Hey pards', Harry here with an early look at Adam Sandler's SPANGLISH - the concept that the phrase "the fan-fucking-tastic Tea Leoni" was used in the below review is just rather mind-boggling. I'll have to ponder that for a while. However, it sounds like an ok lil film here. One of the better Sandler projects. Cool! Here ya go, and watch out for SPOILERS below...

Hello Harry, i'm a long time reader of Aintitcoolnews, and I shall reveal my identity at the end. I want to start off by saying, i've never ever written a movie review before, so here goes.

Ok, it all began about a week ago, I was taking a girl from work out to see the movie,"Saw", this guy walked up and asked us if me and her would like to see a special private screening of the new Adam Sandler drama, Spanglish, on November 4, at the Harkins Cine Capri in wonderful phoenix arizona. She being a huge sandler fan, agreed, so I was sucked in immediatly.

Fast forward to 11/4, I had forgotten about the whole thing, but she calls me up to remind me at work, so off we go.

Ok, first things first, Adam Sandler WAS there. We both cleary saw him standing next to a tree just chatting way, then when people started to notice him, he put his jacket over his head and walked off REALLY fast. I was within 20 feet of Adam Sandler! Sweet!

Fast forward to the movie now.

The movie is about a Mexican girl named Christina, and how her mother and her immigrated, illegally, to America to start a new Life. I don't recall the little girls real name, and it's strangly not listed on imdb.com, but her mother Flor, is played by Paz Vega, who may very well be one of the most attractive actresses i've ever seen. Moving along now;

The beginning of the movie starts of will "older" Christina, narrating the story. She basically writes and essay to Princeton university, on who her role model is, and why she should be accepted into the school. So she goes on to write about her earlier years in america with her mother, and how her life altering encounter with the Klasky family.

Christine's mother, Flor, decides she needs a job that pays atleast 400 dollars a week, because shes been working 2 jobs, but wants to work 1 to keep an eye on her daughter.Flor who doesn't know english, takes a translator with her to the Klasky residence to interview for a maid position.

Enter the fan-fucking tastic Tea Leoni. Tea plays Mrs. Klasky, whos this crazy neurotic/paranoid woman who thinks everyone is ignoring her and has no clue really how to interact with her children or how to treat them properly. After a very humorous scene with her trying to pronounce Flor's name, (she keeps pronouncing it as "Floor", but all us spanish speaker now you have to roll your tonge at the end, and it's always funny watching gringos trying to get it right) and Flor gets very frustrated but Tea eventually gets it right. We are introduced to the rest of the family soon enough;

georgie, thier 8 year old son.

bernice; about 12? their daughter.

and The actres Chloris Leachman, who plays Debbie's (Leoni) mother.

and of course, Sandler, whos Mr. Klasky, whos not in the movie much, lol.

Um, I don't want to give away much, but theres some scenes i'd like to go into that I really liked, and I hope don't get edited down, very minor spoilers ahead fellas.

Ok, remember I said Tea's character, Debbie was neurotic, crazy, paranoid, and obsessed with her fitness and doesn't know how to treat her kids? let's go into that.

Theres a scene at the beginning, where Bernice (sarah steele), baked some browny things and offerred one to Flor, who takes a bite and appearantly its delicious. In walks Debbie, who, takes a bite, thinks its great, then decides to blurt out," These are fantastic, but you could do without these", referring to Bernice's chubbyness. That's what I mean by, she doesn't know how to treat her kids. Bernice runs off sniffling of course. Now, for about half the movie, Flor(vega) doesn't know english. I love her face as she tries to understand peoples conversations, she looks so cute and confused. But whats great is, she can kinda put 2 and 2 together and figure out what people say. So she gets the idea what Debbie said to Bernice. Then, a few scenes later, as Bernice and Sandler are in her bedroom practicing some trivia for a quiz, In walks Debbie who comes home from shopping, Debbie bought some new clothes for Bernice. If your thinking "uh oh" right now, you are correct in doing so. The clothes turn out to be size 8, and are too tight for Bernice. Her mother responds with, "oh, you'll lose the weight honey". Bernice runs off crying, Debbie and Sandler fight, scenes over.

Flor to the rescue. She re-sows the clothes to make them fit, and gives them to Bernice. They fit, Bernice is happy, but knows what Flor did, and is greatly appreciative. You kinda get the idea that Debbie doesn't like her ugly chubby daughter, and this is solidified when Flor's daughter moves in, and Debbie just loves her. Debbie takes Christina out shopping and what have you, things she should be doing with her own daughter. Of course, Flor gets pissed. But i'll stop there.

Wanna talk about Sandler? Sure. Hes Sandler. The same Sandler we've seen in all his other movies, except, this is not a comedy, it's a drama, so hes not allowed to be funny. Actually, Debbie's mother carrys all the humor in this movie, but I don't want to give away any of her scenes because they are some of the best. Sandler is pretty much playing a serious, laid back Father, whos a top chef, and has just gotten his restaurant rated by times 4 stars. Obviosly, you can see from the first time he sees Flor, he starts to fall in love with her. Now, i'll describe one more scene and wrap it up, because it's one of the best scenes in the movie, and very funny. I'll make it short.

He promises to pay the kids, 5 bucks for each glass sandstone they find on the beach. Christine finds 650 dollars worth of sandstone. He actually gives it to her. Flor freaks out, shes an old fashioned mom, doesn't like the idea of someone giving her kid that much money. So, she gets into a fight with Sandler, with christina translating back and forth. I think the actress that plays Chistina is Gold. This is one of two scenes she really shines in, I believe this girl has a great career ahead of her. She is basically translating the argument between the two adults from english to spanish and spanish to english and it is hilarious, as she is actually acting out the emotions of the two adults when she translates, and its so funny, such a fun scene.

Over all, everyone does a great acting job. I think everyones fav character will be Leoni, shes just so crazy, but america is gonna fall in love with Paz Vega man. trust me, the woman is so god damned beautiful, and shes a great actress to boot.

Theres a scene at the end, where her daughter is screaming at her in public, ( I won't reveal why) saying very hateful things like, "you destroyed my life,I hate you, this is all your fault". Heres where I judge good acting. Facial expressions, and eyes. The look on Vega's face is heart breaking. She really looks like a mother whos heart is being torn to shreds. I loved this scene, as it's another scene where Christina's acting shines. Man, even I almost cried, and I haven't cried in a movie since the death of boromir.

Anyway, the movie has some morals, like being true to yourself, taking care of your responsibilities first rather then your desires, and not becoming something your not. You will see all these things and more during this movie, I thought it was deep, and the characters were very well developed.

Ok ok, i'm done, i'm not sure how good my "review" was, i've never done it before, it's actually kinda hard to do, especially spoiler free.

If you post this, and I hope you do, call me.....GreyElf!!! thats right! RETURN OF THE KING IS GONNA OWN!!!!