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Quint spends the night withstanding THE AMITYVILLE HORROR!!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with my opinion on THE AMITYVILLE HORROR, which opens tomorrow... or today, by the time I finish, code and post this fucker.
I'm gonna try to keep this short, mates, because I, for some ungodly and totally uncharacteristic reason, woke up reealll early this morning and I'm ready to drop. Not 3:15am early, but early.
My AMITYVILLE background: I've seen the first two AMITYVILLE movies. I didn't much like the second film and the first film I respect... has some great, iconic elements, but overall I felt it was a kind of dull flick with no real payoff for the slow build. In other words, I wasn't totally against this remake like I was THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. I like Ryan Reynolds and think he's got a very bright future ahead of him and I dug the previews.
Now we're at the screening Harry hosted... I walked through the room of flies, another thing I had fun with since flies never really bothered me, but judging by the loud (male, mind you) screams from the room... I think some of the other people who went through Harry's fly chamber of doom weren't too fond of the little winged critters.
Anyway, the movie... I, personally, think the remake is better than the original film. It's not flawless, but I'll get to that in a minute. Right now the good:
-Ryan Reynolds carries this movie, reining in his wild, wacky side just enough to keep his character likable (at the beginning... before he goes batshit insane, of course) and funny, but he also goes darker than he's even gone before. He felt more real here than he's been in anything I've seen. He also captured the time period (1970s) better than I imagined, as the humor he's known for is more '90s/'00s smart-assy comedy.
-The ghosts (with one exception... again, I'll get to that in a minute). The little girl ghost who is all over the trailer is awesome... especially when she grabs that one person's... well, I'll save that for the movie. This one scene by itself made the movie worth paying full price, in my opinion.
-The bathroom scene... Although it's a little SIXTH SENSE-ish, there's a scene in the bathroom with another nice lookin' freaky dead dude that creeped my shit out.
-The cinematography is nice, as I'd expect from the producers of this film. I had many problems with the remake of TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, but I still think it's one of the best shot flicks the year it came out.
-The pacing... this isn't a flashy, quick cut MTVidiot pandering movie. The pacing isn't too quick, but not too slow...
-Ryan Reynold's contact lenses. Subtle most of the time, not so subtle some of the times... Very creepy and disturbing.
-The babysitter... oh, sweet babysitter... from sex, drugs and rockn'roll (literally) to one of the best scary scenes in the movie... There's a 5-ish minute segment of the movie that singlehandedly makes it better than any of the previous AMITYVILLE incantations since the original book. And this isn't just from the horny geek vantage point, either. We get the best scene with the oldest son (played by Jesse James) outta this segment and the best segment for the girl ghost. Plus the babysitter is smokin' '70s hot.
Now the not so good:
-One ghost that is ripped straight off of POLTERGEIST 2 and 3... Yeah, the preacher with the old timin' preacher hat. This is very minor... he's in maybe 2 or 3 shots of the movie, but it really pulled me out even though the scenes he's in are pretty good.
-It might just be a me thing, but I liked the build up to Reynolds going over the edge more than when he went over the edge. It just felt typical stalker/slasher mode when he chases the family through the house at the end. It's performed well, shot well and paced well... I just enjoyed the ghosties more, I guess.
That's about it. The film really impressed me and is exactly the kind of remake I want to see. It brought more scares and better acting than the flawed original, but wasn't just a photocopy of the first film.
Reynolds popped up after the screening and took some questions from the audience. Reynolds reminded me quite a bit of Bruce Campbell when he was up in front of the theater. He was funny, charming, but also not afraid to call people out for asking stupid questions. He was also not afraid to make fun of himself of his fellow actors. For example, he was talking about how great the young actor Jesse James was and when he mentioned the kid's name someone in the audience chuckled. He was like, "I'm not kidding. That's his name. He'll see the movie, but I don't think the other young actor, Billy the Kid, is old enough..." So, I butchered it, the haze of my sleep deprived mind has fucked you out of experiencing Reynold's biting wit, but you get the idea.
Of course, The Flash was brought up and he was quick to say that nothing is official, but there are some talks going on. He said he wasn't going to believe it until he was standing at crafty wearing a red unitard.
So, go... enjoy a good horror flick. It's no Asian ghost rip-off and I like it! Enjoy, squirts!
-Quint
email: quint@aintitcool.com
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is a better five-letter F-word than that other one
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Apr 15, 2005 1:22:39 AM CDT
Saw this a few weeks ago...the sequence on the roof of the house
by darth borgnine
Overall, the remake is okay. The babysitter is definitely smoking hot.
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Haunted houses, bah! Less than a mile from me a sewer line broke and a gigantic sinkhole started swallowing everything. For a whole damn year the area has stunk like a nasty fart while you get to hear construction teams hammering huge pilons into the ground all damn day. And the city and the county are in court fighting over who should pay for it.
You pay 350k for a house and your front yard becomes a toilet for a year. That's horror, brother. Give me demons or shit any day. -
Everyone keep saying about the hot babysitter, who is she????
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Apr 15, 2005 7:19:42 AM CDT
Reacting to "Jesse James" with "Billy the Kid"... oh dear.
by salvatoregravano
Such "biting wit", indeed. What did he do next, tell strawberry "jokes"?
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Sounds like it would have been funny to me. loosen up a bit.
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The commercial uses the theme! Bold.
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Don't worry about it N Jones, doubt anyone will lose any sleep over it, if anything your comment sent me to sleep...........Still nobody knows who the hot baby sitter is, I want to oggle over her before I finish today.....
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Rachel Nichols. Sex In the City, Dumb and Dumberer, she'll play Samantha in The Woods. IMDB has a couple of pix.
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but in mine this movie sucks balls. Everybody who saw the movie with me (about 30 in all) also thought it sucked. Go see it if you want, but you have been forewarned. I used to be able to trust you, Quint. Ass.
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and that was a single frightening moment. I saw it this afternoon. I had not seen a single trailer or ad on tv. I just went because I love horror movies. The acting was good. Ryan Reynolds did a very good job. The kids were all good. This movie was simply NOT SCARY in my opinion. I don't come here regularly to bash films (this may be the first non-comic-book talkback where I've had anything negative to say about a film), but I did not enjoy this movie at all. You can take this one person's opinion or leave it. However, if you want to see a good haunted house flick, see if you can find a copy of THE CHANGELING at your local video store instead. If you like horror movies, you have more than likely already seen everything this film has to offer, and seen it done better.
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Sorry. The movie sucks. Saw it today because you aicn asshoels raved about how much better it is than the original, and mad eyet another mistake in taking your advice. First off, a movie that cuts to so many closeups feels more like looking at an album rather than feeling like you're actually in the house. Also, I dont need ominous high pitched music to tell me what's scary. If I find somethign disturbing, I will. Just as in sitcoms, I don't need a laugh track to tell me where all the jokes are. If it's funny, I'll laugh. The original was great because it paced itself apporpriately, and had some great disturbing, uncomfortable moments. The flies slowly gathering on the priest (NOT BOOMING OUT IN A WAVE ONTO HIS FACE) and the creepy "GEEET OUUT" voice. (Not a shitty "get out" whisper) The fact that since I didnt see Jody, I was afraid at all times because I didnt know if she was watching or not, and I created a very frightening image of her in my mind. So when I see those red eyes outside of the window in the original, I fucking flip. Unlike in this when they rub Jody in your face just to keep reminding you it's a horror movie. Thanks, now I know what she looks like. Now I'm not scared. Awesome. The original babysitter scene FUCKING SCARY. I dont want to be locked in a closet like that. Nobody does. Claustrophobia. Yet, in the remake, thanks guys for making the scene real campy with an unrealistic slut who can't act. I dont really care that she's locked in the closet because she's FUCKING FAKE SO WHO GIVES A SHIT????? Where's the window slamming on the kids fingers in the remake? Oh, it's actually creepy, lets keep that out. Instead lets jump cut and make a fucking strobelight out of this movie. Here's the very little credit I give it. VERY LITTLE. A) They got a little more into the characters of the children. B) The dog death scene was disturbing. Otherwise, the movie pretty much ripped off the shining. I couldnt have been more pissed about the constant reference of the similarity in the events of the first murders to what was going on with the Lutz's. Im not dumb. One is all I need, and I get that he is going crazy and evil just like the last guy. I dont need a new example every minute. Fuck anybody for saying this is better than the original. It's cliche fodder. It's a manufactured piece of crap that lacks the proper atmosphere and tone the original portrayed so damn well. Seriously, if you like this better than the original, realize that your opinion doesnt EVER matter, and you will like anything catered to ignorance and stupidity. Which I think, yes, makes you a fucking idiot.
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Apr 17, 2005 3:10:57 AM CDT
When the fuck are they gonna remake "The Incredible Mr. Limpet?"
by liquid_daze
C'mon animation mixed with live action. It'll be COOL. Jimmy Fallon as "Flatbush." One of those aggro-rock jamborees for the trailer. "click click BOOM!" 15,000 jump cuts of someone brushing their teeth. And while we're at it The Ghost & Mr. Chicken and The Shakiest Gun In The West. THE DON KNOTTS TRILOGY. Also, did you know... EVERYONE in the 70's dressed like a thrift-store junkie? Did you? Not just undercover cops & car salesman. EVERYONE!
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That's hilarious. And what's sad is that they probably WILL remake Mr. Limpet by the Wayans Brothers and an all hip-hop/christina aguilera soundtrack combined with Saving Private Ryan-esque WWII action (shaky cameras and excessive violence and bloodshed, WHOO)...and as it premiers, we will see 4 creepy guys on horses goin around like nobody's business and chopping heads, and then we will know...the end is here, with this final remake. The barrel has been scraped. If this post doesn't tell you how bored I am right now, I don't know how else to convey it. Cheerio
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