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THE LONGEST YARD trailer is received and makes a dash for the end zone!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a look at the first trailer for THE LONGEST YARD, the remake of the classic Cons Vs Guards football spectacular starring one sweaty man-god at the top of his game.
You'd never think Adam Sandler could step into Burt Reynold's snakeskins, and you're probably right, but I for one think this looks like it MIGHT be a real fun time. Even if they have the most obvious casting in the world (Chris Rock as the wise-crackin' black sidekick and James Cromwell as the Warden), I'm still really interested in seeing this cast work together... plus the convicts look nice and pissed, especially the ringer... He looks like he could break me in half with a brief glance, and I'm very fat, so that's saying something! Anyway, take a gander at the trailer!!!
CLICK IT HERE FOR RETIRED SWEATY MAN GODS AND BIG SCARY CONVICT PEOPLE!!!
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The UK version was an insult already. 1st, not that it matters.
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This trailer is a fan made fake. Happy Christmas everyone!!
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go chargers. superbowl bound.
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but A Brittish remake, Hollywood could not stand idly by and let the Brittish one up them on remakes!!!
P.S. Chargers are gonna get an asswhoppin this weekend in Indy! -
Jesus, you'd think the staff around here was a bunch of film geeks, typing on computers all day who'd never seen a foot....ball.......ga.....oh, right. Nevermind.
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Dec 22, 2004 8:35:19 AM CST
Why not make this with The Rock instead of Sandler? Or anybody
by barry egan
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The original film was released in the UK as "The Mean Machine" (the word yard doesn't mean the same in the UK so the pun of the title didn't work). When it was remade and set in a British prison they kept the original UK title. Also, Sandler is no Reynolds. In the original the character was cynical to start with but gradually learns that this is more than just a match to his fellow inmates and changes. Reynolds also had the charm to convince you that these men might just follow him even though the odds were stacked against them. It also had a dark edge (one inmate burns to death in his cell for goodness sake!). Sandler looks as though he will just play it as his normal goofey self turning it into another vacuous teen comedy.
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Looks like fun to me. I might go see THIS sandler movie.
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Chargers suck!!!
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Dec 22, 2004 9:53:27 AM CST
How do we know that AICN staffers are flabby and shiftless dorks
by devil0509
They spell end zone as "inzone." It's called the end zone people - the zone at the end of the football field. And, just to help you out for the upcoming NFL playoffs, a few pointers. Getting the ball into the end zone is called a touchdown. After the touchdown, the kick is called the point after or extra point. If you don't quite get the ball to the end zone, but you get kind of close, you can try to kick a field goal. Otherwise, you may have to punt. However, if you drop the ball, you've just committed a fumble, and the other team might recover. Or, if you throw the ball and the other team catches it, it's called an interception. The row of hot babes next to the field are the cheerleaders, but you will never, ever have to know anything about them. Oh, and if you see fans throwing ice balls at Santa Clause, you know you're in Philly. Merry fucking Christmas, have a cheesesteak.
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looks JUST like mean machine. ill admit to not having seen the original, just the vinnie jones remake, which i thought was actually pretty funny. cant wait to see ol stone cold and goldberg in action!
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Dec 22, 2004 11:02:00 AM CST
At first I was ready to take a big crap on this like I am on the
by lost skeleton
the movie doesn't look that bad. It takes itself serious enough with the right blend of humor. Chris Rock is my boy but he's box office posion...we will see.
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and even I caught the "inzone" mistake. Yeah, I admit, I never had to worry about the cheerleaders to much, but I went to my 10 year high school reunion, and I was in better shape than most of the former jocks, life is good sometimes.
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Hello all, James Brown here, now I saw this here movie the first time, I was in Motown, uthawise known as Detroit Skank City, and firstly you should know I was loaded and this fine ass woman Rena was pleasuring my dipstick, but even so I thought that movie was hi-larious, I mean it was fuckin' funnier than dat midget Punky Brewster who's always getting into trouble (before she gots the big boobies, that is). But so anyways, I see this and think it could be funny, but I have a few suggestions. Firstly, and this is most important, where are all the real brothas, this movie had too many whiteys, and I know, cause I spend much of my home time in the company of these here good men, that prison ain't nuthin but a home for brothas so da man can keep them off the street. I saw this thing and I said, damn there ain't nevah that many whitey's in prison, even in Utah (which I also visited when I decided that for me, the seats at the Mormon tabahnakedle is as good a place as any to poop up, I mean when its cold out yo ass ain't gonna keep that brown python in fer long, so you's gots to go somewhere). So yeah, too many whitey's in this here thing, and then second, and finally cause Im gettin' tired of writing this nonsense, it look like these boys are more interested in playing ball than playing with eachothas balls, and that also just aint so. I nevah met so many goddamn queers (who say they ain't queer) in all my goddamn life, in the house they are everywhere. Ya got queers doin it in the shower, in the workout room, in the laundry, I think the wardens and the guards are all queer too and like to watch this big house full of pansies play games like Donkey Punch and Pop Goes da Weasel jus so they can googly eye the funtimes. So that's my story, prison is not fun but it is my home, because they say you can't drink Malt Liquer for breakfast and dinner, well I am gonna anyway and this is the price I pay, goddammit. Happy Kwanza you piece uh shits!
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Dec 22, 2004 11:21:14 AM CST
Qunit's spelling of "inzone" explains why sports films are routi
by barry egan
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Dec 22, 2004 11:24:18 AM CST
And my misspelling of Qunit's name explains why I work at Wal Ma
by barry egan
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I'm not sure that's why it was renamed over here in Britain. Everyone over the age of about 20 knows a yard is 3 feet, and they certainly did when that flick was first released. I think it's more just a case that most Brits don't know a lot about the game (or didn't at that time) and that it involves gaining 10 yards and so on. Mind you, even a Brit like me knows it's called an endzone for goodness sake.
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Burt Mother fuckin Reynolds is in this remake too.....he's the man. He's always been the man ,,Serious movies...see Deliverance,funny as hell movie,see Smokey and the Bandit or my all time favorite Burt Reynolds charector the Senator or congressman from StripTease .That shit is to funy for words.On top of all that he's fucked a young Sally Fields and Loni Anderson.
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Glad to see Reynolds in as the Nate Scarboro role. Could be interesting but geez, that scene asking the big guy to play came off piss poor compared to the original. And it's interesting to note the difference in how and why. First off Chris Rock ruins the scene. Just too grin-ny (how the fuck could Rock come off so shitty?) and breaks the tone. The set-up and delivery of the lines just don't have the power nor timing of the original film. They seem to have combined Robert Tessier's Shokner character with Kiel's Samson. The key to making the original moment play darkly funny (and I mean sadistically so) was just in showing Tessier's ex-Special Forces, broken-nose, shave-headed (in a time when only bad-asses did that) killer-mean face stoically refuse (and it was done in strong light to catch every detail) the offer until he hears they play the guards and then that "I'm going to fuck someone up!" badass smile plays across that face sitting upon that wide horse neck and says, "Oh, yeah. I'm in." Aldrich knew how to sell character with expression and a person's particular brand of humanity (or lack thereof), the new film's director goes for the MTV crap of painting the background rather than the person. On a final note, actor Tessier would have been the ultimate Crusher Creel (from THE MIGHTY THOR comic books). It was like Jack Kirby created the guy to play the part!
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Dec 22, 2004 1:23:13 PM CST
Looks like a good remake and so does the new "PINK PANTER" movie
by screenplaywriter
Except you cannot understand a word Martin is saying in his French accent and Jean Reno looks stupid without his mustache, but he and Kline combined should be a good, amusing mix. This remake on the other hand looks like it'll be enjoyable. You have Sandler who has done this football formula movie before, you have Chris Rock and his "black people vs. white people" stick, and then you have the Hugh Hefner of the Film World Mr. Burt Reynolds. It'll be cool to see like Quint says what they can bring to this.
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Dec 22, 2004 2:56:35 PM CST
yeah, jackbull the chargers suck because they only won the afc w
by bruinboy
it must hurt to be a raider fan.
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E-A-G-L-E-S
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it's guaranteed.
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HAHAHAHA YOU MADE A STUPID SPELLING MISTAKE!!! HAHAHAHAHA YOU FUCKING IDIOTS I HOPE YOU ALL ROT YOU STUPID FUCKS!!! HAHAHAHAA BUNCHA KNOW-NOTHING SHITHEADS SPELLING IT INZONE!!! HAHAHAHA!!! I AM SO FUCKING SUPERIOR IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!!!
Wow... that's the talkbacks for you... even when it's about football: different subject, same jackassery... -
Personally the original didn't do it for me anyway, so I doubt this updated version will either. -
Dec 22, 2004 10:21:44 PM CST
Yes, sir. When I think of the word athlete I always think of San
by mel garga
I work at a hotel in the same city where our buddy Adam's mom lives. She comes into our restaurant to eat every once in a while. Unless you get her car door you inevitably hear some whiny old windbag with that horrid New York accent say, "Get Mrs. Sandler's door first." They practically throw flowers at her feet. I don't think they realize that they are kissing the ass of a woman whose son's fame is based partly on the words, "Ow, fuck me in the goat ass."
We get all kinds of major celebs down here in S. Florida. Major, major megastars currently filming sappy Lifetime movie down here include the likes of Dyan Cannon (shitty tipper, obnoxious chihuahuas, Mexican slave girl assistant to boss around), Brenda Vaccarro (formerly well-known costar of Midnight Cowboy, presently expanding laterally at the rate of 3 inches a week and married to quite possibly the gayest French man I have ever seen. Also owns annoying dog. The most interesting thing I want to talk to her about is not her sex scene with Joe Buck aka Jon Voight, not her most well-known line to Ratso when he falls down the stairs, not her guest spots on Friends or Ally McBeal. No people, I want to talk to her about her voice work on Transformers the movie), Joe Bologna (coincidentally played Sandler's dad in Big Daddy, and married to completely intolerable wife/actress who played Fran Drescher's mom on the Nanny), Len Cariou (character actor last seen in Secret Window and upcoming Onion movie, and star of the Woman in White with Lukas Haas that scared the shit out of me when I was little), we also have Jennifer Beals' love interest in Flashdance whose name I forgot, and best of all, Faith Prince. That's right, THE Faith Prince. The fabulous costar of Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon. She was recently on a singing tour down here. I built up my nerve and asked her about that one and when she checked out of the hotel she said, "Thanks for watching The Last Dragon." She actually said thanks for watching The Last Dragon. Talk about something I thought I'd never hear in my lifetime. Alex Winter was in a few months and wore the look of a man eagerly awaiting the call to begin the third installment of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. He also stiffed us and we kept his shitty Mustang right near the door. Anyway, that's the news. And Chris Rock is box office poison. -
When his father was dying at Mass General Hospital, Sandler was constantly at the hospital. And despite such a stressful situation Sandler always went out of his way to visit the sick kids and their parents in the intensive care unit. I know this because my little nephew was in intensive care at the time and was very close to dying. Sandler wandered down in the middle of the night and sat with my brother and sister-in-law as they kept vigil over my nephew. Sandler made them laugh and gave them a lot of comfort. And this is all while Sandler was dealing with his father's illness. Sandler took photos with my nephew and with all the children in the ward. My nephew mad a full recovery and my family will always be grateful to Adam Sandler for being such a great guy.
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go up in flames like a Christmas tree in a tenement like in the original?
They got Burt Reynolds, they should have gotten Eddie Albert (who is still alive ) as Pops. -
Steven Soderbergh boycotted Paramount because of their practices , and now after "Alfie" and "The Stepford Wives" and "The Manchurian Candidate," and other remakes, she's out the door. But this is still sitting around. Maybe it'll make money, but jeez, c'mon, Adam Sandler as the suave ladykilling QB? They cast him because he was a name star right now, and the movie looks fine except for him. Notice how much play Chris Rock and the wrestlers and even Burt friggin Reynolds from the original gets in the trailer -- they know Sandler just aint' right. Oh, well, this will all be over soon.
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Well, we just had a remake of his "Flight of the Phoenix" crash and burn, but "The Longest Yard" remake has hotter stars in a more fun (if brutal) story. They already remade "Kiss Me Deadly" for movies and "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" for TV. What's next? A new "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte?" with meat cleaver murders down South? A remake of his all-time champ hit, "The Dirty Dozen?" (replace tough guys Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, and Jim Brown with Matt Damon, Ed Norton, and Leo DiCaprio) Hell, Aldrich's final film about lady wrestlers, "All the Marbles" might be worth it after this "Million Dollar Baby" excitement (except there's that little problem about wrestling being fake.)
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It's what I thought it would be - a jokey remake of the original. Sandler should have left it alone.
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