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Kevin Smith freaks out over REVENGE OF THE SITH! Posts Early Review!

Hey folks, Harry here - This weekend, George Lucas holds his annual digital summit at SKYWALKER RANCH where he brings in the top filmmakers in the world and begins his updating regarding the world of digital filmmaking... his mission to complete remove alchemy from the process of filmmaking. Filmmakers like Steven Spielberg, James Cameron, Robert Rodriguez, Francis Ford Copolla, Frank Darabont, Kerry Conran, Robert Zemeckis and many, many more will be hitting the ranch. Some of them famous for their Digital filmwork, some left doubting it's merits. The highlight this weekend is George's exhibition of STAR WARS: REVENGE OF THE SITH. Even now in Australia, Bryan Singer is shooting SUPERMAN RETURNS with the new Digital Camera dubbed "The Genesis Camera" which you can see some images from at BlueTights.Net So after this weekend we might be hearing the praises of REVENGE OF THE SITH from a great many fan-fave filmmakers, but for now... there's one voice shining out with pure unadulterated geek love for REVENGE OF THE SITH - and that's Kevin Smith! There's Spoilers galore in his review - but if you're a doubting Thomas - he's basically throwing down the glove saying this is "quite simply, fucking awesome." Here's a taste - you'll have to hit his site for the rest:


You've been warned...

- "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying. As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker - from the triggering of Order 66 (which has all the Shock Troopers turning on the Jedi Knights they've been fighting beside throughout the Clone Wars and gunning them down), to the jaw-dropping Anakin/Obi Wan fight on Mustafar (where - after cutting his legs and arm off, Ben leaves Skywalker burning alive on the shores of a lava river, with Anakin spitting venomous sentiments at his departing mentor), this flick is so satisfyingly tragic, you'll think you're watching "Othello" or "Hamlet".

I saw a gorgeous digitally projected version of the flick, and lemme tell ya': this is a beautiful looking film. The opening space battle sequence is the best in any of the six "Star Wars" movies. Grievous and Kenobi's lightsaber duel is bad-ass, with Grievous rocking four sabers. The Clone Wars end rather early in the flick (about the halfway point), leaving the rest of the film to concentrate on Anakin's turn to the Dark Side, and the resulting slaughter of the Jedi.

Click Here To Read The Rest Of Kevin's Ecstatically Positive Take On REVENGE OF THE SITH!

Readers Talkback
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  • April 27, 2005, 8:32 a.m. CST


    by Sheeld

    Anticipation is reaching fever pitch!

  • April 27, 2005, 8:33 a.m. CST

    Wow - would be cool if it IS genuine

    by Charlie & Tex

  • I must be fucking nuts.

  • April 27, 2005, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Begun this talkback has...

    by JackBurton

    And shouldn't Smith had stayed silent, I mean he's not known as Talky Bob is he? Funny he got to see it early...hmm, wonder if anything should be read into that? Probably not. Anyways be interesting to read just what he has to say, even if I'm not amongst those who think Kevin Smith is God.

  • April 27, 2005, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Top film makers

    by Volta

    "Hey folks, Harry film makers...Steven Spielberg, James Cameron, Robert Rodriguez, Francis Ford Copolla, Frank Darabont, Kerry Conran, Robert Zemeckis...". Spot the odd one out. Or, spot the one whose film Harry's producing...

  • April 27, 2005, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Damn spoilers!!!

    by Fart_Master_Flex

    I didn't know Obi Wan was going to fight Anakin!!!

  • April 27, 2005, 8:43 a.m. CST

    So I guess it's "dark"

    by PhilConnors

    Since "dark" does not equal "good" in my taste for movies, I'll still keep my expectations realistic.

  • April 27, 2005, 8:45 a.m. CST

    I was 9 when Star Wars was released. I have hated the prequels.

    by Barry Egan

    I think that the misconception of the prequel "haters" is that we hate Star Wars. Nope. Loved the first trilogy. Have been horribly disappointed by the two new films. I hope that Lucas knocks this one out of the park. I want Lucas to knock this one out of the park.

  • April 27, 2005, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Volta, that's pretty funny.

    by Barry Egan

  • April 27, 2005, 8:46 a.m. CST

    *** SPOILER AHEAD ***

    by banthafodderUK

    Apparently, Vader is Lukes dad!!! fuuuuuuuuuck!

  • April 27, 2005, 8:51 a.m. CST

    smooch smooch smooch

    by jamawalk

    i'm sure that his high-praise for the film has NOTHING to do with his involvement in one of the two Star Wars teevee shows on the way that will no doubt also suck.

  • April 27, 2005, 8:58 a.m. CST

    The Star Wars comic ...

    by Shan

    I just want to make sure I wasn't imagining things ... I know from the films that stormtroopers are all clones but I remember a comic where a couple of troopers had their helmets off and were busy having a smoke for most of the issue. Now that really existed didn't it? I didn't just imagine it did I? ...

  • April 27, 2005, 9:22 a.m. CST

    There is no way that the bashers will like this movie

    by Razorback

    They will complain that the movie is too dark. They will complain that Lucas has gone too far with how disturbing it is... I predicted this line of complaints months ago. I guarantee that it will happen.

  • April 27, 2005, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Waiting for SirBiatchReturns and MinisTirithII. . .

    by krullboy

    Well, now that a non-poster has commented on ROTS, I can't wait to see what the 2 illustrious, aforementioned posters will have to say. SirBiatch will somehow bring "White Chicks" into the conversation, explaining that it is a riff on the "Star Wars is racist" discussion at the comic convention at the beginning of "Chasing Amy". Minas TirithII will set the record for posts on this Talk Back, which will serve as his personal warmup for all the hate filled, novel-length posts he will send in once Harry reviews ROTS, or Minas Tirith himself sees it in a theater. Does Vegas take bets on the number of posts Minas Tirith will have? My bookie says over 20, with odds 2 to 1. . .oh wait, NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS!!!

  • April 27, 2005, 9:30 a.m. CST

    There is always going to be.....

    by banthafodderUK

    ......someone who will complain about it - fuck 'em I say. Basically, all I want to see is how sidious makes his move, how the jedi get all but wiped out, and anakin getting his balls deep fried. We're gonna get at least that aren't we? So I'll be happy. (PS where's minus penis2 been lately? )

  • April 27, 2005, 9:36 a.m. CST

    hopefully this means Smith involved in the TV show

    by ChorleyFM

    How else would he be able to go see this small screening or marketing people.

  • April 27, 2005, 9:38 a.m. CST


    by coen_fan

    All of my doubts about this movie have just vanished. So what if this is a plant. I don't even care about the crappy dialogue that will no doubt occur, or Christensen's wooden performance. SHOW ME THE LAVA!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • April 27, 2005, 9:43 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    I agree mate (although I do like taking the piss out of the gay hobbits). Im getting better and better feelings about this film though, I reckon we'll be in for a treat. Fingers crossed

  • April 27, 2005, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Digital killed the Celluloid Star.

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    Are they ever going to make a digital camera that accurately captures human skin tones or our we all doomed to seeing pasty faced actors on screen for the rest of eternity? (And yes, I know they haven't actually used celluloid film stock in decades.)

  • April 27, 2005, 9:49 a.m. CST

    ok, I'll take Smith's word for it...


    ...because there are some SERIOUS fucking spoilers in that thing. I couldn't read any more for fear of ruining it for myself.

  • April 27, 2005, 9:52 a.m. CST

    didnt he also give a positive early review for attack of the clo

    by dr.bulber

    unclear is the memory of the mind that is seeking to remember, it is.

  • April 27, 2005, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Anyone read the story on

    by JohnGalt2005

    where Lucas is quoted as having a terrible time writing this movie, "forcing" himself to do it? Not a good sign. I would trust Kevin Smith a lot more if he had ever made a good movie........

  • April 27, 2005, 9:59 a.m. CST


    by Dannychico

    Yeah, and he loved AOTC.

  • April 27, 2005, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Volta, that's VERY funny!!

    by payton 34


  • April 27, 2005, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Uhhh Kevin Smith is not to be trusted

    by DSB1369

    He ranked The Phantom Menace right behind Empire in his review for that. Heed my warning!

  • April 27, 2005, 10:08 a.m. CST

    You are a liar

    by Razorback

    He said nothing about TPM being right being Empire. Why do assholes like you love to spread misinformation? He actually said that he saw TPM, liked it, and when asked later if he saw it again he said he didn't need to. He liked AOTC and wrote a great review of it. He never said he thought it was right behind Empire. So stop making shit up.

  • April 27, 2005, 10:08 a.m. CST

    What .... no Ewoks ?

    by 6pPictures

    Wont we get to see those fuzzy little munchkins once again? Maybe, they where really just midget Wookies abandend by the big Wookies and they all get back together in this last flick to add some happy goodness to the darkness.

  • April 27, 2005, 10:19 a.m. CST

    NOTHING will redeem

    by proevad

    a: The muppet show in Jabba's lair b: Ewoks c: The picnic/cow riding scene in AOTC I'm holding out hope though. First in line at midnight (again).

  • April 27, 2005, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Razorback you dumb cunt

    by DSB1369 " Of the film, I can say many things. But the long and short of it is that I liked it - quite a bit. I'd rank it right after 'Empire' in a list of fave 'Star Wars' flicks. It starts great, ends great, and has great stuff sprinkled in between." What now little beyotch?

  • April 27, 2005, 10:30 a.m. CST


    by John-Locke

    I've got some action pics of Vader with a Lightsabre but they might have been promotional or something. Anybody know, maybe we get a montage of Lord Vader's destruction.

  • April 27, 2005, 10:31 a.m. CST

    There's a fun interview with Smith, Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright

    by Lone Fox

    They discuss the SW films, likes and dislikes etc. All very open, and after reading Smiths views on the prequels and special editions, I think his Sith review can be trusted... mostly!

  • April 27, 2005, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Razorback gets Douched!!!!

    by proevad


  • April 27, 2005, 10:37 a.m. CST

    For Razorback and anyone else anticipating a "hate" storm:

    by Childe Roland

    I highly doubt you'll hear anyone who has "hated" (a really strong word, by the way) the first two prequels complaining that the third is too dark. The chief complaint of anyone who professes to still love Star Wars but not the prequels so far (aside from the obvious and admitted-by-Lucas-to-be-accurate criticisms of convoluted, boring story and weak character development) has been that the first two films were dumbed down and sugar-coated for easy digestion by a child audience. If Sith does the opposite of that and finally tells the meat (60% by Lucas' estimation) of the story we've been waiting to hear for 20+ years, I suspect you'll get a lot of "Wow! Who knew Lucas had a film like this in him after those first two shitfests?" posts. And I suspect that won't be good enough for a lot of the die-hards who apparently enjoyed Menace and Clones. They'll say we all need to admit that, when taken as a whole, the prequel trilogy "owns your collective hater asses" and that simply won't be true. No matter how good Sith is (and I hope it's quite good), it won't make Menace or Clones better films than they are (and the first is piss poor while the second is just so-so in the tradition of Jedi). I know it's going to boggle some minds, but it is possible to enjoy some portions of an artist's work without enjoying others as much. It's even possible to "hate" something someone has done and love something else (but we all know what hate leads to, so let's just call it a general distaste for what the writer/director has admitted was sub-standard film making so far). Rather than focus on the negative, I am going to try some positive reinforcement here. I'm pulling for you with this latest film, George. Do a good job... DO A GOOD JOB!

  • April 27, 2005, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Caveat Emptor

    by darthferris

    Remember, this is the guy who said "Phantom Menace" was the second best SW film after Empire.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Cautiously optimistic

    by Mr_Furious

    But then again.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:03 a.m. CST


    by mr_shoreditch

    This film sounds sick, like some kind of galactic snuff movie? What are we gonna have next? Gambling on illegal fight-to-the-death matches between Jawas? Have you heard about Empire's Darth Vader 'breathing' cover in the June 2005 issue?

  • April 27, 2005, 11:04 a.m. CST


    by mr_shoreditch

    This film sounds sick, like some kind of galactic snuff movie? What are we gonna have next? Gambling on illegal fight-to-the-death matches between Jawas? Have you heard about Empire's Darth Vader 'breathing' cover in the June 2005 issue?

  • April 27, 2005, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Oh, to have been a fly on the wall . . .

    by Nice Marmot

    . . . and not only preview ROTS but also witness Steven Spielberg, James Cameron, Robert Rodriguez, Francis Ford Copolla, Frank Darabont, Kerry Conran, and Robert Zemeckis bite their tongues in attempts to not laugh at the inevitably horrible dialogue we'll get in between the explosions.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Gotta Agree With Bary Egan

    by Sean38

    I don't hate Star Wars in the least. I LOVE Star Wars. I even love Return of the Jedi which a lot of the real haters hate. I wouldn't even say I "hated" the prequels, I was just very disapointed in them. The siliness. The lack of a compelling space battle. The monotone acting. Lines like, "I'm quite beside myself." I bought the DVDs just to have them, but I've never watched them. The original trilogy DVDs I've watched several times. I think most of us that others would lable "haters" are praying that Revenge of the Sith is a return to form. Because we don't hate Star Wars, we LOVE Star Wars. That's why we care.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Remember what he said about Phantom Menace...

    by Blacket-Man

    and I quote, "Of the film, I can say many things. But the long and short of it is that I liked it - quite a bit. I'd rank it right after 'Empire' in a list of fave 'Star Wars' flicks. It starts great, ends great, and has great stuff sprinkled in between."

  • April 27, 2005, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Kevin Smith sucks--

    by Jar Jar 4 Prez

    and so do all his movies. But he's right about one thing: This movie's gonna rule! At least his review shows us that not all illiterate slackers need to be haters. I've got tickets to 6 showings already.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:27 a.m. CST


    by Right Bastard

    I can't read this because I'm avoiding spoilers (in the fleeting hope that this film might actually be good). I just wanted to point out that Smith loved TPM, thought JarJar was a good idea, and made Jersey Girl. I think I'd be more interested in reading Rodriguez's review. Or Simon Peggs' and Edgar Write's opinions. Or Mark Hamill's, since he's said how much is doesn't like the PTs. I want a real cynic's review of this film.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:27 a.m. CST

    Am I crazy?

    by dr_dreadlocks

    Or was I just asked to pay two dollars to post/read Kevin Smith's Askewniverse board? Since when was Smith a cash whore? Oh, right, yes. Since the toys, the toys.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:29 a.m. CST

    one more thing:

    by Jar Jar 4 Prez

    Please keep Kevin Smith far, far away from the Star Wars TV show at all costs.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Screw Kevin Smith. If he has time to watch this movie, he has t

    by Heywood Jablowme

  • April 27, 2005, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Kevin's Full Blog...

    by BradP

  • April 27, 2005, 11:55 a.m. CST

    It's not all that bad...

    by Sir Not

    To all those who hate the prequels, you are not looking at things from the right perspective.

  • April 27, 2005, noon CST

    What's worse than 'plant'?

    by UES

    Kevin Smith likes Star Wars? Shocking! Yes, a review from the least critical reviewer EVER (I'm including Harry "Godzilla Rocks" Knowles in this pool) is just the kind of objective viewpoint I am looking for. Kevin, speak up, it sounds like you have something in your mouth. Something attached to George Lucas. Do I get Jay and Silent Bob to come to my house now to beat me up in your next flop movie? "Snoochie Boochies".

  • April 27, 2005, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Razorback's Demise

    by proevad

    now if we can just shut up bartertown and minas, these forums might actually be fun to read again. Top Ten Rejected Star Wars Characters 10. Oprah the Winfrey 9. 10-10-321, The Telephone Droid 8. Tae Bo 7. Captain Overhype 6. Ol' Dirty Ewok 5. Bobadan Milosovic 4. R2 Deepak Chopra 3. Sticky, the Talking Piece of Chewing Gum 2. Obi Wan Jacobi and Meyers 1. Star Jones

  • April 27, 2005, 12:08 p.m. CST


    by Razorback

    Shut me up? Why? Because I don't live on this site? No, I see that he proved me wrong, which is cool. The thing is, I was under the impression (based on something Mewes said) that Kevin had said ROTS was "as good as Empire." So when the dude talked about TPM I was following my own silly bit of misinformation and confusing myself. So he "owned" me with his info. :) However, I wasn't posting because I am also living the other portion of my life that isn't on this board (I know, I am nutty like that). So, Kevin did say the same thing about TPM. Strange, since he liked AOTC more but didn't say that about it.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:09 p.m. CST

    it`s dark?

    by drjones

    so i need to see some damn blood

  • April 27, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST

    The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated

    by Razorback

    Amusing. Anyway, I have no problem standing up to my mistake and owning it.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST

    I'm glad he liked it

    by TimBenzedrine

    But it's not going to affect my opinion one way or another. Kevin Smith's taste is in his ass. I'll reserve my judgement, like everyone else. This is probably my last Star Wars related post. Love it / hate it--it's all been said before, let's just get it over with.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Link to interview

    by Phimseto

    Anyone have a link to the Pegg/Wright/Smith interview?

  • April 27, 2005, 12:20 p.m. CST

    I'm glad he liked it

    by TimBenzedrine

    But it's not going to affect my opinion one way or another. Kevin Smith's taste is in his ass. I'll reserve my judgement, like everyone else. This is probably my last Star Wars related post. Love it / hate it--it's all been said before, let's just get it over with.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:20 p.m. CST

    So tired of hearing TPM wasn't bad because it was "necessary"

    by Gheorghe Zamfir

    There may be plot points that occurred throughout the length of two films that are necessary for one film, but that doesn't make those two films good storytelling. A movie is either a good movie or its not, it doesn't get an excuse because in the process of a bad movie some exposition was delivered that may make another movie better.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:25 p.m. CST

    That is a nice opinion

    by Razorback

    But the process of movie making isn't written in stone. So the millions of people who liked TPM are no less right about their joy than you are about your dislike for it. Movie criticism is subjective and any absolute about an opinion is nutty... and many of you think that your negative opinion (which still represents the minority opinion) is absolutely correct. TPM was liked by more people than disliked it. That is based on empiric data not subjective Internet babble.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:29 p.m. CST


    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    Who the Fuck is BanthafodderUK, and why does he constantly wind us up by going ***SPOILERS AHEAD*** Only to tell us Darth vader is Luke's father? If he keeps on saying that I'm gonna beat the shit outta him. Does anyone else agree with me on this? Come on, who's with me? I want a real spoiler, like the reason why Yoda is such 'close' pals with Chewbacca in this film, is that he's the right height to chew on Chewie's todger, and to pick the Klingons out of his hairy buttox. PS. When I buy a dog, I'm gonna call him Buttox. Great name eh?

  • April 27, 2005, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Just giving you a hard time man

    by proevad

    i knew you'd be back. that was funny though. the only thing i have concerns over now is how bad the moving platform in the lava scene looks in the trailer. of course lucas will fix this 10 years down the road, but i was hoping it would look cooler than it does. btw, peter jackson needs to go fix the "legolas on the cave troll", and the "warg battle" scene. yes, i like both trilogies. shame on me.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:35 p.m. CST

    A couple of questions for the hardcore geeks

    by proevad

    what was the name of the pet monster that luke kills in jabba's pit? why, when lucas went back to redo the OT didn't he fix how freaking fake that scene looks? j/w. thanks.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:35 p.m. CST


    by Koyaanisqatsi

    saying that a movie is a favorite movie is not NEARLY the same as saying it's a good movie. fuck, i like watching the shitfest of wolfgang's Airforce One. but i freely admit that it's not a great movie. but damn, it's still a shut the fuck up all you kevin smith bashers, the guys has more brains than pretty much all of you combined i bet.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:35 p.m. CST

    You can't like LOTR and Star Wars, didn't you get the memo?

    by Razorback

    I also like Matrix Reloaded... I missed that memo. ;) What is kind of funny is how the same group of dipshits run around the Net telling people what they should and should not like thinking that they are made cooler by following a perceived trend. Listen, I am a major geek but you are a total dweeb. Dweebs represent people like Clay Aiken. Geeks are people like Steve Jobs. Both rich but it is much cooler to buy a MAC than a Clay Aiken CD. So not only do you live in the world of hyperbolic negativity, but you are also mocked by your mom while you sleep.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:37 p.m. CST


    by Gheorghe Zamfir

    I'm assuming that was directed at me, though I could be wrong. While obviously I disliked TPM), I wasn't really arguing whether it was a good or bad movie, or whether anyone was wrong or right in holding either opinion, I'm saying the defense of it being a good film because it was "necessary" doesn't hold, certain exposition may be necessary to this film, but the storytelling used to parlay that exposition cetainly wasn't, and when I critiscize TPM, its the storytelling, and not the plot points that I take issue with (regardless of how "minority" my opinion may be).

  • April 27, 2005, 12:39 p.m. CST

    "Would ESB be a great film without ANH or RotJ?"

    by Right Bastard

    Well, I saw ESB in the theaters before I knew anything about ROTJ, and it blew my friggin' mind. Would it be as great without ANH? Well, it does need ANH for the set up. The difference: The film that set up ESB didn't suck balls. ESB, the "transition film", also, does not suck balls. It stands alone, very well. After watching SW once, you can watch ESB repeatedly, and enjoy it. Calling the first two PT movies "exposition films" is a cop-out. (This is the first time I've made this comparison, but) Fellowship of the Ring is an Exposition film as well, and certainly didn't suck balls. There is no denying that that entire movie serves as a "set up", and yet, it stands very well on it's own. Same thing with ESB and TTT. Why waste time with movies made to set up one, supposed, big payoff, if they are not interesting and self contained? I'm not buying that "exposition" argument. There are ways to make exposition interesting, and they failed at it by having poor dialogue, and a director more interested in Green Screens than in performance. Go back and watch the scene in OB1's little cave in SW, or the scene in Luke's room when he's talking to 3PO, or the chess game on the Falcon. Watch the scenes on Dagoba, in the asteroid, and on Bespin in ESB. Tell me if there are Any expository scenes like these in the PT. Most of the exposition in TPM was stilted and awkward, and in AOTC felt like we had walked in half way through a conversation.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Hey, whatever floats your boat

    by Razorback

    I actually used to put TPM at the rear of the train of Star Wars but over the past year, or so, I have started to appreciate it more. I actually think TPM is better than ROTJ. It is a very well structured story and no one blows up the Death Star.... again. ;) I don't care if people dislike TPM, AOTC, or even if they end up hating ROTS, but don't tell people that they are wrong for liking it (not that you did). That is where I end up having a problem with people and their opinions. When you need to destroy people for having an opinion you don't like. Once you attack people you get attacked back.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:41 p.m. CST

    uhhm...i am too a geek!! I'm telling my momma on you!

    by proevad

    that question for the "hardcore geeks" was legit. i was just wondering why. that clay aiken shot really hurt. btw, i own a mac notebook and a pc, and i love both trilogies (i liked the first matrix, but not the sequels) i'm a walking contradiction.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:43 p.m. CST


    by Cpt Kirks 2pay

    Tigersmack, WHAT A SPUNKBRAIN YOU ARE!!! Kevin Smith didn't make Gigli, he made Jersey Girl. Gigli was made by Martin Titface, I mean Martin Breast! COME OVER HERE EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY COME AND LAUGH AT TIGERWANK!!! I bet you're the kind of bumface prat who went, "Oh no, really? Damn I can't believe it", when you read banthafodderuk's 'spolier' that Vader was Luke's old man didn't you?

  • April 27, 2005, 12:46 p.m. CST

    The movie before Empire didn't suck balls?

    by Razorback

    From your point of view. However, I know some kids who think ANH does in fact suck major balls. If ANH came out today people would most likely laugh at it. If Empire came out today it would probably be liked but also laughed at in areas. ROTJ would probably get mocked too. So, your opinion is yet another absolutist statement which, by the fact that it is absolutist, automatically becomes invalid and useless.

  • April 27, 2005, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Whats with all the Kevin Smith bashing?

    by Jay Mammoth

    Did he fuck your mothers, or are you all jealous because you want what he has?

  • April 27, 2005, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Calm the fuck down, people!

    by Sir Not

    First of all, Smith had nothing to do with Gigli, you fucktards. Second, even though he did say initially that he put TPM right behind ESB, last I checked, he could change his mind. I did. Once the initial adrenaline rush wore off, I said,

  • April 27, 2005, 12:58 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Actually, the stormtroopers were not clones. The clones were used as a tool in the demolishing of the Republic, but once the Empire was established, compulsory military service was implemented throughout the galaxy and the clones became superfluous. It's easier to rule a dictatorship if all men and women of fighting age are forced into some sort of service and brainwashed rather than sit idly at home getting all kinds of silly, rebellious thoughts in their heads. The academy Luke wants to apply to -- which Biggs actually did -- is Imperial, but for the denizens of the Outer Rim worlds like Tatooine it's a stepping stone and a way to get closer to the rebellion. Remember, even Han Solo was an Imperial officer before deserting.... I have no life.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:05 p.m. CST


    by -guyinthebackrow

    this sounds good.

  • Because if not it'll still be like getting a nice hug from someone who just kicked you twice in the crotch. Couldn't we have just skipped the first part? Oh, and Kevin Smith rags hard on the prequels in a recent EMPIRE magazine interview, so he probably had to write the above review while Lucas stood behind him at the computer.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:13 p.m. CST

    by ghkilgore Here is a funny video spoof on the movie.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:16 p.m. CST

    I'll be one of the lemmings...

    by Hamtaro_Hentai

    I'm sure I'll see it on opening weekend. I can't help myself, I've accepted that about myself and moved on. Kevin Smith liked it, and that only fuels the fire. But Lucas' summit about digital filmmaking is completely moot without one Peter Jackson.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Nosferatu Jones

    by ghkilgore

    I agree with you, that was bothering me too before you posted it.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Come on people.

    by mrfan

    Face it. Kevin Smith is not that good at what he does unless it is BS. None of his movies are that good. He cannot finish what he starts whether it be comics or movies. If he does then it is not very good quality. The man should get out of the business and stick to selling his comic books.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:21 p.m. CST

    by ghkilgore

    Here is 7 minutes of actual footage from the movie. It looks very cool.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:22 p.m. CST

    7 min

    by ghkilgore

  • April 27, 2005, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Killing kids

    by PhilConnors

    Did you guys miss it when Vader blew up an entire planet in A New Hope? Methinks there were probably some children somewhere on Alderaan. Whether or not that makes Vader "redeemable", I guess that's up to the viewer's personal philosophy. Even though Vader saves Luke at the end of RotJ, I would've preferred that he be left OUT of the parade of jedi ghosts during the final scene. Saving your own son is not exactly the act of a saint. In a way it's just more selfishness (similar to wanting to save Amidala). He was ready in Empire to overthrow the emperor in order to rule with Luke at his side, so really Luke just had to talk him back into it in RotJ...

  • April 27, 2005, 1:29 p.m. CST

    reality check.......

    by HermanatorX

    I think we all may be making to much of this movie. While watching the sith trailer for the first time in the cinema, some dumb chick upon "lord vader riiiiise" happened to say " I thought he was dead?" at first I was angry, but then i thought feck me, in the words of michael winner "calm down dear, its only a commercial!" Seriously, some of you sound delusional in your anger for or against. Just chill and watch it. For the record, Jedi sucks. Cant watch that ridiculous Jabba opening, with the worst "escape" plan in history without screaming at the TV!!

  • April 27, 2005, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith is no movie critic

    by Blanket-Man

    Remember how he blasted the first Spider-Man flick after seeing an early preview? Then it turned out to be one of the best-reviewed movies of 2002. If anything, this review makes me kinda sad -- sounds like Lucas has gone TOO dark. My 5-year-old is dying to see this, and it sounds like kids in his age group will have no business watching this movie. Great for 30-something geeks like us; sucks for the kiddies...

  • April 27, 2005, 1:33 p.m. CST

    I get what you're saying, Nosferatu, but...

    by Terry_1978

    people were going on and on about how if Anakin did murder kids, it'd be shown offscreen and therefore, wussified. Now it turns out they do show the dead children, which is probably just as harsh, but you need to know just what kind of person he's become. Makes you look at the original trilogy's Vader with a raised eyebrow now.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:34 p.m. CST

    by the way Phil Connors,.....

    by HermanatorX

    Grand Moff Tarkin destroyed Alderaan..........

  • April 27, 2005, 1:35 p.m. CST


    by ghkilgore

    Phil, I thought Admiral Akbar blew up Alderan, not Vader. In fact Vader says Don't be too proud of this technological terror.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:40 p.m. CST

    People leaving production on EP III

    by TABALF

    Does anyone remember Harry (or someone) talking, before production had started, about his fears for this film because he'd heard stories of people in the production team leaving Ep III because they couldn't bear to see Star Wars ruined in the way Lucas was proposing to do. Whatever happened to that? Also, is there any way of accessing old AICN stories that are older than about 4 weeks?

  • April 27, 2005, 1:53 p.m. CST

    don't let me down...

    by wasabiwoman

    I am so excited for this, against my better judgement. Please don't suck, please don't suck, please don't suck.

  • April 27, 2005, 1:54 p.m. CST


    by PhilConnors

    Like Nosferatu said, Vader is involved, even if he doesn't actually throw the switch. The whole story of Star Wars is how Hitler could be redeemed.

  • April 27, 2005, 2 p.m. CST

    ANH + ESB

    by Mako

    How can someone say you don't really need ANH to back up ESB? What was great about ESB, was that we were already introduced to the main characters in ANH, and all of that set up was already done... so no need to spend the time with it on ESB. ESB was just taking these characters and raising them up a notch. So you need ANH to support ESB. Also... I tend to agree that if the OT came out today... they would be attacked much more than they were over 20-30 years ago. People were blown away by ANH for many reasons, and one of those main reasons was for when it actually came out. There was nothing quite like it. Without ANH... there wouldn't have been a slew of outer space blockbusters to follow. Even Trekkers I know acknowledge that ANH revitalized the Trek franchise. Ridley Scott said he wanted to make ALIEN because of ANH. RAIDERS (my all time fav) probabaly wouldn't have been made. So many filmamkers and studios were influenced and copied the success that Lucas obtained. I enjoyed TPM. I enjoyed AOTC. They did not reach the level of greatness that I thought the OT had, but they weren't the crapfest "a specific group of people" claim them to be. I know more people that liked the PT than disliked them. But... like myself... most people think they are not as good as ANH or ESB.

  • April 27, 2005, 2:04 p.m. CST

    This is so sad . . .

    by Phangs01

    I was looking forward to sharing this with my children but based on this review, the absolute depravity described would almost certainly scar them for life---ha ha ha! Never mind. I can't go on. I don't even have kids. The more brutal the better I say. Bring it on!

  • April 27, 2005, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Stop going to movies and finish writing Spiderman/Black Cat and

    by cookylamoo

    You fat lazy bastard.

  • April 27, 2005, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Jar Jar

    by ghkilgore

    If Darth Vader lobbes off Jar Jar's head, that would be enough to redeem him in my book.

  • April 27, 2005, 2:10 p.m. CST


    by kentrel

    This is so obviously a plant. I mean, who is this "Kevin Smith" guy? It doesn't even sound like a real director's name.

  • April 27, 2005, 2:14 p.m. CST

    What I don't get about the whole Obi-wan/Dooku/Anakin duel trife

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    Count Dooku beats the crap out of Obi-wan twice (in AOTC & supposedly in ROTS). In fact the fights aren't even very close, and Dooku goes so far as to taunt Obi-wan about how much weaker his powers are than Dooku expected. "Why Master Kenobi, you disappoint me!" Anakin, on the other hand, is the only one who's powers are strong enough to possibly stand up to Dooku in a fight (not counting Yoda) and in fact according to spoilers Anakin eventually defeats Dooku in battle in AOTC. So far so good. I can buy that. But then, Obi-wan supposedly comes back later, overpowers and defeats Anakin in a duel to send him on his way to becoming Darth Vadar?!? How can that be possible since we've already established the Obi-wan is weaker in the force than Dooku who is weaker in the force than Anakin? If Anakin really is this super-jedi, then Obi-wan can't possibly defeat him in a toe-to-toe fight of force upon force, otherwise Anakin can't really be that super powerful. Please tell me that Obi-wan wins through using some sort of ingenious trick and not just in a straight up lightsaber duel. Because if Obi-wan does win in a regular duel with Anakin, Obi-wan's entire reason for going into hiding is mute since he could defeat Vadar (i.e. Anakin) if they fought again. Am I missing something? I know that Obi-wan is Lucas' favorite and all (even more so than Luke or Yoda), but this is getting ridiculous.

  • April 27, 2005, 2:21 p.m. CST

    "if the OT came out today"

    by Right Bastard

    Well, that's the point, isn't it? It didn't come out 20-30 years later. It came out 8 years after 2001: A Space Odyssey. Both of those movies blew people's minds because of the incredible imagination that went into them. Star Wars upped it a notch, because it added interesting characters and a well constructed story. Maybe it wouldn't hold up if released now, but they are timeless. My girlfriend grew up in that weird era that seemed to miss out on the SW phenominon. When I showed her the (non-special edition) trilogy, she really loved them. Any movie is a product of its time. If Godfather had been released after Goodfellas, or Apocalypse Now after Platoon and Full Metal Jacket, would they have been looked at in the same way? Probably not, but that doesn't change what they are.

  • April 27, 2005, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Dirty Trick

    by ghkilgore

    Obi-Wan throws sand in Dooku's face.

  • April 27, 2005, 2:25 p.m. CST

    I meant to say that Anakin supposedly defeats Dooku in ROTS.

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    Not AOTC. Sorry about that.

  • April 27, 2005, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Phimseto, I present to you a gift

    by Lone Fox

    The link is hardworking, and will serve you well!

  • April 27, 2005, 2:41 p.m. CST

    If Anakin>Dooko>Obi Wan, then how can Obi win that duel?

    by Sir Not

    ExcaliburFfolkes, I would say that it would be possible simply because Obi Wan taught Anakin. He knows how Anakin thinks/fights. In a duel where neither knew the other

  • April 27, 2005, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith, A.K.A. The Guy Who Directed Star Wars Toy Commercia

    by jollydwarf

    Shill alert! Shill alert! Look, I'm still pretty fookin' optimistic about this film, and while it ain't sayin' much, I DO believe it'll easily be the best of the Prequels (or Prequals, if you're a youngin'). Shit, it might even trump the original, all nostalgic bias aside. For many of you (the youngins, once again), it'll probably be the "best EVAR". What else is new? Either way, I don't trust Kevin Smith when it comes to a 'review' of anything Star Wars. And you shouldn't either. To save you the confusion, I've compiled a list of people that also should not be trusted when it comes to 'reviews' (not that this is going to be an issue a few weeks from today): Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Time magazine, Premiere magazine, Francis Ford Coppola, Joshua Griffin, any moderator/administrator at, celebrities at advance/charity screenings, Harry Knowles, and possibly even Drew "Moriarty" McWeeny. (Did I MISS anyone?) On the other hand, you've got many critics, in print and in the e-media who 'have it in' for this film, and won't give it a fair shake, either. Let's not even get into the divided fandom 'expressing themselves'. So, if you've got shills, disillusioned, jaded critics, gushers and bashers, and in general lots of impossibly biased shouting, who CAN you trust? Well, if you can read between the lines and if we're lucky enough for him to speak up, there's exactly ONE person who will call it like it is: Ewan. Something tells me that this time around, he's unfortunately being 'strongly encouraged' to "STFU", as all you kids like to say. P.S. Good to see that a certain "RB" is feelin' the love here, too. I guess his 'appeal' is universal after all.

  • April 27, 2005, 3:12 p.m. CST

    'tis true indeed...

    by Quintus_Arrius

    ... my interest in this 'saga' was begining wane, however, based on this review my hopes have been raised..... again! Hail!

  • April 27, 2005, 3:38 p.m. CST

    That's an interesting point, Sir Not.

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    I hadn't fully considered the Obi-wan originally trained Anakin angle before. You might very well be correct in your assessment. Thanks!

  • April 27, 2005, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Respect the Father

    by Pickled Mancini

    I wish some of you geeks could just grow up. When you were a child these movies meant something to you because of your innocence and excitability. What has changed since then is not the films' vision but yours. You live your lives expecting the world to kowtow to your needs instead of trying to take your inner child for a walk. Try remembering a wide-eyed time in your life. Tap into it. Only then will you see how intricately crafted Episodes I and II have been crafted. And all for the payoff that will be Episode III. This is a pulp saga, not real life. It's supposed to be fun. If you don't enjoy it, then forget about it and walk away...

  • April 27, 2005, 3:42 p.m. CST


    by Darth Busey

    Obi-Wan is surely one of the two or three most powerful Jedi in the saga. Anakin's overconfidence/carelessness leads to him getting beaten by Obi-Wan.

  • April 27, 2005, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Jedi Power Rankings

    by Darth Busey

    Based on what I know, you could probably rank them as follows: 1) Sidious 2) Yoda 3) Anakin 4) Obi-Wan 5) Mace Windu 6) Darth Maul 7) Luke

  • April 27, 2005, 3:47 p.m. CST

    Another reason Obi Wan might take Anakin...

    by Childe Roland a fight would be the psychological and emotional elements playing with Ani's head. Sure, he's gone a bit bat shit by the time of the duel, but Obi Wan is still his longtime friend and mentor... like a brother. Sure, brothers fight, but have you ever really tried to hurt your brother? Hard to bring yourself to do, even if you're angry or drunk. I'm betting Anakin has a moment of internal conflict that Obi Wan takes advantage of to win the fight. It would further support the theory that Obi Wan may be the biggest asshole in any fictional universe ("What I told you was true... from a certain point of view.") and my personal theory that the Jedi weren't the great guys they made themselves out to be. They're all about control, repressing their emotions and intimidating anyone without a midichlorian count into doing the bidding of whatever government happenes to be on their good side at the time. They're intergalactic bullies with flexible morals and access to some essentially genetically engineered powers. Their ways (and their unwavering support of the Old Republic) gave rise to some serious political unrest and their inflexibile philosophy led their potentially most powerful ally to rebel against them, eventually helping to overthrow and destroy their entire way of life. The Jedi are an example of power corrupting just as surely as Vader is, and they apparently get what they deserve in Sith (except for Obi, who goes on to load Luke like a weapon with lies and propoganda before aiming him at his own father). I'm not saying the Empire isn't its own kind of evil, but Obi and those Jedi are pretty evil shits, too.

  • April 27, 2005, 4:09 p.m. CST


    by presidentevil

    got your attention? im not really a hater at all, i had an incling that, if georgie does follow the flow chart of story telling (the three parts thing...introduction-buildup-finale), most people wouldn't get it, with us (the human race) constantly craving immediate gratification, it is perfectly natural for alot of us to dismiss the first two parts of a story especially when they are spaced so far apart. it is also easy for us that were kids when the original trilogy played the big screens to proclaim the second trilogy as pure crap when we no longer have the sense of wonder we use to have, even those of us with an extreme case of arrested developement. Alot of the bitching about the first two,IMHO was just a case of the films being hyped up so much that it would not live up to thier particular expectations... and as any person that reads alot would tell you... the third part of any story is usually the best, there are exceptions though (cough cough matrix cough)... how mant times have EACH and EVERY one of us gone to a movie, only to say " it started of slow, but kicked ass at the end"...try to think of this trilogy as ONE big story, intead of three little stories, and you might enjoy it more... for jar jar and ewok crap... i usually just tune that stuff out, and dont let it get to me...but i have a feeling that Jar Jar is gonna meet his end...placing bets now... I would like to see anakin off his head...but my money is on a ship that he is on gets blown up

  • April 27, 2005, 4:21 p.m. CST

    F Kevin Smith

    by biseor

    I don't know. I'm a big fan of Kevin Smith's earlier work. (Jay and Silent Bob Series) But his newer work is questionable. (Jersey Girl/Clownrape movie) And the fact that he does lame ass bits for Jay Leno further secures his sell-outedness. The dude must be going through a mid life crisis or something. Especially since the announcement of Clerks 2. Anywho, he's not to be trusted as a viable source of critique. He's a slob of a fanboy, who drools at anything G Lucas puts out on the plate. If he wasn't famous you'd see him walking about in his homemade stormtrooper outfit at a convention. Someone had also posted that most people liked TPM. Where did you get those stats? From your tubby SW cosplay friends? JESUS.

  • April 27, 2005, 4:27 p.m. CST

    *** SPOILER ***

    by symphy

    Fox News is reporting that a certain Fox actor reprises his role as Euchre-named Jack Bauer at the end of SW:III, arguing that torturing Anakin/Darth is the only way to stop his ascendancy, but thwarted by Palpatine's army of left-wing litigators from Amnesty Galactical.

  • April 27, 2005, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Only one thing will save this movie for me...

    by ATARI

    Jar Jar getting the anal lightsaber probe from Darth Vader. Meesa so OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

  • April 27, 2005, 4:40 p.m. CST

    "...and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they

    by HypeEndsHere

    I won't cop to it because i wont see it. I'm not a battered wife.

  • April 27, 2005, 4:59 p.m. CST

    by jazzdocent

    here is why anakin/obiwan might make sense... 1)dooku has been schooled in the dark side, which increases his command of the force, i.e why he beats obi-wan so easily, and anakin as well in AOTC 2)anakin is just turning to the darkside so it has not greatly increased his powers in his fight with obi-wan in ROTS 3)obi-wan, after the dooku fight, has worked much harder knowning he will probably have to face something like that again 4) in the ROTS fight with dooku, it seems pretty likely anakin will be helped by "giving into his emotions" like luke is told to do in his fight with Vader in ROTJ.

  • April 27, 2005, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Thank you very much, Kevn Smith, you fat assed, dicknosed duechb

    by googamooga

    Your shit-erific, "give away the whole damn movie", spoiler filled review has saved me the agony of seeing this for myself. Granted, I didn't HAVE to read your "review", but DAMN, MAN, did you HAVE to give away so much? I like Kevin Smith's movies, and he seems like a cool guy, but to spoil an entire movie, just because his celebrity status allowed him to see it weeks before us lowly peons (who support him financially) makes him an automatic shit stain in my book.

  • April 27, 2005, 5:22 p.m. CST


    by morGoth

    Relax, just kidding. Man, this is sounding more and more promising and I hope it is indeed "darker" than the other two prequels. Meaning, not a lot of pandering to the kiddie action-figure crowd. Hmmm...doesn't that make Obi-wan a bit of a torturer?

  • April 27, 2005, 5:23 p.m. CST

    More people like the pre-quals than don't

    by tjrmusic

    It's only been in the last year that I began to visit the Ain

  • April 27, 2005, 5:27 p.m. CST

    "When you were a child"

    by Right Bastard

    Check the news footage. Those lines around the block in '77 were full of highschool and college students, as well as grandparents. SW grabbed the attention of ALL ages, not just the wide-eyed booger eaters. You can't tell me that college students in the post-Nixon 70's were any less cynical than they are now.

  • April 27, 2005, 5:28 p.m. CST

    Hey banthafodderuk...

    by morGoth's a double fisted, middle finger extended "Fuck you asswipe!" from an American "gay Hobbit." Yeah I know....internet courage, heh! You're exactly the reason posters like Minas TirithII, etc. come on here just to troll SW fans. I'd say it's a bit of turn about fairplay actually.

  • April 27, 2005, 5:40 p.m. CST

    "When you were a child" shut up

    by biseor

    Yeah dude, in 77'. When the Star Wars movies were actually groundbreaking and GOOD. In 05' you get 300 gastropods dressed as stormtroopers and chowing down on breakfast burritos. No thanks. BA BA BOOEY

  • April 27, 2005, 5:41 p.m. CST

    And by that I meant...

    by biseor

    I meant 300 pound gastrapods. Not 300 gastrapods. :D

  • April 27, 2005, 5:43 p.m. CST

    You're saying more "average" people like the PT?

    by Right Bastard

    What, just because I'm a science fiction freak, I don't live in reality? I have a full time job, am working on my second degree, and have a girlfriend. In other words, yes, Mr. Shatner, I have a life outside of this crap. AINC is a great place for me to come for both arguing, as well as enjoying (if you see my non-SW posts) geek culture with other fanatics...while making the work day pass a hell of a lot faster. Most average people and their kids enjoy N*Sink and Ashley Simpson. These people don't care about quality, they care about consumption. They care about what everyone else is doing and hype. They read magazines like "People" and "Entertainment Weekly" as serious document, while at the same time never picking up the BBC news or some (if you can find one) unbiased American news paper. I'm also part time musician, and, unlike what you've found, most of my musician friends think PT is a pile of crap. Almost every person I talk to is extremely apprehensive about the new film, not excited. None of that matters, because this whole argument is anecdotal anyway.

  • April 27, 2005, 5:46 p.m. CST

    sorry 'bout the bad grammar on that last post.

    by Right Bastard

  • April 27, 2005, 5:55 p.m. CST

    Seein' it at Midnight 5/18

    by JAGUART

    I hated, hated TPM, thought Clones was "ok". I've been hurt before, but I guess I deserve it.

  • April 27, 2005, 5:57 p.m. CST

    when you were a child

    by presidentevil

    anyways...back in '77 the originals were groundbreaking and great, and as for the current trilogy, so far it's good(compare to movies like white chicks,soul plane and dude wheres my car), but im withholding final judgement to the last movie...and todays youth are alot more savy when it comes to the art of making a film considering all the dvd extras,the internet, and the hbo/mtv making of the movie specials...we where more easily impressed back then.... but your right about the 300 lb. gastropods....saw one dressed as Boba Fett, and he obviously had no right to wear the uniform no matter how well he did creating it...I asked him if he collected his bounties in Twinkies

  • April 27, 2005, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith didn't make "Gigli" you stupid fuck.

    by ZeroCorpse

    If you're going to bash someone, at least show some knowledge of the person you're bashing. Kevin Smith had fuckall to do with Gigli. He made "Jersey Girl" which just happened to have two of the same acors as Gigli, but that is not making Gigli, now is it? --- It's pretty sad that it's so trendy to bash the new Star Wars flicks. I'm glad I'm not some Lucas-hating sheep who can't understand exposition, or who feels like peer pressure to hate TPM and AOTC is enough reason to turn my back on my love for Star Wars. Worthless fucks. Go stroke yourselves to the Veronica Mars talkback if you can't say anything constructive here.

  • April 27, 2005, 5:59 p.m. CST

    Right Bastard

    by symphy had me right up to the point you suggested praise for BBC News (one of the only networks WORSE than Fox when it comes to outlandish, unprofessional bias and gutter-level journalistic standards). Other than that, I agree. :)

  • April 27, 2005, 6 p.m. CST

    Anyone who has read the script knows there's still cause for con

    by performingmonkey

    Sure, Lucas is playing up to fanboys for all he's worth including the blockade runner from the original movie, Vader, the Emperor and Tarkin together, original trilogy-style ships (star destroyers and TIE-like craft), saber duel's left right and center (including the ultimate dark vs light battle of Yoda vs Sidious, which people shouldn't raise their hopes up about too much because it's short and IMO ends stupidly, i.e. it ends with the Emperor not knowing if Yoda is alive or dead, which makes you wonder why he wouldn't go looking for the little green bastard in the original trilogy). Chewie's inclusion also seems like just for fanboys and does little to add to the movie. Anakin's actual turn to the Dark Side is handled weakly in my honest opinion. We are meant to believe that he turns because he thinks Sidious is going to teach him how to create life and stop people from dying (i.e. stop Padme from dying - he sees her die in childbirth in a dream). This apparently makes him want to go on a mass murder spree, including the execution of kid/teen Jedi. The script makes it look lame, I hope the acting makes up for it. Also, Padme's role in this movie has been cut down to her simply waiting in her apartment for news (the sub-plot of the formation of the Rebellion has been cut - deleted scenes on DVD hopefully). What ultimately happens to her (as if you don't know...) IS well wtitten, and should hopefully make for scenes with actual emotion, something that has been lacking from the other prequels. OK, I rate the script better than episodes 1 & 2, but still with flaws and moments where people will have to suspend their belief a great deal. But this is the story that Lucas has had in his head since 1983, which is why TPM and AOTC were full of such filler shit.

  • April 27, 2005, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Korean War Veteran

    by biseor

    "These people don't care about quality, they care about consumption." Uhh. Let's go over how much poor quality crap the "fans" buy from Lucas. Let's see. Over the past 4 years like what 20 video games, some so-so. Like 2 that were good. The rest utter garbage. Toys? Hundreds of poorly modeled cheaply made in china figurines. Hundreds if not thousands of licences are out there. And that is all quality swag? Pssh. Seems to me the "fans" are no deeper than the Paris Hilton's or Ashley Simpsons or Entertainment Weeklys. They are just a different side to the same coin.

  • April 27, 2005, 6:09 p.m. CST


    by Right Bastard

    Not praise. It's a hell of a lot better than my local paper, though ;)

  • April 27, 2005, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Ancient Lights...

    by morGoth

    ...yeah, he's going to hook Vader up to a drip IV and get a bunch of The Force Fundamentalists to start a "Sanctity of Life" protest. Must be that morals thing all over again. Don't misunderestimate Obi-wan {[:^)

  • April 27, 2005, 6:13 p.m. CST

    What the hell do you guys do

    by Gheorghe Zamfir

    Where seemingly every person you meet you make sure to gauge they're opinion on Star Wars. I go to a state university that's got a pretty good sized population of students, through that and my work study I talk to and meet a number of different people every day, and I have no clue what any of them think about Star Wars.

  • April 27, 2005, 6:34 p.m. CST

    in the first star wars luke skywalker is on a planet in hiding f

    by HypeEndsHere

    so why the fuck didn't they change luke's last name?

  • April 27, 2005, 6:36 p.m. CST

    k. smith

    by jmc8y

    i stopped listening to him after i saw him on degrassi: the next generation.

  • April 27, 2005, 6:40 p.m. CST

    TPM and AOTC are both better than Jedi

    by bigbadbua

    Bring back the Death Star, Ewoks, it was far and away the weakest of the originals. And the 2 already released prequels are better films. Jedi, while i enjoy it, is a very dissapointing film for me.

  • April 27, 2005, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Wnanahara7, you missed my point

    by Sir Not

  • April 27, 2005, 6:56 p.m. CST

    I love Kevin Smith but ...

    by snow scorpion

    ... I lost all interest in Star Wars years ago. Even if Kevin recommends it.

  • April 27, 2005, 6:59 p.m. CST

    Phantom Menace has the best Light Sabre fight.

    by Trevor Goodchild

    And one of the best onscreen fights overall. Bought the Art of ROTS. For anyone thinking of doing so, don't flick through carelessly. I now know a of a really great feature of the Anakin/Obi fight that I would of rather seen without prior knowledge.

  • to all the people who loved at least the original trilogy: I won't comment to all the posts here and i usually don't post much in SW talkbacks. I am just happy that i grew up with SW. I saw the whole trilogy in the 80s when i still visited the elementary school and there are no other films which i've seen so often in my childhood like the StarWars films. it's just a bad theory by myself but when i think back how i felt when i saw these movies back to back when i was 9 or 10 years old and watched it on VHS tape again and again and again like a drug addict there was this feeling. This "i am home" feeling. No other Science-Fiction films made me feel "home" like the StarWars universe. I can't quite catch it what it was or what it still is but when i watch the original trilogy you really feel or you wish that this world could really exist. A parallel universe of human beings. There are so many little things in the films where you just wish you want to be born in that world in your next life. What Lucas did to the universe is to make it to a LITTLE home for human beings. In SW the universe is not an endless something. The universe is a little "home" for species like us humans. And that's what i liked the most about SW. All those exotic places are presented with such ease and implicitness which were supported by the characters that it was like just really "being" there. Everytime when i see for example ESB there is this special feeling when i see the city in the clouds. Or when i see the last scene with this small group of space ships just moving slowly in the empty space. It's so...romantic. It feels like you're home. These ships in space could be your home. This "romantic" feeling is lost in the two prequels. This warm feeling is lacking. I mean i still find Episode 2 quite entertaining but i think what many fans who loved the prequels have difficulties to really fond of the prequels is that they lack this warm "you're in a new home" feeling which was not only shown through the story, happenings or events but through the easy presentations of the world and the characters. I really don't believe that there were just a few elements which dominated the others and that those were the reasons for this awesome success. It was a very healthy mixture of many things. And everything was believable and i don't mean realistic with that but...just "believable". The funny and strange thing is that nobody and no experts can't really quite catch why SW became so successful. there are thousands of books and articels but not one can really explain it in a satisfying way. They come with many cultural, literary, religious, historical what? Why it really became a part of our modern culture? SW was not revolutionary in storytelling (or am i wrong in this one?). The acting was enough but definitely NOT oscar worthy or something.(i mean you cannot expect LeeStrasberg-acting in a StarWars movie. That would be ridiculous so please be careful when you make criticism in "acting".) The acting was "perfectly enough" for Science-Fiction movies. So what is SW? My opinion: The first cinematic fairy tale ever created in movie history for the whole world!(which was not based on other mediums but had many references from many things including other films) a very interesting article about George Lucas in Wired: about the origin of the Avid software: "EditDroid, the digital-editing system that Lucas' team of engineers invented in the 1980s, replaced this Sisyphean task with film scanners, a searchable archive, and a drag-and-drop interface. Sold to Avid, it has become the core of the technology used to edit most major-studio releases and nearly all prime-time TV programs today." Interview with Lucas

  • April 27, 2005, 7:08 p.m. CST

    HypeEndsHere, and the name "Skywalker"

    by googamooga

    Maybe, and this is just a guess, the name "Skywalker" is as common in the Star Wars reality, as the name Chin is in the Chinese phone book. Ba-dum-bump!

  • April 27, 2005, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Nothin' but spoilers........

    by Doom II

    HERE ARE A BUNCH OF LEGIT SPOILERS-------------Mace Windu is killed by Sidius/Palpatine. He is hit with Force-lightning and falls to his death on the streets of Coruscant while Anakin watches. Yoda retreats from Sidius/Palpatine because he is being wrecked during the battle in the senate chambers. Obi Wan kills Grievious with a blaster after an intense lightsaber battle. Anakin Force-chokes Amidala, but she lives long enough to give birth to the twins. Vader destroys his operating room after realizing what he has become. He also trashes some Medical Droids during his rage. Dooku is killed early in the film by Anakin and Obi Wan. His hands are cut off and then he is beheaded while a kidnapped Palpatine watches from his chair. Yoda initially recruits the Wookies to assist the Clone Troopers in battle against the Trade Federation. The Clone Troopers turn against the Jedi and Yoda is forced to kill a few in one wicked scene. This film is DARK DARK DARK. Haters beware. As far as final chapters go, this one takes the cake. Matrix? LOTR? Sorry. The acting is way above anything so far in the prequels. The PG-13 rating is used to its fullest. End Of Line.....

  • April 27, 2005, 7:20 p.m. CST

    All I Want to Know is..........

    by Donnie_Drunko

    Does Jar Jar Take the Big Poo Doo or what ?

  • April 27, 2005, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Sir Not's CT is showing.

    by biseor

    I kind of agree with you in reguards to the chapters needing one another. And when I watch the original trilogy I kind of think "oh yeah, I see how this ties in". But TPM and AOTC are unwatchable! The dialogue, poor acting, stupid jokes, stupid characters. You know what? They should hire a real director/editor to take TPM and AOTC and cut the highlights together as a narrated historical-esqe compendium. Then I might enjoy it. Something to think about: When Jabba is looking down upon the pod racers, and anakin as the winner the last thing in his head is probably, "That dudes daughter is going to choke me to death with a chain."

  • April 27, 2005, 7:35 p.m. CST

    "Phantom Menace has the best Light Sabre fight." hmmm

    by CurryIce

    Trevor Goodchild, i guess you mean that you pretty liked the action of the sword fights and i agree that the sword fights in the prequels looked more elegant but i still prefer every sword fight in the original trilogy because of many reasons. First of all the lightsaber fights looked more REAL than in the sequels. In TPM and AOTC the fights looks too much choreographed. It looked too much like watching a kind of a choreographed demonstration of martial arts masters than really a fight! In OT you really felt the whole aggressive impact of every hit. Everything looked like a real fight. The next thing is that the fights in ESB and ROTJ were a thousand times more emotional than in the sequels. These were not just fights. It was the ultimate battle between good vs. evil. You could really feel it. The sword fights in the prequels didn't have much background. You can't find many meanings of the fights. I know that they are necassary for many reasons(including story) especially it's important to show the clashes of the important roles etc. But you are not emotionally connected with the lightsaber fights like in the OT. The impact was much bigger because you could contextualize so many things in those emotional fights that they were more than just satisfying your eyes for a few minutes. (one example: the whole tragic of the Skywalker-family is manifasted in the Lightsaber fights between Vader and Luke)

  • April 27, 2005, 7:37 p.m. CST


    by DarkBastion

    Kevin Smith is a hack and Lucas is a tool. RotS will suck.

  • April 27, 2005, 7:49 p.m. CST


    by krullboy

    You bring up valid points, but also maybe consider the fact that in the OT, the duels were not always about straight out killing. In TPM, there is no doubt that Maul wants to kill both Jedis. In ESB, Vader toys with Luke. Watch the beginning of their fight in the carbonite facility. Vader pushes Luke to the ground with only one hand on his light saber, obviously displaying his power and restraint. The initial fight between Qui Gon and Maul does serve a purpose, in that it announces the fact that the Sith have returned, a fact that the council blows off because of their displeasure with Qui Gon. Anakin losing his arm to Sidious forshadows his demise and shows how his arrogance can and will aid in his destruction. Yoda fighting Dooku illustrates his prowess. And if you really want to a fight with "emotional context", wait until Mace fights Sidious, only to be betrayed by Anakin, or THE Duel between Obi Wan and Anakin. You have a good opinion, I just thought you might view it from this perspective. . .

  • April 27, 2005, 7:52 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith also said "Jersey Girl" was his best film. So I don'

    by Grabthars_Hammer

  • April 27, 2005, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Who let Darabont in?

    by Silver Shamrock

    Is still coasting on his Majestic laurels? Last I heard he was fired from Indy4, now he shows up to kiss G-Lu's ass. LOL

  • April 27, 2005, 8:02 p.m. CST

    Here's a positve review of the ROTS Soundtrack with Bonus DVD, f

    by Orionsangels

    At last we will have our revenge on the naysayers ---

  • April 27, 2005, 8:21 p.m. CST

    George Lucas goes apeshit over 'Jersey Girl'!

    by Negator76

    Who cares what that fat fuck Smith says about anything? This guy threw his (ample)weight behind the 'Daredevil' movie. He made like, one good movie... (if you combine the best parts of Clerks and Dogma, you have exactly one good movie)... and has mostly wasted everybody's time making lame meta-jokes about him and his friends. This is a guy who put his name on 'Jersey Girl'. A guy who hires Ben Affleck to 'act'. Fuck that hairy hippopotamus. Who even cares about this bullshit franchise anymore? It's just a fucking nostalgia-fueled marketing campaign that costs you eight dollars to sit through. Fuck Turkey-neck Lucas and his hordes of asslicking sycophants who don't know when to let their dork dream die.

  • April 27, 2005, 8:27 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith's next movie looks promising though

    by HypeEndsHere

    I Love the '80s: The Movie

  • April 27, 2005, 8:28 p.m. CST


    by CurryIce

    thx for your answer and i don't see a big conflict between your points and my post but you added examples to validate yours relating to the fights in the sequels which i agree that they have a purpose. And after seeing all the teasers and trailers for ROTS i really have the feeling that Lucas will deliver that kind of emotional lightsaber fights we're looking for. my expectation is very high on this one. i hope that this missing link to ANH etc. will satisfy everyone who didn't like TPM or AOTC.

  • April 27, 2005, 8:54 p.m. CST

    You know what we'll do?

    by Deeez Nuuuts

    We'll turn into losers like you who have nothing better to do than talk shit on a talkback for movies we hate.

  • April 27, 2005, 9:20 p.m. CST

    if this is true, and EP3 rocks, it throws up an interesting ques

    by ol' painless

    Did the quality of this film come about in spite of, or because of, the ferocious reaction of the SW fan community to Ep1? Can the fanboys take credit for opening Lucas' eyes to how badly out of touch he was with the modern Sci-Fi fan community? And despite his protestations to the contrary, did he realise he had to go back to film school and learn how to present well-written drama and dialogue (nothing wrong with the special fx, it must be said) once again. If not for the adverse reaction, and the demanded improvement, would we now be staring down the barrel of a climactic scene in EP3 of a horribly maimed Anakin, a grim-faced Obi-wan . . . and Jar-Jar accidently putting a foot/flipper in lava and jumping around saying "OUCHIE-WOWCHIE!! MESA BURNED!!" Discuss.

  • April 27, 2005, 9:45 p.m. CST

    Dont get your hopes Up

    by DarthCheezburger

    I frequent and I practically know the whole movie and lets just say there is nothing that really excites me. As far as the first two movies being simply set ups for ROTS, give me a fucking break. Just accept that the fact that the first two were colossal disapointments.(Its still such a nightmare that he dicked up SW) Just admit the fact that LOTR did what they didnt and move on. Hopefully 7-9 are better, you know hes gonna make them.

  • April 27, 2005, 10:18 p.m. CST


    by Razorback

    So what you are saying is that we should "admit" that your opinion about these movies is the ONLY opinion that is correct? Ok... or, how about this... you admit that TPM and AOTC are actually better than ANH and ROTJ? Why don't you just admit that all of your whining has been based on the fact that you are a complete fucktard? Also, why don't you just admit that you do in fact dream about fucking your mother? JUST ADMIT IT! Come on!

  • April 27, 2005, 10:28 p.m. CST

    TPM battle

    by Right Bastard

    I will agree that the light saber duel with Maul in TPM was 90% impressive. The set up to the battle was not so hot (lightsabers against rickety robots...yawn). That last battle had two drawbacks. First, the continual cuts to the robot/gungadin battle and the boring/pointless space battle. Those two aspects of the battle were like speed bumps in the action. Second, the WTF ending of the duel. That battle had everyone until the conclusion. At the end of the battle, I distinctly remember a lot of people (including myself) saying "What the f*ck was that?". The battle in ESB was very (shuddering at my choice of words) organic. It was a vicious and emotional fight, and Luke looked beaten to crap by the end of it. My opinion, but I'd give that ESB battle the Pepsi challenge with the TPM one any day.

  • April 27, 2005, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Cuts in the TPM Battle

    by krullboy

    RightBastard, the cuts you mentioned in the TPM battle may be one of Lucas' devices to "echo/foreshadow" events in future films. For example, the battle at the end of TPM was intercut pretty much like the last portion of ROTJ. How would you have ended the duel in TPM? Qui Gon had to die to allow Obi Wan to mature on his journey, just as he would with Luke in ANH. Not to say Qui Gon died on purpose like Kenobi does, but I think that is a Lucas plot device, reinforcing his Star Wars is a "symphony" theory.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:01 p.m. CST

    you could be correct

    by Right Bastard

    Honesty, it's been a few years since I've seen TPM. I didn't have a problem with Qui Gon getting iced and all that. I was thinking of the whole flippy cut in half thing. I just remember the ending of that battle being a little too quick/anticlimatic for my taste. I'll admit, I could be off base on this one. It's been a while...

  • April 27, 2005, 11:10 p.m. CST

    Bisecting Darth Maul

    by krullboy

    I understand what you mean and I am not trying to be a Lucas apologist. I think when it comes down to it, Lucas does what he thinks is best. To him, Obi Wan pulling a Kurt Thomas out of the shaft (say that 3 times without laughing) and flipping in the air may have been what he thought was perfect for the scene. Maul dying pissed off a ton of people I saw dressed up as him in the theater, all under the assumption that he would feature more prominently in the film. To a lot of the fans, he was a badass, but to Lucas, he was a plot device. . .and that is where the split between the PT haters and lovers originates

  • April 27, 2005, 11:31 p.m. CST

    EP III CIII footage !!!!

    by DFOV

    bow down beeeeeeeeatches, heheeh just joking... looks pretty damn dark literally and figurtively

  • April 27, 2005, 11:39 p.m. CST

    Will anticipate the cartoon and TV show and fill up talkbacks wi

    by Orionsangels

  • April 27, 2005, 11:42 p.m. CST

    The Wookie planet looks like Vietnam

    by Orionsangels

    That scene where the Wookies and Clonetrooper are on a boat of somekind, drifting down a river, straight out of Apocalypse now!

  • April 27, 2005, 11:45 p.m. CST

    Fox Studios show it to me, and

    by Hate_Speech

    I thought it was ok. Smith spews all over it because he's an uber-star wars fan. so if'n your life is dedicated to all things Lucas you'll love it, otherwise, it's ok.

  • April 27, 2005, 11:51 p.m. CST

    Now SERENITY on the other hand

    by Hate_Speech

    Looks like not only Lucas has a copy of Maya.. now that trailer is SUH-WEET!

  • April 27, 2005, 11:53 p.m. CST

    WOW! ROTS Makes up for the last two films

    by Orionsangels

    Because all my hopes were pinned on the last two SW movies being the greatest thing since sliced bread!

  • April 27, 2005, 11:57 p.m. CST

    "and that is where the split between the PT haters and lovers or

    by Right Bastard

    Lol, you might be correct, krullboy. Honestly, I don't consider myself a Lucas basher. Sure, I'll say a few loaded things if baited, but most people with a sense of humor know how to take that (and that that I usually do it to get a rise out of those with no humor). I really don't have a problem with (most) people who like that film. More power to you. I just have a problem with those who say that those of us who see a thousand holes in TPM are "holding on to our childhood", "make weak/armature arguments", "just want to be negative", "don't realize that SW is for the children",

  • April 28, 2005, 12:02 a.m. CST

    Thanks DFOV

    by Darth Thoth

    That clip was amazing! I am so souped for this movie. Can it make up for the last two? I don't know but here's hoping it does b/c this footage looks too real! Wow, I can't wait!

  • April 28, 2005, 12:11 a.m. CST

    Right Bastard . . .

    by krullboy

    Once again, you bring up valid points. Don't know if you agree, but I get more out of posts like these than the typical "you all will be eating the corn out of Lucas's shit", "ROTS will OWN Hobbit gay ass", "Lucas raped my childhood with a Harry Potter Quiditch (sp) stick", or "WETA splooges CGI cum stains on ILM." Now, if we could just get the talking heads in government to disagree civilly as you and I, we might get something done!!! I do hope though, for your sake and mine, that ROTS does deliver. It does not need to be a Best Picture winner; simply, fans, their families, and the casual viewers need to walk out of the theater happy they spent their money, and had a good time. That is what the movie experience is and should be, a good time.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:33 a.m. CST

    O.k., I'll do it

    by Right Bastard

    Let's run for congress! Oh, wait...I have a past (ep!). Seriously, I agree with you. I've finally reached the point where I'm able to ignore the "gay" "spoge" "rape" "own" posts, and see if anyone really has something to say. For all your sakes, I hope it's good too; and I will freely admit if I like ROTS. I have never said "this is going to suck", though, I have said, "Given the recent track record, I hope this doesn't suck". Subtle, but very different. That's why I'm waiting to see it. I want to see it in a mostly empty theater, after both the positive and negative hype have died down.

  • April 28, 2005, 1:01 a.m. CST

    That link actually worked! I am shocked!

    by Doom II

    It's also funny that those people at the "Celebration" waited HOURS to see that 7 minutes of footage and I just casually watched it twice in the comfort of my own home. The guy that recorded it has some balls as I assume there were "scouts" in the theater looking for camcorders...Kudos dude! I salute you!

  • April 28, 2005, 2:11 a.m. CST

    Doom, you idiot...

    by Sir Not

    I saw the footage 4 times over the course of the Celebration weekend and I never waited more than 30 minutes to do so. Secondly, if you think that pissy little shit wmv download can compare to seeing it digitally projected on a full size screen with the music so loud your heart feels like it's gonna jump right out of your chest... well, to steal a quote Free Enterprise, you mus be a woman because, "they don't care how anything looks or sounds so long as it has a good beat and they can dance to it." And the soundtrack to that clip has nothing on the piece they used. You can lie to yourself by saying that what you saw was just as good, but don't lie to the rest of us... SNAITF

  • April 28, 2005, 2:58 a.m. CST

    I'm hopeful, but still dubious

    by undomielregina

    I have this hope that the movie will be good...and this horrible feeling that it won't. The problem with the prequels was not in the ideas behind them. I can look at the overall universe and a lot of the things Lucas did with Eps 1 & 2 (like establishing Vader as the overall protagonist of the saga) and think that they were really cool. But the movies wherein the ideas were displayed quite simply blew. I trust Lucas with ideas, but his best films are all the ones where he stays out of the directing and writing and concentrates on concept (Empire for example.) So I have this sense that while yeah, the reviews sound great, I won't be able to decide how I feel about the film until I see it. I think the plot rocks, and all the scenes we keep hearing about sound cool. Even the trailers look great. But that isn't enough to make me believe in the film because I don't trust Lucas as anything but an ideas man.

  • April 28, 2005, 3:28 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    Apparently........Leia is Luke's sister!!!!! fuuuuuck man - AND AS FOR YOU KIRK- PISS OFF BACK TO YOUR DREAM WORLD OF WOOKIE WANKING

  • April 28, 2005, 3:42 a.m. CST

    Far be it from me to put the cart before the horse...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...but I just broke down and watched that seven-minute presentation of ROTS. All I can say is HOLY SHIT!!! It looks fucking incredible! Caution and better judgment be damned -- I can't fucking wait for this! Bring it on, Uncle George!

  • April 28, 2005, 3:52 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    shouldn't that be "middle-earth-finger"? AND PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT A GOTH - PLEASE???? I WAS BEGINNING TO LIKE YOU AS WELL......

  • April 28, 2005, 4:42 a.m. CST

    Lucas over Jackson

    by OwnedbyGeorge

    It frustrates me to no end that so many people seem to prefer LOTR to TPM and AOTC. George has created vast, mind bending, colorful worlds filled with thousands of creatures and droids and characters that challange and defy imagination. Peter Jackson gave us only a compitent visualization of those stories. His camera work seems inspired by nintendo, his color palatte limited to blue and grey. The design seems literal at best (wizards wear pointy hats, elves have pointy ears, dwarfs have gruf little beards...nothing we couldn't imagine ourselves or saw in the animated versions from the 70s. And it turns out middle earth looks just like New Zealand. It's honestly hard to sit thru LOTR twice, and the effects look pretty cheesey already, only a few years later. (Much like Titanic, the composites don't really hold up). Now pop in TPM. It's beautifull...every frame. You'll still cheer as the pod-racers rumble past, and sit forward as the chorus kicks in before the Maul saber-dual at the end. There was no predicting where Clones was going, and in the end, every audience I was with erupted into a sustained giddyness as Yoda finally grabs his lightsaber and starts bouncing around. Try finding that kind of joy as you trudge thru middle earth listening to Frodo whine and watching countless crazy unmemorable human kings killing their countless unmemorable sons.

  • April 28, 2005, 4:43 a.m. CST

    That 7 minute clip KICKS ASS! Tossing gas AND a match on the fr

    by Triumph poops!

    This summer, Uncle George enslaves all wimpy, whiny hobbits and bitch slaps orcs back to the caves where they belong as he shows everyone how a REAL jaw-dropping spectacular movie is made. In the immortal words of Stan Lee, 'Nuff Said!

  • April 28, 2005, 4:48 a.m. CST

    " As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times dark

    by bioforge

    I really hope it doesn't come back to bite him one day...Then again if he is wrong he deserves it.

  • April 28, 2005, 5:24 a.m. CST

    be careful....OwnedbyGeorge & Triumph poops!

    by banthafodderUK

    We're not allowed to take the piss out of gay hobbits any more - no more "oh mr frodo, cani toss your salad?"- "oh sam only if you play 'london's burning' on my pink oboe". Bloody Rules!! Bah!!!

  • April 28, 2005, 5:45 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    haven't heard 'gash' for donkeys man!!!! - excellent

  • April 28, 2005, 5:59 a.m. CST

    LMAO Kevin must have really touched a nerve with some of you

    by Jay Mammoth

    when he made Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, i thought he was exaggerating, i guess i was wrong. Clerks 2, 2006

  • Utterly random observations: 1) This thread should be good for another 200 posts we've all read before; 2) There *are* some SW haters out there (hell there are haters, period), but I think the majority of us fit in another category: We didn't "hate" the prequels; we were just disappointed in some degree. They weren't sh*tfests; or not uniformly sh*tty, at any rate; consider what you got: first rate digital visuals (even if we're harder to impress than we were in 1977), fantastic soundtracks (I would argue TPM's was better than any of the first three, and those were stunning), and at least a couple actors (Neeson, August in EpI, Lee and McGregor in Ep2) great enough to overcome even a mediocre script... 3) ROTJ wasn't a sh*tfest either - it was two halves, one as good as EMPIRE, and one not so good, thanks to the aforementioned muppet show in Jabba's cave, marketable walking teddy bears and Han Solo's transformation into a sullen, whiny drunk; 4) Believe it or not, it *is* possible to love BOTH the Star Wars and LOTR franchises (even if it is occasionally a "tough love") - and while a lot of this is a matter of personal taste, some things ought to be obvious to anyone remotely objective as a moviegoer, which is that A NEW HOPE, EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING are great, great movies that succeed on pretty much every level and will still be watched and loved 50 years from now because of it - and you ought to be able to admit that even if either space battles or hobbits aren't your speed; 5) Based on his record, as several posters have pointed out, we all pretty much know that Kevin Smith would have raved if Lucas had shown two hours of himself in the garage working on one of his hotrods. So I'll wait for someone's opinion whom I know I can trust - like, say Moriarty. But I'm optimistic, because as Moriarty himself pointed out, this film above all is the easiest one for Lucas to get right. And I think he will.

  • April 28, 2005, 6:06 a.m. CST

    But one warning for Lucas

    by Oberon

    Having said all that, I DAMNED well don't want to see any more hideously bad "I'm beside myself" puns in this thing.

  • April 28, 2005, 6:41 a.m. CST

    Smith's a Fanboy too?

    by Evil Chicken

    : )

  • April 28, 2005, 6:49 a.m. CST

    You are not alone Jarv

    by Jay Mammoth

    I am a big Kevin Smith fan, i actually got to meet him last month at the Vulgarthon, extremely cool guy, i dont know why the other talkbackers hate on him, i think its because their favorite film makers dont give them the time of day, or they are jealous that hes a successful filmmaker and has a beautiful wife.

  • April 28, 2005, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Must say

    by WeeJ0ckP00McPlop

    that the 7 minute preview does look pretty damn good, lets hope that the other 117 minutes isn't crap

  • April 28, 2005, 7:52 a.m. CST

    As if any of you could do better.

    by Ultimo The Duck

    Sheesh, folks. Nothing pleases you people. You all think you are far too cool to be impressed with a movie. For all you know this movie will rock the socks off of most of the planet, but still the AICN talk backers will continue to talk about how "Lucas ruined my life with his terrible movies." Just take the movie for what it is, entertainment. Not a personal attack against you.

  • April 28, 2005, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Public warningf

    by Smellmyfinger

    I think it's safe to say that I have absolutly got the biggest possible hard-on for this movie. The love piss that it is going to erupt from the end of my man meat is going to be of epic proportions. It would be very advisble for anyone going to the same cinema as me to wear the appropriate waterproof clothing...maybe equip yourself with an umbrella as well.

  • April 28, 2005, 8:08 a.m. CST

    "Spielberg, Coppola and... KERRY CONRAN"?!? Was that supposed to

    by SalvatoreGravano

    Because it certainly was funny. I do hope it was intended as a joke, because if it was serious... oh dear. If it was serious, it would mean that Harry embarked upon a quest of shilling a two-bit "Gots me some animated robots" sub-hack, and actually thought that placing "Kerry Conran" next to Spielberg or Coppola would work... In that case, I propose the placement of W. S. Anderson and Herr Uwe Boll next to Conran, for, ahem, "fair balance". (If that happens, have the decency to put the Bolls, Conrans, Andersons and other Sommerseseseseses in one separate group - do *not* insert them randomly among the Spielbergs and Coppolas...)

  • April 28, 2005, 8:30 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    Not sure if you've been there before but on (which is basically a SW PT spoiler site) there's a string of interviews with GL. Now on the site, he claims that he actually edited EP3 with Lucas and inserted loads of fan ideas into EP3. Is this for real? I always thought that Lucas sued the shit out of anyone for people lying about this shit. But if you read the interviews with GL he's said that if EP3 does well at the box office, that he'll make EP's 7-9. Can anyone confirm if this a load of bollocks or not please? (ps, hobbits suck cock, etc). Thanks.

  • April 28, 2005, 8:31 a.m. CST


    by ghkilgore

    Jarv, you said that coppola has not made anything but shite for years. I disagree, I realy liked lost in translation.

  • April 28, 2005, 8:34 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    i too shall be doing a sex wee all over this film

  • April 28, 2005, 8:34 a.m. CST


    by ghkilgore

    I heard that after Peter Jackson get's done making Son of Kong II and III, that he will be directing EP's 7-9.

  • April 28, 2005, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Salvatore Gravano and Sky Captain

    by krullboy

    To be fair to Kerry Conran, give the guy credit for trying something different. The unfortunate thing is that there was no market for what he was attempting, namely a noirish, pre WWII, type action flick. Yes, it was disappointing, and I felt embarassed I bought it before I saw it (dumb me), but maybe he is taking his licks and will deliver when (or if) he directs something again. Sky Captain was hurt by a few things. One, the marketing was awful. Two, Jude Law has not been able to historically deliver as a lead. Three, Paltrow is too bitchy and elitist as Polly Perkins to be believeable as an "intrepid reporter". Three, the bad guy was German, but no mention of Nazism was given. Four, the plot device of the "camera film" got real annoying. Five, Totenkopf's plan for an ideal world was a rip off of "Moonraker". Visually interesting, but not intellectually stimulating. And one more thing, Angelina Jolie's "Franky Cook" was great but underused. She may have had a little "bi" tendencies, but I'm sure Conran wanted that sort of sexual tension. But since this is a SW post, I'll sign off with "May the Force be with you", haters and fan boys alike!!!

  • April 28, 2005, 8:39 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    : ) that'd be actually cool if you think about it (No chance tho, you know how protective mr george ' more chins than a chinese phone book' lucas is), plus he'd try and cross orcs with ewoks and who knows what shit that'd cause ; )

  • April 28, 2005, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Cross Pollination

    by ghkilgore

    You could have some interesting combinations,Uriki-Wookie,Laggolas-Jedi,ObiWan-Gandolf, and yuck a Hobbit-Ewok.

  • April 28, 2005, 9 a.m. CST

    Pregnacy Test

    by ghkilgore

    Strange, I don't seem to recall owning a droid. Why does it smell like piss?

  • April 28, 2005, 9:10 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    all this raw talkback sewage over a movie that will be unintentionally hilarious at best. I watch the prequels any chance I get to laugh til it hurts. This will be no exception. And some of you crazed drooling fans sound really dumb knocking Peter Jackson and Weta- sour patch kids jealous because any one of the LOTR movies puts your entire beloved Star Wars franchise to shame. Yeah yeah Hobbits are gay blah blah blah well let me tell you even the creatures that you all think are so fucking icy cool in Star Wars look gay to me. Everytime I see ridiculous characters like Greedo I laugh myself sideways- looks like some dried up snatch with doll's eyes that's been sucking on lemons all week- Jabba looks literally like a pile of shit, the storm troopers look like gay s&m fetishists and don't even get me started on ewoks and gungans or even those ridiculous "monsters" from the arena in AOTC which are about as intimidating as the least convincing Harryhausen stop-go animations. Just don't confuse me for a hater- I do enjoy these movies- I enjoy laughing!

  • April 28, 2005, 9:15 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK


  • April 28, 2005, 9:28 a.m. CST

    dont worry jarv!! - now: cocolopez.....

    by banthafodderUK

    ..... I never said the hobbitslooked gay, I said they acted and sounded gay, that the dialogue leads one to believe that sam actually does want frodo's one-eyed-milkman. That's all, honest, I like LOTR too, just thought the hobbits were pillow biters. See, we can do this without conflict (there IS no conflict!) ; )

  • April 28, 2005, 9:31 a.m. CST

    What happens if ROTS is a good film, but doesn't do so well at t

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    Remember that "The Empire Strikes Back" did the worst in terms of box office of the original trilogy, and that it was panned in some quarters for being too dark. I wonder if we'll being seeing the same phenomena again this summer. Will it be considered a failure if it only grosses, say, $200 million domestically and another $200 million internationally?

  • April 28, 2005, 9:39 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK


  • April 28, 2005, 9:43 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Supershadow is completely full of shit. The jury is still out on whether he's utterly deluded or just the internet's most outrageous bullshit artist. Either way, the guy has waaaaaay too much time on his hands -- much more than the average angry masturbator in AICN's talkbacks, which is saying a lot.

  • April 28, 2005, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Cheers DocPazuzu.....

    by banthafodderUK

    ..... I just dont get how he gets away with pretending he's got GL answering fan questions ONAN ALMOST DAILY BASIS - lucas sues the fuck out of people just for naming their kids george (for copyright infringement!!) or whatever. Cheers for your comments anyyway man, I thought I was the only one who doubts this twat

  • April 28, 2005, 9:47 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu also the guy who will defend anything John Carpenter excretes these days. Oh, and the MP3s on his band's homepage are awful.

  • April 28, 2005, 9:48 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Hey, I'm in here too, chief.

  • April 28, 2005, 9:49 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    Lazy fucker at work too am I

  • April 28, 2005, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Everybody knows everybody will be there on opening day

    by moviemaniac-7

    and Ep.3 will set another BO-record. The review by Smith sounds great & I think this will be the best of the three. And what if the box office is disappointing? No more sequels? Fox & Lucas are filthy rich as they are. Like they give a fuck if only half the people show up. Personally, if I was George Lucas I would never have made Episode 3, 'cause it will never live up to the expectations of the fan base.

  • April 28, 2005, 10 a.m. CST

    Thanks Doc!

    by cocolopez

    thanks for the publicity! It's not a band though dickhead. Just me. I also think people can judge for themselves- and I'm sure the talented Doc can do that shit, eh? and put out four albums of it in three years? You fucking talentless ass reamer

  • April 28, 2005, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Box office is irrelevant

    by DocPazuzu

    I remember Uncle George being interviewed in Wired back in 1999 (before TPM opened) and saying that he fully expected ep3 to be the least financially sucessful movie of the whole series because of its bleakness. He might be wrong about the B.O., but to suggest he decided to get gritty with ROTS because of fanboy outrage (which some haters claim) is completely erroneous. Whether it sucks or not, I'm pretty sure he's remained faithful to his own vision and plan for the series.

  • April 28, 2005, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Ah, coco.... we meet again...

    by DocPazuzu

    Hey kids, don't forget to get the full scoop on why coco "One Man Band" lopez doesn't have a recording deal. Be sure to listen to the music first since it makes the explanation all the more hilarious.

  • April 28, 2005, 10:08 a.m. CST

    I call uncle

    by cocolopez

    "Uncle George"? wow DicFugazi you are a gay bastard. You want to sit on Uncle George's lap while he reads you a story?

  • April 28, 2005, 10:08 a.m. CST


    by moviemaniac-7

    Wasn't there talk of Frank Darabont doing the The Attack of the Clones and David Fincher doing the third episode. I've heard that rumor a long, long time ago in a galax... Nah, fuck it. Probably just a fanboy rumor or something. Fincher would have been an awesome choice (as would be Darabont by the way).

  • April 28, 2005, 10:10 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    I have a production deal and just got offered another- first one non-exclusive second one exclusive. But enough with Doc and his assumptions. Although I must thank you for the free press...

  • April 28, 2005, 10:15 a.m. CST

    wow again

    by cocolopez

    Jarv and Doc really listened to my shit? Obviously not. There is no BAND. I am an experimental hiphop artist with mostly my own production. And Jarv I have talked with plenty of A&R. Wow you goony gaylords will try anything in attempt to get under my skin. Sorry though it's a piss-poor attempt. Doc- is your asshole wet enough from Jarv's tongue yet? I bet you like it too- and Jarv USED TO BE AN A&R- let me guess- his company went under or he got fired- or he's full of shit- either one doesn't speak highly of your tastes...

  • April 28, 2005, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Hey Jarv

    by cocolopez

    you seem so set on arguing with me for some reason- hey I never said it was a MAJOR BLOCKBUSTER deal- didn't I say it was non-exclusive? Show me something you've done- oh right. What music do you even listen to? Wait- don't tell me- because I really don't care about you- not the way you seem obssessed with me. Anyway I guess the over 15 thousand streams on my ampcast site speaks volumes of how talentless I am.

  • April 28, 2005, 10:21 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK


  • April 28, 2005, 10:23 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    so now YOU'RE admittedly full of shit and I'm supposed to give YOU answers! LOL. What a twat you are! OH I'M INDUSTRY. Yeah you're industry alright. YOU'RE A FUCKING TOOLBOX.

  • April 28, 2005, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Why are hardcore LOTR fans always so incredibly insecure about w

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    Every Star Wars, Matrix, Harry Potter, etc. talkback on this website and others inevitably draws the usual raving LOTR fans out to get in everyone's faces to shout about how the one trilogy rules all others. It seems to me that if the LOTR movies/books really were that undeniably superior those fans wouldn't feel the need to constantly and repeatedly defend them. The hardcore fans would simply sit back and be confident in the overwhelming obviousness of LOTR's supremacy (if it actually existed). Instead though, the hardore LOTR fans are always zealously on the attack maligning every potential opponent that comes along. "Everything else sucks because it's not LOTR!" (I quote from memory.) It's like an obsession with them. It's a new day; I'm a LOTR fan; I have to go online and bash three other series by lunchtime or they'll kick me out of the club. Seriously, if you're really so overwhelmingly confident about LOTR, why bother? It's not as if the LOTR books and movies haven't already been wildly successful both commercially and critically. Why all the eternal insecurity?

  • April 28, 2005, 10:26 a.m. CST

    LOL even harder Jarv

    by cocolopez

    YOU'RE INDUSTRY and you don't even know what non-exclusive means- it means MY MATERIAL IS MINE AND THEY DON'T OWN IT. Wow now why don't you fess up to your real job- flipping griddle cakes or sucking truckdrivers cocks in reststops

  • April 28, 2005, 10:35 a.m. CST

    bathabakawhatever your dumb ass name is

    by cocolopez

    DicFugazi actually brought up my music- and that's why I retorted. As for "experimental"- what else would you call spoken word hip-hop versions of Edgar Allan Poe stories (The Tell-tale Heart can probably be found on my ampcast page) and songs like Bomb Shelter on the MySpace page? If you listened you'd be more informed and less of an asshole. And hey you're just as guilty bringing up my music more- I INITIALLY CAME HERE JUST TO SAY THAT THE PREQUELS ARE PUKE. Thanks Doc- again- for the press!

  • April 28, 2005, 10:37 a.m. CST


    by Forestal

    Damn it. 151st.

  • April 28, 2005, 10:39 a.m. CST

    ummm- no Jarv- you're wrong.

    by cocolopez

    Non exclusive- and now if you think about- REAL HARD- it'll make sense- means that they DON'T HAVE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO YOUR MATERIAL and that you can push it yourself and seek out other deals. Why bother pretending you know what you're saying? You sound really, really, pitifully stupid.

  • April 28, 2005, 10:40 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    Did I mention that I also work in a law office in Manhattan? Dumbass

  • April 28, 2005, 10:42 a.m. CST

    that meaning

    by cocolopez

    APART from my experience with labels- I know what the fuck I'm talking about

  • April 28, 2005, 10:46 a.m. CST

    I really would like to hear some of this music

    by vikingkitty

    Is there a link?

  • April 28, 2005, 10:52 a.m. CST

    who gives a shit JLO?

    by banthafodderUK

    good luck and all that, but fuck, you've really fucked up this TB : )- Im gonna have to start hobbit kiddly fiddler rumours soon to get things back to normal. what a load of old wank.

  • April 28, 2005, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Sure Jarv

    by cocolopez

    I take you seriously. ahem- anyway- vikingkitty- and I'll tell you what- scroll down to the material from my first album over three years ago- you can listen to stuff from my FIRST foray and tell me what you think- listen to The Tell-Tale Heart, Haunted, and World Without Bounds- the new stuff is better- but please- go ahead and you tell me...

  • April 28, 2005, 10:56 a.m. CST

    jarv, nicked any good gear yet?

    by banthafodderUK

    i need a new laptop, i'll even pay you in euros as you're off to espana

  • April 28, 2005, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Tell-Tale Heart, Haunted, and World Without Bounds?-

    by banthafodderUK

    sounds like kenny g to me mate - thought you said you were an 'ip-'op bwoy?

  • April 28, 2005, 10:58 a.m. CST

    oh JLO

    by cocolopez

    that's a good one BANTHAFODDERUK. I don't even have to change your moniker to make it sound fucking stupid. I fucked up this talkback? YOU FUCKED UP THIS TALKBACK. Your talkback sucks and you sound like an asshole. You want to get it back to Star Wars talk? Then SHUT THE FUCK UP and stop forcing me to talk about my music- which I never brought up. What a bunch of moes! And Jarv- it is never your field dealing with artists- but you have done a shitload of licenses? A license- the last time I checked- IS A DEAL MADE WITH AN ARTIST. Man- do you say ANYTHING that makes fucking sense? Hey Jarv- hold this penis...

  • April 28, 2005, 11:01 a.m. CST

    The funniest thing about cocopuff...

    by DocPazuzu how he -- with no films to his credit, mind you -- tears Star Wars to pieces, yet when his "music" is trashed he retorts using the worst possible nyah-nyah comeback ever devised: the ole "yeah, well I don't see YOU making music, asshole!"

  • April 28, 2005, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Dr Dreadlocks and

    by BarrelRider

    Dread: that money doesn't go to Smith, it goes to a charity which helps the victims of rape - as you would know if you'd bothered to read the site for more than a few seconds. Tiger: No, he didn't fucking make Gigli - don't comment on these boards if you're going to write utter shit without checking your information - you are wasting your time, my time, and you're also wasting bandwidth. The bitch-slap is complete.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:04 a.m. CST

    again BANTHA

    by cocolopez

    if you listened to it you'd sound like less of a jackass- albeit only to me at the moment- since no one else wants to listen- just make assumptions- tell you what take your silly ass talkback back- DicFugazi can crawl back out from whatever asshole he burrowed up in and continue pretending to be some genius with deep thoughts when he's really just a self revering little twat face who vanishes when he's made to look like the ass that he is... Happy lightsabering you gay bastards

  • April 28, 2005, 11:05 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu are, without a doubt, the angriest masturbator who ever set your cyber-foot in AICN. You're also everyone's bitch.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:06 a.m. CST

    ms lopez

    by banthafodderUK

    you can talk, you fucking deluded penarse - your 'moniker' sounds like a fucking cereal (so good it even turns the milk chocolatey). I dont give a monkeys bollock who brought your 'muzak' up - you dont have to force it down our necks. have some dignity and keep it stumf. IF I 'FORCED YOU TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MUSIC?', DOES THAT MEAN I CAN FORCE YOU GET BACK TO GNAWING ON YOUR MUM'S HAIRY AXE WOUND AND SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP? GOOD.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    That made my whole day, thanks.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Actually Doc

    by cocolopez

    I bought a canon xl1 for that express purpose- I'm filming a documentary and I have a treatment ready for a bigger project I plan on beginning in the summer- but no- that alone gives me no right to trash the prequels- what gives me the right is what gives EVERYONE the right- they wasted my time and money. And stop crying will-ya'? If my music was as bad as you're making it out to be then I would have kept silent- and I don't see many people except two jackasses that haven't listened to it joining your cause...

  • April 28, 2005, 11:10 a.m. CST

    Well . . .

    by vikingkitty

    I downloaded those three, and listened to pieces of them. Its not really the type of music I normally listen to, but I'm not going to criticize it. Hell, I heard worse on my drive to work this morning. Good luck!

  • April 28, 2005, 11:12 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    That's what DicFugazi always reverts to when he has nothing left to say. How fucking tired. and Bantha- no- you couldn't force me to do anything. You're too fucking WEAK.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:14 a.m. CST

    i cant be arsed....

    by banthafodderUK

    .... to listen to your music (even tho it is probably shit). And being called a jackass is quite cool over here (thanks to mr knoxville and bam). NOW FUCK OFF (AND GET ME A WHOPPER - I WANT A DISCOUNT NOW THAT WE'RE MATES). cunt

  • April 28, 2005, 11:14 a.m. CST

    "If my music was as bad as you're making it out to be then I wou

    by DocPazuzu

    Because, of course, the best gauge of quality in film and music is listening to their creators' judgment. No, it's true - just ask Dr. Uwe Boll.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:16 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    I feel a bit sorry for ms lopez now....................hang on no i dont, hes a cunt.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:18 a.m. CST

    now I'm a lawyer

    by cocolopez

    actually I'm a clerk- I never said I was a lawyer. Man you three are pathetic. If I wasn't making all three of you look duck you wouldn't be attempting to team up on me and congratulating each other for trite trash like my "mothers axe wound". you sound like the three stooges- just as stupid only much much gayer. you cats would be high fiving each other with your puds in each other's asses.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:21 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK


  • April 28, 2005, 11:22 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    You REALLY like to be served MEAT from other MALES, EH? Sorry though BANTHA I have a steady job and I make decent cash. My Christmas bonus alone last year was 3 K- there's good money in Bankruptcy. Maybe I'll come across one of your pleadings- probably Jarv's since he's full of shit and probably unemployed.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    again- assuming only makes you more of an idiot in my eyes- unless this is just a show for everyone else? I know my music is quality- and since you haven't even listened I obviously know more than you on the topic. Whatever though. You're a little faggot who likes grown men to serve him fast meat. Hold this penis, eh?

  • April 28, 2005, 11:26 a.m. CST

    but seriously

    by cocolopez

    It's been real... I'm off to the bank have fun with your lightsabers

  • April 28, 2005, 11:27 a.m. CST

    thanks Jarv!

    by cocolopez

    you make me feel good- not believing my situation- make me feel real fortunate! yeah I guess it is pretty unbelievable! My friends tell me the same thing- lol! Later dickhead!

  • April 28, 2005, 11:27 a.m. CST

    Going down for the count...

    by DocPazuzu

    Whenever someone starts bragging about cash during a TB argument or how many women they're having sex with, you know they're finished. Thanks for playing, coco. Come back any time.

  • April 28, 2005, 11:29 a.m. CST

    I reckon


    ....hes been playing that Lego starwars game. Going from that the films gonna be shite

  • April 28, 2005, 11:39 a.m. CST

    by weebay

  • April 28, 2005, 11:44 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK


  • April 28, 2005, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Prequels suck

    by weebay

    I agree with you Nosferatu. Even if Anakin doesn't kill the kids I still don't see how one little act of saving his son makes up for the millions of people he killed or helped kill. But don't tell that to the fanboys over on forcenet. Some of them are practically orgasmic over the destruction of the Jedi. I think alot them have Darth Sidious statues in there momma's basement. by Nosferatu Jones 2005-04-27 13:03:30

  • April 28, 2005, 11:50 a.m. CST

    coco is awesome

    by DocPazuzu

    No talkbacker flares up as hilariously and violently as coco, nor do any burn out as swiftly and spectacularly as he does either. He almost makes me forget how much I miss the unintentional hilarity of fettastic's input back in the day. Ah, good times...

  • April 28, 2005, 11:50 a.m. CST

    But realy!

    by ghkilgore

    I can't believe the Kevin Smith actualy said that Lucases' writing is as good a Billy Frikken Shakespear's!

  • April 28, 2005, 11:51 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    two of these assholes tell me I'll be serving fast food- so I'm an asshole for talking about money- what the fuck talkback are you reading doc?

  • April 28, 2005, 11:57 a.m. CST

    and Jarv

    by cocolopez

    it really isn't that unbelievable- you sour little girlboy. Even in a city where hardly anyone gets christmas bonuses anymore- think about it- what business- post 911- and following all the big dot com crashes- what business will be making the most money? The business of other people LOSING money. BANKRUPTCY LAW. Like I said- maybe I'll be seeing your pleading right soon... and doc stop clutching at straws here with all these different down for the counts and what nots- you've really fallen from grace. At one time you were an amusing adversary- now you're just an argumentless jerkoff in the company of true idiots. Alright I'm REALLY leaving now- not running or running scared or whatever- I'm just done with this feeble crap. Break out the champagne bottles girlboys! COCO has left the building

  • April 28, 2005, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Back so soon, coco?

    by DocPazuzu

    For someone who's overdrawn at the sperm bank you sure make a lot of references to other men holding each others' penises.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Well Coco...

    by InBloom

    ...I took the time to listen to quite a few of those tunes, and I actually think there's potential there. I'd like to know what programmes you use for the beats - or indeed whether you use much hardware in production. My favorite is probably the telltale heart, although I don't think you make it clear enough who you've murdered - is it your neighbour? Your dad? Some guy who tried to touch you when you were young? Good tune though - and I love the way the beats of the tune are like the heartbeat, it's been done before but it works well in that tune. Anyhoo, you're trying to do some interesting things with hip hop and i applaud you for that. Have you heard any of Dizze Rascal's stuff? He's from the uk, I think - but I think you'd like some of his stuff and maybe get some inspiration there. Keep it up though - you never know what might happen. OK, this is actually my first ever TB post, so I'd better at least say SOMETHING which is on topic: I respect Smith's opinions on Star Wars, and I think it can only be a good thing that he liked ROTS - but we'll wait and see....

  • April 28, 2005, 12:05 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    do you say anything original? Bantha or Jarv's joke was the sperm bank- (actually it was Signature Bank across the street) and I said hold my penis because you guys want me to feed you meat- WHOPPERS and BIG MACS no less! Fucking faggots. Really though Doc. You're like this little annoying mimic- nothing of your own to say- just harping on invalid shit and other people's comments- OH YOU'RE EVERYONE'S BITCH OH you sounds like a spectator at some talk show- a girl spectator more precisely- shit you see? you got me to stick around longer. but that's what you wanted- because you're attracted to me or some gay shit. Here- take Bantha and Jarv- I like you Doc- but not that way- know what I'm saying? fucking fruitbat

  • April 28, 2005, 12:09 p.m. CST

    thanks inbloom

    by cocolopez

    I use keyboards, drum machines, a sampletrak and other little things- even a theremin... I've never heard Dizzee's stuff but I'll check it out on your recommendation... I was leaving- only replied because you had balls to tell your honest opinion- not like these fake ass cardboard fronts... Thanks

  • April 28, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    otherproducers I work with use MPCs and computer programs- and through my engineer I have access to a Motif, Fantom and triton

  • April 28, 2005, 12:13 p.m. CST

    "Why are hardcore LOTR fans..."

    by Right Bastard

    Like most people here, I've been a Tolkien fan since I was about 6 years old. Around the same time I discovered Star Wars. That being said, if you saw the gathering of the "Ringers" (LOTR version of Trekkies) at the Comic Con, you would have been scared. I know a few of these people,! Especially the ones who never read the books before they saw the movies. Now, I've been a PJ fan since my friend got a japanese laserdisc bootleg of "Bad Taste" about 15 years ago, and I love LOTR; but it's really hard to match the fanaticism of LOTR fans. "Tolkien is God, and PJ is jesus" (that's what a girl at the Comic Con told me). As cool as Star Wars is, Led Zeppelin, Rush, and Leonerd Nemoy never wrote songs dedicated to it. A lot of people (including myself) are too young to remember, but there was a HUGE Tolkein cult going on in this country in the late 60's and early 70's. I'm a fan, but not a fanatic. I brought it up in this topic because FOTR and TPM are both exposition films, so I thought it was an apt comparison.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:16 p.m. CST


    by ghkilgore

    Your chronometer is temporaly challenged. Our are you typing into the future from yesterday?

  • April 28, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    I've noticed that the angrier you get, the more you talk about man-on-man action. Just come out and be done with it. There is no shame in being gay. Besides, you have so very many other things to be embarrassed about -- like your riotously bad "take" on Poe.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:20 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    Sorry Dic- but I'm not angry. Not gay either. and my take on poe (even more so my Masque of the Red Death) is better than anything you'll ever create in your sorry pathetic life.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Right Bastard and The Ballad of Bilbo Bagins

    by ghkilgore

    But Leonard Nimoy did wright a song about Bilbo Bagins. In fact he did an entire music video. Check it out.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Vulcan off meds

    by ghkilgore

    This why you should be glad the Vulcans don't normaly show their emotions. You know his Jewish A$$ was getting some of that cuchie.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:36 p.m. CST

    "my take on poe is better than anything you'll ever create in yo

    by DocPazuzu

    I feel so..... worthless.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:48 p.m. CST

    yeah, that's the stuff

    by Right Bastard

    That is the greatest video ever. "Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins! Bavest Hobbit of them all!" Better than Shatner.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:48 p.m. CST

    dic- (which you seem to answer to)

    by cocolopez

    here's a tear for you... >sob< and okay you can have THE LAST WORD- if that makes you feel like a winner! YOU WON DOC! You win- and your prizes are a stunning loss, the obvious semblance of a fool who knows not when to quit, the distinction of most worthless and unoriginal voice in a fruitless argument, and most importantly- THE LAST WORD... here's to you Dic! A real Blue Ribbon Asshole!

  • April 28, 2005, 12:53 p.m. CST


    by ghkilgore

    That because in the words of Sean Connory "James T. KoK$UCKER" is only half Jew.

  • April 28, 2005, 12:59 p.m. CST

    All I get is a blue ribbon this time?

    by DocPazuzu

    At the last flame war in the Carpenter talkback you went off into a deranged rant and passed around a trophy cup that you wanted other talkbackers to blow their loads into. Remember that one? You're losing your edge, coco.

  • April 28, 2005, 1 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    What drugs are you on?

  • April 28, 2005, 1:10 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    good memory doc! obviously it was a mental image that you treasured dearly! I almost feel... honored- but- I got to question why you've got a silver cup full of semen imprinted in your mind... You didn't actually want to drink that thing, did ya' Doc? Doc? >showing concern<

  • April 28, 2005, 1:14 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Objectively speaking, I'd be more concerned with the mind that thought it up rather than the one remembering it.

  • April 28, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST

    God bless the internet!

    by PhilConnors

  • April 28, 2005, 1:18 p.m. CST


    by morGoth

    ...would you please cite an example from this Talk Back about what you're talking about? I'm a big loTR since 1976 and I'm curious if you'd care to engage in a discussion over your topic with me. That way, I can determine if I'm the type of fan you're talking about, I guess. Hey, are you going to tell me there aren't any equally rabid SW fans? I mean, I don't come on SW TB's to troll fans but I will respond to shitty comments about LoTR...the movies or otherwise. Look at some of the archived LoTR (particularly the RoTK reviews)TB's and, be honest, tell me there aren't some pretty fucking scary SW fans out there. Let me just state even before you get wound up that you're taking things out of context and applying a pretty wide brush to all LoTR fans. ** Rules that apply to TriumphPoops?!!! That's one of the most ridiculously stupid/funny things I've read in a week.

  • April 28, 2005, 1:19 p.m. CST

    I'd be more concerned with the mind that thought it up

    by cocolopez

    You would be- only...?

  • April 28, 2005, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Re: Razorback: 'My so called life'

    by sym69

    Razorback @ 2005-04-27 12:08:09 "I wasn't posting because I am also living the other portion of my life that isn't on this board (I know, I am nutty like that)." Last post previous: 2005-04-27 10:08:09 So, living your so called 'life' were you? Wow, for all of 2 hours 13seconds? Is that all you could take of the 'real' world, you cod piece? Wait a minute...just enough time to sneak a watch of Episode V...mmm it all adds up now. Major Geek? Major Asshole more like! n' a nutty one at that!

  • April 28, 2005, 1:23 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    ...if I'd had any concern about you whatsoever.

  • April 28, 2005, 1:24 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    that's pretty funny too- are you suggesting yourself a flamethrower? we have another word for that in Queens: HOMO.

  • April 28, 2005, 1:28 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    ...I'm sure you're the most well-versed person in Queens when it comes to that subject, "Poe."

  • April 28, 2005, 1:34 p.m. CST

    well Dic

    by cocolopez

    it's apparant that you actually DO have concerns to me- you seem to keep replaying your last "flame war" with me- I must be some kind of legend to you. And ohh man you got me with that "poe" zinger! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP you're not funny- you're not as smart as you think you are- and you're not original. You're just like a million other douchebags who aren't smart talented or funny. The almighty DicFugazi is just a sour deflated bitter little piss-ant who carries on like a little baby who's nuk was just swiped- go ahead though get the last word and at least amuse yourself with it- because I find your latest feeble attempts at a "flame war" the least bit amusing. Have fun talking to yourself Dic

  • April 28, 2005, 1:37 p.m. CST

    I guess what I'm saying Dic...

    by cocolopez

    is that I don't want to keep you around as my bitch anymore.

  • April 28, 2005, 1:39 p.m. CST


    by monkeybrow

    dude...that pulsating vein in your sloping forehead is going to pop!

  • April 28, 2005, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Will you 3 knock it off or take it to email?

    by IAmLegolas

    And let's get back to some Prequel bashin', like this thread was intended for.

  • April 28, 2005, 1:44 p.m. CST

    Hoo-ha! Tickets to the Leicester Square marathon are going for

    by evergreen

    ..and to think I would never have known about it if I didn't frequent this humble website....

  • April 28, 2005, 1:46 p.m. CST

    As usual...

    by DocPazuzu make a big Cartman-style production of leaving, only to sit with bated breath in the wings, hoping - silently pleading - that nobody will reply to your last post, so that you can go back to adding odious "musical" noodlings to your sissy verbal posturing (which will never earn you so much as a dime, by the way). You think that by pretending to not give a shit about what we write about you, and then feigning an exit, that we'll leave you alone. However, your self-esteem is so poor that as soon as someone baits you, you immediately jump back in, ending the feeble illusion that you don't care - not that we ever believed it anyway. With a little bit of button-pushing I'm pretty sure we can coax another bout of mediocrity-fuelled rage out of you before you give up.

  • April 28, 2005, 2:02 p.m. CST

    So has the VCD been posted yet?

    by minderbinder

    That's what I'm waiting for.

  • April 28, 2005, 2:24 p.m. CST


    by Razorback

    I AM a major asshole. Thank you for noticing. I try so hard to make it obvious. Now let us get back to how awesome Revenge of the Sith is going to be... because you know it will be kick ass.

  • April 28, 2005, 2:53 p.m. CST

    cocolopez's post comes to mind, morGoth

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    And you yourself were pretty quick to anger and get defensive over banthafodderUK's minor passing reference to "gay Hobbits". Certainly, I won't deny that there are rabid fans in every quarter, but the rabid wing of the LOTR group seems to be the worst and most aggressive. Also, I didn't say every LOTR fan was as I described, only a certain strain of them. Having just gone back and reread the AICN talkbacks on the RotK and TTT reviews as you suggested, I would say they support my position. There are numerous posts there by LOTR fans praising those two movies exclusively in terms of bashing other famous and popular movie series, which is a habit you don't generally see used by fans of other films or series. For further supporting examples, I recommend checking out the AICN reviews for any of the Star Wars prequels, the last two Matrix movies, or any of the Harry Potter films. Frankly, though, it doesn't matter to me that some LOTR fans have a constant need to bash other films (that's their personal choices), I was just wondering WHY they always feel the need to do so. My apologies to any LOTR fans I might have offended with my earlier post. That wasn't my intention.

  • April 28, 2005, 2:58 p.m. CST

    George Lucas ruined my christmas!

    by HarryBlackPotter

    I was 7 years old and had just written my letter for Santa. So there I was, a few days before christmas, and who should turn up at my front door? None other than George Lucas. Y'see, our plumming was all to hell and George was the local handyman, so George comes in and sorts the plumming out. While he's working he starts asking me what I want for christmas and I whispter "A Millennium Falcon, and a Death Star with trash-compactor". And then he looks at me side-ways (because he's laying on the kitchen floor with his hand under the sink). "I think you're going to be disappointed, young one." I look at him mortified. "Why? What do you know that I don't!" "You're getting the same as you got last year!" "NNNNooooo!!!! That's not true. That's impossible!" "It's a football. Not a leather one either. A cheap plastic one!" "But how do you knooooowwww!" I wailed. He then reached further under the sink and I could hear his greasy hands on wrapping paper. "Because I felt your presents." Ahem!

  • April 28, 2005, 3:08 p.m. CST

    Bravest Little Hobbit of them all

    by Kentucky Colonel

    That video was better than TPM. Anything with Nimoy owns my ass.

  • April 28, 2005, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Remember when?

    by monkeybrow

    how stupid all of the spooge marks felt at TPM when they finally discovered how insignificant Darth Maul was in the film....while sitting there dressed to the nines as him?/...obese, pimply covered faces slathered in red and black? I would die for another moment like that!

  • April 28, 2005, 3:35 p.m. CST

    missing links

    by carss

    how does leia remember images/feelings about her true mother in ROTJ...when does anakin give obi wan the light sabre tat obi wan gives to luke in ANH?

  • April 28, 2005, 3:51 p.m. CST

    "her true mother"

    by DocPazuzu

    At that point in ROTJ, she probably still thought her adoptive mother was her real mom and her memories were of her. Luke's comment about not remembering his mother is, as I see it, a way of saying that they both (since they're twins) were taken from their mother at birth.

  • April 28, 2005, 3:52 p.m. CST

    "when does anakin give obi wan the light sabre"

    by DocPazuzu

    I'm guessing he just takes it after Anakin gets fried.

  • April 28, 2005, 3:56 p.m. CST


    by MartyfromWales

    im pretty damn sure i was reading some talkback on starwars somewhere? anyone know where the fuck that has gone? maybe to McD's with cocopops?!! ha ha

  • April 28, 2005, 4:10 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    Hey where did everybody go? You LURED me back out Dic! What a fucking tar baby! I'm stuck! Thanks for your opinions on my tracks Dic- they don't mean shit of course- but thanks. But on the serious side- I had a lot of fun with you assholes today. Doc tried to make the whole board turn against me- meanwhile the two people that actually listened to my tracks gave me generally favorable reviews (well not as much vikingkitty who admitted that it wasn't her type of music)... Sorry Dic- I guess it was just you and your two gay buddies along for the ride! It's funny when Dic's gang's whole thing was to sit here and make assumptions about me whilst I consistently proved them wrong- and then their only argument is that I'm obssessed with myself while it was they who prodded my answers. They just LOVE making asssumptions about me- you love me Dic? Word of advice- get a life. I really shouldn't calculate into your days activities without provocation. Makes you look like a little girlboy. Thanks again Dic- til next time- FLAME WARS III, eh? Next time let's actually make it about something rather than you trying to belittle my music which blew up in your tired little cunt mouth face. Whatever though- I won't lie- I got some guffaws out of the whole thing. By the way George Lucas is the antichrist. I blame him solely for the clotted stream of endless mindless summer movies with soulless CGI. But WHAT RIGHT do I have to say so DIC WONDERS being that I haven't made my own movie yet? Free Speech assholes. The same thing that gives Dic the right to make himself look like Shirley Temple with her skirt yanked up everytime he's on board. And yeah I still excuse Carpenter- he gave us Halloween and The Thing- two films that I cherish more than an ever-revamping Star Wars helmed by the ultimate gearhead toolbox. Good night assholes! May the farce be with you

  • April 28, 2005, 4:19 p.m. CST

    good one martymcwhales!

    by cocolopez

    good one! McD's with Cocopops! Har! Well with all the Star Wars related talkback you yourself have written I could... Well... I couldn't do anything- because you haven't written anything about Star Wars on this board.

  • April 28, 2005, 4:22 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    .....there it is! I knew you had one more diatribe in there somewhere, coco! You certainly never disappoint. Can't wait to give you another anyeurism in whatever talkback you show up in nest time. For the record, no organized bitch-slapping of you is ever required. People tend to spontaneously want to beat your ass as soon as you open your fetid maw. I'll be seeing you -- real soon. In fact, I'm sure you'll be back on this very talkback.

  • April 28, 2005, 4:22 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    C'mon bastards! I got ten minutes left here! Sure is rough though while I'm flipping these burgers on the grill! Hey does McDonald's even have internet for their employ? Oh no- that's right- probably not. This law office sure does though. Nice air conditioning too and I sure enjoyed that iced white chocolate mocha from StarBucks while I did generally no work this whole afternoon... geesh! Sucks to be me!

  • April 28, 2005, 4:25 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    "Can't wait to give you another anyeurism in whatever talkback you show up in nest time." Huh? Nest time? You gay fucking woodpecker.

  • April 28, 2005, 4:25 p.m. CST

    it really is funny

    by mocky_puppet

    watching DocPazuzu make fun of cocolopez. It really is.

  • April 28, 2005, 4:29 p.m. CST

    hey mocky

    by cocolopez

    yeah I guess you have to entertain your tired ass somehow, eh? MockyPuppet. Watch out B'low me there dickmunch

  • April 28, 2005, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Resorting to slamming typos now, coco?

    by DocPazuzu

    Note to self: add "bragging about cushy job" to list of sure-fire signs of talkback self-destruction, along with "boasting about cash" and "loads of imaginary sex."

  • April 28, 2005, 4:57 p.m. CST

    still here cocopuff?

    by monkeybrow

    is it not time to seduce your imaginary secretary? or pilot your f-16 to 7-11 for a big-gulp? How about adding more stacks of c-notes to that raging hearth near your cushy, plush, corithian leathered office chair? or is it that you are busy changing the grease in the deep-fat fryer?

  • April 28, 2005, 5:03 p.m. CST

    I listed to 'Magnetic Slap' and I suggest a career change.

    by FluffyUnbound

    By the way, just out of curiosity - how is this "experimental"? It sounds pretty mainstream 1993 to me. At a low quality level, of course, but not low enough to be distinctive.

  • April 28, 2005, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Sorry, that's "listened", naturally.

    by FluffyUnbound

    Although when I was done I wished I had merely listed it, instead of listened to it.

  • April 28, 2005, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Oh, man... Who was that asshole late last year who did the same

    by ZeroCorpse

    I can't remember his name. Some asshole was in the talkback (usually the political ones) talking about his high-paying job, having lots of sex, and being more important than all of us combined. He was an ignorant, racist jerk, too. Who was that guy?

  • April 28, 2005, 5:18 p.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    Sounds like vikingkitty, GreatOne, GingerTwit or Mace Windex to me.

  • April 28, 2005, 5:54 p.m. CST

    fucking right! now watch I and II, read this review, then think

    by atomheartbrother

  • April 28, 2005, 6:09 p.m. CST

    SPOILERS here! Be warned...

    by Robofag

    Anakin will almost die at the end... and become somekind of cyborg. Then we'll learn that he had two kids with Padme. There are people who believes that the Star Wars trilogy of the eighties was a sequel to this trilogy, and that it's related to how it ends... but I have trouble to believe that. Ben Kenobi had Yoda as teacher, Owen Lars was closely related to Anakin Skywalker and frustrated at him for leaving him to become a Jedi and going to war, and Leia had memories of her mother. I think that these were other movies...

  • April 28, 2005, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Yoiks! I see what you mean about cocolopez, ExcaliburFfolkes.

    by morGoth

    Sorry, missed his first post. Wonder if he's the same lad who used to post under the handle 'Peteywheatstraw?'I could argue that he was reacting to similar verbiage that I did. Banthafodderuk

  • April 28, 2005, 6:18 p.m. CST

    who the fuck is Kerry Conran?!?

    by PlantBoy!

    Did he win the latest Project Greenlight or something?

  • April 28, 2005, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Kevin Smith, obviously bias

    by Eshu

    I would

  • April 28, 2005, 6:45 p.m. CST


    by JeeBus

    Where are you? I'm bored.

  • April 28, 2005, 6:47 p.m. CST

    I'm hungry

    by JeeBus

    I'm hungry as well Coco. Make me a hamburger and rap to me as you serve it.

  • April 28, 2005, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Plantboy. . .

    by krullboy

    Conran made "Sky Captain"

  • April 28, 2005, 8:31 p.m. CST

    Coco and Wham!!!!!!! LIVE ON AMERICAN IDOL!

    by krullboy

    Just wait until he does a "spoken word" album of the "Silmarillion", set to "Careless Whisper" by George Michael, or how about " of Beren and Luthien" set to "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston. . . imagine the possibilities!!! And if he takes the stunt on American Idol, wow. Watch out Clay Aiken, here comes Coco pebbles, and his back up band, Lucky Charms, with a guest appearance by Mueslix.

  • April 28, 2005, 9:19 p.m. CST

    Can someone point me in the direction of the Star Wars talkback?

    by Lone Fox

    I'm sure it's here somewhere

  • April 28, 2005, 9:37 p.m. CST


    by Ribbons

    Long time no see. Man, I wish I hadn't read that review. Consider my ass thorougly spoiled.

  • April 28, 2005, 9:41 p.m. CST

    Now hold a sec.....this doesnt sound right

    by JarJarIsVader

    So according to the great Kevin Smith, Obi-wan turn Anakin in a quadriplegic and then just let him sit there next to hot lava? He just WALKS away? The fuck is that all about? Wouldn

  • April 28, 2005, 10:04 p.m. CST


    by DFOV

    since Anakin helped destroy the other Jedi including the halflings. I think Obi feels the need to let Anakin suffer sans limbs by that lovely pool of lava to reflect on the deeds he has done....

  • April 28, 2005, 11:39 p.m. CST

    Fair enough, morGoth.

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    You are absolutely correct, things did get seriously foul all around back in the days of open email addresses around here. I was extremely glad when Harry finally got smart and ended that particular practice. A franchise truce sounds fine to me. I never saw the point in fighting over it anyway. They (LOTR, Star Wars, the Matrix, Harry Potter, etc.) are all incredible movie series and I just feel privileged to be around to see them as they are released. Here's hoping the loonies on all sides will chill out. And again, I apologize for any offense I may have caused.

  • April 29, 2005, 12:36 a.m. CST

    I cant WAIT for Bar Whores - Revence of the Syph....ilus

    by SydBarretsMyDad

    ....Im just itching for it to come out!!

  • April 29, 2005, 1:18 a.m. CST

    Why, yes I am, Archenemysis

    by ol' painless

    I've been sitting in a cupboard for almost 20 years now since Big 'Ol Jesse Ventura put me down after filming, but six barrells quietly rusting in the dark . . . mind you, see what happened to Jesse: he fell so far down the ladder, he ended up as governor of Minnesota! Still, could be worse: he could have ended up as the governor of California! I mean, whats next: Carl Weathers as the governor of Delaware? Thats just one step above flipping burgers next to Coco at McDonalds!

  • April 29, 2005, 2:15 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    Hope he's ok, you lot are evil!!!!

  • April 29, 2005, 2:21 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    'non-exclusive' track-'Breakdancin' with Tolkien'. ; )

  • April 29, 2005, 2:37 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    you make perfect sense mate- I dont troll on here, i was just reading the posts, and that cocopopsJLopez just got on my tits a bit, (along with everyone else it seems). I was just having fun. As ive said before, I like LOTR (im getting bored of saying it a bit to be honest), but I like SW better, thats all. : D

  • April 29, 2005, 2:59 a.m. CST


    by bunny_lebowski

    Kevin Smith likes a Star Wars movie? This is a shocking development.

  • April 29, 2005, 3:07 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    Glad you like dizzee rascal mate - but cocojennyfromtheblock's stuff is shit - he'll probably start chatting on the mike with a broad london twang now : )

  • April 29, 2005, 3:46 a.m. CST

    I'm hungry as well Coco. Make me a hamburger and rap to me as yo

    by banthafodderUK

    sorry for posting so many so quickly, but I just got into the office today and saw all the crazy shit you all posted - LAUGHED MY ARSE OFF PEOPLE!!!

  • April 29, 2005, 4:17 a.m. CST

    last day today eh jarv?

    by banthafodderUK

    did you see all the shit that went on after we left yesterday? Good to see so many great minds eh? : D

  • April 29, 2005, 6:39 a.m. CST

    Have a good vacation, Jarv!

    by DocPazuzu

    Kudos to you all for the suggested future projects for coco. I see he's on his way to becoming a widespread AICN catchphrase/joke. Funny shit.

  • April 29, 2005, 7 a.m. CST

    Another talkback so incredibly long it becomes unreadable.

    by scrumdiddly

    I always thought "Empire" was the LIGHTEST movie of the trilogy - the optimistic tone before the battle on hoth, the confident tone at the end...dark why? because of one line? I'll wait for a real review:)

  • April 29, 2005, 7:23 a.m. CST

    For those of you...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...who can't get enough of the god who is cocolopez:

  • April 29, 2005, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Thank you for the SPOILER WARNINGS. Believe me, it is so tempti

    by JDanielP

    Damn it, I desire sO mUCh to read this!!! But I mUSt reSist the pUll Of the darK Side... And as HUGE of a "STAR WARS" fan as I am, I admit that my wife is even a bigger fan. And wOw, how amazing is that?! (She even likes superhero characters!) In fact, my wife is such a fan... that she purchased tickets for us to see the midnight showing, here in our town. So we'll be the first to see it, here. And it just can't get here soon enough!!! After all, there are temptations from everywhere to know too much. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERY SPOILER WARNING.

  • April 29, 2005, 9:30 a.m. CST

    really guys

    by cocolopez

    lol! and I was supposedly the one provoked and heated? I come in to work this morning and there's like twenty five posts still calling for me! Looks like all of you life challenged fan boys whipped yourselves into a frenzy! I guess you'll all just have to cling to whatever situations you regularly endure until the next cliffhanger! On a last note Lord I wish I made better music! Because I'm greedy and want so much more money than I make in my cushy job! Over 15,ooo streams on one site alone ain't enough for me! Hatred from fanboys on AINT IT COOL NEWS who don't even listen to hip-hop and who pull on their lightsabers all year in anticipation for ROTS REALLY get under my skin! A TRUE ARTIST like Doc Pazuzu who knows better than to tell me what good music sounds like for fear of leaving himself open DOESN'T LIKE MY SONGS! OH WOE IS ME! His ass kissing goons that actually make HIM look intelligent are so bitter about their own boring lives that they try to project their crappy burger flipping lives on me! Like JARV- a real hero- admittedly out of work but instead of looking for a new job he's slothfully wasting his fat ass life away online AWAITING my replies! now that I think about it- it's a little touching... You guys are great!

  • April 29, 2005, 9:42 a.m. CST

    So, ...I take it that Keven Smith liked it? (heh,heh) I quit r

    by JDanielP

    Judging by the trailer, it looks as if the computer effects have made another jump, as if more vibrant and real, ...more depth and color. Wow.

  • April 29, 2005, 9:56 a.m. CST

    oh yeah

    by cocolopez

    I guess I should just throw all these reviews that I stopped collecting some time ago in the trash- because Doc's such a hip-hop expert... NY ORIGINAL

  • April 29, 2005, 10:11 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    aww what happen to the SW talkback!?!? coco FUCKED it all up! (hey doc ;) it'll be our little secret- but thanks for moving the conversation to my music and getting me all those new hits on my site! ESPECIALLY the hits from haters! I LOVE wasting their time, and yours!)

  • April 29, 2005, 10:29 a.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    AND for those who JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH and already FULLY DIGESTED THE CARPENTER TB- here's the QUINTESSENTIAL CLASSIC COCO which FIRST CAUGHT Doc's eye! Ladies and gentlemen let's go back in time to the INFAMOUS YODA FARTS TALKBACK!!!

  • April 29, 2005, 10:35 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    You're in the wrong TB. We're all over in the other new Star Wars TB ripping you and your site to pieces. Come on over.

  • April 29, 2005, 10:38 a.m. CST


    by banthafodderUK

    Get your spunkleaking arse over to the latest SW thread then, and see how many different people have taken the abslute piss out of you and cunted you off - theres even new coco's mum's hairy axe wound shit.

  • April 29, 2005, 10:38 a.m. CST

    nah doc

    by cocolopez

    it'd be funnier to see you losers run to me

  • April 29, 2005, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Yes, but did Lucas manage to insert the Wilhelm scream somewhere

    by Mel Garga

    Specifically, when a certain Gungan gets snubbed out.....

  • April 29, 2005, 11:48 a.m. CST

    R.C.'s opinion: EIII will blow! I'm only seeing it because I w

    by R.C. the "Wise"

    Heck, the "hype" commercials are probably ten times better than the film, especially the M&M's one! But as far as being excited about the film, that lust ended two minutes after the Phantom Menace ended!

  • April 29, 2005, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Burgers, anyone!

    by JeeBus

    Jarv, thank you for the McD's material that has helped everyone here malign Mr. Coco Puff Lopez. And to Coco, where the hell is my burger? Damn, where's a good rapping-burger-flipper when you need one?

  • April 29, 2005, 12:17 p.m. CST

    The Wilhelm is for a better character than Jar Jar

    by Right Bastard

    Like maybe the Clone in the corner sweeping up the Tauntaun crap. My favorite Wilhelm site:

  • April 29, 2005, 12:36 p.m. CST


    by cocolopez

    you want that well done? Here let me switch away from my desk and computer in my Manhattan office to help you with that.

  • April 29, 2005, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Star Wars ROTS

    by doobieflixx

    As long as it is better than the first two I will be happy. The trailers have all looked great. I just want to see Lucas end it right. He's done it before. My fingers are crossed. Kevin Smith you rule in reviews but why so many spoilers? Enjoy the movie all. Stop the bashing for once. I have to say though, I never thought this "first" thing would last this long. It's pretty retarded at this point. (whoops- just added fuel to the fire).

  • April 29, 2005, 4:43 p.m. CST

    If you don't like TPM or AOTC...

    by Negative

    ... then you never loved Star Wars in the first place. Oh, and you're a fucking moron, too.

  • April 29, 2005, 4:47 p.m. CST

    Damn you! Archenemysis!

    by doobieflixx

    You are truely a thorn in my paw. Could I resist? I think I could. But I'd think about it. In the meantime, ten other losers would claim to be first....ahem....before I'd write anything.

  • April 29, 2005, 9:27 p.m. CST

    Anyone who wants a massive erection--

    by Batutta

    Should check out these new HD resolution trailers on Apple's website. You have to update to QT 7, but damn it's worth it!

  • April 29, 2005, 10:14 p.m. CST

    change to "Vader, rise" scene

    by Mister Nobody

    The video for "Hero Falls" shows Vader being raised on that table thing and his hands are no longer manacled behind his head. Did Lucas reshoot that scene since the teaser trailer?

  • April 29, 2005, 10:56 p.m. CST

    Fuck off razorvack

    by GiftedInThePants

    TPM was hated by everyone but shiteating SW fans in denial.

  • April 29, 2005, 11:50 p.m. CST


    by pood

    glad kevin smith likes it. can't wait to watch it myself. and also can't wait for an even richer lucas to make whatever films he wants when he's done with star wars.

  • April 30, 2005, 4:17 a.m. CST

    GiftedInThePants(lol) you're dead WRONG

    by Negative

    Actually it is YOU who is in the minority. Most people DID enjoy TPM, and AOTC. Don't think so? SUCK IT. Then check rottentomatoes, yahoo movies, etc. 6 or 7 out of every 10 people enjoyed it. BWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • April 30, 2005, 12:09 p.m. CST

    morGoth, Ribbons!

    by Devil'sOwn

    Mah BRUTHAS!!! Man, it's been too long! It's the great to hear from you.

  • April 30, 2005, 3:07 p.m. CST

    AIIEEE!!! The Devil's Own is amongst us!!!

    by morGoth

    What say there O Scorching One? Haven't heard from you since an age an' a half dood!! I tried e-mailing you some time back but your addy must've changed. Drop me a line at the same old addy and I'll tell ya where the TE's are hanging out these days (hint: Club Angband :) ** Saw the preview for this in front of HHGTTG last night and I must looks absolutely killer. Looks lie this third installment is going to make up for the deficiencies of the first two from my POV.

  • April 30, 2005, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Hola Ribbons!!

    by morGoth

    Yeah, I shouldn't have read any more when Kevin started the spoilers either...but ah canna help it! From the preview I saw last night, I'd say Kevin's buzz seems warranted.

  • April 30, 2005, 3:16 p.m. CST

    RE: banthafodderuk and ExcaliburFfolkes...

    by morGoth

    ...thankee kindly for your fair words and I apologize for any harshness on my part. I'd say we're all in for a huge treat in just a few short weeks!

  • April 30, 2005, 3:23 p.m. CST

    RE: Mementosfresh

    by morGoth


  • April 30, 2005, 9:08 p.m. CST


    by flossygomez

    mrfantasto has summed it all up, I need not comment.

  • April 30, 2005, 9:44 p.m. CST

    Someone please tell me...

    by tango fett

    What did MinasTirithII say that everyone is talking about? I think I missed that one. Explain.

  • May 1, 2005, 2:01 a.m. CST

    Why Star Wars Sucks

    by keithrichards01

    Why Star Wars Sucks "They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally they became heroes."

  • May 1, 2005, 6:20 a.m. CST

    I've been assuming all along that ROTS was going to be a big scr

    by CertifiedTHX

    ...the early buzz is actually quite impressive. The review by Kevin Smith is, as far as I can tell, authentic. I've not read it because of the heavy spoilers contained within. But it's right there on his web site, and he does describe the movie as "f***ing amazing!" I'm beginning to think that Lucas may have actually nailed it with this one. He may have hit a home run. The movie may actually live up to, and even surpass, the trailer hype. Okay, my hopes are officially on the rise. They were already high--I was already expecting it to be great fun--but there may actually be some substantive material here. Days left: 19. I'm so psyched!

  • May 1, 2005, 7:20 a.m. CST

    ROTS will only work.............

    by DECKERS

    ...if there is a scene with Pantme hoisting up her regal dress to show Chewie 'Who has the furriest Wookie hole' RROOOAARRR!! Seriously, who cares?-There is going to be ZERO excitment watching this movie as we all know the outcome-it will be a piece of delicious eye candy and nothing more.

  • May 1, 2005, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Still no mention of Ja Ja in the media?

    by DrLektor

    Is he actually in the movie? But DocPazuzu was right there, the clones (baring in mind that all the remaining Kimino troopers will still be around in some form 20 or so years later) are bound to be phased out, the Imperial academy, while maybe an expanded universe or comic idea was bound to start heavy training of new troopers. Here's a theory I have on lightsaber fighting too. You notice how Yoda or was it Ben? Mentioned how the force is used for defence, never for attack? Doesn't that make "fighting" a dodgy issue for a lightsider? I think with every saber battle in the movies, the only time the good guys gain the upper hand is when they tap into that dark part of the force, to put it bluntly, they get fucking angry. Even Obi-Wan in TPM after he sees his master beaten, you can't tell me there wasn't a big angry vibe coming off him. I can only speculate on this though, being one of the few people in the world not having seen episode III yet. Mace Windu, according to some Lucas source (or maybe the back of a cereal packet) has a nifty purple lightsaber because he's a "heavy blade wielder" dangerously close to the dark side because of his aggressive fighting style.

  • May 1, 2005, 11:26 a.m. CST


    by Jar Jar 4 Prez

    Because they're a bunch of hypocritical twats who haven't had a good album in decades.

  • May 1, 2005, 5:50 p.m. CST

    keithrichards01 follows many a fanboy...

    by ed exley talking out his ass. One of the many sources that 'fans' pretend to have read is the hero of a thousand faces, where the argument of 'ordinary' heroes vs the 'elite' is spelled out in detail. Luke is part of the elite, a 'prince' in hiding (like Lonestar!) who goes through trails and atones for the sins of his father. Also, the whole senate/trade routes/taxation element is in the first couple of chapters -- while King Minos of Crete was busy fighting over trade routes, his wife humped his prize bull and the evil minotaur was born, get it? If you don

  • May 1, 2005, 10:34 p.m. CST

    I loved THX1138

    by flossygomez

    are they gonna have a naked bald chick in Sith? Seriously... I'll watch ROTS just because I'm a diehard and for no other reason. Classic example of what's wrong with the prequels. Exposition: The midichlorian nonsense. Destroyed all wonder surrounding the force. Using a so called "serial" to blather on about political views (can you hear the fun being suuuucked away?), and using really boring political machinations at the forefont of the story instead of alluding to them offscreen and letting the audience figure it out. Forced Deus Ex Machina Nonsense: Anakins mother gets taken away by the raiders and kept alive for slow torture why exactly? Oh, she's been kept alive to be a more perfect catalyst for Anakins fall. Uncle Ben and Aunt Beru were portrayed as corpses when we last see them, but the silent look on Luke's face was much more powerful. Odd Acting: Strange Reactions in the actors, or no reaction when there should be one. Example: With Leia and Han in the Millenium Falcon when she tells Han that "he has his moments" in EST, both the line and the reaction from Han were spot on perfect and made them lovable as characters. Earlier in the same movie with Han, Lukes and Leias "Nerf Herder" conversation, the dailogue was grade A Hokey, but the actors were given time to make it work, and it came off as charming. In AOTC when Obi Wan laughs as Anakin retells the gundark salvation story, Obi Wans horribly forced "I'm trying to sound like Alec Guiness" laugh was so bad it leapt out of the screen and bit my ass. Later in the movie as Yoda castigates Obi in the Library for "the arrogance of Jedi's lately", there was no reaction shot of Obi's embarassed face, and there should have been. Just a mindless stare! The painful Padme in a leather seduction corset fire scene was hokey as well, but I bet it would have worked if the direction wasn't so rushed. They were probably both late for some green screen/wire work. I don't even have to get in to that utterly forced rolling on the grass scene with the space cows... even with all of this, I look forward to ROTS with glee...I hope I'm pleasantly suprised! Fried Ewok Leg anyone?

  • May 2, 2005, 2:45 a.m. CST


    by DarthRicker

    Couple of points for ya: 1. Everything is new and shiny in the prequels because Lucas is projecting a sense of majesty into this time period, showing how prosperous the Republic was and how decrepit the galaxy becomes after the rise of the Empire, which in turn shows how callous and apthetic Palpatine is towards the wellbeing of the masses 2. Windu says the infamous line in TPM. 3. Plot of AOTC - Anakin reunites with Padme on Coruscant, this time as her protector, as it appears she's been targeted for assassination. Turns out the guy who is hired to kill her is a bounty hunter who was hired by another bounty hunter who was hired by a fallen Jedi who was instructed by his Sith Master to do so. That same Sith Master is also the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, and he's got an army of clones waiting for him on water world, courtesy of the hired bounty hunter's genes. And then... aw, fuck it. Read the back of the DVD. 4. To assume the prequels would instill that same sense of awe and amazement that brewed inside all of us as children is completely ludicrous. 5. And to assume the PT would be everything that the OT is in terms of acting, directing, and story is equally ludicrous, if not outright insane. Nothing will ever be as great as those three films, no matter what. Period. End of story.

  • May 2, 2005, 12:58 p.m. CST


    by InZodWeTrust

    Why didn't Obi-Wan recognize 3P0 and R2 in ANH?

  • May 2, 2005, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Simple Answer

    by flossygomez

    Because Lucas at the time, never thought he'd be doing anything but ANH. duh.

  • May 2, 2005, 8:55 p.m. CST

    Here we go, again

    by DarthRicker

    Ya beat that argument to death in the other forum, ForeverTJ. And you have yet to acknowledge the fact that Anakin had just slaughtered countless Jedi, INCLUDING YOUNGLINGS, and he choked out his wife. Burn, baby, burn. I said it before, and I'll say it again: If Anakin lost his grip and fell in, that would be some lameass shit. Besides, we all know Obi-Wan has a bit of the Dark Side in him. And don't give me that "Vader isn't evil because he threw the Emperor down the shaft" bit, either. He killed people who simply got in his way. He didn't give a shit if Solo was gonna survive the carbonite freezing process or not; he was testing it for Luke. He may have been redeemed in ROTJ, but not without the help of his son.

  • May 3, 2005, 1:06 a.m. CST

    answers to some of keithrichards01 questions..

    by PurdueSith

    Q)The first question is moderately easy. The bad guys are the (gasp) Trade Federation. They've blockaded Naboo for some reason A)Palpatine uses the blockaded to gain support in the senate, and then "influences" Amadala to pass a vote of "no confidence" so using his new "support" he then gets elected. Q)Even stupider is the fact that when our heroes try to escape the planet, they blast off right into the blockade instead of, say, heading toward the polar regions in order to elude the known enemy A) In the Star Wars universe, a ship needs what is called "jump-points" It could just be that the Federation Ships where positioned at the points where a ship will need to be in order to jump into hyper-space.

  • May 3, 2005, 1:17 a.m. CST

    Ahh, poor misguided FroeverTJ

    by DarthRicker

    You indeed said that Vader was not evil because he threw the Emperor away, so stop backtracking. You saying it is gone because you were banned, and all of your posts were erased (LMFAO). It sounds to me like you would hold Obi-Wan in higher regard if he had simply just killed Vader, as opposed to just leaving him there. And, yet again, you forget two key points: 1. Anakin himself was a murderer (of children, nonetheless). 2. He didn't kill him in the US, so back off the "death row inmates have rights, too" bullshit. There's no due process or any of that shit in SW, and it IS a fictional piece of work. You have no facts, only speculation because the movie isn't out yet. If you had a calendar in your mom's basement, you might realize that. And what the hell is "rule of law"? Vigilantes make the greatest characters (Punisher, Batman, Daredevil, etc.). Is Han a coward for shooting Greedo? Come on, man. That's the most idiotic labelling I've ever come across. On a different note, death row inmates shouldn't get healthcare, anyway. THEY"RE THERE TO DIE. This argument is over, and you lose, jackass.

  • May 3, 2005, 4:31 a.m. CST

    slip the ring and disappear like <?>

    by Dilinja

    this motherfucker still flaming? good times. i have come to realize there is a very large segment of the population that wont give a fuck about any hiphop, no matter how skilled it might be, unless someone else tells them its okay to like it. so fuck em. but getting into flame wars and talking incessant and continuous shit on a fuckin geek website? try again, post somethin on Chambermuzik or okayplayer. but i think im too late for anything exciting, so i will say . . . RotS will be gash (nice word). Seriously. you'll see it the first time and think it's the greatest fuckin thing since wankin off, then you'll see it again, and not be so sure, then you'll finally realize you've been had. and the lord of the rings movies aint the christ almight end all either. ambition counts for something, but execution counts more. andto the asshole who said death row inmates have no rights . . . since when the fuck is the government 100% right about any goddamn thing? never? so kill the poor bastards who cant afford any sort of legit legal defense and let god sort em out. jackass.

  • May 3, 2005, 12:47 p.m. CST

    I think I speak for the whole of talkback when I say...

    by DrLektor

    Get a friggin' room guys. Obi-Wan being disgusted by Anakin's behaviour in episode III is understandable but... he's a jedi, he should have helped the kid, no-one can be that heartless. If you want to hypothesise, put someone like Hitler in Anakin's place, would YOU put the beat down on him and then leave him to die, knowing full well you're a "good guy", you'd be a liar or... an even worse person than Adolph. Lucas has screwed up for letting Obi-Wan sink so low.

  • May 3, 2005, 3:51 p.m. CST


    by DarthRicker

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but Obi-Wan is given a direct order from Yoda to kill the Sith. Obi-Wan is a soldier, and it's a time of war. Obi-Wan does the right thing by leabing Anakin to die. Where was it ever written that Jedis need to help out genocidal maniacs? To say that you'd be worse than Hitler is such a crock of shit. Hmmm... let's see... one death vs. 10 million deaths. Don't be a moron. And as for the asshole (Dilinja) who said prisoners should have health insurance... they're prisoners for a reason. Health insurance isn't a right in the US, it's a privilege. If the guy was paying for his insurance, fine. Give it to him. Automatic insurance for a DEATH ROW inmate is retarded. Asinine, even.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:28 a.m. CST


    by DrLektor

    It's all about heart, I'm asking what you'd do in Obi-Wan's situation. Being ordered to kill someone in a time of war is one thing, leaving them to linger in a mutilated, agonized form is another. And as for Hitler, that's why I said hypothesise, Anakin obviously isn't of Austrian descent. Sure he killed a "few" people in a fictional universe, but all I'm saying is that even if Obi-Wan was specifically told by Yoda to "let that fucker burn slowly and laugh over his wasted body" he'd say no, because inspite of it all, all the war, killing and downright nastiness that the sith have done, he's still a jedi.

  • May 4, 2005, 1:54 a.m. CST

    He's still a Jedi, yes

    by DarthRicker

    but the man that lies before him, his former pupil, has knelt before a Sith lord, killed Jedis, butchered little kids, choked his wife, AND he's got cooler action figures. I'd be pissed, too.

  • May 4, 2005, noon CST


    by DrLektor

    Okay, you got me there.

  • May 4, 2005, 10:21 p.m. CST


    by Duke of New York

    If a certified fanboy likes it, a casual fan like myself should like it too...

  • May 16, 2007, 6:34 a.m. CST

    Indeed, I am last!

    by Quintus_Arrius