Father Geek here, well, I have to disagree with our editor downunder about Amityville. While its for sure that its NOT a "great" motion picture, I had alot of fun with it and feel that in many ways its better than the original, except for the priest (Rod Steiger kicked ass in the 1st one). Annnnnnd the Babysitter in this one is sooooooo, well, you will probably never trust your kids to one after seeing her. So anyway, one person's trash cinema, is another's cult treasure. That's Father Geek's take on it. And this whole Aussie SIN CITY mess... I really do feel for you, buuuuut whatever you do... You must see it on the BIG screen with BIG sound... that's what it was made for! Damn stinking pile of crap that you have to wait that long, somebody in marketing really screwed the pooch on this one, and needs to be replaced before they can do it again. Here's Latauro...
What was the best day of your life? You can't remember? Mine's today.
AICN-DOWNUNDER...
A bloke got arrested in the US for downloading a total of just three movies.
Three (3). It's a crime, and it's not one I advocate, but shouldn't the focus be
on those who are uploading them in the first place? Anyway, I think the fear
of the Law Man knocking the door prompted most people to request anonymity
when they emailed me with their admissions that yes, they had downloaded SIN
CITY based on the moved release date.
If you missed last week's rant, Australia is getting the thing in AUGUST
instead of May. This has led to a lot of pissed of people jumping onto
eDonkey and pulling the film onto their hard discs like it's a pre-release
print of HULK. Clearly, most of these people would prefer to see it on the big
screen, but not as much as they hate waiting until the end of the year.
In response to the talkbacker last week who said it was such an improbably
feat to release films on the same day, SAHARA was released internationally
last week. AMITYVILLE had a simultaneous release this week. Both of these
films clearly released by distributors that would rather minimise the piracy
of their films.
So that's the follow-up to last week's editorial. The release date *was* in
May, then got pushed to the end of the year, that much is confirmed. Wonder
if we'll be able to order the DVD legitimately before it comes out...
NEWS
* If you Melbournites like treading the Southbank bridge over the Yarra
(y'know, the one with that weird, triangular design), you'll have to find an
alternate route between April 17 and April 21. Nic Cage will be chased by
US-style coppers with guns, boats, and a helicopter. If you want to check
out the action, the shoot will be going ahead between 4pm and 6am, mostly on
the first three days. Big up to "Jack Vincennes" for taking a leak.
* On the subject of GHOST RIDER, if, unlike me, you're a frequent peruser of
the Filmnet chat forum, you won't have needed friends to point out a recent
scuffle that occurred during filming. Apparently, they were filming a scene
where someone sees Nic Cage, chases after him and gets tackled by a security
guard. Only thing is, nothing like that was in the script. A star struck
extra wanted to get close to Cage, and another extra (playing a security
guard, and clearly very much in character) took it upon himself to tackle
the guy to the ground, much like that bloke in the US who wanted to talk to
Bush about the weather. Mark Steven Johnston, clearly blown away by the
improvisation, asked them to repeat it for a few more takes. The production
company claims it was all scripted. Either way, it's an hilarious story.
* If, like me, you loved the pacing of SAW but hated the dialogue, you'll be
pleased to hear that Melbourne lads Leigh Whannell and James Wan will be
working on SILENCE. Universal greenlit the film, which will no doubt be a
rom-com with Hugh Grant and Meg Ryan.
* For those following Project Greenlight: Australia Style, the scripts have
been whittled down to ten, from more than 1200 entries. To quote the Project
Greenlight Australia homepage, "Server Error in '/' Application.
ProductionStage has not been set in the config file. This is a fatal
configuration error. Parameter name: ProductionStage." I think that says it
all.
AWARDS AND FESTIVALS
COMEDY SCREENPLAY CONTEST
The brilliantly-named contest announced the winners of itself earlier this
month. Sydney writers Bruce Griffiths and Simon Dodd won for their script
BIG TURKEY, which follows a military experiment to clone a tyrannosaurus rex
using a turkey surrogate. The 40ft turkey breaks loose and causes havoc on
Thanksgiving. No, really.
NEW YORK INTERNATIONAL INDEPENDENT FILM AND VIDEO FESTIVAL
Two Sydney men won the LA based award above, and two Sydney girls won the
New York festival's top honour for their short film STEP IN TIME. Tracey
Wilson and Carolyn Yates co-produced, co-directed and co-starred in the
musical comedy.
BOX OFFICE
You generally get the idea if I just write MISS CONGENIALITY 2, but I feel
adding the subtitle makes an important point.
1. THE PACIFIER
2. SAHARA
3. ROBOTS
4. GUESS WHO?
5. MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS
RELEASED THIS WEEK
Platinum Dunes releases their latest biopic, Brian Jones Massacres Dandy
Warhol, the Return of Bruno is nothing to get excited about, prolific local
filmmaker Paul proves correct that adage that most Australian films really
are made by Cox, and Nicole swaps Sydney for Sydney.
THE AMITYVILLE HORROR
DIG!
HOSTAGE
HUMAN TOUCH
THE INTERPRETER
REVIEWS
THE AMITYVILLE HORROR
There's a great title that precedes the film that says "Based on the true
story". Not based on *a* true story, based on *the* true story. There is
only one truth, and this is it, folks.
This is the latest film from Platinum Dunes, the geniuses behind THE TEXAS
CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake, a film so bad I wanted to insert glass coffee
tables into everyone involved in its making. I didn't make the Platinum
Dunes connection until after AMITYVILLE, but it makes sense now. AMITYVILLE
isn't as bad as MASSACRE, but it ain't good.
The press notes actually talk about how they attributed a big part of the
MASSACRE's success to the "True Story" angle, which is why they played it up
here. MASSACRE was based on a true story in the sense that there once lived
a guy who killed some people. AMITYVILLE is based on *a* true story that has
since turned out to be complete baloney (much to the surprise of all of us).
The biggest unintentional joke of the film is the "true story" title, which
seems so gratuitous given the film has absolutely no sense of realism. It
checks off every single horror cliché in the book.
The casting is interesting. Melissa George is good, but completely
unbelievable as the mother of three kids. Unless she adopted them starting
from age twelve, I just don't buy it. Philip Baker Hall is thoroughly wasted
as the implausible priest. The kids aren't particularly good, with the
younger son doing the worst "Gee whiz!" moment since the
boy-befriends-animal movies of the 50s and 60s. This is the first thing I've
seen Ryan Reynolds in. I get why he's popular; despite the fact that there's
very little build-up to George's craziness, Reynolds is very charismatic and
would probably be really good in a quality film.
Reynolds is about the only thing to recommend. The scares aren't scary, nor
are they original. You can almost tick off the "inspirations": TEXAS
CHAINSAW, RING, THE SHINING... It's all about going through the motions. The
direction does nothing to help, with a desperate attempt to insert "jump"
moments at every turn, regardless of relevance or continuity.
The best thing I can do is tell you how often I looked at my watch: a
minimum of five minute intervals between glances. If I wasn't intent on
giving a fair and complete review of the film, I would have left early. Oh,
and if you're epileptic, arrive late. It's possibly the most irritating
opening sequence ever.
NEXT WEEK
- Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher to adapt the non-political elements of
Richard Attenborough's GHANDI for upcoming hit sequel GUESS TOO
- German actress Heidi Ecks has put aside her heated feud with "Jack and
Jill" production assistant Raymond Sever to bring a joint lawsuit against
Warner Bros. and writer Alan B. McElroy (no word on whether they will be
joined by the man they were fighting over, FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING lighting
assistant Olliver Ballister)
- Samuel L. Jackson signs onto SNAKES ON A PLANE sequels SLOTHS ON THE BUS
and LEMMINGS ON THE MONORAIL
Peace out,
Latauro
AICNDownunder@hotmail.com
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