Father Geek here... Here's a peek at the SITH Flick from one of our loyal Downunder readers. I'll be seeing it later today, and will let you know what I think soooon...

Hi Harry, Moriarty, Father Geek and Crusty old Quint!

Love the site, been reading since ’99. Long time fan, first time reviewer. I saw Return of the Sith today at New Zealand’s only advance media screening. Here’s my review…

So, I guess we’re all clear that Phantom Menace was a boring tripe-fest populated by bemused looking actors who clearly weren’t sure what they were supposed to be doing or who they were supposed to be reacting to. Jar Jar the Mentalist Muppet is either the crudest stereotype ever drawn or simply the most annoying character ever committed to film. Or both. Oh, and there were some well shoddy special effects. Just because you can suddenly use digital to sketch in some pretty planets and stuff… well, it doesn’t mean you should. Not when the technology is just out of beta-testing mode. And I won’t even mention the political wrangling of the senate, the republic and some mild disagreements involving a trade embargo and… what? Lost you have I? Oh. Ok. Sorry, we’ll move on.

Attack of the Clones. More grumpy actors. Or worse, not especially good actors. Much better effects but a general feeling that you were lost in the midst of a vaguely entertaining video game. Or perhaps you’d taken a trip to Willy Wonka’s factory and been given some Star Wars flavoured candyfloss… What’s that? I’ve lost you again? Do try and keep up.

Today I saw Return of the Sith.

It was an advance media screening and the only screening that will take place here in Auckland, New Zealand before the film opens. Security was tight and the audience was, well, mildly excited. The lights dimmed, the 20th Century Fox logo came up and the drum roll began. And into that yellow intro writing stuff that scrolls up the screen. The first word is “War!” Yes, with an exclamation mark! The audience clapped politely (this is New Zealand, we’re polite and humble, you know, like Peter Jackson). .

The good news is that Return of the Sith is much better than Phantom Menace. And quite a bit better than Clones. It’s also better than Return of the Jedi, but lets face it, most movies are. Ewoks? Bunch of randy little midgets. As other early reviews have said, Sith is a much darker film than Menace or Clones, and well, its darker than the original trilogy actually. No randy little midgets in this thing. It takes a while to get going, the first hour feels like a continuation from Clones, and frankly, I was starting to get bored. But about an hour into it, the Jedi’s finally click to Palpatine’s treachery and try to arrest him. Too late Sideshow Bob. Palpatine swiftly dispatches 3 Jedi’s and before you can say quack, he’s got that freaky electric blue lightening shit fair pissing out his fingers! It soon becomes very clear as to exactly why the Emperor is a shriveled old prune who hides under a robe.

After some mumbo jumbo about the number 66 the slaughter of the Jedi begins in earnest. Dark. Dark, dark, dark. And it gets darker. The, er, younglings (damn, that’s a bad name), as in the little kindergarten kid Jedi’s in training, well, those little midgets get slaughtered. By… well, you’ll see. Speaking of which, somewhat surprisingly I felt Hayden Christensen turned in the best performance of the movie. As he is slowly seduced by the dark side of the force, his performance is very believable. What’s not believable is the reason that he goes to the dark side in the first place. Sure, I get that he is emotional and in touch with his anger, but the reason he goes to the dark side is because of this dream he keeps having. Sorry. Didn’t buy it. This is quite a major failing, because well, the whole six films hang on this. And I’m afraid it all feels just a little too easy and a little too rushed. But that’s the fault of the script. Or maybe it’s because, as George keeps insisting, “these are fantasy films for children.” Oh well.

Plenty of the acting is bad, as is plenty of the dialogue. On the other hand, Yoda owns every scene he is in and General Grevious is a total mega-geek bad-ass with 4 lightsabers! There are Wookies! The Clone Troopers look just like Stormtroopers! There’s a crazy trippy girl called Wendy! She looks wound up! Lots of cool creatures and stuff everywhere! At one stage I swore I saw Beaker! But I didn’t.

I won’t go too much into the rest of the film. The bottom line is that it’s more of the same, except a little bit better and quite a bit darker. Not gonna change your life. However, in the bigger scheme of things, in a universe far, far away, if you will, the film is a resounding success. Simply because Lucas has pulled off quite the feat by elegantly linking this final film to the first Star Wars.

In that respect, Lucas has done a good job. There’s very nice symmetry towards the end of the film as Anakin and Padre met their separate destinies. Their fates are very different but symbolically they are the same. We see exactly why Vader needs to be in the suit. And we see him put into it. The first things that come out of Vader’s mouth aren’t especially convincing, but by then, I was so impressed with the way Lucas was intricately weaving the story into A New Hope that I can almost forgive it. Did I say intricate? Actually, some of it is blunt and clumsy. But what it comes down to is this. If you’re a Star Wars fan, you’ll be satisfied. At the film’s conclusion the sets, the backgrounds and the technology slowly regress until you suddenly become aware that you’re back in a special place. The year is 1977. And you’ve just been taken on the best ride of your life. In a galaxy, far, far away…

If you use this, please call me Pornstar, Midget-Wrangler.

Cheers!