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Take An Everlasting Tab Of LSD and Watch The New CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY Trailer! Trippy!
Hey folks, Harry here... just got this. The trailer is on 99 flavors of crack without a square of Charmin to wipe. It's mondo bizarro - and it scares me. Mommy, I wanna go home! Johnny Depp looks... well... he looks... He looks like he's coming for your soul. And he knows it is delicious! And that dentist. Man, you walk into a dentist office and see that man with tooth tools... RUN! The film looks absolutely unhinged, as a Wonka film should. And that song... it is playing and replaying in my mind like a damnedable jingle of mouseketeer sirens luring me to my death. BEWARE! This is some SCARY Stuff. Dahl might have been quite proud of this version of CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY...
Click For The Exceptionally Bizzare!
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...now that was just freaky.
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looks cool, i'll go see it.
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...I may like this. I cannot believe that you would actually want to remake it, but this could work.
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Tim Burton has lost his touch. remakes and badly realized dreams are all this man has left. It's over and no amount of pre-manufactured "crazy" is going to bring it back. I'll pass.
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Dec 09, 2004 7:36:58 PM CST
In some secens he looks like Eve Ensler that feminist skank
by sexybeast
In some scenes he looks pretty cool like from a distance. -
If this trailer was supposed to weird me out, mission accomplished fags....:\
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Aside from "Big Fish" I absolutely hate Tim Burton's movies, especially "Batman" and that Christmas thing he did. However, if Wonka is anywhere close to the tone of this trailer then we have a potential classic in the making. I'll give it a chance come July.
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So, when Charlie Bucket stands at the door of the factory, does Willy say,"Get In"?
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His films are tireing. I always feel like a kid who ate too much candy after his films. There is nothing he has done that I can say I really liked, nothing that had any emotional impact, nothing that lingered in the imagination, just crappy plastic sets and truly awful story-telling. The original Willie Wonka had el cheapo sets, unknowns, but a marvelous script and truly inspired acting. Deep does weird and nothing much else. I am sure the trailors will get all you geeks out to the theater, giving him the $$ to do this crap all over again. Stop wasting your folks money and lets get this guy back where he really belongs: In the Art/Production dept and AWAY from a camera and actors.
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He looks like cousin to Edna Mode from the Incredibles. What's with the Austin Powers overbite?
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He played Keith Richards in PIRATES. Who's he doing here, Freddie Mercury?
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Depp is solid and i respect Burton (Batman Returns is still my favorite superhero movie ever) but it looked really bizarre. and that music made me want to rip my ears off. why not make new movies instead of remaking old ones which are universally thought to be just fine the way they were?
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Is anyone else having trouble with yahoo today? Can't view the damn teaser... or check my email!
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I think the jury's still out on this one, but for now, I won't be buying a golden ticket. This looks like another director trying to be dark for the sake of being dark Cuaron. I love Tim Burton and Depp has been outstanding the past few years but this just doesn't look right.
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Dec 09, 2004 8:57:20 PM CST
People are going to be arguing this from now until it's release,
by terry_1978
Dahl despised the first version of the movie, and I think this is closer to what he envisioned. I don't even use the first movie in the same sentence as the original book.
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this certainly looks terrible. depp mugging for two hours, yet again. yay! will he use his hunter thompson/ed wood voice, i wonder?
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I was looking for the Oompa Loompas in that trailer and didn't notice them cause I
was hoping that they wouldn't change that much. For me that was the best part of the movie. So like everytime a kid gets in trouble in this movie we are gonna get the mini Beatles to sing the lessons? OMG! I
dunno if I could handle that. I could like this movie but I need to see another trailer
before I can make up my mind. -
Bizarrely eye-piercing
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eeeeeeeeeeeehhhmuuuuuuuhm, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhmmmmmmmmm...okay, that was just...wow.
Well, what the heck, it's cool.
Looks kinda cheap though (but perhaps that's the intention).
Aphextwin -
everybody will like it too, except of course visitors to aint it cool news :P
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I'm usually not one to watch trailers over and over again, but I found myself replaying this about ten times, until the catchy theme music was buried in my brain and can only be extracted with cheap booze and sedatives. Depp looks bizarre and vaguely asexual in this...can't wait.
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Looks quite strange, but I'll wait till we get a full trailer without that creepy "Willie Wonka Willie Wonka . . ." in the background. I hope that's not what the Oopma-Loompas sound like or I'll have nightmares.
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It is a midget at the very least. If that is an Oompa Loompa, then this is a weird weird weird freaking movie... Like a 60's retro willy wonka... Every movie sense I have is telling me that this will be very very bad.
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I watched that like 10 times in a row! That was one of the most beautifully perfect trailers I have ever seen. Depp is god.
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I think that the reason to see this movie will be Depp's acting, like alot of his past movies. The most impressive, interesting, and fun thing in this trailer is Depp.. "lets boogy!", his creepy looks and smiles, his "dancing" around... I'll see it for Depp because he rocks.
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Hopefully this is the nail in the coffin of the very talented Tim Burton, who wastes his considerable talent on shallow crap. Never thought I'd say this about Johnny Depp but his performance looks absolute phoned-in and weak, as does the rest of the movie. Not that anyone can top Gene Wilder but I would have loved to see what Christopher Walken would have done in the role.
The most pointless remake ever. -
Anyone catch that at the end. and holy crap i knew it would be strange but that was something else
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They have finally made my movie. This looks like it was handcrafted to my specific tastes. I can't wait. Oh what a piece of genius. OH FUCK YEEEEAAAAAAHHHAAHAAAA!!
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Dec 09, 2004 9:50:09 PM CST
Well, it's certainly something.....? *Raises eyebow*
by screenplaywriter
Not sure what to really make of this movie. It looks creepy, it's brightened with colors, but whether this remains faithfully to the book or not I still will always be a fan of the Gene Wilder version just because of Gene's heart and it was, what it was, a classic. This maybe better, it may not be, who's to say right now, but I'll give it a chance mainly because of Tim Burton's unique look and because of Johnny Depp and Christopher Lee two of our top actors of all time.
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I wounder if thats a Vermiscious Knid Wonkas hitting in the Jungle,Probaly.
Man this flick looks Demented.Awesome!!!!!! -
yeah there's an oompa loomp playing keyboards, and a sixies-style oompa loompa band and an oompa loompa smashing its guitar, dressed like the dude from the darkness. this is a compelling trailer, really weird.
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Johnny Depp isn't fit to wear them. This doesn't look like it adds anything to the classic. Maybe I'll just watch the original.
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Dec 09, 2004 10:04:04 PM CST
I thought they got Johnny Depp to play Wonka, NOT Davey Jones fr
by murray-clack
When parents notice this movie is appealing to all the Goth and Art House freaks, they'll keep theirs kids away from this thing.
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Dec 09, 2004 10:15:35 PM CST
Wonka is supposed to be an old man. This shit is even LESS like
by wonkabar
Dahl thought Wilder was too young, and too dark. He didn't like the oompa loompas or the musical numbers. So what is Burton doing diferently? You know Planet of the Apes was based on a book too, and guess what...Burton STILL did a remake. Besides, Wonka was like a 50 page childrens book, it's not like it needed to be "done justice" anyway. THIS IS A REMAKE! Just like Sleepy Hollow, and just like Planet of the Apes, this is nothing new and it will suck just as hard, I would put fucking money on it sucking before I give it to the box office for another Burton turkey. You know I'm right.
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Christopher Walken should have been Wonka, yo...
I'm still gonna peep it. -
Some of the sets look kind of rinky-dink and/or overt, especially the first room that has the river of chocolate. Johnny Depp kind of looks like he is overdoing it. Still, it'll be great to see the story through another person's eyes. Can't get over how Tim Burton called the original "badly in need of a remake." But I will still carry a torch for him considering how much love he showed the "Batman" universe (rocket powered penguins included). The only other question is how close and whether or not Michael Jackson sees anything of himself in the character. He'll probably try to rent out a whole theater to see it like he did the first "Matrix" flick.
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That first set with the chocolate river reminds me of Marilyn Manson's music video for "Dopehat" just brighter colors. Still interested in seeing this though.
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Tim Burton is awesome
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Didn't acually check it out on my last post, after watching I just had to express my contempt. all my worst fears have just been confirmed and I have absolutely no doubt that this a hard-core dick. As I said before, this another shitty remake. Don't even give me some bullshit about this being closer to Dahl's "vision". This is everthing Dahl hated about the the first film times ten and minus the charm. I seriously doubt Dahl would have approved of wonka as some homo-freak-marilin manson LSD travisty. Depp looks so fucking lame it made me cringe. This movie will eat shit in a big way, COUNT ON IT! Go ahead and waste your ten bux suckers!
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Dec 09, 2004 11:08:46 PM CST
Holy Shit, I can't describe the feeling i'm feeling but I know I
by 007-11
I'll never chew gum again
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Having just re-read the book a few months back, I would encourage the "it's too dark" crowd to do the same. The book is streaked with shockingly dark passages, including the slow near-starvation of the Bucket family, and the Loompas singing a gleeful song in which Augustus Gloop is boiled, sliced, wrapped, and EATEN in fudge form. Whatever Dahl may have *said* about the first film, the printed proof is there for all to see---Dahl's writing, quite frequently, was the very personification of dark humor.
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Dec 09, 2004 11:24:58 PM CST
Wow, how freakin' trippy! And funky and dark and, dare I say, r
by scienceman
Stupid Charlie and his stupid mudbutt factory. Am I the only one who doesn't give a rip about this movie? Book was stupid. Worst Gene Wilder movie ever. Even worse than Blazing Saddles. Depp should play Lara Croft in the next Tomb Raider flick.
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Good fucking God, Depp looks like Michael Jackson! Is that an intentional effect to make Wonka creepier, or just shortsightedness? I'm sorry, but it doesn't look like it's going to be worth much of anything. Burton is overdoing the styling something horrid. And the music was horrendous. I think I'll miss this one.
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Dec 09, 2004 11:38:31 PM CST
Oh yeah, and my first thought when I saw Depp as Wonka was "Good
by durendal
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Look you ignorant fuckwits, how is it that Depp looks like he phoned in his performance? It was a fucking teaser for fuck's sake! Any who says that he looks like he's phoning in the performance is obviously in need of a hug. Or a bat to crack your fucking skulls. Give the movie a chance! Sure, I'll admit, Planet of the Apes was just pure ass, but at least Burton has guts to bring us a great film like Big Fish and then do a complete 180 and give us what will likely be one of the most dementedly fun movies. I hope it is a hit. One to prove all you naysaying asshats wrong, and two, so that we can finally see the sequel based on the sequel book "Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator." Or the Twits. Or The BFG ( The Big Friendly Giant not Big Fucking Geek) any of these to be directed by Burton would be pure bliss. So instead of knocking the man for a minute and a half trailer, at least give it a chance! Stop being fuckholes and just go see the fucking movie!
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Dec 09, 2004 11:50:07 PM CST
i think it's pretty funny that some of you are already saying de
by bearison ford
i'm not necessarily defending him because, unlike some others, I do believe both Depp and Burton are totally capable of fucking up (big fish anyone? ninth gate anyone?). I dunno, if anything, this teaser does exactly what it's supposed to do: tease. It's pretty hard to form ANY sort of solid opinion on how this flick is gonna be based off this teaser, but I know i'm going to be checking out the trailer, and eventually the film itself. One other thought, anybody else think that Tim Burton has kind of turned into the fanboys IDEA of Tim Burton from like 10 years ago? Remember how everyone would ALWAYS suggest Tim Burton for any sort of off-kiltre movie property? Tim Burton for Scooby Doo! Tim Burton for Willy Wonka! Tim Burton for Logan's Run! Well it looks like the guy has officially turned into that. Don't know if that's a good thing or not, although bottom line, I wish he would start developing his own properties again like he was early in his career. The Corpse Bride looks promising, but howzabout another Ed Scissorhands or Ed Wood, something that he truly has a passion for? Also, whoever said the Wonka music is full-on Halloween 3 hit the nail right on the fucking head. 8 More days till Halloween Halloween Halloween, 8 more days till Halloween SILVER SHAMROCK! ... Yep, already "scaring the snozzberries" out of me, as someone else put it, heh.
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Depp too. Everything Burton does LOOKS phenomenal...but never has weight. Depp LOOKS cool and charismatic as usual, but he's vapid and vain. He's no better than half a million other actors out there yet people WORSHIP THIS GUY! Im damn curious , because I root for films like this. I'd like to hope Burtons' not gonna butcher a classic. History tells us otherwise.
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Dec 09, 2004 11:54:13 PM CST
I saw the world's oldest Goth transsexual, beardless, wearing a
by salvatoregravano
He delivered a line about chewing gum with all the emotion and sincerity of Edward Norton in Bret Rat's "Red Dragon" or Denise Richards in... anywhere.
I suppose that is Burton's idea of Dahl's "extraordinary little man".
Television indeed kills imagination, Burton. Have you even bothered to read the book(s)?
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That is definitely a knid in the jungle machete shot. It's from the flashback to when Wonka visits the Oompa Loompas in their home country. This is good, folks.
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Dec 10, 2004 12:14:30 AM CST
Oh, and apparently, the Knids have SCRAM!-med out the eyes of so
by salvatoregravano
...since the jungle critter is a painfully obvious (and lame) mosquito:
http://img84.exs.cx/img84/5569/deppisapieceofwood.jpg
(What the hell would the Knids be doing in an Earth jungle, anyway? Have certain individuals even read the "Elevator"?)
Anyway, there is no argument that the band is stolen from the Beatles... or Spinal Tap's Flower Period.
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Dec 10, 2004 12:16:00 AM CST
ScienceMan I take it you never cared for the book . . .
by harrisonsdad
Whew, for a moment there I thought you were holding back on us and . . . wait a second . . . did you say something to the effect of "worse than Blazing Saddles"????? There's actually people in this world who do not like Blazing Saddles???? That's just not right. Surely there is something wrong with your sense of humor. Perhaps you should see a specialist about maybe getting a sense of humor transplant. And if they can't find a matching donor, then maybe a humor regimine of laugh shots and grin mints. Who in their right mind wouldn't like Blazing Saddles? Are you daft?
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That was...really fast. And you guys who are already blasting this...you must be really psychic. This was a TEASER! ARGH!
Johnny appears to be channelng a bit of the Ed Wood for this one. And I think there is a bit o nod to Michael Jackson there. That's so Tim Burton. -
Wow. What a wild ride. I am glad this is a true teaser--because I want tosee more.
That song is still in my head. Twisted, freaky. The visuals look breathtaking.
I loved the orginal film and it's hard to imagine anyone topping Gene Wilder's performance...but based on this clip, I look forward to seeing what Burton has done with the factory. -
Dec 10, 2004 12:24:41 AM CST
Dudes I'm not basing my opinion on the fucking teaser alone
by wonkabar
I'm going off Burton's previous turds. Planet of the Apes looked cool too all his stuff looked cool in the trailer. I've fallen for this shit way too many times with this director. You fuckheads can go ahead and "give it chance" and experiance loss and dissapointment watching depp hop around like a bitch. Dude, the book may be dark, but like I said, Dahl described wonka as an old man, not some Psychodelic-transsexual-fruitcake. Dude, I'm looking at the chocolate river set and it looks just as fucking cheesy as the other film. Again I ask, how is Burton righting the supposed wrongs of the last movie? AND IT IS REMAKE. When a movie becomes a classic in it's own right, despite being based on a book, people will ALWAYS refere to a new version as a REMAKE. Like if someone decided decided to do another LOTR trilogy 20 years from now, no matter how much more "pure" it might be people would call it for what is A STUPID FUCKING REMAKE! Even Steven King's The Shining was a stupid fucking remake. I don't give a shit it if it was closer to the authors vision...the first film was a classic that shouldn't have been fucked with, sorry. The irony with this latest Burton turd is that it's NOT closer to the book. I don't give fuck what you say, that piece of ass I just watched is not what Dahl intended. WONKA IS NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE SOME MICHEAL FAGSON FREAK! DON'T GIVE ANY MORE MONEY TO THAT SHITHEAD FILMMAKER WHO SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ALLOWED TO TOUCH ANOTHER CAMERA AGAIN AFTER THE DEBACLE THAT WAS BATMAN RETURNS!
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All I have to say is where the hell did Warner Bros come from lately Troy - Potter 3 - Aviator - Oceans 12 - Phantom - A Very Long Engagement - Million Dollar Baby - Batman Begins - Charlie, all very off kilter movies that seem brave what the hell, and may it keep up.
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Dec 10, 2004 12:52:48 AM CST
Knids weren't in the first book, you twits! They were in the sec
by durendal
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I remember an interview with the writer where he was saying he hadn't seen the original, and Burton specifically asked him not to before writing this version, so he didn't, but after he finished writing it he checked out the original and was surprised that it was actually darker than what he wrote.
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Dec 10, 2004 12:57:40 AM CST
I don't know what it is with you people and your Michael Jackson
by 007-11
You really have to stretch to draw comparisons between Depp as Wonka and Michael Jackson. Last time I checked Michael Jackson wasn't sporting red hair styled like Prince Valiant or large teeth. Sure he has a pale complexion, but jesus why isn't anyone claming he looks like Julianne Moore? Maybe if his lips were bright red you could get away with it, but they aren't so just shut the hell up.
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Dec 10, 2004 1:07:43 AM CST
The music seems to be Weird Al by way of Danny Elfman.
by archduke_chocula
and it's catchy, if that's anything to judge Elfman by then the movie will be another amazing collaboration by Burton Elfman, and Depp.
Looks pretty insane. -
Dec 10, 2004 1:34:43 AM CST
I still say that Tim Burtons friend Danny De vito should have pl
by kaleb.09
and what the hell is that music?
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Depp is the creepiest part...I think, oh wait, no....just a flashback.
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Just what the hell is in that chocolate?
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Dec 10, 2004 2:13:33 AM CST
"Mommy, Daddy, I Can't Sleep" OR... Nightlight Sales To Skyrocke
by jollydwarf
Anakin goes to Hell/gets burned alive, Bruce Wayne deals with his demons and Scarecrow, the things that happen at the end of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", and this sugar-coated version of Dante's Inferno, by way of Tim Burton. Yup, the kids are going to wake up screaming quite a bit this summer.
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WONKA WAS NOT DESCRIBED IN THE BOOK AS OLD. He is very clearly described as a spritely, sparkly-eyed sort of creature of indiscriminate age in bottle green trousers and a plum-coloured frock-coat. Ageless, not old. Depp couldn't be a better choice, even if he's playing it for scary. And there's precedent for that. I rememeber being horrified by Gene Wilder's hostile outbursts at the end of the '71 version.
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Dec 10, 2004 2:51:13 AM CST
LSD??? DO I LOOK LIKE A ROCKERFELLER??? My crank will have to do
by chickengeorgevii
What is with all the yelling and anger in here? You people seem a wee bit freaked out.....And thus, this valium has me all fuzzy warm inside! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!
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Seeing Depp as Wonka, I thought he should be singing "God is in....his holy temmmmple"
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When I first heard the news that a new Willy Wonka was being made, I got very excited. Then I thought, hey, Gene Wilder kicks ass, why do they want to go and fuck that up. Now, I am caught somewhere inbetween. I see both promise and failure in that teaser. I am almost always a fan of Tim Burton, but. . .huh. I will just have to wait and see how it turns out before I make a decision. Please not utter failure. Make it cool.
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Okay I've watched the trailer and it looks like the kid who was addicted to TV's been turned into a video game nut. But the other children, the glutton, spoiled brat, and gum chewer are still the same? So what's the message here? It's okay now to being a mindless slave to TV, just don't play video games. And another thing, what's so wrong about chewing gum. That's something I never understood(even in the original movie). I mean we encourage smokers to chew gum instead of smoke. Is this the old "one habit's worse than the other" or are we just being hypocrites here? Anyhow, yes this is an unnecessary remake and I can't understand what Depp and Burton are doing on it.
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http://www.johnglover.info/images/ewjohn1.jpg http://small.ville.free.fr/photos/lionel/smallville03.jpg
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Is it just me, or does Johnny Depp look like Faye Dunaway in some of those shots of him frowning?
When he smiles in one of the first shots in the trailer, he looks like Isabella Rossellini.
He acts like Michael Jackson.
This looks to be one twisted, messed up ride. Love it! -
Dec 10, 2004 4:07:10 AM CST
Terry_1978: "I don't even use the first movie in the same senten
by jeffv
Um, but... right there... you just...
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And they better be orange and they better be midgets! 'Nuff said, True Believer.
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so stock up now
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The first movie is decent, but doesn't really live up to the book. I definitely think there's room to improve, and just do something different. Sure, it may suck (can't tell too much yet), but this kind of movie is right up Burton's alley, and Depp always kicks ass. I'll be there opening day, just hope it's as trippy and deranged as this trailer.
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I'm usually a bit more articulate than this, but the film looks pretty gay. Anyone got any idea why Depp is spouting off-lines like he's a Valley Girl? I enjoyed the original, despite its flaws. I was hoping for something that looked a bit more interesting, and not a trailer that looked like the credits for a goofy saturday morning kid's show.
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Dec 10, 2004 9:17:45 AM CST
Sweet. This will certainly scare the shit out of my kids. They'l
by big bad clone
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and that's a good thing. 2005 is going to lick your balls while you'll giving the good one to your girl...yea, it is looking that damn good.
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somebody please stop greenlighting burtons SHIT.
that song is annoying as hell as well as depp as wonka. wtf? wtf? wtf? looks like total and absolute crap. -
Mad props for the Poltergeist II reference, dude.
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Now what do I do for the 10+ hours I have until I come down?????
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That dude is flat out the Joker. If and when they make Dark Knight Returns, there's your man.
"Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most!" *evil grin*
God I love that. -
What a piece of dreck.
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Every time one of you guys screams about how this movie's based on "THE BOOK, NOT THE EARLIER MOO-VIEE!!!" you sound as shrill and hysterical as an 8 year old girl. Just so you know. And the shit of it is that this thing is still going to suck balls, because it's Tim "Although I am Heterosexual, My Soul is That of a Beautiful Gay Teenaged Boy" Burton once again being allowed to do the one thing he should never, ever be allowed to do, which is go nuts with some completely self-indulgent big budget Bonanza o' Whimsy like this movie appears to be. And I don't care if this movie is based on the book, the original movie, or some notes scribbled on Roald Dahl's snot-stained Kleenex, it's still completely unnecessary. Aieeee!!!
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It's awful and will flop.
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Dec 10, 2004 11:17:39 AM CST
this is some sick, sadistic, twisted, perverted, crazy shite....
by johnnybluejeans
bubble gum is really gross, bubble gum i hate the most
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Gene Wilder was that friend of your parents who knew that you knew he had a razor blade and was going to use it.
That said, I'm very looking forward to this movie-- IMHO this is the perfect match of filmmaker to project. -
Read the first book again...Wonka mentions Knids in the jungles where the Oompa Loompas live. Yes, they live in space in the second book, but they do appear (by name, at least) in the first.
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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was the first "real" book I remember reading (more than once) as a child and I have loved the Willy Wonka movie since I first saw it. That said, I can't wait to see Tim Burton's take on it. To me the Wonka film really starts the first second Gene Wilder comes on screen. The first half is good (except for the mom's Cheer Up Charlie song) but maybe it's my anticipation of the factory and Wilder that makes it seem to drag. I trust Burton - Planet of the Apes notwithstanding - to entertain me from frame one. This looks to be a fun ride in the old Pee Wee/Beetle Juice/Nightmare Before Christmas tradition that first attracted me to Tim Burton.
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Dec 10, 2004 1:35:42 PM CST
What really annoyed me about this trailer is how many shots ther
by grabthars_hammer
for a buttload of Depp/Wonka figs from the movie. Look at the end of the trailer, there are 6 shots of Depp after the title screen. Come on. Burton's films may lack substance character wise, but the beauty is always there. Focus on that some more.
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Dec 10, 2004 2:22:11 PM CST
Brilliant teaser, but what happens with the marketting dept. get
by ar42
From these glimpses, it's going to be a hard sell as a children's movie. Now, if the studio is smart enough to market it to 20-30 year olds with fond memories of the original book & movie (and if indeed the movie was made with that demographic in mind)... interesting. The book was one of my favorites growing up, and when I first saw the movie at age 11 or so I didn't like it at all. I later came to see the good points of the adaptation, but Dahl's books are tricky to adapt for various reasons. Wonka is an enigma who is never explained very well in the book (and is frankly not a very three-dimensional character.) Wilder's take on him is fascinating, and Depp's looks like it will be as well.
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which plays EVERY Christmas on TV here in Ireland/UK. Man, I had forgotten how creepy and sophisticatedly camp it is! I had it kinda lumped in with Mary Poppins as a seasonal stocking filler, yeah I know that the boat ride was and is a mean-spirited triumph of drug-addled mayhem, but that film is an ugly satire on consumerism and a Cold War allegory to boot! Little working class hero Charlie Bucket (utilitarian, unshowy) who lives in a mini commune with his grandparents gets to visit the factory of an enlightened industrialist who pays his workers in food and practises the essence of non-alienated labour. Stick in four children who each represent a sin of consumer capitalism, from compulsive violent TV watching to pure greed, not to mention a clutch of rivals who all have the names of nasty Jew capitalists (Dahl wasn't big on the Jewish people, I regret to say) like Slugwurst and Schickelgruber (actually Hitler's 'other' name, indicating a semi-Jewish genealogy which he spent his lifetime obscuring) and you have a nasty-ass parable about the second half of the Twentieth Century. This film needs to be remade (check out Mike TeeVee's video-game obsession) to incorporate how little we've progressed, indeed how much we've regressed into obese, passive, greedy selfishness. And Depp is playing the green-hued corpse of Michael Jackson.
Perfect! -
all that needed to be said.
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Depp call Americans "Dumb puppies". I guess we would have to be if we pay money to see someone who insulted an entire country (our country, that is).
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Dec 10, 2004 3:58:30 PM CST
I seem to recall an early 90s band named Veruca Salt, but minus
by joe cool #2
OK, that's it. Burton's finally cracked. But maybe that will actually serve the purpose of this film. I withhold judgment until seeing the finished product. Until then, no more candy for Mr. Burton before bed. 'Cuz, WHOA.
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I was really looking forward to seeing this movie, being a big Tim Burton fan (except for Planet of the Apes natch) and I bought all that stuff about how it was a remake of the book and not the movie, but to my eyes that trailer looks an awful lot like the movie! I was expecting something much more wacked out, more colorful, more intense - where is all of Burton's incredible art design? Put this one back in the oven, cause it ain't done yet.
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Who turns water into wine anymore?? How about turning water into Pierrier Water. And who wears robes??? Nobody except Hugh Hefner, and baby, he's no Jesus! The one fish feeding all those people? How about this; Jesus wins a Taco Bell lottery and gets free Tacos to everyone. Makes more sense. I mean, lets get real here people. Willie Wonka is sooooooooo dated. Kids just dont relate to it al all anymore, just like Wizard of Oz. Kids dont watch them. Three Stooges? Pleeeaaassseee! Its time we all started updating the past so that we can understand it today. I mean, that kid in the Willie Wonka movie is playing with TOY GUNS!!!! Who does that? Sure, kids might understand its not the guns but what this kids selfishness represents, that his toys represent a spoiled kid, but how can they understand selfishness, rudeness, snottiness if the kid isnt in a pair of Nikes and playing a video game??? It just goes WAY over their heads.
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Towards the end of the trailer a shot of Depp in front of the factory.His cane is in one hand and a HUGE scissors is in the other. I assume that he cuts a ribbon of some kind,but. It also looks like a hidden joke. Cool trailer.
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Sorry ANALANTHRAX, but it had to be said. And what's with all the seething homophobia? Not just picking on you here, AA - it seems a number of posters don't like ambiguity in their gender portrayals. Must be hell to live with such a fragile world view that a little makeup on a "dude" can rack it so. And what if he's not really gay, but just wearing makeup to confuse you? Well, that'd be worse, wouldn't it? Personally I loved the books AND the Wilder movie (as totally different animals) and there may just be enough love left over after that for this if, as I suspect, the teaser is a completely out of conext amalgamation of images that may or may not have anything to do with how the actual film comes across. Here's an idea... let's see the movie first and then decide if it's shit or not. What do you say? No? This is more fun? Okay, but remember to put on your helmets and harnesses if you're going to keep playing so rough out here. Oh... and the Michael Jackson look is perfect for a modern Wonka (scary, reclusive, loves kids... yeah, that'll work). What? You'd rather he look like Donald Trump? "Augustus, you're fired... and you will be delicious."
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when i was boy of about 10 years of age, i really wanted to get busy with Veruca Salt!!! was there something wrong with me?
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Its true! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000489/ He is down as playing Wonkas father. Hmmm Wonkas father was the dentist...?!?! Oh who cares - ITS CHRISTOPHER LEE!!
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Okay, I am freaked out. This is amazingly brilliant whacked out holy-what-in-the-world trailer that has me spellbound. And agreeably, Johnny Depp looks really really appropriately weird... but he also resembles my girlfriend now.... I really have to break up with that girl. Fortunately, she has a crush on Depp. Hmm. Anyway, this film looks great! I love the trailer and the funky whacked music. It's fun and scary at the same time. Hahaha. Gotta break up with that girl, dang it. Grrrr.
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John Glover would have been an awesome choice, indeed. His performance in THE CHOCOLATE WAR is flawless
"Renaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuult!!!!"
but Michael Keaton would've been cool, too -
geez, what a surprise: another pointless remake. How can this film be more loyal to the novel? Dahl ADAPTED the novel for WILLY WONKA, fer cryin' out loud!
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2005 is gonna be a great fuckin' year for animation:
Steamboy
Through the Moebius Strip
Corpse Bride
(possibly) Coraline
STRANGERS WITH CANDY: THE MOVIE is probably THE film of 2005 as far as I'm concerned, though
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"this is not a remake". LOL. Burton's seen the original numerous times. Was PLANET OF THE APES a remake? Of course it was. There is no such thing as a "re-imagining". That's publicity BS
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were you born stupid, or did you get that way by doing too much crystal meth?
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Gene Wilder is still alive.
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The only good thing about the original was the casting. It saved a half assed script from being a total waste of time. And don't get me started on the worst ear worm in history..."the candy man". The oompa loompas and their idiotic song refrains were definitely the worst.
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People keep saying "Gene Wilder" this "Remake" that. This is NOT a remake. It's from the book. The book is "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" not "Willy Wonka..." The first movie got it wrong. This is based off the book directly, not the Gene Wilder film. Stop saying it is.
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I couldn't load it
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what's wrong with that website?
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stupid site that Yahoo, the trailer isn't loading.
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The Gene Wilder movie will always rule!!!
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Anyone else reminded of the creepy-irritating music from the Halloween: Season of the Witch blinking jack-o-lantern show??
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oh yeah, this trailer looks genius. :-)
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oh yeah, this trailer looks genius. :-)
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Dec 11, 2004 5:08:30 AM CST
"Chewing gum is really gross. Chewing gum I hate the most." - Th
by k0ny
The beautiful thing about Wilder's Wonka is that he passed no judgements. He never made any remarks about hating. He was a Taoist being that floated through every situation muttering little bits of wisdom as he went. I never read the book, but the movie is a favorite of mine. This trailer gives me the impression that they've given this the "Cat in the Hat" treatment and Depp has been reduced to mugging at the camera as a demented ring master in a circus of mediocrity. But I could be wrong, it's only a trailer, after all. |||A LITTLE NONSENSE NOW AND THEN IS RELISHED BY THE WISEST MEN.|||
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I've learned a lot on talkbacks this week, I must say. New rule: if you call a successful director a hack, you must also list the name of a filmmaker you think is not a hack. This way we can qualify your taste. Example: "Marty Scorsese is a hack, McG is a McGenius."
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This just looks silly. It makes you think Timmy boy has gone all Terry Gilliam again. And with Johnny "America is a dumb puppy" Depp in the lead and the inevitable "Willy Wonka" comparisons (By the way, Harry, Roald Dahl co-wrote the screenplay for "Wonka." I think he was proud of that version.) you have a blink-and-you-miss classic.
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Dec 11, 2004 11:59:26 AM CST
weiny waggers, burton haters, gene wilder necrophiles, and movie
by atomheartbrother
1. kudos to the many wankers who failed to notice that that was one of the best movie trailers ever. that the PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY is so groovy (and cgi free) that they were able to cut together so much swell shit (think a wes anderson movie trailer x 10) should have been observed by somebody, but apparently depp's performance had them mesmerized (bloody wankers). 2) for the record burton only has one turd in the punch bowl (clearly the planet of the apes); everything else is enjoyable and further proof that burton is one of the view truly gifted visual fantasy artist directors truly left in the western world. sure you could quibble with that, but then you'd be revealing how little you know about cinema... 3. just because a weird film that is the product of a weird director with real cinematic vision (the guy was a fucking animator for christ's sake) don't resonate with a super large audience doesn't make neccesarily it bad (ed wood! mars attacks!)- it just means that some people got it (us) and some didn't (you), and i can't help you with that. and for the record (write this down!)- that makes burton an auteur in the purest sense. 4. gene wilder is happier than shit that a-list actor genius johnny depp is recreating the role HE made real AGES ago for previous generations, and ditto for roal dahl who's pleased as fucking punch that their making his dark (and light) children's book into a dark (and light!) movie, and probably glad that the estate's doing so well. 5. that trailer was jim dandy and i can't wait to see the finished product (the true desire of a cinephile- to see a movie (wankers need not apply). 6. and because you essentially make things like this possible, you wankers are the best. keep it up!
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Look familiar?
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What the fuck is Burton going to do with that sequence? Kids WILL be scarred for life. Hell, I'm scared just thinking about where Burton could go with that...
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Remember 21 Jump Street? That Motherfucker has come a long way.
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Dec 11, 2004 2:25:28 PM CST
if this is closer to the book, why isn't charlie the main charac
by symphy
I thought the movie Willy Wonka was excellent in its own right, but at least gave the bulk of screen time to the book's star, Charlie. This film looks almost entirely Depp/Wonka. How is that "closer" to the book?
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Steve Martin, Robin Williams, Christopher Walken, Nicolas Cage and Michael Keaton were all considered for the role of Willy Wonka, according to IMDB. Of those, I think Christopher Walken would have been my favorite -- Willy Wonka should be creepy-silly, not Martin/Williams silly. But I'm concerned about screewriter John August -- he's only done a few scripts, most of them bad (Charlie's Angels, Charlie's Angels 2, Titan A.E., and Big Fish). Of those, only Big Fish was particularly decent, and even then, it could have been a lot better in the hands of a more experienced auteur. He also said that the 1971 version was "much darker" than his version. So why does everyone think this version will be darker, when the screenwriter himself is saying it's lighter?
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maybe the reason Depp as Wonka looks like he's showing his age is because Wonka is dying of an illness of sorts. I mean, why would a mid-aged man (Wonka) need to give his chocolate factory away at such a young age. There's no reason to retire at 40 years old (and that goes for the original with Gene Wilder, too)
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Here's my take... the Oompah Loompas will still sing after each kid goes. My guess is each time will be in the guise of a different rock icon (or musical styling)... the Beatles, hard rock (keyboard playing, guitar smashing), etc. I'd also bet tons of money the music from the teaser is from the mechanical singing dolls. Now, I'd like to throw my 8 cents in about who Depp looks like. Steven Tyler and David Bowie. Harry Knowles looks like Phyllis Diller.
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Dec 11, 2004 5:40:39 PM CST
It's Not Just What You KNOW You See That Makes This Creepy OR...
by jollydwarf
Okay, I'm sure that this film will be chock-full of subliminal messages, most of which we'll never notice, even a year from now, armed with the DVD. But watch the trailer again, at normal speed and then frame-by-frame when the group of 'winners' is (presumably) watching Augustus travel up the tube towards his likely doom. Is it me, or do the candy canes sticking out of the river seem to form either the top halves of the letters "H", "E", "L", and "L", or maybe even "H", "E", "L", and "P"? Or am I just doing the typical fanboy breakdown again? I wonder if Burton will have Wonka suggest the possibility of survival or repair for the kids in this film. Either way, there are going to be a lot of crying children and 'betrayed', naive parents leaving the theater this summer.
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Come on, you know it`s true!
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Yes, Eve Ensler! Funny as Hell, people. I think "Rocky Horror Picture Show" is what struck me about the look... crossed with the Monkees' "Head." Hey, who's doing "Sweeny Todd?" Wasn't burton attached to this for awhile? By the way, why wasn't Gene Wilder cast as Grampa Joe? 'Would have thrown a bone to the fans of the Wolper version. Personally I wouldn't get my panties in too much of a bunch, we're probably about fifteen years at the most from a time where every movie ever made is downloadable in a size that allows anyone to edit their own version. You want "Willy Wonka" starring Buzz Lightyear and Marilyn Monroe? Don't worry chump, it'll happen in your lifetime. On a different subject, I just watched Batman on TBS last night and now, fifteen years on, I'm struck by how well made it is. It flows really smoothly. The whole "Action News" sequence seems to come out of nowhere but then it fits right back in perfectly. In all of about eight minutes they set up that tese two supermodels are dead and then here's the Joker using their very images in his "commercial." It all happens so fast that the sequence is largely taken for granted. Plus it's hilarious to boot. Tying it back to Willy Wonka: A) Maybe burton can pull off the "Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe" type sequences needed to introduce Veruca, Violet, etc. On the other hand I could see the suits at WB saying "Lose the irrelevant scenes in the first half of the movie." (Doctor, the Archangel came to me in a dream and told me where to find a Wonka Golden Ticket...) Too bad if they do. And B) the first Batman reminds me that maybe Burton works better when he's restrained. Batman Returns and Sleepy Hollow are okay, but their focus is all over the place. I kind of liked Mars Attacks if you look at it as a series of interlocking short stories. I'll shut up now. (P.S. Didn't John August also write "Go"? "Go" was awesome.)
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Yes, Eve Ensler! Funny as Hell, people. I think "Rocky Horror Picture Show" is what struck me about the look... crossed with the Monkees' "Head." Hey, who's doing "Sweeny Todd?" Wasn't burton attached to this for awhile? By the way, why wasn't Gene Wilder cast as Grampa Joe? 'Would have thrown a bone to the fans of the Wolper version. Personally I wouldn't get my panties in too much of a bunch, we're probably about fifteen years at the most from a time where every movie ever made is downloadable in a size that allows anyone to edit their own version. You want "Willy Wonka" starring Buzz Lightyear and Marilyn Monroe? Don't worry chump, it'll happen in your lifetime. On a different subject, I just watched Batman on TBS last night and now, fifteen years on, I'm struck by how well made it is. It flows really smoothly. The whole "Action News" sequence seems to come out of nowhere but then it fits right back in perfectly. In all of about eight minutes they set up that tese two supermodels are dead and then here's the Joker using their very images in his "commercial." It all happens so fast that the sequence is largely taken for granted. Plus it's hilarious to boot. Tying it back to Willy Wonka: A) Maybe burton can pull off the "Meanwhile, on the other side of the globe" type sequences needed to introduce Veruca, Violet, etc. On the other hand I could see the suits at WB saying "Lose the irrelevant scenes in the first half of the movie." (Doctor, the Archangel came to me in a dream and told me where to find a Wonka Golden Ticket...) Too bad if they do. And B) the first Batman reminds me that maybe Burton works better when he's restrained. Batman Returns and Sleepy Hollow are okay, but their focus is all over the place. I kind of liked Mars Attacks if you look at it as a series of interlocking short stories. I'll shut up now. (P.S. Didn't John August also write "Go"? "Go" was awesome.)
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"Chewing gum is gross, chewing gum I hate the most."?! The Phantom Menace has better fucking lines than that, for shit's sake. If this is what the book is like, burn it and novelize the Gene Wilder film adaptation.
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Ummm... I don't see the LSD.
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Yuck
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apparently tim burton smells and dresses like a hobo.
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Dec 12, 2004 4:31:09 PM CST
It probably IS a remake... as for the first one being called "Wi
by holly_wight
The first one was originally titled as the book- "Charlie and the Chocoloate Factory" but some studio execs at the time thought it wasn't a good idea to use the name "Charlie" since that name was a term used by American soldiers who were in Vietnam at the time, and had become very well-known in that context. Little did they realize, however, that "Willy Wonka" was a fairly common slang term for masturbation in some countries, but by the time they figured that out it was too late. Anyway, they movie screenplay (which Dahl HATED) was "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" but the title was changed before release. Dahl hated Wilder in the role- He thought he was too young and too sinister, but mostly, Dahl hated that the film's writer and director changed almost all the Willy Wonka dialogue from the book, replacing it with various quotes from other sources (such as Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare, and popular advertising campaigns of the time). Like Burton's "Planet of the Apes" this new version looks to be a remake of the MOVIE, and not a loyal adaption of the book, but we'll see. All I know is that if Burton had followed the book for "Planet of the Apes" he'd have had a much better movie than the piece of crap he foisted on us in an attempt to remind us how "strange" he is.
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'Coraline' is coming out in '05? Sweet.
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Holly...amen
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. . . Norma Desmond (Sunset Blvd.) with a Paul Revere haircut. The Michael Jackson comparisons are spot on since MJ was reported to have wanted to play this part. THANK THE MOVIEMAKING GODS that Johnny Depp is doing this. This is gonna be twisted stuff.
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First Pirates of the Caribbean, now this. Can he get any more femmey? Used ta think he was hot, but that trailer scared the shit out of me. Yeah he IS Michael Jackson creepy. Ugh, nightmare time. +++ the original scared the shit out of me too. The psychedelia and Oompah Loompahs were OK, it was the terrible things happeniing to the kids that were so upsetting. Especially the fat kid falling into the chocolate river and getting stuck in a tube.
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fuck burton. he needs to get his shit together and come up with SOMTHING to tell us what the hell happened after his apes movie. But then again, this is tim burton we are talking about....Not a real film-maker here.
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Why do you cretins keep referring to Wilder "spinning in his grave," etc? He is very much alive.
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First, that trailer is a trip! We'll see if Burton gets it right. Second, the oompaloompa' will be CGI. Burton always goes apeshit with CGI when he can get his hands on it. ILM is probably burning the midnight oil as we speak! Third, someone mentioned a remake of A Clockwork Orange. MEMO TO HOLLYWOOD EXECUTIVE COCK-WRANGLERS WHO ENVISION SUCH A REMAKE: BACK THE FUCK AWAY! IF YOU REMAKE A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, I CAN ONLY HOPE & PRAY THAT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU PETER-PUFFERS SUFFER AN AGONIZING DEATH!!!!! A demise by Romero's zombies would be appropriate...
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I was actually excitd to see this movie..
Now I wanna smack Tim Burton in the mouth...
that song.. that fucking "wonka, willy wonka".... take my brain out and scrub it clean please!!!
THE HORROR.. THE horror. -
The shoddy filmaking here looks exactly like the recent "Cat In The Hat" movie. This stinker will bomb.
Poor Timmy Burton, the patron saint of stoner/loner/rejects. He had his laughs after shoving his disturbing images down America's throats, but those days are over.
Making Johnny Depp look like a transexual will lose so much money for Warner Bros., that they will drop him for good, and wonder how much better those other films would have done if they had only chosen someone else to direct. -
Dec 13, 2004 3:53:53 PM CST
The setes in this trailer look the same or worse than the ones f
by eye_h8_u
Seriously how is this supposed to be an improvement from the original? And why is Depp so nauseatingly annoying these days in everything he does? I am so sick of him trying to attach himself to every quirky role he can get his hands on. And Tim Burton needs to stop doing remakes after the shitfest that he called "Planet of the Apes."
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Depp busted loose from "21 Jump Street" and slowly but surely built a fine career playing misfits and eccentrics with a heart of gold. His looks just got better -- true movie star beauty -- but he kept keeping at playing the oddballs, many of his best for Tim Burton -- "Edward Scissorhands," "Sleepy Hollow" and above, all, Ed Wood.
Then, as happens in Hollywood, Depp finally hit the jackpot with "Pirates of the Carribean," in which critics treated his quite-usual oddball characterization as something really special (where were they the last ten years?}Anyway, "Pirates" did it: Depp is a $20 million a movie man, now, a Big Star despite himself. Hollywood now moves to overexposure ("Secret Window" is overhyped for the small movie it is; Depp's face is plastered all over the "Wonka" teaser trailer, incessantly, unendingly; he'll do a "Pirates" sequel) Moviegoers get angry; the backlash begins. Too bad. But unavoidable under today's system. -
Nor original in any way, shape, or form. The sets looks like they were lifted straight outta the '71 version and Depp looks like a god-damn pedophile on a bender. THIS MOVIE'S GONNA SUUUUUUUCK! I can't believe they actually thought a remake of this was necessary. Maybe to line the studio's over inflated coffers but apparently not to improve or expand upon the source material. Tim Burton's gotta be one of the most overated directors out there.
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..but isn't this meant to be a CHILDREN'S movie? And most of you are about how old? I know that Burton seems to be a giant man-child with a box of coloured crayons, but he's the technician in charge of bringing this CHILDREN'S film to reality. I notice that the adults on this board seems far more interested in babbling about visuals and toys than script, character or ideas. Perhaps you should let the target audience decide. Clue: They're NOT YOU.
Now go and watch Citizen Kane, The Three Colours trilogy and lots of Bergman.
You can't live on candy, little boys. -
As a kid, the original freaked me out. This one looks very different. Being a Tim Burton movie, it probably won't be perfect, but it looks freaky and interesting. Johnny Depp does look androgynous and at times like Michael Jackson (in shots where the hair looks black and he's wearing sunglasses). I will be amazed if the media doesn't bring it up ad nauseum once the movie comes out. Hell, they probably already have if people on here are seeing it.
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Dec 16, 2004 12:04:24 AM CST
Wow...they've apparently replaced Johnny Depp with Audrey Tautou
by mosquito march
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