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A Dissenting View On SKY CAPTAIN!!
Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
Y’know, I’ve been saying for some time now that SKY CAPTAIN is one of those movies that will strike some people perfectly while leaving others cold. I heard tonight that one of the biggest-name critics in the business plans to rave ecstatically about the film in a couple of weeks, and Kerry Conran was greeted warmly by the majority of the press at the recent New York junket, where he talked a bit about his next picture, PRINCESS OF MARS, which is being produced by some lunatic in Texas who will no doubt add lots of heavy metal to the score and spend most of his time hitting on potential female leads.
Here’s one of the few negative reviews I’ve gotten in so far for the film, and I wanted to run it because I do feel there are people who just won’t tune in to the particular geek fetish vibe of the film. This isn’t a hyperbolic hate letter, either, but simply an opinion that runs contrary to many of those we’ve already published:
Dear Drew:
I'm writing with a review of the much-anticipated movie "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow", which I was able to see at a sneak at the Sherman Oaks Galleria three weeks ago. I didn't write in then because I was hoping someone else would take on the painful job of being the "bearer of bad news." I know how gaga-in-love Quint is with this movie, but I'm sorry, it's not worth the hype. I saw it in a packed house and it was clear that the audience wasn't into it. There were a few people in the "reserved rows" (clearly people involved with the film) that were clapping and celebrating Paltrow's annoying-as-hell character. Anyway, in the off chance that this review sees the light of day, I'll break it down for all of you:
The look of this film is awesome - that I have to give Kerry and his team - the throwback to pulp comics and serials works amazingly well and there's an incredible array of "beauty shots." The characters blend in with the backgrounds quite well so you buy into into - I was afraid the "all green screen" technique would pull you out of the story, but hey it worked. Kudos. If this movie intended to prove that an all "green screen movie" can work, then the filmmakers succeeded. To me it's a success in the way that Jar Jar paved the way for Gollum.
The script was a-ight. My main gripe with it is how shortchanged and annoying the character of Paltrow was. I get it. I understand they wanted to pay tribute to that archetypical female character of the past, but it didn't work. She's set up as a gifted reporter yet she can put two and two together. Example: at the beginning of the film, it's set up that scientists are being kidnapped, Paltrow's character knows that and goes to meet someone at Radio Music hall, who introduces himself as the last scientist from this team who hasn't been kidnapped. The whole time, Polly (I think that was her name) is pumping the guy for information: Who's the next? But who's next? For the love of God tell me who's next?! I was dying, laughing at how stupid they made her seem. Meanwhile the guy next to me dead-panned: "she ain't too bright, ain't she?" I could go on and on. There's a gag involving Polly only having two shots left in her camera that is milked way too much. Bottom line for me, she's the most obnoxious character since Kate Capshaw in "Temple of Doom."
Something that struck me as odd was how jarring some of the locations changes seemed: it was like we were going from one movie to another. At one point the characters go to Shangri-La I believe and it seems that they've been transported to "Lord of the Rings", then to another location which seems to scream "Jurassic Park" then to a secret base that seems right out of the droid factory from AOTC. It was too jarring and unbelievable for me.
Quint is right Ribissi and Jolie stealing the movie - not that their parts are incredible - but they're reasonably charming characters in a sea of annoyance. To name an example late in the movie when it became rather clear to me that the audience had turned on this film: Angelina's character saves the day, the people from the "reserved seats" cheered while the rest of the theater remained silent, then a guy in the back uttered a low and half-hearted "yeah!" and everyone that heard him cracked up.
As the movie finished and we were being ushered out of the theater, I kept asking myself the same question I asked when I saw the first teaser: "who is this movie for?" It's a love letter to the past and maybe it should've remained in someone's computer. The Director shows talent in this movie, but I keep thinking he's the luckiest guy alive for getting to tackle John Carter.
Sincerely,
ECWe’re just a few weeks away from THE WORLD OF TOMORROW at this point, so everyone’s going to have their chance to chime in then. I certainly hope you guys enjoy it the way I did, but I figure it’ll be an interesting conversation, to say the least.
"Moriarty" out.
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Aug 30, 2004 7:24:15 AM CDT
Earth to reviewer: John Carter is also a love letter to the past
by fluffyunbound
So if this movie isn't "for" anyone, neither is that one, and you don't have anything to be jealous of.
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I hate it when reviewers say shit like "sorry, this movie is shit". Not according to most other reviewers, sparky. YOU think it's shit, but that doesn't make it so. I'm not saying it's definitely going to rock, but it's not going to be objectively shit just cos you say so...... And why do Americans always have to talk and cheer and clap in movies? You're there to watch a movie for Christ's sake, so watch it! Don't make stupid dumbshit comments that make everyone think that you're more of a geek than that guy on the Batman video
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Aug 30, 2004 8:42:43 AM CDT
I find it interesting that this film has seen nothing but rave r
by theginger twit
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the dude above s right - cinemas are suposed to be quiet but Americans don't seem to get that?
Why not?
In Ireland no one says a word and the movie can be enjoyed as it is meant to be seen. And if anyone did talk, even in a packed cinema here, its a tough call who'd throw 'em out first - the staff or other audience.
I have seen it happen to a few Knackers in my time.
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Aug 30, 2004 8:56:01 AM CDT
It's funny...even a review like this makes me still want to see
by minderbinder
Just can't have unrealistic expectations.
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had me clicking the "back" button that is. I stopped reading at that point assuming that the rest of the review would be a criticism on the lack of "phat" "sick" or "crazy mad" Eminem songs on the soundtrack.
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jared leto!
dejah thoris= selma hayek.
As for flash gordon and dale arden= real life couple paul bettany and jennifer connelly.
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And the Special Olympics Gold Medal goes to...
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And I'll repeat myself again. I think this film looks like a Turner Movies colorization project. The weird peach hue on the actors faces. The crappy washed out colors. I think it looks like shit. I have no idea what the story is I'm just going on what I see in the tv spots. It looks very artsy fartsy and to me thats a turn off. Some people might like it, but i can't stand that aspect of it so far.
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It's not that I think it's going to be bad. It's that hardly anyone outside of the movie internet websites knows about it. I mean, theres flying under the radar and then theres complete anonimity. Someone better start pimping this thing and fast.
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At best this thing will be a cult success, doing Hellboy-like business. I predict $50 mil.
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Aug 30, 2004 11:56:24 AM CDT
Free Screeners are not the target audience. And that was Skull I
by eti
Some people get the historical references and some don't. Clearly this film is polarizing and I won't argue it isn't. However, I think there will be a huge segment of people who "get it" and will flock to Sky Captain. Interesting that almost everything "bad" sounded cool to me. Lord of the Rings? Try Lost Horizon. Either way, I'm so there. At least no one can say AICN doesn't run any negative reviews of this flick.
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does this guy have to mention how much the REST OF THE AUDIENCE didn't like the movie? Does this guy have an opinion of his own at all? I just love reviews that talk constantly about how someone ASSUMES everyone else feels.
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She was totally miscast in this movie and is a piece-of-sh_t actress. The only movie I enjoyed her in was Se7en, because she got her head chopped off.
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Aug 30, 2004 1:59:04 PM CDT
I get this sense that this could be another "Iron Giant"...a mov
by jim jam bongs
Maybe it will do okay at the box office, or maybe it will just bomb. Anyway, I think the reviewer's comparison of Jar-Jar leading the way for Golum is apt--perhaps "Sky Captain" will lead to a better movie that also uses its technology.
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Is get some implants and start posing in men's mags.
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Aug 30, 2004 2:05:48 PM CDT
Anyone who uses a-ight in a review is not to be taken seriously
by matthooper8
Thank goodness that stupidity shines through. Toss this one out with Harry's Faren-hate 9-11 review.
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Not all Americans tolerate noise in theaters. I usually end up threatening one person per show. My favorite time was when I ended up standing in front of a family that had brought their too-young children to LotR and had to explain EVERYTHING to them. The father, a coward, said nothing. The mom asked why I was standing in front of them and I replied that if I wasn't going to get to hear the movie, they wouldn't get to see the move. When she started to get cunty I responded that they had the option of getting a babysitter or waiting for DVD. Finally they moved to sit by the exit. My sweet victory was met with the applause of the surrounding patrons. ((Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, babysitters cost soooo much. LIES! Don't buy snacks or tickets for your kids and there you have the money for the babysitter. What a bullshit excuse. If you're really that hard-up for cash, what are you doing in a theater. Rent the movie.))--------------------- Another trick that I find works wonders is if some teeny boppers punks are playing with their text messages or cell-phones during the movie is to, without warning, kick the back of their chair. I don't mean tap, I mean KICK! It scares the hell out of them. Then you lean forward, get your head between their heads and say something like "I'm going to break your fucking teeth if you don't start behaving."------------------Another thing that I am pre-emptive about is those god-damned shoes with the lights on them. If a family comes by and any of their brats has a pair of those shoes on, you're in for trouble. You see, those kids can't even just sit. No, because they got those fucking shoes they have to kick their feet around. So if one of those creatures comes by you have to plainly state to the head of the family that his clan can not sit within eyesight unless he takes his kid's shoes off. I had some asshole say, "But he's just a kid." Gotta love that excuse. Who bought the shoes? Who put them on the kid? Who brought the shoe-clad kid into a darkened theater? Usually the family complies. Otherwise you have to resort to other tactics. Excessively foul talk to your friends or girlfriend will usually do the trick. (Though you have to love hypocrisy... Ever see a family guy complain to someone for using vulgar speech near their kid when they are waiting for the start of an R-rated film? Fucking genius.)-------------------- I got a million of them. People like going to the movies with me because even if the movie ends up sucking they at least get to see the movie without distraction. That said, I do believe that there is a huge difference between applauding/cheering and talking. The former is totally acceptable as a form of cathartic release. Give me a surprise beheading or impalation or otherwise bizarre/shocking death in a movie and I can't help but shout. What can I say?
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Aug 30, 2004 2:12:08 PM CDT
Before any of you recommend prompt medication, I should add...
by some dude
There are two reasons that I am so aggressive in these situations. The first is that I refuse to get up and leave the theater to report the problem to someone who does not care. Where does that get me? I miss five minutes of the movie and the problem doesn't get fixed. The second reason is that I have tried on many occassions to be polite. It just does not work. For some reason many people confuse a polite request with being rude ("How dare you ask me to be quiet?") or they assume that since you asked politely, you must be the kind of person who can't stop them otherwise if they refuse to comply.
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Aug 30, 2004 2:24:14 PM CDT
The interpretation of silence during a movie is too subjective t
by snarky
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Jesus... there's never been a more insipid slang word.
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Americans equate a polite request with the requester being a pussy. It only encourages them to show their asses even more. The only thing that works is a show of force. For example, my mom, a super-laid back woman, came to my University Commencement and some pubescents behind her were being little bitches. She asked them politely to stop, they didn't. She told them to stop, they didn't. When she hissed: (my brother swears) "See this purse strap? I swear to god I'm gonna fuckin' strangle you with it if you don't quit kicking my chair." They quit. BTW, at no point did their parental units intervene in this friendly exchange. I've had innumerable incidents like this in theatres. Which is probably why I am now a dedicated renter with a serious home-theatre addiction.
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I don't care about how the audience reacted to any movie, most of the movie going public are idiots anyway. Tell me what you thought of it, then leave it at that.
a-ight dude!a-ighta-ighta-ighta-ighta-ighta-ighta-ighta-ighta-ight -
I am definitely going to see this, because it looks so (visually) cool. But the whole "throwback" vibe never works. Reference: the Phantom (and Billy Zane actually, surprisingly, was good) Rocketeer (snoooooze!) and even the Shadow (remember when Alec Baldwin was a star?) None of those movies did well, because no one young (and by young I even include my pushing-40 self) is interested in period pieces, especially if that period is before the seventies but after the 1800s. And the "geezer" crowd isn't going to see this kind of "new fangled" movie either. On a side note, I am a Gwyneth fan, but the descriptions here of her character surely sound maximum-annoying.
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This is not the head you are looking for...
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Aug 30, 2004 5:32:44 PM CDT
I want to get pumped about this movie but I have my doubts thank
by super cucaracha
For Example: Harry & Co. creamed all over Anchorman and the movie was ass. Example no.2: Harry & Co. drooled all over Kill Bill 2 and the movie was ass with hemorrhoids. Example no.3: Harry & Co. geeked all over Hellboy and though the movie wasn't bad, it wasn't beautiful tits either. Example no.4: Harry kind of liked Alien vs Predator (the first half I think) and went out his way to fuck The Punisher sideways. The Punisher wasn't tits but it wasn't ass either ( it's a Biology lesson today kids ).**** I want to be a geek about this movie because I think Jude Law is great and Angelina's lips are made to suck cock but;... Harry has dissapointed me a few times.
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Can you take the color blue out of the sky? Can you grab the mountains and put them in a pocket? Can you sit down at a table with a knife and fork and try to eat a rainbow? No! And such is the mystery that is Harry!
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...but at least she had large breasts!
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Aug 30, 2004 6:32:41 PM CDT
just reading these talkbacks suggests that geezers are the audie
by eraser_x
I mean, the geriatric talkbackers are even making fun of the reviewer's use of "a-ight". Yeah, that's very worthwhile. (Sarcasm.) If some young people like to use "a-ight", then let them, what's the big deal? Every generation makes up its own stupid vocabulary. "Hep", "cool", "groovy", "radical", "brutal", "gnarly", ... "a-ight", whatever; who gives a shit? Anyhow, it sounds like the movie will be all style and no substance, unfortunately, and so I fear the geritol crowd will fail to impress their grandkids because kids are very good at seeing through bullshit, and seeing through the Emperor's invisible clothes. I hope that I am wrong and that the movie will actually have a story and interesting characters.
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And the reviewer is absolutely right.
In fact, I'd say he's too easy on the picture.
The look of the film is only interesting for like ten minutes. It's funny, I saw that trailer for Sky Captain this weekend and the trailer looks great.
The movie was not.
My biggest beef was that it felt like the new Star Wars flicks (which I like but...) in that the performances feel off. Like no one is talking to each other. They're all in big hollow rooms.
And yeah, Paltrow is annoying like Caphaw from Temple. -
You sound like the kind of guy that I'd love to have in my entourage at the movies! I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I read your posts because I have done some of the exact same things in movie theatres- specifically the kicking of seats except when I did it I kicked the kid in the head and the whiny bitch went and got the usher who came back and basically told the kid he shouldn't be using his cell phone in the movie!
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If I was to sit beside you I think I would make a tunneling machine to take to your brain case and the delicious brain cookies would fill my pants with jello. Style over Substance? Like THAT'S never happened!
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Aug 30, 2004 8:12:32 PM CDT
So THESE are the guys who are going to fuck up John Carter?
by timbenzedrine
No wonder this site has been sucking off the entire cast and crew for the past two weeks.
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That's like saying no one likes westerns. People like these things, they just like them better when they're done well. What about "Dick Tracy"? I remember that being up there with "Batman". There is no good reason for "The Rocketeer" to not have done well. For some reason I thought it was well recieved, but I guess I was wrong. "The Phantom" and "The Shadow" both suffered from poor scripts and reviews. If the critics get behind this it will at least recoup it's budget with a few million to go around. It's a shame it wasn't a summer movie, but I think it will be good enough to hold it's own without the climate of summer to bolster it onto success. However, like I said before, someone needs to heavily promote this.
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Aug 30, 2004 8:59:33 PM CDT
I'm loving this film already (see screen name), but the reviewer
by frankdrebin
Notice how THAT 70'S SHOW (which is STILL on the air, heaven help us) dropped the 70's references after the first season (except for the clothes and the cars). Teens aren't interested in "tributes to the past". I liked SCHOOL OF ROCK, but if Jack Black actually handed a Yes album to a kid today, he'd be told to shove it. Okay, I'm sounding like Grandpa Simpson...
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I agree with you, Eraser_X, that making fun of "a-ight" is a critism of style not substance. I don't mind that kind of criticism, but for me it doesn't impact the substance of the review. On the other hand, the actual substance of the review complemented the style and not the substance of the movie. In this regard, although I agree with Eraser_X that the movie may be a case of the "emperor's new clothes", I personally am still thirsty to see the film even if it's just for style. Cause style matters, a-ight.
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Aug 31, 2004 12:15:47 AM CDT
"Every generation makes up its own stupid vocabulary?"
by the killer-goat
Holy crap, man, "a-ight" is older than "bling-bling"! It was 'geriatric' in 1998 down in the Baltimore ghettos, for poop's sake! What 'new generation' is taking to champion this 'old' slang? Sheesh. Oh, and I reserve full and indifferent opinion on this film until I see it. Preferably in 5 or 6 months when the DVD is released, so I don't have to waste precious movie-watching energy on bitch-slapping noisy jackasses. If this performs as Hellboy did, it'll kick some major ass in the DVD buy/rental standings despite however the big screen receives it.
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Aug 31, 2004 12:34:04 AM CDT
Of the 4 Jude Law films this fall/winter, the four in order that
by howardroark
If this movie is good, why are they dumping it September and it will be forgotten about the next week when the next pile of garbage comes in and stinks up the place.
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Aug 31, 2004 9:20:07 AM CDT
"perhaps "Sky Captain" will lead to a better movie that also use
by minderbinder
Whether Sky Captain is the breakthrough remains to be seen...the reviews so far are pretty promising.
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Aug 31, 2004 9:31:55 AM CDT
"But the whole "throwback" vibe never works." Yeah, cause we al
by minderbinder
I don't even know what the hell "a-ight" is, thought it was a typo. So what the hell is it?
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Raiders of the Lost Ark was set in the 40's and did use a serial cliffhanger concept. But really, there wasn't much besides the cars that identified it as a movie in the past, as opposed to a very specific look and style in Sky Captain and others, which plays up the "tribute to the past" thing, and that is box office poision. Spielbergo used the serial action to make a really fast-paced flick, and that formula has led to other set-in-the-past-but-not-so-much-and-have-a-lot-of-bloodless-action movies like the Mummy pictures (which blow but were quite successful), rather than to Sky Captain. Like I said, I look forward to seeing this movie but it seems more like a pet project than a big hit.
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"....but leave my nice little jewish wife and my baby son too, for this blonde shikzah goddess." I'm guessing that Kate must give the best head in Hollywood.
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Why do foreigners(when I say this I mean Monkey Butler) always have to pretend that anybody gives a shit about the fact that they're foreign(when I say this, I'm pretty sure I mean European, but I could be wrong), or thinks it somehow makes them better. We don't give a shit and it doesn't make you better. At least our plumbing doesn't lead into the streets.
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There are a few, very rare occasions when noise from the audience is appropriate -- even desirable. If South Park BL&U is on the screen it's okay to laugh out loud. When Ripley says "Get away from her, you BITCH!" it's okay to cheer. Ditto when Rocky wins - but only in Rocky II and Rocky IV. You may also cheer when Indy beats the shit out of Pat Roach. Screaming like a bitch (or sharting if you prefer) is an acceptable reaction to THAT scene in Exorcist III, when Sadako climbs out of the TV, and when the ball bounces down the stairs in The Changeling. If none of these situations pertain to you while in the theatre, then SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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One of my fondest cinematic memories if of attending a midnight screening of Terminator 2 on opening night back in 1991. The whole theatre was packed with Arnie freaks, and everybody went absolutely apeshit as soon as he said anything. They even cheered when his name popped up in the credits. It never felt intrusive because nobody said things like "Uh-uh, don't go into that room, Arnie!" It was all very respectful and oddly controlled. It actually enhanced the experience. Good times...
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You guys can go on about the "style" of the movie or how it's a "geek" thing, but I think you're out in left field. I mean, I'll give this movie a chance, but the movie flat-out looks like the corniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. It's going to bomb--BIG time.
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I hear you man, keep fighting the fine fight. I used to be the same way but then Ive calmed down and I go see my movies in the expensive side of town where only rich people go. while I leave the ghetto morons to their bad habits
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Aug 31, 2004 11:13:58 PM CDT
I hate morons in movie theatres and I love people who fight agai
by spectrebeeyatch
I for one like to annoy the shit out of people who leave cell phone's on or decide to talk or yell stupid shit during movies. I buy Milk Duds all the time, I eat half the box because if you eat to many of those they'll pull your teeth out, but then save the rest for A-holes in the theatre. I did this in Spider-man 2 one of my best shots ever, I was in fifth row the guy was way in the back, turned tossed BAM and he didn't see it coming. If more people do this the idiots will stop its just like training animals haha. Plus I'll see Sky Captain it looks new and an original unlike alot of other crap movies that have been coming out lately
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WTF? is the "l" and "r" just to much fucking effort now days?
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...IRONY ALERT>>>
you start you complaint about lack of letters with "WTF"... I think that this is missing considerably more letters that the "word" that you complain about.
You see it is kind of what Alanis Morissette might call "Ironic"...don't you think(sorry I missed out a letter, but I think that it is an acceptable spelling convention)
>>>IRONY OVER... -
Sep 01, 2004 8:19:48 AM CDT
What's wrong with a little cheese? Didn't hurt any of the films
by minderbinder
(at least from a box office perspective) Cheese can sell if it's done right.
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Sep 01, 2004 8:21:20 AM CDT
And I still don't get this "a-ight" thing...is it some bizarre s
by minderbinder
Is it just something you see typed, or do people actually say it?
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People, young urban people or those who emulate them, most certainly do say a'ight. By the way, I live in a "ghetto"-adjacent area and the people at the nearby cinema are no more or less annoying in the big three of movie ruining: inappropriate loud talking, cell phones and crying babies, than in the more upscale theaters I go to. The only thing that's worse about it are the teens coming in and out of the theater, theater-hopping. But I avoid Friday night movies since that's the teenfest.
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It is a category of fiction from the 30's and 40's. And yes, Indiana Jones is definitely a Pulp hero... As is The Phantom, The Shadow, Doc Savage, and Sky Captain. http://www.thepulp.net/
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you're the truth, man
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I'm just one man. If we all get tohether on this perhaps we can restore a sense of civility to the movie experience. Keep up the good fight.
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It's great reading these stories of people fighting back against rude people in the theaters. It's becoming increasingly agitating to go to the theater due to the rising number of assholes that you have to put up with. One funny experience that I had was just before Christmas -- my wife and I went to see ROTK and the person behind me was kicking the back of my seat repeatedly, being the fair person that I am, I politely asked him to stop (he was a teenager). Thankfully, he stopped the kicking, but his teenage sister says in a sarcastic tone of voice "Well, merry Christmas to you too" as though I was supposed to just let this punk kick the back of my seat for the entire movie. Like somebody said before, there is no good way to ask people to stop the kicking or to shut up without them getting defensive. Oh, and by the way, thanks to howardroark for giving us the heads up on which upcoming Jude Law movies are worth seeing after having viewed all of them already. You HAVE seen them, right? Right?
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...to those fighting the good fight in our theaters: Pick your targets. At the premiere of Spider Man 2, my younger brother and I were fully immersed in our silent, slack-jawed geekdom when suddenly I was struck square in the chest by a three-quarters-full vanilla milkshake (I know it was vanilla because I had to smell it for the last hour of the movie). I was in utter disbelief and outrage but didn't want to ruin what was otherwise a great film experience for those around me. So I quietly asked the young man in front of me if he'd lost something. Seeing me and the seriousness of my demeanor, he quickly assured me he had not but that he was fairly certain it had belonged to the person in front of him. So I made my way, hunched over so as not to disturb the folks behind me, around to find a 16 or 17 year old boy sitting and giggling with his possibly 14-year-old girlfriend. I quietly asked the boy if he'd thrown his shake behind him for some reason and he, also seeing the seriousness of my demeanor, quickly told me the beverage had belonged to his girlfriend. Now, while this young lummox sat fidgeting nervously and I stared at this tiny girl beside him in disbelief, she stood up and proudly proclaimed: "Yeah... I threw it. But someone was throwing ice at me, so I had to do something!" I couldn't help it... I had to laugh. Out loud. Then I told her boyfriend he had about three minutes until I got back from the bathroom and he needed to have this psycho little bitch out of the theater by then. I can't really blame the girl. We were in a pretty ritzy suburb populated largely by wealthy, conservative parents and their spoiled, clueless larvae. And in a nation where it was perfectly acceptable for our Commander in Chief to order a full-on military strike against the first country to look sideways at us after we took two planes to our World Trade Center, the "staggering around looking for someone to hit" brand of justice probably seemed perfectly acceptable and even heroic to her. These are fucked up times we live in, boys and girls. So pick your targets carefully before you become the asshole in the theater creating the disturbance.
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