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Natalie Portman strips for you in glorious Quicktime!!!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a great looking trailer for the upcoming Mike Nichols film CLOSER starring Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. That cast and that director (and Portman playing a stripper, naturally) make this one of my most anticipated movies of the year, even if I'm more of a romantic at heart and this film seems to be pretty cynical when it comes to love. Can't wait either way!
CLICK IT HERE FOR PINK-WIG WEARING NATALIE PORTMAN! YUM-YUM!!!
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...with Natalie! ;OD -
Dialogue written by Hallmark.
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Nothing new. I've seen Natalie Portman stripping in my dreams for years.
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This may wind up being one of the most viewed AICN articles ever.
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That trailer was ass. I have a headache.
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Nichols is a genious for pulling WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF, no matter what he does, he is still a genious for that... And I loved this trailer despite Roberts, how come this woman is rich and famous? I'll never know.
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For great stripper action, and a SUPER movie, no less. I, too, have never seen the attraction of Julia Roberts. Although she is much better in fluffier roles. Playing a hard ass, like in Brockovich, I just can't take her seriously. You know what it is? She is the perfect example of what happens when an actress loses too much weight. She looks very strange now; almost unpleasant. As a younger, "healthier" actress she was actually kind of cute. Now...eeek! Brittany Murphy seems headed down the same path. As for Mike Nichols...seems like he's on the downward slide of his career. "Wit" was okay, I suppose, as was "Primary Colors", but he's in a 10 year slump, IMHO.
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Aug 25, 2004 11:39:20 PM CDT
Natalie Portman as a stripper...? She's the symbol of purity...
by alcamaeon
I'm cornfuzed. I thought Natalie Portman didn't do these 'types' of films. Now Christina Ricci will be out of work... In my opinion Natalie Portman is the complete opposite of a 'stripper physique'. She still looks 14 with all that baby fat and no chest. It's just wrong.
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how I indifferent I feel about Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman....really.
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can't even write anymore....good weed.
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Fuck! You gotta warn people when Julia Roberts is just going to show up out of nowhere and be the main character. That horrendous acting can't be viewed cold without causing seizures. I think we need a recut trailer with only Natalie Portman.
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C'mon, y'all, this trailer came out over two weeks ago. Why do we all still come here? Coming Soon, Dark Horizons, Cinescape, and countless other sites are more deserving of our patronage than this whack HTML 1.0 site. This place is busted.
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Cant wait to see it.
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Damn that bastard. Now make him Bond since he's obviously a playa.
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Aug 26, 2004 12:50:40 AM CDT
This one looks like a real shitburger, stripping Portman or no.
by durendal
Seriously, just because Portman runs around in a skimpy outfit, I'm supposed to go see it? Hell no. I doubt we see her little titties anyway. If I wanted that, I'd download porn. This one looks like another shitstain on the underwear of the drooling mongoloid known as Hollywood.
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Aug 26, 2004 12:56:43 AM CDT
the only time in AICN history where the term "GLORIOUS QUICKTIME
by tall_boy
otherwise knock that shit off. Now if you'll excuse me, I must fap.
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Aug 26, 2004 1:03:21 AM CDT
I must be the only person on the planet not turned on by Natalie
by theginger twit
Give me size 14 Christina Ricci any day!
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If I see Jude Law in another new trailer this year...geez- there's getting around and then there's being a complete whore. Not that I don't like him but damn, save some of the roles out there. This movie looks like it could be a real disaster if it takes itself too seriously- which after seeing the trailer, it appears it's doing. I also think Julia Roberts is coming down with a little Affleck-attack. She should try gaining back a little cred by taking some supporting roles. The last few haven't been working out for her.
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No, but putting all of that to one side for a moment, in all seriousness.
Natalie Portman, I so would. -
my god, she has 3 different hair colors just in the trailer.
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if I remember the stripping is just one scene, she isn't a stripper through the whole thing though, and the way it read it could easily play with her revealing nothing more than what we saw in the trailer. Good play though, looking forward to it.
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Aug 26, 2004 2:57:27 AM CDT
I can't wait to buy popcorn for this so that...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
by howardroark
if I was 50 i wouldn't be interested in this crap.
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She looks like every kid Jewish kid, boy or girl, I grew up with. Hardly exotic. Maybe they don't have cute Jewish chicks where you guys grew up, but she's pretty average to me. Though I AM glad to see, between Portman and Gellar, that you guys appreciate HOT JEWS. Maybe this site isn't at cloed-minded as its rep.
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God, I'm tired of this f... face.
And Julia Roberts,...
And Mike Nichos, god, he hasn't done a decent picture since like, what, 15 years? And a GREAT movie since like, 1971's Carnal knowledge and 1970's Catch-22?
Portman is gorgeous, but her (nice) breasts, for a stripper, come on...TOO SMALL (but nice...)! ;) -
Who the hell thought Clive (charisma vacumn)Owen should play James Bond?
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Actors emoting and needing to feel.
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than see this piece of garbage. Natalie Portman is kind of cute, I've always thought Julia Roberts was fugly and a lousy "actress", and what the hell happened to Mike Nichols' sensibilities? Wasn't he connected with that stupid Gary Shandling thing a couple of years ago? This movie will NOT be viewed for critics, will make $13M opening weekend (maybe more with NP as a stripper) but will get no repeat business and will be a huge failure. What tripe.
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Anyway who gives a rat's ass about natalie portman, when you can see the luscious Jude Law (did you see his cute little firm butt in the Talented Mr. Ripley). He is a dreamboat, i'd bend him over and be like, 'Hey Sky Captain get a little Closer to this'. Hell, i'd even let Clive Owen join the party. Julia Roberts can fuck of though.
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Actually, I shouted "BULLSHIT!" when the camera tilted up to reveal horse-face Skeletor, but I know how you feel. It was especially wrong because Brad Pitt had just told us how beautiful this woman is supposed to be, but then it turns out to be friggin' Julia Roberts. A bad movie was made even worse. Is it just me or does it look like she was born without a mouth and the obstetrician just took a razor and slashed her face open?
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I've always thought Julia Roberts was horse-faced and a lousy actress...and I agree with whoever said that she seems to be hiding a lot of hostility behind that gaping maw. I'm sure her many many ex's have stories. Natalie Portman is very pretty, but has that permanent sneer that keeps her from being truly beautiful in my eyes, unlike Keira, who is stunning. I like the pink wig tho. Not many can pull that off.
Jude Law is a babe, and seems to be a cool guy in RL, but other than Enemy at the Gate, I haven't really enjoyed his movies...and Clive Owen just sickens me on every level.
Even if I was the type of woman who got off on romance and love triangle movies, I still wouldn't see this. -
...let's bring in your Taliban Right Wing mentality to Hollywood...that MUST be better than anything going now. Another "baby-boomer" cliche promulgated by yet another Bearer of the Right's Catechism Brigade. Now, start that cut n' pasting...
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1. Natalie Portman looked more interesting in SW-Episode 2 than in this trailer.
2. I like the music they've chosen.
3. Never judge a movie after seeing just a trailer but THIS looks like an average love story ;-)
4. ...still waiting for a new Adrian Lyne "relationship"-film 'cause i loved IndecentProposal and Unfaithful. -
...that Natalie Portman asked that her strip scene be cut from the movie. It only survives in the trailer? Meanwhile, Jude Law is OK, but whoa is he about to be overexposed: Sky Captain, Alfie, I Heart Huckabee, Closer, and I think I missed a couple more. What the hell kind of career management is that? This was a good trailer because of the sweet music cut well to all those good lookin' folks, 'cept poor Julia, she's gettin' old.
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WTF? I thought Julia Roberts stipulates that every film trailer she
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I usually don't praise others' posts, but stools just made me piss myself. Holy shit, that was funny.
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If you had to choose (gun to your head type of question): Who would you rather have in that pink wig giving you a personal dance, Natalie Portman or Avril Lavigne?
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Portman or Lavigne? I can see where you're going here, but try out this little experiment. Leaving aside either's attitude, talent or lack thereof, do a quick google and find a closeup of Lavigne's face. Now, imagine her without the crap makeup job. Yup, there you have it; she's good looking. Funny when good looks can be a detriment to your chosen career path.
tpat. -
Fuck me, that's the best sleep I've had all year.
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I knew it was only a matter of time. The seminal pink wig. I had a feeling all these has- beens would be ripping off Sofia the second she got hot. Just stick Bill Murray in it why don't you?!
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Aug 27, 2004 12:28:18 PM CDT
Dream on geekers: not a snowball's chance in hell you're getting
by burnhollywood
It's a chick movie. Chick movie means: bare back or side-boob tops. Also, I think the strip scenes are Clive's horny fantasies. *** Why don't they all just have a f**kin' four-way for two hours and get it over with? Or maybe Jude could tag off with Clive in an alternating three-way...or WAY better yet, have Natalie Portman and lookalike Kiera Knightly do it for THREE HOURS, no Clive, Jude or Julia...
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You've utterly nailed it, because me and some other guys arrived at this same theory a while back. Independent verification is the most scientific way to validate theories, right? *** Natalie's smells like strawberries, but Julia's LOOKS LIKE S'mores. *** Ha, ha. That's rough and I don't really mean it, but there's a reputation of cruelty on this site to uphold, y'know?
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Aug 27, 2004 4:49:21 PM CDT
Misleading headline - she doesn't strip, she starts out in prett
by minderbinder
Still pretty amusing, though the movie looks dull.
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And ending up completely unsatisfied. Don't be fooled by the accents ladies. The accents are whimpy and so is their game.
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