Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with our main scientific contributor, Copernicus, who is more than likely high as a kite after seeing OLDBOY. I know we've been bombarding you with coverage of this film, but trust me. It's really that good. Fucked up beyond compare, but brilliant nonetheless. Enjoy the by the book scientific dissection from the super-brain that is known as Copernicus!!!

OLD BOY

With OLD BOY, director Park Chan-wook doused us with audience lighter fluid and threw in the match. And I'm still ablaze with a burning fever! This is the stuff that cinematic orgasms are made of: auteurist direction, mood-setting music, the slow resolve of a mystery, and savage brutality in the pursuit of revenge. This is the best Tarantino-esque film I've seen from anyone besides the originator of that subgenre. What it lacks in Tarantino's snappy dialogue, it trades for a twisted plot worthy of a Greek tragedy. I can see why Quentin loved it and why it won the Grand Prix at Cannes.

Right from the outset we are catapulted into the movie by the drama of one man holding another man over the side of a building by his tie, set to a racing soundtrack. Just before we can figure out what is going on we flash back to the story of Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik). As he is on his way home with a present for his daughter he disappears, only to find himself imprisoned in what seems like a hotel room with only a television set for company. From the TV he learns that his wife and daughter have been killed and he is the prime suspect. But there is nothing he can do as he rots away in his cell, tortured by his isolation and by the mystery of his captor. After 15 years he escapes and the opening scene is revisited with both a interesting twist and a hilarious resolution. Oh Dae-su's rampage begins, but he quickly learns that he is not as free as he thinks.

The most stunning thing about OLD BOY is the way Park Chan-wook sets up a compelling dilemma and delivers on its resolution with the skill that only a master director can summon. In one scene, about 15 guys stand in a hall between Oh Dae-su and an elevator. He fights his way down the hall in one continuous take, fraught with drama, engrossing action, and wonderful comic timing. At the end of the scene the audience just exploded into hysteria. Interesting angles, well placed music, and vibrant colors round out some of the masterful touches Park Chan-wook uses to embellish his story. Everyone appreciates a well developed scene that serves the plot, but when you supplement it with this much flair it invites not just satisfaction, but awe.

In the tradition of ear liberation, there are some stomach churning scenes packed into OLD BOY: an octopus eaten alive, the yanking out of teeth, and even a severed tongue. These aren't just thrown in to be disgusting - they serve the story through symbolism, to build tension, and to reflect the internal horrors that the characters are subjected to. Violence is a big part of OLD BOY, but Oh Dae-su isn't your stock badass hero. He screws up, gets tired, and gets plenty of kicking administered to his ass as well.

Even though the film gets off to a racing start, the middle third is the slowest. But this is a small price to play as the pieces are put into place for a stunning conclusion. In the final act the film reveals itself to be more than just a by-the-numbers revenge piece, having more of the depth of a classic tragedy. The ending hits you like a punch in the gut, but as you're gasping for breath you'll be begging for more. OLD BOY is a shining example of the wonders coming out of South Korea at the moment, and is a must-see for any film geek.

-Copernicus