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M. Night to remake SPLASH over at WB and calls it LADY IN THE WATER!
Hey folks, Harry here... Now - Seems M. Night Shyamalan is bailing on the Eisner-less Ears company - for the next most inhuman film studio in Hollywood... Warner Brothers. Just joshing... a bit. Y'all know me, I love M. Night's films. I loved THE VILLAGE and its treatise on a community governed by self-prepetuated fear mongering disguised in its pseudo-period landscape. My fave Shyamalan film to date is UNBREAKABLE - and would sacrifice 3 meals in a row to see a sequel get made, and there is no higher sacrifice. But this time, he's leaving the magic kingdom for the land of termite terrace. And the film he's making centers around a building superintendent discovering a Water Nymph in the swimming pool. Now - what chlorine does to a Water Nymph is unknown, but if she's a bleached blonde, it'll make her hair go green after a spell - which may Dagon her out. There's no note as to genre - is this a mystery, fantasy, comedy, drama, suspense, horror or psycho-sexual heist flick? In typical M. Night form - we are at a loss to imagine quite what he has in store. Let's just hope the twist isn't of a lemon on the sprite's roasted body. Mmmm water sprite... gooooood...
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Tit.
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Mar 25, 2005 5:39:22 AM CST
And the film he's making centers around a building superintende
by bb6634
WTF????
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Goddamn, you must really want to see that sequel!
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Mar 25, 2005 6:37:52 AM CST
village was such a mess that his right to make movies should be
by kylekrane
it was terriable. just terriable. i still feel mollested and lied to.
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My bet's on the fact that the super's actually insane, and is just seeing things. And he's not actually a super, he's a dementia patient in a nursing home that has a hydrotherapy pool. You read it here first.
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I sitll don't understand how people liked this movie. There is one MAJOR problem with it, and that is the attempt to fool THE AUDIENCE. See, the twists in Night's other films, they were there to pull the wool over the eyes of the main character. The portagonist's journey, was the audiences. Since The Village had no major protagonist (For a moment it's Joaquin, then it's William Hurt, or maybe it's Bryce), the whole intention of the film is to fool and TRICK the audience. That's fine for a half hour Twilight Zone, but not for a feature film. THe movie rasies some great points, and there are interesting bits in it, but why wasw the TWIST neccessary in that story?!!?! A much better film was there had previews been changed to, "It is present Day, but in a small Pennsyvania village, villagers are hard pressed to find anything approaching "our time"." That's the movie, let's study the fear placed into the people by the elders. Let's discuss the most underused, but most INTERESTING, Brendan Gleason character. And, while we're at it, let's make GLEASON the one in the woods at the end with Bryce Dallas Howard, a man who's angry that HIS son was made to die, to preserve the lie of the village, while Hurt's Daughter's boyfriend gets a whole crew sent out for medicine. THAT was the movie waiting there to be made. I LOVE Night's work, and I don't mind if there's a twist in every one of his films. HOWEVER, the twist has to serve and be true to the characters and not just a ploy to fool us. Sixth sense? Bruce's journey. We can't know what is happening until he does. Unbreakable? Again, same thing, Bruce's journey. Night, PLEASE, get back to making great flicks, because the Village just left me high and dry.
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Mar 25, 2005 7:29:50 AM CST
Remake? Hopefully the beginning of this plagiarising hack's fall
by salvatoregravano
And why not remake it as "Mermaid in the Manhole"? (The ignorant - search for that string to find out)
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My favorite also. It's the one Shyamalan movie that remains truly great when you know the twist. I hope that he tries to make a movie without a twist. It's starting to become a gimmick, a challenge, to find out what the twist is before the movie is even released. The man is great with characters and mood and I truly hope he'll make a decent film again (both The Village and Signs sucked big time).
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Harry, you looked at the calendar wrong... April 1st is NEXT Friday!
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Yeah, rent that sick Japanese flick instead. Shyamalan can go and shit as far as I'm concerned.
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http://torrentspy.com/search.asp?mode=torrentdetails&id=205600
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There, I just saved you ten bucks. M. Night can suck it, but I guess I'll be forced to see this anyways if James Newton Howard writes the score again. Sigh...
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Or his phenomenal take on Indiana Jones!
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writes the frustrated Evild Dead t-shirt-clad tool on his/her laptop while sipping some frothy crap at a coffee shop. C''mon, stop rewriting plots in these talkbacks. I think we all can agree that the biggest problem is not the quality of Night's films, but the quality of the "fans" that can't possibly be happy for a fellow creative individual's success. Stop it.
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Mar 25, 2005 9:17:27 AM CST
The bigger question: what's the last-minute twist? I say she's
by lance rock
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Mar 25, 2005 9:17:35 AM CST
M. Night is like a 16 year old virgin. He shot is load early an
by lezbo milk
That was what The Sixth Sense was like. It got you buy surprise. After that picture, I was hoping to see more from this director. Apparently someone has convinced him that all his movies need some kind of surpise ending...it's expected. By who? Why just becuase TSS had a fucked up out of left field ending, does this guy have to always try to match that? His movies have gone from clever as in TSS, to shitty as in The Village. Put the gimmic behind you M. Night or it's Goodnight for me and a lot of other potential fans.
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I thought Signs was great. If you seen signs as an alien flick than yes it sucked. It was a sucky alien flick.
But Signs wasn't about aliens. The aliens were there to throw you off of the real topic which was "the role a loved one plays in your life after they pass on". And that story was portrayed beautifully.
The alien story running side by side only strengthened the mothers death and her post-death role in their lives. So im glad he did use aliens in this movie as the antagonists.
It was beautiful that the mother was made the hero. -
Mar 25, 2005 9:33:58 AM CST
The Village was 90 percent entertaining which is a great deal be
by big bad clone
I knew about the twist so I didn't care. What I did like was the characters of the Village. If Knight can stop the fucking twists and write a straight up movie, imagine how good it'll be. BTW- Knight (I'm not attempting to spell his last name) co-wrote the first Stewart Little and for that I am very grateful since there is tons of shitty movies made for kids.
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Mar 25, 2005 9:34:41 AM CST
I wrote Knight instead of Night. I blame the Academy Awards.
by big bad clone
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It all seemed forced in The Village...that is why it was not good. The film would have been nice without the many twist in that film or if he would have left the line...Crazy Fucking White People...oh well, Night's a good storyteller who is excused for one failure but I too would love to see a sequel to Unbreakable or his take on a superhero movie
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Mar 25, 2005 10:01:08 AM CST
Good to see a number of people recognize the Guinea Pig similari
by genro
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...is actually my favorite movie of all time (don't hit me). Yeah, maybe the "he's now in jail" text at the end should have been a little different (hell, even a "...for now" would have been a touch more satisfying). But it's really one of the rare movies (and the ONLY one of M. Night's) that you can watch over and over and over and over again and it just gets better.
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but i dont see any way to make a sequal for unbreakable, Harry. Not all good movies require sequels. BUT THE REAL POINT of the this post is that people who don't like The Village are stupid. I havent figured out what it is, but they have some stupid reason not to like it. Just because it wasn't what many expected does not mean what it actually was was bad.
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Did I miss something in The Village that revealed the ending early because I was dumbfounded by the ending. Is it possible some of you might have been slightly tipped off reading about it on the Internet? Thought it was another great Night flick.
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The mermaid turns out to be a sheep at the end. That's the twist.
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And your right to spell should be too.
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He should make a movie about a filmaker that works well in a city... say, Philadelphia, but everytime he wanders off into rural areas, his movies start sucking. The further away from the city he goes, the more the movies suck.The twist at the end is that it's him!
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Excellent. It was a great film. The people who diss it seem to do so because it 'gasp!' did'nt have the monsters it seemed to promise from the trailors! Now, it had great acting, good script, good dialog, well shot, great pacing. It is a scientific fact that if you did not like this film you more likely than not
1. Still live at home with Mommy and Daddy
2. Think Blink 182 really rock!
3. Are playing vido games the majority of the time
4. Will be first in line to see the new Star Wars crapfest.
5. Are just a dick.
There, enough said. -
It was about latent thinking overcoming one's own hubris, to define what is dead in oneself. Seriously, shut the fuck up about the double meanings in M. Night's films. Their gimmicky twilight zone eps, nothing more, nothing less.
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Do you mean the three meals a normal human eats during the day?
Or 3 of your 8 daily meals..I guess you could skip your
1:00pm - Bag of double stuffed oreos and pint of Chunky Monkey ice cream
1:25pm - Teo bagels, with cream cresse, coated with Chilli Freetos
1:40pm - 2 #1's SS from McD's -
...but this sounds fucking stupid.
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The water nymph is actually an alien dude from Mars...because MARS NEEDS WOMEN!!!
GFY -
I loved the VILLAGE and UNBREAKABLE twists and SIXTH SENSE might be best twist ending of all time. SIGNS was amazing, and my favorite of all Night's films, but the conclusion felt a little forced and illogical.
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Mar 25, 2005 2:43:58 PM CST
btw i loved THE VILLAGE - dont know what bothered people about i
by spacesheik
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Why do the Night apologist fanboys who defend every film of his say the ones who are sick of Night's gimmick (and usually think he is better than what he IS doing) are fanboys? I think it's the other way around.
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#1 THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
#2 PLANET OF THE APES
#3 GRACE AND THE STORM
#4 THE SIXTH SENSE
#5 CARLITO'S WAY
#6 ABRE LOS OJOS
#7 PSYCHO
#8 KILL BILL VOL. 1
#9 ARLINGTON ROAD
#10 THE OTHERS -
"Empire" is definitely the greatest twist ending ever... "Grace and the Storm" might be a close 2nd cause its like 3 twists in one... almost forgot about the "Kill Bill" twist, that closing line in Vol. 1 was an amazing hook...
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I'd add "Jaws", "The Shawshank Redemption", "Godfather Pt2", and "The Conversation" to that list.
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If Harry JUST saw "The Empire Strikes Back", he would find some way to say it was accurately symbolic of the political situation going on now. He tries to sound smart but falls on his ass. And we all know how loudly a thud that makes.
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....The Usual Suspects.
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I swear. I think it was called "Nymph." The woman appeared, and she got to know all the men in the building but she had to be kept wet at all times.
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Not aliens, not the power of a dead loved one, but an exploration about one man's faith. It explores his strong faith, his supposed loss of faith (or just being angry at God), and his renewal of faith. Great movie, great movie maker.
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I'd include Usual Suspects plus Shawshank Redemption... when the Warden rips the Raquel Welch poster away- goosebumps everytime... great call on Grace and the Storm, the climax is a f-ing mindblower...
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Well then Tarantino should have been run out of the business ages ago
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#1 Citizen Kane #2 The Empire Strikes Back #3 Fight Club #4 Grace and the Storm #5 Shawshank Redemption #6 The Usual Suspects #7 The Game #8 Vanilla Sky #9 The Sixth Sense #10 Unbreakable
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Mar 25, 2005 4:39:18 PM CST
I sent away once for Water Nymphs. On the back of a comic book
by orionsangels
When I got them they were like floating ear wax
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Mar 25, 2005 5:18:28 PM CST
The nymph give the super dating advice like how to dance. Then t
by big bad clone
aw hell, I'm already tired of that joke
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Your picks are so lame and, eh, fanboyish. Plus Citizen Kane for good measure.
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Because nothing changes. The audience finds out the Big Secret, but no one else does. At the film's end, the only ones who know the secret are the ones who were keeping it in the first place. There is no enlightenment. No one learns anything. And the status quo remains. So, apart from the fact that the acting is wooden and the motivations are absurd, the story is literally pointless.
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Mar 25, 2005 7:44:55 PM CST
"Call it Lady Over the Water" because that cat jumped the shark
by i dunno
Thank you. Try the veal.
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I hope you're not trying to compare that film to a comic book film. Like Raincoat Guy vs The Lizard. It's not that kind of movie. Yes it's an origin of a comic book story but there is no comic book story.
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but it didn't do too well at the box office. I think a sequal would be great, they've established the main character and the villian, now its time for shit to hit the fan. Also Quentin Tarintino said unbreakable was one of his favorite recent movies, if that means anything to you.
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The twist is that it's so incredibly bad, no one can get to the end to find out if there is one.
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Mar 25, 2005 10:27:13 PM CST
Actually, I think Unbreakable would work pretty well as a televi
by jim jam bongs
You basically have the same premise and set up of the movie, and continue to explore the idea of a man who isn't sure if he's a superhero. But over the course of the series, others come to believe he is -- especially the "supervillains" who challenge him. Everything would be strictly (for the most part) grounded in reality and ambiguity. I think M. Night should pitch this to ABC (owned by Disney, which funds and distributes his movies). Imagine a Wednesday double header with "Lost" and "Unbreakable: The Series".
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No film has tricked so many audience members, and been such a blockbuster because of the "twist".
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Just before the big ending scene, the screen goes white, and M. Night Shymalamadingdingdong walks on the screen and says "What did you expect? A twist ending?" Then laughs like a crazed psycho lunatic, getting all upclose to the camera, pointing and laughing, while counting his two handfuls of cash, and says "LOOK WHAT YOU GAVE ME!!" Then points and laughs at the audience some more, while wiping his ass with his cash. Instant black screen, and the credits roll.
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Mar 26, 2005 3:59:15 AM CST
Instead of a ripoff of Splash, too bad it's not a ripoff of She-
by frankdrebin
The version with Sin City's Carla Gugino, with lots of lez subtext.
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Mar 26, 2005 4:00:11 AM CST
I was just thinking that Spielberg's War Of The Worlds takes aft
by frankdrebin
An alien invasion from the point of view of one family. It's not that Shyamalan's unoriginal--it's that ALL of Hollywood is unoriginal.
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I have confidence that M. Night can at least make it interesting. I found the story of The Village entertaining, but I definitely saw the ending coming a mile away. For the most part, I don't think it takes a lot of imagination to come to that conclusion. Any pedestrian Twilight Zone fan would have come across that possibility, giving more than thirty minutes to come to it was the downfall. As far as the Unbreakable sequel, I think that if you follow the Mage comic series by Matt Wagner(which I wouldn't be surprised if M. Night was inspired by) you get: Unbreakable: The Hero Discovered; Unbreakable II: The Hero Defined; Unbreakable III: The Hero's Destiny. For me, personally, if they explored the extent of David's power in the second part and kept things as solidly realistic as the first film, it could be an amazing film.
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every single one of his movies...vice the stuart little screenplay> has zero emotional quality. every actor always sounds somber and even bored. always quiet speaking with monotone voices. whats the point night? whats...the...point in doing this? i did enjoy the sixth sense...i did not however enjoy how he attempted to explain the twist because the twist he was going for makes no sense whatsoever to anyone who actually sits down to think about it. if you care to ask...ill tell you the problem. i absolutely loved unbreakable and i too await with great enthusiasm to see a sequel. the rest of the movies can go blow a dog. they got all choked up in their pseudo intellectual, monotone spewing bullshit. why oh why do good actors feel drawn to his movies? ill tell you why...because all of you crazy ass retards keep flocking to his movies making them ALWAYS the number one movie in america. its simple...the actors are bored, but they know a good paycheck and profile recognition when they see it. all i ask is that you stop making movies like the ones youve crapped out lately and make a movie that is as enjoyable as the first couple in your series...please!! testicleez out
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It wasn't WHAT was The Village, but WHY was The Village...
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Anyway, I liked Unbreakable but it was hardly a super hero movie in the conventional sense. If it was, that's some boring ass super hero and I can't see a whole trilogy of that happening.
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Night Shift is Opie's best! LOOOOOOVE BROKAS!! And the twist to this film will be that the mermaid is really just imagining the superintendant. Turns out he's just a piece of kelp floating on the water.
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In the Sixth Sense, why did Bruce Willis's wife ignore him all the time? -- talk about a cold bitch. And in Unbreakable, they never explained why Bruce Willis couldn't be hurt -- what up wit dat? And Signs, I think it was a hoax -- what do you think? And in The Village, why are people so shocked that the Amish live nearby? I guess I just don't get his movies. (insert tongue in cheek then ass). Can't wait for Splash -- such a HUGE fan!
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Let me guess: Assclown Kutcher plays the Hanks role and Keira Knightley plays Hannah's mermaid. Kutcher 'orally pleasures' every male Academy member (pun!) and wins Best Actor.
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Dear Gifted in the Pants,
Interestingly, there is a porno take on Splash, called Talk Dirty to Me III, starring Traci Lords. Are you psychic or what, mermaid porn and a sexualized minor in rapid succession? You are sharp.
xoxo,
Dr. Cornelius, the young ape with a shovel (see what I dug up) -
Forced to wear Bryce Howard's panties on his head.
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Keep dreaming
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Are these talking squirrels? The ones around don't understand the concept of payment. I've tried getting them to pick up leaves and I've even offered them a full jar of peanut butter but the fuzzy little bastards just sit there staring at me while stuffing their cheeks. Where are these genius squirrels you speak of? and if they're so smart couldn't they get better gigs than nipple licking?
Oh, and on topic, the twist is, he falls in love with her and she's really a monster with a nymph lure on it's nose and it eats him. -
This is the writer of Stuart Little 2 people, I have confidence. Speaking of twists, anyone actually seen that movie? Is there a twist? Mouse is a cat?
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every single one of his movies...vice the stuart little screenplay> has zero emotional quality. every actor always sounds somber and even bored. always quiet speaking with monotone voices. whats the point night? whats...the...point in doing this?............................................
Because it's apparently the way M. Night directs his actors...once saw Sam Jackson interviewed about Unbreakable, and he mentioned how M. Night expected the actors to deliver their lines in a certain way, even controlling the actor's inflections. Now that seemed to me like Sam was trying to politely say that M. Night imposed the way the lines were to be read because he did not know how to work with actors... -
Mar 28, 2005 1:28:51 PM CST
But more importantly, will Styx sing the title song? Laaaadddy o
by big bad clone
When the fuck is this site going to update?
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If you think about it, most movies have surprise endings, the "whodunits" where the bad guy/killer/thief was completely not who you expected, or how did they get the treasure out of the museum, ingenious! These are surprise endings, where you know what the question is and the answer surprises you... with M. Night, he gives you twist endings, ie an answer to a question that didnt exist... its misdirection in its purest form... with every movie we were thinking about one thing and then all od a sudden he throws something at you and you didnt even know its was coming... Village was the ONLY movie of his where I knew ahead of time what was going to happen at the end (although Ill admit I knew it was modern time, i thought the village was some sort of contained socialogical experiment, to observe how people lived in that "era")... I support M. Night, because he continues to be fairly original and entertaining (except 6th sense, watch "Dead and Buried"... the movie is about a guy who finds out that a local mortician is bringing people back from the dead and at the end of the movie he finds out he already died and was brought back, but didnt know it the whole time)
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Updates, please. Pretty comic book design isn't enough to keep us coming.
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...was a fun little film. Once. Virtually no rewatchability after you've figured out Bruce is dead (which my date and I did the first time they showed him at home with his wife after the shooting). It's not at all like The Usual Suspects, which actually gets better the more you watch it with the knowledge that Spacey is playing a character playing a character. That's a layered and complexly fascinating piece of fiction. Unbreakable has some comic fanboy appeal, but otherwise is essentially the same as Sixth Sense. Once is enough. Both were decent films the first time, though. Signs was crap. The glaring logical holes (like why aliens with interstellar travel capability wouldn't think to wear a slicker to a planet covered with something they're violently allergic to) were spackled over with Hollywood faith and fate, making for a painful viewing experience with an utterly predictable "twist" ending. And the Village was worse, out and out lying to the audience for what purpose? As if there was anyone in the world not expecting a twist from that movie? And that, Harry, is why not a one of us is at a loss to imagine what M. Night has in store with this new movie. It will be some kind of hackneyed bullshit which, if the declining quality of his films is any indication, will be even more insulting to the intelligence of viewers than his last two movies. Oh... and for whoever said Quentin Tarantino called Unbreakable one of his favorite recent movies, all that tells me is that we can expect to see elements of Unbreakable lifted and recycled in a Tarantino film soon.
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And those two themes do not mix, because that means that God created the evil aliens. Sure, Mel figured out how to kill him with the help of his dead wife, but a lot of other families died not knowing that, so that's God's fault. M. Night has a pretty disturbing view of God.
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no, never mind. Let this hack make yet another shitty movie that makes billions in BO -- it will only provide further evidence of how fucking stupid the general public are.
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