historical accuracy and religious politics, at the end of the day KOH is a mega-budget-war-epic-summer-wanna be-blockbuster. On that basis, is it any fun? From what I've read so far, I'm reminded of what the great philosopher Homer Simpson once said: Booooo-riiing! Does it have a dog with shifty eyes?
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Friday night, I had a date with hot chick. While you were home pulling your pud, listening to NPR.
You have a thesis now? When can I lookfoward to it being published? And I don't mean that "lulu press" shit.
In the Sudan, the Arab Muslims are killing black Muslims, so that would be a case a racist hate.
You see, the Muslims are so bad, that if you aren't even the right "flavor" of Islam, you are an infidel.
Note the Muslim on Muslim violence in Iraq and Pakistan, and the Iraq/Iran war.
That would be like Methodists bombing a Lutheran church.
Notice the delight the rabid monkey muslims take open hearing the news of innocent people getting killed.
They jump around, smile, laugh, and hand out candy like they won 73 non-smelly, uni-brow virgins.
See how they mutilate bodies and drag them around, much like the Discover Channel special I saw on the violent nature of chimps.
There is a new kid in town, and Blassy's his name. Stomping of the heads of geeks is his game.
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May 07, 2005 11:57:57 AM CDT
I find it funny that there's a moral relativist here arguing aga
by johnno
Way to be morally relative!
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May 07, 2005 12:18:28 PM CDT
Not getting into the fray, but seriously, Johnno is right. Psal
by oompa_radar
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May 07, 2005 12:25:42 PM CDT
Screw it, I'll get into the fray. There are ways to be extremel
by oompa_radar
Fantatical secularism, environmentalism, liberalism, libertarianism, conservatism, racism, humanism. Anyone who is preoccupied, spends much mental energy on, is not open minded about something---these are all relgious behaviors. I know many smart people and they've all got religion. None of them go to church. But they have areas where they are morally absolute (see above). I know people who spend so much time hating religion they sound just like fundies. That said, I can safely say that Kingdom of Heaven IS a religious movie. Ridley Scott clearly suffers from his own zealotry, as do we all in one area or another. And when it comes to sympathy with a "peaceful" faith that has sworn to exterminate myself and my innocent children because I happened to have been eeked out into this world by a mother who is jewish, I'll pass, thanks.
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I saw Kingdom of Heaven last night, my Mother's Day present from my daughter, and I liked it. I'm actually going to see it again next week with the hubby. My main problem with the movie is that the editing was a bit off; some of it did not flow properly. Case in point; Guy and Reynald's heads were decapitated and stuck on sticks as a result of the murder of the sister of Saladin, but then in the battle sequence at Jerusalem Guy is buck naked on the back of an ass with a dunce cap on his head.
I loved the supporting cast; sometimes I think these present day epics should be made so we can see great talents that we would not normally see, i.e. Eva Green, Alexander Siddig, Ghassan Massoud. These three actors made this movie quite memorable for me. The cinematography was beautiful; the battle scenes were elegant and brutal. It might not be Gladiator caliber, but it made Troy look like my three-year-old niece directed Troy.
Regarding Orlando Bloom, I know, I know... stop with the period pieces and stop being a blacksmith. But darn it, this is the first time I like Orlando in a movie. It's the first time I really saw him act and it's the first time I thought he was actually kind of handsome (keep the 20 pounds on Orlando!). But to make all of you Orlando fans happy he is in Elizabethtown (not a period piece that is coming out this year) and Paris, je t'aime (a French movie that intertwines these little stories that encompass why Paris is the city of Love).
After watching this movie, I do see that Ridley Scott loves to make movies where there is a conflict between ideals. The Muslims are not maligned in this film (actually, if you are not intellectually closed-minded you will actually respect them and if you are like me who took 12 years of religion and understand why they are tied to that land you will not try to debate why they wanted Jerusalem again), they are equal to the Christians in the fervor to keep this piece of land and in strength.
All in all, I would recommend this movie I would give it 3 thumbs up.
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wow. good thing you`re only jokingly shoving all muslims into that "crazy, suicide bomb-loving extremist" catergory, otherwise you`d sound like a complete hate-monger! well done! your ironic twist of humor only serves to enlighten us civilized christian folk (who, as everyone knows, never act the same way those zaney muslims do).
why don`t you and psalmolive kiss and make up because calling eachother names- especially "pussy", GOD! i love that one, like you`re standing face to face or something, ready to "get it on"!- on a message board ain`t impressing anyone. -
What the bloody fuck is this bullshit? Someone has stolen my identity. Uses my name but removes the space between the words? Fucking asshole!!! It pisses me of even more that I agree with much of what he/she said. ARRRGGHHHHH!!! IDENTITY THIEF!!!! CURSE YOU!!!!! Here's a real Hairy Nutsack rant for you- Allah is a baby murdering asshole and Mohammed was a sheep fucker! There ya go, now you've gotten the truth from the real deal. Go pick a new name you goddam imposter.
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Listen up Geek, the difference between Christianity and is Islam today is very simple. One has tried to update is itself (and struggle internally to meet the changes), the other has not (islam). SIMPLE ILLUSTRATION: Recall when "Last Temptation of Christ" came out? A lot of traditional Christians were offended by it. Yeah they protested, but that was it. And Marty went to direct many more films. Now imagine a film that showed such a controversial retelling of the story of Mohammed? How long before the director would be killed (Theo Van Gogh ring a bell)? How many theater would be blown up? The government of Niger tried to have a beauty pageant to help bring some money to their country. The guy running the show said "Mohammed would approve of it". Any you know what happened? A bunch a nasty letters written to the local newspaper? A protest march? Nope, a week long frenzy of destruction, looting and MURDER. Class is now....DISMISSED! Geeks, can't live with, can't kill them all.
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Overall though great to look at If ound myself nearly dozing off during this film. I cant imagine why Fox let Orlando Carry this movie because he is just so lightweight.
The best actor in this movie was Ed Norton and you didnt know he was in this movie did. We he is and all I can say is WOW. He doesnt sound like Ed and it doesnt look him but it is because if you go to imdb and type the name of the film in and Ed's name appears in the credit list. -
There only needs to be 2 commandments, and the first 1 is "Thou shall keep thy religion to thyself."
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now go kick in some skulls, tough guy!
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Can you imagine if Christian terrorists were going around blowing up buildings and killing schoolchildren what the reaction would be from those on this site that defend Islam as a religion of peace? I am so sick of you fucking self hating douchebags who will always stick up for those that seek to kill innocent people. You will always take the side of the enemy, you will always take the side of those that seek to do harm to the United States, and you will always defend scumbags who say America deserved 9-11 and the people in the Twin Towers deserved to die. All you Islamofascist apologists should have a loaded shotgun stuck up your ass just so we can see how full of shit you are when we pull the trigger. STOP DEFENDING THE ENEMIES OF AMERICA!!! THE ISLAMOFASCISTS WANT TO KILL YOU TOO, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO SUCK THEIR COCK AND SAY HOW YOU UNDERSTAND THEIR RAGE!!! Buy a fucking clue!!!
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always black and white for your typical fascists. no in between, nope, not in their overly-simplified view of the world. "what! you don`t think that all muslims deserve to die? well fuck you, you pinko, liberal faggot! you must be against us! die, die, die!"
sad little boys who don`t understand a thing. YOU go buy the clue that`ll finally let you get it through your shit-filled heads that the "islamofascists" are an extreme minority, just like YOU ultra-militaristic, hate-filled christian assholes. all you zealots- christian, muslim, jewish, whatever- can take your so-called religions and fuck off to the moon so that the rest of us can live in relative peace. life is hard and violent enough without all of the fuck-wit extremists trying to twist reality into their own narrow-minded view of the world. "what would jesus do" my ass. -
simply refer to them as "HOMO-SEKSHULS". i.e. `up to his THUNDERBALLS in CLASSYFRED`s blASSy`... now to sit back and wait for the rant...
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If there are any Christians as extreme as some Muslims, then I guess we can expect to see Ridley Scott dead on a Hollywood street with a dagger in his back with a note written in latin, right?
God hates organized religion. -
Actually Jews never killed to convert, Jews never believed in conversion. However they did commit their share of atrocity. Caananites anyone?
Christians are silly and greedy but mostly harmless.
Islam does advocate murder. No real student of the Koran can say otherwise. -
To begin, Muslims historically are not "war-oriented", etc. It must be noted that if Muslims were as as anti-Christian and other groups (ex. Hindus), why are there Christians in Spain and Hindus in India today. As a matter of fact, Spain is a predominantly Christian country and India's vast majority is Hindu. Muslims ruled Spain for 600 years and India for over 400 years...if they wanted to "wipe" these groups out...they could have...and neither nation would likely have the majority populations they have today...Unfortunately, the Islamic intellectual heritage has fallen into ruin, so many Muslims today do not live according to the true tenants of the faith (interesting to note, libraries and libraries of texts by religious scholars in Islamic history are still not translated into languages other than English...these works must find the light of day...for Muslims to return to the roots of Islam)...but I digress...
Two balanced histories of Muhammad are Muhammad: His Life Based on the Earliest Sources by Martin Lings and Muhammad by Yahiya Emerick...highly recommended reading. -
I meant to write that these historical texts have not been translated into English...they are presently in their original languages: Arabic, Urdu, or Farsi
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Most popular and admired world leader to Christians was Pope John Paul.
68% percent of people from Muslim countries voted OSMA BEND-OVER their favorite "World Leader".Now, let's compare and contrast the speeches of the two. You know were Blassy will be found, stomping some geek's head in the ground. -
Islamofascists love moral relativists like Librarian, cause he equates their mass murder with people like me and ClassyFredBlassy using words to defend America. Way to go there Librarian, I too equate murdering schoolchildren with writing on some message board. Why, my extremist views may be even more dangerous than a suicide bomber!!! Take your bullshit communist views and move to Afghanistan, go tell all the terrorists how you understand them, we'll see how long it takes them to cut your fucking small brained head off. Try saying something of value instead of spreading your rhetoric of hate. I understand the bishop made you suck his dick when you were a kid, but that doesn't mean you have to hate all Christians. Free yourself of all this hate you have inside you. Why do you have nothing but hate and rage in your heart? And remember, Muslims hate you with a passion, and want to see you dead just as much as they want to see me dead. I know that is hard for a shitbag like you to understand, but try.
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May 08, 2005 7:53:01 PM CDT
Nutshell: Look no further than how Islam treats women. Please,
by oompa_radar
When a woman can be stoned to death for adultery, or god forbid if she's raped and refuses to kill herself, a loving member of her family will do it for her to protect THEIR honor. I lived in Saudi Arabia. My father worked for Northrop--the western corporation who built all the highways and roads there. (Gee, why hadn't they already done it themselves??) I saw the culture in action. I must insist that those who praise such things go experience them for themselves. Hmmmm...ya think we can send Paris Hilton over there?
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Dude, if you use facts, you'll just confuse all the Christian/America haters here. They don't want to deal in facts, all they want to do is be indulged in their hate of America specifically and the Western World in general. Shame on you for using facts to support your argument. What's the fucking world coming to???
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