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Hawiaiian screening of XXX: STATE OF THE UNION leaves audience with a Twinkie feeling...
Howdy from the Great Lone Star State! Father Geek here, just back from an advance screening of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy... a very very FUN flick...This was in my morning mail from a Honolulu reader...
Aloha from the 50th State! Just back from an advance screening of XXX: STATE OF THE UNION. My wife and I “lucked” into this screening as we were leaving the theater having just watched the wonderfully sublime KUNG-FU HUSTLE. A radio station flunkie (radio stations often sponsor advance screenings here in Honolulu) intercepted us in the lobby on our way out, waving the screening passes in front of our faces. We made an abrupt 180 and headed into the auditorium that was screening the film. It was barely half full, with five minutes to go until show time. Apparently, a lot of people knew what we didn’t.
Let me just say that seeing XXX: STATE OF THE UNION right after KUNG-FU HUSTLE was a little bit like scarfing down a Twinkie for dessert after a fine filet mignon main course. Here’s the quick and dirty:
Top Three Things That Worked
* The opening sequence, featuring a bunch of black-ops type soldiers (who look a lot like Snake Eyes from G.I. JOE) converging on a farmhouse which turns out to be the headquarters of the NSA’s XXX division was pretty cool, albeit too brief (unlike this run-on sentence).
* Samuel Jackson. True, his ubiquitous presence seems to be diluting a bit of the man’s star power as of late, but what the hey, he’s Samuel Jackson fer cryin’ out loud!
* Scott Speedman, in the role of NSA Agent Kyle Steel, was surprisingly effective. Probably the second best performance in this film.
Top Three Things That Didn’t Work
* Ice Cube. He’s comfortable in front of the camera, that’s for sure, but he’s 100% completely unbelievable as an ex-Navy Seal/super-soldier/badass.
* Willem Dafoe. It’s as if Norman Osborn had wandered into this film; the look, the diction, the mannerisms, EVERYTHING! I half-expected to see a wall panel slide away, revealing the gleaming Goblin armor.
* The pacing. Following the aforementioned opening sequence and the prison break sequence shortly thereafter, the pace slows to a crawl until the ending assault on the Capitol sequence. But by then, I (and most of the audience, it seemed) didn’t care anymore. Blame it on the poor direction by Lee Tamahori. Shame really, as this is the man who brought us DIE ANOTHER DAY, easily the best of the Brosnan-era Bond films.
Bottom Line:
Do yourself a favor and SKIP this film. If you are desperate to see something this weekend, and you’ve already seen everything out there, go see KUNG-FU HUSTLE again. You’ll be glad you did.
If you use this, I am Rhavokk
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+ Expand All
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And I don't know why (plus my talkback keeps breaking)
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HAHA
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Okay, we weren't but I just read on Drudge that Brosnan will be back for Casino Royale.
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Did this guy see GoldenEye?!?!
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Die Another Day is a wierd Bond film. First 45 minutes are top banana. After 007 gets to Iceland it turns to total rat shit. Tamahori was the one who pushed for all the terribleness in the second half which is so bad it makes you forget how good the fist half was. Tamahori fucked that film royally !!!
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Once were warriors was great, The Edge was quite enjoyable but Die Another Day and now this piece of shit? WTF dude.
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Horrible, horrible effects. And I know Bond is fantasy, but an invisible car? The film is like a cartoon.
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Apr 27, 2005 11:51:04 AM CDT
Ice Cube wore a "XXX State of the Union" t-shirt on the Daily Sh
by forestal
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Apr 27, 2005 11:51:06 AM CDT
Ice Cube wore a "XXX State of the Union" t-shirt on the Daily Sh
by forestal
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1. Goldeneye---2.Die Another Day---3.The World Is Not Enough---4.Tomorrow Never Lives errr Tomorrow Never Dies
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Three words. THE - INVISIBLE - CAR. Honestly that was ridiculous. As for Gustav Graves ... even my Korean friends thought it was too stupid to be offended by that bit of plotting. Plastic surgery's not *that* good/bad ...
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Cause he... hehe... with the... yeah.
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Forget Ice Cube, you need guys that are believable doing over-the-top stunts...hence STALLONE and SCHWARZENEGGER...still to this day!!! RAMBO IV and TRUE LIES II will deliver on that. No one to this day has replace both Sly or Arnold, that is actually quite funny!
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Apr 27, 2005 12:47:42 PM CDT
I dont buy Ice Cube as a badass either and that is the fatal fla
by spacesheik
hollywood, pls cast well next time
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Apr 27, 2005 12:50:00 PM CDT
I agree Dude when Bond reaches iceland in DAD it turns into crap
by spacesheik
oh and that horrible CGI shot of him parasailing the audiences were laughing so hard at the fakery of the scene - whats wrong with producers? dont they have quality control? they spend 140 million on a film and cant fix a fucking CGI shot that eventually ruins the film?!!
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I hated Die Another Day in large part because she was in that film. What an atrocious actress. Anyone who saw her stumbling through her performance in that film could see the stink lines coming off Catwoman a mile away.
As for Ice Cube, he was halfway amusing as a tough guy in Ghosts of Mars, but he's too pudgy and sardonic to be a real action star. The first XXX wasn't even that great to begin with, so it's not clear to me what was desperately screaming for a sequel to a 007 derivative film in the first place. -
Apr 27, 2005 1:04:15 PM CDT
Spacesheik is a RACIST. He says that a black lead is the 'fatal
by jossisgod
Wow, with that kind of racism I'm surprised you're not posting at kkk.com. Bloody hell, step into the 21st century, blacks are equals now.
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Apr 27, 2005 1:05:49 PM CDT
Ice Cube wore a "XXX State of the Union" SWEATshirt on the Daily
by 800bullets
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Had to be said.
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Because I fondly remember Harry, amongst others, praising the script for XXX2 with having great characters for "Cube" and Jackson. That gave me SOME semblance of hope that Simon Kinberg, writer of this, Fantastic 4, X3 and about nineteen other doomed films, didn't suck. But now after reading this and the interview where Kinberg went as far as saying that XXX2 was a "political thriller" I think he's either, nuts, a hack, stupid or all three. Doesn't bode well for X3 or Fantastic 4. But hell, I wasn't expecting much from either in the first place. Because I don't mind a misfire, but a self glorified over-priced series of misfires. That really can't speak well of Kinberg's oncoming (and hopefully short) writing career.
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... and his stunt team?
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This movie would be better with Tom Servo in it.
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The same Bond film with Halle Berry? The same Bond film with Madonna and her horrid "accent"? The same Bond film with an invisible car? The same Bond film in which there was talk of disguising people by replacing their DNA? If this is the best recent Bond film, what has the series come to?
http://thefount.blogspot.com -
"Yeah, I did like, 80, 90% of the stunts myself!" Sorry Cube, balancing multiple plates at the buffet line doesn't technically qualify at a "stunt." *friendswithbenefits.com*
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Fuck Amerikkka, still with the triple K! Mister, Mister, before you make me go, I'm here to let you know your little daughter is a ho. Nympo, nympho, boy is she bad...Get her all alone and out comes the kneepads. Oh man she can take on three men built like He-Man, her little bitty twat got gallons of semen! Forget about a dog, fool, he'll only shit in the den. Nowadays, a Gat is man's best friend. When I got my AK I dn't need a fucking K-9. I don't just wanna give your ass rabies, I'd rather have your ass pushing up dasies! And I can't do that with Benji, Rin Tin Tin or Spuds McKenzie. (Just don't let me see you shoot no dogs!) He's the wrong nigga to fuck with!!!
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Apr 27, 2005 2:59:32 PM CDT
Frozen Water's appearance on TDS made me not want to see this m
by forestal
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At least, that's what every ad on TV is saying. Oh wait, I forgot, I couldn't care less. Out of interest, any Koreans hotly anticipating this Ice Cube vehicle?
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Probably ages old, but in case ya'll haven't seen it...
http://www.empireonline.co.uk/site/gallery/ViewImage.asp?GID=318&GIID=2513 -
casting Ice Cube was the "fatal flaw in the film". He was referring to the individual, to the actor they cast. Nowhere in his post does he mention race. You, on the other hand, focus not on the actor but on his skin colour. You are the one who made it about race. Clearly, if anyone here is a racist, it is you!
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Apr 27, 2005 3:53:24 PM CDT
Please tell me how a white silverspoon fed actor from the Sub-bu
by onyx73
I don't see the logic in everybodys claims. A real life tough guy like Ice Cube isn't believe able. But some some scrawny lanky ass playboy like pierce brosnan is considerd as the "IDEAL" tough guy. You guys are fucking stupid.
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Apr 27, 2005 3:56:26 PM CDT
Ice Cube wore a "I Wish That I Could Be Vin Diesel" t-shirt on t
by slobmyknob
stick to the hippity hop.
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Ice Cube aint tough. How many Navy SEALS have you seen who carry around a spare tire and cut hair for a living? It doesn't matter if he can't act for shit either, nobody cares that Arnold can't act, it's about big muslces, real big guns, real big explosions, and naked women. XXX 2 is just a pudgy former rapper who lost his edge years ago with the main action sequence being entirely CG. Arnold didn't need a bunch of CG back in the glory days.
Bond is another animal, btw. He's supposed to be suave and sophisticated, not half retarded. If that was the case, they would have made Arnold or Sylvester James Bond years ago. -
In his next project, the F*** the Police dude is having a bake-off with Martha Stewart. This movie will SUCK even by today's RIDICULOUSLY LOW STANDARDS OF SUCKING. The green screen shots in the trailer are SO SHABBY it would've been more fun if they'd just left the green screen itself in. Hey, here's some fun for you - next (500) time(s) you see the commercial ... when the truck hits the bottom of the ocean behind Cube ... imagine how fast that truck should ACTUALLY be going ... most of us have seen something sink to the bottom of the ocean at one time or another. SHABBBBBBB-BY!!!!!
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He wasn't in a gang, never got in trouble with the police, certainly wasn't a 'gangsta'. Much like most 'gangsta rappers', he is full of shit. And no. He never did time. As for real-life tough guys being more believable compared to 'lanky ass playboys', please. It's called acting. NOTE: this post in no way endorses Vin Diesel, either.
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... My Korean friends generally don't go for this stuff. In fact, most of the top box office films in Korea are locally made. They didn't immediately dismiss the idea of Scarlett Johannson as the lead in any remake of My Sassy Girl though (if she were to be cast) - apart from the merits of actually making such a film.
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at least i dont remember anything about it.
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Stop being a retarded troll, you're as bad as Jossisgod posting that lame shit on multiple TB's
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Apr 27, 2005 7:51:47 PM CDT
Ice Cube wore a "2 in the Pink, 1 in the Stink" sweatshirt on th
by darkbastion
This is the dumbest/funniest thread on AICN in about 3 years.
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Apr 27, 2005 8:07:20 PM CDT
No surprise that Sam The Man's the only worthwhile thing in XXX2
by frankdrebin
The scenes with him in the 'diner' and the concert hall are all that's watchable from the first movie.
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Apr 27, 2005 8:15:54 PM CDT
I saw Ice Cube on the Daily Show wearing a sweatshirt that said,
by mr. poohgas
The legend continued ... it had to be done!
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I was so pissed at Die Another Day. Yes, the invisible car is about as lame as some of the shit in Moonraker (another suck ass Bond film, EXCEPT for the pre-title action sequence, which is arguably the best of the entire series). Ironic, isn't it?!! I know he's pretty old now, but I would really dig a director like Terence Young to come out of retirement and direct Casino Royale. It would be so fitting, because he directed the first Bond film, Dr. No. Oh well...I'm sure Martin Campbell will do a fine job. I really think EON Productions need to go the For Your Eyes Only route this time, after DAD, similar to what they after Moonraker.
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The real debate is why is William Dafoe playing the bad guy and not Morgan Freeman ? I know why, there are no black bad guys in movies, except for like Sahara which I thought was amazing to witness
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And Flavor Flav will be the "Q" character in the next XXX, starring Gary Coleman in the Sam Jackson role, and Vanilla Ice as the new secret agent. . . CHECK OUT THE HOOK WHILE MY DJ REVOLVES
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The first movie spewed chunks and this one looks much fucking worse. I can't wait to miss it.
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"You, my friend, are no Vin Diesel...Brother."
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Apr 27, 2005 11:24:52 PM CDT
I Wore an "Ice Cube" shot last sweatshirt on the Daily Show
by dr_dreadlocks
I was immediately kicked off the stage and shot. But damn, it was worth every second.
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Apr 28, 2005 1:33:27 AM CDT
I wore a "I was First on an AICN Talkback" shirt to the DMV toda
by iamjacksuserid
Sadly, it did not help me get service any faster.
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wtf everyone liking that so much for?
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stick to the horrible poetry and copy/paste beats.pass the info on to chump-change while your at it.
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best post on this thread
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I love Ice Cube, when he knows his limits. Another example of a role that could have gone to a young Black actor without marquee power if only Hollywood knew how to write. OK If Ice Cube had the chops of a Jamie Foxx, or a Clive Owen etc.. Maybe it could work. But as much as I admire him, acting isn't about a face.. it's about having someone completely believable in the role. Everytime he speaks I see a man who was plucked from the street, who is stuck there for ever. An actor has to be versitale in my opinion for this type of role, he isn't. Thats what hurt this one imo. That and well, usual predictable Hollywood spoon fed "fluff." Challenge your audience! We aren't all low attention span nimwits..
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Apr 28, 2005 9:06:05 AM CDT
Ice Cube wore an "I Drank a Beer and Cheated on my Wife" T-shirt
by kentucky colonel
You can New-Jack swing from my nuts!
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"Not too tight back there am I . . . brother?"
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Jarv, you have let AICN down, the talkback down, the UK down and worst of all you have let yourself down. tut tut
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Jarv, you have let AICN down, the talkback down, the UK down and worst of all you have let yourself down. tut tut
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Yeah, we know that means you acutally liked William Shatner in that role and probably watch the DVDs in your mom's basement.
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Apr 29, 2005 1:08:33 AM CDT
Jarv wore a "I was Racist on an AICN talkback" shirt out today a
by iamjacksuserid
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