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Herc

Published at: Oct. 29, 2004, 6:03 p.m. CST

Star Trek: Enterprise 4.4 FAQ

What’s it called?
“Borderland.”

Who’s responsible?
Teleplay is credited to series newcomer Ken LaZebnik (“Touched by an Angel,” “Providence”).

What does TV Guide say?
“Brent Spinder begins a three-episode stint as an unsavory geneticist with ties to Data, his Star Trek The Next Generation character. In keeping with Trek continuity, Spiner’s Arik Soong is an ancestor of Data’s inventor, Nonnien Soong. But Arik is a far more menacing figure. He’s in prison for creating “augments,” physically and intellectually enhanced humanoids first developed during the Eugenics Wars (remember Khan?). Here, Archer tries to avert bloodshed by enlisting Arik’s aid in locating the mutant-eers (led by Alec Newman), who have seized a Klingon vessel."

Arik Soong was alive during Khan’s Eugenics War era? How old is this guy?
Pretty old, but he wasn’t around in the Khan days. Soong created Khan-like superhumans 20 years prior to the events of this episode by defrosting a bunch of genetically engineered embryos from the late 20th century and raising them as his own. Ten years later, Soong was captured, tried and imprisoned - but they never found his “kids” until now.

Late 20th century? The Eugenics Wars already happened and I didn't hear anything about them? Stupid Fox News Channel!
Oddly, it looks like they’re sticking to the continuity of the orginal Kirk-Spock-McCoy series, which established that, while a lot of us were arguing over the merits of the Stone Temple Pilots, Khan ruled and enslaved a good chunk of Earth between 1992 and 1996.

How does this one stack up against the first three episodes of the season?
I put it at better than the horrible two-part “Storm Front” debacle and not nearly so good as last week’s “Home.”

What else is TV Guide not telling us?
Trip left Vulcan two weeks before T’Pol did, and it takes a while before Trip learns what happened on Vulcan after the wedding.

What’s good?
The 20 seconds they devote to the Trip-T’Pol romance. The manner in which hulking wrestler-actor Big Show displays a doll-like Jolene Blalock to bidders.

What’s not so good?
Spiner seems too aware that he’s the big special guest star and turns in a spazzy, overeager and distracting performance.

The whole "Orion slaver" subplot that takes up the middle third of the episode is a half-baked bore: the LaZebnik doesn't even bother to develop a decent Orion villain for the sequence, and I don’t get why the Orions grab only nine members of the Enterprise crew for slave trade but leave the rest of the crew to effect a rescue. The one Orion slave girl we get a good look at isn’t as hot as the one Susan Oliver played in “The Cage.”

Take away the Orion subplot and you’re left with a tale that’s waaaay too similar to both “Space Seed” and “The Wrath of Khan,” the stories to which “Borderland” serves as prequel. (The similarities to “Space Seed” extend right down to the conflicted, duplicitous girl willing to betray her leader for a hot augment.) If Malik is such a supergenius, why the mullet? And, oh yeah, why are the Klingons willing to attack Earth over this, but not over all the trouble Archer stirred up during season two?

How does it end, spoiler-boy?
“Thousands of your brothers and sisters are waiting to be born. Let’s go get them.”

Herc’s rating for “Star Trek: Enterprise” 4.4?

**1/2

The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
***** better than we deserve
**** better than most motion pictures
*** actually worth your valuable time
** as horrible as most stuff on TV
* makes you quietly pray for bulletins


In the interest of fairness, though, I will point out that the New York Daily News’ David Bianculli and the Chicago Tribune’s Maureen Ryan offer much more positive reviews of tonight’s installment.

8 p.m. Friday. UPN.

I am – Hercules!!





Want to throw $25 toward the Kerry/Edwards campaign and hear Joss Whedon’s 40-minute Oct. 25 conference call? Learn how to do this by emailing:

josscall@highstakes2004.com.

Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cute cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!

Readers Talkback

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  • Oct. 29, 2004, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Whohoo! 2 more hours until hardcore continuity porn!

    by Tall_Boy

    Lets roll, baby.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Herc should be a comedian

    by Battousai

    "In keeping with Trek continuity, Spiner

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 6:32 p.m. CST

    ...this crap is still on the air? Bring back Star Trek.

    by Johnny Smith

    Y'know, Star Trek. Like the three shows that ran from 1966-1969, 1987-1994 and 1993-1999. They also made about six or seven films. I haven't seen any new Star Trek since "What You Leave Behind" aired in June of 1999. Whatever happened to this great franchise? It up and vanished like a fart in the wind.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 6:40 p.m. CST

    The song "Montalban" by Warp 11 says it all about Kahn!

    by warp11

    Check out this song by that really popular CA Trek band called Warp 11! Their site and BB is at www.warp11.com, and www.warp11bb.com. It's funny as hell! From the day he took his white suit off and left the midget far behind He started taking steroids And froze himself in time Now he

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 6:50 p.m. CST

    Johnny Smith, couldn't agree more

    by brattain

    Ever since DS9 ended, Trek has nearly vanished in relevance. The obvious problem (especially given their work since leaving Trek in 1999) is that the wrong people were let go from Trek. It is widely known that Brannon "gravametric distortions" Braga is a hack who had one or two good ideas back when he was an intern. His career has been almost nothing but Trek and most of that is VGR and ENT, which are easily considered the worst two series of the franchise. I feel sorry for Manny Coto, but Braga has dug a trench too deep for Coto to get out of. DS9 was the last great Trek. TNG pissed away their goodwill with their mostly lame movies. How many times will Paramount have to be told to change the leaders before they get it? What scares me is that Paramount would be too cheap and/or daft to find the right people to take over the franchise. Either way, Trek needs a rest. And for godsakes, can we please get back to the 24th century, circa post-DS9? I just don't care about prequels.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 7 p.m. CST

    Guys I'd Put A Sock In It If I Were You

    by Real Deal

    The online critics are already starting to praise this one http://trekweb.com/articles/2004/10/29/4181deb9a8480.shtml So sorry but I think this one is the begining of the new Enterprise. As promised.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 7:18 p.m. CST

    brattain - sing with me brother! (means I agree.)

    by scrumdiddly

    you have to admit though ds9 became awfully weak in its 7th season... also, there seems to be absolutely no originality on enterprise, even my worst fears couldn't compare to that! p.s. of course spiner is crap in this one, he's had the taste of power from insurrection and "nemesis". jeez even the titles are bad.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 7:34 p.m. CST

    true, scrum

    by brattain

    You're right, DS9 was far from perfect, but it had heart. I actually cared about what happened to the characters. Seventh season dropped the ball in some areas but was brilliant in others (Siege of AR-558, The Changing Face of Evil, Tacking Into the Wind, Enter Armin Shim Merman). Even when DS9 was mediocre, it was better than anything I've seen on VGR or ENT. Since TNG movies have mostly sucked, Paramount might be thinking people don't want to see where "real" Trek left off, but the few Trek fans I do know really wanted to see the universe continue post-DS9 (screw VGR). I'm confident had Moore, Behr, and Wolfe taken over Trek instead of that insipid Braga, Trek would be in far better shape, at least in quality.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 7:38 p.m. CST

    Yeah DS9 sure was great, esp. when Gul Dukat got possessed by th

    by Tall_Boy

    face it, the final season and a half, which everyone says was the best stuff, was fucking weak. Ass-raping of the character of Gul-Dukat? Tell me that the show had the best characterization. "FFFOOOWWWWMMMM!!! I can shoot fire out of my mouth and breathe pure evil and I have my evil book and set the universe on fire! MUHA-HA-AH-HA-HA!!!" Fuckin bullshit. Crappy Voyager episodes were better than that.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Don't forget the great episode where Gul Dukat gave out posioned

    by Tall_Boy

    Face reality people. Dumbass weak stuff.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 8:46 p.m. CST

    ENT

    by Mad_Radhu

    With an abbrevition like that, how can the acting be anything but wooden?

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 8:48 p.m. CST

    DS9 ruled

    by Battousai

    DS9 had a big war with huge fleets duking it out and intergalactic intrigue like Babylon 5. It did have flaws but a lot it worked and I liked it. I actually liked that they were stationary instead of exploring. It had heart and humor. Voyager was bad but strangley watchable. Enterprise has no redeeming quality. Even the nude scenes suck in Enterprise. Enterprise reminds me of Michael Jordan. After he un-retired for the second time and came back for the Wizards, everyone went crazy. Everyone wanted to see him because he was "Michael Jordan" even though he was a sad shadow of what he use to be. People watch Enterprise because it has the name of "Star Trek" not based on it's merits.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 8:51 p.m. CST

    Actually

    by Real Deal

    It's STE.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 8:54 p.m. CST

    Further proof that Herc smokes crack as a recreational activity:

    by Tall_Boy

    Dude, I think you have a problem man.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 9:02 p.m. CST

    I prefer to watch Battlestar Galactica

    by Bart of Darkness

    instead, it runs rings around this anodyne shite. 2 episodes in and I already care more about the Galactica's background extras that these blander than bland nobodies who have been on air for more than 3 years now. Sometimes it's like tuning into The Invisible Man, watching Archer, Trip and T'Pol struggle to avoid fading into the background. (yawn) sorry but all this (yawn) Enterprise talk is (yawn) sending me to sleep. zzzzz.......

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 9:03 p.m. CST

    I remember comparing STP and Pearl Jam

    by Purple Rain

    Makes me feel old.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 9:18 p.m. CST

    great episode

    by Falcon5768

    Jesus christ this review sucked ass, Herc you DO realize that there are two more episodes in this arc to answer your questions... BTW is anyone else happy they both kept the TOS timeline for the Eugenics war, and didnt make the Orions look like the TAS peices of shit

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 9:23 p.m. CST

    STAR TREK SUCKS

    by Rcamacho2278

    Trekkies should die horrible deaths

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 9:43 p.m. CST

    No more film for Star Trek

    by MTC3000

    Anyone notice that Enterprise is no longer being shot on 35mm film, but is now using the 24p HD digital video camera? An end of a era. Not that it looks worse that the way the last season looked, but moving camera shots do have the tell tale "smeary" look. Perhaps it's more of a indication that Parmount doesn't want to invests the $'s anymore for the much higher costs of film.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 10:18 p.m. CST

    On the Subject of DS9...

    by I Own You

    The real beauty of the series is that they had okay episodes and great episodes mainly because it focussed on the characters. The finale was a nice payoff, because there were no bold answers as to the future of the DS9 crew, they just acknowledged the major changes they went through over 7 years and went on with their lives. These were people you cared about. Enterprise is just gimmick show after gimmick season after gimmick show. The T'Pol and Trip romance was artificially created to get T'Pol near-naked every week. I wish Coto well, but this franchise needs Behr back to remind everyone that Trek was always about the people, first.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Spiner

    by Billy_Oblivion

    Spiner once said that acting in Star Trek is basically all about chewing the scenery. From this performance, it's pretty clear he meant it. At least his scenery chewing is eminently watchable compared to the cardboard cutout regulars. The Khan storyline saved Trek once. It'll be interesting to see whether they've gone back to the well one time too many. The opening fight scene was well staged. Most Enterprise fight scenes look like clips from Dr. Who.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 10:37 p.m. CST

    The Eugenics Wars

    by zacdilone

    Someone wrote an interesting Star Trek novel a few years back that actually attempted to show the Eugenics War happening in "our" history's late 20th century. It made it all clandestine and tried to paint it as something the average person would've known nothing about. So it's OK for them to try to keep continuity there I guess.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 10:37 p.m. CST

    Colonel Green

    by Voice O. Reason

    Is the genocidal maniac still in this storyline, or was he written completely as Spiner's character?

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 10:42 p.m. CST

    WWE Superstars need to be on every UPN show.

    by Voice O. Reason

    I'd like to see the Undertaker shoot Kevin Hill with a lightening bolt.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 10:48 p.m. CST

    I enjoyed this ep

    by Trik

    The story, the stunts, the sets all were well done. The actors performed well. Hopefully this season will show more growth and lead to new seasons. Although I think they said last season that this season wraps it up.

  • Oct. 29, 2004, 11:23 p.m. CST

    The Mullets

    by Electric_Monk

    Borderland had its flaws, the bad wigs and very wooden performances for the Augments -but Spiner (chewing the scenery as best as Shatner) does better than even Bakula. It's an improvement over the last 3 seasons and I had hoped for more development of the T'Pol/Trip love affair -it was, perhaps the best aspect of last weeks Home episode. But, as typical, the 20 seconds of talk about it is called "character development" in the ENT universe. Sad that -like T'Pol's AIDS like illness - gets dropped so the absentee viewer does not get confused. Anyway, Coto is slowly getting out of the hole Berman and Braga put him in. However, he'll need to improve the story telling, character development and stop having Archer get beat up and captured. Again. It's a relic of the past, and they need to move on. Spiner brings a healthy dose of humor to a show that really, really, really needs it. Even if it's a bit forced. But he outclasses Bakula in the acting, no matter where you stand on Spiner's performance. I was distracted by the whole Orion slave selling, finding nothing really exciting about it. It really served no purpose, and it should. I mean why go all out to promote their return...oh, crap, that's because they want to attract the straight, white teenage boys. I keep forgetting that. But besides Alec Newman's bad wig -you think Soong could genetically make super-human guys and girls with great hair - the show is worth a look. There is a good story -not a great one -somewhere in this muddle. I'll be back next week, if only to see Archer get beat-up and captured. Again. Such drama. Sigh.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 12:20 a.m. CST

    Ahh, it wasn't that bad.

    by Noriko Takaya

    I've seen worse - it could be the start of a beautiful turnaround or the last gasps of a dying Bantha (whoops - wrong franchise) but either way we'll know by the end of the season. In any case, I hope that the next big Science Fiction series, Trek or not, is on HBO. Seriously. That way we can have crewmembers walking around wearing nothing but baby oil, gory, FX-laden space wars, Tarantinoesque cussin' and most important of all A-Grade script writing & plots! I'd pay to see real adult science fiction for a change.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Why is it...

    by DrLektor

    ...that talkbackers are now resorting to simple reposting of their replies from weeks ago? It wasn't entertaining then and it certainly hasn't changed, or is it just me that actually reads this shit? Star Trek is fine. Try watching sometime.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 1:42 a.m. CST

    oh

    by DrLektor

    And isn't it great how last weeks brilliant 'home' failed to get a review? Talk about unfair, Galactica is good sure and probably deserves all the praise, but stop focusing on every negative bit of trek you can and do some decent reviewing. What happened to The Dead Zone and the Sopranos Herc? They still run you know. Too many good shows are being swept under the carpet.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 1:57 a.m. CST

    who does spiner think he is with his speacial guest star acting?

    by dr.bulber

    he is but a tremble to a god as great as the shatner. does spiner have his own cd of songs? no. did data ever kiss any hot babes? did data ever kiss anyone? anyone? whoopi? anyone? kirk kicked kahn's ass - not once, but twice. and he has two cds. trots- the revenge of the shatner.

  • you know this to be true. Anyone who says DS9 rocked, ok, it was very good from Season 4 to mid-season 6 (when Berman wasn't running the show) but seriously it REALLY sucked ass those last few episodes. That and Dukat being possed by Satan. Why do you people think that shit is good? Its fuckin campy and bullshit, that's what it is.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 3:41 a.m. CST

    I thought the Green girl was cool, and montoblan.mp3 dl!

    by warp11

    I thought that Spinner was great in the role, but would have been a better colonel green or something. Here is a link to where you can download a bootleg of that bad ass song "montoblan" by Warp 11. http://grecojava.info/Warp11/bootlegs/beardedleia/Warp%2011%2012-19-03%20Montban.mp3

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 3:44 a.m. CST

    warp!

    by warp11

    the bootleg of that song montoblan: http://grecojava.info/Warp11/bootlegs/beardedleia/Warp%2011%2012-19-03%20Montban.mp3

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 4:50 a.m. CST

    Battlestar Gallactica (2004) pwnz Star Trek (2004)

    by aceattorney

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 6:21 a.m. CST

    I told a friend of mine one the reasons these characters suck so

    by Anlashok

    He looked at me like I was high.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 10:28 a.m. CST

    People still watch Star Trek

    by Judge Briggs

    Farscape ownz Star Trek. In fact, Farscape can take on both Star Trek and Star Wars...ownage.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 12:42 p.m. CST

    T'Pol worth more than SHE-HULK????

    by teedadawg

    First, Spiner is not so much of a ham here as he is a ham compared to the driftwood that makes up this cast! And the slave auction was an embarrassment. You've got the frigging BIG SHOW and the best way you can think of to use him is to have him pick up Blaylock about 37 times??? (36 of those times they had a stunt dummy). At least Voyager made The Rock an intergalactic warrior. And bony-assed T'Pol fetched more money than SHE-HULK? Where I come from, the slave traders like a little meat on their womens' asses! This was lame. This SHOW is lame. "Home" was tired: A pufferfish head scares off racists? Yeaaaaah, right. ANOTHER rock-climbing captain? Yeaaaaaaah, riiiiight. No "Amok Time"-style faceoff? Yeaaaaaaah ... WRONG!

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Wrong turn at Season 2

    by Veraxus

    Initially Season 1 seemed like it was going to follow the rules that made TNG so great... small story about a ship at sea, er, space. It was character driven and much more realistic than 'lets save a whole planet every week.' While every other week that planet is earth. What character there is in this show is usually good (Trip & T'Pol) but you get so little screen time there, and so much rescuing crewmates from hostile alien species. Bah. I think I'm done with Star Trek. They'll never get it right again.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 1:14 p.m. CST

    I like Enterprise

    by ejcarter9

    I think that every time there's an Enterprise talkback I'm just going to put this in to remind Paramount that there's someone out there who really likes the show and is not jumping on the "Hate Enterprise" bandwagon. Hell, one of the reasons I'm voting for Bush is to piss off all of the Bush haters. Well, okay, it's also because I like the guy but pissing off haters makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 2:22 p.m. CST

    I do remember some Ricardo Montabon ruling earth when STP gave u

    by Big Bad Clone

    Core and Purple are still fucking great listens

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 2:38 p.m. CST

    I get what you're saying, Tall Boy.

    by brattain

    At first, I thought you were one of those one-note posters (DS9Sucks) who does nothing more than restates the same opinion with different insults. But, you are not. That you can see DS9 was at least good for a period of time seems you have an open mind. I really dislike Braga, and his work, but I'd be lying if I said there were zero good episodes of VGR or ENT. There just aren't anywhere near enough. DS9 had a far better hit-miss ratio. Seems you didn't like the Dukat resolution. I didn't either. It was the weakest of the ending story threads. They made Dukat pure-evil when they had been doing a great job of showing him as a more three dimensional villain. He could have been written as the bad guy without making him "pure evil". That was weak. But, as with all things, it depends on how much you want to let something like that bother you. I would have done WYLB differently. I would have done most of season 7 differently. But, like with Star Wars, all I can do is accept or reject what is there. The end result is, unlike everything since DS9, I really cared about those characters. I felt compelled to watch DS9 every week the same way I can't wait for the next new episode of "Lost" (and man,I hope they don't drop the ball on that show). I was a diehard Trek fan. Up until ENT, I had never missed one single new episode. That's FIFTEEN years of constant weekly viewing. I've missed most of ENT and it doesn't bother me. It took Berman and Braga years to do something I didn't think was possible; make me not care. Sure, I still bother reading the occasional news, reviews, etc. But that is more out of curiosity and the lack of effort it takes to find out. I would have never imagined it years ago, but I really think Trek should end for a while and no matter what, Bragaberman should be given the boot. Even with all it's faults, the last seasons of DS9 were must-see TV for me and my friends. Now, I don't even bring the subject of Trek up with them because none of us care what is going on.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 2:40 p.m. CST

    "You've got the frigging BIG SHOW and the best way you can think

    by Voice O. Reason

    Aw, come on! Cut them some slack! The guy only knows one other move, and I don't think Blalock would've gone along with a leg drop.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Finally

    by Bloodstained

    an Orion slave girl returns to Star Trek and all she does is just stand there for a few brief minutes. How retarded is that? She should've danced or tried to seduce somebody or anything.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Actually, Spiner DOES have his own CD of songs.

    by MyNameDoesn'tFit

    OWNED AGAIN.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 6:46 p.m. CST

    DarkHawke, I'd love to see some TV science fiction based off of

    by Noriko Takaya

    IMOHO the new Galactica isn't bad - certainly better than the origional - but how about a series where, say, people like Neal Stephenson, Orson Scott Card and writers of OZ or Six Feet Under were writing the scripts? Without the network censors breathing down their necks? I'd love to see a *realisticlly* done space opera! What would it really be like to be crammed into a huge tin can and sent galavanting all over the galaxy running into god-knows-what for the first time ever? What would the interpersonal (and interspecies) relationships be like? No "universal translator" BS, no re-aligning the phase inductor at the last second, and when people died they stayed dead. You could tell the whole story of 19th Century America's Westard Expansion, only in space. Basiclly origional Star Trek on steroids. Oooh, and NO COMMERCIALS to interrupt the flow of things. If I ran the Science Fiction channel that is how things would be.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 8:18 p.m. CST

    First one I've Been Able to Watch

    by nexxus7

    Two and a half stars is about right. I have tried to watch this show over the years and it has continuously disappointed. I think that on every episode I've seen parts of the Captain had gotten beaten up. what's that all about? This was average sci-fi at best. It was nice seeing Spiner. He's actually a pretty good guy in person, though a little wacky. The character was interesting and his scene chewing at least gave the show some life. The CGI as well continues to be good. I like the ship design for the Orions. It was also kind of near seeing the klingons (although of course they never explain how they go from TNG look, to guys with dark makeup OS, to TNG again -- it would have been nice if they'd made some attempt to join the two continuities. The idea of the augments was also good, as they've tried to pull three of the most iconic elements out of Trek lore to create this episode. What was bad? The digital video is kind of crappy. The crew is so utterly boring it's painful. The torn/worn costumes of the augments. They are supposed to be twice as smart as humans but they can't figure out how to fabricate clothes. And if they had been wearing the sames clothes for 10 years, wouldn't they be a little small? Instead of looking at the Wrath of Knah movie for direction, perhaps the costume designer should have looked at what they were wearing in the original show. And the mullets and stiff acting. The Big Show, looked like a big green doughboy. The slave trade set was pretty weak, and the alien masks/makeup looked off the shelf. Still, it was watchable, and perhaps the other two episodes will be decent as well. But this series needs to be put out of its misery, allowed to rest for a couple of years, and come back better. In the interim, maybe Paramount could either do some deluxe editions of some of the better episodes of TOS for a whole new generation, with modern CGI effects and all new scenes (wouldn't that be cool and relatively cheap), and then do some TV movies and mini-series with different crews and storylines (an expanded universe) to see how the audience responds.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 8:40 p.m. CST

    Hmmm

    by nexxus7

    Two and a half stars is about right. I have tried to watch this show over the years and it has continuously disappointed. I think that on every episode I've seen parts of the Captain had gotten beaten up. what's that all about? This was average sci-fi at best. It was nice seeing Spiner. He's actually a pretty good guy in person, though a little wacky. The character was interesting and his scene chewing at least gave the show some life. The CGI as well continues to be good. I like the ship design for the Orions. It was also kind of near seeing the klingons (although of course they never explain how they go from TNG look, to guys with dark makeup OS, to TNG again -- it would have been nice if they'd made some attempt to join the two continuities. The idea of the augments was also good, as they've tried to pull three of the most iconic elements out of Trek lore to create this episode. What was bad? The digital video is kind of crappy. The crew is so utterly boring it's painful. The torn/worn costumes of the augments. They are supposed to be twice as smart as humans but they can't figure out how to fabricate clothes. And if they had been wearing the sames clothes for 10 years, wouldn't they be a little small? Instead of looking at the Wrath of Knah movie for direction, perhaps the costume designer should have looked at what they were wearing in the original show. And the mullets and stiff acting. The Big Show, looked like a big green doughboy. The slave trade set was pretty weak, and the alien masks/makeup looked off the shelf. Still, it was watchable, and perhaps the other two episodes will be decent as well. But this series needs to be put out of its misery, allowed to rest for a couple of years, and come back better. In the interim, maybe Paramount could either do some deluxe editions of some of the better episodes of TOS for a whole new generation, with modern CGI effects and all new scenes (wouldn't that be cool and relatively cheap), and then do some TV movies and mini-series with different crews and storylines (an expanded universe) to see how the audience responds.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 9:01 p.m. CST

    Tall_Boy...what?

    by Z0D

    You don't get what happened to Dukat, do you? He was taken over by an evil entity, known as a Pah Wraith. It wasn't the devil. Actually, it's just an extension of a very screwed up character, Dukat, and having him become more evil by becoming a tool of more powerful evil beings. I loved how they showed Dukat to have a soft side, like when he had Kira's mother as his mistress and the family was well taken care of. But Kira still didn't like that since she believed Dukat to be evil incarnate even when he showed some sparks of compassion. DS9 is the best Trek ever. ___KNEEL___

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 9:52 p.m. CST

    newvoyages.com

    by Holly_Wight

    If you want real Trek, with Eugene Roddenberry Jr. as the executive producer, and a cast and crew of people who are being true to the original series, then you owe it to yourself to go to www.newvoyages.com and download the first two episodes. These guys are doing a great job! FAR better than B&B.

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 10:22 p.m. CST

    Die quickly

    by Mafu

  • Oct. 30, 2004, 11:10 p.m. CST

    so-so

    by nexxus7

    Not bad. Not great.

  • Oct. 31, 2004, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Actually...

    by zer0cool2k2

    Spiner does have an album. "Ol' yellow eyes returns" or something like that. And Data did do the nasty, with Denise Crosby, although I'm not sure that's anything to brag about.

  • Oct. 31, 2004, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Disappointing

    by Mockingbird Girl

    I haven't cared for "Enterprise" over the years, but was excited about this episode and willing to give it a fresh shot with an open mind. Sure, it was great to see Brent Spiner and the Orion slave girl, but the episode suffered from the exact same weakness that has plagued all episodes of this series: POOR WRITING. When will these geniuses realize that "Star Trek" was never about guest stars and special effects but rather about good STORYTELLING? Sorry, guys, but you've just lost another viewer... and I suspect I'm not alone.

  • Oct. 31, 2004, 11:17 a.m. CST

    yeah the haters on this board are full of shit

    by atomheartbrother

    come on now! this retarded hating on trek is just pure shit. that WAS a good episode of trek. spiner was good and yes he hammed it up, but he always hammed it up a bit when he did lore (nice subtextual continuity for TNG). and admit it you fags, the orions were cool: the ass kicking, the christina aguilera orion slave girl (who was way hotter than susan oliver herc- what the fuck are you talking about?), the way the big show and all those crazy looking muthas tossed everybody around (except t'pol)like they were... well merchandise; that shit worked. i know it's fun to kick a show when it's saved only for syndication purposes, but jesus, watch the frigging show you jackasses. the plotting was sharp,and if these serialized arcs are what they want to do with this proto trek i say go for it. and for my other trek peoples energized by this season i gotta say i like the shape the show is taking, namely the idea that the same old trek aspects that plagued the first 2 seasons actually backfired (ie earth gets attacked), requiring the dubious "correction" third season and now a season finally bent on creating the trek future we are accustomed to. i also liked the fact that they used last week's "family" homage to contextualize the first three years and said "we thought we could explore like it's the 23rd century but it's not" and move forward by getting back to what they should have done all along. frankly i like where it's going and i am excited by the possibilities, haters notwithstanding.

  • Oct. 31, 2004, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Only Way to Salvage Show

    by Itchy

    The only way to salvage this concept involves taking a real risk. Here's the simple plan: (1) move the show to HBO (2) have the ship go through a wormhole and get totally destroyed - the only survivors are Hoshi and T'Pol, who escape in an escape pod (3) Hoshi and T'Pol are rescued by an intergalactic porn film director (4) to survive, and get back to Earth, they are forced to act in a series of elicit bukakke holo-vids. That would get some viewers.

  • Oct. 31, 2004, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Captain Benjamin Sisko got FAT.

    by phatboi560

  • Oct. 31, 2004, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Z0D, I know Dukat was possessed by Pai Wraiths, I just thought i

    by Tall_Boy

    Go watch "Duet". That was the last really great Dukat episode. Sure its based on the solid old "Enemy Mine" formula but the classics are the best. Or even that great moment in the DS9 episode where the old station security system goes off and a lazer beam materializes in Ops. Lazer beam starts shooting at random people, Dukat beams in, orders a coffee, it obediently gives him a coffee & the lazer beam comes back and he only gives Kira a curt warning of "Doctor" before the thing almost blows her freakin head off. Or his whole complex relationship with his daughter. He was a multi-facted bad guy, who was genuinely a bad dude but thought A) he was doing good things for Bajor during the occupation and B) wasn't insanely retarded over the top. The second he brought that stupid Pai Wraith doll into the Founders and killed Jazdia is FREAKIN FIRE COMMING OUT OF HIS MOUTH was when he really went downhill as a complex baddie and became a boring one-none superpowered semi-mystic bad guy. (call it Pai Wraiths as much as you want, it was supposed to be

  • Jeez, what a leukwarm review. I have to disagree about their keeping original Trek lore as being odd. That's exactly how it SHOULD be done. So the hell what if we know it didn't happen. News flash, it's fiction. ************************ This episode was fair. They did give nods to the characters with scenes like the relaunching of Enterprise, the Trip/T'Pol fraction of a scene, and the scared shitless new ensign. I like that they were using strong episode to episode continuity. The trouble is, will they keep it up? Will we see scared-ensign again (and will we see him get vaporized like all scared new ensigns should be)? Will Archer continue to grow, or was "Home" the extent of his development for the next ten episodes? We didn't get into his mind very much this week, and that's something they need to change. Character development shouldn't be confined to certain episodes, it should continue during the plot/action driven episodes. That's one reason Storm Front sucked, it was so devoid of character. Borderland is an improvment, but I fear it will not be a trend. The Orion subplot wasn't boring, but only because it was showing us the long unseen Orions. Soong's escape attempt was predictable and thus not as good. I'd like them to use the Orions again. Like the Tholians, they are well established villains in Kirk's time, so they are reliable heavies to keep around. Alec Newman (Mua'Dib!!!) looks good even with a mullet, but I don't get the stilted delivery. The augments all sounded like really pretentious drama school students trying to play Shakespeare. It sort of works (the characters ARE pretentious after all), but it undercut the sympathy they were going for. All in all, this was good for a recent Trek episode, but it had better not be the full extent of the changes Enterprise will undergo this season or the mediocrity will resume.

  • Oct. 31, 2004, 9:14 p.m. CST

    Enterprise Rules

    by cornstalkwalker

    sorry that you don't like it. Perhaps its because you haven't watched it all the way through. Regardless, was a good episode.

  • Nov. 1, 2004, 10:43 a.m. CST

    "Stupid Fox News Channel!" - More Liberal propoganda

    by Jeditemple

    There's some more subliminal Liberal propoganda for you. Sometimes you have to read between the lines on this crappy website.

  • Nov. 1, 2004, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Mullets

    by howstone

    You knew that the one that got the girl and the power was the one with the hockey hair. Them augments always go for "business in the front, party in the back!"

  • Nov. 1, 2004, 1:24 p.m. CST

    info on green

    by Falcon5768

    col. Green wasnt in the eugenics war but another one... I think its safe to say that they will probably make him a WWIII character if they ever do talk about him now that they have made it clear WWIII and the Eugenics war where two different events.

  • Nov. 1, 2004, 7:34 p.m. CST

    I Enjoyed DS9' Variety

    by Ktak

    Sure, Deep Space 9 had epic space battles, political intrigue and even quasi-religious overtones, but the one thing DS9 did better than any of the other ST spin-off series was humor. There were some genuinely funny stories during its run, including the Tribble flashback, the Magnificent Seven-inspired Ferengi episode, the DS9 vs. Vulcans baseball game, Worf's bachelor party, and the episode where Jake and Nog try to acquire the vintage baseball for Sisko's birthday present. Episodes like these really gave you insights into the characters' personalities and histories, something that Enterprise has failed to do so far. I especially liked that DS9 wasn't afraid to focus an entire episode on secondary characters.

  • Nov. 2, 2004, 12:26 a.m. CST

    First season or two should have been set on earth.

    by Christopher3

    That way we could have seen what these people might have had to lose before going into the great unknown. It also would have been nice to examine in greater detail how Earth changed over 150 or so years. None of the Trek shows really dealt with that.

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