Sept. 7, 2004, 5:02 a.m. CST
by Peter Venkman
I was underwhelmed by this. I felt it was trying too hard to be quirky and that worked against it, when the story and the main characters were great. The guy who played the millionaire friend was a terrible actor and ruined every scene he was in. The overlong trip to the Ark was pointless and dragged along. Natalie Portman, contrary to Moriarty, wasn't charming as much as she was annoying. As bizzare as this sounds, as hot as she is, she has not one ounce of sexual charisma. Maybe I'm being too hard, becuase there is a lot to like in this movie-the visuals, the music and a few truly great moments. But I still think too many scenes were "overdoing" it. i.e. the party scene.
Sept. 7, 2004, 5:46 a.m. CST
That may be the best segue evah on this site
Sept. 7, 2004, 6:58 a.m. CST
was better than i was expecting it to be. actually i wasn't expecting anything because i watched it on a plane and didn't know tina fey from fay wong. i thought tina fey was some hot half asian chick. only later did i find out she was a comedian on SNL. and Lindsay Lohan had better make the most of her career now cause in about 4years she is gonna be one mighty big lass! highlights: the school principal cracked me up and the darker moments eased the pain of sitting on a plane for 12hours.
Sept. 7, 2004, 7:41 a.m. CST
Hey, I'll admit Hero is more original, it's better filmed, and for all its pedestrian dialogue, it's probably better written too, but the story is hollow, dull, and couldn't back up its fantastic visuals, not to mention it features one of the lamest fucking attempts I've ever seen at making a villain seem symathetic. The emperor kills hundreds upon hundreds of people, but it's all for the greater good of the land, so the end justifies the means? And the namesless guy actually BELIEVES him!? And they say AVP insults the audience's intelligence! For all its flaws, AVP looked fantastic and kept my attention for the full 100 minutes and more than gave me my money's worth. So much fun I saw it twice. Paid both times. You wonder how Paul W.S. Anderson could possibly screw up something as simple as Alien Vs. Predator? My answer: he didn't. Bite me, haters.
Sept. 7, 2004, 9:12 a.m. CST
on a couple things which scares me. My take on Michael Moore is he is a man with his heart in the right place, but he pushes the truth envelope too much. Also Open Water was a letdown. It was cool that they did it with actual sharks, but it was just kind of flat.
Sept. 7, 2004, 12:48 p.m. CST
...just wait until late February 2006 when Fox presents: "Aliens vs Predator vs Robocop"! From an original screenplay by Alan Smithee! Starring David Boreanaz! Lance Henrikson in a five second flashback! Some chick that was in FHM! The finest, cheapest CGI money can buy! And a guy with a jawline vaguely similar to Peter Weller's as... Robocop! There won't be a dry seat in the house when the fanboy's catch a glimpse of Robert Patrick's surprise cameo which perfectly sets up the series for a third franchise crossover! But will it be "Terminator," "X-Files"... or "Double Dragon"?!?! sk
Sept. 7, 2004, 12:49 p.m. CST
by I Like Batman
Moriarty, are you still planning on reviewing the Fantastic Four script you mentioned a while ago? I need my fears assuaged! That whole "Victor van Damme" thing really shook my confidence in the project.
Sept. 7, 2004, 1 p.m. CST
Sept. 7, 2004, 1:43 p.m. CST
You must go watch the Door in the Floor followed by Napoleon Dynomite forth with! These are probably the two best movies I've seen this year. Far superior to tripe like A vs P and such. Go now...hurry!
Sept. 7, 2004, 1:43 p.m. CST
by Don Lockwood
Collateral may end up being an important movie visually, but it just doesn't hold up at all storywise. When you first see it and you're in that moment, it seems to be a really good film but afterwards, on reflection, it just falls completely apart from the premise on. I have to say, though, Jamie Foxx was great and I'm really looking forward to seeing Ray. From the trailers I've seen, he's gonna be Oscar nominated come February.
Sept. 7, 2004, 2:04 p.m. CST
This is one of those films, while clearly a teenaged chick flick, that I went to see with my girlfriend and an open mind. I mean, not every film has to be my exact taste for it to be good, right? But I found myself just hating the moral of the story.... Mean girls are mean, and if everyone was jut nice to each other it wouldn't be a problem.... What? Um, no. Nice thought maybe, but it will never happen. Maybe mean girls (and boys) are just a fact of the world, and maybe you should get thicker skin! Yeah, I know "wanhh wanhh, my poor childhood!", but did you ever stop to consider that it might have made you a better person? Also, one of the hooks of the movie was that it was sincere and honest, but when the school erupted into an unlikely girls brawl over pages scattered from a hate book, I completely zoned out.... It was totally unrealistic.
Sept. 7, 2004, 2:26 p.m. CST
I'm disappointed "Open Water" didn't erupt into a porno, too, Drew.
Sept. 7, 2004, 3:06 p.m. CST
Although, I will give you this, when we first meet Portman's character I couldn't help but think "Well, I was hoping for more, but this is the best she's been in awhile". That all changed out at the pet graveyard. The second the camera goes back to her after she hears that Andrew's mother has died, just the look on her face made me exhale. There's Mathilde. There is that impossibly controlled emotive little girl that we all couldn't wait to see where she would go. No one, and i'm not making a generalization, i'm saying flat out NO ONE is better than she is at emoting. She makes Uma Thurman in "Kill Bill" look like a damn soap star. I'll grant you something else. She isn't God-I-want-to-bend-her-over-the-couch-and-make-her-beg-for-more sexy. But she is laying-in-bed-with-someone-late-in-the-morning sexy. There are a few films i'll defend to my last breath, "Garden State" is now of them.
Sept. 7, 2004, 3:25 p.m. CST
Yeah. As far as that goes, I'm a little puzzled too. I was under the impression that a script review was forthcoming, but now it seems to have dropped off of Mori's agenda; either that, or he feels it doesn't bear repeating. It's not a big deal if you don't, Mori (although I must confess I got excited when I heard the news), just wondering what the dilly-o.
Sept. 7, 2004, 3:34 p.m. CST
Let's hope the Wayans brothers fresh, satirical, cutting edge take on Forbidden Planet fares much better.
Sept. 7, 2004, 3:49 p.m. CST
thats about it. I can't believe I just lumped Alien vs. Predator and Farenheight 9/11 into the same subject, but what the hell. For my money, my top 3 movies of the summer were - Spider-Man 2, SuperSize Me & Harry Potter
Sept. 7, 2004, 4:39 p.m. CST
by Cash Bailey
And judging by the trailer it doesn't look to me like it was shot hi-def, it looks like it was shot on my Canon XL1S. Maybe the 35mm blow-up adds a heap of grain.
Sept. 7, 2004, 5:22 p.m. CST
... about Will Smith being in I Am Legend. Please? And Mori hasn't seen Napolean Dynamite? I thought that was a firing offence at AICN?
Sept. 7, 2004, 5:34 p.m. CST
by Ted Striker
Very nice piece, Drew. But, when a movie critic says in his review "you can
Sept. 7, 2004, 5:44 p.m. CST
by Ted Striker
I'm going to stand on my soap box so that maybe Spielberg will hear me (with Roger Ebert's help): Digital Video is going to RUIN film-making! Yes, I understand the upsides of Digital, but the DOWNSIDE is picture quality. The image quality is TERRIBLE compared to Film, and I'm not even a videophile. Collateral would look great on DVD, but as it stands from a theatrical 'big screen' perspective, it looks all washed out and grainy in a lot of scenes. That's video for ya. Come on Spielberg, I know you said you'd never stop shooting movies in film -- would you and Dreamworks PLEASE shoot a movie in MaxiVision48, as this technology is the only thing that will save film right now -- 48 frames per second of glorious HighResolution Film will be stunning next to any Digital Image ever made... But you must act FAST Spielberg, the Trade Federation has already blocked off trade routes to Naboo!
Sept. 7, 2004, 6:12 p.m. CST
Sept. 7, 2004, 6:15 p.m. CST
Tab, stupid, not return. Sorry bout that. Anyway, I didn't think a flight from Houston, TX to Anchorage, AK could get any longer. Boy was I wrong. The other bright spot besides the principle, was the mother of the head plastic
Sept. 7, 2004, 6:50 p.m. CST
by user id indeed!
That, Eternal Sunshine, Garden State, and Kill Bill v.2. DAMNIT, I loved Collateral. Vincent is the best movie hitman ever, second only to Leon. Jamie Foxx was amazing. The soundtrack is a new favorite of mine. The video was great. Jason Statham's role will be studied in film schools for centuries to come for his touching sincerity and breathtaking emoting. The club scene was a fucking punch in the solar plexus, and I loved it.
Sept. 7, 2004, 7:45 p.m. CST
i must concur with the opinions expressing collateral's brilliance. michael mann has a phenomenal knack for filming LA, both in this latest film and the under-rated heat. however, the weakest part of the film has got to be the digital filming. the blacks definitely were not as deep and warm as they would have been had traditional film been used. (since most of the movie takes place at night, this was especially noticeable.) and as someone else pointed out, the colors were also a bit washed out. still a four star film, though.
Sept. 7, 2004, 11:49 p.m. CST
To hell with all this Sturm undt Drang...when are they gonna remake "Crack in the World"!!! Now that was cinema. 7-11 slurpee straws are so wide now that you can snort your own farts! Whose as sick of superhero christ figures as I am? Okay, so it kinda worked in Spiderman 2 cause the big web spiner's such a nice guy y'know? Who here can say that they don't want to pound away on a big hairy spider? I wish they'ld finally turn FightClub into a Cartoon Network animation. What the fuck is wrong with those faggots?
Sept. 7, 2004, 11:53 p.m. CST
God I'm Drunk.
Sept. 8, 2004, 8:53 a.m. CST
Sept. 8, 2004, 11:14 a.m. CST
...avoid Thunderbirds at all costs. EVERYTHING that made the original cool has been abandonded in favor of making Spy Kids 4, albeit with cooler gadgets. Save your time for something more worthy. If fact, if you want a proper Thunderbirds movie, watch the dvd of "Thunderbirds Are Go" the 1966 theatrical movie. I'll let the final word on this go to a quote from my eight year old daughter who went with me to see it, thus proving that they miss the boat even with the target audience ....."they were cooler when they had strings".
Sept. 8, 2004, 5:44 p.m. CST
by andrew coleman
Also the debate is over there was one cool scene in AVP which was where the Alien stabbed the Predator and then brought it up face to face. That ruled, everything else blew. Napoleon Dynamite also sucked I think it's just one of those trendy movies like Blair Witch that everyone loves at first but then realize later they were wrong and the movie did suck. Garden State had its moments and I thought Hero was kick ass, even though I find it hilarious that hard core liberals like that movie because... Well whatever, DV looks crappy on the big screen, worked for Open Water and was cool in Collateral for like five minutes