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Moriarty Rumbles On The EPISODE III Soundtrack!!

Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

I was going to go get this in the morning with my buddy Obi-Swan, but I broke down. I was weak. I ran to the Virgin Megastore at midnight to get it instead. There was a pretty big line, but most of that appeared to be for the new Nine Inch Nails album (which I have to say strikes me as a big fat sideways step for Reznor overall), so I had no problem getting my copy of the REVENGE OF THE SITH soundtrack. More importantly, I got the bonus DVD, called STAR WARS: A MUSICAL JOURNEY. It’s 16 videos made up of footage from all six STAR WARS films, all using John Williams music that’s been specially arranged for this DVD.

The result? Pure catnip for STAR WARS fans. There’s plenty here to keep you happy in the days before the film is released. I’m going to need it. There are two press screenings for the film on Thursday, but I have yet to be invited, which basically means I’m S.O.L. I’ve gone to press screenings for the last two STAR WARS films, but this time out, Fox has frozen me out completely. I guess they have decided that they don’t want me to see the film or to write about the film or to comment on the film at all. Whatever. I’d go in a heartbeat if a ticket opened up for me on Thursday miraculously, but if not, then I’ll just see it opening night at midnight at the Arclight with my wife and my friends, and that’ll be just fine, too. I'm just excited to see the darn thing. I read today that Hayden Christensen finally verified the rumor I reported a year ago about Tom Stoppard having worked on the script for the film, something which made Mr. Beaks actually sound optimistic again for a brief moment. Miraculous.

For now, I’ve got this disc, and there’s a lot of great stuff here. A quick rundown based on watching it tonight when I got it home:

A LONG TIME AGO

Very nice. Starts to make the case right away for all six movies as one long film that can be watched in any order, really. This piece connects all the STAR WARS films using the opening fanfare version of the theme that each film opens with.

DARK FORCES CONSPIRE

I love STAR WARS bad guys, and I love “Duel Of The Fates.” What else could I possibly want? I hope this music ends up in REVENGE OF THE SITH somewhere. I know it’s not on the album, but I’m hoping the film itself hits us with some “Duel” at some point. It’s one of my favorite themes for the entire series.

A HERO RISES

Wee l’il Anakin. I like how his theme from THE PHANTOM MENACE ends in a hint of “The Imperial March.” Nice foreshadowing by Williams, made even more clear by the way this piece is edited.

A FATEFUL LOVE

”Across The Stars.” Visually, this is a great movie romance. Lucas has all the right images. I almost wish he’d relied on less dialogue in this montage. This DVD helps prove that Lucas wanted to make films that would work even if you didn’t understand a single word, films that communicate almost purely on a visual level. Bouncing backwards and forwards in time, showing Portman and Lloyd meeting for the first time right before showing Christensen and Portman’s secret wedding, there’s real resonance.

A HERO FALLS

You’ve probably seen this one already. It’s got the most new EPISODE III footage. It’s a great video, a great way to condense Anakin’s fall. As Quint mentioned the other day (and as our own Obi-Swan has illustrated below), Lucas took out those creepy little Scott Savol-style baby hands that Vader originally had:

Thanks. Good call.

AN EMPIRE IS FORGED

One of the great pieces of film music of all time, “The Imperial March” in all its glory. This one uses McQuarrie art, poster images, and actual footage from ANH, ESB, and ROTJ in what is basically “Darth Vader’s Mondo Badass Compilation Tape.” Play this one very, very loud.

A PLANET THAT IS FARTHEST FROM

All Tatooine, all the time. It’s sort of amazing how much time the saga spends on this particular planet. I love Jawa music, and there’s a lot of it here. I love how horns were used in the score for ANH. There’s lots of my favorite droid footage from all the films.

AN UNLIKELY ALLIANCE

Luke music, and lots of it. Some of the big lush melancholy stuff from ANH, “Binary Sunset” included. There’s a ton of cantina music... maybe too much. It goes sort of batshit towards the end, complete with a burp for a punchline.

A DEFENDER EMERGES

Heavy emphasis on design art in this one, which is Leia-centric. For all the hullabaloo about Lucas not liking the famous “I love you”/“I know” exchange from EMPIRE, he knows it’s a fave for many fans, and includes it here.

A DARING RESCUE

Watching this DVD, you pretty much see all of the films boiled down to the most potent imagery. I love watching this stuff condensed like this. I love the way pieces have been pieces together visually and musically.

A JEDI IS TRAINED

All about Yoda, heavy on the EMPIRE. As much as I love digital Yoda... and I do... it’s the EMPIRE performance that still towers over everything else and defines the character.

A NARROW ESCAPE

Focused primarily on space chases from EMPIRE and ATTACK OF THE CLONES at first, this is one of my favorite overall pieces on this DVD, and it’s just fun to watch. Lots and lots of asteroids, everywhere you look.

A BOND UNBROKEN

Luke and Leia. Again, what makes this DVD so nice is the way it juxtaposes scenes from all the films to really show the connection between the twins.

A SANCTUARY MOON

I wouldn’t be a STAR WARS fan if I didn’t bitch about something, right? Let’s just say that lots of Ewoks and Gungans means lots of tears and suffering in my house. This one won’t be getting a lot of repeat play.

A LIFE REDEEMED

Bits of the JEDI duel, but not enough of it. It’s interesting to cut from Vader’s funeral pyre to an image of that happy little boy who just won the big pod race.

A NEW DAY DAWNS

Happy endings all around, and lots of celebration footage. This one also includes the closing credits for the DVD, and it’s a heck of an effort overall. It was certainly worth the late-night run to Virgin.

I know I can wait for the movie. I can. I know I can. I’m sure I can...

... I think...

"Moriarty" out.





Readers Talkback
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  • May 3, 2005, 6:12 a.m. CST

    Can't wait

    by Shawn F.

    Picking mine up this afternoon. Wish I were going on Thursday as well, Mor. Then again, so does probably 99% of the folks who post on this site. ;-)

  • May 3, 2005, 6:15 a.m. CST

    Duel of the Fates

    by Darth Thoth

    Mornin' folks. I completely agree with Moriarty about DotF. I would love for this song to be included in the Anakin/ Obi fight. When I heard it in Menace that was my first thought- this must be reprised in The Duel. Oh well. Wishful thinking on this Tuesday morning. Thanks for the write up Mori. Off to pick mine up later today. Peace.

  • May 3, 2005, 6:44 a.m. CST

    Dude

    by SnowMann

    I think I just filled the cup.

  • May 3, 2005, 7 a.m. CST

    Can't Wait

    by Gungan Slayer

    man, the video they posted on starwars.com is just plain great. I can't wait to pick this baby up. I am assuming that everythin is on one disc, correct?

  • May 3, 2005, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Got it last week...

    by Charlie & Tex

    ..from an indie music store who let us have it as he was a fan of Shaun of the dead. It's damn good, with two of the best being the Ep II love theme and "A Hero Falls". It really helps cement the saga together as a whole, which is a bloody miracle. It's worth buying even if, like us, you got the soundtrack off the internet a month ago.

  • May 3, 2005, 7:55 a.m. CST

    I take it it's all Special Edition footage?

    by kiddae

    AUGH! Inept. How about telling us stuff we actually want to know? And don't give me "of course it is" - a man can hope. Plus there was plenty of original edition footage in 'Empire of Dreams'.

  • May 3, 2005, 7:59 a.m. CST

    9TH!! YAYYYY!

    by banthafodderUK

    This film looks better and better. "I have a good feeling about this"

  • May 3, 2005, 8:02 a.m. CST

    This Movie is Un-fuck-upable

    by Darth Busey

    See above.

  • No reward is worth this.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Well I did something too.......

    by CyberBeavis1326

    I took a shit. Should I post my experience about that. NO!!!! Who cares you bought a CD, had to stand in a line where nobody gave a fuck about RoTS, but liked NIN more. What does that tell you??? RoTS is being met tepidly. Yeah I'll pick up the RoTS soundtrack for the DVD, but I'm also picking up both versions of the NIN CD (normal and DualDisc). So what??? What a waste of precious bandwidth you waste Mori.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:23 a.m. CST

    Vader Jazz Hands and CocoLopez

    by krullboy

    The wrist restraints vader was using in the "before" shot were returned to Cocolopez for his new video shoot "Fuck your Flexicuffs" the latest single on his newest spoken word album, "J. Lo on the Down Lo", featuring a guest appearance by Ton Loc, Dolomite, and Steve Urkel.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:29 a.m. CST

    "FUCK YOUR FLEXICUFFS"

    by banthafodderUK

    Once again, laughed out loud in the oh-so-quiet office - Cheers Krullboy - I made a noise like a mong who's just seen his first clown ; )

  • May 3, 2005, 8:31 a.m. CST

    CyberBeavis1326

    by banthafodderUK

    I hope you washed your hands

  • May 3, 2005, 8:34 a.m. CST

    He has been awfully quiet the past few days...

    by DocPazuzu

    ....our friend, coco. I suspect a backfired auto-erotic, gimp masked, ball-gag incident while chained in a closet in a Nurse Diesel stylee.

  • For those that did not get to experience the man and the legend that IS cocolopez, check out the above URL. Courtesy the DJ that was really behind the Cantina and Sy Snootles and the Rebo Band. . .

  • May 3, 2005, 8:38 a.m. CST

    I do hope cockohomopez....

    by banthafodderUK

    ...hasn't fallen down 8 sets of stairs and through a greenhouse totally fucking himself up so he can only communicate by blinking....

  • May 3, 2005, 8:39 a.m. CST

    What's Up Doc?

    by krullboy

    BanthafodderUK and I were discussing that in an earlier thread. I know where he is. . .HE'S IN LINE BUYING THE ROTS SOUNDTRACK, DUHH!!! But seriously, talk about get roasted in the TBs and not coming back to defend himself. Give credit to guys like ForeverTJ; they start up a shit storm, but they stick around. Cocolopez disappreared faster than Michael Jackson's hands would down the pants of 10 years olds at a Bangkok Boys orphanage.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:40 a.m. CST

    Can I look at the back of the CD?

    by John Maddening

    ...or will if give me a spoiler again, like PHANTOM MENACE did with a track called "The Funeral of Qui-Gon Jinn"?

  • May 3, 2005, 8:41 a.m. CST

    You have to let NIN cds grow on you.

    by rev_skarekroe

    The only one that I loved with the very first listen was "Broken". Everything else I felt lukewarm about until after they'd spent a little time in my cd player. So what's all this about "Star Wars"?

  • May 3, 2005, 8:43 a.m. CST

    DocPazuzu

    by banthafodderUK

    someone told me that you were banned from here - good to have you back mate.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:45 a.m. CST

    krullboy

    by DocPazuzu

    Coco may be off-topic and crazier than a shithouse rat, but TJ is a racist slimesucker, which is why he was banned to begin with. I'd much rather have immortal love-god cocolopez back.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Nah..

    by DocPazuzu

    I was never banned. My posts attacking TJ were deleted when he was banned, effectively eliminating all traces of him -- until he came back, that is.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:47 a.m. CST

    NIN ARE A LOAD OF WANK

    by banthafodderUK

    i dont want to cause offence and I respect that everyone has their own tastes.... BUT I WOULD RATHER EAT A CHALKY WHITE DOGSHIT SANDWICH THAN LISTEN TO THAT SHITE

  • May 3, 2005, 8:48 a.m. CST

    TB SMACKOFF IS NEEDED NOW HARRY!!!

    by krullboy

    DocPazuzu, I follow you. What we need, for the entertainment of all, is an AICN IM TB "smackoff", whereby "King of the TBs" can be crowned. Think of the great nuggets of wisdom that would be hatched!!

  • Because holy shit! I thought Lucas even said he was going to use Duel of the Fates in the third movie! SHITSHITSHITSHIT!!! Is there something better used for the duel in the soundtrack then?

  • May 3, 2005, 8:54 a.m. CST

    Thoughts on the soundtrack

    by SoupDragon

    I'm playing this through again for the second time. My overall impression is that its a bit subdued. There are some strong tracks like Battle of the Heroes but most of the rest is drowned out and overshdowed by refrains of the familiar themes from the OT. This is particularly true of the tracks for Padme. Also the seague into credits for the final track didn't have quite the imapact I thought it would. Overall pretty good, but Williams best work for the prequel trilogy is still probably the Attack of the Clones soundtrack.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:55 a.m. CST

    This is "news"?

    by SalvatoreGravano

    This has been in stores here for a week. How about posting Moriarty's fresh, new review of "The Phantom Menace" tomorrow?

  • May 3, 2005, 8:55 a.m. CST

    SORRY EVERYONE

    by banthafodderUK

    I think it was me that caused the TB to stretch out with my crappy joke about the cd (CAN SOMEONE FIX IT PLEASE?????) - ONCE AGAIN, SORRY

  • May 3, 2005, 9:01 a.m. CST

    supercalifragilisticexpialadoshus

    by krullboy

    BanthafodderUK, that was ingenious!! I just hope that the TBs don't draw and quarter you.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:07 a.m. CST

    I HOPE THEY DON'T KRULLBOY....

    by banthafodderUK

    ....I'VE EXPRESSED MY REMORSE AT FUCKING UP THE WIDTH OF THE TB- PEOPLE ONLY USUALLY GET ANGRY WHEN PEOPLE DONT ADMIT THEY WERE A STUPID TWATFOR DOING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE (WHICH I HAVE) FINGERS CROSSED EH? ; )

  • May 3, 2005, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Duel of the Fates should NOT be in ROS

    by p5mmr9

    Why? Well...the last time we heard Duel of the Fates Anakin was off trying to find his mother. After he finds her - he begins his path down the dark path...his fate is decided. From my point of view, "duel of the fates" represents the different paths Anakin's life could take - generally represented by how different Anakin's life would've been had Qui-Gon lived. Anakin chose anger and hatred in dealing with the Tusken Raiders who killed his mother. And as Yoda says, "Once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny." Anakin's fate is decided after that moment. No more Duel of the Fates.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Trent Reznor raped my childhood.

    by Colonel_Blimp

    At least I think it was him.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:14 a.m. CST

    I can see it now...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...the new purist fanboy t-shirts at Geekwear: "Vader Always Had Jazz Hands!"

  • May 3, 2005, 9:14 a.m. CST

    IM THINKING OF CREATING.....

    by banthafodderUK

    ....a piss-take soundtrack loosely based on an international flatulence tournament - the main track will be 'DUEL OF THE FARTS" - Who's with me? ..... (anybody, anyone? no?)

  • May 3, 2005, 9:16 a.m. CST

    FUCKING JAZZ HANDS - LOVE IT!!

    by banthafodderUK

    "vader shot first with his original jazz hands" - THATS WHAT I WANT ON MY T SHIRT

  • May 3, 2005, 9:21 a.m. CST

    "Vader Shot Gizz on Padme's tits first" T-Shirt

    by krullboy

    How about that for the deleted scenes!!! (I think I just raped my own childhood with that image)

  • May 3, 2005, 9:22 a.m. CST

    banthafodder,

    by Colonel_Blimp

    I for one forgive you for that width-thingy, mostly thanks to my 20" widescreen monitor. btw, is there a track titled Revenge Of The Shit, where the underdog/outsider/Daniel-San finally defeats the reigning flatulence-champ? Sith/shit... Haha. Bet you guys hadn't thought of that one before, huh?

  • Sorry, had to do it

  • May 3, 2005, 9:32 a.m. CST

    Marvin Gardens

    by banthafodderUK

    SO YOU DID GET BANNED AFTER ALL MR LOPEZ - WELCOME BACK (AND DON'T FORGET YOUR HAIRNET)

  • May 3, 2005, 9:33 a.m. CST

    JIZZ/MIAGI

    by banthafodderUK

    "I SAW MR MIAGI SHOOT JIZZ OVER GREEDO AFTER HE SHOT FIRST OVER A DISPUTE OF THE RESULT OF DUEL OF THE FARTS" (PHEW)

  • May 3, 2005, 9:37 a.m. CST

    no....

    by DocPazuzu

    I smell faux coco (fauxco?). The post is too brief. The true coco was never banned since his posts are still visible.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Glad those bankruptcy cases. . .

    by krullboy

    are making you enough money to invest in T-shirts

  • May 3, 2005, 9:40 a.m. CST

    DocPAzazu, check the Marvin Gardens URL

    by krullboy

    it features T-shirts of the great Cocolopez, once again covering his face

  • May 3, 2005, 9:42 a.m. CST

    fauxco?

    by banthafodderUK

    We'll find out soon enough- only the real cockloverpez can post the ramblings we're used to seeing

  • May 3, 2005, 9:44 a.m. CST

    jenny from the block shot first

    by banthafodderUK

    "don't be fooled by the shit that i got, im just coco who loves cock, and i jizzed after i was shot first with jizz hands....."

  • and Cocolopez gave a spoken word performance of "maria" from "West Side Story", set to the rhythms of "Mr. Wendel", by Arrested Development..........and ROTS will deliver (just to stay on topic)

  • May 3, 2005, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Darth Vader's crispy cock and balls?

    by banthafodderUK

    Did vader lose his 3 piece suite? or did he hang on to them? How much of vader is left after his lava baptism?

  • May 3, 2005, 9:51 a.m. CST

    After losing his unit, Darth Vader is now a post-op tranny

    by krullboy

  • May 3, 2005, 9:51 a.m. CST

    I prefer coco's

    by banthafodderUK

    spoken word version of 'what a feeling' - "it's basically flashdance fused with mc hammer shit"

  • May 3, 2005, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Moriarty, what ever happened with the "God of War" contest?

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    Did you ever post the winners?

  • ahh, another nugget of wisdom from the Artist formerly known as cocolopez. And remember kids "Download tracks from all four albums now- seven tracks each from the three Marv solo efforts (the 14 song "A Year in a Day", the 16 song "Ophiuchus Serpentarius", and the 16 song "Cloisters Wall Crawl") are featured... Go to the Soul Stigmata site to download Marv's fourth- a joint disc with Big Ugly and Faubs... The upcoming disc "Dr. Man's Vinegar" is currently undergoing primary recording and will feature production from Nick Rella... Stay tuned for more info... "

  • May 3, 2005, 9:57 a.m. CST

    How soon do you think

    by banthafodderUK

    ep3 will appear on bittorrent etc? What are people's feelings on viwing ep3 before it hits the cinema? I'm dying to see it, but dont want to spoil it with a shitty pirate copy, but at the same time haven't got the patience to wait til the 19th aaaghh!

  • May 3, 2005, 10:01 a.m. CST

    BanthafoddeUK. . .

    by krullboy

    Just crash the Leicester Square Marathon and you can see it on the 16th. I'm sure there are a few fat slags working at the concession stands that will exchange a few moments of moist, shameful fistings for a sneak into the theater

  • May 3, 2005, 10:06 a.m. CST

    heh

    by DocPazuzu

    Nice Office ref there...

  • May 3, 2005, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Cheers Doc

    by banthafodderUK

    And Krullboy - I think that there will be loads of media at Leicester Square - and if any of my friends or family see me standing around with wankers dressed up in their home made darth maul suits, then my life will be shite

  • May 3, 2005, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Jedi Council????

    by archsupportrival

    Hey?!?!? Remember? Did we already have one and I missed it? I mean since the last time? You know, like last year?

  • May 3, 2005, 10:23 a.m. CST

    If I don't see RotS for the first time

    by Colonel_Blimp

    on a gigantic THX screen I will regret it for the rest of my life. there will be no downloaded pirates this time. and just think of the satisfaction come may 19th when you've actually managed to hold out the storm! nothing can spoil this. as long as the shots from the trailer are in this movie, even though the rest is just jar jar doing a gungan stand up routine, this movie will still be amazing. gungan standup, how's that for a spin off series?

  • May 3, 2005, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Colonel_Blimp

    by banthafodderUK

    You're 100% right - it's gonna be very hard though man - I've got less patience than harold shipman

  • May 3, 2005, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Thanks! Was wondering about Stoppard!

    by Dannychico

    This has been on my mind since you first posted it in 2004, Moriarty! Good news indeed. Nay, FANTASTIC news. He's a real star wars geek. Oh, and a genius.

  • May 3, 2005, 10:36 a.m. CST

    bantha - it's already on BT

    by Dannychico

    but I won't tell you where and I won't watch it myself.

  • May 3, 2005, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Dannychico

    by banthafodderUK

    why wont you tell me where it is man?

  • May 3, 2005, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Stoppard?!?

    by docfalken

    What a strange project for him to be involved with. Though with Anakin's descent into the dark side, I would think that Mamet would be more suitable for the prerequisite dialogue than the wordy Stoppard.

  • May 3, 2005, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Daft Mall

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    Hey Banthafucker man. Don't knock the geeky wankbags dressed up in Darth Maul suits. I wore one when I did a crappy promotions job walking around Romford High street. I practiced with a broomstick all flippin' week so that I could use my double lightsabre on people, just to pimpress the Essex slags like Michelle Heaton (just to stay on topic) but instead kids came up and kicked me up the arse all the time, and spat all over me. Sorry about the Banthfucker name, did not meant it not in good way, no need to not refrain from doing a Lando now.

  • May 3, 2005, 10:57 a.m. CST

    ITS OK KIRK

    by banthafodderUK

    I REMEMBER WHEN U HAD TO DRESS UP AS MAUL AND HAVE A LIGHTSABER DUEL WITH ATWAT DRESSED UP AS VADER, BUT HE HADNT PRACTICED HIS MOVES AND FUCKED IT UP MAKING YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE TWATS - HAVE YOU GOTYOUR PHONE FIXED YET?

  • May 3, 2005, 10:59 a.m. CST

    So, this is basically a bunch of trailers for the saga?

    by performingmonkey

    I'm not that interested in this DVD. I'll just go and watch the OT DVDs if I want to see anything from the OT. And I hate shit like clips of the PT mixed with the OT because it really shows what classics ANH, ESB and (to an extent, i.e. Luke/Vader/Palps) ROTJ are, and what missed opportunities TPM & AOTC were (and what pathetically bad dialogue AOTC contains). I already watched the clip with Battle of Heroes over it, and that's all you need really. I don't want to see Vader's pyre mixed with fucking Jake Lloyd pod-racing. I so wish Lucas had made Anakin 2-3 years older in TPM. Anyway, it's pointless bitching about the PT. ROTS is going to be the best of the three, but will still come nowhere near the classic nature of ESB. It's impossible, for 2 reasons - Lucas's directing and writing credits. It's a shame Mori isn't gonna be seeing a press screening. It would have been great to get his honest views on the movie (I'd trust him over Harry's fanboy gushings any day!).

  • May 3, 2005, 10:59 a.m. CST

    No.

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

  • May 3, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST

    "...I

    by googamooga

    Good God, Mori, we've all seen your picture, there's NO WAY you're married. Unless maybe the poor victim, er "girl", is blind, and in a persistent vegetative state.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:11 a.m. CST

    BAI LING HAS BEEN CUT FROM ROTS BECAUSE SHE SHOWS HER TITS IN PL

    by googamooga

    Bad form, Georgie, but at least now I know where I can see those lovely fun bags...

  • May 3, 2005, 11:12 a.m. CST

    If Vader's hands...

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    ... aren't seen strapped down, what exactly are they doing down there? 'Cos as all bloke's know, it's bloody difficult to lay down, and you know, NOT do anything with your hands. He just better not have Michelle Heaton on the brain too lying there, otherwise I'll have to prove my love for that stupid slag to him, and open a can of Horlicks Palpatiny on his deep fried ass.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:12 a.m. CST

    DocFalken

    by Dannychico

    Stoppard is a certified geek. He really digs the fantasy genre. Mamet would be a horrid choice. Mamet has one hyperrealistic writing style, which wouldn't fit the tone of the Star Wars universe. Stoppard can write in whatever style he needs to. He is THAT GOOD.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Love that new NIN album - Good shite!

    by Flim_

    All the Force in the World / Know What You Are, Do You? / The Droid Collector / The Hand That Feeds / Love Is Not Enough... I Know. / Every Clone is Exactly the Same / With Darth / Only / Yoda's Getting Smaller / Binary Sunspots / The Luke Begins to Blur / Beside Han in Time / Right Where Fett Belongs... Great album!

  • May 3, 2005, 11:18 a.m. CST

    VADER WANKING????

    by banthafodderUK

    If vader actually did wank, i think he'd prefer to use the force than to actually use his hands - it's kind of the star wars version of laying on you arm for half hour so it goes numb so that it feels like someone else is giving you a han shandy (and don't forget that they have twilek celbrity wrestling over the holonet)

  • May 3, 2005, 11:21 a.m. CST

    han shandy

    by banthafodderUK

    i meant to say hand shandy, but hey man, it kept me on topic..........

  • May 3, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Hell ya

    by RedScab

    New NIN cd and Episode III soundtrack with the bonus DVD released on the same day...holy shit I have died and gone to heaven. Then later this month getting to see Episode III and NIN live in Houston on May 26th....priceless.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Babyhanded Vader

    by Colonel_Blimp

    raped my etc.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:28 a.m. CST

    look at the bullshit he's got on his site now- this cant be true

    by banthafodderUK

    http://www.supershadow.com/starwars/lucas/ theres no way lucas would bother to answer fan questions this close to the film coming out- he's far too busy promoting ep3 - how does ss.com get away with this??????

  • May 3, 2005, 11:28 a.m. CST

    One reason why Anakin turned to the dark side...

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    You remember that bit in AOTC where he's in bed having nightmares about his mother? Well, with all that moaning, it looks like he's actually giving himself a bit of a Hand Solo over her. The main reason why he crossed to the dark side by killing the Tusken Raiders is because they got to 'raid' her before he could. Plus, she daren't tell anyone who his father was, probably 'cos she lost count of how many times she was raided.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Moriarty

    by johnnyfartpants

    Translation: Moriarty's just been taken in by the FUCKING SW Hype Machine. Go on, spend your money on shit you might watch three times in total, then use as a fucking coaster.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:41 a.m. CST

    "Lucas wanted to make films that would work even if you didn

    by minderbinder

    Hell, the first two prequels work BETTER if you don't understand the dialogue. hope the rumor about Stoppard was true, there might be a little hope for this one.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Visual movie

    by Aetius450

    That Lucas wanted to tell the story visually so that one could understand it even if there were no words is a commendable creative decision. He has described the writing process as painful for him, and that he doesn't consider dialogue to be that important. Again, this is all fine and good, but it begs the question -- Why, with this attitude, did he persist in writing the dialogue himself, especially with regards to the love story? For the sake of the audience who hears it, and for the benefit of the actors who say it, you'd think Lucas would have turned that part of the writing over to someone who is good at it.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:42 a.m. CST

    'hand solo'

    by banthafodderUK

    just had my 2nd laugh out loud in the ever-so-quiet office-so-that-every-cunt-knows-im-not-doing-a-stroke-of -fucking-work-and-havent-all- day. cheers

  • May 3, 2005, noon CST

    see you all tomorrow

    by banthafodderUK

    im off home now (for a hand solo) ; )

  • May 3, 2005, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Thanks, Moriarty!

    by viola123

    And they need to get you a ticket for Thursday. C'mon, Fox!! I hope you get to see it early and yes, report back to us everything. LOL. I think I can wait for the film too. I think I can. I think.

  • May 3, 2005, 12:24 p.m. CST

    I read the comic book

    by LandoSauce

    Read the comic book at Walmart. I like-a da pictchas. I downloaded the soundtrack a while ago, and I like-a da sounds. All systems look good. Prepare for takeoff.

  • May 3, 2005, 12:37 p.m. CST

    *Still* no posts about Lucas raping someone in the childhood wit

    by SalvatoreGravano

    Curiouser and curiouser.

  • May 3, 2005, 12:41 p.m. CST

    I Dunno

    by Trevor Goodchild

    Just in case you've moved to this TB instead. Re;Qui Gonn's death. what about when Vader sacrificed himself to save Luke? He didn't disappear?

  • May 3, 2005, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Trevor

    by TheManWho

    I think Vader did disappear, you just didn't see it. His armour got left behind, and it's that which Luke burnt on the pyre.

  • May 3, 2005, 1:01 p.m. CST

    the cd features the densest, most intense music of any star wars

    by atomheartbrother

    sure it wasn't in 6.1 but who gives a shit. the clips, the music. it is all good.

  • May 3, 2005, 1:02 p.m. CST

    So in "A Bond Unbroken" does it have the famous sibling liplock?

    by PhilConnors

    I don't know if that's the force they're feeling...

  • May 3, 2005, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Met tepidly? Are you on crack?

    by LordEnigma

    So the NIN fans could not wait? That just proves the SW fans can. I went to Target this morning, and I bought this. No need to stay up to get it. Revenge is being met with more expectations than TPM. Every scumbag can downplay it all they want, but truth be told. This film has mad hype behind it. Vader returning, screaming in pain, and so on. Fun times. Stop denying the power of these films. LOTR could not beat them, and nothing else can. LOTR has been forgotten, but people still bitch about a 6 year old film. I think that says enough. Good try Rhys-Davies, but you failed. Now go act in a Sci-Fi original movie.

  • May 3, 2005, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Hey, Mori...lemme get this straight...

    by RobinP

    I, in the deepest bowels of wild North Wales, get the CD & DVD before YOU..in California ? Dude, have you considered pre-ordering ? In the meantime though...I extend a hearty "Yaaaaaay Me" !!! Damnit - high fives never work alone....curiously, neither do Mexican waves !

  • May 3, 2005, 1:29 p.m. CST

    watching the movies without words

    by jonastheangel

    would actually make the whole romance in aotc alot better considering it had some of the worst dialog in creation outside of a uwe boll movie. but thats what dvd's are for, skipping to all the obiwan bits cause i loved everything obiwan did, the romance was just.... painful. personaly that sounds like a attempt to save ones own ass when it comes to bad dialog. "oh you dont understand, turn off the sound and you can still watch it", this is true, but i dont think that turning off the sound should make the movie more enjoyable. and saying he had all the right imagery, um, well lets see romatic imagery is easy, guy and a girl laughing and smiling at each other. toss in some quiet moments of them looking into each others eyes, wow, i just wrote a great romance, give me lots of money. talk about ass kissing.

  • May 3, 2005, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Re: SuperShadow

    by Darth Busey

    This is a great site. My favorite quote in the "George Lucas" interview is this gem: "I love how you have charity releases of the Revenge of the Sith film to help the children. I have two questions, one a little self centered and one that is in regards to current events. 1) Is there any possibility of having a Toronto event? I went to the first two and would love to go to a third 2) Is there any plans to have a showing where the money would go towards helping the tsunami victims? George Lucas: I don

  • May 3, 2005, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Darthbusey

    by RobinP

    I have a feeling that with regard to tsuname relief that a lot of people feel the same way.

  • May 3, 2005, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Here's some Geek trivia regarding the ROTS soundtrack.

    by RobinP

    If you watch the "The Beginning" documentary on the TPM second disc, towards the end, you'll see and hear a conversation between Lucas & John Williams at Abbey Road studios, during the recording of the TPM score. Lucas mentions that he feels the music for for Qui Gon's funeral could also be used in Ep 3...and blow me down...HE WAS RIGHT ! There it is, Padme's Fate - the same chorus. Does anybody else get a little qiver of anticipation hearing a teeny little bit of the original Star Wars score at the end...presumably when Obi Wan delivers baby Luke to his new home ? May 19 cannot come quickly enough.

  • May 3, 2005, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Famous last words...

    by uss cygnus

    Final words of Khan to Kirk: To the last, I will grapple with thee. From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee. Final Words of Anakin to Obi-Wan: (outside the suit) I HATE YOU! You ain't getting me again, Luca$. One Phantom Menace was enough.

  • May 3, 2005, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Vader's Last Words

    by Darth Busey

    ...are actually "You already have", but I digress...

  • May 3, 2005, 2:54 p.m. CST

    I just stumbled across Alexandra DuPont's TPM pre-release review

    by Right Bastard

    It began like this: "Attention, fellow geeks: Those of you waiting in line for Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace are, in my opinion, setting yourselves up for a grave disappointment. Either that, or you're about to brainwash yourselves into the short-term, delusional embrace of a sub-par cinematic product -- which is even worse." She needs her own show.

  • God, how many times do we have to go through this? There's an upcoming prequel film. Everyone buys the soundtracks and the books and the comics and the video game and the figures BEFORE the film actually comes out. The film is a piece of unmitigated garbage. Everyone realizes that had they seen the film first, there is no way in hell they would have bought everything first. This has already happened twice. Now yet again we have talkbacks about the sound tracks and all that crap, and you can run to the nearest Toys R Us to buy the video game before the film is even out. Take the hint, there is a very good reason all toys are sold before this film and why it will open world-wide at the same time: because by the time everyone realizes that it's the third strike for the prequels and that the plot has already been hopelessly mangled going in, you've already paid. And I'm not just talking money.

  • May 3, 2005, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Don't see the movie, Malx!

    by Orionsangels

    Leave us alone. Will do whatever the fuck we want. We like the movies. too fucking bad if that bothers you. Will worship star wars forever, now go away!

  • May 3, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Bai Ling has no tits?

    by googamooga

    Apparently you've never seen "The Crow". It sure looked to me like she had tits in that movie, though my memory could be failing...

  • May 3, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Star Wars Crack!

    by Dark Knight Lite

    Now playing in my dvd deck in heavy rotation! You haters will never understand the joy that Star Wars brings to us geeks that have been there since '77.

  • May 3, 2005, 4:12 p.m. CST

    I GOT MINE! DAMN WALMART AND THEIR MISTAKENLY LABELED CD'S!

    by googamooga

    In too seperate locations inside my local white trash/ghetto supply store (aka Walmart), they had the Ep. 3 CD displayed with a sale price of $11.84. However, when they rang it up it came to $13.88. The explanation was that they just changed the price but forgot to change the display. Too bad, ass munchers, your mistake is not my fault! Needless to say I got it for $11.84. Now if only the day would go by faster so I can go home and listen to it...

  • May 3, 2005, 4:21 p.m. CST

    Hey, Star Wars Fans over 19 years old...

    by uberman

    'L' is for 'LOSER.' You may as well have it tattoed into your forehead.

  • May 3, 2005, 4:26 p.m. CST

    Hey uberman

    by googamooga

    "D" is for "Douchebag" which is what you are. If you don't like Star Wars (which I'm sure is not the case and you are simply trying to incite people), then get the "F" out of here. "F" is for "Fuck" by the way, as in "Fucktard", which is a variation of "uberman".

  • May 3, 2005, 4:26 p.m. CST

    Wow uberman...

    by TheManWho

    Your point is both bitter and self-fulfilling. Enjoy the world of internet trolling, I think you'll fit in well.

  • May 3, 2005, 4:27 p.m. CST

    TIME MAGAZINE HAD A REVIEW OF ROTS

    by JeeBus

    Everyone get an issue of Time magazine. It has a very POSITIVE review of Episode 3. You can't miss it. Darth Vader is on the front cover!

  • May 3, 2005, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Maybe cocolopez got fired from McDonalds and is now working at V

    by ol' painless

    If so, he will be able to claim he is part of the music industry, even as they hand him the toilet plunger. To be released this August: cocolopez brings us his interpretation of a musician, with a spoken word track titled: "I'm a Playa, I got a Record Deal, I got Ho's Coming' Out My Ears." The track concludes with him entering a room and screaming abuse at a room full of strangers. Art imitating life.

  • May 3, 2005, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Anakin's / Vader's last words...

    by uss cygnus

    All reliable reports about ROTS say Anakin's last words before he gets put in the Vader Armor are to Obi-Wan: "I hate you!" And then he screams from the burns inflicted by the lava. Vader's last words before he dies in "Jedi" are: "You already have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister...you were right." I think that no matter how good or bad it's delivered (Given the Lucas track record of bad dialogue) "I hate you!" is about as weak a line of dialogue as Luke's whiney "I was going to go to Taji Station to pick up some power converters!" in ANH. It's the darkest moment in the entire 6 film series, the fall of Anakin Skywalker, and that's his final line outside the Armor? Pathetic. Utterly Pathetic.

  • May 3, 2005, 4:37 p.m. CST

    "Darth Vader is on the front cover!"

    by Right Bastard

    What? I thought they already put out the Ann Coulter issue?

  • May 3, 2005, 5:15 p.m. CST

    ""I was going to go to Toshi Station to pick up some power conve

    by Voice O. Reason

    I love quoting that line to my wife when she wants me to do shit I don't want to do.

  • May 3, 2005, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Time Magazine

    by JeeBus

    Right Bastard, I guess not. Go on Time magazine's website, they have a link called "The Last Star Wars."

  • May 3, 2005, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Tashi Station

    by Right Bastard

    Did they put the Tashi Station scene on the new DVDs? Samshit ("head of Lucasfilm fan relations" and professional kiss-ass) brought it to ComicCon a few years ago. It's the scene where Luke can be seen wearing his infamous Giligan hat. Anyway, I'm really glad they left that scene out of the movie, because it made Luke less like a hick, and more like a dork.

  • May 3, 2005, 5:32 p.m. CST

    sorry, it was Anchorhead, not Tashi Station.

    by Right Bastard

  • May 3, 2005, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Anikan is Darth Vader?!

    by Hail

    Thanks for ruining it!!

  • May 3, 2005, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Oh Stifler's_Mom...

    by TheManWho

    Why you so angry? Did a Star Wars fan molest you as a child or something?

  • He's right, you know.

  • May 3, 2005, 6:28 p.m. CST

    will they explain how Yoda gets to the swamp and why that cave i

    by HypeEndsHere

  • May 3, 2005, 6:40 p.m. CST

    A day late and a dollar short, BAHAMUT-KUN...

    by googamooga

    I posted that almost four hours ago. Don't try to scoop the scoop that I am trying to take credit for.

  • May 3, 2005, 6:45 p.m. CST

    All the music I've heard for episode III is magnificent

    by InBloom

    ...Those people going to see it first at the Leicester Square premiere are too lucky! If I had $800 to spend on one of those eBay tickets to the marathon, I'd be there like a shot!!

  • May 3, 2005, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Han Jabba

    by ZeroCorpse

    I just wanted to throw that out there. Someone is welcome to take that as a screen name: Han Jabba. Think about it. Which would you prefer? A Leia or a Han Jabba?

  • May 3, 2005, 6:59 p.m. CST

    what do you mean its haunted?

    by toddsanzistheman

    yoda's pad is haunted since when? tell me I must know!

  • May 3, 2005, 7:10 p.m. CST

    remember in Empire when Luke visits Yoda?

    by HypeEndsHere

    and he's training and Yoda sends him into the cave and Yoda says something about how that cave is filled with the darkside or something. and Luke goes in there and has a vision where he cuts Vader's head but it's his own head. WTF? if they explain that, i'll see ROTS.

  • May 3, 2005, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Article an Excuse to Beg for Thursday Ticket

    by stlfilmwire

    That's how it read to me. He discussed a product that everyone already knew about. He might as well had it be an article about the new Anakin action figure or the talking Yoda doll. Oh well.

  • The artist formerly known as CocoLopez is now moonlighting from his new name, MARVIN GARDENS. I wish he was back, because God damn I want a combo #5 with Super Sized Fries!!

  • Lucas' trilogy created such a vast empire of devoted fans that any chance to see laser blasts and light sabers sent them flocking to the multiplexes, instantly forgiving the sometimes hammy dialogue and overly theatrical acting for the opportunity to absorb more of the magic. ~ Derek Armstrong, All Movie Guide

  • May 3, 2005, 8:11 p.m. CST

    If Talkbacks Existed in 1983

    by Darth Tater Tot

    I'm so friggin' pissed off at Lucas for putting that fucking muppet in EMPIRE. He ruined the freakin' movie with that shit. Now I hear that Darth Vader is gonna wimp out at the end of JEDI and turn into Uncle Fester. Screw Lucas, he doesn't know what he's doing anymore! Luckily, there will be other good movies this summer. Like SUPERMAN III. Man, Dick Lester knows how to make a great flick, it'll make JEDI look like the shit that it is. And Sean Connery is coming back for what will be the best 007 flick, NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN. That'll be a fuckin' masterpiece. And don't forget the best summer movie of all-KRULL. That flick will make everybody forget about George Lucas and his washed up Star Wars universe.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:18 p.m. CST

    YES!!!! KRULL!!!!! YES!!!! THANK YOU DARTH TATER TOT!!!

    by krullboy

    KRULL--Wow. Where to begin. You have the Cyclops, the gay horses that have flames coming out of them, Liam Neeson as a thief/warrior, the laser bolt firing space aliens, the big monster guy, the moving castle, and best of all, THE DIAMOND ENCRUSTED, 5 ARMED, MEDIEVAL, DEATH DEVICE KNOWN AS "THE GLADE"!!! THE GLADE; YES, YES, YES, YYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSS!!! oooohhhhh fffuuuucckkkkk! I AM KRULLBOY!

  • May 3, 2005, 8:19 p.m. CST

    Luke's Head in the Cave...

    by stlfilmwire

    He went to the cave to face his fear. Ultimately, that fear was that he could become like his father.

  • It seemed more realistic that his hands would be pinned down at that angle if major surgery was going on and he needed to be restrained! But fuck, i am not sure what is going to happen because i am trying to stay spoiler free. What pissed me off was the commercial for the Ep 3 video game that showed Anakin with FORCE LIGHTING! That kinda spoiled things for me. Is Grevious force sensitive? www.warp11.com, best Star Trek band in America! Their new album is out and it's hugely popular!

  • May 3, 2005, 8:23 p.m. CST

    Right On, Anchorite

    by uss cygnus

    Nice comparison with Kirk's death. And let's not forget "Obi Wan is holding me back!". I nearly broke out in hives when I heard that one in AOTC. So let me recap: Anakin turns to the DARK SIDE, betrays the entire Jedi Order, slaughters a dozen Jedi Younglings and then the Separatist Leaders in cold blood, Tries to kill his Jedi Master of nearly 30 years, whom he blames for turning his wife against him, his former master whips his ass, leaves him lying half dead, burning and limbless near a river of lava, and the best comeback Anakin (and GL) has for Obi Wan as he leaves him for dead is... "I HATE YOU!"?!? Uh, waiter? Check, please.

  • May 3, 2005, 8:55 p.m. CST

    I'm Happy To See That KRULL Fandom Is Still Going Strong

    by ZombieSolutions

    the gigantic red hair of the lithe and lovely Lisette Anderson still fills my codpiece with various fluids. and can any weapon ever fill us with awe like the fantabulous Glave? hopefully there will be a prequel trilogy to explore the soul-shattering back story of the the KRULLVERSE. the EFX used to design the Cyclops character have never been equalled in terms of their shear beauty and terror. KRULL is a MINDGASM. Experience it... feel it's power... [that being said, does the new NIN album suck as much as everyone says it does? in terms of ROTS, i'm almost totally spoiler free, except for knowing the stuff that everybody already knows (Anakin = Vader, everyone dies, etc), so, i'm holding back from buying any Star Wars related products or services until after the release.]

  • May 3, 2005, 9:03 p.m. CST

    I Want To See A Violent Resurgence of KRULL Fandom

    by ZombieSolutions

    it was overwhelming in its day -- entire nations quivered in awe and terror of the sheer brilliance os the film; blood was spilled in it's honor, first borns sacrificed on erstaz alters with jury rigged Glave replicas; minds split open; souls ascended; enlightenment swept the land. and then, about a week or so after it was released, it was like it all never happened. the film disappeared as if nobody went to see it at all! the video game manfactured by Midway, all but ignored. what happened to this cinematic revelation? doesn't anyoen remember the crazed, violent, KRULL orgies in the streets? the blood, the heat, the FIRE OF A NEW TESTAMENT IN KRULLS LOVE? the joy and hope we all shared in its glory? can it come back? can it... fill us once again? [i really, really can't wait for ROTS... please be good, please be good...)

  • May 3, 2005, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Whoever edited these segments....

    by Call Me Tbag

  • May 3, 2005, 9:18 p.m. CST

    should edit the films.

    by Call Me Tbag

    I have been blown away.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:22 p.m. CST

    ZombieSolutions and KRULL . . .

    by krullboy

    Yes, I too remember the Krull Conventions in the mid 1980's, in which the Glave was used as an orgy-enabling sex object, not to be outdone by the ass to ass double headed dildo sequence of "Requiem for a Dream". Krull dominated the theaters like no other, and who could forget its epic rebroadcasts on HBO, of which could be played over and over on a sweet 1982 model Beta Max. In fact, Krull just MAY BE THE PREQUEL TO THE PREQUELS!!! Think about it!! Liam Neeson, hiding his true Qui-Gon presence, the Cyclops, obviously a connection to Vagina-faced alien in the Cantina in ANH!!!! The list goes on and on!!!

  • May 3, 2005, 9:25 p.m. CST

    "I'm Moriarty! Feel Bad For Me!"

    by Tron 2.0

    "Oh, I haven't been invited to press screenings. Listen to me whine!" Boo fucking hoo. Just because everyone on this site is willing to give you a hand job doesn't mean the world should too.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:26 p.m. CST

    Choke on this KRULL HATERS!!!!

    by krullboy

    "The indescribable monster and its army the Slayers attack the planet Krull. To be able to stop the invaders two hostile nations decide to join their forces by the marriage of Princess Lyssa and Prince Colwyn. During the ceremony the Slayers attack the palace, kill both kings, wound Colwyn and kidnap Lyssa. At the next morning the wise Ynyr seeks and finds Colwyn. With Ynyr's help Colwn gains possession of a magic weapon the five blade sword and together they go on their quest for the indescribable monster's black fortress to free Lyssa." "From the sky will come the Black Fortress. From the Fortress will come the Slayers to devour the planet of Krull. Then shall a girl of ancient name become queen...she shall choose a king...and together they shall rule the planet. And their son shall rule the galaxy." Ken Marshall .... Prince Colwyn Lysette Anthony .... Princess Lyssa Freddie Jones .... Ynyr Francesca Annis .... Lyssa, Widow of the Web Alun Armstrong .... Torquil David Battley .... Ergo Bernard Bresslaw .... Rell the Cyclops Liam Neeson .... Kegan John Welsh .... The Seer Graham McGrath .... Titch Tony Church .... Turold Bernard Archard .... Eirig Belinda Mayne .... Vella Dicken Ashworth .... Bardolph Todd Carty .... Oswyn

  • May 3, 2005, 9:37 p.m. CST

    Check dis...

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    http://www.starwars.com/community/e...ievous_clip.mov Dunno if it's real or the finished product. Sheet though, I also could easily mistake the REAL Alec Guiness going 'You're move', in here too.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:40 p.m. CST

    and dis...

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    http://www.timeout.com/film/news/393.html Spielberg don't say much. Too me, what he said don't mean shit. But check it anyway.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:45 p.m. CST

    and even dis...

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    http://www.timecanada.com/story.adp?storyid=001&part=1&area= Wish they'd just come out and say how much they did/did not like it. Up their own arse roundabout sophisticated attempt to give a 2 line summary on what they thought of this pesky obsessive film.

  • May 3, 2005, 9:53 p.m. CST

    Jar-Jar Is Ergo the Magnificient's Bitch

    by Darth Tater Tot

    David Battley as Ergo was the best comic relief ever to appear in a fantasy adventure film. When he turns into a fuckin' goose that beats the hell out of "Exsqueeze Me!" and "Icky goo!"

  • May 3, 2005, 9:55 p.m. CST

    . . .and then he transforms into a pig!!!

    by krullboy

    And keep in mind this was all before the shape-shifting sorceress wank that was "Fin Rizel" from the magnificent, epic, nearly LOTR (laugh) "WILLOW"

  • May 3, 2005, 9:57 p.m. CST

    Fin Rizel Had Droopy Tits

    by Darth Tater Tot

    I was expecting a blonde goddess and we got Aunt May naked.

  • May 3, 2005, 10:12 p.m. CST

    Fin Rizel and Mad Mardigan

    by krullboy

    At least we were spared from seeing Mad Mardigan whip out his "Daikini baby maker" and ravage her rectally.

  • May 3, 2005, 10:22 p.m. CST

    Sort of Reviews, Grievous talking...

    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    Guess none of you are interested in my links then?

  • May 3, 2005, 10:29 p.m. CST

    CptKirks2pay. ..

    by krullboy

    The Time link worked out great. If you go to the US version of TIME.com, you have to be a subscriber to read the whole thing. What was the thing from SW.com? I could not get that to work. The TIME review was good; they said the movie was great, which makes me happy considering they ass fisted TPM and AOTC, but I was looking for a more fleshed out review. Thanks for the posts CPT Kirk

  • May 3, 2005, 10:46 p.m. CST

    I don't "has got" mine, yet. I'll wait a LI'L time longer.

    by Mister Man

    "Standing in a long line and wearing a Yoda mask." Answer in the form of a question: "Why can't a geek get laid?"

  • May 3, 2005, 10:48 p.m. CST

    But thanks for the Scott Savol comment

    by Mister Man

    Damn, he could have played Jodi in "The Amityville Horror" remake.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:15 p.m. CST

    Screw Bai Ling...or maybe not....

    by Forestal

    Natalie Portman needs to pose for Playboy.

  • May 3, 2005, 11:57 p.m. CST

    That's like saying, did you see Hitler when he was a kid? How ca

    by Orionsangels

    You're judging Vader as the misguided young man he is in Episode III and asuming he's still that person in ROTJ. It's called Maturing, which is what Anakin/Vader becomes in those 18 years.

  • May 4, 2005, 12:16 a.m. CST

    Like father, like son

    by DarthRicker

    Luke was a whiny bitch in ANH, too. And yet he becomes the savior of the galaxy. Have you ever known any guy in their late teens or early 20's who WASN'T a spiteful crank?

  • May 4, 2005, 12:25 a.m. CST

    You're right anchorite

    by one9deuce

    Making the leap from Hayden Christensen's Anakin to David Prowse's/James Earl Jones' Darth Vader just ain't gonna happen. People who have never seen Star Wars that watch the saga from I to VI will be thinking: WTF!?

  • May 4, 2005, 12:35 a.m. CST

    DarthRicker and OrionsAngels, providing expert analysis. . .

    by krullboy

    I wish I could add to that masterful argument to counter anchorite's take, but I cannot. Suffice it to say, Anakin's whiny, snottiness is what assists in his downfall anchorite--that is Lucas' freaking point!! And Vader's voice is different obviously due to the fact that he is speaking through a respirator/voice projector. Do you think Nedgar Blansky sounded like he does now with his cancer kazoo BEFORE his larynx was surgically removed? NO

  • May 4, 2005, 12:50 a.m. CST

    I got the ST with DVD today. What's interesting is...

    by Orionsangels

    Some of the videos based on Prequel Storylines, actually give off more emotion than they did in the actually movie. You care more. "A HERO RISES" for example. I feel sorry for that little kid and what's going to eventually happen to him. "A FATEFUL LOVE", you actually buy that they're in love. It just seems more sad. It actually works better as a silent movie, hehe. This of course is all thanks to William's powerful score.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:01 a.m. CST

    Star Wars Fans!

    by uberman

    Sorry for the previous post. I'm sure you all get alot of enjoyment from the films and life is too short, so I hope its awesome for the lot of ya. I predict it will be the best of the lot, and I am not a fan-I liked EMPIRE and some of HEDI but thats about it. Again, I should not have posted in this forum as its not my thing, so adios again!

  • May 4, 2005, 1:02 a.m. CST

    OrionsAngels and Williams Music. . .

    by krullboy

    Lucas' vision has always been that the SW films should be considered "silent films", in that the score, and the leitmotifs within the score, tell the story more than the dialogue or action. That's two straight great observations from you, so I guess you win the Limited Edition, Jawa with Cloth Robe action figure----WOOTEEENEE!!!

  • May 4, 2005, 1:07 a.m. CST

    Anakin's bitchiness and Jawas with Cloth Robes

    by DarthRicker

    I think Anakin's whining is the best comic relief of the PT (fuck Jar Jar and 3PO's slapstick). And krullboy, ya got any of them thar Blue Snaggletooths?

  • May 4, 2005, 1:14 a.m. CST

    Nope, no Snaggletooths. . .

    by krullboy

    But I think if I surgically opened my Rancor monster I could find numerous Ugnaughts and Ewoks that have been missing since the Christmas of 1983 in his belly.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:20 a.m. CST

    You can take the ESB cave sequence as a foreshadowing of the fat

    by JackBurton

    Just as was suggested above by Cyber-Tooth. Or you can take it how I personally read it, both at the time, and since, as a warning to Luke that his impatience, recklessness, fear and distrust will ultimately lead him down the path of the Dark Side if he allows those traits to take hold. It was warning him that he could fall just as Vader had done, which impacts even more when you realise that Vader was Luke's father. Or alternatively you can take it both ways, or neither. Up to you really. That's the beauty of a scene that's more visceral and emotional than literal and obviously spelt out.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:23 a.m. CST

    Why wasn't there

    by DarthRicker

    a Vader With Exploding Facemask To Reveal Luke's Face action figure? I'd put it next to my Yoda With Obvious Contact Excitement From Riding On Luke's Back action figure (MISB).

  • May 4, 2005, 1:25 a.m. CST

    krullboy

    by DarthRicker

    Have you checked the Ewok Village With Light-Up Champagne Room?

  • May 4, 2005, 1:35 a.m. CST

    DarthRicker and "Limited Edition" SW Action Figures

    by krullboy

    I don't have the Ewok Village with Champagne Room, but I do have the Jabba Skif with S & M Playset (complete with Leia in Chains), the Corde Hand Maiden with "battle action" Naboo Dildo action figure, the Mace Windu "Jedi Pimpmobile", and the rare, hard to find, Jar Jar tampon applicatot

  • May 4, 2005, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Luke was "whiney" too.

    by Nerdgasm

    Luke was very whiney in my opinion. He was actually kind of a puss. He pissed and moaned through ANH from begining to end. He was a little bitchy towards Yoda. Actually I find Luke as a character to be a little arrogant and condesending. What 17 year old kid do you know that isn't a whiney little prick at times? The point is, there is a big...no make that huge bit of maturation that happens from the age of 16/17 to 20/21. It's kind of why you don't want a junior in collage fucking your 16 year old daughter. So, I will totally be able to buy a much more mature, tougher, no non-sense Anakin turning into a badass mofo.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:42 a.m. CST

    Thanks krullboy and you win my Boba Fett Action Figure, S/N 5265

    by Orionsangels

    No you don't. It's not mine. It's my brothers. That suxers going on Ebay.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:43 a.m. CST

    thanks for making my point, Nerdgasm

    by DarthRicker

    Said the same thing a couple of posts up. No matter. I've also got the Lando Calrissian With Gambler's Anonymous Starter Kit action figure (Millenium Falcon not included) and the best-selling Star Wars boardgame of all time... Do I Have A Penis? And If So, Can You Find It? Game featuring Jabba the Hutt.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:45 a.m. CST

    Now that I posted it and thought about it

    by DarthRicker

    That Lando figure joke is probably the dorkiest thing I've ever typed. Probably.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:50 a.m. CST

    I'll make you a deal Orionsangels. . .

    by krullboy

    I'll take your Boba Fett Action Figure, S/N 526520.00, and I'll give you me Limited Edition, w/ embossed Gold Coin "General Crix Nadine" Action figure, featuring "Battle Damage" and the worst Rebellion wig in the Galaxy. Seriously, that was probably one of the worst SW action figures ever!!! He was always one of the first to die in my backyard, do it yourself, Sarlacc Pit, that I always made with my Dad's post-hole digger. Fucking worthless. . .and just to stay on topic, I believe that ROTS, for reasons some have already specified, will strengthen the whole saga (including PT).

  • May 4, 2005, 1:56 a.m. CST

    Biggest reason

    by DarthRicker

    Star Wars: The Bedsheets

  • May 4, 2005, 2:05 a.m. CST

    HypeEndsHere, JackBurton put it correctly, but I was hoping to s

    by George Newman

    The cave is definitely about revealing to Luke his character of aggression and impatience. Yoda tells him not to bring the weapons into the cave, but luke does it anyway, which revealed fear and/or an offensive nature in him that was characteristic of the Darkside. To Luke, Darth Vader was the representation of the dark side. Because Luke entered the cave with a 'dark' mindset, the cave presented him with a prophecy of the future in which he would be completely consumed with the darkside (-->explains the reveal of luke's face inside the vader suit). That is how luke would end up if he continued on his reckless impatient way. Luke doesn't learn from his lesson immediately,-> he lets his emotions consume him and he leaves dagobah to try and save leia and han. Luke ultimately fails and the bad guys win. The Empire was successful at Striking Back because luke did not learn from the cave. By ROTJ though, he had become a level-headed jedi, which was sweet.

  • May 4, 2005, 2:14 a.m. CST

    George Newman, "Spatula City", and Stanley Spadowski's Mop

    by krullboy

    "George Newman, you are a heartless, thoughtless man, and you can forget the rest of my birthdays, because we are through". . . . that being said, Luke did learn from ESB, but notice that in ROTJ, he is wearing black, just as his father did (does?) in ROTS. Once again, Lucas is "echoing" the father and son. And also, a UHF-SW reference just for you, when Stanley Spadowski is trying to escape the bad guys at channel 8, he uses his mope like a lightsaber, and it even makes the "wwwwooommmm, wwwwooommm" sound when he swings it. God Bless UHF!!

  • May 4, 2005, 2:23 a.m. CST

    riiiiiight - let's see .......

    by banthafodderUK

    ...... how much work i can get out of doing so i can spend all day at aicn motherfuckers. AAAAGGGHHHHH

  • May 4, 2005, 2:30 a.m. CST

    Michelle Heaton sighting. . .

    by krullboy

    BanthafodderUK, any new Michelle Heaton sightings? Any more "Daily Sport" covers?

  • Thought you might enjoy that. Cheers!

  • May 4, 2005, 2:36 a.m. CST

    I have a question:

    by Ribbons

    Okay, so it's well established by now that Darth Vader has a little pad on his suit with a bunch of various buttons on it. Does he ever actually use it? Besides for in fanfics? This isn't me trying to nail Lucas to the wall, by the way, I just thought of it as I was looking at those screencaps.

  • May 4, 2005, 2:56 a.m. CST

    I always assumed...

    by AeroB

    ...it was supposed to be for controlling the life support functions, robotics, etc on his suit. Though it's kind of a stupid design decision to put it right smack in the middle of his chest... but that's the only thing I can imagine the costume designers thinking when they put it on there.

  • May 4, 2005, 2:58 a.m. CST

    worse than the lando figure..........

    by banthafodderUK

    THE FUCKING WORST EVER EVER EVER STAR WARS FIGURE HAD TO BE.................... THE BESPIN GUARD - GOD I HATED THAT CUNT

  • May 4, 2005, 3:02 a.m. CST

    KRULLBOY

    by banthafodderUK

    CHeers for the link to supershadow's slag - her face looks a bit ropey, but i would definitely hang out of the back of her - STILL RATHER LET MICHELLE HEATON PLAY 'LONDONS BURNING' ON MY SKINFLUTE THOUGH MAN ; )

  • May 4, 2005, 3:05 a.m. CST

    THE BUTTONS ON VADER'S CHEST....

    by banthafodderUK

    ISN'T IT OBVIOUS PEOPLE???? ITS AN EARLY SITH MP3 PLAYER - REMEMBER SW IS SET 'A LONG TIME AGO......' SO IT WOULD BE THOUSANDS OF YEARS BEFORE APPLE EVEN STARTED TO THINK ABOUT THE I-POD

  • May 4, 2005, 3:09 a.m. CST

    Bespin Guard and his gay mustache. . .

    by krullboy

    BanthfodderUK, I forgot about that. The Ugnaughts with their little white briefcases sucked as well, so did the Hoth Luke, because his arm was permanently folded at a 90 degree angle. How was he going to fist Leia like that? And yes, Supershadows slag looks a bet weathered like a fishermen's daughter, but I am not complaining about anything else. . . and ROTS will be the 2nd best SW after ESB (just to stay on topic)

  • May 4, 2005, 3:18 a.m. CST

    You're right man

    by banthafodderUK

    ESB is the best film- you never know though, ROTS might even overtake it (if we're lucky)- just have to wait 15 more days!!!! Sounds a bit silly, but how long have we waited for ep3? years and years and years, and this final couple of weeks is taking FUCKING FOREVER. (OH YEAH, I NEARLY FORGOT - THE DEATH STAR DROID FIGURE WAS A PILE OF DOGWANK TOO)

  • May 4, 2005, 3:26 a.m. CST

    Crap figures. . .

    by krullboy

    Am I the only one whose Chewbacca action figure would never stand up on his own? And what the blue fuck was up with the first Yoda action figure that came with an orange snake wrapped around his neck??????????

  • May 4, 2005, 3:31 a.m. CST

    I JUST REMEMBERED ......

    by banthafodderUK

    ....The fucking power droid figure!!! - A FUCKING BLUE SQUARE!!! - SOME LAZY TOY MAKING BASTARD WAS REALLY HAVING A BAD DAY MAN!!

  • May 4, 2005, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Swoop bikes that fell apart. . .

    by krullboy

    My swoop bike from ROTJ was springloaded to display "battle damage". Unfortunately the piece of shit, always "self destructed" with the slightest touch, intentional or not. One question, how many slags kept their "Jabba with Swivel Tail" for those lonely nights? Also, are you glad Liverpool beat Chelsea?

  • May 4, 2005, 3:43 a.m. CST

    SHIT SPEEDER BIKES

    by banthafodderUK

    My speeder bike used to 'self destruct' if you even looked at the fucker. Im soooooooo glad Chelsea lost to Liverpool (although I do have to confess to being a Man Utd fan). Have you seen the new figures/toys out for ep3? I bought one of the new vehicles (FOR MY NEPHEW BEFORE ANYONE TAKES THE PISS) its kind of like a speeder bike seat on top of two legs (like an ATST) - and it walks along on its own BUT ITS SHIT- IT MOVES LIKE AN OLD CLOCKWORK ROBOT - LAZY ARSED TOY MAKERS AGAIN, THIS IS MEANT TO BE 2005

  • May 4, 2005, 3:51 a.m. CST

    SUPERSHADOW'S GIRLFRIEND

    by banthafodderUK

    HAS GOT AN ADAMS APPLE - PERHAPS HIS CHICK IS A HE-SHE/SHE-HE/COCK IN A FROCK

  • May 4, 2005, 3:59 a.m. CST

    Purchasing figures

    by krullboy

    Yeah BanthafodderUK, I bought a ton of stuff for, uh, a friend. Yeah right. I have tons of that crap. Hell, I probably helped finance half the Twinkies that Katy Lucas has consumed.

  • May 4, 2005, 4:19 a.m. CST

    I STILL THINK WE SHOULD SHAVE GEORGE LUCAS

    by banthafodderUK

    THAT MAN HAS MORE CHINS THAN A CHINESE PHONE BOOK AND I FOR ONE WANT TO SEE HIS VAGINA THROAT

  • May 4, 2005, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Remember when music videos were just by rock bands...

    by JRo

    ... and the only reason to buy one was so that you could freeze frame on Tawny Kitaen's nipple-shot?

  • May 4, 2005, 12:45 p.m. CST

    I appreciate you guys stating what the cave signifies

    by HypeEndsHere

    but i knew the POINT of the cave. i actually found it was a little too obvious myself. what i'm saying is why did the cave have that power? why was it dark? i read Splinter of the Mind's Eye and if I remember correctly Yoda killed a dark jedi or something there and that's why the cave is filled with the darkside. i don't know. it'd be nice if this new movie ties that up. i hope this didn't double-post.

  • May 4, 2005, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Vader's "jazz hands"...

    by criderman

    Actually, George Mucus should have CGI'd a couple of fingers onto the hands instead of removing them so Darth Dio would've been "throwing metal" after he was raised from the Dark Jiffy Lube--that way, Jack Black as Luke could air guitar him over who would be the best Jedi Master ("meister"?)...

  • May 4, 2005, 9:47 p.m. CST

    I Was Invited to a Screening of ROTS Tonight

    by Darth Tater Tot

    But I decided to stay home and watch KRULL for the 897th time instead. I need my Lysette Anthony fix, and I needed to see Freddie Jones beard blowing all freaky in the wind again. Best effect ever.

  • May 5, 2005, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Krull??? What's the big deal about Krull???

    by RedScab

    I vaguely remember it. Someone refresh my memory......

  • May 5, 2005, 12:15 p.m. CST

    wasting away

    by neosporing

    on couches

  • Nov. 18, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    In margaritaville

    by orcus

    Orcus had to add that

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