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SWEEPS: DAY NINE!! One of the Last Three Hours of STAR TREK Airs Tonight!! And Herc's SeenSTAR WARS III !!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
You’ll all want to watch tonight's "Enterprise" because 1) the genocidal Col. Green (will he be wearing the spacesuit?) is glimpsed and 2) it’s the first half of a two-parter, and the Reeves-Stevenses (“The Forge,” “Observer Effect”) wrote the second part airing next Friday.
8 p.m. Friday. UPN.
I’ve got space on the brain. “Star Trek” ends next week. The ten “Serenity” screenings are just finishing up as I write this, so Harry’s going to be flooded with a zillion reviews tonight.
And I just got back from “Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith.” Which I’m pretty sure I kinda loved. It’s so beautiful; the cityscapes, the landscapes, the spaceships, the effects, they all seem to flick off the screen before my eyes are done exploring them - which is precisely what these films' images should do. The pacing issues I’ve had with every “Star Wars” film since 1980 have evaporated. Yoda is almost as fun as he was in “Empire.” Mace Windu’s big exit is so thrilling you’ll swear you can almost smell those tasty Kahuna Burgers. Obi-Wan's antics are finally worthy of his rep. And – most importantly – “III” finally made me give a shit about Ani Skywalker!!
There are, at least to my eyes and ears, no bad moments this time around. None. It completely restores my faith in George Lucas as a filmmaker. I wish to Christ this was the first episode of the franchise, not the third. It would have served as a glorious start. And in a way, it does anyway.
I believe I need a good night’s sleep, so don’t hold me to this, but I believe this is how I now rank the “Star Wars” movies:
Episode IV : ****1/2
Episode V: *****
Episode VI: **1/2
Episode I: *1/2
Episode II: **
Episode III: ****
Seasony Star Trek Goodness:
Star Trek: Enterprise 1.x
Star Trek: Enterprise 2.x
Star Trek 1.x
Star Trek 2.x
Star Trek 3.x
Star Trek: The Next Generation 1.x
Star Trek: The Next Generation 2.x
Star Trek: The Next Generation 3.x
Star Trek: The Next Generation 4.x
Star Trek: The Next Generation 5.x
Star Trek: The Next Generation 6.x
Star Trek: The Next Generation 7.x
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 1.x
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 2.x
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 3.x
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 4.x
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 5.x
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 6.x
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 7.x
Star Trek: Voyager 1-7.x
Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cute cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!
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hahaha
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I hope Lincoln makes an apperance too! "Help me , Spock". "Now do Lincoln" "Help me, Kirk"
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so nearly did it
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got a chance to see a preview this sunday, my girl turned tickets down cos she wants to go back to her parents........divorced
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ROTS- not as good as Ep.4 or 5, but better than 1, 2 and 6. Ho-hum.
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Empire fans. Oy. They give me the gas like Burger King. At least Herc liked this film. Yay.
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... is where you'll find out more ... -
I can't take it. Everyone's seeing "Revenge of the Sith" already, and each review I read, just makes me that much more impatient. Right before your review, Herc, I read the "Variety" one, and it's just ON!! I cannot wait. I wanna write my own review. :)
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all of the tv spots with the new music coming out and such...will it kill the movie for some fans...the diehards...i saw the new tv spots and the music and the drama....i feel like watching them is taking away something
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yeah i hear ya...want some suprises left when i see the film yet everywhere i look new clips/scripts/spoilers wish i had seen it a month ago so that it would be more of a suprise. still manage to avoid some info.........although i've seen on some reviews that the film dont answer those questions anyway i.e how come vader doesnt recognise the droids!!!
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Is it true? Episode III is the real FOURTH STAR WARS movie? Because the first two prequels don't count-
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May 06, 2005 6:24:14 AM CDT
how do you rank like that, come on, i mean ATOC sucked way more
by the_dude_77
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To quote a certain Black Lectroid, "Need see Buckaroo!" And hey Herc, how about a DOCTOR WHO TB this weekend? You totally blew it with last week's "Dalek" episode, which was fantastic BTW, by not having one...
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Here's the REAL star ratings for the STAR WARS movies (on a 5 star scale).
1: **1/2
2: **
4: ****1/2
5: *****
6: ***1/2 -
No it doesn't.
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Christ, what is wrong with all of you? Herc rated the Star Wars movies in a different order than you would, and you say he is wrong? Go fuck yourselves. Or learn what the fuck an opinion is. Fucking douche bags. And Goatzinger, you deserve some special award for being an asshole. Christ, my dog pinches off stink loaf that has more wit and insight than you. Now, on topic. These last few episodes of Enterprise better be good. This show has been so spot on, it is a crime that it has been canceled.
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Fuck why didn't I think of that, Vader should have recognized the droids! I was lucky enough to see Sith at a "press" screening as well, but I think he's overscreening the film, too many people are seeing it and giving it an ok to great review. I thought it was the best of the three but George I
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No Comment!
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Now excuse me while I hold a candlelight vigil for the end of ENT.
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Actually, in the original trilogy, does Vader ever actually SEE the Droids? In A New Hope, he misses them on the blockade runner and never runs into them on the Death Star. In Empire, while they are all on Bespin at the same time, there's no indication that C-3P0 or R2, who look like any other protocol droid or astromech, ever run into Vader. In Jedi, they don't run into each other, either. Obviously, the droids see Vader fighting Kenobi on the Death Star, but he never sees them. The better question is, why doesn't Obi-Wan recognize them in A New Hope? There's not much reason to care, as he never owned either of them, so his throwaway line "I don't recall owning a droid" is enough. People tired of fanboy reviews should read Todd McCarthey's review in Variety. It's a rave. Not fanboyish at all. You can get their through drudgereport.
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He's saying what I wanna hear, but after bean let down so many times, you'll understand if I'm gunshy. And no, I'm not talking about being let down my the crapfests that were TPM and AOTC. I'm talking about the fact that Herc likes Buffy and Angel and Gilmore Girls. Careful with that trigger, buddy. Point that thing away from me.
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All other typos are purely intentional.
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Glad you liked the Sith though. Is it better than Serenity? You can tell me. Hey cutest, long time no see.
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May 06, 2005 10:46:42 AM CDT
Why all the hate for Return of the Jedi? Other than the Ewoks, i
by big bad clone
Don't try to say otherwise. Sure Empire was badass, but Jedi had all sorts of classic scenes and practically sprints around the first two prequels.
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I was in Boston last nite. I am a Whedon fan and I love the Firefly DVDs, but the atmosphere last nite was BIZARRE. Never in my life have I ever seen such a NERDFEST. I've never been to any conventions or anything (ahell no), so this was the biggest NerdPalooze I've ever witnessed. From the guy who lead the crowd in sing-alongs to songs from the show (the Jayne song and then the theme song) to the people who wet themselves every time an actor's name or face hit the screen, I was slightly embarrassed to be there. I love the show and all, but it's not the greatest thing ever and being referred to as a "Browncoat" makes me feel dirty. As for the movie...............................................................It was good. VERY Sci-fi, much more straight sci-fi than the show, and it had that B-movie feel that a lot of hardcore sci-fi has, which I frankly think might be better suited for television. I can not say how this movie will do with the general public, but I will be very surprised if it's a big mainstream hit. The fanboy Whedon cult will do their duty and see the movie multiple times, get it to 30/40 Mill I bet, but at best it prolly achieves cult status with the rest of the population. Whedon is a hell of a writer, but his dialogue can be a turn-off to a lot of people. There will be many that know nothing about Whedon or the show that may very well love this movie, but I bet a lot of people are turned off by the way the people talk and interact (Wash's line, something like "I am like the wind!" or something is a good example. That style can be a bit too much for many people...)............................................................
The movie was very dark, the central plot, mystery and ensuing revelation are satisfying - a lot of movies muck-up the big secret and inflate expectations only to puncture them with something obvious or insignificant. Not here. The Reavers are effective villains, as is the Operator, although he comes off as a bit TV-ish as well. I think part of that was the unoplished look of some scenes. And hell, the original Star Wars looked amatuerish as hell back in the day, so there is always the chance that people will embrace this. But I doubt it..................................................................................................................................... It's definitely quality, and sci-fi goons and Whedon goons will wet their pants. The tone is intense and scary at points, but not without laughs, the relationships are a bit rushed, some of the dramatic/touching moments are a touch cheesy. The violent moments certainly elevate this above TV material, but it can't entirely shed that feel. I'm very curious to see howthe public reacts, but these screenings are NO WAY to gauge the mainstream. This was a fanboyfest to the EXTREME. The response should be enough to push it to the theaters (not entirely convinced that execs are sold on that, as opposed to a straight-to-DVD release) and will proll help it be a modest, cult success. But I doubt this thin will be huge. What they SHOULD do is eliminate Whedon's name and connections to Buffy/Angel from the marketing. Lots of people are prejudiced against those shows, with their monsters and teenagers and superwomen. Market this to sci-fi and action goons. Every who knows Whedon's name already knows about this. To infiltrate the mainstream, sell it in a vacuum without that crap and they'll have a better shot at sneaking up on the mainstream. -
May 06, 2005 11:17:00 AM CDT
Jedi is all about balance. For all the good, there's plenty bad
by jamesurljonez
Sure, it starts with Luke being the bad-ass Jedi we knew he could be. Killing the Rancor, rescuing Han, masterminding the whole thing, it's like Mission: Impossible. The Peter Graves version, not the Tom Cruise & slo-mo doves version. But many of the aliens in Jabba's palace are horribly designed muppets, and Boba Fett dies the death of a true punk-ass bitch. Then we have an amazing speeder race on Endor between Leia and the Storm Troopers, but after that we're stuck with the ewoks. Of course, once the action shifts to the contest of wills between the Emperor, Darth and Luke, the attempt to destroy the second Death Star, and the ewoks vs. the empire, it definitely gets better. Still, you have Chewbacca
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I think Vader should have recognized the droids (if he ever saw them, which I can't remember) because .... I don't know .... he BUILT one of them? Has everyone forgot that strange little piece of the new trilogy? Apparently Anakin built him out of a kit or something, though, because there are an awful lot of Threepio looking droids out there.....
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...that Vader should at least have had a moment of "what the fudge?" during the whole carbon freezing sequence in Empire, when the pieces of Threepio are slung on Chewie's back. Vader's seen Threepio in pieces beforee, remember? As someone pointed out above, he built the fucker. And I don't know if Clone Wars is canon, but in that cartoon, Threepio makes a big shiny deal of his new golden paint job when he cock-blocks Ani in the alleyway with Padme. I once drove a hunter orange 1968 Volkswagen Beetle with rusted out floorboards and a sunroof that wouldn't close. It pretty much fell apart after three weeks (it was already 20 years old by the time I got it), but everytime I see a red or orange Beetle I have a vivid flashback to the time the hood flew open on the freeway and smashed the windshield. And I didn't even build that car. Of course, Vader's got a lot on his mind and, as the previous two prequels have shown us, the guy under the helmet isn't the brightest bulb on the tree...
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I laughed pretty hard at the people tring to find rationale explanations for why Vader did not recognize the Droids. Lucas does not give a shit about continuity in the Star Wars movies. He never has. Luke lusted after Leia in the Original 2 movies and then Lucas turned her into his sister for the 3rd. He has pulled these movies out of his ass every time with very little concern for what he has written before.
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Has anyone heard when the Star Wars TV show is coming out and when on the the Star Wars Timeline it will take place?
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The whole arguement about Vader and the droids is useless because of one line in Jedi. "That name no longer means anything to me." If the name Anakin Skywalker doesn't mean anything then why would any part of his life? Do you think he wanted Luke to join him because of a love for his son? No, he wanted Luke's power so he could overthrow the Emperor. I doubt making nice with a droid he created at nine years old was part of the big "Galactic rule plan." It's really sad how many complain about Lucas' disregard for the continuity when so-called examples can be explained with just a little common sense, but I guess "Lucas sucks" doesn't take much thought and anything else requires more effort than you neanderthals want to exert.
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May 06, 2005 1:56:12 PM CDT
"Yes we DO need to see Anakin as a little kid, to prove he start
by gislef_crow
If we all started out like that, we'd probably shoot ourselves. I'm sure I didn't say "Yippee" at any point in my life. ;)
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Beause it pretty much sucks. It's a great movie up until Luke kills the rancor. From then on, the only scenes worth watching involve Luke, Vader and Palpatine, and the assault on the Death Star. Of course, it is funny seeing Boba Fett get killed by a blind Han Solo. I don't give a shit what anybody says, the guy was a pussy. He didn't ever do anything even remotely cool and there's no reason for the love he gets. He's not badass, he's a fucking narc. I love hearing how he "captured Han and Leia." Um, no. All he did was call the cops on them. End of story...
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May 06, 2005 3:59:41 PM CDT
People hate ROTJ today, because they grew up and heard what adul
by orionsangels
but admit it. When you were a kid you loved it and Ewoks ruled! Bring that kid back, release the bitterness & cynicism. Let go of your anger, feel the force flowing through you.
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How does this so-called Supershadow guy over at supershadow.com get away with posting fake interviews that he claims to have had with George Lucas himself. As touchy is Lucasfilm is with everything Star Wars, you wouldn't think they'd allow some nut job to post what he claims are direct quotes from Lucas. Especially when in those quotes he refers to the original trilogy as "crap films" and calls Star Wars fans "sad losers." Does that even SOUND like something Lucas would say? And the nonsense about how Supershadow is really the driving creative force behind Episodes 1 - 3 (which come to think of it might explain a lot) and will be helming Episodes 7 - 9...you've got to be kidding me. It's almost parody.
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May 06, 2005 4:20:39 PM CDT
Jar Jar is something else all together. He was forcefully create
by orionsangels
Ewoks were created at a time when Lucas was even more clueless about fans. He was actually naive enough to think we'd like them, like we liked Jawas. With JarJar Lucas should have known better. There's really no excuse for JarJar.
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I agree with you about ROTJ. It was my favorite as a kid and the one I watched most. As I've grown older, I recognize that Empire is the masterpiece of the series, but for good old-fashioned fun, and a reminder of my childhood, ROTJ still kicks the most ass. Who didn't want an Ewok as a pet when they were a kid? Fuck the ROTJ haters!
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There are tons of SW talkbacks but this is the only ENTERPRISE talkback this week. Why don't you SW geeks hop on the first freighter to Dantooine and let us pure geeks discuss the allure of T'Pol's breastesses. Oh, yeah...Kirk's Enterprise could kick the ass of any Imperial Deathstar in the fleet. Save any troll comments, folks. I'm just having fun. ***HULLO MORTSLEAM!
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Unless you give * or less for anything else than SW.
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I find your lack of netiquette... disturbing. OH SNAP!
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but for the over-all package you can't beat Mirror Hoshi. Absolutely the hottest of all Star Trek women (although some of those DS9 Dabo Girls were a little bit of allright).
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May 06, 2005 6:31:59 PM CDT
"Kirk's Enterprise could kick the ass of any Imperial Deathstar
by voice o. reason
Yes, the Enterprise could beat the Death Star. Right.
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it's called STAR TREK:MORE TIME-SPACE ANOMALIES. in this series, the crew of YET ANOTHER Enterprise encounters countless variations on the time-space anomaly theme and their tragic consequences; all of which will be resolved in an 11th hour deus ex machina contrivance in which some variation of the "flux capacitor" is re-calibrated, thereby saving the day. also: expect more alien races whose only differientation from humans are several pieces of latex applied to the bridge of the nose, and a new superhot, large chested, though strangely cold and scientific female character to figure prominantly in ad campaigns, products, and highly distubing fan fictions.
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He told Lando he'd be taking Leia and the Wookie (with 3PO strapped to his back) with him when he got the fuck outta Bespin. Seriously, there's this LOOONNNGGG look between Leia and Vader just before Han gets frozen. Also, R2D2 sure the hell seemed to recognize Obi-Wan on Tatooine (but not Yoda on Dagobah).
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but I guess not. Anyway, that two-parter in the MU was really, really fun. Looking forward to the start of the two-part Enterprise finale tonight before the epilogue/franchise finale with its special guest stars. Actually, I'm looking forward to all three of those episodes.
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It's been a long time since I've seen Peter Weller in anything! Also I think it's interesting that the last hurtle for the earth to form the Federation of planets is ourselves. Lack of tolerance to diversity is a very timely subject. I applaud the fact that it's not just a shoot 'em up.
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Anyone remember that crazy ass argument from Lucas & Co.? That the battle between the Ewoks and the Empire was meant to parallel 'Nam, and "Jedi" was a vent for Lucas' frustration over not making "Apocalypse Now." What a load of crap. I never saw any Vietcong hitting themselves in the head with their M-16s.
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May 06, 2005 9:05:44 PM CDT
I kept expecting to see the word Chairface being cut into the mo
by kelvington
this is an OK episode, I still think they should have made Mirror Darkley as the last two episodes before the end. When they fired at the moon, and it only took about 1 second to get there I thought... cool a faster than light laser... Dr. Evil would be impressed, or maybe they will cut in the word Chairface into it or maybe make it look like a big pac-man. Only 88 minutes of new trek left, until they execute B&B.
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I don't remember them being that fat and old during the final season of TNG. Ah well, at least now we know it was just them playing around with historical records. I wonder why Blalock got so pissed over this...
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You know, I think if Enterprise had started out with episodes more like this one, actually dealing with the formation of the Federation while at the same time commenting indirectly on modern society, they might have had something. Well, that an a removal of half the cast or so. It's funny that with all the starving actors in the world, these were the best people they could come up with for a Star Trek show.
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Is the working title for the new Trek series. The Federation is in danger of invasion from large breasted Amazons wearing tight lycra. Apart from their latex cranial ridges and large, ponderous breasts, they could almost pass for human, but can easily be detected by anyone who appreciates good acting. The Enterprise DD must travel backwards in time to an alternate universe/timeline through a space/time anomaly in order to save the careers of B&B and stop the ratings from sliding even further by breeding a vast army of spotty know-nothing 14 year olds who will sit through 50 minutes of turgid non-story solely to see some big hooters. The Amazons can only be finally defeated via Vulcan sensual massage applied by legendary Vulcan T'Poon T'ang. Jeri Ryan is confirmed as a guest star in an early episode, possibly playing a plank of wood. She is quoted as saying "I feel it's time to really stretch myself as an actress".
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May 06, 2005 11:54:43 PM CDT
Enterprise "Paid the price for their lack of vision"...
by computerguy68
Just to tie the two together ;) Had this been the way Enterprise was from the get go it would have gotten the 7 year order
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I DON'T want any =)
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May 07, 2005 2:26:58 AM CDT
I didn't really like it as a kid either, Orionsangel
by pops freshemeyer
I was in sixth grade when I watched it and I didn't care about the ewoks. I wanted to see Han get rescued and Luke face Vader. The whole Endor thing just got in the way. Sure it was cool to see the "final" Star Wars film, but it was always somewhat disappointing. The only Endor scene worth watching is the speederbike chase...
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He gave him wine in a coke can and pulled a M.J. on him, and Anakin was so ashamed he blocked it and threepio from his memory!! THIS EXPLAINS WHY HE GOES ALL EVIL AND LOOKS ALL "COREY FELDMAN FROM DREAM A LITTLE DREAM" IN REVENGE OF THE SITH!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!
It all makes sense now!!!
Maybe C3PO can use the Chewbacca defense in the trial?
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Empire had no beginning or end, but since it was an homage to old serials that was okay. Still, you can trip giant walkers by tying their shoe laces together? Right. Still, the part where Johnny Cash says "Look, I AM your father." was cool. The Ewoks Movie sucked and not just because of the teddy bears created purely for commercial licensing reasons, and not because they blew up the deja vu at the end, but because everybody's ghost went to a party and waved bye-bye. There was one Star Wars movie and it was called Star Wars, not Epidose Four or A No Hope, just frickin' Star Wars. Greedo never shot first at anyone in his life and his name was not the epitome of subtlety either, but what do you expect from a movie with a loner named Solo, an princess named Lay me Orgasma and the only freaking fat guy in the whole movie named Porkins, who gets fried during the attack on the Def Star. This guy made a movie with NO non-caucasian characters and all the heroes running around wearing white robes, and all he can say is "oops"? and you worry about him raping your childhood? Phantom Jar-Jar was a lot funnier than people give it credit for, but I still don't know what the po'd racers were po'd about. By the way, that was the only episode of Dr. Who I ever saw, but it was pretty good. And I rather enjoyed tonight's Enterprise as well. Now how to they convince Ambassador Sarek to adopt the baby?
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May 07, 2005 7:49:28 AM CDT
I still cannot for the life of me figure out why Empire is alway
by cherub rock
As a kid ROTJ was usually the favourite, and on offdays I liked A New Hope just for being the original. Having rewatched as an adult, I can't understand why Empire is so loved -- it seems that people take it more seriously just cos it has a darker tone. The action sequences aren't more or less memorable than the other two films, and I always found the "To Be Continued" ending a little anticlimactic...i dunno, Jedi always seemed more fun, and the only one that was a completely self-contained movie was A New Hope.. Anyway, here's to hoping Revenge steers around our good friend George's long-lost ability to write dialogue or an interesting story. This one better be memorable...my faith-o-meter is nearly spent.
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Think of the most resonating things about STAR WARS, and you'll soon find you are talking about Empire. Vader is Luke's father. Yoda is the wise master who trains Luke. Han Solo and Leia are in love. "The Empire Strikes Back" is what STAR WARS is really remembered for. From Roger Ebert's review of "The Empire Strikes Back": "`The Empire Strikes Back' is the best of three Star Wars films, and the most thought-provoking. After the space opera cheerfulness of the original film, this one plunges into darkness and even despair, and surrenders more completely to the underlying mystery of the story. It is because of the emotions stirred in `Empire' that the entire series takes on a mythic quality that resonates back to the first and ahead to the third. This is the heart."
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Sorry for the off topic but word is out on the HBO message board that Carnivale has been cancelled by the brainless HBO powers that be.It will be announced this upcoming week.Gonna feel good when we cancel HBO after official word is out , Ill leech the stuff I normally watch.
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WHAT?!?
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They've already got plans in the works to syndicate Enterprise this fall even with only 98 episodes. I really enjoyed the first half of this 2 parter and it was great top see Weller again. True if they had been doing these type of episodes in the beginning they would have gone 7 years. Just to clarify the 2 parter is something written currently. The single episode ( billed now oddly enough as part of the 2 part series finale ) will be shown after next weeks regular episode is the one written by B & B last year when they thought they were going to be canceled. I'm willing to bet I like it better than what has been reported as I think a lot of what the cast has been saying is probably because it involves characters from other ST shows. Don't get me wrong. I'm kind of sad that B & B couldn't see what they were doing to Enterprise. I think maybe they wanted out of the ST thing. Maybe that's why this last episode isn't just goodbye to Enterprise it's goodbye to ST in general. Manny Coto should have been in charge from the beginning. I'll miss this show a lot now.
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Another crap episode of ENTERPRISE. This thing just can't die fast enough.
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i just saw the commercials for the enterprise finale. why are riker and troi wearing the old color uniforms and not the grey ones they've had since first contact? will their part of the story take place before that movie or something?
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During the " Pegasus " Episode " Paralles ".
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Just The Episode " The Pegasus ". It looks to be good.
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