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Paris Hilton in talks to remake SEVEN YEAR ITCH & SOME LIKE IT HOT'''

NO FUCKING WAY YOU ARISTOCRATIC SKANKY HO!

Ahem - Harry here. Just got the following:

PARIS HILTON is in talks to remake some of Marilyn Monroe's old movies!!

From MTV.com (CLICK HERE)

MTV: Would you ever want to remake a Monroe movie like "The Seven Year Itch" or "Some Like it Hot"

Hilton: Yeah, there's some talk

Oh God No......keep her away from those classics....PLEASE!!!!!

 

The only thing I wouldn't mind Paris Hilton remaking of Monroe's is her last act.... and the sooner the better. MY GOD! First off - whoever at MTV asked that fucking question needs Kathy Bates and a friggin sledgehammer to work em over. Second - that answer... It's like somebody just pried nine of my 10 toenails off and made me do the tippy-toe walk through a hill of salt. OUCH! I can't imagine the sheer hatred I'd project towards a remake of either of those films starring an anorexic internet porn star. She isn't an actress, she's a tabloid accident on long legs - My bet is she has never seen or heard of either films, and to just seem vaguely aware just mumbled out the "Yeah, there's some talk," to cover, but in the off chance that she did know those films and that some sad Fox Exec has gone stark raving insane. NO FUCKING WAY!

Readers Talkback
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  • April 12, 2005, 6:43 a.m. CST

    My god,

    by Andy Dufresne

    This must not be allowed to happen. I refuse to believe it could.

  • April 12, 2005, 6:46 a.m. CST

    paris hilton

    by llephen

    is a vapid waste of humanity. Not to mention, water is wet

  • April 12, 2005, 6:47 a.m. CST

    A late April's Fool joke

    by moviemaniac-7

    I hope. I pray. Nah, this can't be true. This is like McG remaking Schindler's List.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:02 a.m. CST

    Thing is

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    these remakes are so atrocious that they wouldn't even be threatening. If she was remaking some beautiful, obscure 20s movie or something, playing the role of an already underappreciated starlet, that would be worse. She's in no danger of eclipsing Marilyn (nobody is!) and these remakes will be a great camp pleasure in a couple of decades.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:14 a.m. CST

    This made me laugh.

    by godoffireinhell

    Hard.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:20 a.m. CST

    YOU GOT PWNED ... HARRY!

    by phanboi

    That joke made me giggle for an hour or so. Er... that IS a joke, isn't it?

  • April 12, 2005, 7:23 a.m. CST

    A portal into Paris Hiltons brain...

    by Koola_Norway

    ...to explain this to her in proper norwegian: Du e fette mongo!

  • April 12, 2005, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Paris Hilton is hot

    by Judge Doom

    Thus I would watch this.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:34 a.m. CST

    i can't imagine that someone as demure and proper as paris hilto

    by The_Dude_77

  • April 12, 2005, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Harry...

    by RichJohnston

    ...are you saying you'd wouldn't mind seeing Paris Hilton die, and the sooner the better? Be an onlooker while she takes a drugs overdose? I mean, there's hyperbole, and stating that you'd like to see a vacuous airhead who hasn't actually done you any harm, kill herself.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:47 a.m. CST

    Paris Hilton? That cocksucker's not even good enough to sniff Ma

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    Either this is total bullcrap, and I hope it is, or this is indeed one of the official signs of the apocalypse.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:51 a.m. CST

    If they have to remake these movies

    by Mr.F.N.Sunshine

    not that every single classic needs to be remade but don't bother trying to tell that to Hollywood, then I nominate Elisha Cuthbert because she bears an uncanny resemblance to Marilyn sometimes and she is a pretty good actress. Paris Hilton is a joke.

  • ..and I totally agree about the seven year itch meaning something different for Paris. Maybe she could do ATTACK OF THE GIANT CRABS!!!!!

  • April 12, 2005, 7:53 a.m. CST

    "That cocksucker's not even good enough to sniff Marilyn Monroe'

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    And if you've seen her fucking porn video you'd know she isn't even that good a cocksucker...she's just some rich cunt who wants fame to go with the money. I could shit a better actress than her...and a better shag no doubt too. As for watching her die, i'd rather endure that than a fucking movie with her as the star.

  • April 12, 2005, 8:04 a.m. CST

    I haven't seen her video in full, but what I did see what fairly

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    It's funny because some girlfriends of mine who are about a decade younger than me saw "One Night In Paris" and they swear she's a deadfuck. These girls aren't the wildest of chicks either so I found the comment very amusing.

  • April 12, 2005, 8:06 a.m. CST

    The Seven Year Itch isn't even that good. Monroe was the only re

    by Big Bad Clone

    But if it was remade, do it with Steve Martin and Elisa Cuthbert and make it a R rated comedy.

  • April 12, 2005, 8:12 a.m. CST

    If this is true (and that's a really big if), then some reasonab

    by Barry Egan

    Oh, and Paris looks like a rat.

  • April 12, 2005, 8:23 a.m. CST

    I hope Paris Hilton dies in a plane crash

    by tile_mcgillus

    Paris Hilton is the dirty twunt. The next movie she should make is Faces of Death where a rabid swarm of gigantic bees turn her rich giggling body into a fucking pin cushion.

  • April 12, 2005, 8:46 a.m. CST

    oh my god! is it april 1st again?

    by mansep

    that skinny horse doesn't deserve to be in the same sentence as Monroe, let alone have the chance to step into her shoes. just when i thought hollywood couldn't get more clueless.

  • April 12, 2005, 8:52 a.m. CST

    For once I agree with Harry on this one.

    by SouthSide_2010

    If the powers that be decide to keep keeping on with this remake horseshit and they decide to throw in some whore like Paris Hilton to do these films, then by God I have no other alternative but cease belief that the world of Motion Pictures will ever be cool again. God no pleas don't let this shit happen. Let Paris Hilton keep making porno she seems to love doing it and I do too. So in conclusion, if there is any justice out there in the world of entertainment don't let this shit happen.

  • April 12, 2005, 8:53 a.m. CST

    ways for Paris to bite it.

    by Shigeru

    Stung to death by jellyfish. Dropped into spinning helicopter blades. Mauled by polar bear. AND THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER IS!........ Dies from the lethal combination of the 34 differnt Venerial Diseases she has picked up lord knows where!

  • April 12, 2005, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Asking her questions about her sex life

    by DannyOcean01

    Maybe the interviewer was wondering how she's feeling vis a vis her rampant sexual ferocity i.e. how much man steak she allows into her flabby flange. Yes, I have a 7 year itch. They call it atomic crabs. And yes, I like it hot and red raw in my crotch. See, panic's over.

  • April 12, 2005, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Last Tango in Paris . . . .sorry.

    by KINOBICK

    enough said.

  • April 12, 2005, 9:15 a.m. CST

    You're making the Baby Jesus cry

    by Mister Man

    STOP IT.

  • April 12, 2005, 9:17 a.m. CST

    An American Werewolf in Paris . . .

    by KINOBICK

    bestiality crossover flick / romance / horror. People would flock to see it.

  • April 12, 2005, 9:23 a.m. CST

    The bigger question is why is anyone interviewing Paris Hilton?

    by Big Bad Clone

    Was this for that hardhiting MTV news? Does this mean we heard it [bass guitar riff] first?

  • April 12, 2005, 9:25 a.m. CST

    PARIS HAS FINALLY COME TO SAVE US ALL FROM OUR WORTHLESS EXISTAN

    by ChickenGeorgeVII

    OH YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES FUUUUUCCCCKKKK YYYYEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE BESTEST NEWS SINCE THEY CAST MADONNA IN ANYTHING!!!!! GOD DAMN THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUCKING GREAT!!!! CUZ PARIS HILTON IS THE BESTEST WOMAN TO WALK THE PLANET!!!!! THINK OF ALL THOSE GREAT THINGS SHE HAS GIVEN TO SOCIETY!!! LIKE THE TIME SHE WORKED AT SONIC FOR THE FOX NETWORK!!! OR THE TIME THAT SHE SNORTED A SHITLOAD OF COKE OFF OF THE HAIRY SWEATY BALLS OF SOME RICH DUD

  • April 12, 2005, 9:34 a.m. CST

    HAS IT HAPPENED YET?!?!?!?!?!?

    by ChickenGeorgeVII

    HAS PARIS POSED TODAY?!?!?!?!? HAS SHE?!?!!? I NEED TO KNOW!!!!! IF I DO NOT HAVE A PARIS POSE...I GET SOOOOO LOST!!!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU PARIS???? WHY ARE YOU FORSAKING US?????? WE PROMISE TO BOW DOWN TO TINKERBELL!!!!! WE PROMISE!!!! ANYTHING FOR A POSE!!!!!!...And thus, how's McG? - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!

  • April 12, 2005, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Um...who is Paris Hilton?

    by Cory849

    Never heard of her.

  • April 12, 2005, 9:46 a.m. CST

    oooh my goood, this is a JOKE RRRIGHT???

    by CurryIce

  • April 12, 2005, 9:49 a.m. CST

    The Sequel to Inner space anyone?

    by KINOBICK

    RUGRATS IN PARIS. Animation meets porn.

  • April 12, 2005, 10:05 a.m. CST

    this is news?

    by ZO

    that a 2 bit actress wants to remake monroes movies? every actress wants that!! doesn't mean its gonna happen

  • April 12, 2005, 10:12 a.m. CST

    I just threw up in my mouth...

    by Childe Roland

    ...a little at the very idea of Paris Hilton trying to fill any part of Marilyn Monroe's wardrobe, much less her iconic position as the template for all things genuinely sexy and feminine in the post 1950's world. Marilyn Monroe was curvy and gorgeous and much, much smarter than she ever let on (except in some of her more inspired film roles). Paris Hilton is a pointy, hatchet-faced slut who thinks having people point and laugh or gawk means she's being accepted and admired. I wouldn't fuck her using an armored car as a body condom for fear of her vaginal acids eating through the plating and letting the giant crabs in. Marilyn Monroe could kick Paris Hilton's ass every day of the week and twice on Sunday and still be prettier at the end of it all... and she's been dead and decomposing for years. Somebody put this vapid bitch in a box and mail her to Bizarro World where she can mutter "Me so sexy?" all day and get all the angular attention she deserves.

  • April 12, 2005, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Paris Hilton's Fanny...

    by workshed

    ...fishy fanny.

  • April 12, 2005, 10:33 a.m. CST

    She looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.

    by vekt0r

    that is all.

  • April 12, 2005, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Yep, thought so....we've all slipped into the Twilight Zone!!

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    Note to Hollywood: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TOUCH 'SOME LIKE IT HOT'!!!!!!!!!!!! By all means screw around with 'Itch' if ya like, but no way should you get ya greedy committee mitts on 'Hot'

  • April 12, 2005, 11:05 a.m. CST

    "Paris Hilton is a pointy, hatchet-faced slut who thinks having

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    That about sums it up. My sentiments exactly. Marilyn Monroe was one of the five sexiest women to ever walk the earth and at 36 weeks before her death she was surpassed by none in beauty. Paris Hilton is some kind of mutant alien preying mantis creature. I once saw her on Letterman and he was sending her up mercilessly and the stupid fuckrag had NO IDEA she was the object of Dave's acerbic wit. It seems fairly obvious to me that Paris Hilton serves no purpose other than as raw materials for Soylent Green.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:06 a.m. CST

    Paris didn't even know what the original House of Wax was...

    by BigTuna

    I saw her in an interview recently and she was asked about her upcoming film, "House of Wax" she blurted out it was "a remake of a 50's film" you could tell she had never seen it or knew anything about it even after she filmed the remake.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:09 a.m. CST

    there should be a comma after 36

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    so it reads "Marilyn Monroe was one of the five sexiest women to ever walk the earth and at 36, weeks before her death, she was surpassed by none in beauty." Also that should be Praying Mantis, although it works with 'prey' as an inadvertant ironic play on words.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Paris couldn't fit her entire body into one of Marilyn's cups

    by Jeditemple

    That fugly chick gives everyone the "Seven Year Itch." She'll never touch Marilyn Monroe as far as beauty and talent. I'm shocked, but I agree with Harry for once.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Wow ... Such animosity, Such hatred, Such venom ...

    by JohnnyFriendly

    Keep it coming ! The best description I've heard for this bitch ( and her troll-like partner ) was from David Cross ( and I quote ) "Rich giggling cunts" I use it verbatim whenever the odious topic of ... her ... comes up

  • April 12, 2005, 11:22 a.m. CST

    "Who the fuck cares what comes out of her mouth"

    by Atticus Finch

    Or in it.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:22 a.m. CST

    The Nightvision lens

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    While there's some normally lit scenes the fact that most of it is filmed with night shot on is testimony to the fact that the video was a deliberate exercise in PR. Let's face it; if you're going to film yourselves fucking for posterity you don't film it in the fucking dark. Oh and you get the camera in for some close up shots, you don't leave it on a dresser fucking miles from the action. Not that i particularly want to see Paris's genitalia because i have no doubt that it resembles the top of a wellington boot..oh and i bet stinks.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Wizards Sleeve

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    That was the description i was meaning to use to describe Paris's genetalia. Thank God for the one and only 'profanisaurus'.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:46 a.m. CST

    It is official: Hollywood is creatively bankrupt

    by jim

  • April 12, 2005, 12:11 p.m. CST

    To even put Paris Hilton in the same league with Marilyn Monroe'

    by Orionsangels

    I mean who hell does this rich skanky HO, think she is? What has she ever done anyway? The media created her out of thin air. One day they just annouced. SHE'S FAMOUS! worship her, well fuck her and the man whore she road in on. WORK to get there, Living off daddy's money will get you no respect. Her career deserves to flop!

  • April 12, 2005, 12:18 p.m. CST

    To quote Dr. Ian Malcolm - I'll tell you the problem with the Pa

    by Orionsangels

    She didn't require any discipline to attain her fame. She saw what others had done and she took the next step. She didn't earn the knowledge for herself, She doesn't take any responsibility for her fame. She stood on the shoulders of real celebrities to accomplish something as fast as she could and before she even knew what she had, the media patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now they're selling it and she wants to sell it!

  • April 12, 2005, 12:35 p.m. CST

    I've got it... sign her up to remake The Seven Year Itch, but wh

    by Joe Cool #2

    Gaaaa. At least Grando Carlissian's outlandish rumours were funny. This one's just plain frightening.

  • April 12, 2005, 12:36 p.m. CST

    I'm sure this is bullshit. Oh, hullo cutestofborg...

    by morGoth

    ...so THIS is where I find you hiding out these days {[:^) You and beansie give up on CA or something?

  • April 12, 2005, 12:42 p.m. CST

    this needs to happen

    by MiserableRainGod

    Wow, what a great idea. This will absolutely bomb, maybe hard enough to blow that ugly, ignorant bitch off the planet. If that is its purpose, I salute Hollywood, and offer my full support. I bet they'll get Ashton Kutcher and Sean William Scott, comedy's wonderful next generation, to take the places of Tony Kurtis and Jack Lemmon. Wow, seeing them in dresses will be extra funny, you know, because they're so sexy or something. And this will film on a college campus or at a mall or football stadium, rather than the perfect Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego. And maybe throw in a chimpanzee or something, somewhere.

  • April 12, 2005, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Actually, miserableraingod, I think they just DID throw in the c

    by Joe Cool #2

    :D

  • April 12, 2005, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Chill out with the wishing her dead posts

    by Hervoyel

    Because you don't want that. You really don't want that. Do you have any idea what happens to people like Paris Hilton when they die young? They become "legends" whether they deserve it or not. Pray nightly for her safety because if she doesn't die tragically then she'll fade to obscurity and become a bad punchline someday which is the best you can hope for now that she's a "public figure".

  • April 12, 2005, 1:03 p.m. CST

    I have never seen either movie but...

    by The Paladin

    I have never seen either movie and have not ever seen anything with Marilyn but, there is no way that someone who is best known for 1. being constantly in tabloids, and 2. An X rated internet movie should be even considered to take one of her roles in a remake. If they have to do these movies, get someone with some class, like Nicole Kidman or Catherine Zeta Jones.

  • April 12, 2005, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Riiiiight

    by Lobanhaki

    This woman's not got the voluptuousness, nor the innocence to play a Marilyn role I say she should settle back into her comfy existence, and leave us out of her fantasies

  • April 12, 2005, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Uproar for Paris Hilton in a Marilyn Monroe film, where was this

    by RealDoubleJ

    All I can hope for is the HoW remake is so bad that it not only makes Vincent Price spin in his grave but ressurect him through the pure power of shittiness and a Zombie Price snaps Paris Hilton's body like a twig. What ilks me are tabloids telling us we want to see more of Paris Hilton just because she's the daughter of the respectable Hiltons, who kept their's and their hotel guests' dirty laundry hidden, and the more shit she pulls the more magazines they sell about her.

  • April 12, 2005, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Paris Hilton scat videos

    by Nagual

    Now that, I would pay to see. Her on bottom, of course.

  • April 12, 2005, 1:26 p.m. CST

    If her heart is set on trying to remake Marilyn's performance...

    by Kampbell-Kid

    Paris Hilton was soooooooooooo last year. It's time to get over this tragic mess that looks like a tall shaved wookie that was taught how to speak. I just pray to god a review of HOUSE OF WAX comes out saying her performance "was sooo ghetto".

  • April 12, 2005, 1:27 p.m. CST

    I'm one of the producers developing the Some Like It Hot remake

    by oceansized

    I think you're all gonna change your minds after you see it. I'm on the verge of getting Rob Schieder and Chris Kattan for the Curtis/Lemon parts. I'm also developing a remake of Raging Bull with Johnny Knoxville, and another one of Harold and Maude with Corey Feldman and Joan Rivers.

  • April 12, 2005, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Well damn, I came in too late for the Paris Hilton/Itch joke

    by I Dunno

    This site seems to have a bi-polar opinion about remakes. Everyone was against them until the King Kong thing. Thankfully they're panning this. If any exec is reading this, you have the common sense of a gnat. These projects will fail and fail miserably. Less than 40 million dollar take, guaranteed. Dammit you people deserve your station in life less than Hilton herself.

  • April 12, 2005, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Orionsangels, that was great, and so very fitting.

    by jim

    Of course, what's sad is how much interest there is in this. True, that the buzz is all negative, but it is still buzz. What's the saying in Hollywood? Bad publicity is better than no publicity? So to do my part in helping Paris Hilton fade from view is to make this the last time I ever engage in a conversation about her. Just not worth mentioning ever again.

  • April 12, 2005, 1:46 p.m. CST

    So, is it gonna be filmed with night vision

    by cornstalkwalker

    She should just stick to selling her Stupid Spoiled Whore playset.

  • April 12, 2005, 2 p.m. CST

    I hope she is eating her veggies and taking care of herself....

    by ChickenGeorgeVII

    Okay...in all seriousness...I ACTUALLY HOPE PARIS LIVES A LONG HEALTHY LIFE....Here

  • April 12, 2005, 2:01 p.m. CST

    All the money in the world will not buy you Screen Presence!

    by Silver Shamrock

    and she has no presence. Full stop. and why is everbody's subject lines so damn long?

  • April 12, 2005, 2:15 p.m. CST

    At least we can be assured that if this does happen, Hilton's ca

    by drakeavenue

    Nobody's going to like after she tries to replace Marilyn Monroe. Maybe it would be a good thing actually, because then everyone would just hate her.

  • April 12, 2005, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Re: ChickenGeorgeVII's last post

    by oceansized

    Just two words and a number, George: Surreal Life 17 (give or take a couple years).

  • April 12, 2005, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Haha, nice Aust1n

    by Banky the Hack

    It's about suppression!

  • April 12, 2005, 2:52 p.m. CST

    And Some Like it Hot...

    by Banky the Hack

    Could only refer to the burning sensation when she pees.

  • April 12, 2005, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Irrelevant

    by Roj Blake

    Any such remake would be filmed, released and easily forgotten within months. It certainly wouldn't taint the legacy that is Marilyn.

  • April 12, 2005, 3:51 p.m. CST

    It would be a waste... today's youth doesn't care about those pa

    by Russman

    and Paris can only be one thing, the spoiled rich girl that she is.

  • April 12, 2005, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Big Tuna's On To Something

    by Yo_SheBitch

    I bet she doesn't even know what those movies are and was trying to create false buzz by saying, "There's some talk" just hoping that some shithead producer out there would say, "Wow! What a great idea! I need to get in on that bidding war!" and run with the idea.

  • April 12, 2005, 4:01 p.m. CST

    Marilyn Monroe was the sexiest tomboy beanpole on the planet

    by mbaker

    Paris Hilton is nothing but a dead raped dear

  • April 12, 2005, 4:02 p.m. CST

    I think this silly rumor came from Kelly Clarkson's EW interview

    by Mr. Profit

    Anyway, Marilyn made pretty bad films. She was no Ingrid Bergman, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Rita Hayworth... I could continue on and on.

  • April 12, 2005, 4:38 p.m. CST

    True enough Mr. Profit...

    by morGoth

    ...but she did a hell of a job in 'The Misfits.' I hear that anyone who could put up with Clark Gable's breath deserved a special Oscar. Well, at least we can agree that Paris Hilton is no Marilyn Monroe in any category...especially in the voluptuous department! What was Kelly smoking then? I don't see how Marilyn and Paris's lives are even remotely related.

  • April 12, 2005, 4:40 p.m. CST

    Tippi Hedren's character in The Birds was supposed to be what Pa

    by Big Bad Clone

    A useless socialite that is often tabloid fodder. So remake The Birds but have Paris get pecked to death at the end. "Why do I have to get honey on me and roll in birdseed. Shouldn't I have a stunt double?" "For authenticy [sees Paris' blank stare] Um, 'cause it's hot" "Oh, that's hot" [gets eaten by a murder of crows]

  • April 12, 2005, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Let's all ignore her and she will go away!

    by ComputerGuy68

    OK?

  • April 12, 2005, 5:09 p.m. CST

    I thought Paris hilton was hot...

    by Ray Garraty #47

    ...until I watched one Night in Paris. That guy who posted earlier about his girlfriends calling her a "dead fuck" isn't joking. At least ugly girls are happy to be getting some and move around a little bit and maybe make some noise or something. Although she did have nice bush.

  • April 12, 2005, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Thank God Harry, I was worried your man parts had completely rob

    by Oompa_Radar

  • April 12, 2005, 6:06 p.m. CST

    Paris for...

    by Lando Griffin

    STUPID SPOILED WHORE VIDEO PLAYSET: THE MOVIE

  • April 12, 2005, 6:53 p.m. CST

    What do you expect from that POS channel MTV???

    by Bong

    Pf course the moron from MTV would ask that...the entire workforce there is devoid of any real intellect Yes only a true "genius" can churn out continuous "Real World/Roud Rules" challenges and idiotic reality shows

  • April 12, 2005, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Paris Hilton

    by Jack D. Ripper

    is a cunt who should die of AIDS. Sooner, better.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:09 p.m. CST

    Her next movie after "House of Wax" is called, no foolin, "Botto

    by TheDevilsBidness

    And that's just too easy a joke to try for. Thanks for the update on that, Entertainment Weekly.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:11 p.m. CST

    Nope, he next movie is a National Lampoon movie called Pledge Th

    by BrashHulk

    And wasn't she supposed to be in the sequel to that Dungeons & Dragons movie??? The Elemental Might or something like that???

  • April 12, 2005, 7:40 p.m. CST

    morGoth

    by Mr. Profit

    Hey man, I agree with your post. And I dont care what anyone says. Paris' pussy could taste like Jose Cuervo Gold and I still wouldn't hit that. She's waaaaay too fucking skinny for me to enjoy myself.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:44 p.m. CST

    Oh God, say it aint so.

    by Veraxus

    Why the hell is ANYONE letting Paris Hilton make movies? I guess porn really can kick off an 'acting' career after all. Seriously though, those movies should never EVER be remade. Least of all with Paris Hilton. Drew Barrymore, maybe, could pull it off. She's got the same kind of classic beauty that Marilyn had. Paris is a fucking skank whore and looks (and acts) the part. Why not cast Beyonce since we're looking into shit actresses anyway. God, Harry, please stop reporting so much bad movie news. It constantly breaks my heart.

  • April 12, 2005, 7:53 p.m. CST

    uh, scrivener, Drew is in the same camp as Hilton

    by ComputerGuy68

  • April 12, 2005, 9:10 p.m. CST

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

    by Noriko Takaya

    Yeah. Uh-huh. RIGHT. Y'know, if this cinematic abortion ever sees the light of day, than I vote for a remake of "Gone With The Wind" with Michael Jackson in drag playing Scarlet O'Hara. It has about as much chance of success as this. Toppu o Nerae!

  • April 12, 2005, 10:23 p.m. CST

    Harry- Do us all a favor and SIT ON PARIS HILTON!

    by ZeroCorpse

    Invite her over for a power lunch and then just sit on her. If you squinch your butt cheeks tight enough, they will never find her.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:05 p.m. CST

    What? Who doesn't like watching a train wreck?

    by FrankDrebin

  • April 12, 2005, 11:06 p.m. CST

    That's hot...

    by nsomnia

    ...that's hot, yes, give it to me..that's hot...that's hot...1st year itch ...that's hot...itch 2...itch 3...that's hot..aouch that's hot..itch 4..itch 5...aooouuchhh you're hurting me...itch 6..aaarrrghhh...you guys, one at a time... 7 years of itching and I'm only 23...damned..and you think it's easy being a socialite...that's hot.

  • April 12, 2005, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Before AICN acts all holier-than-thou, it might wanna first remo

    by FrankDrebin

  • April 13, 2005, midnight CST

    Is it April Fool's Day?

    by tensticks

    Gods I wish...

  • April 13, 2005, 1:09 a.m. CST

    I'm really surprised at all of you...

    by Louis P.

    this might be the best idea for a remake I have ever heard. I mean, I think we can all agree "Some Like It Hot" is a tad overrated and can only be improved upon, especially with Paris. First off, you have someone as beautiful and talented as Paris Hilton. I don't know if any of you have seen "The Simple Life" but Paris shows her natural comedic gift time after time on that show. Given the right script and cast, she can prove to be the next Carol Burnett. I say, they team her with Method Man and Redman; those two are terrific. It's a shame that show of there's isn't on anymore, it was so funny. Plus those guys would give the movie a hip urban vibe like "Soul Plane" or "Dairy of an Angry Black Lady" because there black. My point is, it should be okay to remake a flawed movie like "Some Like It Hot" especially since they have already started with a great idea; Paris Hilton. What a talent. What a beauty.

  • April 13, 2005, 2:21 a.m. CST

    Louis P. cant be Paris Hilton because he used big words that Pa

    by Supermonkey321

    I cant stand that this empty headed slut is so popular now. It is like a testiment to the dumbing down of society. Jesus Christ! Not that i wouldnt f*ck the sh*t out of her if she put a bag over her head first, but i would need several layers of condoms on my piece or its no go. Besides, who hasnt f*cked her or known someone who did? Seriously, i know a guy that i went to high school with who hung with her in South Beach a bunch of times and clames to have banged her. I dont doubt it in the slightest. F*ck that slut! Ok, my ranting is done. Supermonkey out.

  • April 13, 2005, 2:42 a.m. CST

    Oh God, NO

    by Durendal

    Paris Hilton is a nasty, scaggy whore with a face that looks like the back of my balls after a shave. She can't hold a candle to Monroe. The only thing she can hold a candle to is my ass...right after a sumptuous chili dinner. Hopefully I can build up a hot blast and melt that bitch's abominable face off.

  • April 13, 2005, 2:45 a.m. CST

    The thing is Paris hilton has giant feet. She wears size 10 shoe

    by Orionsangels

    Monroe had tiny feet and as I recall in the original movie, there's a lot playful closeups of Marilyn Monroe slipping off her shoes, putting them on. How will it look with Paris's giant big feet, sick lol

  • April 13, 2005, 3:34 a.m. CST

    Oh Christ...

    by Lion Fire

    ....Why the fuck do people like Paris Hilton?? She has absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever!

  • April 13, 2005, 4:53 a.m. CST

    speaking of cocksuckers

    by Trader Groucho 2

    Where's our Deadwood talkback???

  • April 13, 2005, 4:58 a.m. CST

    Strasberg said his two most brilliant students were Monroe and B

    by Trader Groucho 2

    Is there an acting coach out there who'd like to offer an endorsement for Ms. Hilton??? I'm open to the possibility that she's actually considering taking the craft seriously. Some evidence, however, would be nice. Exhibit A should be House of Wax. Maybe someone saw her on Veronica Mars (the only ep I purposely missed) and would like to offer a critical assessment.....

  • April 13, 2005, 5:54 a.m. CST

    my dick wants to remake Behind the green door

    by CuervoJones

  • Superb.

  • April 13, 2005, 7:43 a.m. CST

    someone should .....

    by ScaryJim

    no i can't say it out loud, trust me it was very bad taste bit IMO justified

  • April 13, 2005, 4:41 p.m. CST

    I'll just say what we're all thinking

    by Hamish

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • April 13, 2005, 6:33 p.m. CST

    Paris Hilton wears size 11 shoes.

    by Oompa_Radar

    Easily googled.

  • April 13, 2005, 11:14 p.m. CST

    Big feet, small boobs

    by WayOutWest

    Paris has no breasts to speak of. The only 'talk' Paris would be having about this project would be from some producer or director who wants to get this flatbacked whore into the sack. I wonder how much of the Hilton fortune is being wasted keeping her name in the press. Grandpa Hilton may have to come back from the dead to start a new business enterprise. I think I'm onto an actual movie idea that Paris could star in. Conrad comes back after Paris blows the whole fortune, tries a bunch of zany business schemes with sidekick Owen Wilson but can't make any money. Frustrated, they kill Paris and try to make it look like an accident and collect the insurance money.

  • April 14, 2005, 3:37 a.m. CST

    Why all the fuss?

    by NiceMarmot

    Those two movies are hopelessly overrated anyway. And I say that as a Wilder fan. If she has to remake Marilyn's movies, better these than the *good* ones like Asphalt Jungle and Niagara.

  • April 14, 2005, 3:55 a.m. CST

    No...

    by Gluecifer

    she'll play in "Seven year bitch" and "Some like these cocks", don't worry!

  • April 14, 2005, 6:07 p.m. CST

    "I mean, there's hyperbole, and stating that you'd like to see a

    by minderbinder

    Just for the record, I'd be happy if she did die. Just wanted to clear that up.

  • April 14, 2005, 6:49 p.m. CST

    I THINK PARIS SHOULD DO A REMAKE...

    by CelestialPudding

    of ONE NIGHT IN PARIS where there is no night vision and full of full frontal nudity and sex...*cough* and call it "Another Night in Paris: I Like It Hot"

  • April 14, 2005, 6:50 p.m. CST

    ...bah

    by CelestialPudding

    ...hmmm just realise u can't edit typos...DOH!

  • April 14, 2005, 6:50 p.m. CST

    by CelestialPudding

    ...or grammatical errors...