Ol'Father Geek here at Geek Headquarters in North Central Austin. From the land beyond time we have a report that was sent in tomorrow. No mention of SON OF KONG though. Wait, that's because the report was filed on April 2nd, not the 1st... Damn you Peter Jackson!

Your eyes are glazed. You been eatin' donuts?

AICN-DOWNUNDER

It's been a very slow week, folks. Not for me, mind you, for the film
industry. Me? I've been working heaps. In fact, I figured out that the big
advantage to my screwed-up sleeping habits is that it's only ten more sleeps
until Christmas.

If that sounded like a line from a stand-up routine, it could be that the
Melbourne Comedy Festival is in force. Through my work, I actually managed
to see three acts back-to-back last night (one brilliant, one mediocre, and
one very good). I followed that up with a friend's album launch, whose work
I will unrepentantly plug when a web link becomes available. What with this
film obsession I have going on, it's always great to see live performances,
get that immediate connection to a performer.

Speaking of which, REM last toured Australia back in 1996. I got into them
in 1997, and they quickly became my favourite band. Now, finally, they're
back, and I'll be there Sunday night. I can't adequately describe to you my
excitement, so I'll just jump up and down on the spot for a bit.

What does this have to do with the Australian and New Zealand film
industries? Jack all. I told you, it was a slow week.

NEWS

* Writer-director Sandra Sciberras, she of the little-seen 2003 Aussie film
MAX'S DREAMING, will next helm CATERPILLAR WISH. The film, which centres
around the life of a fifteen year old girl, will shoot in South Australia
this June and star Wendy Hughes (PARADISE ROAD, THE MAN WHO SUED GOD) as the
girl's mother.

* Whannel and Wan, the Melbourne boys who hit it big with horror flick SAW,
will not be returning for the sequel. Darren Lynn Bousman, who many of you
may remember from previous reports on other sites about him directing SAW 2,
will direct SAW 2. Filming will begin on May 2 in Toronto, and hit US
screens at Halloween.

AWARDS AND FESTIVALS

A NIGHT WITH DANY COOPER ASE

The Australian Screen Editors Guild has issues a special invitation to
AICN-D readers with $15 in their bank account to spend an evening with the
lovely Dany Cooper. For those of you who aren't sniggering like adolescent
schoolboys, Dany Cooper has worked on "Battlestar Galactica" (the new,
sexed-up version), and will shortly be putting her razor blades to work on
the currently-shooting CANDY, starring Heath Ledger and Geoffrey Rush.

When: 7:00pm, Wednesday, April 13th, 2005

Where: The Auditorium, Paddington RSL Club, 226 Oxford St, Paddington,
Sydney

Cost: Members $10, non-members $15, students $5

Parking: enter via County Ave or Weedon Ave.

For more info, head to: http://www.screeneditors.com

BOX OFFICE

Once again, mediocrity owns the box office. It's funny people will go and
see just about anything these days, even with DVD sales being as high as
they are. Why must we wait for SIN CITY? For BROTHERS GRIMM? For THE
HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY? Actually, I'm thankful. Outside of press
screenings, I barely have time to go to the movies these days, so part of me
is glad that there's nothing but unengaging pap on the screens.

Here's what your idiot neighbours and co-workers saw...

1. ROBOTS

2. MISS CONGENIALITY 2

3. THE RING 2

4. HITCH

5. THE PACIFIER

RELEASED THIS WEEK

District 13 gets its freak on, Robert Stone makes the best film about the
Hearst family since CITIZEN KANE, and Sandra Bullock follows the Pixar
tradition by making a sequel that surpasses the quality of the first.

ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13

GUERRILLA: THE TAKING OF PATTY HEARST

MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS

REVIEWS

Glancing over last week's reviews, I wondered where my LIFE AQUATIC review
had got to. Then I realised I hadn't wrote it. I won't go into too much
detail here (most likely I'll talk more about it when I do my "Best Of" wrap
up at the end of the year), but if you're one of the many people I've
encountered who are still umming and uhhing about whether to see it, stop
reading this frigging review and go buy a ticket.

BIRTH

I'm sorry - I don't know if this is a good film or a bad film. I don't know
whether I liked it or disliked it. If it's all the same with you, I'm going
to oscillate between my contradictory opinions and then cover over it with
some sort of analogy at the end.

The first sign that this was a brilliant film was at the very opening. Not
wasting any time, director Jonathon Glazer goes straight into a voice over
before the New Line logo has even had time to whiz away from the screen.
Then we're treated to an incredibly beautiful, sensual opening shot, which
is accompanied by a perfectly understated score. It's an impressive shot; a
long dolly around what I assume is Central Park in New York. Then something
odd happens: he cuts to another shot. This shot isn't anything special, or
different. There's no real reason for it, and that's frustrating because it
makes us wonder why we sat through that long opening. It would have been
about twenty times more effective (initially I thought ten times, but sure
enough my scientific calculator proved me wrong) if these opening two shots
had been merged together. It turns the first shot into a pointless exercise;
beautiful, but ultimately indulgent. This is pretty much what the entire
film is.

If you don't know yet, this is the controversial film that has Our Nic
bathing with a ten year old. This kid claims to be her dead husband
reincarnated, and the grief-stricken yet recently-engaged Kidman slowly
comes to believe it. I hate giving plot synopses in reviews, and only do it
here as countless people have, in response to me saying "Hey, I'm seeing
Birth on Thursday", asked "What's that one about, again?".

Glazer directed the brilliant SEXY BEAST, and here he's gone all Kubrick.
While I was watching the film, I wondered if I was biased against him
because of it. I loved EYES WIDE SHUT on first viewing (and, sad to say,
there's not been a follow-up viewing to date), but there's been a lot of
criticism leveled at the film, so I wonder if I was perhaps being
overly-forgiving to a director who we all considered to be God. During
BIRTH, I tried to push that double-edged bias out of my head, and decided to
refrain from criticising Glazer simply because he was less experienced.
Here's the thing, though: he really does come across as a brilliant director
with not enough experience.

There are long, lingering shots where we stay focused on one person's face
regardless of what's going on around them. Brave? Yes. Powerful? Sometimes.
There are a few moments where it's mind-blowing; one shot in particular
where equal credit needs to be divided between Glazer, Kidman,
cinematographer Harris Davides and composer Alexandre Desplat (even though I
think the music used in this bit was not written by he). The problem comes
after the umpteenth close up, where you realise that Glazer has mistaken the
extended, melodramatic close up for intensity.

The film curiously avoids the high concept nature of its plot, instead
focusing on the human drama. I understand why they chose to err on this side
of the line instead of where, say, Robert Zemeckis may have gone, but it
still limps where it could have stridden boldly. Stylistically, I'd say it's
closer to MYSTIC RIVER, or, at least, that's where it wants to be. Eastwood
understated that film's ending in such a way as to leave us breathless. The
power was not diminished by the subtle way (Laura Linney's speech
notwithstanding) the point of the film was revealed. BIRTH has some truly
fascinating ideas, and it went into some amazing places that I didn't for a
second anticipate (even when I did anticipate some important setups which
tie into it). These issues, unfortunately, are not explored to the extent
they could have been, and instead the running time is filled with endless
repetition. Characters will experience something, then discuss it openly to
the people they just experienced it with, then describe it in exactly the
same way to other characters who weren't there. Good storytelling? Not
really. It feels like padding.

So, that analogy I promised at the beginning? This film is like a service
road on the side of a major highway. Sure, you're going in the same
direction, but at a much slower speed and with a dead end that vaguely
promises you a segue back onto the highway. Hm. That metaphor didn't work as
well as I'd hoped (not least because it was actually a simile). BIRTH is
very close to being the film it promises to be, and it's frustrating because
it really does fall short of greatness.

NEXT WEEK

- Milos Forman hires Ice Cube to play Johann Sebastian Bach in "historical
re-imagining" BABY GOT BACH

- Adam Goldberg and Eugene Levy join Jack Black in Norman Jewison's
non-secular sequel SHUL OF ROCK

- Martha Fiennes to helm a new romantic comedy about the fickle nature of
Hollywood relationships in ONEGIN/OFFEGIN

Peace out,

Latauro

AICNDownunder@hotmail.com