Father Geek here; safely holed-up behind the barbed wire entanglement at the heavily wooded World Geek Headquarters' compound in North Central Austin smack-dab in the middle of the great state (once a republic) of Texas. Well, I've got Latauro's latest from the South Seas, well, actually from that mass of land populated by rabbits, sheep, and a bunch of animal misfits that is surrounded by the South Seas. Oh how I love the compound sentence. Anyway here's the newest report filed with me by the man whose already witnessed tomorrow... buuuut not SIN CITY.
You know how you smoke out a sniper? You send a guy out in the open and you
see if he gets shot. They thought that one up at West Point.
AICN-DOWNUNDER
Just when the hell is SIN CITY coming out? If you believe half the
information out there, it's May 26th. If you believe the rest, it's August.
Hell, a few days ago when the information I had said it was definitely
August, I wrote a big editorial about how it's going to cause more and more
people to download it. Then, less than twenty-four hours later, I got this
email:
I'm really pissed off at the moment because the Australian release date for
Sin City has been puched back to THE 11TH OF FUCKING AUGUST!! How shit is
that! I'm going to download it and give it to all my friends in protest.
I swear to God. Cut and pasted. Unsolicited.
Buena Vista, if the release date is, in fact, in August, you're going to
find yourself with a noticeably depleted box office.
A few years ago, during the year-long wait for BLAIR WITCH to come out, a
friend ordered it from America. There was nothing illegal about this. It had
simply taken so long to come out in Australia that the American DVD release
had come and gone. So a large group of us got together and watched it. Then
people started borrowing it. This was when I was at Uni, and by the time the
film had come out, most of the people at that Uni had already seen it. I'm
sure the local cinemas don't want to calculate how much revenue they lost.
So, Mr or Ms Distributor, why should you release SIN CITY earlier? Why
should you release any film earlier (by "earlier" I mean simultaneous to the
US release) ? Many reasons. You'll make more money. Unless, of course,
you're too cheap to fork out for the multiple prints, and just plan to shop
the ones you have from country to country until we get them, scratched and
unwatchable (as with the occasional films). Of course, by that time, most
people will have seen it anyway.
More than anything, though, delayed releases are a bit of an insult to those
of us who do wait for the legitimate cinema release. We've been waiting as
long as anyone, so why should we have to wait a few months as you come up
with a new marketing plan that reflects how well it's done in the US (films
that don't perform well Stateside usually get a straight-to-DVD release, if
anything)? I won't deny that part of the reason I'm writing this is because
I want to see SIN CITY sooner rather than later, but why should that be
irrelevant?
When it comes down to it, I'm putting my money on a May release. SIN CITY
made a lot of money in the US, and it's getting a lot of press. Still,
delayed releases on films we're all anticipating is an issue that's not
going to go away until we get the sort of simultaneous release we saw with
MATRIX REVOLUTIONS, or at very least, within the space of a week or two as
with the LORD OF THE RINGS films.
I'll let you know when we this confirmed.
NEWS
* Wow. We actually had less news than last week, and given there was almost no
news last week, that's saying something. It is therefore in the interest of
my desire to not have a blank news section that I report Robert Redford will
be voicing some horse character in the new CHARLOTTE'S WEB film currently
shooting in and around Melbourne. Provided you only read AICN, you heard it
here first.
* Oh, wait, here's something. Cate Blanchett, whose ungodly beauty makes me
want to crawl under my seat and weep like a little girl, will be doing some
sort of awesome accent for Steven Soderbergh, who looks a little bit like a
turtle. Soderbergh (who happens to be my favouritist director) is coming off
the perplexing and dividing OCEAN'S 12, is putting together the
long-in-gestation THE GOOD GERMAN, about a journalist in post-Berlin World
War II. Wait. Scratch that. Reverse it. Based on the novel by Joseph Kanon,
the film will, not surprisingly, star 21st Century Cary Grant, George
Clooney.
AWARDS AND FESTIVALS
ASPEN SHORTSFEST
The Aspen Shortsfest, considered to be one of North America's premier short
film and video festivals, has invited Tropfest, considered to be one of
Australia's premier short film and video festivals, to get together and talk
about how great they both are. Additionally, there will be screened a
special Best of Tropfest program, featuring (guess) the best films from the
past few year's worth of Tropfest flicks. If you like skiing with
celebrities, you should be in the area for the festival's April 6th-April
10th screening period.
2005 INTERNATIONAL SHORT FILM FESTIVAL OBERHAUSEN
BLUE TONGUE and GABRIEL, both Australian short films, will be screened at
the Oberhausen festival this year, in the Children's and Youth Film
Competition category. So all of you who live in the city of Festival should
check it out.
BOX OFFICE
Okay, so I was a little harsh on these films last week. I seemed to imply
that this list was comprised mostly of unoriginal crap. Here's the thing:
three of these films are original scripts, and one is a sequel to an
original script! See? Originality dominates the box office! Now *that's*
looking on the bright side.
1. ROBOTS
2. MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS
3. THE RING 2
4. THE PACIFIER
5. HITCH
RELEASED THIS WEEK
The latest Sam Fuller release hits the multiplex, the direction of the Earth
is reversed by the spinning of Spencer Tracey's coffin, Mathew McConaughey
attempts to raise the box office of TITANIC, and Ewan McGregor appears in
another film with his impressive light saber.
THE BIG RED ONE (re-release)
GUESS WHO?
SAHARA
YOUNG ADAM
REVIEWS
Before I take a look at the action flick HOSTAGE, we have an advance review
of the Australian film THE EXTRA. I didn't realise (or forgot) that the film
also featured Shaun Micallef, who may well be the funniest person on the
planet. It's a pity he hasn't had a big breakout hit; if Ricky Gervais can
find an international audience, I don't see why Micallef shouldn't. Anyway,
the main player in this film is the Irish/Australian comic Jimeoin, who in
the normal course of things is painfully funny, but whose film work has so
far been uninspired. So how does THE EXTRA fare up? Here's "McMurphy" to
explain...
THE EXTRA
Reviewed by "McMurphy"
The Extra is everything you've come to expect from Australian films, and
less. It's one of those Aussie films you go to see thinking it will be a
comedy, but you find out as you're watching that they actually tricked you!
Not just a comedy (not even that funny, actually. Once or twice I laughed
out loud, the rest of the so-called jokes were more worthy of a mere
snigger), but including car chases, armed robberies, a detective who wants
to be in showbiz (played by Shawn Micallef, one of the good things in the
film, pity he's not in it more...), two love stories and much more, but
thats enough of that. You get the picture.
Jimeoin's character, The Extra, is a bit pitiful. Very different to
Jimeoin's other film roles and comedy work, not sure how fans will take to
the more serious side of the comedian. As I said, Shawn Micallef is one of
the better things about this film. Bob Franklin is a good villian, Kristy
Hinze does exactly the kind of job a 'model playing an actress' is expected
to do: stand around and look pretty. Colin Lane is camp, Rhys Muldroon in
over-the-top (in an annoying, oh my god please just get out of my sight,
way), can't remember much about the other characters, but that goes to show
what sort of a job they did. Forgettable.
Its not all bad, I suppose. The actual technical side of the filming is of a
much higher standard than we're accustomed to seeing in Australian
'comedies' (using that term lightly here); the lighting is better, the sound
is better, etc.
The biggest problem is that this film wants to MEAN something. It would have
been much better had they just left it a comedy in the vein of Crackerjack
(funny, with just a bit of the touchy-feely 'lets all hug now, everything's
better' moments). The feeling this film left with me? I was glad I hadn't
paid to see it, thats for sure. Just my opinion, but I really disliked this
film. I felt it sucked. Big time.
If you use this, call me McMurphy
HOSTAGE
Reviewed by Latauro
I don't know exactly where I heard or read it, but I seem to think there was
some really good advance buzz about HOSTAGE. There was (I think) talk of it
being a sleeper hit, that the director was some sort of French New
Wave-inspired genius.
It's nothing special.
In fact, this film is about fifteen years too late. Rather than being an
UNFORGIVEN-style throwback to the heyday of Bruce Willis action films, this
serves as a reminder to why we don't make them anymore. Or, at least, why we
don't watch them anymore.
The opening is very promising. Florent Emilio Siri pulls out all the stops
for a brilliantly-directed, genuinely-tense opening. After that, however, he
gets bored, and the direction goes to practically non-existent. It's not bad
direction, mind you, it's just not something I'd be writing home about. It's
as standard as it gets. It seems as if he's felt he'd proven his credentials
in the opening, and now he can sit back and just point the camera at what's
going on.
That's a pity, because what's going on isn't as interesting as the
filmmakers believe. There are a few minor twists, and the production values
are higher than normal, but this is exactly the sort of shit we were being
fed in the 80s and 90s. It's standard action fare that will entertain some
and bore most. Bruce Willis desperately needs a career reinvention; this is
a genre in its death throes.
Beyond that, everything's fine, I suppose. Ben Foster, Kevin Pollack, and
the rest of the cast is fine within the not-at-all-believable setups of
their characters. While critics will wax academic about the significance
behind the DVD library subplot, I think the most disturbing thing is the
sexuality of the young teenage girl. Now, there are two things going on
here. One is the father disapproving of what his daughter is wearing, and
telling her it will incite boys and men alike. There's nothing particularly
wrong with that. The other thing, however, is the inordinate amount of times
the camera is positioned to look right down her top. It's one thing to
comment on perverts, it's another thing for the camera to be one. Maybe I'm
being prudish, but it seemed like an incredible double-standard.
There's not a lot to really like in this film. The Bruce Willis family
subplot is completely contrived, his "breaking all the rules" scenes make
little-to-no-sense, and the parts where the sheriff is yelling at him and
accusing him of being a maverick who plays by his own rules almost had me in
laughter.
It's a pretty big waste of time, and far too uninteresting to qualify for
the worst of the year list.
NEXT WEEK
- Toby Maguire to voice a character in a new CGI/live action film focusing
on the adventures of a group of kittens trying to form a studio with a puppy
in CATS AND BERG
- Inspired by De Niro and Scorsese using the World Trade Centre collapse to
advertise American Express, Al Pacino and Michael Mann will travel to
tsunami-ravaged Aceh to film a commercial for an erectile dysfunction cream
- Clive Owen denies rumours that he's first choice for the papacy
Peace out,
Latauro
AICNDownunder@hotmail.com
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