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The SITH Downunder...
SPOILER ALERT !!
Father Geek here... Here's a peek at the SITH Flick from one of our loyal Downunder readers. I'll be seeing it later today, and will let you know what I think soooon...
Hi Harry, Moriarty, Father Geek and Crusty old Quint!
Love the site, been reading since ’99. Long time fan, first time reviewer. I saw Return of the Sith today at New Zealand’s only advance media screening. Here’s my review…
So, I guess we’re all clear that Phantom Menace was a boring tripe-fest populated by bemused looking actors who clearly weren’t sure what they were supposed to be doing or who they were supposed to be reacting to. Jar Jar the Mentalist Muppet is either the crudest stereotype ever drawn or simply the most annoying character ever committed to film. Or both. Oh, and there were some well shoddy special effects. Just because you can suddenly use digital to sketch in some pretty planets and stuff… well, it doesn’t mean you should. Not when the technology is just out of beta-testing mode. And I won’t even mention the political wrangling of the senate, the republic and some mild disagreements involving a trade embargo and… what? Lost you have I? Oh. Ok. Sorry, we’ll move on.
Attack of the Clones. More grumpy actors. Or worse, not especially good actors. Much better effects but a general feeling that you were lost in the midst of a vaguely entertaining video game. Or perhaps you’d taken a trip to Willy Wonka’s factory and been given some Star Wars flavoured candyfloss… What’s that? I’ve lost you again? Do try and keep up.
Today I saw Return of the Sith.
It was an advance media screening and the only screening that will take place here in Auckland, New Zealand before the film opens. Security was tight and the audience was, well, mildly excited. The lights dimmed, the 20th Century Fox logo came up and the drum roll began. And into that yellow intro writing stuff that scrolls up the screen. The first word is “War!” Yes, with an exclamation mark! The audience clapped politely (this is New Zealand, we’re polite and humble, you know, like Peter Jackson). .
The good news is that Return of the Sith is much better than Phantom Menace. And quite a bit better than Clones. It’s also better than Return of the Jedi, but lets face it, most movies are. Ewoks? Bunch of randy little midgets.
As other early reviews have said, Sith is a much darker film than Menace or Clones, and well, its darker than the original trilogy actually. No randy little midgets in this thing. It takes a while to get going, the first hour feels like a continuation from Clones, and frankly, I was starting to get bored. But about an hour into it, the Jedi’s finally click to Palpatine’s treachery and try to arrest him. Too late Sideshow Bob. Palpatine swiftly dispatches 3 Jedi’s and before you can say quack, he’s got that freaky electric blue lightening shit fair pissing out his fingers! It soon becomes very clear as to exactly why the Emperor is a shriveled old prune who hides under a robe.
After some mumbo jumbo about the number 66 the slaughter of the Jedi begins in earnest. Dark. Dark, dark, dark. And it gets darker. The, er, younglings (damn, that’s a bad name), as in the little kindergarten kid Jedi’s in training, well, those little midgets get slaughtered. By… well, you’ll see. Speaking of which, somewhat surprisingly I felt Hayden Christensen turned in the best performance of the movie. As he is slowly seduced by the dark side of the force, his performance is very believable. What’s not believable is the reason that he goes to the dark side in the first place. Sure, I get that he is emotional and in touch with his anger, but the reason he goes to the dark side is because of this dream he keeps having. Sorry. Didn’t buy it. This is quite a major failing, because well, the whole six films hang on this. And I’m afraid it all feels just a little too easy and a little too rushed. But that’s the fault of the script. Or maybe it’s because, as George keeps insisting, “these are fantasy films for children.” Oh well.
Plenty of the acting is bad, as is plenty of the dialogue. On the other hand, Yoda owns every scene he is in and General Grevious is a total mega-geek bad-ass with 4 lightsabers! There are Wookies! The Clone Troopers look just like Stormtroopers! There’s a crazy trippy girl called Wendy! She looks wound up! Lots of cool creatures and stuff everywhere! At one stage I swore I saw Beaker! But I didn’t.
I won’t go too much into the rest of the film. The bottom line is that it’s more of the same, except a little bit better and quite a bit darker. Not gonna change your life. However, in the bigger scheme of things, in a universe far, far away, if you will, the film is a resounding success. Simply because Lucas has pulled off quite the feat by elegantly linking this final film to the first Star Wars.
In that respect, Lucas has done a good job. There’s very nice symmetry towards the end of the film as Anakin and Padre met their separate destinies. Their fates are very different but symbolically they are the same. We see exactly why Vader needs to be in the suit. And we see him put into it. The first things that come out of Vader’s mouth aren’t especially convincing, but by then, I was so impressed with the way Lucas was intricately weaving the story into A New Hope that I can almost forgive it. Did I say intricate? Actually, some of it is blunt and clumsy. But what it comes down to is this. If you’re a Star Wars fan, you’ll be satisfied. At the film’s conclusion the sets, the backgrounds and the technology slowly regress until you suddenly become aware that you’re back in a special place. The year is 1977. And you’ve just been taken on the best ride of your life. In a galaxy, far, far away…
If you use this, please call me Pornstar, Midget-Wrangler.
Cheers!
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+ Expand All
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They were tenacious little buggers who kicked the Empire's ass! And they're so cute and cuddly. Come on, people, give them some love.
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word
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And that's not something that happens often.
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14 Days!
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"Grevious is a total badass". For fuck's sake.
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Should not this wee review be carrying a spolier alert..?
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I can't believe I'm number 7. Mom, will be so proud!
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May 05, 2005 12:11:55 PM CDT
Hey, how about putting ALL SPOILERS in invisio-text like REAL we
by inzodwetrust
Its getting out of hand. I have had a lot RUINED by this website.
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Why not show a little restraint and will-power?? Jesus Tap-dancing Christ. You haven't had ANYTHING ruined by this web-site. Your inability to control your own curiousity is what ruined the movie for you. You know that most reviews are going to give away some shit, unless it says up front "Spoiler-Free!" Besides, this review didn't even really state anything that wasn't already common knowledge amongst 93% of the fans.
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Grevious is TOTALLY badass.
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What I want to know is... how does Yoda look? In Episode 1, when he was a puppet, his face looked scrunched and he looked cross-eyed. You can argue that he was supposed to look younger, but he looked diseased. In AOTC, he looked like the puppet should have looked in TPM, but every time I see him, it pulls me out of the film because it's like I'm looking at a cartoon--especially his little grey hairs. He was not photo-realistic (I hate to say it again, but he was no Gollum). In fact, he was no Jar Jar either. I mean, Jar Jar, though a horrible character, looked a lot more realistic than Yoda. I just hope they got him to look right this time.
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Or was that the entire cast of Under the Rainbow in fur coats? I can't really recall. The 80s were a confusing time for me. I estimate this reviewer as being pretty credible. Even so obviously smitten by fanboy love as he is, he can't help but mention the glaring problems with the movie. I suspect this will be the best of the prequels and about on par with Jedi... most of which I try to forget when thinking about the OT. Oh, well. We'll always have Empire.
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I must have been exactly the right age when ROTJ came out, because I didn't mind the ewoks at all. Yeah, they were Mini-Me versions of Chewbacca, yet they built traps and weapons and attacked the Storm Troopers guerilla warfare style. Or tiny gorilla warfare style. Of course now I see that it's all a little silly. But at least Lucas is giving us the wookie battle craziness we always wanted.
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I saw the original "Star Wars" on opening day, 28 years ago at the Chinese Theater. At 12:30 this afternoon, at the Village Theater in Westwood, the circle will be complete. What a long, strange trip it's been...
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I have seen both TPM and AOTC and I of course will be ROTS. The phantom menace came out the same year as the Matrix and I dont believe in the scheme of things when lucas goes to the great cinema in the sky as will eventually happen(although lucas probably has already created hologram technology already therefore he wont be dead technically) that the matrix will not live up to the hype as the great sci trilogy of 21st century.
Lucas will regret hiring someone to co-write AOTC namely Jonathon Hales. Lucas needed someone like quentin Tarantino to secretly re-write the screenplays for Phantom and for attack as well.
For someone who was seemingly technically brillant the effects for phantom were the worst I ever seen especially when we meet the Gugan for the first time.
I will only partially defend Lucas on the Screenplay and for this reason: He needed to start somewhere in telling Anakins story.
That the screenplay turned out to be awful as it did well you can lay that one at the door of George himself. Hiring Jake Lloyd as a mistake as we all know but I think It would have been better to get Hayley Joel Osment to begin with and then they could have could elijah wood but who else would have carried off being a hobbit better than him.
The effects for Attack were much better but only just, From What I see of Sith i like very much.
But ultimately if you want to look at the better filmmaker, on June 29th Speilberg's version of War of the Worlds opens.
We shall see who the winner of the Spielbug/Lucas battle is but I have a feeling that come july 4 Spielberg will be a very happy man and then he will have to watch as fantastic creams his ass at the box office.
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what's that, episode 7?
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Mull this over...
Movies always seem to have a legion or two of short characters. Jawas, Ewoks, Munchkins, Oompa-Loompas, etc. But when was the last time you saw a massive life action group of actors. Wookiees are big fellas. Peter Mayhew's a big fella. From what I've heard, there are only eight actual tall actors playing wookiees, the rest is digital.
Maybe Lucas could never fill a forest with really tall actors. I guess there just isn't a market for the really big the way there is for the really small. -
May 05, 2005 12:46:42 PM CDT
"I guess there just isn't a market for the really big the way th
by johnnyfartpants
Depends on whether you're talking Ewocks or cocks.
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Thanks for the review, but this is bugging me. Re TPM -- from my copy of the hero of a thousand faces, by Joseph Campbell, page 13 (not even far to read) on the birth of the minotaur --
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Who is doing Yoda's voice now that Frank Oz is dead. You know a cool outtake would be Yoda and Kermit singing it isn't easy being green.
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Depends on your point of view, if you were an ewok all the movies seem to be about tall people.
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The character arc was not good enough to convince me of Annikans turn to the dark side--Obi should banged his mom or Padama then you would have puled me in---You all know what I mean
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... I am still not convinced!
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Kids identify with ewoks because they
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I skimmed most of this to avoid spoilers, but this reads like the first reasonable review of this thing yet. No "IT KICKS ASS!" hyperbole. Some honest-to-goodness restraint here, and some good comparisons to the way it stacks up next to the first two abominations. Not expecting anything incredible from Sith, but it at least seems clear that it bests the first two. Still not sold that it's better than Jedi. The older ones trump these newer ones in every way so far; the styles are too different. Original Trilogy: Understated movies with amateurish acting and dialogue hat comes off as quaint and charming in the context of the serial-style. New Trilogy: overstated videogames with style that emphasizes pitiful, wooden acting and clumsy dialogue.
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He looks alright for a dead guy. Wonder how he walks?
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Perhaps you're thinking of Jim Henson.
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"An entire legion of my bethst twoops awaits them...."
On another note, I always thought of the ewoks kind of like the Zulu's... They just completely overwhelmed the stormtrooper through shear numbers--cue offscreen where thousands were getting zapped by the stormtroops. The only way to justify their cuddliness in the grand scheme of things. -
i really hate to burst your bubble, ghkilgore, but frank oz is most definitely not dead
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somebody beat me to it
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May 05, 2005 1:13:43 PM CDT
Man this reviewer sounds like a fucking asshole from the first t
by lamerz
"What
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May 05, 2005 1:17:24 PM CDT
Ok, so far it's been good word about the film, but the dialogue
by screenplaywriter
Damn it, I was hoping George would reshoot those scenes or take care of it. I mean Hayden Christiansen is probably a good actor and he has the physical presence and look of a man pushed to the brink of evil, but his line delivery is poor and college-boyish.
Oh well...least the movie is getting 8/10 and 9/10 across other websites. So, hey if "ROTS" continues to get 9/10's or higher it quite possibly could be the savior of the prequel trilogy. Even, though I really have no beef with the prequel trilogy. I think it was essential and necessary to make, but I think more time could've been spent with the editing process ("AOTC") and screenwriting (some of the dialogue scenes) if these matters could've been taken care of and if Jar Jar could've been made into a Chewbacca-like character I think people would/would've appreciate the prequels more.
Just my two cents.
P.S. I've read the novelization and it is very good and what I like is "The Battle of Kashykk" is not involved in it which leaves some scenes to your imagination, along with Ki-Adi-Mundi's demise and several other Jedi demises.
This movie is really more of Palpatine, Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin's story. The rest are just shuffled about in and out. -
What a moron. And this one ... "that freaky electric blue lightening shit fair pissing out his fingers!" Nice try at being cool, but not pulling it off.
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Nice call. My fav lisp is," Oh I;m afwaid the defwector shield wiwwl be quite opawational when youw fweinds awwive."
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Jar Jar shouldn't be like Chewie. Chewie is a hero -- Jar Jar does not do one heroic thing in TPM and in AOTC calls on the emergancy powers for the Chancellor. He's in TPM too much, yes, but I don't think people get that he is actually meant to be a flawed character
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May 05, 2005 1:26:16 PM CDT
Gee Colonel - sounds like you have an axe to grind with the preq
by lamerz
"No 'IT KICKS ASS!' hyperbole." Really, so if someone really feels it kicks ass, then their review should be discounted right? Maybe you think this one is reasonable because the guy started the "review" with his credentials as a prequel hater. Are any reviews reasonable from people who liked Episode I and II, and also like three? Or are they just hyperbolic fanboys to you?
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Tis true. He does occasionally lapse into Darth Fudd.
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some folks have no sense of it. he`s trying to be funny with his review, not condescending, and whether you find it amusing or not, at least recognize this fact... and this review is not even close to the fawning, fan-boy shit i usually see on this site. as for getting the title wrong, how could he do this and still be a fan boy?... unless he is one of you winging little shits who always post things like, "First!", or "damn, this movie`s ruined! where was the spoiler alert!?", or "dude, try some spell check next time, bro!". harry must be getting payed a lot of money to put up with complete fucking tossers like yerselves. and i thought this review was funny and informative, so fuck off.
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May 05, 2005 1:37:27 PM CDT
FANBOYS dont call it "return of the sith" so sorry, he isn't a f
by d8cam
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"So, I guess we
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THAT THERE IS NOT QUI - GON IN DA MOVIE........now that sucks. Is that true?
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Believe me: Serenity is going to blow your socks off. And if you don't wear socks: it'll leave your feet sore and bleeding.
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will blow something alright
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When will the bashers learn that these two films are purposefully made in a particular style? The actors are emulating the sci-fi serials of classic cinema, with appropriately written dialogue. Oh, but they don't know anything about film history, do they? How many of them understand what an homage is?
And what's all this about the politics of the past two films being boring? That's the most intersting part in my opinion! It's so cool to see how one man slowly changes the politics of an entire galaxy to fit his own whim.
Come on! Don't criticise if you have no idea about what you're talking about. I've actually come to prefer the prequel trilogy, and I grew up on Star Wars. -
I have a friend that works at a hotel bar. Anyway...a bunch of critics were in town for a screening of the movie. They discussed the movie over drinks at the bar and most seemed to think SITH was on par with TPM.
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May 05, 2005 2:05:40 PM CDT
Yeah, Ewok bashing had grown old by the beginning of th 90's...
by slone13
Lest you moronic Ewok haters forget, out heroes almost died at the paws of the Ewoks. Their bodies would have been roasted and the Ewoks would have feasted on their human flesh for weeks. Now what's so cute about that?
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I have no desire to see this..
Looks like a damn video game. -
Will completely tank at the box office. Once all 50 geeks go and see it, it's gone. I give it 2 weeks in the theaters top then straight to the back of the shelves to collect dust. Believe it. Firefly sucked donkey balls and so will the movie. And getting back to the original point of this talkback, I will make up my own mind after I see this movie as to whether I like it or not. So all of you assholes who are gazing into your crystal balls and know for certain that it's going to suck, all I can say is fuck off and get a life. Anyone who has stated that it's gonna suck and continually rant are going to see it we all know it. Hypocrites.
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The vast majority of people who have seen TPM & AOTC know they are giant suck fests...
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who's a street walker in d.c. Anyway... a black limo pulled up and he got in. A big politician in hot water at the moment was there and buggered him senseless with a crucifix and sent him on his way. He said it was on par with a screwdriver, or a rusty tire iron
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May 05, 2005 2:15:24 PM CDT
"I give it 2 weeks in the theaters top then straight to the back
by iamlegolas
This could be said for just about every movie these days, regardless of it's quality, most likely due to the DVD coming out within 4-6 months of release. A lot of people would rather just wait. Less time and money wasted on renting a DVD.
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pretty much, only scrited better. And this is lucas we're talking about
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We all know Lucas has a hard on for the old movie serials. He tried to capture the same feel in the original trilogy and, to a certain extent, through his influence on the Indiana Jones movies. Both efforts were much more successful than the prequels thus far. Menace and Clones have zip in terms of characterization, that easily overlooked detail of good cinema that makes the viewer give a flying fuck about the people on the screen. And, because so much of the story is dependent on us believing these characters' emotions (except for the convoluted parts about intergalactic trade and politics, it's all about giving in to or letting go of your feelings, isn't it?), the overreaching story suffers as well. Stop making high-falutin' excuses in the hope that nobody will know better (I, for one, studied film for years in college and know shit when I see it) and join the rest of us in hoping George got one out of three right, you condescending twat. Oh... and the reason George went with itty bitty Ewoks instead of big tall Wookies in Jedi is because circus freaks are apparently paid by the pound in Hollywood.
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you could be less of a condescending twat. Many people could announce the letters at the end of their names for things they've studied but that would just show you up as a complete asshole
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"The vast majority of people who have seen TPM & AOTC know they are giant suck fests..." - and you know this through all of your extensive polling of America and the world, is that right, you fucking loser. Sorry everyone doesn't conform to your view, but there are actually a significant number of people that liked TPM and AOTC as evidenced by DVD sales. If everyone hated them, most of the millions of DVD purchasers would have to be complete fucking idiots to buy movies that they loathe. Grow up asshole. Open your mind. Realize some people think differently than you, fuck face.
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"This could be said for just about every movie these days, regardless of it's quality, most likely due to the DVD coming out within 4-6 months of release. A lot of people would rather just wait. Less time and money wasted on renting a DVD." Ain't that the truth. Great fucking point.
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if you prefer your way, but remember, anakin has already been named Darth Vader, so Palps wouldn't call him Anakin, so when Vader says 'My name is Darth Vader' Palps would say 'Eh, yes, I know'
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if you make fun of people when they're not there, insted of to their face like someone who has a sack, you're the tool
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Isn't the apprentice named by the master Sith? I assumed Darth Vader got his name from Sidius who would have been named by his master and so on? But then I may be mistaken and perhaps they choose their own name.
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May 05, 2005 2:32:36 PM CDT
Roger Ebert and Robert Rodriguez loved The Phantom Menace...
by sith witch
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$800 domestic and who knows how much more. Amazing how many people can be wrong -- hey, waitaminute, maybe there's another reason. Couldn't be because they liked the movie, could it? Could that really be possible? Oh no, my fanboy world is falling appart
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when Anakin sincerely tells Natalie Portman that he likes her more than sand. that is, by far, the most ridiculously bad "romantick" dialouge in any film EVER. regardless of how much the prequels have sucked ass so far, i still have hope this one can pull it through. heres to hoping ROTS rules. cheers and may the force be with all y'all.
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I knew some of you jack offs would be in here..Strike a nerve did it??
Oh well--I'll stick to my opinion (TPM & AOTC are suck fests) and you can go watch re-watch those POS video game movies. -
...just what the hell are you posting about? It would help if you actually addressed the people you appear to be trying to insult by name. I will assume your post after mine was some sort of dig on me for knocking 0007 off his high horse (since you aped my "condescending twat" remark). But if you were accusing me of trying to weight my opinion relative to others due to my education, you misread my post or simply missed the point (no doubt in your haste to type what you thought was a witty rejoinder). My point was that 0007 was arguing from just such a position of assumed superiority, as if no one else reading knew anything about movies. Seems to me this is a foolish site to make such assumption on, which is why I pointed out that film was one of my areas of study... as I'm sure it was for many others. It was merely one example of why his argument was complete bluster and bullshit... very much like your quick little quip. NOW it's okay for you to feel a little smarter, since you know more than you did before reading this.
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SPOILERS HERE, move on if you must...ok, so this reviewer, and others, have talked abotu not being pleased with Anakin's turn because he fears having Padme die based on dreams he's had. Uh, duh, did you WATCH any of the last film? He dreamed his mother was being hurt and dying, he's not allowed to do anything, finally he gets to her, but too late, she dies in his arms. he FREAKS. Then, he falls in love. And guess what, more dreams. Of course, he's gonna FREAK again and this time he won't make the same mistake he did by waiting too long with his mother. This time he acts...and falls to the dark side. Good shit to me.
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but that's not pointed at anyone in particular. 0007 he likes what he likes, he's probably deluded, but knocking someone off their high horse by trying to mount your leaves you in a precarious position. Oh, okay, I mean childe roland
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I have seen Attack of the Clones, what? 50 times already. maybe 10 minutes of it is not great, but the rest is spectacular. why does evryone dump on this film? other films (spiderman2, lotr) are given an easy ride , why this constant assault on ep2? and this assumption that everyone has that it was obviously terrible. the chase through curuscant, the last 40 min, the battle at the end, all awesome. when it came out people raved, then about a month later the onslaught began. i really think there is a mindset in popular culture that wants to destroy something once it becomes popular.
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no apology needed, she hardly noticed
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grow up much?
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Return of the Sith? You are a joke, man!
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but you're right, that's besides the point. Of course it would be even better with improved acting and dialouge, but that's not the point you originally made. You just gave us a scene you wrote yourself, which you think is better, okay, suit yourself. If that was what you intended your point to be, then point taken
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they buy them because they're supposed to like SW, right? yes, people buy movies they loathe (for more on this see Harry's review of House of Wax, where he states that he'll probably buy the DVD). it's no secret that people accept mediocrity in order to keep their mind off of troubling things. you know, things like what you can do with the time you would have if you weren't being pitched products every second of everyday everywhere you go. never forget-- take the average guy....half the population is dumber than him.
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that a slave would try to assert their individuality in being a person and not an owned object. But it would be cool if he said
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...because he seems to live in this talkback, had I made a more general statement (like yours about my motives or 0007's about the relative intelligence of everyone who doesn't appreciate the prequels), assuming that everyone on the board had enough movie knowledge to recognize a successful or failed homage to old action cinema serials, wouldn't I have been guilty of talking out of my ass? I used myself as an example because I know for certain what I do and don't possess knowledge of. And the way I positioned it was as an example, implying there were doubtless others who also had enough sense to tell what works cinematically and what doesn't. I think that's a far more effective platform for proving a point than the sort of esoteric equations and generalizations 0007 and you have been spouting in here. But, since you apparently just like to read your own posts as frequently as possible and merely skim others so as not to slow down your response time, I'll just let you get back to that... and your ongoing crusade to be the most useless tool in the toolbox. Cheers.
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Look, Anakin was at that point in time a 20-year-old virgin living an almost monk-like way of life. What the fuck kind of "game" would you expect from a clueless dweeb like that? He's not Barry fucking White. Still, I'm sure the "sand" line was a hell of a lot cooler than the pick-up lines most of you bitches used on your first crushes. Unless you're still waiting for that first date, of course.
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When is Lucas going to release the Special Editions of Episode 1 & 2 where he removes the stupid-ass characters and shitty directing?
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And I'm glad childe roland took time and an expanse of hot air to think of all the big words he could so he could feel as self-satisfied as he does about his extensive educational prowess in relation to the narrative structures and cinematographic presentations of... Oh drat, now I
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Faster! That's just how I like it! Now be sure to tongue-wash my ballsack thoroughly before climbing down off my cock. Face it... you tried to be a clever little quip artist and instead made yourself look like an ignorant ass. But you sure are speedy. That's got to count for something, right?
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Ee-Chop Yub nub!
SPOILER: Young Lando and young Admrial Akbar go skinny dipping in the imperial pond. "It's a trap!" yells young Akbar as The Stormtrooper Babies -
Adm-I-R-al Akbar. Sorry.
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May 05, 2005 3:44:13 PM CDT
You people need to stop defending the "sand" line. It's atrocio
by barry egan
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May 05, 2005 3:45:15 PM CDT
So is the Yoda/Qui-Gon scene definitely OUT of the finished film
by togmeister
Can't seem to get an answer on that one.
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I might have to hand back my biggest tool award. 0007 likes what he likes, but you
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May 05, 2005 3:50:56 PM CDT
Across america...comic book guys are crying because of what Nosf
by kurganrules
Somehow...I betcha Natalie Portman would fall for Hayden spouting "sand" than a typical Simpsons' Comic Book Guy/AICN Talkbacker doing Shakespeare...but that's just my guess..
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...I swear, I'm going to start calling you "safety scissors" or just "special ed" from now on. Go back and look at the post you first jumped on like a frisbee catching dog chasing a hubcap. My education was referenced parenthetically in an effort to get 0007 to recognize that he has no way of knowing what anyone else on the board may or may not know about movie history. You latched onto that one line and crafted an elaborate fantasy about the way I view myself relative to everyone else on the board when, in reality, I used the statement to poke a hole in that same stance as adopted by someone else. Either you can't read or you just don't want to look like you typed before thinking the first time. It really doesn't matter as I've nothing to prove to you and you've clearly nothing interesting to say of your own. But keep typing, anyway. Your attempts to shape reality to your perceptions amuse me.
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My point was you called someone else a condescending twat right after being one. I have no problem with your basic argument. It
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May 05, 2005 4:07:46 PM CDT
Yeahm bashing the dialogue in teh SW movies got old about 10 yea
by slone13
...Lest we forget all the truly horrible lines uttered by Ford, Fisher and Hammil in the original trilogy? What morons have EVER gone to a SW movie for the dialogue? You want pseudo-cool wanna-be-hip dialogue? Watch a Tarantino movie.
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...but I tend to think your perception of my parenthetical comment was colored by the fact that you disagree with my opinion of the prequels. Either way, you jumped into an argument I was making against someone else and, in an effort to make yourself look smart and funny, took a statement completely out of context in the hope that I wouldn't call you on it. Anyone following the argument can see you missed the point and made an ass of yourself. But if that's what gets you off, more power to you.
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...I'll remind you that arguing on the internet in these talkback forums is exactly like the special olympics. Even if you "win" you're still retarded. Let's all just hope that Lucas got it right.
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see that I made my point, and then had to do it a couple of more times, which is, I admit, quite boring.
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Yes, the sand comment was a reference to Tatooine. We all get it. Yes, Jar Jar Binks is a 'Fool' archetype. We all get it. Blah blah blah, so the hell what? The prequel plots and themes are so absurdly simplistic and tedious it's like CSPAN and the Hallmark Channel got together and spawned a Nickelodeon channel for retards. That "sand" line is so bad I saw people on espn.com ragging on it a few weeks ago in the middle of a baseball discussion. Nothing crosses all demographic boundaries like the shitty prequel films. Face it, The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones weren't good movies. Folks (myself included) expected quality from Star Wars and they didn't get it. This is inherent in all the Revenge of the Sith marketing, which has basically been (as usual) "THIS is the one you've been waiting for, we swear." Why do you think every commercial running now has all the original characters in it? Huh, for some reason people don't want Hayden Christensen or Jar Jar or some other hideous CGI creation hawking their wares: because nobody cares. The only way ROTS will succeed is the degree to which it successfully mates back up at the end with the original films people actually care about. And this is Lucas's damn fault for having no idea how to tell a backstory and maintain continuity, and then trying to cover it all up with CGI and desperate references to the originals. I'm just the messenger.
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May 05, 2005 4:34:09 PM CDT
I think it's great that in AOTC, Lucas has Jar-Jar (as senator p
by hanfiredfirst
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May 05, 2005 4:36:26 PM CDT
It was an advance media screening and the only screening that wi
by hamo455
Bullshit, there's a premiere three days before the film officially opens.
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...if they ate the same mushrooms you did. Which side makes you funny, again? You need more of that.
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I will never trust someone's review who has that many grammar mistakes. For god sakes he called it "Return of the Sith." That's unforgiveable. And for the record, I liked Jar Jar, Ewoks, and digital Yoda is awesome, even though the puppet in 5/6 was awesome too.
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May 05, 2005 4:39:56 PM CDT
I keep hearing how incredible this Jedi Purge scene is...It supp
by orionsangels
Hot dang i'm excited!!!
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To me it was the coolest scene in da' movie, and i don't think it was a good move to cut him. The strange thing about this is that USA today said on it's article that he was going to be in the movie......very strange indeed.
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I'm calling plant on this shit. It's really easy to tell the real reviews from the plants, there are 2 main flags that give it away; 1. forced, over the top irreverance, choked out hipness reminiscent of Poochie the Rockin' Dog. 2. Purposely misspelled or mistaken words. There is no fucking way this guy didn't know the name of the film was Revenge of the Sith, not 'return'. My fucking mother knows it's called 'revenge of the sith' and she doesn't even like Star Wars. Like in a previous review, Life Savors? Christ. I bet both this review and that one were both written by the same idiot. Some advice to all planters, simply put, if you know enough about Star Wars to know what Order 66 and Younglings are, then by Christ you're obviously intimately familiar with the films, so don't try to pretend your knowlege of it is casual enough to fuck up the title or the word 'lightsaber'.
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Yup Aussies are strange.... also the eating of kangaroos make them jump.... so expect one of these days appears a large kangaroo tail on their asses.....
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Nosferatu Jones 2005-05-05 14:53:06
Name me one kid who wants/owns a cuddly Jar Jar stuffed animal. The Ewoks never bothered me when I was 11, and I'll never quite understand all the hate and venom spewed at these guys, and it was in keeping with Lucas' penchant for casting dwarves, so I'm sure they appreciated the job. Maybe the Ewoks' schtick was a little over-the-top in ROTJ, but look at their hijinks compared with Jar Jar in TPM. He makes the Ewoks look like the Marx Brothers, the Three Stooges and Abbott & Costello combined. Little kids will always love the Ewoks, so cut it out with your hipster-doofus, cynical fanboy contempt for them, just 'cause they ain't Wookies. THE EWOKS ARE FINE! LUB-NUB!!! -
Nosferatu Jones on 2005-05-05 14:53:06 said ...
Name me one kid who wants/owns a cuddly Jar Jar stuffed animal. The Ewoks never bothered me when I was 11, and I'll never quite understand all the hate and venom spewed at these guys, and it was in keeping with Lucas' penchant for casting dwarves, so I'm sure they appreciated the job. Maybe the Ewoks' schtick was a little over-the-top in ROTJ, but look at their hijinks compared with Jar Jar in TPM. He makes the Ewoks look like the Marx Brothers, the Three Stooges and Abbott & Costello combined. Little kids will always love the Ewoks, so cut it out with your hipster-doofus, cynical fanboy contempt for them, just 'cause they ain't Wookies. THE EWOKS ARE FINE! LUB-NUB!!! .......... Apparently you didn't realize that Jar Jar was emulating Buster Keaton in many scenes. Oddly, I've never heard or read anyone mention this before. -
..before me! Bastard! I would have got the spelling correct too! Anakin and Padre indeed.
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May 05, 2005 5:21:38 PM CDT
Lucas should have stayed out of the director's chair. And the wr
by performingmonkey
Imagine how good TPM COULD have been. It isn't the worst film ever, but it's STAR WARS for fuck's sake! It should have been one of the best movies ever made!! IMO AOTC was worse in many ways. Just about ALL the acting was pitiful. And the screenplay was nowhere. The dialogue is so so bad!! Fuck Lucas.
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Not as good as Empire or New Hope, but still pretty damn good. The subplot about destroying the shield generator bogged it down a little, but everything else in the movie was high quality.
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As I was trying to say. Revenge, return, it could be a result of over zealous typing, (notice I said could). Also, he might know enough about Star Wars to know what Order 66 and younglings are because HE SAW THE FREAKING MOVIES!!! Okay now that rant is over, let us address the dialogue issue. Star Wars has never been a shining bastion of meaningful, complex dialogue. I must admit I chuckled at the cheese factor of the "sand" line, however if you look at it as an intelligent person you would realize that 1.Anakin had very little if any contact with women. 2.His life was about protecting the republic not becoming a "playa". 3. What twenty year old inexperience young man wouldn't make an idiot out of himself trying to hit on a woman that was at least a few years older than him. Now I am not a delusional idiot. Episode I was hardly a masterpiece of cinema,"mesa an annoying waste of time that shoulda beena killed ina the first fiva minutes", but it was hardly Ishtar either. Episode II a much better effort, and I think Episode III will be nothing short of amazing. If you disagree with me fine, but in my opinion no movie is ever perfect, and even you don't like parts of it you can still enjoy it. There are parts of every Star Wars film that I did not really like, some more than others, but as I whole the saga was a fantastic story that I will always enjoy watching.
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MinasTirithII is a KIWI....... that explains why he's a pathetic Asshole....
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ON PHONE - "You must be so proud of me as I spend my life on talkback forums bashing Star Wars and the people who actually like the new movies. I am so cool mom!! See... I have... a purpose. I like to tell the people who like Star Wars that they're morons. That Lucas is a dick. I like to tell people "I fucked their dog or mom. Or Lucas raped my childhood". See I'm so funny... aren't I funny mom? I get so much attention here... I just love it love it love it. If I made my own movies... they would kick ass and be the best movies ever made mom. Cause I know how to make a movie and everyone else sucks balls. I'm an expert movie maker myself. See.. here's me watching girls from my window. And here's me jacking off in front of my computer. My willy is my best friend. And it feels so much bigger when I post get to mouth off how big it is. Huh? You mean the reason I'm fucked up is cause my self worth is shit? And I like to blame my unhappiness and personal problems on other people like George Lucas? That I spend more time pissing over a movie than making my life better? That instead of complaining, try and make my own movies? (weeping) You just don't understand mom. Lucas destroyed my life!! I can't let it go... I have to respond to every attack and put people in their place, cause I'm right and they're wrong. Fuck the war in Iraq. Fuck poverty or social security. Fuck crime or making our world a safer place. It's all about how I hate Star Wars and the millions of people who still like it. Oh... okay... see you at church on Sunday then."
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but I felt Phantom Menace was much better than Attack of the Clones. Clones had more crappy dialogue and was more of a special fx mess than Phantom.
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I've gone through this entire talkback and so far have yet to see any "MinasTirithII's" insane LOTR ramblings/rants, I'm shocked. I guess he had a brain haemorrage, that or so many endorphins flooded his nervous system through excessive masterbation from fantasising over gandalfs withered member that it rendered him comatose. Who can say?
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And I'm a pathetic asshole, so the jokes on YOU! Wait..
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I agree, hellboydan. I know some hardcore LOTR fans, but Minas was leaning a bit towards the medically insane category. And he's not even as funny as Coco Lopez.
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There are all kind of kiwi as well, don
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But who is the most dumbest???
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Well there's fans and then there's devout acolytes it seems. For those that enjoy cinema, good or bad I suggest looking up a movie called "Humanoid" featuring Richard Kiel (he of Jaws/Bond fame) thats got to be the worst rip-off of the StarWars universe you`ll ever see and the funniest. I wouldn't go so far to say it even pays homage, its just awful. Plus one of the villains who I suppose would be the equivalent of the Emperor looks exactly like Bob Hope.
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Great to hear from you again, man! How have you been since professing your undying love for Paris Hilton over in the House of Wax talkback (well, okay, maybe it was lust, but either way you've got some issues). Boy, do I wish I worked at a gas station! Those guys are making a killing these days! You lose... again. But you can keep your wad of cash. Thinking about what you had to do to "earn" it makes me kind of queasy.
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Thanks Pornstar, Midget-Wrangler. I thought your review was untainted and well-written, and I think you and I are on the same page regarding the first two prequels. The fact you mostly dug "Revenge of the Sith" gives me hope I won't hate it.
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May 05, 2005 6:08:20 PM CDT
"I dont believe in the scheme of things when lucas goes to the g
by krullboy
HA HA HA!!!!This is so laughably awful it is pathetic. Matrix Revolutions was a million times worse that TPM or AOTC. Where do I begin? Well, how about that whiny as fuck Kid that was running around screaming "Neo--I belive. Or the Baby Faced Zion thing that reminded me of the Wizard of OZ. . .or that annoying Indian girl trancing around in the grass with Seraph. . .or the S and M club scene that was a rip off of Blade. . .the list goes on and on.
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Anyone else notice that up until "Clerks," everyone loved Jedi, but after Dante(whining bitch)said he hated it, now that's become the prefered stance. For the record, and this is my opinion, Return of the Jedi is a great movie. Amazing space battle, decent but fun ground battle, Yoda dies(sad), Luke learns of his sister, we finaly see the Emperor(who is terrific and makes Vader pale in comparison as far as evil goes) Jabba's palace is everything the cantina was not, and Luke confronts his father. I love it.
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WHAT A PISS AS$ REVIEW. YOU SHOULD HANG FROM THE GALLOWS. STICK TO PICKIN' COTTON FROM YO GRAN MAMA'S GARDEN. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET YOUR JOB BACK AT CHICKEN CHASIN' FARM. ENOUGH SAID ON THIS LAMB PIECE OF $HIT.
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Well, first thing is that the characters aren't developed. We see a little of Luke's whininess in Anakin but we see none of Leia's verve or drive in either parent. The battle sequences and chase were...boring. CGI men running around while cgi ships and cgi lasers blow up isn't exciting. It's banal. Hell, the chase in The Fifth Element was more creative and exciting than Corsucant. And the entire love sublplot didn't work. I have said it before, they could have made a thrilling and fun love story had they put Anakin and Padme on the run with bounty hunters after them. We'd see Anakin as heroic, we'd get the tracy/hepburn patter, and we'd see why she digs this guy and how far he will go to protect her. In essence we'd get to know them better in loud and quiet times while their relationship would forshadow their daughter's behavior in TESB.
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Jealous?
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yes!
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I am with him that the first two were really good. And will stand the test of time better than the matrix, etc. Plus I think they have has many "cringe" moments as LOTR. But then again, what movie wouldn't if you went in wanting it to be some sort of revelation of god. The first trilogy has just as many. I really don't think all the haters have anything more to say than their opinion, so for those of us who enjoy the movies, all the better. Sorry for all you who are missing out. Peace.
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As someone said before, Anakin's a guy who's been sheltered up most of his adolescent life. He's been told to not think about love or relationships. The only women he meets are either his equally trained cold Jedi or people on his missions, where even if he was to give thought to pursuing, he'd be scolded by Obi-wan. Padme's the one woman aside from his mom who's not only been nice to him, but very warm and friendly. It imprinted on his young mind and left a lasting impression. Anakin's 'romance' in ATOC was darn near perfect I feel for someone in his shoes...heck, it mirrors the first two to four times I pursued a female. He's awkward, prone to professing his feelings too boldly, and is even a bit creepy. MY problem with the ATOC romance was Padme's response. Much like the first number of girls I tried to romance, she should've been been trying to get away from him, be amused by his attention and use it just for the flattery without ever returning anything, or at least taken a lot longer to come around (granted, Lucas had to rush it in a two hour movie). Granted, I don't look as good as Hayden, but looks aren't everything. Now, if Lucas had made it obvious Padme had some odd long term 'soul mate' feel for Anakin (originally, there was a scene where the charm Anakin made her was prominently displayed in her bedroom, but it was cut), it might've been more reasonable that she suddenly realizes that he's not just a soul mate, but a grown man that could be her everything.
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When's the video release again?
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anyone could have spent five minutes in the EpIII spoiler forum at TFN and whipped up a review better than this piece of shit... and if i were AICN i wouldn't waste peoples' time posting a review for a movie THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST (return of the sith? ASSHOLE!!!)
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it's the fact that it WORKED on her. i mean, cmon now. it's retarded. easily one of the worst lines of dialogue in film history. it would make Ed Wood cringe.
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WHEN CREATING THE IMPERIAL WALKERS WHAT ANIMALS WERE STUDIED?
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May 05, 2005 7:35:27 PM CDT
I used the "sand" line on a chick the other day. Did it work?
by prevert
Did it fuck.
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You heard it here first.
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well done. good summation of the movie without spoiling anything i didn't see in the manious various trailers and music videos out now. i think i'll see this one. so proud that i didn't pay for episode 1. saw it for free on video at my friend's house. hooray, me! was there a more bored actor than liam neeson in ep 1? damn, its a good thing that guy got killed. he needed killing. too bad they couldn't have run over jar jar with an imperial tank. oh well. the only thing ep 3 will be missing is the topless girl/girl scene with natalie portman and angelina jolie in the shower. but lightsabers are pretty cool, i guess.
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fyi, Natalie Portman is an ewok tranny.
Can you say one BILLION dollars? That's how much sand the George Man will maketh. -
im not sure if many of u have seen this new footage from SW III..but its pretty nuts...check it out at.......http://rapidshare.de/files/1543996/trl_clip2.mpg.html
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About the fact that the guy (Jango Fett) in charge of (or running something with) the training of all these clone troopers (in secret that the government knew nothing about) - runs off and then turns up with the Trade Federation robot army, who are their enemy. Did no-one amongst the Jedi or the government find this odd? This always bothered me with AOTC ...
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May 05, 2005 9:11:12 PM CDT
See this on a digital screen, and trust me, the F/X look alot LE
by wonkabar
I saw AOTC first at on at a dital theater and it looked WAY more realistic...ditto if you watch it at home on a digital moniter plasma/LCD as opposed to a regular TV. The difference is insane. So yeah, If you can ROTS digital then do it. I can promise you that anyone who says it looks "cartoony" didn't see it digital. I AM NO APOLOGIST EITHER! See it both ways and compare, the diference really is amazing
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May 05, 2005 9:21:13 PM CDT
DVD and home theater system sales are OBVIOUSLY effecting box of
by commando cody
A recent financial article noted that in comparing the latest numbers, box office revenue over the previous year only grew by a paltry 3%. Meanwhile, DVD sales compared to the previous year were up a whopping 56%. You don't get THAT kind of numeric disparity without some cause and effect. So clearly with prices crashing more and more on big screen projection TVs or Plasmas as well as home sound systems, quite a few people are now opting to spend some bucks, stay home, and say "Screw it. We'll wait for the DVD and then watch it on our own big screen in the comfort of our own home where we can relax and actually enjoy the movie without ringing cell phones, crying babies, or annoying teenagers talking during it."
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Whatever you say, GEORGE!
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this is for all you angry people out there: it`s obvious that most movie goers are at least willing to lay down big bucks to c these movies, so why do you get all defensive when others criticize them? bunch of big babies. "no, dickwad, ewoks fucking rule and i hate your entire shit family! you should all be gassed aaaaagh!". sad, sad. i guess some people won`t be happy until george lucas (hack-bitch egomaniac- ever read the dune series? and why does he take all the credit for something that`s been rescripted, redesigned, re-everythinged by so many people? it`s like ford taking the credit for every automobile ever produced) is put on the throne of the world. i enjoyed all of the old movies, i didn`t like the new ones with the exception of a few parts, and i have high hopes for the new one... but they aren`t the best thing since, well, ever. better than serenity will be by a long shot, but not masterpieces. if you consider them so, there are some other masterpieces you can purchase at the franklin mint.
and jossisgod IS shit. -
And reveal the pathetic little dipshit that you are!! And I mean "little". Oh sorry... you already have been doing that - so I guess there's no need to keep pointing this out. I'm very happy Lucas is laughing all the way to the bank, while you rot away here in the talkbacks as a nobody. Ahhh... the satisfaction of it all. Keep up the rants and blow hard Is It Not Cool!! Cause we know you like it that way.
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Why do haters get so made that we like Star Wars?, why can't they get over that? So it's okay to complain and hate about SW , but if you like it, you deserve to get pounced for it? No, fuck that. They defend SW so much, because they're tired of the haters, who sound like broken records for the last 6 years. They don't like SW anymore? So what, why do we have to join their club? No, fuck'em. If SW sucks for you now. Well too fucking bad for you. Let us enjoy it, move to the fucking side!
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has as good a sound system as I do, plus I have a nicely calibrated 55" HD set. I'll wait for the dvd for $15 at Target, and enjoy it then. It will be what it is; a fun, cheezy sci fi movie, just like the original 3 were. (well, original 2).
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NNNOOOOOOO!!!
uugghh-the bee gees and disco duck!!! -
i rest my case.
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To start with, because you call us haters. You can't get it through your thick skulls that we don't hate Star Wars. We probably dig Star Wars a lot more than some people who like the WT. I, personally, don't care if you enjoy the WT; but, since I don't like it, don't tell me that I'm a "hater".
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You missed my whole point. I'm a realist. I didn't like TPM. I liked AOTC, but I see, I hear. Yes it had bad acting, crappy love story, yadda yadda. Yet as a long time fan and SW devotee, you forgive Lucas, just like your parents. They don't always make the right choices or they piss you off, but you still love them. Now one thing is to be honest about disliking the new SW or SW in general, to give your opinion, but to come to every SW talkback thread over and over again to annouce that people that still like SW are dumb and how could you and this crap?, because you're pissed off & bitter about the new SW and feel the need to rain on the parade of SW fans, that still like the series. Well that's a hater.
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is this when hayden opens his mouth and all the crap filled dialogue comes out??
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http://film.guardian.co.uk/features/featurepages/0,4120,1477031,00.html
This made me laugh, because its shows writers have nothing better to do than show how much they don't have taste. -
You know i've had seen so many fights about this that I became with a conclusion....I'ts a matter of tastes. So, LOTR fans and SW fans, we don't have to trow shit to each other. WE GOT TO HAVE RESPECT FOR OUR TASTES. Respect is one quality that seems hard to find these days.
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May 05, 2005 10:35:07 PM CDT
SAL28, I believe they studied how elephants walk for the AT-ATs.
by excaliburffolkes
I remember seeing something about that on a "Making Of" special one time.
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I thought the sand line was supposed to be cheesy. It was a bad line, but Anakin was a lovestruck young Jedi who probably read a corny romance novel and thought that was real life.
On another note, I have become aware that m***** is a bad word akin to n*****. From now on, they are little people. :) http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050501/COMMENTARY/50429001 -
and Ewoks lick peanut butter off my shaft. Go Lucas, Go!
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May 05, 2005 10:50:09 PM CDT
MJAYACE: You almost expect the emperor with his lisping to say'D
by ashesofdonnie
Thow Him to the Floow!!
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Here we go again. Every bad ass started out a kid, even Clint Eastwood was a dorky kid, an awkward teenager. It happens. Vader matures in those 18 years and becomes that badass from the original films. People want some straight faced evil kid and evil young man from the get go. If he was like that from the start, you'd expect him to become Vader. What would be cool about that? The whole point of the prequels is how did this sweet kid and goofball teen become an evil badass Sith?
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May 05, 2005 10:54:03 PM CDT
Stop picturing Anakin from the prequels in that Vader suit from
by orionsangels
It's not the same person. He's twisted and evil, he's more machine now, than man. Now to mention older, get over it!
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May 05, 2005 10:57:01 PM CDT
Remember how the earliest studio blurbs for ROTS called it the f
by frankdrebin
Things that make you go hmmm... (I guess calling it "the 6th Of 9 Episodes" isn't a big selling point.)
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At the end of TPM, when Jar Jar is inexplicably made a General (something that happens so easily and often in Star Wars), he stands in front of his troops and says "Steady! Steady!", thereby proving himself both heroic and totally qualified to be a General.
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May 05, 2005 11:31:02 PM CDT
If I was a plant I'd tell folks how I hated PM and AOTC but this
by bioforge
Judge all the reviewers according this rule and it applies to all trilogies etc not just SW.It' s the way to save face and get grumpy nerds into theaters.
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i'd sit in a pile of dirt and drink water
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May 06, 2005 12:25:49 AM CDT
I wonder if this site exitsted in 1977, would any of the bashers
by sydbarretsmydad
Ive been thinking about it. You have to put everything into context. And I was 8 years old when Star Wars came out. It was awe inspiring to be...as far as I remember.
But my little nephews saw Phantom Menace, and to them...it was the same way! They were amazed!!!
Fleetwood mac were a different band when rumours came out. They had many albums and an almost completely different line up when they first released an LP. Fans of the old Peter Green Fleetwood Mac probably were dissapointed in Rumours. But its FUCKING RUMOURS!!!
In the end you have to just give in and be a Fleetwood Mac/Star Wars fan....you havent betrayed anything substantial by just....adoring memories and planting them in new gardens. -
May 06, 2005 1:01:28 AM CDT
"People want some straight faced evil kid and evil young man fro
by krullboy
OrionsAngels, that is a great analysis. If people want to see a movie about someone that was born evil, then they need to make their own fucking movie about a teenage Palpatine. Detractors can't grasp the fact that VADER IS A FUCKING TOOL FOR PALPATINES USE, NO DIFFERENT THAN MAUL, TYRANUS, GRIEVOUS, ETC. Lucas has a great essay on this in "The Making of ROTS". He said that if it were up to a marketing department, they would want ROTS to be Episode I, with II and III being nothing but Vader killing Jedi. Lucas says that is not the story he is trying to tell; namely, the fall of a once innocent and noble kid. That is more scary than some from the abyss demon that is bred to kill; it is scary because it could happen to you or me--becoming evil. And as far as those cutting on Anakin's dialogue in TPM (it IS ok to chuck grenades at Jar Jar), he is a freaking kid!!! I'm sure everyone here spoke slang and vernacular-free English growing up in suburbia. Lighten up. It is entertainment. If you want to see evil kids, go rent Children of the Corn, or any of it's sequels.FUCK OFF!
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May 06, 2005 1:34:16 AM CDT
"Whatever one thought of the previous two installments, this dyn
by krullboy
Todd McCarthy, "Variety Magazine". http://www.variety.com/VE1117927015.html Try not to gag when the warm gooiness of SW delight explodes in the back of your throat, haters (MinasTirithII especially).
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Try this review on for size. And no MinasTirithII, the offer of oral sex was figurative not literal, though I bet Coclopez would oblige: http://www.mixedreviews.net/maindishes/2005/revengeofthesith/revengeofthesith.shtml
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...and I have a bad feeling about this. Actually, I have a bad feeling because that line is used twice by two different characters within the first five pages. Oy.
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May 06, 2005 2:01:52 AM CDT
The movie opens in 2 weeks. Why the fuck would you read the movi
by triumph poops!
For crying out loud, it's only a fucking movie. You pay for a ticket, you go in, you relax with your soda and popcorn, you experience it in a darkened hall with other people, you take it all in. Then the lights come up and once you've seen it all as complete film -- acting, direction, effects, music, editing, etc -- THEN you decide if its works for you or not. But this notion it will be "bad" because you're mentally interpretting words on a page as being played out a particular way in YOUR mind (versus the way it actually will onscreen) is really a riot and eye-rolling. And with the movie only 2 weeks away, why the fuck would you read the script NOW if you hadn't spoiled it for yourself already?Man, I can see it now: some of you were the types who just HAD to rip open ALL your Christmas presents at once and then -- only AFTER all the paper shredding was done and everything was unwrapped -- only THEN did you take a deep breath and take a second to stop and actually take notice of what you got.
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Good call my young Padawan. . .This is the stupid fucking logic that people use when they say "I liked the book better than the movie" or "Fuck You Peter Jackson for not including Tom Bombadil". You can't compare two mediums like that. And for fuck sake, as you clearly pointed out, something in print has a different meaning when it has images within it. For example, what if the best Chasey Lane porno had a script. Reading "suction sounds", "slap-slap", "moaning", "long exhaling", or "splattered on tits" has a different effect than actually seeing Chasey Lane in a DVD taking 5 cocks at once. . .not that I have or anything.
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ROTS kicks ass!
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I posted the Variety URL. Could you post the URLs for USA Today and Hollywood Reporter? I'm too lazy to do a Google search since BanthafodderUK, CptKirks2Pay and I just got done filling Cocolopez' mom like a 10 pound bowling ball. Thanks!!
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Rotten Tomatos is is putting up links already as well...what up father-geek? Thought you would have somthing for us by now.
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Faaarrrrk. I mean fuck, obviously. Reading these talkbacks is a clear indication of exactly why the human race is ultimately... doomed. Ha.
PornStar Midget Wrangler here, greetings.
I just wanted to respond to a few things.
1. Smackfu my fine fellow, please accept my assurances that I am in fact, no plant. If I was, surely I would have been nicer?
2. To those who got their knickers in a twist over the title confusion, sorry, yes, I got it wrong, easy mistake to make at 2am writing through the haze...
3. Please note that NEW ZEALAND and AUSTRALIA are in fact separate countries, though both are referred to as being down-under. Here's an easy way to remember the difference, Peter Jackson and Russell Crowe are New Zealanders. Crocodile Dundee, however, is obviously a crass Australian. Kiwi's have Maori, Aussies have Aborigines.
4. Further to this, Kiwi actor and himself Maori, Temuera Morrisson - plays one of the Clone trooper leader dudes. For me, whenever he said a line (he has about 5 lines, all said as one line in different scenes) it took me out of the movie. I don -
May 06, 2005 2:53:40 AM CDT
HOLLYWOOD REPORTER review. In short: "Now completely at home wit
by triumph poops!
Hollywood Reporter LOVES Sith. Remember to close up the assorted spaces since I didn't want to stretch the Talkback. http:// www.hollywoodreporter.com /thr/reviews /review_display. jsp?vnu_content_ id=1000911725
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Look at me, I'm writing something original! While I'm at it LOTR rules, Serenity will own ESB, organic webshooters sucks, and PLANT!
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...I'm just sayin'. Pan out.
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I like you better than sand, whatever. Look at ESB, the best of 'em all, "I love you" "I know". WTF? Bitch and moan all you want, but the OT was far from perfect. Look at the carbon chamber scene, in one frame Han's not wearing his vest, then he is, then he isn't. That's not a deal-breaker for the film, but it goes to show that it has it's flaws. It's an awesome series. The remake of Starship Troopers aka Serenity won't have 5 sequels/prequels spun off of it, so be grateful for what you have. Hopefully someday they'll make a movie about Harry's man-boobs with Hulk Hogan as the baddie! "The 18 hour bra rules, brother!"
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..... I FUCK MIDGETS AND WEAR PINK KNICKERS - AND AS LONG AS JAMES EARL JONES VOICES IT, IT WOULD STILL SOUND COOL. (BTW THE FILM IS CALLED REVENGE OF THE SITH MAN)
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"I'm too lazy to do a Google search since BanthafodderUK, CptKirks2Pay and I just got done filling Cocolopez' mom like a 10 pound bowling ball."
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they run around in paddocks.
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Who ever thought that Return of the Sith will be that much different from the first two prequels is a fool.
That review is atually pretty good. He got it right on the nail. I can just imagine all the characters hanging out on Coruscant for more than one hour and talking about how important they all are for the sake of the galaxy. Oh man... -
That pair of fucking losers Minas and CocoLopez had not showed up for a while on this TB? Maybe they're are doin' the sixty-nine that i told you about.
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Maybe Minas Tirith comes from there.........GAY HOBBIT.....HOBBIT JOTO
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Plazola_MEX, they have trully disappeared. I guess the Kylie Minogue Lookalike Drag Queen contest lasted in Brighton, UK a bit longer than expected. That or maybe I'm spending too much time on these TBs to notice their absence. It does not surprise me, especially since the "real" reviews are coming in from critics that actually have the ear of the non-fanboy population, and they all are extremely positive. I read one earlier today that said this was the best installment in SW!! Now that is tantamount to sacrilege considering the chubby I get for ESB, but if word is that positive, then maybe even the haters like MinasTirithII will at least check it out. But hey who am I to say that one should gather all their facts before espousing and argument. Our illustrious dynamic duo are eerily silent. If you two are out there, and can take a break from your recreation of the nude version of "Troy/Spartacus", get on these TB and start sticking up for yourself damn it!!
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LOTR was fantastic. Don't judge the series or the Kiwis by the drivel that comes out of Minas TirithII. My boss is a Kiwi, and they are great people. The country is beautiful, and if you love outdoor/extreme sports, that place is Heaven. I like both series of films. I just can't stand people that say you have to pick one or they other.
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IVE SPENT ALL WEEK FUCKING ABOUT ON HERE AND NOW IM GONNA HAVE TO WORK MY ARSE OFF TO MEET MY DEADLINES - SHIIIIIT ; D
WHJERES TIRITH AND COCKLOPEZ -
......... ugh.....
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...my girlfriend's a pre-op, she gives a great blowjob and she loves being fucked in the ass. Can't say better than that...course I wouldn't touch Minus or Coco with a 10 foot pole. Goes without saying, really.
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monkeytennis? wrote ... What's with the multiple postings? .......... Accident. Note the first post was incomplete. Totally missing my Buster Keaton remark, which was the whole point of posting.
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May 06, 2005 1:02:04 PM CDT
THE LIFE SAVOR BATTLE WITH GREVIOUS IN 'RETURN OF THE SITH' IS B
by jim jam bongs
I have yet to read one review for Revenge on this site which feels objective and well thought-out. Too much hype and very little in the way of analysis.
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first, the sand line: okay, maybe he was awkward and he didn't know how to say something nice. Then have Padme LAUGH at that line the way a real woman would. No woman upon hearing that would take it and not come back with some sass. And certainly not luke and leia's mother. The characters both lacked depth or verve. Give her a human personality - ie a guy, even one she likes, makes a line like that and she would scoff. **************** About Ani turning into a badass. he laid a foundation with the mom. what weakens the foundation goes back to the unreal, bland relationship with padme. again, if they'd done a better job (still believe peril - onthe run from bounty hunters would have worked) with them, we'd have a reason to believe Ani is gonna wig out over losing padme.
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http://www.sacredheart.co.uk/ldn/board_thread.php?id=20117&r=24
This website always puts a smile on my face, forums on it are always good for a laugh. Hope the link works. -
Good review, but why can nobody ever spell "Lightning" properly?
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"he will come to you and you will bwing him before me!" and "STWIKE ME DOWN WITH ALL OF YOUR HATWED AND YOUR JOURNEY TO THE DARKSIDE WILL BE COMPWETE!". I hope he lisps in the new version. Can you imagine - "Lord Vader?" "Yes my master?" "WISSSSEEEEEE!"
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May 07, 2005 2:44:19 AM CDT
Another sign that Lucas's infant took over the script in Return
by antoniusbloc
In addition to the rock throwing Ewoks, I noticed that in Jedi is when the green colored light sabre first appeared. Green? Now there are numerous fruit loop varieties to choose from in the prequels: purple, powder blue, bananna nut, and faketone tan.
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May 07, 2005 3:00:38 AM CDT
SPOILER!: "Child Star Malcom, of TV's 'Malcolm in the MIddle' to
by antoniusbloc
and another spoiler: HAN SOLO'S OLDEST SECOND COUSIN IS LUKE'S FATHER, NOT ANNIE(DV). How does he fit in to the plot, you ask? He appears in the film as a human pet of one of the wookies: you guessed it, the oldest sister of Chewbacca's nanny. Nunez is saved from his master by Law and Order's Jimmie Smits, who swaps him with an ewok as the wookie sleeps.
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May 07, 2005 3:09:40 AM CDT
SPOILER!: Annakin's turn to the Dark Side is complete when Padme
by antoniusbloc
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If Ahmed Best had not been allowed to do Jar-Jar's voice as a cartoony-sounding thing, then the character would have been accepted. Picture Jar-Jar's lines if they were spoken by Samuel L. Jackson's voice using a pidgin English/Jamaican accent. "Maxi big da force." in a low, non-cartoony voice would have been fine. It was Ahmed Best's lousy voice acting that ruined Jar-Jar. His lines, though, were all perfect for the character he needed to be in the story.
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May 08, 2005 3:17:45 PM CDT
i wish the majority of you would just fuck off and die, i really
by satansteve
i love star wars. i love the OT, i love the prequels, i like the ewoks, i dont like jar jar. i dont like having someone elses bullshit opinion forced onto me like some sleazy ass rapist. look out everybody! its the opinion rapists! not everyone on the planet shares your tiny minded views. the prequels are here and there staying, get the fuck over it and ask your mom to bring some more chips down to the basement you tinyminded motherfuckers!
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