Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a little look at SIN CITY, which opens tomorrow. As I write this most of my Austin friends are getting ready for the Austin premiere at the beautiful Paramount theater. I just got back from LA not more than a few hours ago and have decided to stay in based on a plethora of factors. I'd love to go see the flick at the Paramount again and see That Yellow Bastard in person (not to mention Goldie... I could see if she REALLY smells like angels ought to smell), but (one) I'm exhausted, (two) my girlfriend probably wouldn't smile upon me seeing the film twice before she gets to see it and (three) I have a lot of work to catch up on here.

I'm gonna start with my SIN CITY review as the flick comes out tomorrow... shit, I betcha as I type this there are people somewhere in line for the midnight show.

Harry's review was ejaculatory, Neill Cumpston's review was hilarious and Moriarty's review was everything else (yet shared features of both). I frankly didn't know what to do with my review of the flick since these guys have covered all the bases, related everything I felt, but I figure I'll just go ahead give my two cents even if they are very similar to the other filthy pennies you've taken a gander at in the last week or two.

I think the movie is everything that Harry, Drew and our little lady Ms. Cumpston have said it is, which is fucking unbelievable when you think about how high on the pedestal they've put the film.

You know already that this film is essentially the Frank Miller books moving with actors and a score. True. You know already that Rodriguez and Miller (and special guest Tarantino) knocked it outta the park. True. You know already that we get gratuitous nudity in all the right places. Mostly true. But if you don't know right now that Mickey Rourke is a living, breathing, dick-swinging, hardcore, ball-busting fucking Man God in the role of Marv, then you better learn it quick or you might get a visit from Marv and that, my friend, is something you don't want proven to you in person.

Rourke truly steals this film. I do admit that Marv's storyline was always my favorite, so I was set up to like it the best, but goddamn if Mickey didn't knock this one out of the park.

He gets a lot of help from Greg Nicotero and the folks at KNB. Harry gave equal credit to Mickey and Greg in his review saying it was Greg Nicotero and Mickey Rourke's Marv and I have to agree. This could be the best stuff KNB has ever done. Take a look at Marv's face... his exaggerated chin, his angular nose... It could have looked ridiculously like a bad DICK TRACY job if done wrong, yet somehow it stays true to the comics and doesn't look ridiculous on the screen.

Same can be said with the amazing work they did with the Yellow Bastard. Nick Stahl is awesome in the role, totally relishing in every gesture, every body position. He could very well have hated every inch of make-up that was applied to him, but he uses it so naturally you'd think it was his own skin. When he's waving them sick-ass knives around and whipping the hell out of little Nancy... well, he's scary.

Clive Owen is probably the least interesting of the 3 main anti-heroes, but what the character lacks in the gritty testosterone mastered by Willis and Rourke Owen makes up for in steaming charm. Damn if that guy doesn't have a great screen presence.

The supporting cast is on as well. Michael Clarke Duncan is cooler than he's ever been in this film as the big brawny representation of the real evils. Cold, systematic... he's almost a machine. Rosario Dawson is hotter than she's ever been (and wearing about a pound and a half of clothes throughout... I'm sure that helps). I heard Benicio Del Toro is in this movie, but all I saw was a guy that sounded a lot like him. It certainly couldn't have been Benicio... Goddamn that guy's a chameleon. Josh Hartnett is perfect in the few minutes he's onscreen (he's in it more than you think, fyi). Plays it cool and noir-y without a hint of whatever it is that people hate him for. Jamie King is hot-hot-hot. Rutger Hauer is very creepy for the small time he's in the movie and well cast. Elijah Wood is absolutely fucking perfect as Kevin. This casting was a stroke of genius. When you see those fingernails at work and that unwavering look of content on his face... Awesome, creepy and perfect.

Carla Gugino... Oh, Carla Gugino. She's got, perhaps, the best looking natural body gracing this earth right now and God bless her for showing it off. I'm trying to not sound like a pathetic pervo here, but her boobs are amazing. Big, but not Junk Yard Sal disgusting huge, hanging naturally, but not stretchy. Her nudity in this film is truly the perfect Frank Miller spank material brought to the flesh.

Speaking of nudity... Jessica Alba... I'll start by saying I agree with the other reviews that Alba, unexpectedly, is a great Nancy. She nails the vulnerability, the innocence... Her performance is solid. I disagree that clothing her in places where she wasn't clothed in the original books is a "better" choice. With as scene specific as this movie is I really don't think it was a change in heart to keep Nancy's boobs covered. Of every bit of nudity (male or female) in the movie, this is the only one that actually had an important reason to be there. Hartigan is supposed to see how he failed to keep his innocent little angel out of the sin of Sin City. Her being smokin' hot, wearing about as much as Alba wears in real life, helps, but the impact of seeing his little girl grown up and dancing naked for horny, drunk men... I know this sounds like a typical blue-balled fanboy wanting something to jack to a hot young starlette, but I'm serious when I saw it didn't bother me just because I'd want to see Alba naked.

I'm glad Alba's in the movie. She doesn't fuck up the character and she'll bring in so much ticket money it's not even funny... but I wish they didn't have to make any concessions to get her.

The only other thing I didn't like about the film was Michael Madsen. He can be so badass, but here he plays it so fucking over the top he's way out of place. Unfortunately, his bit as at the very beginning so when he first popped up I was worried that the rest of the movie was going to be played over the top and for laughs. It's not, thank God. I understand his character is small and has to be big to get noticed amongst the scene stealers like Clive Owen, Bruce Willis and especially Mickey Rourke, but he just goes too crazy with it. He's not in the movie long and I'm sure that his performance will grow on me, but at first view his line delivery made me scared that this wasn't going to be everything I wanted it to be.

That's the last thing I want to talk about. I felt very much like I felt when I first saw KILL BILL V.1 when the credits rolled on SIN CITY. I felt KILL BILL was as good as I was expecting it to be, but not better than I expected it to be. Does that make any sense? It's hard trying to relate this without making it sound like a negative because it really isn't. My expectations for SIN CITY were astronomical and the film met those expectations, which in and of itself is minor miracle. It was everything I wanted it to be, but not more than I wanted it be, if you know what I mean. Be excited for this film. It deserves your excitement, but try to reign it in just a tad so you don't expect to walk out of the theater with your dick hanging 2 inches closer to the ground if you know what I mean.

This is the best thing Rodriguez has done since FROM DUSK TILL DAWN in my opinion and the very best that most involved have been in a long, long time. Rodriguez's score in particular shines here. And yes, the trailer music IS in the movie and it rocks out with its cock out! If you want to know more, check out this great interview with Rodriguez, Debney and Revell at Soundtracks.net!

Rodriguez and Miller said at ComiCon last year that if this one is successful, they'd like to attack more SIN CITY books, even if it was only for a DVD release and keep at 'em until they've filmed each and every one of the stories. They said they eventually wanted a DVD package where you can just choose which story you want to watch and it'll play for ya'. I don't know about you guys, but goddamnit I want that. I got my fingers crossed for a massive weekend!

Enjoy, squirts! Let me know your feelings when you see the flicks by posting in talkback below! I'm curious to get a consensus on the overall geek reaction. So far it has been stellar!

-Quint