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I am – Hercules!!

All the carping following the Emmys, much directed at my outrage over the lack of recognition for “Angel,” “Wonderfalls,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and the ceaselessly fabulous “Gilmore Girls.” I yam what I yam, and I (and my many satellite dishes, and my high-definition swimming pool, and my heated TV sets) thank Harry daily that I get paid by the talkback. Please continue with the anger.

Herc's loved “Gilmore Girls” since 1.1. But never did I love it more than during its fourth season finale, first aired more than four months ago. It featured a regular character interrupting an important romantic moment for a much-anticipated naked panic attack.

It’s a smart geek show! It’s a smart chick show! It’s two two two shows in one! You can, you will, you must love it!! Love it at least until creator and certified comedy genius Amy Sherman-Palladino moves on to features, and forces you to hire a babysitter and pay $9 to hear the same million-dollar jokes. This may have already happened (cough*”Gossip Girl”*cough), and yet maybe not just quite yet, because the Amy wrote and directed tonight’s season opener. (Lulu’s still in the picture!)

Do you fear me? Do you fear a 14-year-old geek girl might know better than you?


On “Gilmore Girls.”

“Well, you could have just stopped at ‘James Spader.’”

“How on earth can you be frustrated with me right now?”

“What’s your damage, Heather?”

“The Hustle. The Hora.”

“Maybe he just needed to get out. And since I’m one of the women sitting home thinking, ‘If I could only find a man like Aragorn,’ he picked me.”

“The worst part of night terrors is it always ends up with me on top of the roof completely naked.”

“Terrific. I’ll tell the wife.”

“Right. I’m your friend.”

“I have the prettiest mother. Everybody thinks so.”

“No, Mom, he doesn’t, he just showed up here. Apparently it’s Blake Edwards night at the Dragonfly.”

“I’d authorize a case study if I could.”

“Well, the wardrobe’s a bit of a head scratcher.”

“You know the last time I bought flowers for someone? Never, that’s when!”

“Will you just stand still?”

“Well, first of all it was supposed to be in a retirement home. And second, it was supposed to be with someone single.”

“I hate you for ruining this for me!”

8 p.m. Tuesday. The WB.

For those who have been busy with other things, much older episodes of “Gilmore Girls” begin airing on ABC Family beginning Oct. 4.

I am – Hercules!!

Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cute cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!

Readers Talkback
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  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:07 a.m. CST


    by Coenbro

    Come on, give some love the Arrested Development. It is the BEST. And it WON! Also, first.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:13 a.m. CST

    wah! wah! wah!

    by Hercules

    Arrested Development isn't even as good as Curb Your Enthusiasm. Hey now.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:21 a.m. CST

    Herc is a 14-year-old girl. I'm positive.

    by ZeroCorpse

    Buffy? Gilmore Girls? Angel? Smallville?

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:25 a.m. CST

    Korean mom

    by Battousai

    I'm glad you posted on Gilmore Girls Herc, because I have been waiting for the longest time to bitch about Lane and her mom. I'm a member of the "Minorities that bitch constantly about lack of their minority on television" club. So when I first discovered that GG had an Asian and that she was portrayed as Korean, I was happy. That soon changed to horror. First Keiko Agena isn't the problem. She even speaks englishe goodee! But her mom! Maybye it's not even a ethnicity thing (even though Lane's aunt acts the same way) She forbid Lane to listen to rock music! She made Lane not date boys! She treats Lane like a prisoner! She speaks in a stilted form of english! Plus the times when the characters speak "korean". I know korean and even I needed subtitles when they spoke in korean. That was quite hilarious.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:27 a.m. CST

    I'm almost a 15-year-old girl

    by Hercules

    Not only are grown men taking a keen interest, but I suspect I'm already out-earning you. What. Is. Your. Point?

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:32 a.m. CST

    Herc goes on record with the super-spoiler

    by Hercules

    I swear to you that as far as I know, Richard and Emily survive season five. My super-spoiler refers to two other characters entirely. I point out also that the series listed are not my ONLY all-time favorite series.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:38 a.m. CST

    OC versues Gilmore Girls

    by Battousai

    I can't believe you still like Gilmore Girls Herc. It had a good run early on but not its degenerated into a creativley bankrupt chick show. The opposite goes for the OC. It has good dialogue. It has a mastermind, Josh Schwartz who unlike Amy Sherman whatever can mix it up. He can write a episode where all the show does is make fun of itself. Gilmore Girls takes itself so seriously and dosen't know how to have fun. Gilmore Girls' story moves like glaciers. Do you realize Rory lost her virginity in season 4, while Marissa lost her virginity in season 1, out of spite, then tried to have sex with Ryan to say sorry for Oliver? The OC is the best show on television. Gilmore Girls, I can't stand and I am not watching anymore. How many more Rory has dinner with her Grandparents or Rory and Lorelai go to Luke's scenes can I stand? It is so redundant. Also the worst show on television is Quintuplets.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Loves them girls

    by savas

    Like Herc, I've watched GG since the very first episode. I think it must have premiered a week before the Friends season opener and even though it didn't sound like my kind of show I gave it a look. Much to my shock...I was immediately hooked...Thank God for VCR's. I think I might have a major crush on Lauren Graham. She's especially good on late night talk shows...very funny...very witty. And she talks just like her and almost breathless...what I like to call 'bedroom panting'...but that's just me.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:41 a.m. CST

    Herc is it Marissa Cooper and Ryan Atwood?

    by Battousai

    I'd like to remind you that you are UNDER OATH!!!!!!!!!

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:51 a.m. CST

    Why the anger? - or - Herc's going to bed!

    by Hercules

    I think I'm on record that I love "The OC" plenty also. My super-spoiler does not refer to Marissa and Ryan. I sense I'll have to post a follow-up within the week eliminating a number of candidates. In the meantime, kudos to those who read carefully and discovered I was referring to two characters from ONE show.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 2:59 a.m. CST

    I wasn't angry........

    by Battousai

    Just a parody of courtroom scenes. Allright we should do that game, you know the one where you ask about appearence than eliminate the people? 1.Is one of the person dying fat? 2.Is one black? 3.Is one a girl? 4.Does one wear glasses?

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 3:06 a.m. CST

    creativley bankrupt chick show?

    by nny777

    GG, along with Scrubs, is quite possibly the most consistently good show I've ever seen. In 4 years they've never had a bad episode. As for the story comment, GG's never been about plot. Everybody seems confused about this, but GG is a comedy, not a drama. The whole show is designed to have amazing dialogue and make you laugh. I consider OC a dramedy. Being an hour-long doesn't automatically make you a drama. BTW, anybody who wants to see a show that moves at a really fast pace should watch One Tree Hill. Every episode, the line between friends and enemies shifts.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 7:26 a.m. CST

    GG is a great show.

    by baj24

    It's consistently funny. It's well written and despite the title which I think scares off a lot of people, it had a broad sappeal. Plus Lauren Graham what more could you ask for? She's hot!!!!! I'm just glad we are finally getting some Luke/Lorelai action.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 8:15 a.m. CST

    How can you whine about the "asshole" (non) super (non) spoiler?

    by minderbinder

    The article couldn't have been possibly been more obviously labled SPOILER. If you read it, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Bad argument above

    by godric

    So, you're saying that because a character on OC lost her virginity sooner than a character on GG, that proves it is of higher quality. Um...okay. Whatever, dude. OC is a soap. GG is hilarious. It makes both me and my wife laugh consistently. And we're not searching for the show with the quickest viriginity-loss, but the most intelligent characters. So there.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 9:19 a.m. CST



    There is no WB where I live. So I stumbled upon 3am showings on a pick-up channel during the first season and fell in love with the Gilmores. Which do I love more? Can't say. The interaction between Rory and Loreli makes the show. I only hope my local channel dumps Everwood in favor of the Girls this season.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 9:32 a.m. CST

    The script for each ep is 150 pages long.

    by Christopher3

    Seriously, one shouldn't mistake fast, overlapping, Tourettic dialogue for good comedy. Just because a show has the rhythm of Abbott & Costello doesn't mean that it has the gift.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Herc, all you needed to say was "Lauren Graham. Black leather j

    by SpyGuy

    Honestly, I think anyone who DOESN'T watch GILMORE GIRLS is a 14-year-old girl. Not to mention there's more pop culture references than a Dennis Miller cameo on BUFFY. Watching GG should be a total no-brainer...

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 10:12 a.m. CST

    sure, The OC has the incredible Adam Brody

    by epitone

    BUT THEY STOLE HIM FROM GILMORE GIRLS! What more proof do you need?

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 10:57 a.m. CST

    To the idiot who compared GG to the OC!

    by chase232

    First of all let me just say I love both shows, but you're stupid. You said GG was good at first but has since slipped whereas OC has remained good. GG has been on for 4 seasons and the OC has been on for one so your comment makes zero sense. Plus the OC had the whole Oliver mishap in the middle of set first season (although I didn't hate the storyline the way everyone else seems to have). And the whole virginity thing is just a stupid, stupid comment. Rory is not the type of girl who would have lost it at 16, thats just not the way she is, she saw what happened to her mom and didn't want that to happen to her.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 11:12 a.m. CST

    best show ever

    by exador

    man, i cant wait for this... its like a kevin smith movie, without the swearing, and starring the hottest two women on tv... oh..and paris.. damn i love that girl... neurotic as all hell, but theres something about her... anyhow, it is without a doubt the best thing on tv...and if some folks havent discovered that yet, to bad for them...the rest of us love it! my wife and i dont agree on much when it comes to movies or other a die hard scifi fantasy guy, and shes more the drama messed up families magnolia fan... but one thing we can both agree on is that gilmore girls is the best... i sure wish it was easier to explain it to my fellow geeks tho... ;) exador out

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Lauren Tom was super-insanely hot in Bad Santa when she's bangin

    by Tall_Boy

    seriously, that shit was hot. "Fuck me, Santa. Fuck me, Santa. Fuck me, Santa." Somehow I don't think if I watched Gilmore Girls I'd get that level of dirty hotness. Yeah, she's a whore and I like that.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Fuck me, Santa! I mean, Lauren Graham

    by Tall_Boy

    who the hell is Lauren Tom? Anyway, yah, watch Bad Santa for that chick from GG acting like a whore.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 12:01 p.m. CST

    speaking of Paris

    by JackDonkey

    has she put on another 30 pounds for this season? Shame, I liked here before she started looking like a midwest mom.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 12:36 p.m. CST

    herc's little WB corner needs to stop

    by MiltonWaddams

    has any one even seen the gilmore girls? it's like 30 minutes of just rapid fire witty banter spit out as fast as they can say it. you need a nap after you watch this shitfest. i can't imagine anybody with less than 5 cats watching this show more than once. what a horrible piece of shit.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Gilmore Girls!

    by Waspo

    I'm a 23 year old man who is in love with this show. The women are hot, the characters are deep and interesting, and the story takes very natural development. Don't get me wrong I love my Star Wars, and I'm enjoying the box set, but when 7 comes tonight Gilmore Girls will be what I'm watching. It's not a chick show just because it stars two women, no it's a show about characters, characters who have developed and changed over the years. Real life, just like this show, is about the relationships that form, develop, and change over the course of years. Stop complaining and give the show a shot.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Is it OK...

    by Roj Blake equally dig on both Arrested Development *and* Curb Your Enthusiasm (for very different reasons)? Because I certainly do.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 1:44 p.m. CST

    oh! Lauren Tom is the voice of Amy Wong on Futurama!

    by Tall_Boy

    shows where my tv geek prorities lie...

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 3:10 p.m. CST

    All this for lil ol' me?

    by JT Kirk

    Herc, I'm flattered. But you don't have to worry, nobody in that TB even responded to what I said about your questionably-geeky TV tastes. Seriously though, you'd get even MORE talkbacks in Coax if you reported on REAL geek-based shows more often. Don't worry, you can still do articles like these on your precious girlie shows too, and then you get twice the potential for TB - which will let you buy twice as much cute Lisa Frank gear! (That's in retaliation for crapping on the awesome "Arrested Development") .... Anyway, as for GG, I've successfully not seen this show for 4 seasons now, mostly due to vague reviews that present it in this "who knows what this is?" light, and this article is no different, I don't see anything here trying to explain why I should give it a shot. .... .... Tall_Boy, Lauren Tom is indeed Amy from Futurama (and a ton of other voices out there, she gets AROUND), but she also was Marcus' wife in "Bad Santa", which also starred... GG's Lauren Graham! Coincidence?

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 3:18 p.m. CST

    MadTV's Gabmore Girls

    by CynicKil

    I have to thank MadTV for turning me on to The Gilmore Girls all the way past season 4. So it's never too late to get hooked on a show that's been on for a while. In all honesty I really had no interest in the show at first glance, but mainly because I wasn't about to give up "Buffy" to watch it. Now that that show is history, I can now watch the Gabmore's happily. It's a whipsmart show. Best written comedy writing on television. Good performances. Good show.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 3:53 p.m. CST

    My point was.............

    by Battousai

    Not that whoever loses there virginity the fastest is the best but that the OC didn't have to drag on for four freakin seasons then make a season finale based on that. They aren't exactly the best for comparison but sense I've watched both and they both star teen characters I thought it was fair. I think Gilmore Girls is slowly degenerating into 7th Heaven, which is the worst insult I could give a tv show. How many "Eating dinner with Grandparents" scenes can a show have? Does Amy Sherman whatever wish she spent more time with her's or something?

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 6:36 p.m. CST

    Curb and Arrested Development are both GREAT shows...

    by cornstalkwalker

    ... it's not that one is good so the other must be bad. Not that I'm ever gonna watch the emmys, but great that AD got best comedy.

  • Sept. 21, 2004, 10:34 p.m. CST

    The only thing better ....

    by Itchy

    than Lauren Graham's "Fuck me Santa ! Fuck me Santa ! scene" is the scene in my mind where I'm dressed as Santa and I'm railing Alexis Bledel while she screams "Fuck me Santa". Lauren, of course, is in the corner with the video camera.

  • Sept. 22, 2004, 2:27 a.m. CST

    I watched tonight's ep in beautiful HDTV on my 65" Toshiba

    by Hercules

    It looked and sounded like "Gilmore Girls: The Motion Picture." But as much as I enjoyed making out the sweater patterns on Rory's breast-area, I would not have laughed or cried any less had I watched it on a 12" b&w Funai. What a show!!

  • Sept. 22, 2004, 7:50 a.m. CST

    hey Waspo

    by baj24

    I'm a 23 year old man who loves this show too lol.

  • Sept. 22, 2004, 9:23 a.m. CST

    An excellent start to another strong season of the Gilmore Girls

    by ExcaliburFfolkes

    Last night's premiere was solid. I can't wait to see how this season work's itself out.

  • Sept. 22, 2004, 9:29 a.m. CST

    I'd like to point out...

    by godric

    I love this show; I think it's sharp and funny, and the characters are well drawn out, the stories interesting. However, as I was watching the Season 1 DVD, it struck me that if people actually were like these characters in real life, they would annoy the crap out of you. And then I saw Amy Sherman-Palladino on the documentary on disc 6, and this was confirmed--she talks just like Lorelai, but she's annoying. She looks like a slightly over-aged goth rocker wearing a community-theater-production-of-Oliver! hat, and she talks like Lorelai, and it is SCARY! Like, haunting my dreams forever scary. Works on the show, though.