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Some lucky SOB has seen REVENGE OF THE SITH! Spoilers, green farts and details galore!!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a link over to the good ol' TheForce.Net message boards. It seems TFN's own Josh Griffith has seen a rough cut of Episode 3 and will be posting his review Nov. 1st. Now, on this one I'm letting Harry fill me in on the non-spoiler details... I myself haven't clicked over because I really, really want to know as little as possible about ROTS before I see it. I'm hoping Lucas knocks it outta the park, but I've been stung twice before. I'm hoping that some of my disappointment of the first two prequels stems from knowing almost the whole story before seeing the film. I think I already know too much about Episode 3. My way of thinking is this film, Episode 3, is THE reason to make a prequel trilogy. If he gets this one right, I can forgive the two lackluster prequels. I'd rather a brilliant Episode 3 and flawed Episodes 1 & 2 than brilliant Episodes 1 & 2 and a disappointing Episode 3, if you know what I mean.
I'm told that the TFN's message boards have some real spoilers, so tread carefully or crash on through if you dig that sort of thing. I'll wait for the trailer on THE INCREDIBLES next week for my fix.
Before I hit you with the link over to TFN, I'd like to mention a pair of non-spoilerish bits of info that I've heard is contained in the following link. It seems that Lucas has 2 version of ROTS. A PG version and a PG-13 version, which is what Josh Griffith saw. Now, knowing Lucas we'll see the PG version in theaters and on our first DVD... then in a couple years here comes the "harder" special edition of REVENGE OF THE SITH! Now, that last part is pure speculation on my part, but it sure fits Lucas' track record, don't it? And, apparently, Yoda farts... sigh... Why not go in and add him crapping his pants in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK or add a ripping fart when he dies in JEDI. If you're going to make him a joke, why not go all the way? There you have it for you who don't want massive, massive spoilers.
Anyway, here's the link over to the good stuff. Enjoy while I sit here trying to double cross my fingers until May.
A FARTING YODA... FOR GOD'S SAKE, LUCAS... ANYWAY, CLICK IT HERE TO READ ALL ABOUT YODA'S GAS AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!!!
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first
first time for me, too -
If there is a Yoda fart, then it must finally be decided that the whole reason Lucas made the prequel trilogy was the knock Star Wars down off the high horse of esteem that we'd all held it on for 20+ years. I sincerely hope this is just bullshit or just some stupid joke included in the rough cut that will never make it to final print.
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Seriously, I dodn't think I can pay for this movie knowing that Yoda cuts one. That's just ridiculous. I could maybe tolerate a Wookie blasting one, but not Master Yoda.
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please no.
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....huh?
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Oct 26, 2004 5:33:11 AM CDT
I also heard that when Yoda farts that he is holding his lightsa
by grabthars_hammer
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I'm going with the squealer, him being so small and all. However, it might be funny if he let out a real bassy fart.
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Difficult to predict, the gastrointestinal tract is.
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Star Wars, feh.
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I'm jumping out of my window and as I fall to sure death I will renounce all allegiance to Star Wars. And then... splat! I'll finally have peace. Please, tell me Yoda farting is a joke. PLEASE!
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Please New Trilogy/Lucas apologists, please try to justify this. I want to be amused by your pathetic attempts at rationalization.
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"You have no idea about that you are about to see"
I am sure of that. This movie will kick ass at a level little of us can barely imagine.
Lucas rules! -
We can go on and on...
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SmarkJobber, that is the funniest thing I've read here in weeks. I'm still laughing. Thanks.
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Oct 26, 2004 8:28:48 AM CDT
RenoNevada2000 I forgive your ignorance, Its quite simple and ju
by jaguart
You see, when the 'Midichlorians' process microbiomaterial to function and manipulate "The Force" they release a Sith byproduct. Because of Yoda's Light Side he just happens to have certain enzymes missing that allows him to process this Sith byproduct. His Sith byproducts pass through the stomach and into the large intestine and meets up with billions of hungry Darkside bacteria -- the natural "intestinal Force" that all Jedi have in their large intestine, and leave them open to temptation to the Darkside under certain diet and stressful conditions. This Darkside bacteria is happy to digest the Sith material. They produce a variety of Evil gases, that surrounds and penetrates everything. The Revenge of the Sith is nothing more than bacterial infestation caused from drinking water contaminated by animals or leaking sewer lines.
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Oct 26, 2004 8:55:28 AM CDT
"It's like a thousand asses screamed out in terror, and suddenly
by nflrefugee
Could be worse; Chewbacca could have cut one. I bet that would linger.
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Oct 26, 2004 9:02:38 AM CDT
Star What? Oh Star WARS, yeah I vaguely remember those three fil
by regicidal_maniac
*crickets chirp* Does anybody who saw the OT in its original cinema run really give a shit anymore?
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So they are in some new battle in a field somewhere off in another distant planet while another new baddie is trying to get away when a large number of clones for the empire appear over the hill and have surrounded a bunch of the Jar-Jar
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Why can't Chewie fart instead?
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A brilliant ONE, TWO and THREE!!! It doesn't matter how good this film is. It can't stand on its own. The stench from the other two will waft over and neutralize any good qualities it may posess.
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Oct 26, 2004 9:36:05 AM CDT
'Pull My Finger Yoda' Toys will be the hottest item of the seaso
by regicidal_maniac
YODA
(leaning sideways)
Upon us the winds of change are. A bad feeling about this I have.
MACE
Indeed, I...
(wrinkling his nose in disgust)
Oh geez did you just cut one?
YODA
Uh the uh Dark Side clouds everything.
MACE
(not impressed)
...
YODA
Yea uh...
(waves his hand in front of Mace's face)
Smell nothing you can.
MACE
(staring at Yoda)
You know that's not gonna work.
YODA
Hmmm... powerful anger the Midichlorians feel. Order not the Dianoga stew again shall I.
MACE
They oughta call YOU Windu. -
What the hell is wrong with this guy! He just doesn't know his audience. The fans who loved the original movies are now in their 30s!!! Give us what we want! Enough of the kiddie shit. What an ass! I'm not buying and of DVDs until he makes up his mind.
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ACTUALLY YOU ANTICIPANT YODEL- the REAL reason to make a trilogy is NOT for the THIRD FILM- otherwise- ahem- THERE WOULD ONLY BE ONE FILM. THE ONE THAT F*CKING MATTERS. JESUS!!! The real reason- the real reason- the real reason- STOP EXCUSING THESE SHITTY PREQUELS!!! The third film is the only one that matters. Yeah right. STUPIDITY. I can't wait for this one to suck whalecock so that FINALLY you clowns will be out of ludicrous excuses.
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he hasn't seen this movie. he's just pulling our leg like those fucks who reviewed AVP after just seeing a few clips off the net. yoda farting? bullshit. lucas is going downhill, but he hasn't gone that far yet.
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if I were the first to see some shitty "draft" version of Revenge of the Syphilis (makes you wonder just what this guy saw since the prequels are pretty much ONLY fx)- I wouldn't consider myself "lucky"- I'd consider myself bored to tears for two hours while wooden actors enact some self-revered "legend" that has lost all credibilty... Jeez grow up already and let's talk about some REAL exciting shit like SIN CITY and THE BROTHER'S GRIMM and KING KONG... F*ck this LOSING FRANCHISE already- I know MILLIONS of you poor souls out there have wasted BILLIONS of dollars on Star Wars figures, lunchboxes and toilet seat covers- isn't it time to cut your losses and move on? Lucas wouldn't even wipe his ass with your fanmail and any interview wherein he addresses fans of the ORIGINAL TRILOGY attests to that- Why not shake clear of the spell and let this JACKASS know what his UPDATED franchise is really worth- STAY HOME when SITH hits theatres- give this swollen asshole a real jolt and don't even let it hit top ten films on opening weekend. That would be AMERICAN JUSTICE.
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THAT page makes this one look like the Taj Mahal. Ye gods, can't ANYBODY web code a message board that doesn't look like ass?
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I'm guessing that Yoda will indeed fart while drinking a strange wookie brew given to him as a peace offering. The fart will be tasefully done, like playboy.
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...you predictable retards.
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"Crop dusting am I. Pinch a loaf I must." Lucas is a craptwat.
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Oct 26, 2004 11:48:12 AM CDT
Did you prequel hating cockheads ever think there might be a tot
by theginger twit
I'm sure he's not sitting in the council and decides to let one rip to lighten the mood. This will be a dark film. I'm sure there will be some welcome funny moments. Rember that yoda goes into hiding. Perhaps he farts because he's under threat and needs cover- ie, old senile farting creature. You guys should really get yourselves some sex.
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Oct 26, 2004 12:19:57 PM CDT
Just when I thought George lucas couldn't sink any lower...
by call-me-ismael
he does something BRILLIANT and totally redeems himself!!! Yoda FARTS! Pure unadulterated genius! Just think about it! The audacity of it! The shakespearian quality of it! At the most tense and dark moment of the film, when tension is building up and the audience can't take it any longer...Prrrrt! Yoda lets one rip!! oh boy oh brother the prospect of it makes me all giddy inside, like there's a party in my stomach and everyone's invited!! oh its good to be a star wars fan again!! Who would've thought the old wanker still had it in him!! now if you'll excuse me, its time for my medicine....
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Oct 26, 2004 12:20:31 PM CDT
Just when I thought George lucas couldn't sink any lower...
by call-me-ismael
he does something BRILLIANT and totally redeems himself!!! Yoda FARTS! Pure unadulterated genius! Just think about it! The audacity of it! The shakespearian quality of it! At the most tense and dark moment of the film, when tension is building up and the audience can't take it any longer...Prrrrt! Yoda lets one rip!! oh boy oh brother the prospect of it makes me all giddy inside, like there's a party in my stomach and everyone's invited!! oh its good to be a star wars fan again!! Who would've thought the old wanker still had it in him!! now if you'll excuse me, its time for my medicine....
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Ok, that was amusing. But in a good way.
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Good grief. Remember when the only comic relief in SW came from a pair of droids? First JarJar and now this. What next? Riverdancing stormtroopers?
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In a pivotal moment of SITH- before all tension breaks- Yoda pulls a gungan out of his asshole to the delight of popcorn peppered prepubescent tykes theatre-wide... The bottle shaped gungan is the cause of Yoda's gas problems- but all is saved when the gungan, adorned with a crown of inner intestinal shit, spreads a (literally) shit eating grin and says as his whispy tongue searches out nutty flavors on his shit-splacked lips : MESA FUCKING KILL THIS WHOLE FRANCHISE
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Seriously, you all claim to hate Star Wars, and yet you all flock like locusts to post your disgust in poorly composed rants. Grow the fuck up. You people just expected too damned much from the prequel films. 20 years of hype and anticipation couldn't have been satisfied no matter what the prequel films had turned out to be. All of this bullshit whining about the acting is just laughable. The dialogue in the original films wasn't exactly flawless. And to complain about the CG sets etc. Who the fuck cares whether some set designer had to carve backdrops out of styrofoam or whether they had to paint them in a computer program? Does it really matter? If you are so hellbent on picking the film apart and are incapable of suspending your disbelief for two hours, save yourself the cost of admission, and save the rest of us from having to hear you whine, and stay the fuck home. The originals are great, the new ones aren't quite as good, but so fucking what? They are what they are intended to be. You people expected the same feeling of astonishment that you got when you first saw that Star Destroyer bearing down on the Tantive IV in Episode IV and it just wasn't a realistic expectation. No matter what Lucas had done he couldn't have topped the accomplishments he made with the first 3 films. The world is saturated with Sci Fi and fantasy films now. The paths that Lucas pioneered are well traveled now and it's hard to do something now that's truly original let alone as powerful as or as "never before seen" as A New Hope was the first time we all saw it.
Sci fi fans aren't supposed to be the bitter, self absorbed egotists that some of you people seem to be. Unless you have directed a successful film you should just shut the fuck up and quit trying to be a goddamned critic. Obviously lots of us still enjoy these films so what the hell do you think you accomplish by coming in here and bringing everyone down? You aren't important enough to change anyones mind so just get over yourselves and shut the fuck up if you don't have anything relevant to add. -
The Yoda farting thing will probably not make it in the final cut.
2nd...the movie itself looks really KICKASS!! -
...how painful is Jar Jar's death cuz that motherfucker better die or else, no matter how good Episode III is.
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thanks for clearing that up for me Scythe of Luna, Blade of Moon- or whatever you are- now I know the reason why the prequels are so fucking lame. It's not because the stories were dreadful, the acting was worse, the cgi creatures too cute for a babie's playpen, Jake LLoyd too gay for a lavender school bus and that the CLONE WARS got relegated to a fucking CARTOON- It's because I HATE MYSELF. I hate myself and I want to die! Wah!
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But you put it out there like it is GL approved and going into the final cut. In fact, some posts said it was just some of the crew fucking around putting that in there. There goes AICN, trying to anger the Star Wars fans by putting up stupid shit, when the real content of the threads is in fact amazing. What, a little controversy generate a few extra hits for you? Mad that you got booted from Skywalker Ranch? Between this and stupid shit like the liberal bent this site has, it's getting worse and worse.
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Oct 26, 2004 2:00:28 PM CDT
"I fart in your general direction, like my father before me!"
by salvatoregravano
"Mudhole? Slimy? Not swamp gas this is that you in the air smell, ahahah!"
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I hope you can smell it- I hope the whole theatre can snort up Yoda's putrid fart wafting from digital smell-o-vision widescreen 3-D. I hope it only adds to the nausea of the oily splat-buttered popcorn you jerklovers are choking on- and then as that spoiled hot-dog smell fills your mind- I hope that Yoda turns toward the screen- smirking like a MOTHERFUCKER and that he gives you all the middle finger- saying "GEORGE LUCAS SAYS GO FUCK YOURSELF, HE DOES"
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Oh yeah, and your Talkback fucking sucks too. Ever heard of organizing posts by TIME OF SUBMISSION??? Dumbasses.
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Why would you act all indignant over the Yoda fart, saying "Why doesn't Lucas just make Yoda shit his pants in ESB", when you haven't gone over to the TFN site to see what was actually said about the fart scene? If you don't know what the fuck is going on, why you getting all crazy about it? Dumbasses.
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Actually I'm pretty sure the packaging for Yoda's action figure in Japan roughly translates to "Senile Farting Creature".
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At some point when the clone troopers turn against the jedi the mighty Yoda as a last resort pretends to be the pet of a wookie(don't recall if it's Chewie or not) and farts to try and make his act look authentic so that he can escape. I still think this scene will be horrible, but at least now you know why he does it.
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Oct 26, 2004 2:08:31 PM CDT
That t-shirt existed years before Ep. III went into production,
by salvatoregravano
It's about as significant as the naked Leia posters or Darth Boner.
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Oct 26, 2004 2:10:01 PM CDT
Hey retards - why are you taking what Quint says about the FART
by lamerz
He's too fucking lazy to go over to the site and actually read what was said about the fart. He has no idea what is going on. Pull your head out of your collective ass and realize that the entire story above is bullshit except for the part that Griffen is leaving Nov. 1, that he is supposed to have a review of what he's seen of the movie posted that day.
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At some point when the clone troopers turn on the jedi, as a last resort to escape the mighty Yoda pretends to be the pet of a wookie(don't recall if it is Chewie or not) and farts to make his act look authentic. I still think this scene will be horrible, but now you know why he does it. It also seems to fit with the act that Yoda put on for Luke when they first met.
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on the Return of the Jedi Extra Special Edition DVD, with the CGI added scene of Chewie giving Leia a Cleveland steamer after bringing down the Death Star.
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this is the funniest talkback ever. STAR WARS FUCKING SUCKS
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Personally I have enjoyed the prequels so far.
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just because a movie sucks wild ass doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. I find the prequels unintentionally hilarious- so I guess it can be said that yes, I enjoy them as well.
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as bush would say - stung once, shame..uhh..stung twice, uhh yeah! star wars rocks!
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This would explain the green color. That little guy is rotten inside.
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JUST PLEASE TAKE A LOOK at how delusional you Star Wars apologists are. PVECU WRITES: "This movie will kick ass at a level little of us can barely imagine." I can't BARELY IMAGINE what the fuck he's talking about- sounds like he's talking about FUCKING ACID OR SOME OTHER MIND-ALTERING SUBSTANCE. THE GINGER TWIT WRITES: "This will be a dark film. I'm sure there will be some welcome funny moments." HUH? Nothing darker than some "welcome funny moments"- oh- you mean to say that it'll be TOO DARK- SO THAT AS EVERYONE IS SITTING THERE SQUIRMING IN THEIR SEATS FROM THE BLINDING EVIL DARKNESS Yoda farts and everyone let's out a humorous relaxed breath, happy again and smiling wiping their foreheads with a collective "whew!". SCYTHEOFLUNA WRITES: "The originals are great, the new ones aren't quite as good, but so fucking what? They are what they are intended to be." okay- I'm only guessing here then- that the prequels INTENDED to FLAT OUT SUCK. HOORAYFORERIC WRITES: "the movie itself looks really KICKASS!!" I can't go on... this is just SO BAD
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If Yoda farts then nothing will redeem that movie. Now Lucas will probably think "oh great the fans are making a big deal out of nothing again", and I suppose there's no real way we can justify why Yoda shouldn't fart, other then the fact that it just seems so ridiculously wrong. Fart jokes in TPM were bad enough. That planetarium scene in Episode II where Yoda was annoying was bad enough. Now we're going to have a scene which combines both fart jokes and Yoda being annoying. Is Lucas really that afraid to throw out a movie with a very dark tone that he has to resort to such desperate measures to lighten it up?
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God bless you John.
http://www.nme.com/news/110317.htm -
Remember all the relief in Rob Roy? Maybe this can work. Now if we could get Tarkin to vomit... that would totally rule.
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Oct 26, 2004 4:25:42 PM CDT
Did any of you guys ever think that this may be someting that wi
by eye_h8_u
No why take the time to actually analyze what Griffen is alluding to. How the hell does really anyone know whether this will make it into the actual movie? You guys are already accepting it as gospel. You fucking anti-fanboys are so predictable. You guys simply look for any negative prequel rant that you can attatch yourselves to. Fucking losers!
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Fart jokes in Star Wars, Fart jokes in LOTR. _____ Fanboy reaction to fart joke in Star Wars: "Aaargh! How dare Luca$ shit all over our beloved story? How dare he have so much disrespect? Burn Luca$ burn!!!!!!!" Fanboy reaction to fart joke in FOTR:EE: "Never before has a filmmaker had so much respect for the original work!!! Jackson is god!!!! Everyone buy the EE, it is SO MUCH BETTER than the theatrical version!!!" ... Yes I loathe fart jokes, but goodness do I despise fanboys even more.
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Make a movie "dark". It doesn't matter if that even necessarily fits the tone of story (ie, Episode One), the movie must be "dark". Actors can't be "wooden"; even if the characters they portray are emotionally-reserved Jedi Knights or queens of entire planets, they must have "personality". Midichlorians CANNOT exist. It doesn't matter that the human (or any other) body would need some sort of vessel to tap into the Force, Midichlorians somehow take away from the spirituality of being a Jedi. Oh yeah, and Darth Maul didn't get enough screen time. Even though he's a total bitch who got taken down by a Jedi in training, he still should've had more screen time. In fact, fuck it, ALL OF EPISODE ONE should've been about Darth Maul. Nevermind the story of Anakin Skywalker giving in to the Dark Side, the fall of the Jedi and the collapse of the Republic, we should've seen nothing but Darth Maul throughout the whole prequel trilogy. Fanboys do entirely too much thinking. And they really shouldn't, they're not equipped for it.
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Oct 26, 2004 4:38:58 PM CDT
Ginger Twit. Your sitting there thinking of reasons why a 900 ye
by jon l. ander
...and we're the ones that need some sex?
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It sounds freakin awesome! Apart from yoda farting, this movie is going to blow our socks off! I can't wait for the full review!
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...but I think Yoda farting is a great idea. Hell, if the movie is just ninety minutes of a little green guy passing gas, I might even watch the stupid thing. Otherwise, I'm probably going to skip it.
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From BOTH sides, this talkback is hysterical! Oh, I almost forgot, Lamerz, you sound like the kind of guy that spends hours every night just trying to bend himself in half so he can lick his own balls... keep going for the gold!
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Oct 26, 2004 5:19:04 PM CDT
I would have liked AOTC alot better if I hadn't known it scene
by wonkabar
SPOILER-FREE FOR EPISODE III! Hopefully this movie doesn't suck TPM...but the yoda thing...man, the phart is strong with Lucass
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You, sir, are a genius. Never thought there could be such a thing as creative fart humor, but that was classic. +5 for you!
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The same dude that saw the film told said that the Yoda fart was a gag reel scene that the ILM guys put in the rough cut to freak out the die-hards there to watch it.
Josh Griffin is a die-hard fan and was invited along with a very select few to view it.
C'mon...I don't think GL would drop to this low.
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feel the phart
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MORONS YOU ARE YES!!!!!
The fart scene is a gag, its not in the film this was a rough cut and while the actual context of the scene might remain (Chewie protects Yoda by having him pretend to be a pet) the fart wont, it was ment to make the people who where watching shit their pants thinking it would be kept.
This film is MUCH darker than the rest, to the point where Lucas himself has said it will likely get a PG13 rating in the current climate and they might have to change things to keep it PG if they go that route. Course it would require you to RTFA to know that...... something thatt even Slashdot readers manage to excel at compaired to you dumb shits -
So why the fuck are you here, if you can't stand the prequels? Seems you would have better things to do than post your condescending opinion about a film that you think will "flat out suck". We obviously had different expectations when we saw the prequel films. I knew they wouldn't live up to the originals so I did enjoy them. No they aren't perfect, but since I didn't expect them to top or equal the originals I didn't cry like a little girl with disappointment when the credits rolled. CG creatures and kid friendly puppets? Are you forgetting about the Ewoks Salacious crumb, and the Jawas. They had just as many lame characters in the originals as they do in the new ones. They have just updated the camera tricks. Stop motion/ CG, in the end it doesn't matter. Star Wars is just as hokey and lame as it ever was. For some reason nerds are trying to take themselves way too seriously these days. Well, you have fun tearing this film apart, but really if you have already convinced yourself that you will hate it, why the fuck are you still here?
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Fucking brilliant, man! Yoda would totaly let out squeekers. Maybe with a little juicy midicholian squirt to go with it.
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Oct 26, 2004 8:43:21 PM CDT
Why not pull the OTHER leg...it plays the Darth Vader Theme!
by techtite
As Tarkin once said: "This bickering is pointless." Anyone remember the "leaked script" discussed in an AICN talkback, not too long ago...? There were talks of Lando's father "Grando," among other things. Well; clearly, that was bull. This new batch of rumors? BULL. Keep in mind; there are several clever "trolls" out there. Not all of them are as blatant as "Star Wars stinks nyah, nyah!" No; many of them are like "Um, yeah; I saw ROTS before you did...and, um...Yoda farts in it...nyah, nyah!" Pull the other leg please
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Yes i will be paying to see this, i'll sit through just about anything to see the Vader/Kenobi fight.
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Midichlorians? That's where Lucas lost me. The one stitch of mythology he was able to muster with Eps. IV, V, VI was that you had to have that certain "something" to become a Jedi. Once Lucas gave that "something" a name...Midichlorians...he fucked up. Why didn't Obi Wan just give Luke that little Midichlorians test in "A New Hope" to find out if he was indeed Jedi material? And don't get me started about a flying R2...there are so many instances in the original 3 eps. where THAT little trick would have come in handy! That said...I'll be ponying up the $8.50 to see how this shit ends. I'm obviously holding my breath...900 year old Jedi farts can be nothing but nasty.
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You know, if Yoda farts it won't matter. THis talkbalk alone makes it worh it. I haven't laughed so much in ages. God bless the geeks. Peace.
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Please stfu and give it a fucking rest on how you have been burned twice and don't wanna be disappointed. Not only is it fucking dumb as fuck to say, but its something worse than that... it's fucking BORING! MOVE THE FUCK ON ALL FUCKING READY.
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when are they going to get rid of that nitwit Quint? His reporting is brainless. He contributes total shit... what is the deal is he tied in too deep to fucking lose? He is a moron of the highest order. He has yet to post anything on RotS that isn't old news.
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How soon we forget. Yoda's first appearance to Luke was when he was pretending to be foolish and ridiculous little creature. If he had farted then, it would have been right in character. His "stupid little critter" personna may evolve for camouflage in the next movie. And then, who knows? Besides, how do you think he flew around the cave in that famous duel? Leg power? All that aside, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a thread. Think I let go a couple of Arrakeen Stoneburners go myself, there.
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Oct 27, 2004 3:28:21 AM CDT
Yoda does not fart in Episode III - you people will believe anyt
by razorback
The fact that you people will believe anything shows just how pathetic the prequel bashing has become. Yoda does not fart. You can write a check for it and cash it anytime you want. JG got it wrong and I think may have even made it up because he is pissed at Star Wars.com for snipping the balls of his site.
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if you have grandparents, yo should know that Yoda farts
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Oct 27, 2004 6:04:18 AM CDT
Guys, come on. Give Yoda a break. If you had to deal with Fran
by llghtst0rmer
"Strong am I with the Bean-o. But not that strong."
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Don't you all agree that this site is finished?!! Look at the home page! What is all this crap??!! Do yourselves a favour and go to sites that actually report movie news that is worth a read! Sites like ComingSoon, Chud, JoBlo and filmforce. Then you'll read news that isn't complete bullshit and is actually NEWS! Ya know Harry - NEWS! thats right thats stuff that is NEW and not OLD!! Thats why they call it NEWS!! Is anyone seriously interested in the crap they post on this site these days??!! Why am I here you may ask - to laugh at how pathetic it is! Harry is obviuosly too busy or too bribed by a certain studio to report an REAL fanboy news! Jump ship now fanboys while ya still can! If you agree then lets start a riot in the talkback here!!!!
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Scythe of Luna is one confusing bird, isn't she? She's (please say it's not a GUY with such a gay moniker) attacking ME for trashing these horrid films and then she herself writes: "Star Wars is just as hokey and lame as it ever was."... Not really a GLOWING review from a Star Wars fan. If it's so HOKEY AND LAME then don't catch a f*cking mouth with us who trash it. Your defense of it certainly doesn't do it any better. Stupid insipid little bird! Here's some breadcrumbs for you to peck at...
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Only joking! :P Hey, why are you guys winging about Yoday farting? It's all natural, every creature does it - even little space monsters!
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Talk about having issues... geez, you can't seem to let it go that some people love these movies. Why is it so important for you to trash the movies and people who like them? What does it prove to your little ego? Is it so important that everyone think like you?
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There are the haters and the fanboys, then there are the fanboys of the haters and the haters of the fanboys. Then we have the haters of the fanboys of the haters, and fanboys of the haters of the fanboys. Then there are the rest, those are the people who come to AICN that actually get laid and have lives. ==== Representing the rest!
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first off this is an open talkback where I have the right to say that the films blow. secondly- if you check some of the initial posts (I know it's confusing seeing what came first here) by talkbackers such as SCYTHEOFLUNA and others- you'll see that the apologists are just as seething, just as rude- and in most cases more delusional... other than that- this is ENTERTAINING TO ME. I am bored SHITLESS at work and it is MASSIVE ENJOYMENT for me to come on talkback and trash this ludicrous franchise- WHICH I WAS ONCE A FAN OF- further giving me the right to say what the fuck I will. What have you contributed to this talkback? LAMERZ for certain. You're like this timid little Star Wars geek- who is afraid to write "OH GOLLY I LOVE THE PREQUELS" because you know that people will say you have brain damage. Then you see people like me trashing Lucas and all of a sudden you can't take anymore- "Cocolopez, What the fuck is wrong with you?" Oh Boo Hoo get over it and stop being so goddamn sensitive just because there's hoards of people that think that the prequels suck wild ass. I'm sure in your fantasy realm we'd all be swinging light sabors dressed like yoda- hypnotized by any piece of unmitigated crap that Lucas dangles in front of our faces. Sorry pal- welcome to real life. In real life people don't swallow every lump of shit we're told is rock candy. In real life- on talkbacks- people like me take titanic steaming craps on movies worth their running time in baby mustard. F*ck off LAMERZ
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oh so you are a sexist pig as well as a moron. No asshole, I am certainly not female, and if you weren't so full of shit, you might have something to talk about other than my moniker. So fuck you for that one
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the joke though Scythey is that I KNEW you were actually a guy. Figured I'd get under your skin a little. I'M SO GLAD TO SEE IT WORKED! :)
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Oct 27, 2004 2:19:29 PM CDT
SPOILER - FANBOYS WISHES COME TRUE - SPOILER - FANBOYS WISHES CO
by cocolopez
EXCLUSIVE*******EXCLUSIVE*******HALFWAY THROUGH "SITH" ACTUAL AINTITGAY FANBOY TALKBACKERS "SCYTHEOFLUNA" AND "LAMERZ" APPEAR IN SEX SCENE WITH WHISPY TONGUED GUNGAN -- AFOREMENTIONED CURIOUS GUNGAN'S WHIP-ROPED TONGUE FEVERISHLY CLEANS OUT FANBOYS' ASSHOLES AS THEY CREAM THEMSELVES WHILST QUIVERING AND BLATHERING INCOHERENT RANTS TO THE TUNE OF "THAT LUCAS- OOOOH THAT LUCAS"**********
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Yoda is gay!!
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If it's really only all about "hating"- then how come LOTR doesn't have even a fraction of haters that this shitty prequel trilogy has? WHY ON EARTH would I want to hate on QUALITY, WELL-DONE, WELL-WRITTEN, WELL-ACTED, WELL-SHOT films? I myself have an EXTENSIVE dvd collection and it includes it's fair share of sci-fi. Really guys- these prequels aren't even "okay". They are EYEBALL GLAZERS and they are among the WORST sci-fi films of the last few years. I can understand a love for a franchise- I really can. But this franchise is messing with your lives- EVEN if there was no nasty talkback concerning the prequels- you fanboys would still feel a lump in your chest amongst all your hugging each other that the next installments almost out. That's because DEEP DOWN you's know how bad these prequels are. Really- it's just not HEALTHY to not admit to the failure of these films. It's F*CKING PSYCHO is what it is. Also a little bit sad. I mean COME ON LOOK AT THE EXCUSES EVEN THIS GOON WRITING THAT THE ONLY REASON FOR A TRILOGY IS THE THIRD MOVIE THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE FUCKING SENSE FOR CHRIST SAKES... It just looks really bad. LOL
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Oct 27, 2004 2:57:43 PM CDT
OKAY, COCOLOPEZ so scytheofluna is a lame moniker? how about YOU
by scytheofluna
Seriously what the fuck is that? You don't like Star Wars so you're going to make fun of my login name? What are you like 14 years old? And make no mistake shit for brains, insinuating that someone is female based solely on their internet name is ignorant. Besides, judging by your hostile attitude it doesn't take a genius to deduce that you're a 90 pound pussy who's trying to overcompensate for your weak character and absence of self esteem. My wife is 5 feet tall and SHE COULD KICK YOUR SORRY ASS. So you can make any pale attempt at insulting me that you want, but the fact remains that if you don't like Star Wars you really don't have any business on this thread. The rest of us don't owe you any explanation as to why we enjoy the films, so if I think they are cheesy and also fun, what the fuck do you care? So get a fucking life. Go watch whatever lame ass movie catches your fancy, and finally GET OVER YOURSELF, nobody gives a shit what you think.
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You are mental midgets, short and dumb... here is your ass which is where you put your thumb... when you see a Talkback you jump in... while we are mental racecars, you're a Schwinn...
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Okay, my little "I'm a little teapot" joke was silly, I know... but damn it was fun! You know it! This really has been an immensely entertaining talkback... it reminds me of the Mr. Show sketch about the president farting... :)
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You are bored, and at work, so you feel it necessary to start shit with people? You are definitely a powerhouse of maturity. Nobody is defending the prequels. We just get sick of listening to jilted fanboyz such as yourself who feel it's their obligation to spew inane, negative bullshit. You don't have anything relevant to say, so you talk shit and insult people. That's what teenage idiots do, so go ahead, relieve your boredom by being a complete prick. I will start taking you seriously when you grow some pubes, or when you contribute something intelligent to the discourse. 'Till then fuck yourself.
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Mesa gonna shit my pants! Scythe of Luna gonna send his five foot tall wife to kick my ass! Run for the hills! Hey man I'm sorry. I'm so scared of your WIFE that I take it all back, dude. Star Wars fucking rocks. It's like- totally Yoda dude. Sith is gonna kick ass and take numbers! Just please dude- leave your five foot wife home- I'm paralyzed with fright!
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I think all these great fart jokes just underscore the connection between the work of George Lucas, and that of Kevin Smith, king of dick-and-fart jokes...
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yeah your "Yoda is gay" post showed us how much of a "mental racecar" you are. ZOOM ZOOM! Look at the brain on RETARD over there!
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It was a reference to the "SuperMan and everyone associated with him are gay" threads going on above and below this one... it's called "contextual humor"... watch me speed on by you... ;)
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C'mon folks. George is mocking us all...
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you got me super guy! hey you win the race buddy! next time I'll just hop over to another talkback page on aintitcool so that I know what the fuck you're talking about! Oh shit here he comes again- IT'S SUPER PERSON- lapping me- in the lead- and jesus LOOK AT THE BRAIN ON HIM
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"You're a mental midget." "Fuck off LAMERZ." "CocoLopez is a stupid name." Brilliant fuckin discussions on here. SuperPerson - you're my hero.
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Maybe you shouldn't automatically assume that when people say something you don't quite understand, they're just being idiots... in fact, YOU should probably NEVER assume that.. ;)
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No- actually I still assume that you're quite the idiot. I also never apologized- I'm sure since no one compares to your superior intellect you take most statements as encrypted apologies. The fact is, aside from my prior assumption, Super Guy, you're a fucking toolbox. ;)
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No, I don't take everything everyone says as an encrypted apology, you tiresome little person... just what YOU say, because you have SO very much to apologize for...
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Oct 27, 2004 4:06:44 PM CDT
cocolopez - why don't you, superperson and scythe take your dick
by lamerz
somewhere else so you can compare wads after you blow each other off.
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you sound like some gay old man with a monocle and sewn in knee patches- "tiresome little person" and ooooooh CooooCoooo- jesus you really do consider yourself brilliant, don't you? What an ass. I wonder how I have "so much to apologize for" if you're so smarter and over my head- for surely than you shouldn't be offended by my words or actions- you're SUPER PERSON- master among minds- always in on the in joke. One step ahead of the short bus. I found you privately amusing until you wrote more than two sentences. Now you're no longer my punchinello- just a fucking asshole.
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No, you don't have anything to apologize to ME for.... just the rest of the world... I'm fine either way... and as for acting superior, well, I just figured maybe you'd like a taste of your own medicine, based on your posts on this talkback, and it's been fun for me, so we all win!
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Oct 27, 2004 4:11:40 PM CDT
coco - so you are not healthy unless you admit the failure of th
by lamerz
That goes back to my point earlier... why are you unhappy unless everyone agrees with you that the prequels suck? Can't you forge ahead and proclaim your opinion and accept the fact that others might legitimately disagree with you?
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Do you think you are the first person to ever post that? Didn't you see the other posts on here with Revenge of the Shit and whatnot? Dumbass.
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are you STILL prattling on, playing the harlequin- waiting for someone to give you attention? Oops! I just did! Okay boys- I'm bailing out of this septic tank- I'll leave it Lamerz and Sooooooper Gaaaaay to be further entertainment on this failed enterprise... Til we meet again! I bid you... Fuckoff!
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Coco sez - "I'm sure in your fantasy realm we'd all be swinging light sabors dressed like yoda- hypnotized by any piece of unmitigated crap that Lucas dangles in front of our faces. Sorry pal- welcome to real life. In real life people don't swallow every lump of shit we're told is rock candy. In real life- on talkbacks- people like me take titanic steaming craps on movies worth their running time in baby mustard." LAMERZ sez - Yea, you got me figured out. Only the fucking Star Wars freaks without a life that dress up in Darth Maul outfits can like the prequels, right? You are a stupid fuck. A stupid fuck with the right to say whatever about SW, but a stupid fuck none the less. Too bad for you asshole. Your mind is so closed that you cannot imagine that others might have likes and dislikes that differ from your own. Should all people be MADE to hate the prequels to please your little ass?
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You were the asshole still posting to me when I hadn't been here for hours. I was responding to your asinine bullshit that you insist on putting out there for the world to read. Recap - you are a closed-minded tard. Done.
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Oct 27, 2004 4:27:31 PM CDT
And once more to AICN - Your talkbacks suck, your writers suck (
by lamerz
Again, how fucking tough is it to display posts by time submitted. STUPID ASSES.
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Oct 27, 2004 4:28:52 PM CDT
LAMERZ I wasn't aware that you had a beef with me, what's your
by scytheofluna
Seriously, don't lump me in the same category as Locolopez. I just get sick of listening to fuckwits like him bitch. Personally I don't have expectations for ROTS either way. He can handle the "dickfest" by himself.
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Oct 27, 2004 4:47:22 PM CDT
ENOUGH ALREADY. YOU FUCKERS HAVE WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HAND
by scytheofluna
If you think these films suck, excercise your right to not fucking go. However, if any of you honestly think that you can convince anyone else to share in your opinion, you need to call your dealer because your stash is laced with crack. Nobody gives a shit what anybody else thinks. We have established this. To continue in these reach arounds, and bitch-slap-fests is juvenile. Some of us like Star Wars, some of us don't, and some of us are just here to start shit with people. Those of you who are here for the latter of these reasons need to grow the fuck up. I'm at work and getting paid too, but that doesn't mean I am going to try to provoke people just because you are bored. Unless you want to be percieved as a witless prick with nothing better to do than piss people off.
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Oct 27, 2004 5:06:17 PM CDT
I also love that LOCOLOPEZ only stayed long enough to start shit
by scytheofluna
He makes a smug comment and then runs off like a little bitch. You see Coco the monkey, if you want to be taken seriously, you have to maintain some semblance of coherance. Rather than just flaming people, we could engage in open debate and honest discourse. But no, Locolopez is much more "entertained" BY ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE ASS. Nobody is impressed with that kind of shit, and it amuses me to no end that he actually thinks that anyone cares what you have to say.
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Oct 27, 2004 5:38:27 PM CDT
no, not dry. fart with juice, or fart not. but there is no "dry"
by dr.bulber
yoda sits around the campfire with other jedi eating baked beans. no wait- thats spaceballs 2.- "well, the old force didnt run out of gags afterall."
now my memory of yoda lifting the starfighter out of the swamp will be irreversibly stained.- i mean- scarred. -
The cool out of this world creatures and civilizations in the first two movies had a believable and self-respecting context people could enjoy. That changed with ROTJ. Not to mention Jabba was originally a pudgy irish-like man(probably Watto was Lucas' variation of wanting to include every racial sterotype even though he denies it). The rest of the muppets make no sense. Crumb, twileks, they could have all come from the muppets or sesamee street. The only cool bits were the boba-fett pieces where he nods to the Leia-bounty hunter. (And now voice is changed for the Maorian stereotype quota). Don't get started with the ewoks, lame cubby bear disguises for ripping off LOTR hobbits. TPM was mostly an egomaniacal crusade by Lucas to prove his cater-to-kiddies forumla made a good SW movie to try to convince everyone he didn't just do it for marketing. Talk about deluding oneself to relieve a guilty conscience. LOTR succeeds because similar to the first 2 SW movies they completely transported audiences to a different world. Most everything had a reason that worked. Of course the first two SW was for kids, but it was about telling kids about growing up and choosing between good and evil. Fighting for freedom in the face of death. In ROTJ most of the self-respecting themes of the first two movies are not only spoofed but a mockery of itself. The Vader and Luke thread was the only story salvaged with any self-respect in ROTJ. The rest was a marketing ploy with no redeeming value to kids. Wha,t even your teddy bears can set up rolling stone traps to trip adults?
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It would be amazing if he isn't seen in this at all.
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Oct 27, 2004 9:54:24 PM CDT
NEW RULE: Anyone who writes the word "sigh" to show his own frus
by bill maher
It's kind of funny that you object to Yoda farting by writing the word sigh. Both are functions performed in public by people with no class. Yoda is 900 years old, so he probably has bowel problems, whereas you are just a fuckhead. People who write "cough" are also assholes.
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Remember, these same buffoons actually thought N Sync was gonna have a starring role in AOTC, and were gonna be standing there next to Sam Jackson singing Bye Bye Bye.
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The movie-- who cares? The moronic, blatantly abusive flame-attacks-- shove 'em. I want more Yodaspeak fart jokes! Especially from Regicidal_Maniac. When I read that post, I laughed so hard, I cried. Is that what they meant by, "use the Force?" ROTFLMAO.
--And yeah, I'd really appreciate it if the posts were in submission order too. -
It amuses you to no end? You seem anything BUT amused- Judging by your posts you seem irritated, pissed, and practically in fucking TEARS because not everybody likes your Star Wars. Let's not forget that you started this whole fucking thing and now I'm the bad guy? Oh no- I'm no longer the bad guy. I'm now AMUSING. LOL! Why not reread your first post about us "self hating fuckwits" and see who the real crybaby is. I'd reread it myself but your threats of getting your five foot wife after me have me really shaken. I could hardly sleep last night I was in such frozen terror. And Lamerz- you've only written about me like THREE times since I've last logged off- truly pathetic. I'm not even here and he's still trying to talk to me- what a Moe! LOL and no SCYTHEY OL' CHAP- trashing everything just to piss people off really ain't my style at all. Only when it comes to the Star Wars prequels! :) Maybe that's because I REALLY do believe that these movies suck farts out of elephants' assholes. I am also by no means trying to change your minds on the subject- it's much more fun THIS way! See you in the next PREQUELS forum!!! Just try not to get so hot under the collars next time- you guys really did sound like a bunch of wallowing pussies there for a minute! Here's your candy back though- there you go- suck on your lollies! LOL jeesh at least Super Person was funny- you cats are just dogged bitches...
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You were the asshole still posting to me when I hadn't been here for hours. I was responding to your asinine bullshit that you insist on putting out there for the world to read. Recap - you are a closed-minded tard. Done.
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Yoda's jedi-master farts kill Jar-Jar and finally end his miserable existance. "Yusa fart so stinky"
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Oct 28, 2004 12:10:25 PM CDT
Funniest post ever and I quote "Did you prequel hating cockheads
by matthooper8
I assume you are kidding, right?
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Oct 28, 2004 2:09:24 PM CDT
Does a Jedi's fart smell when they are a spirit? Plus some other
by matthooper8
Other spoilers:
Padme burps to the tune of Row Row Row your boat.
Jar-Jar throws up on a Wookie.
Obi-Wan takes a dump and throws it at Anakin.
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Yea? someone outside of George and Rick and 1 or two production dudes has see Revenge yea! o.k. and it just happens to be josh from the force.crap that george just casually invited to the ranch for a cup of jawa juice and a back stage pass so he could spread it all over the fing internet!#@@#%^ Do fanboys have the ability to learn and progress. . . . .
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I don't want to see any more Star Wars idiocy.
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haha
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Dude, seriously. Take some pride in site for chrissakes.
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Never have I seen such hatred and rage on a non-political message board before. People. . .it's only a movie. OK? A *movie.* And as I said on the Enterprise message board in similar circumstances, you are not Satan if you like or dislike the show. Sheesh. If you're gonna get all exercised about something, find something that matters. That is all.
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Oct 29, 2004 6:15:34 PM CDT
"There's more emotion in 10 minutes of ROTS than all of the preq
by minderbinder
Hell, there's more emotion in a 30 second tampon comercial than the prequels combined.
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Oct 29, 2004 6:28:48 PM CDT
So Maher...are people who write "NEW RULE" complete assholes, or
by minderbinder
Sigh.
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I can't fucking believe it.
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Thank you George Lucas! I have never laughed this hard in my life.
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I bet his farts smell like sulferous eggs. His ears perk up while squeezing one out and then droop contentedly when he smells what he hath wrought.
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Yoda probably goes commando. One word: crusty.
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he's screwed the pooch once too often for me...
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Oct 31, 2004 4:40:52 PM CST
By the way, Peter Hackson's paper popcorn "trilogy" is...
by salvatoregravano
...the worst book adaptation I've seen since "Just Cause" the movie.
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