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FANTASTIC FOUR to beat up on a girl, rather than Spielberg & Cruise...
Hey Folks, Harry here and it seems that the folks at Fox were watching reactions to the bearded one's Super Bowl Spot - and after they saw that tumbling elevated highway - suddenly, their faith in the FANTASTIC FOUR wasn't quite as fantastic as one would hope, because they up and moved a week back to July 8th. Cuz while apparently the FANTASTIC FOUR can't kick martian, Cruise or Spielberg ass, they are confident that they can kick that witch's ass. That's right, Fox is going to pit their superhero spectacular against Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell in BEWITCHED!
Of course Fox doesn't say they're running. According to quote in The Hollywood Reporter:
"We are not running from 'War of the Worlds,' " Fox president of distribution Bruce Snyder said. "This (new) date just works better for us."Why does it work better for em? Could it be... it's just a little further away from... Lions Gate's UNDEAD! That's right, Fox heard they were going to try and open on the same day as a Butt-Numb-A-Thon ZOMBIE MOVIE and ran screaming in intimidation. Funny thing is - at one point Fox was courting the directors of that film to direct FANTASTIC FOUR. Now - UNDEAD muscles the film clean off its date.
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Woo.
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While War of the Worlds looks phenomenal. Just hearing the buzz at work comparing the two trailers....it's not even close. Everyone is hyped about the ID4-style WoW trailer. Batman got a lot of praise, too.
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FF will tank.
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Re-examining the FF trailer and then watching a few episodes of Smallville.. The seeming similarities in the production design, look and feel is kinda worrying. I'd advise Fox to run a little further, say October.
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Unless "WotW" is a "Godzilla"-level stink bomb, it's still going to take a chomp out of "FF" opening week. They should have opened earlier or stayed on the 4th. This reeks of cowardice, which spurns suspicion about the quality (or lack thereof) in Tim Story's movie.
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That trailer... pure Spielberg genius. Will he be back to his old & brilliant level? The only thing I am worried about is how the original novel is adapted by Koepp, but I have high hopes.
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...but that's all FF has going for it. That trailer for WOW was fucking amazing. Huge chunks of overpass flying through the air. I almost crapped my pants. I haven't been this impressed since they blew up the Whitehouse in ID4, or when Godzilla first broke through that building. Of course, we know how those other disaster films turned out. Here's hoping WOW is one for the history books. My one fear: that Cruise and Fanning will be estranged father and daughter and we'll get an annoying subplot where cruise learns to be a good father. Please, just let them be a normal family and show him protecting his kid. We don't need any broken relationship made good plot like quaid and gyllenhal in day after tomorrow. Oh yeah, and the subject to this post was a joke. somehow, i think dakota's gonna get REAL ugly in about five years.
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In the words of Dave Chapelle as Rick James "The tables have turned Darkness!"
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Feb 08, 2005 7:04:46 AM CST
Fake-looking CGI (not that real-looking CGI exists) is killing t
by thecat
"...it's clobberin' time, BROTHER"
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Kneel before Speilbergo.
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I'd rather eat my own shit than see either.
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Even the previews look like some cheap made for cable TV movie.
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I'm not out to bash FF or FF fans but... this film looks really rushed and not very exciting. Sorry but its just an opinion. I cant see this film doing very well.
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Feb 08, 2005 8:43:22 AM CST
It's funny they would move this, since they were obsessed with g
by barry egan
I don't know that this is a sign of lack of confidence in the film. That would be moving the movie out of the summer altogether. This seems really smart to me as the buzz on WOtW is getting a lot louder and these are both sci fi/fantasy films which will appeal (in theory) to the same audience.
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I'd say this move is the cinematic equivalent of throwing in the towel. Fox executives: "No mas! No mas!" Come to think of it, maybe it's over for Marvel Films in general... their winner-to-stinker ratio is leaning dangerously toward Total Stinkitude, especially after their recent triple-bomb of "The Punisher", "Blade Trinity" & "Elektra". Meanwhile, the Distinguished Competition is closing in with a new "Batman" that looks stronger the more I see of it (forgive me, Gods of Cynicism, but the Super Bowl spot has me thinking "Batman Begins" might be... I can say it... might be good). If Bryan Singer can resuscitate "Superman", all it's gonna take is one good Wonder Woman or Green Lantern movie to bury the one-time "House of Ideas". Not that Avi Arad need fear unemployment... Harry's gonna need someone to run errands for him until his leg heals up!
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Feb 08, 2005 8:52:17 AM CST
Well said, wolf at the door, I'll join you in line to watch Alba
by lone fox
Love Spielberg, but Cruise-face? Okay, so fuck it I liked Cruise-face in Minority Report, but even then he had some sort of father/son issue to deal with. That's the worst. Watching aliens wage war on earth only to cut to Cruise-face torn between whupping E.T.'s ass and 'being a good father'. *Bleeccchhh*
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i dunno why they'd be afraid of Undead, possibly one
of the worst boring zombie movies ever made with one of the worst scores since last house on the left. -
like someone said, who needs yet another remake of a story that's boring to begin with? The footage so far has been incredibly meh. An overpass crumbling?! OH MY GOD!!! At least FF4 is a bit fresh, even if the early footage is looking quite meh indeed.
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Nah, that'd make too much sense.
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You guys seen the Carson clip?
http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/7518/details/ -
dakota fanning scares the hell outta me too.
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The funniest classic Hollywood imbeciline since "X was always my first choice".
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...the biggest Hollywood BS of all:
I always planned [franchise] as a trilogy. I've had the ideas to [half-baked quickie sequel] kicking around for years.
Also, did you ever notice that every single magazine interview with Lara Flynn Boyle begins with her eating a big, sloppy hamburger? Every one. -
It's funny that you guys all beat up on FF for moving, yet, for some reason, Spielberg won't release his masterpiece of disaster porn on Memorial Day, the traditional BIG MOVIE DAY. Wonder why? Must be because it sucks.
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Test Footage from Jeff Waynes animated version
http://www.waroftheworldsonline.com/movies/clip.htm -
Anyone really surprised?
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I don't know, but I think in a head to head power match up, Samantha would kick the Fantastic Four's ass. Now that, I would pay to see.
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Sometimes I wish that people, especially those from Hollywood, would just cut the doublespeak nonsense and be honest. Why does that date "work better?" Could it be that it's further from 'War of the Worlds,' maybe? Yeesh. I know the business school graduates who ru(i)n the film industry think we're all dumb sheep, but this is downright comical. The statement itself is borderline absurd. If this isn't about what we all think it's about, Mr. Mouthpiece, kindly explain why you jettisoned the opportunity to open on July 4th, a date which was to figure prominently into your marketing of the film, a date which every studio in Hollywood covets, and a date which you had all to your lonesome selves. Because it "works better" to go head-to-head with a Nicole Kidman-Will Ferrell comedy on a less attractive release date? Maybe there's a trace of counterprogramming there, but the only reason anyone would move is because they fear bad business. What's there to fear on July 4th besides for a snowballing 'War of the Worlds?'
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I wont have to see a movie that weekend.
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When are people going to realize that CGI is here to stay. Trust me folks: optical effects look worse. I just think some of you just don't like fantastic or Sci-Fi things. If you didn't have the CG to complain about, you'd be complaining about the stop motion or the optical mismatches.
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There is no way these people don't know that this movie isn't going to work, and they're still making it? I don't know how they do it.
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Everyone knew the FF was going to be suckage. I'm disappointed because Chiklas as Ben Grimm and Ioan Gufford as Mr. Fantastic is inspired casting. But fucking Alba as Sue?? Let's get the most tanned and dark haired gal we can find and make her the blonde, pale invisible woman? Oh, and we'll make her really young to get that demographic, cause you know..it'll work. She's supposed to be a scientist, not some fucking breakdancing teeny bopper with a belly ring out to save her neighborhood from the ghetto...or whatever crap movie she's in this week. It's a waste, and we all knew it would suck once we heard who was directing it.
I'd feel bad for Marvel, but they've anal raped me with the last two flicks of theirs I went and saw. And then they tried to fuck Stan out of the money they owed him. Much like they've fucked me out of my money. Give me the cheesey Boy Who Could Fly filled Roger Corman FF anyday boys and girls.
Reap what you sow bastards.
Batman is gonna rule.
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"She's supposed to be a scientist, not some fucking breakdancing teeny bopper with a belly ring out to save her neighborhood from the ghetto..." exactly what part of FF4 does she breakdance? Does she 'bust a move' while she's fighting Doom. You're probably one of those 'angry at the demographic' people simply because the demographic is not you: 'a fat slobbering dude wanking off in his basement'.
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Cruise + Spielberg + aliens fucking shit up = 2005 box office champ.
FF going up against that is like North Texas Univ. going up against the Patriots...real ugly...real fast.
FF has a better chance against Bewitched (can anyone say Stepford Wives)...althrough Will Ferell gives Bewitched some life...I still think FF will come out on top on the 8th. -
Feb 08, 2005 10:54:07 AM CST
Talkbackers to beat up 'Fantastic Four' rather than Tom Cruise a
by ribbons
I try to read some of these posts and figure out how in the sweet blue sky one comment follows another. "Reap what you sow bastards. Batman is gonna rule." Huh wha? And we should be listening to you why? I suspect that even if 'Fantastic Four' turned out to be decent (which it still might ("Nah-uh, Sue Storm looks like a fucking.... ummm.... teenybopper!!! With a belly ring!(?)")), they'd move it away from 'War of the Worlds.' I don't think it's a coincidence that this decision followed Superbowl Sunday. But hey, if it gives you the opportunity to say "Fantastic Fuck-up," who am I to inject reason into a discussion?
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Feb 08, 2005 11:02:51 AM CST
Everyone who's going to see Fantastic Four still would have gone
by pullmyfinger
I think all of us geeks who would have seen FF still would have gone in the original date. Personally I don't see FF being a movie that reaches a broader audience like Spider-Man does.
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Yeah, 'Blade: Trinity' was indeed "THAT bad." It's one of the few movies, and this isn't hyperbole, that I wish I hadn't paid to see. "Feel sorry for me" because I can't enjoy a shitty movie if you're one of those people that does that, but honestly, I don't care. Marvel got away with murder by releasing a film THAT bad (can't speak for 'Elektra' because I haven't seen it and now it's out of theaters), and believe it or not, I do have reasons for saying that rather than just wanting to hate a movie, but it's not worth it to list them all, plus you'd probably hate me in either case. Suffice it to say we have a difference of opinion on that one.
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This film needs absolutely nothing against it at the box office. I'm afraid Bewitched is even going to take it to the cleaners. They are not really thinking in regard to release dates on this. They didn't respect the source material, hired a director without merit, wrote a crap script, and are serving up crap efx. They are going to get slammed for it and it's their own damn fault.
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As a point of interest, have you finished the 'Fantastic Four' script? 'Cause I'd like to have a look at it next.
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The poster for WOTW looks like it was taken from a graphic from the early 90s TV show. Hopefully the movie leads to a DVD release of that show 'cause I'll just home and watch it instead. Harrison Blackwood 4-Eva. Heh.
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It's not an actual remake of the show, but a movie about making a remake movie of the show. Nicole Kidman is cast as a witch, only to find out she's a real witch, ala that Vampire movie with Willem Defoe. Just wanted to clear that up.
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"Fantastic Four" instantly made me think it looked like "Lost in Space." The fact that Tim Story is behind it is enough to stay way. Remember he's the man responsible for the bad american version of "Taxi" recently. That alone has me worried. As for "War of the Worlds" I thought the trailer was confusing. All I saw was some people loading in a car one is Cruise the other Dakota Fanning, and they are telling someone to get in, then they look back and a bridge is being torn to shreds. That gave me no emotion, I kinda laughed really. Speilburg has come up dry recently. The last good movie he did was "Minority Report." Spielburg better work on Indy 4 soon, or his career is history.
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I don't know if it has been disussed on AICN, but I have read elsewhere that Fox is putting an additional $20 million into reworking the ending of the picture, improving the effects, etc. I think Fox really wants this to work. I am an optimist, and I hope it surprises all of us.
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This movie looks like BLECH! Wish they'd move it to the same secret underground storage unti they put the first attempt from ten years ago into.
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FF looks like a pile of steaming shit. Which would make it warm I guess, but certainly not hot.
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It never ceases to amaze me how the dynamic in these talkbacks is so similar to herd mentality. Someone suggests "FF is running from War of the Worlds! It must suck!" and you all swallow it hungrily. That's an interesting "If..then..." proposition, but it doesn't really hold up to logical scrutiny. Let's see... you've got what is certainly going to be the biggest summer blockbuster of the year... a remake (or re-imagining) of a much-beloved classic movie (which was, in turn, a re-imagining of one of the most beloved sci-fi stories of all time) helmed by arguably the most powerful two men in Hollywood, opening up on what happens to be the same weekend you plan to release your significantly lower budget sci-fi-ish movie based on a property really known onloy to comic fans (and even among them, not necessarily everyone's cup'a). You're pretty proud of your movie and you'd like folks to go see it, if for no other reason than you'd like to make some of your money back. What do you do, hotshot? What... do... you... do? I think you move your opening so it isn't in direct competition with a movie of the same genre that, by any analysis, is going to do bigger box office than you are. Does that mean your movie sucks? No. Does it even mean the other movie is going to be any good? No. It means you know people are sheep and are going to flock to the familiar. It's a smart move and it really tells us nothing about the quality of either film. Neither do the trailers that aired during the Super Bowl. Now be quiet or you won't hear the shepherd's zipper behind you.
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What is it? It's pretty cool. My thoughts on FF is that maybe Guillermo should have had a crack at it? But I'm still going to see it. The Punisher wasn't as wack as people said.
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The song in the trailer is some sort of remix for the A Perfect Circle song "Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums." Don't know whether or not it's available in any format, but best of luck as far as that goes.
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Right behind WotW and Bewitched! Muahahah... FOX should be grateful for _any_ penny they can make with FF during the -three- weeks of it's wide release ... cause this pile-'o-shit is gonna tank. HARD.
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...A huge effin' Martian tripod stomp and squash the Commish in that lousy rubber Thing-suit.
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Feb 08, 2005 12:56:24 PM CST
It's sometimes fun to be a professional hater, but let's face it
by mr. profit
My mom freaking turned to me and said It's Clobbering Time in the theater. I was so embarassed. I forgot how the F4 always did skewer a bit older. We are all going to see the film. I don't see it flopping like Elektra. It may be a Daredevil sized hit at worst.
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Guaranteed. Marvel has quite astonishingly managed to run every single one of their (potential) franchises into the ground except two -- SPIDER-MAN and X-MEN. You'd think they'd have figured out by now why/how, since it's so blatantly obvious to anyone else with even half a brain. "Hmmm, let's make FANTASTIC FOUR with a B- and C-list cast, a stingy budget, etc." It's such a sad, wasted opportunity. (And to think they could've gone with the big-budget Michael France script directed by Chris Columbus seven years ago... or even the Doug Petrie scripted / Peyton Reed directed version two years ago. Sigh...)
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Feb 08, 2005 1:11:21 PM CST
I agree with many here, they should push it out further...
by wungolioth
You know that WOTW is going to own the box office at least 3 weeks. I think early to mid August would be much better.
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The original spot was much more effective......more sinister. Granted, freeways are an essential part of life for most of us, and thus seeing them destroyed so easily is a bit of a jolt. However, I hope that scene is the exception, rather than the rule in "War."
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It's pretty sensible for FF to move back a week. Spielberg + Cruise + alien invasion + famous title = mucho interest upfront. The FF have been around for over 40 years, but neither the cast nor director are well-known. FF is the one Marvel property that needed a Spielberg or Cameron helming it, but I hope Tim Story can pull it off. It's unfortunate that non-geeks may think the FF are ripping off The Incredibles powers, when it's the other way round.
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it's a smart business move to counter program Bewitched instead of going head to head with the dual star power of Spielberg / Cruise and mammoth spectacle of WOtW. They'd be fools NOT to move it.
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Last Spielberg film I watched at a theatre was the last Indy. NEVER been to a Cruise film. FF NO INTEREST probably d/l WOW, catch FF on cable. So far Ep. III will be the only film I will pay to see, Batman, well I'm still not sold on it...
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Yeah, WOTW will totally rule the summer box office, because it's not like there's a STAR WARS movie coming out this year. Certainly not the LAST STAR WARS. And definitely not the LAST STAR WARS WITH DARTH VADER FIGHTING OBI-WAN KENOBI. Nope. I'm betting FF will do slightly worse than the 1st X-Men (which you guys bitched about nonstop), or about $130MM.
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Feb 08, 2005 2:21:54 PM CST
"Spielburg better work on Indy 4 soon, or his career is history.
by mr brownstone
bwahahaha! that is rich. thank you for that. hilarious.
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The effects shots we saw in the spot cannot be finished as they've only been working on this movie for all of 2 minutes (how the FUCK is Spielberg gonna get it in theaters??!). I don't know what sort of illegal substances Spielberg is experimenting with but by all accounts this is one of the most insane projects in history. It only seems a few weeks ago that Cruise was announced for the lead role. Then we find out it's gonna be the most expensive movie ever made, and that Spielberg wants it to be the movie of the decade - what the fuck's THAT all about?! Maybe I'm a little in the dark, has Mr. Berg been planning this for a long time or not? If not this could be the biggest and I really mean BIGGEST movie disaster (as opposed to disaster movie) EVER EVER EVER! More disasterous than the fuck-awful Pearl Harbour. If this is Spielberg's 'dream' movie it could suck like so many other 'dream' movies. And didn't Koepp write Jurassic Park 3? The script for that totally blew, the great action (Rex vs Spino, Pteranodons) just barely saving that movie. Though, even if it IS a big fucking mess it will still kick the Fucking Four into touch. That, unlike WOTW, is GUARANTEED to blow.
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Friday, November 4th is open. And that would give them more time for the effects work and reshoots, if necessary.
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Feb 08, 2005 2:47:49 PM CST
Holy echoing Vogonian poetic statements of mutiny and allegiance
by neosamurai85
So... um... Undead is coming to the U.S.... to the big screen? Not to select theaters, but all over? I have not seen this film and I really did want to. For some reason that is the only thing I give a shit about in this talkback. I mean, I could throw in my two cents about WotW Vs. FF, but I was hardly able to read all the ones already out there. Too much of the same thing... no point. Dear god I hope there will not be a I Dream of Genie flick... That would be hell. Peace.
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Feb 08, 2005 2:48:59 PM CST
Just a thought, but maybe it is the most expensive movie ever ma
by big jim
because they have hundreds of people working around the clock to finish the effects. But I agree, it is a very ambitious timetable for such a big movie. But I guess if anyone can pull it off, Spielberg can.
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Feb 08, 2005 3:16:06 PM CST
FF was shot in Vancouver and you can tell: Looks cheap and Cana
by charles grady
FF has a C-list cast (I love Alba and Chiklis, but they're essentially TV actors, and Chris Evans is a fucking nonentity) and that dreaded cheap shot-in-Canada to save money look; All murky metal tones and foggy grey skies, with woodsy green forest action in the background -- totally cheap, B-list, half-assed, as though no one could bother to make a REAL fucking movie. Canada ALWAYS looks B-grade in big action movies (think ELEKTRA storming the woodsy forests of British Columbia -- gee, do hired assassins get a lot of gigs in the fucking Pacific Northwest???????) This should go straight to video, since filming ON THE CHEAP in VANCOUVER gives the movie a second-tier, murky, straight-to-video look.
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They're perfectly fine movies (especially X2), but they still had the Canada look. HOWEVER, they were set in Canada (wasn't the comic, also?) so they get an exemption. Usually I'm a little more forgiving if they just admit it's fucking Canada and set the movie there (THE SCORE, TAKING LIVES) than when they try to pass Vancouver or Toronto or Montreal off as some booming American metropolis.
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The thing is... is that Sue Storm originally was just Reed Richards girlfriend who happened to be a model/actress. So in that sense, Jessica Alba is a pretty good choice. Of course they've changed it so that she is a fellow scientist, but kept the physicallity of her original incarnation. A scientist + the body of a model/actress = a happy Reed Richards.
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Feb 08, 2005 4:04:38 PM CST
Charles Grady, your "Canada" comment earns the second place of t
by sirbiatchreturns
and SeeThroughThis very much destroyed you with that brilliant one liner. Now on to SeeThroughThis. Blade Trinity was bad man. it was just mediocre. It was not an absolute pile of shit but if you compare it to Blade 1 or even 2, number 3 is extremely mediocre. There are definitely more things wrong with number 3 than were right. let me make a short list: the final fight with Dracula was lame, considering that the final fights in Blade 1 and 2 were way more memorable. The camera direction was amateurish, which makes sense... Goyer is an extremely amateur director. There were a lot of 'speed to night' scenes that were unnecessary. The fight scenes as a result, put together by a mediocre director, were mediocre and very choppy. Blade 1 and 2's action was very fluid. You could see exactly who was hitting who, not just ZOOM IN! kick! ZOOM OUT. person hits table. The plot was incredibly bare and nonscensical in a lot of places. man... there are too many things wrong with that movie. You may have enjoyed it, but you're the only one i know. I didn't walk out thinking: 'wow, that was garbage'. i walked out thinking: 'wow.. that was MEH.' which is NOT a good thing for Blade.
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Fuck you. I'm cool with you being a Marvel apologist and all, but I've been nothing but straightforward about my opinions. Don't you try to defuse my dislike of 'Blade: Trinity' by accusing my opinions of being informed by bitterness and jealousy. I don't resent David Goyer for his success, and by that logic, I must resent every mediocre film that was written and directed by the same person with the same intensity. Do I think I could do better? No. Do I wish I hadn't wasted my money on it? Yes. And I'll explain to you what I disliked about the movie right after you explain where you ferreted out my "ulterior motives" from. Asshole.
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Feb 08, 2005 4:10:40 PM CST
Charles Grady - Was the X-men movie and comics set in Canada?
by boomstick81
Parts of the movie were set in Canada (beginning of X-Men and ending of X2)... the rest was NY.
On another note, all of of this is deja vu for me. Same complaining here as there were for X-Men and Spider-Man. You'd think people would learn to judge after they see the finished product. I also like how the FF costumes are basically exactly like the comic, yet everybody hates them. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. -
I understand all's fair in love and talkback (hence your obvious contempt for most of us), but I don't need someone who doesn't even know me telling me how miserable my existence is. That's not why I come here and frankly, I don't think I deserved it. But you use it like it's some kind of currency in the defense of a movie any right-thinking person ought to know isn't worth it. So yeah, you most certainly "hit a nerve." That's a given.
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Feb 08, 2005 4:18:32 PM CST
I love how ELEKTRA'S hipster uptown agent lived on a drab fuckin
by charles grady
Canada always looks like fucking Canada. It's just insulting when a B-level director like Tim Story or Rob Bowman shoots their cheap-ass, no-attention-to-production-design hackworks there to save a buck.
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Feb 08, 2005 4:20:01 PM CST
Ribbons, SeeThroughThis has shown himself to be a troll time and
by sirbiatchreturns
You try to reason with him, then he'll make some random comment. leave him be.
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Feb 08, 2005 4:37:29 PM CST
I can understand the American frustration with film projects goi
by mr. profit
It takes away revenue that a city like NY or LA could use if the film was made there. But racism for our friendly Northern Neighbors aside, the "Canadian" look that Grady seems to be referring to does not come from the film being made in Canada. It comes from directors with no visual style. While I dont necessarily hate the X-men films, I do think they are average action films that show glimmers of the kick ass potential that they should have. XMen films should be better (Actionwise) that the original Matrix. Wow I am now on an all new subject (Stay focused) Anyhow, everyone with any basic sense knows that cinematography plays a major part in the way a film looks. The TCM remake looked like it cost a pretty penny but it only cost 9 mil to make. Why cinematography. We should not be so quick to bash Canada, we should only be pissed towards them for Alanis, Celine, and Avril. And Tim Story may have made the horrible Taxi. But it did look nice. Too bad the story and script were shot to shit.
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I saw War of the Worlds nine years ago when it was called Independence Day, and I read it before that. Fantastic Four never had a chance anyway, the characters are too comic book-y to look right on screen (unless they are animated). I'll just catch H2G2 a couple more times during the summer.
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Feb 08, 2005 5:21:03 PM CST
Isn't it insanely difficult to shoot in NYC for extended periods
by ribbons
I don't begrudge 'Fantastic Four' a Vancouver shoot. I understand there are labor unions that make the conversation more complex, but it's certainly not a barometer of a good or bad film. I can't think of any Fox movie that's been shot in NYC in recent history, so whatever. The real challenge is whether or not Story and the production designer do a good job of hiding it.
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I'm reminded of how I felt when I first saw the X-men trailer. I was just underwhelmed. A couple of things in it got me excited like seeing Wolvy poping his claws for the first time on screen. Same thing with the FF teaser trailer. It all just seems bland except for the part where the truck crashes in to The Thing. We all know X-men turned out just fine with an even better sequel. My guess is Tim Story is taking the X-men approach and making FF more of a character based flik rather than an all out action spectacle which should bode well for the film. I think this might be one of the reasons Fox wants to move it away from War of The Worlds- they know a character based film that has big box office aspirations cant compete with a film like War of The Worlds.
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enough with the abreviations already.
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It's a TOM CRUISE SPEILBERG movie! they seem to be touting. Um, we had one already! I'll see it of course, but not too jazzed yet - all the trailers are shots of people looking at things. Oh, and a highway blowing up. I wonder if it's going to hint on imperialism at all... or is that too "hot button" for a blockbuster? Remember, in PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE the aliens attacked us before WE could make a *ahem* WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCITION - the Solinite Bomb! (sp)
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Feb 08, 2005 5:35:59 PM CST
YESS!!! IT"S GOING TO FREAKEN COME OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
by rickslamu2
And i needed a little good news right now!!!!!
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...H2G2= HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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I can't wait.
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is up with all the Independence Day hatred? ID4 was a fucking awesome movie and still is. It's grand, has lots of famous shit blowing up, patriotic, has an awesome score, cool looking spaceships, Brent Spiner, and LOTS OF GODDAMNED EXPLOSIONS.
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Read the script review. Didn't you?
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H2G2 is the real guide. Yes, there is in fact a real life guide. Douglas died working on it. He had dreams of combining something like the Mac slate technology with a palm pilot and other such toys to make a real life guide that people could contribute to. As for now it is only a website, but it is a fine site at that. Highly recommend giving it a look through. Asking it about love and sex tends to be quite amusing (lets face it, nobody talks about sex like da Brits!) and I think Mr. Adams even has a few posts. All around great site. http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/ I would also recommend the insanely vast site Wikipedia which I think is related to h2g2 in some way... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Main_Page Enjoy! Peace.
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Actually sweetheart, I'm a 29 year old female who has more respect for the comics than the movie makers do. Jessica Alba has no talent other than her looks. That's my opinion and I'm allowed to have it, and it's also the opinion of many other people. As for whacking off in the basement, you boys on this board who are hooting and applauding Alba, what Oscar or Emmy winning performance would you be discussing? Her stunning and groundbreaking performance as Honey? Or her so memorable performance in Idle Hands (a truly spectacular film in its own right?)
Compare this to the X-men series, made by someone who gives a shit about the work and actually has Oscar nominated performers in it like Ian Mckellen? This is a series that actually goes to great lengths to remain respectful to the fans and to newcomers and caters to every demographic (since this is SO important to everyone, you know, since there are females out there who know how to read comic books too)
The fact is Blade Trinity was a shit product placement for Ipod. Snipes was so pissed at the script that he was contracted to act in he took off to Europe rather than have to do interviews about it and promote the thing. In comparison to the awesome first film and nearly as good second (the first was just amazing) the third is a joke. It's not meh, it's AVP bad. It's a nail in the coffin of a great franchise. Once again your demographic your so hot to talk about of fanboys who want to hump the leg of yet another Jessica (Biel this time) got catered to, rather than the actual fans of the films that came before. The result was a train wreck that even had a cast member of American Pie thrown in for good measure in a totally unneccesary role.
Big EFX does not a good movie make. I'm not defending War of the Worlds...it's been done to death (and the first season of the tv series was good, but then I don't know what they were thinking in the second one...oh and filmed in Canada if I'm not mistaken) I HATED ID4. It was stupid and just a rehash of Wells's book with a budget and LoneStar as president (I nearly pissed myself when he showed up with a honking bunch of Winnebagos, it was surreal) Spielburg and Curise are not enough to make me show up, they have to have a good script and acting. But I have not seen enough to coerce me into going to see something I've seen done well already.
Troll am I? Hmmm... Whatever you say bucko. The fact is I don't even have a basement and I don't slobber, some would say I'm curvy but not fat. You'd have to ask my husband about the dick thing though, but the last time I checked I hadn't grown one. But I'm guessing I have bigger balls than you.
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Feb 08, 2005 7:08:31 PM CST
Anyone who doesn't like Undead is a culturally blind moron
by monkey butler
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Sure I posted twice because I'm a bitter nobody, but a bitter JEALOUS nobody? No sir. By the way, I really hope you have no connexion to either David Goyer or Marvel, because your obnoxious generalizations of fanboys who don't worship at the same altars you do is growing pretty tiresome. And for the record, I didn't "throw a hissyfit," as you so adroitly put it, because you asked me why I didn't like 'Blade: Trinity.' I threw one because you went and answered the question for yourself with an personally offensive load of shit, that's why. I know that "nobodies" having feelings is an abstract concept for you to wrap your head around, but trust me when I say that's the actual reason I bristled at your comments and not fear of David Goyer's supremacy. By the way, I have nothing against the dude as a person (unless you happen to be him, which is unlikely), but I didn't like his movie. God forbid. I don't know whether or not you indeed are just looking for trouble, but I'm not going to explain myself to you anymore. I shouldn't have to be afraid to tell you what I thought of a movie just because I don't make them myself, and quite frankly, your attempts to psychoanalyze me have absolutely no support or basis in reality, they're simply the malicious put-downs of some pseudonymous jerk.
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a culture blind moron, yet i thought
the far superior shawn of the dead
was brilliant, fuckoff twat!! -
Shit, I've been gone for a month, and you're still screeching. Luckily, I found one of my older names, as the powers that be actually banned me from these hallowed chat rooms, and I got tired of using friends' monikers. (No one can tell me why.......has this happened to anyone else recently?) That all aside, See has a habit of raging against people who have a geniune knowledge of (or experience in) the industry.
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are going to eat shit for trashing lucas comeEp.3 time,and if theres any left from that and HHGTTG....I forgot what I was going to say...ah fuk..fuck fantastic four!!!!!!!!
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Feb 08, 2005 8:06:55 PM CST
I've only gotten banned for insulting moriarty's 'career'
by dented helmet
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Feb 08, 2005 8:08:04 PM CST
yeah SeeThroughThis is a tool. and Purgatori makes a good point
by sirbiatchreturns
sorry for going off at you lady. But the comment you made on Jessica Alba sounded just trollish. But i do understand your concern and agree with everything in your post. I thought that you were coming from the point of view that maybe Jessica Biel should be casted in Sue Storm's place. Because some people cant handle the whole 'ghetto demographic' even though they fail to realize that untalented people roam through all genres and demographics.
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Feb 08, 2005 8:08:52 PM CST
You losers shut the phuck up. Just don't see F4 since everyone s
by the founder
I mean what's the point. everyone here bashes the f4, including harry, while he praises that SW EP3 like it's going to be pure gold. The last two prequels were mediocre, and i have no reason to think this one will be any better. I don't honeslty know if the f4 is going to be good but all this bashing to no end is asinine.
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It's been out on dvd for what seems FOREVER, and I cannot believe it hasn't been released in america yet.
I'll tell you this about it. The zombie makeup is pretty decent, but not great, the effects are good but not great, the storyline is pissweak but amusing. The whole film feels like it should be wrapped up an hour into it but keeps running for aaaages after that.
Undead was ok, but the general consensus from people who've seen it is 'Well it was ok, but I dont understand all the hype'. -
Apology accepted. I do realize that there are untalented people everywhere. The fact is I'm tired of seeing them get parts that someone else could do better, simply due to the need to cater to a studio execs idea who hasn't ever read the comic. But I thank you for the apology and the words.
Ancient Lights: The fact is Fantastic Four needs props given to it. It was first, before X-men. If there hadn't been Fantastic Four we would most likely have never seen Hulk, X-men, or Spiderman. They put Stan on the map with Marvel, or at least guarnteed his standing with them, and allowed him the freedom to make the greats that came after. Respect SHOULD be given and a half ass attmept by Marvel Entertainment to make some bucks, like they have been doing, shouldn't be the case. Hell, even Jennifer Garner said she was coerced, much like Snipes, into making Elektra. She herself has admitted it sucked. I could be wrong, and I hope I am, that this movie will not blow. But with lines like "Oh come on, you know that looked cool." (reminds me SO much of Robin's "chicks dig the car" line in Batman and Robin that I shuddered in the theater) and a director who was involved with Barbershop and the steaming pile that was Taxi it's not looking good. -
Its a lot better than the way FX used to look. Back when stop motion was the main deal, people bitched about it. "Awh thats so fake. Look at that, you can TELL its made of clay" Now that theres something better people have to bitch about it. Bitch Bitch Bitch, thats all I'm hearing on this site. Tell ya what. If you can devise a way to make an exploding overpass look much more authentic than it does in that very early trailer, you let me know. If you can't, then go find something else to bitch about, like how much Episode 3 is going to disappoint two generations of film goers this summer. Can't wait til Kong kicks your asses next December.
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CLIT EASTWOODIE is a F*cking hypcrate. He had the chicken ballz to speak at a congressional hearing to try and get OUT OF making Hotels that he owns accessible to people with disabilities. He tries to F*ck the disabled again in his latest celluloid sh*t sandwich by literally pulling the plug. I guess he won't have to retrofit his hot els for one quad boxer...
He sux.
Number ONE it isn't about boxing, it is about Clit Eastwoodie euthanising his own horsetoothed quadriplegic boxer daughter.
Critics Enter Ring Against Eastwood
Feb 3, 4:03 PM EST
The Associated Press
LOS ANGELES - Not everyone is in Clint Eastwood's corner as his acclaimed boxing drama "Million Dollar Baby" heads into the Academy Awards.
(Spoiler alert: The rest of this story could ruin the movie for you.) Some conservative critics and groups representing the disabled say "Million Dollar Baby" is a sucker punch against the notion that people with paralyzing infirmities can lead lives worth living.
The film's harshest detractors say it's little more than propaganda supporting legalization of assisted suicide.
Director and star Eastwood says the characters' choices are rooted in the story and that the movie is not about euthanasia.
"Million Dollar Baby," which is in a neck-and-neck race with the Howard Hughes epic "The Aviator" for best picture, stars Eastwood as old-school boxing trainer Frankie Dunn, who becomes mentor to peppy fighter Maggie Fitzgerald (Hilary Swank).
A father-daughter relationship blossoms between the two as Frankie coaches Maggie through a meteoric rise to champion status in the film's feel-good "Rocky"-like first two acts.
The closing chapter presents a cruel twist, however.
(The next paragraph gives it away.)
An opponent blindsides Maggie, leaving her paralyzed from the neck down. Maggie decides she would rather die, and she asks Frankie to help end her life. After some moral agonizing, Frankie does.
Marcie Roth, executive director of the National Spinal Cord Injury Association, said her group has been working to improve conditions for the disabled since 1948, "yet lo these many years later, many people still think having a spinal-cord injury is a fate worse than death.
"Unfortunately, a message like the one in `Million Dollar Baby' just perpetuates exactly what we work so hard to dispel."
The film earned directing prizes for Eastwood at the Golden Globes and last weekend's Directors Guild of America Awards, positioning him as the front-runner for the same honor at the Oscars Feb. 27. Swank received the Golden Globe for best dramatic actress, and she, Eastwood and co-star Morgan Freeman earned Oscar acting nominations.
Fans of the film disagree that it favors assisted suicide. Chicago Sun-Times critic Roger Ebert ranked "Million Dollar Baby" as his No. 1 film of 2004 even though he disagrees with Frankie's actions.
Maggie's desire to die and Frankie's decision to help were choices consistent with the nature of the characters, Ebert said.
"It's a movie for grown-up, mature audiences in which people do things we don't necessarily agree with," Ebert told The Associated Press. "What kind of movies would there be if we expected everyone in them to do what we think they should do?"
"Million Dollar Baby" also has come under fire from such conservative commentators as Rush Limbaugh, Michael Medved and Debbie Schlussel, who predicted on her Web site that Eastwood's film will triumph at the Oscars "because it's Hollywood's best political propaganda of the year. ... because it supports killing the handicapped, literally putting their lights out."
Eastwood declined an interview request but told The New York Times that the film stuck closely to its source material, a story by F.X. Toole.
"How the character handles it is certainly different than how I might handle it if I were in that position in real life," Eastwood said. "Every story is a `what if.'"
Eastwood's critics say the movie is his latest salvo against the disabled community. In 2000, Eastwood testified before a U.S. House subcommittee asking that the Americans with Disabilities Act be amended to allow businesses such as his hotel in Carmel, Calif., more time to comply.
His testimony came after a disabled woman sued him because his historic inn lacked wheelchair access. A jury sided with Eastwood on all but two minor violations.
While "Million Dollar Baby" has drawn the harshest reaction, many of the same critics are bothered by the Spanish film "The Sea Inside," starring Javier Bardem as Ramon Sampedro, who fought a 30-year campaign for his right to die after a paralyzing accident. The film is among Oscar nominees for best foreign-language picture.
Both movies draw on stereotypes that disabled people cannot lead worthwhile lives, said Stephen Drake, a researcher for Chicago-based Not Dead Yet, a group that has held protests at theaters showing "Million Dollar Baby."
"I really can't imagine this kind of awards attention for somebody who put out a film that relies on the worst stereotypes the audience holds about homosexuality," Drake said.
The high profile of Oscar contenders often brings out the critics.
"A Beautiful Mind," the 2001 best-picture winner, drew complaints for omitting unflattering aspects about the life of mathematician John Forbes Nash. Similar gripes were aimed at 2000's "The Hurricane," which earned a best-actor nomination for Denzel Washington, who played boxer Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, imprisoned nearly 20 years for three murders before the convictions were overturned.
Tobacco companies criticized the whistle-blower drama "The Insider," a 1999 best-picture nominee, saying the film took liberties to place their industry in a harsher light. "60 Minutes" correspondent Mike Wallace also said "The Insider" painted an unfair picture of how he and the news show handled a confrontation with the tobacco industry.
"The Academy Awards are a huge platform for all kinds of people with all kinds of agendas, some worthy and some not so worthy," said Peter Rainer, contributing editor for New York magazine and past president of the National Society of Film Critics, which picked "Million Dollar Baby" as best film of 2004.
"It's an irresistible force for people to try to piggyback on to, to try to walk in that spotlight and get something out of it for themselves," added Rainer, who said he liked "Million Dollar Baby" but that it was not one of his top film choices of last year.
Copyright 2005 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.Critics Enter Ring Against Eastwood
Feb 3, 4:03 PM EST
The Associated Press
LOS ANGELES - Not everyone is in Clint Eastwood's corner as his acclaimed boxing drama "Million Dollar Baby" heads into the Academy Awards.
(Spoiler alert: The rest of this story could ruin the movie for you.) Some conservative critics and groups representing the disabled say "Million Dollar Baby" is a sucker punch against the notion that people with paralyzing infirmities can lead lives worth living.
The film's harshest detractors say it's little more than propaganda supporting legalization of assisted suicide.
Director and star Eastwood says the characters' choices are rooted in the story and that the movie is not about euthanasia.
"Million Dollar Baby," which is in a neck-and-neck race with the Howard Hughes epic "The Aviator" for best picture, stars Eastwood as old-school boxing trainer Frankie Dunn, who becomes mentor to peppy fighter Maggie Fitzgerald (Hilary Swank).
A father-daughter relationship blossoms between the two as Frankie coaches Maggie through a meteoric rise to champion status in the film's feel-good "Rocky"-like first two acts.
The closing chapter presents a cruel twist, however.
(The next paragraph gives it away.)
An opponent blindsides Maggie, leaving her paralyzed from the neck down. Maggie decides she would rather die, and she asks Frankie to help end her life. After some moral agonizing, Frankie does.
Marcie Roth, executive director of the National Spinal Cord Injury Association, said her group has been working to improve conditions for the disabled since 1948, "yet lo these many years later, many people still think having a spinal-cord injury is a fate worse than death.
"Unfortunately, a message like the one in `Million Dollar Baby' just perpetuates exactly what we work so hard to dispel."
The film earned directing prizes for Eastwood at the Golden Globes and last weekend's Directors Guild of America Awards, positioning him as the front-runner for the same honor at the Oscars Feb. 27. Swank received the Golden Globe for best dramatic actress, and she, Eastwood and co-star Morgan Freeman earned Oscar acting nominations.
Fans of the film disagree that it favors assisted suicide. Chicago Sun-Times critic Roger Ebert ranked "Million Dollar Baby" as his No. 1 film of 2004 even though he disagrees with Frankie's actions.
Maggie's desire to die and Frankie's decision to help were choices consistent with the nature of the characters, Ebert said.
"It's a movie for grown-up, mature audiences in which people do things we don't necessarily agree with," Ebert told The Associated Press. "What kind of movies would there be if we expected everyone in them to do what we think they should do?"
"Million Dollar Baby" also has come under fire from such conservative commentators as Rush Limbaugh, Michael Medved and Debbie Schlussel, who predicted on her Web site that Eastwood's film will triumph at the Oscars "because it's Hollywood's best political propaganda of the year. ... because it supports killing the handicapped, literally putting their lights out."
Eastwood declined an interview request but told The New York Times that the film stuck closely to its source material, a story by F.X. Toole.
"How the character handles it is certainly different than how I might handle it if I were in that position in real life," Eastwood said. "Every story is a `what if.'"
Eastwood's critics say the movie is his latest salvo against the disabled community. In 2000, Eastwood testified before a U.S. House subcommittee asking that the Americans with Disabilities Act be amended to allow businesses such as his hotel in Carmel, Calif., more time to comply.
His testimony came after a disabled woman sued him because his historic inn lacked wheelchair access. A jury sided with Eastwood on all but two minor violations.
While "Million Dollar Baby" has drawn the harshest reaction, many of the same critics are bothered by the Spanish film "The Sea Inside," starring Javier Bardem as Ramon Sampedro, who fought a 30-year campaign for his right to die after a paralyzing accident. The film is among Oscar nominees for best foreign-language picture.
Both movies draw on stereotypes that disabled people cannot lead worthwhile lives, said Stephen Drake, a researcher for Chicago-based Not Dead Yet, a group that has held protests at theaters showing "Million Dollar Baby."
"I really can't imagine this kind of awards attention for somebody who put out a film that relies on the worst stereotypes the audience holds about homosexuality," Drake said.
The high profile of Oscar contenders often brings out the critics.
"A Beautiful Mind," the 2001 best-picture winner, drew complaints for omitting unflattering aspects about the life of mathematician John Forbes Nash. Similar gripes were aimed at 2000's "The Hurricane," which earned a best-actor nomination for Denzel Washington, who played boxer Rubin "Hurricane" Carter, imprisoned nearly 20 years for three murders before the convictions were overturned.
Tobacco companies criticized the whistle-blower drama "The Insider," a 1999 best-picture nominee, saying the film took liberties to place their industry in a harsher light. "60 Minutes" correspondent Mike Wallace also said "The Insider" painted an unfair picture of how he and the news show handled a confrontation with the tobacco industry.
"The Academy Awards are a huge platform for all kinds of people with all kinds of agendas, some worthy and some not so worthy," said Peter Rainer, contributing editor for New York magazine and past president of the National Society of Film Critics, which picked "Million Dollar Baby" as best film of 2004.
"It's an irresistible force for people to try to piggyback on to, to try to walk in that spotlight and get something out of it for themselves," added Rainer, who said he liked "Million Dollar Baby" but that it was not one of his top film choices of last year.
Copyright 2005 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. -
This is why I keep coming back to AICN. Fuckin' nerds, man, arguing over nerdy movies, jealous over people with far more satisfying lives and careers. WoW will suck! FF will suck! H2G2xY69 will rule! This talkbacker is mean to me! Sigh...
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This is a Fantastic Four talkback you dumb troll shit. Clint Eastwood is man at his most man. Who gives a shit about congressional hearings about why your mother is a whore?
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Feb 08, 2005 10:28:26 PM CST
Purgatori, exactly what did you expect Johnny Storm to say?
by terry_1978
That line is exactly something the kid would say, that's his personality.
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I mean, anyone with half a brain could think "hey fellas, let
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Hey, don't look at me, I voted for the other guy (in this case Rachel McAdams).
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I think the same thing happened to me. But, HECK, we all can't hang around movie premieres, handing out T-shirts.
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Feb 09, 2005 5:19:37 AM CST
Joy, Disgust, Love, Sadness, Hatred, Regret, Praise, Hope, Torme
by keyser soze
Yep. This is an AICN talkback. *breathes in, breathes out*... I missed you guys... *sniff* --- Keyser S
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you've obviously picked up on the oft-used TB phrase "meh", but you have apparently missed the fact that when people refer to "breakdancing" in a movie, they are talking about excessive use of wire/cgi/bullet time effects to create the apperance of characters performing amazing physical feats. If done well nobody has a problem with it (eg The Matrix). The phrase was first coined when LOTR came out, to describe the fight between Gandalf and Saruman in the first movie. Now I've read your posts before, so I know you're a stubborn young man who can't understand when he's just plain wrong, but I'll give you some advice anyway: you need to spend some more time just reading articles and TBs before you can justifiably come on AICN and go around calling people "trolls". This is because you, sir, are the worst troll that this site has seen in a loooooooong time.
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They suddenly hate Alias. Anything that's Family Guy. Desperate Housewives is a turkey on here. Blade films, Matrix Sequels, The Hulk, and (Insert TV or Movie title here that receives biased blind hatred) You know what, I take back anything I have ever said about a pre-release film, unless it's about a sequel to a film I have already seen. F4 may in fact prove everyone wrong. I know TCM, Dawn of the Dead, Spiderman and Xmen did. (Eventhough Im not a huge fan of the last two films listed.) And with regards to J Alba. She's a TV actress, and not a really good one at that. But whatever, she may prove us suckers wrong. And we a suckers because we will still go see F4.
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Jack Kirby drew. Stan Lee wrote. But you have a point.
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That's where she breakdances. I'm guessing that was Purgatori's very simplistic point.
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i was referring to Honey. do yourself a favor and don't randomly flame against people who don't acknowledge your lame existence.
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...to his "random" flame (which actually seemed pretty deliberate when I read it), haven't you acknowledged evergreen's existence, Biatch, and thus removed yourself from the category of talkbackers you would prefer he not flame? Truly you have a dizzying intellect! Methinks from now on I shall call you "The Human Torch" since, no matter what you type, it always reads: "Flame on!" I respect the hell out of Mr. Profit's post about letting a movie come out before condemning it. Based on what we know and have seen so far, FF only seems sillier in concept than a few of the many recent comic book movies released, and several of those have turned out to be quite good. It's entirely possible that this movie won't suck (or that it will suck but will also have a forgiveness inducing naked Invisible Girl shower scene), but I'm guessing some on here will never know because they really just popped in to talk/type shit when they couldn't really give one about the characters anyway.
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Feb 09, 2005 4:14:10 PM CST
I can't agree CGI will always be around. Many are sick of it alr
by thecat
...thanks to the horrible 'special effects' in high-profile films like Star Wars 2 and Spidey 2 especially. Many fans have been making noise about how fake the FX look, and even critics are finally saying in their reviews how bad it all looks. How none of the creatures/machines ever seem to have any actual weight, how it doesn't jell with whatever is really "real" on screen, and all that. The Spiderman films are great pieces of filmmaking, except for the horrid FX. Really, who can honestly say they thought it looked anything close to real? Did "The Hulk" look real in any way, shape or form? C'mon. Same with the new Star Wars films (especially 2), that 'I Robot' craparama, and so much more - what can I say, CGI just is too fake for me. I'll be at the FF opening day because they've been my fave comic for decades, but whether or not you use a pencil and paper, or use a computer and mouse - they are drawings, animation, cartoons.
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...I still think FF will appeal more to today's teenage audience.
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If nothing, you are extremely predictable. Do you rant and rave for a living? Do you ACTUALLY think anyone in here specifically discusses their careers? Your level of "debate" is accusatory, confrontational, ignorant and illogical. Yes, we all learn to ignore you eventually, but your persistent anger never ceases to amaze. But, then again, a sense of entitlement is SO easy to obtain in a venue such as this. May I ask how old you are?
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Feb 09, 2005 6:06:49 PM CST
Re: I can't agree CGI will always be around. Many are sick of it
by fugazi32
I think in alot of ways, it's not how real it LOOKS but how real it FEELS...there's always a sense of magic about the old Harryhausen monsters.
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Apparently, you don't know what "flaming" is, either. I was giving you some advice, you could take it or leave it. But it wasn't flaming. Referring to someone's very existence as "lame" - -that's flaming, pal. It's also trolling - the two things which seem to be your raison d'etre. It neverceases to amaze me how unintelligent some people are. Aren't you even a tiny bit embarrassed about the fact that everybody knows that half of what you say is an out and out lie? I mean, not being able to lie convincingly face to face is one thing, but not being able to lie convincingly in text form? I pity you, little white child.
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