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I am – Hercules!!

All the carping following the Emmys, much directed at my outrage over the lack of recognition for “Angel,” “Wonderfalls,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and the ceaselessly fabulous “Gilmore Girls.” I yam what I yam, and I (and my many satellite dishes, and my high-definition swimming pool, and my heated TV sets) thank Harry daily that I get paid by the talkback. Please continue with the anger.

Herc's loved “Gilmore Girls” since 1.1. But never did I love it more than during its fourth season finale, first aired more than four months ago. It featured a regular character interrupting an important romantic moment for a much-anticipated naked panic attack.

It’s a smart geek show! It’s a smart chick show! It’s two two two shows in one! You can, you will, you must love it!! Love it at least until creator and certified comedy genius Amy Sherman-Palladino moves on to features, and forces you to hire a babysitter and pay $9 to hear the same million-dollar jokes. This may have already happened (cough*”Gossip Girl”*cough), and yet maybe not just quite yet, because the Amy wrote and directed tonight’s season opener. (Lulu’s still in the picture!)

Do you fear me? Do you fear a 14-year-old geek girl might know better than you?

Previously.

On “Gilmore Girls.”

“Well, you could have just stopped at ‘James Spader.’”

“How on earth can you be frustrated with me right now?”

“What’s your damage, Heather?”

“The Hustle. The Hora.”

“Maybe he just needed to get out. And since I’m one of the women sitting home thinking, ‘If I could only find a man like Aragorn,’ he picked me.”

“The worst part of night terrors is it always ends up with me on top of the roof completely naked.”

“Terrific. I’ll tell the wife.”

“Right. I’m your friend.”

“I have the prettiest mother. Everybody thinks so.”

“No, Mom, he doesn’t, he just showed up here. Apparently it’s Blake Edwards night at the Dragonfly.”

“I’d authorize a case study if I could.”

“Well, the wardrobe’s a bit of a head scratcher.”

“You know the last time I bought flowers for someone? Never, that’s when!”

“Will you just stand still?”

“Well, first of all it was supposed to be in a retirement home. And second, it was supposed to be with someone single.”

“I hate you for ruining this for me!”

8 p.m. Tuesday. The WB.

For those who have been busy with other things, much older episodes of “Gilmore Girls” begin airing on ABC Family beginning Oct. 4.

I am – Hercules!!





Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cute cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!

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