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ALIEN VS PREDATOR review
ALIEN VS PREDATOR is Paul W.S. Anderson’s very best movie.
Now is that a good thing? Absolutely, I love that he’s made a film that I almost really liked. I mean, it’s fantastic that I’m sitting down at the ol computer not pissing blood stained urine over his latest cinematic atrocity. Rather – he’s moved up the ladder a couple of rungs to making an entertaining piece of shit, rather than just plain ol shit. This one is a turd that resembles something you know, and as a result… you get amused, you smile… Hell, depending how crass you are, you might even keep it around a bit to show various friends, or take pictures and post em to the internet. It’s that sort of bad.
Now, I enjoyed the film… so why pick on it? Well… it’s pretty simple, to just kinda like an ALIEN VS PREDATOR movie well… it’s nice, but I wanted to come out of a film with this title screaming, “HOLY FUCK, THAT KICKED MY ASS!” Ya know? I mean, let’s face it… There are certain “vs” flicks that we’ve been dying to see forever. Godzilla Vs Gamera, Stallone Vs Schwarzenegger, Ash vs Everybody, Derek vs The Bastard Planet, Bruce Lee vs Jet Li, Ghostbusters Vs Casper, Cheech & Chong Vs The Blues Brothers in a Battle of the Band spectacular, Barbarella Vs Alfie… the list goes on and on. But at the top of that geek list… has to be ALIEN VS PREDATOR.
The dream is a film that marries the sheer horror action of James Cameron’s ALIENS and John McTiernan’s PREDATOR. Both films featured outstanding military units that were ready for every ‘known’ thing running into the nightmare of nightmares. In both cases we had creatures that progressively fucked our shit up big time. Not only that, but they didn’t feel like they were going through the paces, they felt organic and new. In the case of PREDATOR it was, we’d never seen anything like that before. In ALIENS – Cameron took what we knew… that one Alien against a weaponless helpless crew was truly terrifying… that it’s specialty was camouflaging itself within a technological environment and being simple, organic perfection… and pitting it against a military crew that was prepared for a bug hunt enemy, but not expecting its keen intelligence and overwhelming ZULU-esque numbers.
Now – the biggest problem with making an ALIEN VS PREDATOR is bringing something new to the table. P.w.s.A. seems to be subscribing to the theory that Bigger is Better. Cuz, the Predators and Aliens are all physically bigger than they ever were. The Alien Queen must be 25, 30ft tall at least. The Predators come across as being about 8-9ft tall and they really seem to all be suffering some sort of inadequacy via their steroid abuse and all their weapons are like “UBER-SIZED.” Now – that isn’t all bad… the oversized Predator claws and glaves and spears… they’re all kinda cool. The gigantic weapon tail that now, every Alien has is also kinda cool. The hero Alien with the net scars upon it is cool. The hero predator with the markings is cool.
The Chinese Box Aztec/Egyptian/Angkor-ian pyramid and it’s mechanized rats-in-maze thing is kinda fun. Now – Quint in his review said I had a problem with the time frame aspect of the film… actually – that’s not true. A friend of ours named Kraken (in the chatroom) had issues with how quickly a human went from Facehuggered to Chestbusted to Full Grown Aliens. It seemed to be quite accelerated. In the original Alien, I don’t believe that Ridley ever really handled the time frame of the incubation. How long was the Facehugger on Kane? Once he was awake… how long till ‘Pop goes the Weasel’? Was that an hour, 3 hours, 24 hours? What? Now in the film, it seems due to this “every ten minutes the pyramid changes” that in about 30 minutes the humans go from having a face hugger to there being full grown Aliens running around. Personally – I forgave this without so much as a problem… Sure, a better filmmaker would have made this changing prison maddening. Kinda like how they dealt with the keep everyone moving nature in BATTLE ROYALE. At no point is there a sense of exhaustion, exasperation or even desperation. Then – Paul didn’t really write any of that for these characters.
The part of this that’ll drive you batty, is imagining what a really great filmmaker might have done with Paul W.S. Anderson’s story. To me, creating a rites of manhood Predator test involving humans and aliens… well, it’s a pretty great premise. Tying Predators into the early cultures of Earth like the Aztecs… well, I’ve spent so much time around the Mayan and Aztec temples that while it very much is the cheesiest version of fusing that culture to this story… It still tickled me the right way.
Now are there ludicrously stupid moments? Um, yeah… The whole “hunter’s moon” bit was groan-worthy. Nearly every moment of the chemist fella is excruciatingly bad. The lead actress just doesn’t have “it”. She just feels lame here. Ya know… I think it is fascinating to watch her non-evolution. I mean, Paul W.S. claims to have studied ALIEN inside and out, but the great thing about Ripley is she usually EMERGES as the story is told, she doesn’t take center stage completely till later in the story. There is never a doubt who is gonna come through in this thing. And we don’t really care. I really wish there had been more to all of this. I mean take a look at the casts of ALIEN, ALIENS and PREDATOR. Look at those personalities, those actors. They rule. These actors, don’t. Lance is kind of a distraction in the film, and I get what he was trying to do, but really… having the Alien and the Predator is enough to tie them to those franchises without a labored nod that didn’t work in ALIEN 3 at all when he came in at the end.
The whole…. JURASSIC PARK make-up of the team being various scientists and experts just doesn’t work. And the military guys that are on the team? They’re LAME. There isn’t an ounce of testosterone in any of them. Of course, the Predator is supposed to be just a pure badass enough for everyone, but frankly… They’re just not given enough to do. Oddly, the thing I thought I would hate most was my favorite thing of all… The action team up of the Predator and the human survivor. All I could think is… How completely badass this would be, if that was Stallone or Arnie. As it was, it works, just not at the level that it should have. Having it be a female creates a weird romantic thing that just DOES NOT WORK with large audiences. There will be an asshole to scream out “KISS” “KISS” “KISS” at your screening, and it’s just something that can’t be helped. Whereas, had this been Sam Jackson at the end… The quiet moments would be two badasses sizing each other up. As it comes across, it feels like… foreplay.
No matter what – with all the faults – the fact that I feel had there been any number of other filmmakers involved, better casting, better storytelling, better action… no matter all of that, I still enjoyed the film. It could have been so much better, but with this director, it also could have been A LOT WORSE. Like I said, that I don’t hate it is amazing. Perhaps there is hope for Mr Paul W.S. Anderson. Perhaps stoning him would be premature, he could actually maybe, one day make a movie that I like without having dozens of problems with, and like without any conditions. Then again, maybe this will be his crowning achievement, in which case… hey, at least we got an ok movie out of the guy, something that kinda works as a vague drive-in kinda film!
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how cheap the aliens and predators look. They looked better in the Batman: Dead End short, and that's saying something. You know it seemed really awesome the first time I saw it, but now that I think about it, what the fuck were Batman and Alien and Predator doing fighting anyway? That's a pretty senseless question, never mind.
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I know I'm going to hate this movie, but I'll have to see it anyway.... sounds worse then I even thought though, lol.
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Is like saying that the last time I had the flu was the best time I had the flu. Give me a break, Harry. This guy is one terrible director, the "WS" probably standing for "what shite!"
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The mere concept of a film like this is a complete BULLSHIT. Best Anderson Movie?
This STUPIDITY better than EVENT HORIZON? Come on, Harry, watching too much trash has seriously damaged ur brain, there is no other possible explanation.
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Sorry Harry, but your hatred for Anderson is completely over the top and unwarranted. True, Anderson's no genius filmmaker, his movies are mostly mediocre, but to treat them like they were the very worst coming out of the Hollywood factory is ridiculous.
"Event Horizon" was a good sci-fi horrormovie that whoever I show it to, people always love it, however derivative it was, it scared the crap of quite a few people I know.
Both "Resident Evil" as well as "Soldier" were run of the mill movies, but no worse then the average action/scifi/horror movie coming out of Hollywood.
Yes, "Mortal Kombat" was crap, but so what?
You need to get a reality check and let go off this in my view completely grown out of proportion hatred that has become rather laughable.
There's many, many worse moviemakers outthere that excreed movies in Hollywood on a weekly basis.
Of course you're entitled to your opinion, but it just seems a bit too personal, like the guy offended you on a personal level, because we've all seen youy give negative reviews of movies but this director seems to be a special case with you and from the outside this seems unfounded. -
Aug 13, 2004 6:42:42 AM CDT
At least David Fincher did a great job establishing mood and atm
by fd resurrected
Paul WS Anderson still have no idea how to do that, just direct the hell out of a script and hope all is improved by the magic of editing. What's up with Robert Rodriguez's plan for Predator 3? We need Predator to kick ass in R-rated profane gorefest, not pansy PG-13 shit!
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The comic for AvP was so incredible, that it BEGGED to become a movie. Phil Norwood is a freakin' storyboard artist! IT would have been perfect to translate the first AvP comic to the screen.
It was so obvious, they didn't need to pay a screenwriter to come up with something from scratch, and...and, they suck is all I can think of.
What could have been incredible, is now, in the words of Harry, 'shit'. -
Hey, waddaya know, review sounds fair and balanced. The idea of Anderson directing this movie made me ill. The trailers made me hope. The reality I expected to be something in-between. So this review sounds like the movie will be exactly what I expected - not a train wreck, but far short of what a good director, screewriter and big budget could've delivered. Hell, they should've just given Cameron a blank check and said "please make this movie for us. We are not worthy". You know he'd have come through with one of the best genre films of all time.
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I'd hoped this film would dive bomb in a way not seen before. If the film is mediocre at best that still means dicks will go see it, earning money for Fox who will then (possibly) employ this cockend again. If they dont, some other studio will... Jesus, I couldnt sit through the whole of Event Horizon, Resident Evil was just plain BAD... so bad I laughed all the way through.. even Shaun Of The Dead was scarier. Please NO ONE employ Paul W.S. Anderson again
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What happened to the running time? Dark Horizons posted an interview with Anderson with this question: "What's the running time you're shooting for? A: I don't know. The script is like 110 pages, I mean, it's not going to be ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, but it's not going to be 90 minutes either". Makes me wonder how much the studio interfered with the final product. 87 friggin' minutes?
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How about Matt Damon's Jason Bourne! Golly!
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Any director who can take a sci-fi premise with as much rich potential as Alien Vs Predator and turn it into anything less than something amazing doesn't deserve to be a director.
I mean, fucking hell..the thing would practically write and direct itself, surely?
I was really hoping against hope that it would be good, too. Damn my mindless optimism.
Ah well....I guess I could always play Alien and Predator at the same time on two TVs and cross my eyes. It might work. -
your being to damn nice. For one thing I'm suprised you didn't address the dumbed down PG13 rating.
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Impostor! I don't believe these words were typed by Harry!!!
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Aug 13, 2004 8:50:32 AM CDT
I suspected Harry might like Worthless Shit's Anderscum's drivel
by salvatoregravano
After all, Harry liked Van Helsing and some other horrible trash whose title I mercifully forgot (no, not Catwoman, but something as bad as Van Hellstink)... something strange is happening this summer.
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...would be a snuff video with him as the object of the "action".
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Aug 13, 2004 9:00:08 AM CDT
His films ain't all that bad (except Soldier, Soldier was trully
by flipao
I really liked Mortal Kombat, now it feels somewhat dated, specially the CGI, but he delivered the first proper film based on a videogame...
Event Horizon was as a fun ride.
And Resident Evil might not have been a very good zombie movie, but it was a good popcorn movie... it built up tension rather nicely, and excepting a couple of crap scenes it was pretty tight, and justified its sequel. I understand Romero would have made a better geek film, but that ain't enough reason to keep bashin' pool ol' Paul :P
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Agreed. I though Event Horizon was a decent sci-fi horror film. Sure, it wasn't exceptional, but it was ok. And I always wondered what it would've looked like if it wasn't for the studio-enforced cuts. Also, Resident Evil was a passable piece of popcorn fun. No oscar winner, but nothing that wrong with it for a bit of mindless entertainment. To be fair to Anderson, I don't think he's a great director by any means, but I'm not convinced that he's ever really been given a clear run at a film without studio interference. I mean who seriously thinks Anderson wanted a PG13 rating for this? All the sings are that he was told to deliver that rating. Cinemas are listing run-time at 87 mins, but I've seen a coupld of reviews list it as longer - if the 87 mins are accurate, we know he was aiming for a longer movie, so it'd be safe to assume enforced cuts. Gonna hold out to see if this is released as an unrated DVD. Might be a little better. Also, it pissed me off to see people complaining about continuity and plot holes - but people still defend Alien 3, and that threw continuity out of the window from the opening frame! AVP might well be a festering turd of a movie, but i don't think Anderson can be held entirely accountable - and I'll stick good money on it being a better attempt in the Alien franchise than Alien 3/4.
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What a bonafide piece of junk.....
If you are a fan of Aliens and Predator, you will be highly disappointed. This film is merely made for the mainstream fans who have never seen a film in either franchise. It is clearly PG13 as it doesn't have blood in most fights. I would not mind that, but damn. Humans are dispatched rather quickly. Some people are only there the be quickly killed offscreen. There is no Cameron-esque or Ridley Scott like action sequences. All we get are rehashes of scenes that were done better in previous films.
Sanaa Lathan is good, but she suffers from being compared to Ellen Ripley. That's unfair to her. She'll survive and I'm sure she'll be offered the role of Storm in X3.
The movie is extremely short. I thought I was watching a Sci-Fi original film. It's as if it has an extended begining and end with no middle. The action is directed sloppily, half the time you can't see what was going onscreen.
******Spoiler Warning******
The film throws out anything we learned about the Aliens or Predators in previous films.
One single alien lays waste to not one, but TWO predators. Ellen Ripley killed Aliens left and right and one alien kills 2 predators? Also Newt survived in an Alien infested colony all by herself for days. Come on now.
The face suckers attack you, then fall off and within ten minutes a chest burster comes out of you. That wasn't like in previous films where the chest burster takes time before it comes out.
Sanna joins sides with the Predators and they make her a shield out of an Alien head. So Alien heads have no acidy alien blood? Wouldn't her arm have been burned?
There are no good fights except the one on Apple.com and even that one is silly.
The big battle with the queen is anti-climactic. And extremely rushed.
The Predators look overweight.
And the movie is fairly predictable.
The ending is atrocious. SUPER SPOLIER WARNING>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A chest burster comes out of a Predator with a Predator face..... WTF? Since when did this malarkey happen? I am so tired of Paul Anderson ruining films. When will the maddness end?
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Aug 13, 2004 9:40:10 AM CDT
Harry, you also like Licking Moriarty's arse! Is it as good as l
by theginger twit
I just don't have a good feeling about this film.
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Can't imagine Harry not hating this. A sense something rotten.
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...because I KNOW I'm gonna hate the film and still fucking caugh up the bucks to see it. I don't hate WS Andreson, I hate myself.
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Aug 13, 2004 9:53:44 AM CDT
Harry and Morty must be special friends with privileges like Sig
by eye_h8_u
Serious though you gotta be somewhat gay to post a cartoon of yourself in your buddy's ass! And I know that it's a referrence to "Eyes Wide Shut"-- It is still nauseating! Take it down Knowels you sick puppy!
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Whilst we in the UK havent seen AVP yet, i would just like to say that i think Harry's review is great and seems very fair indeed, but as for some of you so called film fans (see pretentious wankers) who keep pouring out never ending vitriol about Paul WS Anderson, please STOP now, its boring, probably very insulting to the bloke himself and frankly downright rich that a bunch of geeks who probably dont know one end of a camera to the other and are all still virgins anyway are contantly having a go a guy who at the very least has got further in life than they ever will, is shagging Milla Jojovich and living the dream of making movies and making millions for himself in the process-he may not be the best director in the world but at least hes left his parents house, lost his cherry and isnt a pretentious twat like some the people who write in to this website
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fuck this movie, its bad, no way to go around it.
its not worth supporting it just to see how bad it is.
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Someone please elaborate on this absurdity for me.
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I've read Harry's review twice now, just to make sure I was reading correctly. It's no secret that Harry wanted badly to hate this movie. His loathing for Anderson is a matter of public record (and largely unwarranted, in my opinion). But if you strip out all of the crap about what Harry believes all good geeks should have wanted this film to be (i.e. things that are not direct criticisms of the movie as it does exist) you wind up with a sci-fi/action flick that Harry actually enjoyed in a cheesy "versus" sort of way. I don't necessarily think Harry should've cluttered up his review with thoughts of what might have been (but obviously he had to find some reason to fault Anderson), because the bits he does spend on the arguable merits of the film itself seem very fair and balanced (in a non-Fox News sort of way). Definitely this review carries more weight for me than the numberous bashes Quint posted the other day. Those just seemed like gut-level hatred reactions strung up with spoilers as if to prove that the person "reviewing" the movie actually saw it (which is kind of silly when we all know spoilers are readily available online and even in trailers). I don't think this will sway me to see the film in the theater just because I can't endorse the PG-13 rating the studio saddled this thing with. But, as someone else here pointed out and I indicated yesterday, this could be a real gem in Director's Edition DVD with all of the lovely ultra violence edited back in. You're making progress with your issues Harry. Keep up the good work.
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... not to say I didn't like this movie, I did. I thought the story had some eye-rolling moments, but the action saved it for me and I liked the human-Predator team up. But Event Horizon had a strong cast and great story... and, man, it was creepy as HELL (no pun intended). All in all a much better movie, IMHO! But the director should be shot for some of his other crap!
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Who cares about the creatures anyway? Lance Henriksen has a starring role in a summer blockbuster! This is what matters! (Even if it isn't Millennium, the movie!) My wife and I have been rewatching Millennium thanks to the excellent season one boxed set from Fox and I will say what I said last night as we finished "the Judge." Lance Henriksen is an amazing actor and every episode of Millennium for the first two seasons was better and more chilling than any movie.
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That entire paragraph about the timeframe thing was so fuckin' nerdy. It's a movie dude. That's all there is to it. There are aliens bursting through people's chest, invisible Predator walking around collecting skulls, and a moving pyramid under Antarctica in this movie you question the logic of the timeframe?
I have only actually seen Resident Evil so I can't say I'm a huge Paul WS fan, but I loved RE. And judging by these clips on the Apple site, this movie should be fucking awsome as well.
The guy's not a bad film-maker at all. He's a great one. RE was the best movie ever adapted from a video game - the movie felt like a played out a video-game as well. I reckon this movie will be one of the best in both franchises (I mean, nothing can be worse than Alien3, Ressurerrection or Predator 2).
This movie is aimed at teenagers like my self obviously, so accept that instead of bashing because you wanted it to fit you're nerdy-needs - that goes for all you other fuckers on the board too. -
Aug 13, 2004 11:16:39 AM CDT
If I remember correctly the film takes place in one day 10/10/20
by mr. profit
They try to explain the significance of the date but by then you are just craving for action that you are not caring about anything else.
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Positive reviews for Van Helsing and AvP, but he cr@pped all over The Punisher? Ia he living in Bizarro world? Well, I only come here for the funny TB's anyway, what do I care.
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A sequel that completely ignores the truisms of the fiction that came before it demeans the mythology. How the fuck does an Xenomorph Queen die exactly in Arctic waters but can survive in the vacuum of space at O Kelvin?
These and many other galring inconsistencies piss me off! The script doesn't respect the mythology and Paul "Warm Spunk" Anderson doesn't respect the fans! EAT A DICK PAUL!!! -
We want something better! Something to truly kick butt. Supense as to which humans might live. Surprises! Kick-butt action. Not go-thru-the-motions directing by Paul "Whale Sperm" Anderson.
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To Paul WS Anderson I can only think of one thing to tell him. You're ruining our franchises motherfucker. I don't care who you are back in the world. Direct another Alien or Predator movie again I'll cut ya bleed ya real quiet and leave ya here, got that?
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I must have missed that. Say what you will about this movie, the acting was god awful. Why do people think that if you take 2 movie franchises, neither of which can stand on its own two feet, and combine them you'll get something better? So far we've only got something worse. Let the Aliens and Predators die already.
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The alien queen survived in the vacuum of space? Are you referring to Aliens or to one of the novels or what? Becuase if it's Aliens, I was pretty sure the queen died in space. Oh yeah, I finally saw Hellboy, and you know what? I kind of thought it sucked. Except that Kroenen guy was the shit. Cheerio
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Talkbackers rule!! I love you all!
http://www.probotproductions.com/alien5squared.htm
The best Alien film released this year. -
I find Anderson's previous films to be ok-ish, undemanding fun flicks whic are instantly forgotten. But to hand this priceless opportunity to a journeyman instead of a master is just unforgivable. That the result would be ham-fisted mediocrity was totally predictable. The worst thing is that it sort of poisons the well, there will be no more Alien or Predator films after this. Send a message to the studios by NOT PAYING TO SEE THIS. Get a pirated dvd or download it or whatever but just make sure the studio does not get a penny out of you for this little piece of dogshit. It's just a crying shame.
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Just the Alien-Predator fights alone were worth the price of admission. The Silvestri Predator music and the Goldsmith/Horner Alien music was SORELY missed, but other than that, thumbs way up! Stop whining and go see it! What do you guys want? More movies about teenage girls finding out they're princesses? Support AVP, go see it!
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is how Harry and Mori always want to hold out hope for PWSA making a good movie... one day... before Hell freezes over. And they always get a little psyched before the release of his latest disaster, thinking that maybe this time Anderson won't have blown it. It's like watching Tranformers: The Movie for the 7th time, and thinking, maybe this time, just maybe, Megatron won't get the drop on Prime with that inexplicably lethal little blaster (Christ, he could get hit with Megatron's cannon in the series and survive... stupid need to make way for a new toy line). Maybe in some alternate universe where you can buy Kung-Fu on DVD starring Bruce Lee, and Wicket the Ewok is barely glimpsed on Endor before he's crushed by a passing AT-ST... maybe there Anderson is making some kick-ass movies.
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Jill, yuo are teh undisputed mastar of unlocking! Pleez, take ma lockpik because yuo, teh mastar, obviously does not hav won.
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No, wait. The guy doing TF is the one who did that shitty League of Extrodinary ASS.
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Aug 13, 2004 1:57:44 PM CDT
Harry, how much were you paid to give this movie such high marks
by cherrycola
I would guess ten grand. What do my fellow talkbackers say?
Oh, check out www.rottentomatoes.com for the real downlow on how much this movie sucks donkey bars. -
Aug 13, 2004 2:58:48 PM CDT
Anderson did a much better job in Magnolia and Boogie Nights.
by darthcorleone
Sorry -- it just occurred to me that it's been a while since someone actually mixed up the Paul Andersons.
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A friend of mine who just saw AVP asked me that about the geek community who are generally not in love with this film, he said "Get over it. Its just a movie and be happy it was made. What is wrong with gratitude?" --------- ---------------- ---------- -------- Here's what I have a problem with, it's a growingly-common attitude among certain "geeks" whom I suspect are trying to excuse a weak film because it's a beloved franchise, the "it may not have been great but it's a good popcorn flick in its own right". The Phantom Menace is a film where if it weren't a franchise with a built-in audience, the film would have bombed (if it could even have been made at all) and everybody would have shrugged and said "eh" afterwards, "it's good but nothing I really enjoyed that much", they'd come out of the theaters feeling that they've just witnessed sound and fury that signified nothing.
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Event Horizon and Mortal Kombat. They were both bad. REALLY bad. I keep seeing people on here say Event horizon was good. It wasn't I laughed from start to finish it was so bad.
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thanks for not defending us genre fans you fucking fat ass
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That fact that you sell your soul to these idiots by accepting kickbacks is not news. I don't fault ya, you need to get as much food as possible to feed into your fat ass.
What surprises me is that you've hit an all time low with this review and what i've stated makes it painfully true.
It's bullshit reviews like these that champion over having anything critical to say about mediocre movies like AVP.
I smell bullshit, you fat motherfucker. -
Totally disagree with your "it's only a movie" argument. I'm sorry, that's not good enough. Just because you buy into a narrative universe whose initial axioms are X, Y and Z (these axioms differing from our everyday world) doesn't mean that "anything goes". I mean, would you have accepted it if in "Superman" Lois Lane had been able to detach her head and fly it around at high speed, bowling villains over? No. You would have thought it was a crock of shit, and rightly so. Or what if in the middle of the movie, Superman guessed the security combination number to Lex Luthor's base from sheer good luck? A character having unbelievable luck is fine as the premise of a film; it's usually deeply unsatisfying in the middle of it. Similarly, we expect certain rules of logic and consistency to be present in all satisfying film plots. If we feel a director is changing the rules just to make their story work, it's natural to view this in a negative light. (This is why most smart people realise that T2 is a bunch of crap for changing the rules of time travel from the first film.)
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Come on, dude, Robocop 2 was a bunch of wank. The "franchise" had already been screwed up by the time 3 came along.
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To all those Alien 3 haters. Have you seen the extended cut from the Alien Quadrilogy set? I must admit that when I first saw Alien 3 I was very let down. After seeing the extended cut, I see this fill in a whole new light. I rather like it now and over time, it has grown on me. Some of the FX are still pretty bad, but others look rather coo. As for AVP, I will see it with my free ticket (in the Special Edition Predator DVD) and see it for free.
And as for Paul W.S.: Mortal Kombat - entertaining. Event Horizon - good premise wasted in a boring film. Soldier - Same as Event. Resident Evil. Not bad but not good either. -
I just couldn't stop looking at your big lucious fat ass...better than Viagra while Jenna Jameson spreads them on my face...CHEERS Amigo!
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Now THAT would have kicked major pornographic ass. IMAGINE THOSE TWO MOFOS BLOWING SHIT UP AND ARMED TO THE TEETH LIKE FUCKING TANKS. Shit! I'd still watch it if they make it. Stallone looks great for his age. The man is ripped at 58 yrs old and looks tough. Arnie would have to come back to Hollywood and hit the gym because since he's the Governator now, I very much doubt he has the time to work out. Nevertheless, THESE TWO ICONS MUST FACE EACH OTHER OR TAG TEAM TO FUCK SHIT UP...FFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK YEAH!...CHEERS Amigos!
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Did Harry even write this review? I was waiting for him to compare either the Predators or Aliens to George Bush and the Republicans and bemoan the deaths of all the those innocent Democrats, errr I mean humans.
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Harry didn't praise this film so get off his back. The Predator film is really pretty bad. Sorry, it is. It has some great action and a "cool" quotient, but overall, it isn't a good film. The first two "Alien" films were fantastic cinema. Studios sell us crap because they can. They a horrible script slip by because they know it is cheaper and easier to do so. If this is craptastic as it seems, and it loses money, they may figure it out. If it makes money, probably not.
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Yeah, I know I've been claiming this about a lot of films lately, but it has to be said. Here are the ways it is better than 21st century cinema: 1) Unapologetic violence 2) Evil child villain who actually seems evil 3) Chicks who want to screw 2nd generation Robocops 4) More unapologetic violence 5) the first ten minutes have more pertinent social commentary than Michael Moore's entire oeuvre 6) Violence solves all major problems. Come on! Not liking Robocop 2 is like not liking Demolition Man. And did you notice that the ONE big-ass robot with machine guns in Robocop 2 is about 1000 times more interesting, compelling, and intimidating than the entire Zion Army in the Matrix Shitquels?
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I don't seem to be able to see Harry's animations running at all, just a boring old still. Is this a bad thing?
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my favorite part was when the archeologist couldn't recognize whale bones.....but he could read hyroglyphics like he was reading the back of a cereal box.
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he could also predict the future. What a great script!
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Ok geeks, here it comes. This is the best movie so far this summer. There, I said it. And why can I say it? Because I've seen all the major releases. Everything from Spider-Man 2 to Harold & Kumar. So allow me to defend Paul WS Anderson who, yes, I am a fan of. THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!!!!! His movies are visually stylish and very atmospheric. And when doing adaptations such as this, he's loyal to the source material. Here he is loyal to both franchises. Now you geeks complain about story and character. Well there is story actually, and a good one. Characters, they may be stock, but what do you go to a movie like this for? YOU GO TO SEE THE ALIENS AND PREDATORS THROW DOWN!!! And you get it in spades. The fights are great, the effects are great, the movie is fast paced and exciting, with touches of tension thrown in. Now I know all you geeks just can't wait to rip into me for liking the movie. But of course, most of you wont even bother to see the movie before saying how shitty it is. You geeks just come here to channel your self-hatred into negative opinions of things you know nothing about. Why? So you can feel good about yourselves. I'll bet most of you have NEVER even kissed a girl. (that's not related to you) You sit in front of your computers because it's your whole world. And this is the only place people pay any attenton to you. Now for myself, I have a girlfriend. Perhaps I should break that word down so you know what it means. Girl=a female human being. Friend=someone who enjoys your company. Girlfriend=somethingyou geeks probably will never have. I have experienced a world most of you will never know. A world of human interaction. So just sit here and talk trash about things you don't understand. Paul Anderson will keep making movies (and money) while you idiots spout off about how you could do better. Well not from your parents basement you won't. I will keep seeing the movies, and having valid opinions because I'VE ACTUALLY SEEN THE MOVIES!!!!!! And because I have, I can say this....Lord of the Rings SUCKS!!!!! ALL THREE OF THEM!!!!!! OVERWRITTEN, HORRIBLY ACTED, POORLY PACED, PRETENTIOUS, AND BOOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIINNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! Peter Jackson's one and only good movie is The Frighteners. SO take that geeks. I spit on your Holy Grail. I know I didn't review the movie, but why bother? You goddamn, inbred, self-abusing, waste of semen will never see it anyway. Your loss. SO if you have anything to say to me, SAY IT TO ME!!!! Don't slam me here. Say it to my face! Bring it on bitches! I'll shred every last one of you.
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pot does harry smoke? his review is fine, but really, I have to know: Is he stoned, or WHAT?!?
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You glorious asshole...that is some funny shit you wrote. I knew there was a reason I came to this liberal cess pool of a site.
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Man, I am nowhere near to the level where I can write a 4 page description on ANY movie, let alone something that has gotten some of the worst reviews I have ever read. If you go to Yahoo.com and read the user reviews of this movie, you are in for a very entertaining time.
Basically Harry is sucking the teat of AVP, I have read countless terrible reviews ON THIS SITE of much better movies than this. Have I seen it? no I have not. Usually I am not the kind of person that listens to what others have to say about movies, but I believe that Gigli got better reviews than this.
My thinking is Alien; Aliens & Predator are incredible films. I would rather spend my time re-watching these classics, than to entertain some Hollywood hack, and watch as he basically ruins anything that made those movies great.
There is not one comment that Harry made that would make me believe that I should give this film a chance. I have read countless reviews about -
I'm just having a hard time getting over the PG-13. It would be one thig if the films that preceeded were of the same stripe, but going to a PG-13 after not one or two but six films had a hard R is a silly as , well...I gotta go back to Robocop 3. I understand the fiscal reasons for this, but I'll be damned if I get why it was such an important thing to pull back on this film, which in my mind demanded an R rating. I mean, you can't put the catsup back in the bottle, can you. Tell me I'm wrong.
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Rating = 5/10
____PLOT:
An underground pyramid has been discovered in Antartica and a team of no-name actors pretending to be characters that nobody cares about, head down to see what all the fuss is about. What they quickly find out is that they are in the middle of a sparring match between aliens and predators, two awesome killers from other, better movies. The battle between the extra-terrestrials begins as the humans take cover...and get slaughtered.-----
CRITIQUE:
First of all, a big "booooooooo" to Fox studios for hiding this film from the press before its opening. We're very rarely not given the chance to review a movie before it opens and it's usually because the studio believes the film to be a monster size crap-- so thanks for lowering that bar. That said, this highly anticipated movie didn't turn out to be as great as I hoped it might, but also didn't turn out to be as bad as it could have either. It's basically a "blah" entry into the ALIEN and PREDATOR franchise list, most likely due to the studio's decision to rate it PG-13 and to clip from it, everything that would make an ALIEN and PREDATOR movie an ALIEN and PREDATOR movie, so that more 13-year olds can go watch a lot of people getting killed...well, watch a lot of people about to get killed, and then see the camera pan away. Another example of this is when a character in the film pays homage to Arnie's classic line from the original PREDATOR, but instead of completing their thought, says only: "You're one ugly motherf---" before being cut off. I guess they figure teenagers have never heard the word "motherfucker" before. Friggin' MPAA. The one really great thing about this flick is (and thank God for that!) the actual aliens and predators. These friggin' beasts rule! Why the film spends about an hour or so building up to them, and then only half and hour with them, is beyond my meek comprehension, but when we do get to see the aliens scrap it out with the predators, it's a barrel of sci-fi fun!----
If only we didn't have to sit through moronic dialogue pieces about the "Hunter's moon", listen to a character we don't care about go on about his sons (we get it...you're a dad...I give a shit!) and sit through, what seemed like, endless shots of the predators looking into their electronic gadget suit's tracking of "The Hive"...oops, I mean the underground pyramid. I've never been one to bash director Paul W.S. Anderson, but I found that a lot of this film reminded me of his previous directing gig, RESIDENT EVIL, only with a lesser hottie as the lead, lesser slick kills and lesser overall action. Of course, no one in their right mind should be going to see a movie entitled ALIEN VS PREDATOR for character development, so why spend so much time on them anyway? I recently watched the original PREDATOR on DVD (it still comes through) and within the film's first 10 minutes, they were all locked, stocked and in the jungle, ready to kick mighty ass. This movie rambled on for too long, spent way too much time in the dark and started off with an action sequence that barely showed any of the action (there's quick cuts and then there's cutting a scene to the point of not being able to identify anything in it) Thankfully, some of the film's later fight sequences kicked ass, particularly the big one between the two beasts (although I had already seen it on the Net) and the final confrontation. I also really liked the final shot of the movie, the quick flashback background given to the predators/aliens' arrival on earth, as well as the lead character's trajectory nearing the end of the film (didn't see that coming) Lance Henricksen also provided a nice anchor to the story, the special effects were solid and not overdone and I loved the new predatorial weapons (but alas, they weren't used as much as they could have been)-----
That said, there were very few of the "kills" that I remember because the camera cut away before we saw anything, nothing about the movie was scary or suspenseful and the lead actress had none of the charm, strength or bite required for such a role. Sigh. Catch it on video so that you can fast-forward to the good parts and call it a life. -
I believe the reason for the 'pred-alien', (which appeared in the games and might have in the comics too, by the way, so it's not actually a new creation)stems from the idea in the comics or the books, where the Alien itself, or more to the point, the facehugger, only carries half a strand of DNA in the alien egg it carries inside it. When the egg is injected into someone, it samples their DNA and mixes it with the aliens. Hence why in Alien and Aliens we had humanoid, whereas in Alien 3, we had a slick looking dog alien rather than a carapaced humanoid. In the comics, the face huggers, specifically in ALIENS : COLONIAL MARINES, get into the wildlife of a far off planet, and animals that resemble sharks, elephants, gorillas etc etc, are impregnated and then 'give birth' to some wierd ass alien hybrids, the best of which was the shark-alien, imagine a great white with carapace armour, many teeth, a giant alien queen head and swimming in the ocean...
So basically, as ridiculous as the bit may be in the movie, Paul 'I cant be original for the life of me' WS 'Will someone just for gods sake ban me from Hollywood' Anderson, did not come up with the Pred-alien idea.
Hell its in the AVP2 game for gods sake as well... you get to PLAY as one. -
Oh and by the way, before anyone says it, I know the Aliens in Resurrection were the dog alien type, or looked like it anyhow, but I remember reading that they knew they werent the right type, but thought they looked 'cooler' than the normal one so they used those... it's always annoyed me about that movie... but then, so does the ship crashing at the end and wiping out half of Africa just to save 4 people... wonderful movie that one... FOR ME TO POOP ON to quote Triumph the comedy insult dog.
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played with the knife like a punk.
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Wow this is a complete 360 for me. Harry has been spewing hatred for this movie long before it came out, and now that its out he "kinda" liked it?? Honestly it kinda sucked!! The opening could have been shorter, getting them to the pyramid, the fight scenes were too damn fast and the suspense? WHAT SUSPENSE!? Honestly this whole film could have been done better had the whole premise been based with the predators HUNTING about this funky pyramid that changes every 10 minutes. I mean a film COMPLETELY based around the pyramid. The whole right of passage thing that takes place every hundred years? UGH!!!! You guys ever play lazer tag? This pyramid could have been a place where Preds can go get there "hunt on". But instead this film was mad weak. I could go on and on about how predators could have been smarter than the ones in this film, or how the human characters were waaaay two dimensional, or even how this film was a complete waste of an hour change.... wait I just did. Now excuse me while go take shower and wash the filth of this film away.
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I was very surprised at how entertaining this movie was. I originally had reservations about the story being set on present day earth (for continuity reasons), but it does work quite well and doesn't screw up any of the established continuity in either series. In fact, there are quite a few nods to the original series, and I especially liked one of the earlier scenes featuring Weyland/Bishop. Look for a little tip of the hat to the famous knife scene in Aliens. It will also NOT disappoint fans of the comic book series as it does borrow the best elements from it. The characters were all very likeable with not a bad egg in the bunch (as usually seems to be the case with these movies). The backstory of the Alien/Predator connection echoes Chariot of the Gods and leaves you with many questions which will hopefully be answered in the inevitable sequel. The special effects were terrific with a nice blend of CGI and traditional make-up, etc. Writer/Director Paul WS Anderson is obviously a HUGE fan of both franchises and I welcome his addition to the series. This is a great summer action flick and the packed audience I was with seemed to think so as well (it is averaging a 8.7 out of 10 at cinemamontreal.com with many reviewers giving it a 9 or 10). This movie definitely surpasses all my expectations (which, to be quite honest, were not all that high to begin with). That being said, I have to say that I highly recommended seeing it for pure escapist fun!
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I call your bluff, sir. No self respecting girl would ever sleep with a die hard Paul Anderson fan.
Let's hope the utter bombing spectacular of AvP will ensure this hack never gets behind a camera again.
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Jesus, this isn't even a review site anymore, just papal endorsements from the pope of the celluloid recliner, Cardinal of nachos and all-round illiterate. No more for me, see ya.
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Aug 14, 2004 3:19:21 AM CDT
Saw it, and ENJOYED IT! Most of you here shyt for hate's sake. H
by the founder
FOX withheld this movie from press screening, because of fear of bad press. I'm sorry call me what you want, but this movie was far from being garbage. it was entertianing. Sure I had a few gripes, but it turned out good. Harry and many others that come here bashed this film before seeing, and something tells me more were dissappointed that it wasn't a train wreck, and is angry that they enjoyed it.N ow they will never admit it, because it will make them look like the pathetic @sshole they are for contributing to the negative feedback. FOX HAS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF ABOUT THGIS FILM. I'm pissed becuase of all the hateful and bad flack this film got, when it truly didn't deserve it. There are far worse films that made money and didn't deserve all because of hype and slick marketing. SW Episode 1 is an incrediable example of just this. That film was not good and AvP has it beat by a mile\, but all you pathetic SW junkie geeks swore to christ almightly that it was pure gold! Episode 2 was a step above Episode 1, but not by much, AvP is better then that 2. I agree with harry, this is Anderson's best film, but i also notice that he didn't write it by himself, so that may be the reason why it didn't suck. I enjoyed AvP, and will be seeing it agin.
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Aug 14, 2004 3:50:10 AM CDT
I could have made a better AVP movie and I don't even know how t
by spectrebeeyatch
How did he screw this up so badly huh? Can anybody tell me? Just two hours of decent characters and battles but instead we get this. I hope Princess Diaries 2 rapes this movie in the box office so Fox can feel the pain and make them realize Cameron should have made this movie six years ago. Oh yeah and people defending this movie, unless your doing just to be cool or some crap, but if you actually thought it was a lot of fun, your the reason movies suck so bad now a days, THANKS A LOT!!!
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What if it's the same guy that directed MAGNOLIA and BOOGIE NIGHTS? What if he takes a break from brilliance every now and then? I find that interesting.
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I swear to God I was about to come on here and type up a review titled "Worst Movie... Ever" and lo and behold, my job has already been done for me. Just a couple of things concerning which I must get my bitch on: first, they all seem remarkably unperturbed by the giant fucking hole drilled down to the pyramid that wasn't there the day before, and obviously came from a GIANT FUCKING LASER IN THE SKY! The reaction seems to be something along the lines of "gee, that's weird. Hey drill team guy, is there any technology that we know of that can do this? No? Huh, weird. Well, let's go!" This motif is repeated throughout the film. Apart from the World's Top Experts In Everything acting like idiots, there's the dialogue. Oh god, the dialogue. Woman: "I've never seen a moon so big." Man: "In Italian we call it the blabbity blabbity blah blah." Woman: "What does that mean?" Man: "The hunter's moon." Woman and Man: "Ha ha ha ha!" That isn't the worst of it by far. Good thing the archeologist is fluent in Cambodio-Aztecian-Egyptoid symbols, so he could fill us in on the truth of ancient human history. It reminded me of the robot on Aqua Team Hunger Force that always begins in a booming and ominous voice "THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO..." and proceeds to say something inane. And why was one Predator badass, and two total pussies? Haven't they been training their whole lives for this shit? Christ, whatever, it was just a terrible terrible terrible movie, and let's leave it at that. Terrible.
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Aug 14, 2004 10:27:16 AM CDT
I do admit, that CG alien queen was a pretty impresive piece of
by terry_1978
Though they obviously had her scenes in darkness so as to drown out any imperfections. Pretty good CGI work for such a so so movie, though.
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PWSA should return to his roots and do a sequel to his masterpiece.
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Aug 14, 2004 11:23:06 AM CDT
I see that Fox got rid of the "Whoever wins, we lose" tagline.
by frankdrebin
Now it's "Who will you vote for" like it's American Idol or something.
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Need help in coming up with reasons not to see this. Don't get me wrong and call me a glutton for punishment, but I've dug *all* of Anderson's films. MK got everything right, despite muppet Goro and a gaijin Raiden. EH was a cool chiller. Soldier was popcorn fun (intentionally never read the script) and RE as well. Despite this, I know AvP will be ass on the sole facts that two gore heavy, suspense laden, R-rated properties should never have been translated into PG-13 wrestlemania. It's telling that the $30k Dead-End looked far superior to this multi-million dollar enterprise. I've already answered my own question, yet still interested in the reasons fellow TB'ers would come up with to discourage a fanboy teen and prodding wife.
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I personally don't understand all the vitriol over this movie. I caught this flick at a private screening with a pal, Steve Sansweet, and we loved it. Sansweet's only complaint was that there wasn't already a Bishop-Weyland action figure he could take in the bathtub. I loved the "Matrix" bullet-time facehugger shots and the Frankenalien. Those were the best cinema homages I've seen since Stephen Sommers had Frankenstein do the "Spiderman" swing in Van Helsing. My only complaint was that they didn't bring back Dan Hedeya (General Perez) from "Alien 4". He injected a welcome dose in a humor in an otherwise dreary series of films. And he was drop dead funny as the dad in "Clueless". Sansweet missed Hedaya too, as "Swimfan" is one of his all time favs. Anyway, I loved the fact that Paul Anderson did away with that stupid "acid for blood" thing so the girl could use a freshly ripped off Alien head as a shield and not get burned. That would have slowed down the movie and probably killed her. There needed to be more scenes of people sliding down that tube, but maybe in the DVD director's cut. All in all, Sansweet and me loved it and can't wait for Episode 3.
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Haha, Mister WS Anderson owns your asses :P
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Now that would rock.
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I saw this movie twice already. I think its safe to say I thnk it was a decent flick. It did have a few things I could nitpick but There not that big of deal. I could have had a little more P v A but alas. The point that Harry makes about the size of the aliens and some of the talkbackers points of the predators being midgets are so far off base you wonder if they even saw the movie at all.
I even saw someone explain in one of these talkbackes about how the opening of the movie was saying it starts off in some african area or something like that and theres killing and you think that its a predator but its a alien then it goes to the title and all that shit. This goes to prove that half the people who post here dont even bother to see the movies they bitch about. They think its cool to join some of the mindless lemmings who post here saying that paul anderson should die and stupid shit like that. If you saw the movie and didnt like it because thats what you yourself decided then I have no problem with that.
Think for your self people. Everyone in my two theaters seemed to like it as well as my buddy and my wife. I WILL be buying the dvd. All I can say is I hope that theres a R rating one coming out soon because that was one of the small problems I had with it. -
C'mon people, this was a good summer flick! And please don't rip it til you see it!
CG was nice, much better than that piece of crap Van Helsing. The Aliens and Predators were well done and true to character. And when you think about these 'prestige' franchises, there's only been three greats between the two, the first two Aliens and the first Predator, otherwise a whole load of crap.
Anyway, this movie was lots of fun, and the chestbuster at the end was a great tilt of the hat to the comics.
The blood will come whith the DVD, so everyone upset by the injustice of PG13 can enjoy it then.
Besides, if you really want to rip on a movie destroying a franchise Catwoman's in theater 2. -
I just saw "Alien vs Hack Director". Goodbye eighty six minutes, I hardly knew ya. Is it just me, or did the Predator after he took off his mask look retarded? Not retarded stupid, but literally retarded.
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I hate to admit it, but seeinf Freddy vs. Jason did make me thing that vs. movies could work... that movie, took elements from Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm street and successfully put them into Freddy vs Jason... AVP did not...
I think it took away from both movies and had to put to much new stuff into it... the action scenes were good sometimes, but most of the times it was too close up to tell what was going on... I didn't care about the humans one way or the other... and the face of the Predator at the end looked funny... and I also didn't like how they took away the mystery of Predators that was brought up in Predator 2, with the Alien skull and how long Predators had been on Earth...
Final thought, and most people would think this is stupid, I want to see the Rock vs. Predator... that would be better than the time Busta Rhymes fought Mike myers... but come to think of it, I never saw that one... -
I thought the guy at the end of Alien 3 was the guy who made the Bishop androids... but this guy in AVP did... someone help me out here...
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There is no better advertising than word-of-mouth, and it appears that the majority of the audiences that have seen AVP are spreading the word. Sure, there are some people who you can never please, but, thankfully, in this case, they are in the minority. Congrats to Paul WS Anderson for proving the naysayers wrong. I'm going to go see it again tonight, and will definitely be clearing a space for the DVD on my shelf. Eat crow, fanboys! lol
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Because, you know, Predators are aliens, too... oh, forget it.
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I didn't pay for it so I went to find out what everyone was complaining about. Unfortunately the bitching was only further validated.
First what worked (only adequately):
- Alien creature design was top notch. Nothing cc. visuals of the Aliens themselves was unbelieveable (the Alien Queen was a different story, however).
- Lance Henriksen: when I heard that LH would appear as Weyland in modern times I groaned and rolled my eyes thinking: "Great! The Alien/Predator franchises are going the way of Star Trek! Fantastic!" but the sad truth is that there is not a one actor in this movie more charismatic than Lance. NOT A ONE!
- Predator ship and weapon designs. Although the wrist blades were freakin' huge and somewhat cartoony, it worked for me on a visceral level. The Predators looked like friggin Samurai with these things! The spinning disc was also waaaaaay bad ass, though the idea is hardly original (lifted straight outta the AvP series of video-games).
- The scene where the Predators make their entrance and mop up the base camp.
- All of the Predator vs. Alien fight scenes (albiet waaaay too choppy)
Okay and what sadly did not work (Where do I begin?):
- Um, the first 45-50 minutes of the movie. Horrible stereotypical characters w/ little or no meat are the protagonists of these scene. With the exception of the always great Lance Henriksen and the female lead (whatshername) the actors border from the boring to the outright annoying.
- The bullshit-o-meter simply must be switched off to buy into the whole concept of this movie. The whole pyramid of many cultures under the Antarctic ice idea sucked from the get go. I know that it wasn't Andersucks's idea originally (does he have any?) but why lift a stupid idea from someone else? It was done strictly to cut costs I'm sure. The pyramid sets are dark and lifeless and reused scene to scene thanks to the incredible Rubik's pyramid that they stumble into (ripoff of The Cube). Also the mythology Anderson created of of Predators, Aliens and ancient Earth cultures really blows chunks. To me, establishing a series of iconic movies named Alien about unstoppable monsters from deep space and then saying that they were here on Eath being bred by the Predators all along diminishes/destroys the established mythology. This idea reeks like last week's filthy diapers!
- The Predators look awful! The guy-in-a-ruuber-suit vibe is veeeeeery prevalent throughout this movie. How could they get so wrong what fifteen years ago they got so right?
- Why are the first two Predators so completely inept? They are both taken down by a single xenomorph? What a fucking embarassment! More Paul Anderspunk quick death style editing!
- The shitty way that the Italian explorer type could translate everything and spout inane expository dialougue so effortlessly. However, it was an effort to stay awake whilst listening to it. I couldn't wait for this fuck stick to die painfully! Of course, they kept him alive long enough to "explain" everything to our heroic female lead.
- Standard-issue heroic female lead: Enough of the uber-tough female leads in this series already! I think Sigourney Weaver already nailed that idea perfectly. This chick can't even hold a candle to her. Most every scene with her was hammy, boring, and lifeless. Once everyone is dead and she's all that's left the movie drags. The scene between her and the "hero" Predator is borderline Mad TV-esque comedy.
- That whole xenomorph shield and spear idea is really fucking lame Paul Anderhack! I am surprised that the NAACP didn't come out to object to the black female lead holding the alien-pinkie spear. After the Predator "crafted" these things for her and immediately gave them to her, how come the acid blood didn't melt her pretty little skin? It sure did fuck everyone else in the movie up though.
- The resolution at the ending is lame, lame beyond lame. We are supposed to believe that the Queen sinks to her death tangled in some chains? How is it that she is able to spit enough acid to free her self in the first place then? A rushed and lame final act.
- The xenomorph life cycle sped up outragously. They go from face-huggers- to chest-burtsers to full grown Aliens in less than 20 mins! Nice one Andersuck!
- NO FUCKING GORE!!! Unless you count glowing yellow Predator blood gore. Every potential gratuitous scene was ruined by a quick cut away. No fucking complete chestbursts! Even some of the action scenes between the Alien and Predators are so spliced that it becomes unwatchable. The bullet-time facehugger scene is an especially and overused shot in the industry. These franchises were founded by gorehounds. The old school fans (like myself) are bloodthirsty animals who yearn for scenes of gratuitous violence in these movies. FUCK YOU FOX for watering this shit down for the masses! You are marketing this stuff to the kiddies now and it shows!
- The lamest and most predictable ending they could have come up with. Listen, QUIT FUCKING W/ THE ALIEN DESIGN. It is one of the most perfect creature designs EVER. That Predator/Alien chestburster sucked the biggest, hairy donkey nuts imaginable.
Oh and the audience at the end of my screening was silent-- NEVER a good sign! I think they were stunned in disbelief at this trainwreck of a movie.
To conclude Paul W.S. (Wank Stain) Anderson will go down in history as the undisputed heavyweight champion of uber-hacks. He has dethroned Stephen Sommers. Something I never thought possible! But I have a feeling that like many other of Anderhack's movies it will make just enough back to warrant another one. We can only prey that Fox grows back some artistic integrity and go with a real director (James Cameron anyone?) next time. Probably not though, what do they care as long as they make their money riiiiiiight?
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Check out this unofficial artwork: http://www.geocities.com/stlfilmwire/inbredredneckalienabd.html
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.....I'm really not that familiar with Paul Anderson's work. Of all the previous films listed here, I think that "Mortal Kombat" is the only one that I've ever seen. I was so impressed by it that I can't even remember what it was about.
But I digress. The real reason I posted was to ask a question.....is Paul Anderson a Limey? I raise the question because it seems like most (if not all) of the talkbackers who are trying to defend him here are British.....FYI: words like Bloke, Mate, Shite, and Wanker tend to give you away.
This is Beau, LSOTN, signing off..... -
That's hardly Harry bending over and letting Fox have its way with him (although the thought of that is very arousing). If Harry was on the take, he'd have said that the first two Alien movies weren't fit to lick its glistening hairies. He'd have said something like "It's a worthy addition to the Alien and Predator franchises" or some other vague drivel. In case some of your just skipped to the end of the review, he mentions all the problems he had with the film, and they were plentiful. It seems that people just post here for the sake of posting something, and saying "Harry's letting Fox take him up the ass" will fit with pretty much every semi-positive review.
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...and he's also British.
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this was actually one of the very few movies that i have decided was absolutely terrible before even leaving the theater. Usually i'll say that a movie was, "ok" immediately after seeing it, and then realize later that it was actually pretty dumb. Not the case with this one. This was dumb from the very moment that the lead actress spoke her first line.
I do believe that her presence might have ruined this movie. Every single time she was in the movie, i was gritting my teeth. I almost couldn't take it. The moment at the end with the queen alien, where all the sounds and noise pause just for a second for her to give her little one-liner almost sent me straight into a coffin. Good GOD that was TERRIBLE and CHEESY beyond my own personal belief, and i do believe in a lot of cheesy stuff, ok?
The whole thing of the predator helping her out just because she **spoiler** held up a spear as an alien jumped on it **end spoiler** is just ludicrous. Shouldn't the predator be more impressed with those dudes that were shooting guns at him and actually showing that they are worth something in a fight? This was just retarded. And he hands her that spear and the alien head, and she goes stomping around like she's some badass predator warrior. TERRRRRRRIBLE. She didn't look like, act like, or come across at all like she could possibly go toe-to-toe with anybody, not even one of the men from her crew. Just ridiculous..
the whole movie was SUCK. "you ugly motherf-[whoops this is PG-13, better not say it] --STAB--"
BIG THUMB'S DOWN
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Aug 15, 2004 1:56:14 AM CDT
James Cameron's "ALIENS" was ... and is ... a rare MASTERPIECE i
by jdanielp
There aren't many sci-fi and/or fantasy movies I'd call true masterpieces ... but I feel Cameron really nailed it with "ALIENS", one of my favorite movies of all-time. -- And of all the movies that are considered to be in the "100 BEST" ... or widely considered masterful examples of filmmaking ... there are so few that would actually make my own personal list of favorites. Why? Because my favorite genres are sci-fi and fantasy ... the most ignored genres of masterpiece filmmaking. And that's why I'm here, ... in hopes of educating Hollywood. -- Some of my other favorites? "TOY STORY" and "TOY STORY 2" ... "EMPIRE STRIKES BACK" ... and dang, my pickings within these genres are already getting slim!! ...I suppose you would consider "RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK" as adventure AND fantasy ... so that would make my list of "favorite masterpieces". You see? Other genres start invading my list ... like "SEVEN" ... and "DANCES WITH WOLVES" ... and ... well, ... let's just stop there. -- So here's to my hopes of "SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW" being a BIG surprise addition to the best in the genre. It's the movie I'm more excited about than any other this year!!
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Aug 15, 2004 2:13:44 AM CDT
The big secret is: The Predators actually live in a 19th-century
by truthseekr1488
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Do any of you people know how hard it is to get a film made? Much less make a successful film? So far he has a made a few films. Successful or not they were finished. That in itself is an amazing accomplishment. Just the fact that they even made it to the big screen is incredible. I love this website. It's the homepage when I sign on. I, like so many others buy into the "Hooplah" of movies. It is fun! But what gives me an itch on my behind, is a film critic who doesn't know what it's like to make a hollywood film. It doesn't bother me that your opinion differs from mine. It's your god given right. But to act as if it's FACT is pretty presumptuous. I looked you up on IMDB. Not a whole lot on there in the Writer or Director section. Speak your opinion but try to remember its an opinion. And your opinion is no more fact then that of a man who is good looking enough to get any woman he wants, regardless of how much money he has.
Give redit where credit is due.
The first Mortal Kombat was pretty cool. :) -
Aug 15, 2004 2:22:32 AM CDT
HARRY! I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU! -- Any chance you'd conside
by jdanielp
I draw a bit. And I'd love to do it, just once. After all, ... this is my favorite web-site. And I think it would be a hoot. I'd just have to know the specs ... like what size to make the original art, how many drawings, an okay on the idea, etc... I was thinking something like what appears to be Batman, with his cape pulled up, then dropped to reveal your beard and proud belly. But then, ... something with those giant robots from "SKY CAPTAIN" would be cool. What say you? -- Heck, ... if you guys are going to give us "talkbackers" a column, ... you might as well give us your "animation corner", too. (heh,heh)
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Aug 15, 2004 2:25:39 AM CDT
This film simply cannot overcome the legacy of both franchises
by notchjohnson
In most cases, a film should be judged on its own merits, and not hypothetical or comparative measures. But for "Alien vs. Predator", this rule does not seem to apply, because the weaknesses we see in the film become are far more glaring than if this thriller had no connection to any previous franchise. Even "Alien Resurrection" looks like a masterpiece compared to this film. The bargain-basement, Ed Wood-quality sets of "AVP" are a comedown from even the cityscapes of "Predator 2". There was just no sense of connecting "AVP" to the other films. Want a good example, look to "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." Cuaron pulled off the trick of creating a new style and environment for the franchise, while still rooting it in familiar elements of earlier films. And I'm not a "comic geek", but yes, Anderson is a hack. There's no sense of style or substance in his direction. His style of directing a film reminds me of those black-and-white assembly manuals you get with office furniture. Page 1 - Put gray screws into Board B. Page 2 - Lock black screws into Board C Page 3 - Join Board B and Board C at the corner. Assembly-line directing, assembly-line scriptwriting and dialogue. If this guy made a movie about Moses, you would hear "Do as I request, or you will suffer the consequences" repeated 204 times and then the credits would roll. I watched "Under the Tuscan Sun" tonight, and that Italian hyeroglyphics reader was in it, and he was great in it.....but in "AVP", he was Captain Exposition. Everything he said was perfectly aligned to the story. My local bridge toll worker is the only person I know who talks in pure exposition....."Hi...three dollars...thank you." Pure exposition. I expect that at tool booths, I don't want it in movies anymore. I'm rambling, but there's no way any pre-AVP "fan" can watch it without feeling bad for the tarnish Anderson the hack has given to the monsters.
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Did you actually type the word "anyhoo"? I mean, who does that?
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Aug 15, 2004 9:30:56 AM CDT
This movie would've been much more interesting if it were about
by jiggamanspence
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Is an idiot. I can't even respect anyone who is a fan of Paul WS Anderson. This movie is trash. The acting sucks. The script sucks. The action is unremarkable. Thanks for nothing. I want my 88 minutes back. I'm going to sue that hack for wasting my time.
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I take your point that making a good film is challenging. But I would argue that making a bad film is pretty damned easy. Once the film was greenlit and PWSA got the tab to direct, how hard was it to roll out this glossy crap? Doing art well is difficult, doing art badly is simple. As for your question, "do any of you have any idea how hard it is to get a film made", I can think of alot of things much harder and more impressive than getting a film made. Developing a new anti-retroviral agent, for example. Pediatric cardiac surgery, as another example. Inspiring eighth graders to want to learn. Let's not get all gushy and overawed by the fact that someone has spliced together 120 minutes of celluloid for our amusement - I'm sure doing it well is challenging (and AVP is NOT an example of doing it well), but it's not hard enough, or important enough, to get that worked up about.
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I dunno, Harry, your selection of Martial Arts films is suspect. I really like some of your inclusions - Big Trouble in Little China is a great rip at American martial arts flicks and American views of white "heros" in non-white settings. But you included Karate Kid, TNMT, Big Brawl, and some other very suspect flicks, while leaving out some notable films that would have been much better instead. How can Once Upon a Time in China 2, Fist of Legend, The Tai Chi Master, and Swordsman have been left off? Or from Jackie Chan's incredible arsenal, to leave off Drunken Master 2, Police Story, and Police Story 2 is a crying shame. Maybe I missed them in perusing your list, and I know that there are more knowledgable martial arts fans than I who could add better titles than I have (did I not see Iron Monkey on the list?). By the way, AVP is currently scoring 13% on the Tomatometer, including a rousing 0% from the cream of the crop. This will go down as the stinker of the summer, as bad as other recent "vs" movies - Ecks vs. Sever, Freddie vs. Jason. Will Hollywood ever give up on the vs. storylines? Not as long as people keep flushing money into these toilets.
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I just couldn't believe Harry had left Iron Monkey off the list, so I went to recheck. Thank God, it was there. My bad, Harry, you do have some taste left.
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One hour into the movie I looked down at my watch realized we were almost done the movie and the action had barely started.
I was like "what the hell? are we just going to have the slug fest for the climax??"
I agree with Harry that we need more of the cunning nature of the two aliens. I felt we were watching a "human" movie. The movie wasn't bad, but if there's an extended version, don't add anything in the first hour... go right to the Predator(s) mapping out and racing about the maze USING IT!! I'd like to see what this HUNT was supposed to be like. I hate to say it, but ALIEN 3 handled the hunt in a neat manner and I felt unsatisfied with how this one was treated. If Paul can sit down and add a few more minutes into the hunt and show us the cunning nature of these aliens and give even grid face more screen time: GREAT. Good potential... but 90 minutes isn't a lot of time and giving us all the fun in just the last half hour... felt lacking.
Good job, Paul... just storyboard up an extended hunt and build up the personalities of the creatures we went there to see... you got the humans down, now give us the Aliens and Predators in their full cunning glory.
- Bubcus out -
Aug 15, 2004 1:25:00 PM CDT
On a totally unrelated subject, does anyone else think that Zack
by craiggers
I mean, look at Garden State. He wrote, directed, and stared in the movie and you see his face everywhere they advertise it. The expression on his face is like, "Look at me, I'm just so intensely arty." And the other half of the marketing campaign is pictures of him macking with Natalie Portman, as if to say, "Check me out. I wrote, directed, and starred in a movie where i get to mack with Natalie Portman. What are YOU doing?" I don't know, maybe I'm just jealous because I have a thing for Natalie Portman.
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I mean, spelling "Zack" with an H? What the fuck? And BRAFF is the sound Nightcrawler makes when he teleports in the X-Men comics, it's not a name! Ugh! Anyway, I'm done.
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So everyone that saw it, even though they knew it would suck, congratulations! You just insured that Paul and company keep cranking out crap and the studios piss all over the fans. Well done.
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This was a fun novelty film, but it definitely made very little sense. It would be honest for someone to claim that they simply dismiss its faults rather than claim that the faults weren't major... because the things that made the film fatuous were truly in excess. Sanaa Latham's work was one of the few reasons the film is watchable. Unfortunately, every other human character was written as a "jobber," and would've been better served if they all wore "red shirts" donated to them by Captain Kirk. This human crew wasn't written to be a terribly bright team (the type that--- in the real world--- sends robot rovers with cameras into mysterious tunnels that appear within 24 hours). In fact, most of the crew acted in a manner consistent with a group of maniacs trying to kill themselves. A missed opportunity that was also mentioned by another poster was that the aliens didn't impregnate any variety of mammals. This would've given Anderson's visual team more flexibility for creativity while further expanding an aspect of the mythology first established in Alien3. Of course, as we can only assume that the "mama" alien's food reserves from +1,000 years ago were somehow enough to keep the colony well-fed during this deathfight, I suppose the Aliens weren't doing too bad for themselves. Something that makes me wonder about this movie is that, while it's rare for a film's predictable "surprise" ending to *directly* contradict one of its earlier scenes, AVP does just that. In fact, this ending verified that, in these films, the Predators have become at least as dim-witted as the humans. Since the movie is coming from a filmmaker whose "Resident Evil" elevators lacked the basic safety features found in every other elevator built since 1970, I suppose these logical shortcomings shouldn't be surprising. However, the manner in which Egyptian and other ancient cultures were butchered made me wonder if the film was spawned from the art improvisation rather than scriptwriting. In short, this film is in the mold of Tim Burton's "POTA." It's both pretty.... and pretty stupid.
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Im glad he was honest about it.
My impressions: let me say that this was the
silliest and worst of all the Alien and Predator movies. Sure there are
some cool moments but the film is really badly plotted and edited. The
aliens are the Alien 4 type which is fine and the PRedator has been
enhanced to be this super soldier more so than it was before. The premise
of the movie is cool but the execution was bad. It seems the director also
wanted to pay homage to not only the prior series of these films but also
every other scifi fantasy flick in the last 10 to 15 years. Every other
scene just about will take you back to a specifc scene or mood or effect
from you name it: Alien, Aliens, A2, A4, The Matrix (OF COURSE), pitch
black, jurassic park, tomb raider and many other B movies. Sometimes this
works and other times not. Its not necessarily cheesy but it is copycat or
homage. For the lead character of course it becomes readily apparant that
we have a new Ripley in a black woman. Although my friend said she is also
like Danny Glover from P2 so theres the black part for you. The ending OF
COURSE leaves it open for AvP 2. God forbid!
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Aug 15, 2004 2:32:33 PM CDT
I'm suck an idiot. Why didn't I listen? Againt all judgment I...
by bourne greyelf
...Went to see this horrible movie last night...OMFG, you have to be a complete fucking idiot to make an alien/predator movie BORING! I mean, what was the point of 45 minutes of "character" development when EVERYONE dies except the main "character"? And WHY is the movie called AVP when theres hardly any "VS" action!!??? I mean, theres what, THREE fucking fights through out the whole fucking movie between the title characters!!! Not to mention, these are the shittiest fucking predators I've EVER seen! TWO of them DIE from the SAME fucking alien within what, five minutes of each other? Where was all the cool fucking weapons? These predators were the least stealthiest "hunters" i've ever seen. I don't give a fuck if they were fledglings, they SUCKED. I love how, the last predator gets made up to be a total badass, chopping the head off the sneaking alien, and then turns around and gets his face fucking hugged by a face hugger. couldn't he have the strength to pull it the fuck off? If hes fast enough to catch an alien bursting from someones chest, couldn't he have cought the face hugger too? Also, something I forgot to mention, how can an aliens tongue go through a predators helmet? Those things are like, bullet fucking proof! Should I go into the pg13 fucking rating? Should I go into how NON scary this movie is? how NON suspenceful it is? Bah, I feel ashamed and dirty for having contributed to this complete piece of shit! RETURN OF THE KING EXTENDED EDITION! WHERE ARE YOU! I NEED YOU NOW, MORE THEN EVER!!!!!!
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How about Robby the Robot Vs Lost in Space Robot? Mary-Kate Vs Ashley? Bionic Man Vs Bi-Centennial Man? Shirley Temple Vs Macauley Culkin? Jesus Vs Mohammed? Christopher Reeve Vs Stephen Hawkings?
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just thought i'd say that.
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Forgot a few - Jabba the Hutt Vs Harry Knowles! Seabiscuit Vs. Mr Ed! Juan Valdez Vs. Pablo Escobar! The Blob Vs The Stuff!
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There is an extra twenty-minute segment called 'The Hunt' on the DVD. Do you hear me Paul? You need to remember 'Mortal Combat' and have each Predator use a separate combination of weapons and hunting sytles, BUILDING UP the tension as the first two die under the heels of the Aliens, and then show how BADASS Predator Number Three is. Please, watch a few classic Hong Kong Kung Fu movies, and use this basic technique; it always work. P.S. You should have had Adelle and Stafford killed by Predator 1 and 2 respectively, while they were offing Aliens, but then missing that one tricky one that got away. The Hero Alien idea was actually a good one; he should have killed the first two Predators, but only after those two got a serious Alien-body-count.
Looking forward to the DVD. Work on it. -
Aug 15, 2004 4:10:40 PM CDT
Congratulations to the dumbasses who blew 8 bucks on this turd
by devil0509
You all just spent your (parents) hard earned money to see this junk, propelling it to nearly a $40 million weekend and absolutely guaranteeing that studios continue to spew out this kind of putrid emesis all over the screens. Remember kids, there's only so many production dollars out there, and every AVP that gets made is about four or five potentially good films that don't. Stop supporting this shit with the weak excuse of "I know it'll be lame, but I'll probably see it anyway."
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Just got the greenlight.
Supposedly the story takes place in the '70's as little Omen goes by bedroom where Exorcist is fighting. Then they fight. Lots of CG. Early '05. -
To broaden its appeal, 20th Century Fox brought the movie in at a PG-13 rating, though the previous four "Alien" films and two "Predator" flicks had hard R ratings for violence. "I don't think it's a cop-out at all," said Bruce Snyder, the studio's head of distribution. "This is based on a video game that did have a bit of a younger audience. There's a lot of action and violence, but most of it is creature to creature rather than creature to people." PROOF THAT THE RATING WASN'T BECAUSE ALIEN AND ALIENS WOULD HAVE GOTTEN PG-13 RATINGS NOW. IT'S FOR THE KIDDIES, SPELT OUT IN FRONT OF YOU! DIE ANDERSON DIE!
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Yes, we will also be subjected to more shitty Paul W(orth) S(hit) Anderson movies, but look on the bright side. This will suggest to 20th Century Fox that the franchises are not dead, and will open the door for the Scott-Cameron collaboration of Alien 5! Of course, we could still get shut on if Fox gives Alien 5 to Anderson, but Fox wouldn't do that. Would they? They wouldn't, right? SAY THEY WOULDN'T!
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This is the length of "AVP". I haven't seen the film yet, but it made me think: how many big-budget movies that were a piddling, miniscule 87 minutes long have I ever liked? Answer: none. 87 minutes? Please. This makes me think one of two things: a) the movie was poorly planned and overhyped from the beginning, or b) the movie sucked so badly they took 40 minutes out so the audience could leave earlier. Seriously, 87 minutes? This film should've been at least 120, maybe 130. I was going to see it tonight, but now I've decided to stay home.
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I just thought it might be important to mention to some of you that there are two directors named Paul Anderson.
Paul Thomas Anderson is actually a so-so director. He did Boogie Nights and Magnolia, among others.
Paul W.S. Anderson is the one that makes crap. Resident Evil....and so fourth. Thus it's best to remember Paul Thomas Anderson is a person aiming to perfect his craft/art. Paul W.S. Anderson is just W.orthless S.hit Anderson - (atleast as far as directors go.)
Thus that concludes today's lesson. -
It seems like everyone who posts on this site hates Paul W.S. Anderson and hates the idea of an "Alien Vs. Predator" movie. But, if we are to believe all the posts here, YOU ALL WENT AND SAW IT ANYWAY. I don't know what you all wanted from this movie. You knew going in that it was written by Anderson, so you can axe any hopes for good dialogue right off the bat. You knew it was rated PG-13, so you can forget any full-on shots of chestbursters, maimings, etc. And both of these things were cause for so many of you to proclaim that this movie was going to be one of the worst in history. BUT YOU WENT ANYWAY. I went. I got exactly what I expected. There were aliens. There were predators. They fought. The end. And that's fine. Did the first 30 minutes stink? Yes. Did I care about the characters? No. But who cares? Aliens fought predators, and when they did fight, it was cool. Is it the kind of cool that will make me see it again or buy the DVD? No. But my $6.75 was well-spent on seeing the Alien Queen make her bad-ass return on the big screen. Honestly, what did you possibly expect from a movie called "Alien Vs. Predator"?? Jesus Christ. Even the most ridiculous among you must admit it was better than "Alien Resurrection," right? Hell, it was better than "Predator 2." It was better than plenty of other movies that have come out this year (movies that you same people went to, knowing they would suck), movies like "Van Helsing" and "Chronicles of Riddick." And why all the hatred for Anderson? Anderson strikes me as the kind of guy who would be posting on this Web site if he weren't doing what all the flamers really want to do -- make big-budget science fiction movies. Anderson is like a fan-fic writer with movie-studio backing, and so what if he makes crappy movies? He keeps getting jobs because people keep going to see his movies and buying them on DVD. I'm sure many of the Anderson haters own one or two of his movies on DVD. I'm also sure that "Event Horizon" would probably be a revered film on this site if it were directed by anyone besides Anderson. That's a pretty damned scary flick, but it gets shamed because it happens to be by the guy who directed "Mortal Kombat" and "Resident Evil." This guy makes the kind of movies all of us on this site want to see, and we go see them. That's really the bottom line. Anderson will continue to win, because even his detractors are paying to see his movies. Oh well. That rant probably made little sense, but I just can't believe the vitriol thrown this guy's way. It's not like he makes socially irresponsible movies. He makes cheesy monster pics. Jesus.
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Didn't know this movie was rated XXX. But i'll see it anyway.
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"FYI: words like Bloke, Mate, Shite, and Wanker tend to give you away." Well, I think I speak for most of the "limeys" here when I say we're not really worried about our vernacular "giving us away" because we see no reason to hide the fact that we're English, you sanctimonious yankee gobshite. And yes, he is English, but I'm afraid it's you fuckers that keep letting him make movies.
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Aug 16, 2004 12:04:19 AM CDT
Judge for yourselves, you bunch of fucking followers! While I m
by fanboyjm
There are way too many neg. resonders here to have really been unbias.I have to agree w/ Harry on most of the things he had to say.I don't hate Paul W.S. Anderson & I didn't prejudge his work.I'm grateful to him to have fought for this project.Could this have been a better film? Sure,worse? Of course.Was it entertaining? One-Great-Big- YES!!! I've seen it twice & found flaws, nothing to justify the hatred that has been the norm. from this site.( timetable issues & the very last scene are my biggest bitches ) I judge 'em as "I SEE" them. 3 out of 5 stars!HOPEFULLY WE'LL SEE ANOTHER!
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I hope like hell that a director's cut (i.e. more violent) DVD is on the way. I'd be satisfied with that. Sorry, guys, but I actually liked this one.
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man what is all this shit about man I saw it today and man it was fun. cool fx, aliens,space ships, I really liked it if you wanna know what a really shitty movie looks like go rent starship troopers 2. now thats a piece of shit
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Easily the worst of both franchises. I'm glad I had my free ticket via the Predator DVD, because man I would have wanted my money back. I gave this movie a chance. I really really did. I sat there wanting to be entertained. If you consider laughing at it, then in that way maybe I was. And I wasn't the only one laughing at in the theatre either. Everyone walking out seemed to be very dissapointed, save for two 12 year olds who said, "That was okay." Ouch. The Predators looked awful and the maskless predator was horrible. It looked like a slip on mask. The look of the Aliens fared a little better. Lance aside (who, let's face it, will do anything if you pay him), the actors were high school play level. Particularly the lead female. From her first mountain climbing scene on, I didn't buy her for one second being a tough bad ass chick. Just more proof that all the net's PTA bashing is well earned.
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I said: "Just more proof that all the net's PTA bashing is well earned." I meant Paul WS Anderson. (However, some PTA bashing is well earned too, just not in this particular talkback.)
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I was in the theater the first day that "Alien" came out in '79; same goes for "Aliens" and "Predator." We all know nothing in the series could ever top those, so why rant and rave over the latest failure to do so. I got my money's worth---a good mindless action, popcorn, scifi flick. There have been two movies recently that I thought "What junk!" when they ended: "Stepford Wives" and "Dodgeball." This one I took for what it was--and I enjoyed it.
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Aug 16, 2004 4:18:19 AM CDT
"Harold and Kumar vs The Manchurian Predator in the Garden State
by truthseekr1488
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I went and saw this thing at a midnight show. I had a gut feeling that this would blow, but I went because how could you conceivably fuck up something this good?? They found a way...
I review films for my companies newsletter, and I have to say that this is going to be one of the all time worst that I will review, let alone worse films of all time that I have seen.
At least Jason X was funny bad...not retread, see about 15 different films being ripped off in the first 10 minutes bad.
Paul Anderson nearly destroyed my faith in cinema. Thank you you bastards. You single handedly neutered two of the coolest film creatures in the past 30 years and nailed the coffin shut on two of sci fi's only remaining decent franchises.
To dumb down this crap for kids is stupid. "Oh it's like the video games." In the damn video games you actually bite your fucking way out of a guys chest, through heart, muscle, and bone. That's some disturbing shit that is NOT for children.
I did not see but like one kid at the midnight showing that was nearly sold out. The rest were 20 and above like myself who grew up with these movies.
Say all you like about Van Helsing, but that was perfectly done for what it was supposed to be. An homage to the 30's films of Universal. It was perfectly played and I enjoyed it at least a 100 times more than I did this shit.
Harry should be ashamed for touting this smoldering pile of dog feces in any way. But what can you expect from a guy who hasn't watched a single episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel, but probably jerks off to Charmed or Gilmore Girls any chance he gets.
I'm sorry but anyone who liked this crap needs to be shot through the head with a nail gun.
It's the epitome of what is wrong with Hollywood now, and it made me physically sick.
And just for shits and giggles...They totally fucked with the timeline of the movies. I didn't even realize it was modern time until they flashed it on the screen...Christ almighty...AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!! -
And anyone else who defends this piece of steaming shit. I had a very little sliver of hope for this movie, and that sliver was shoved right up my ass 3/4 of the way in.
Does that mean I liked this movie up until then? No, I tolerated it.
Then the chick teams up with the Pred and this movie sunk into the realm of biggest waste of time ever.
Let's list the ways Paul Waste of Space Anderson has made a cinema placenta:
1. Chick gets respect from a Pred for killing an Alien. WTF.
2. She wears an Alien head as a shield and doesn't even get itchy let alone FUCKING BURNED.
3. Paul throws in a mangled "homage" to Arnold's classic line, only tolerable then because it was Arnold. Coming from our female "hero" sounds like Cindy Crawford's "I HATE STICK SHIFTS" line from her movie abomination.
4. Fucking horrible camera work, so even the fights are fucking lame, and chalk all that up to some clusterfuck's idea to make this a PG13 idea.
5. Stupid, horrible writing, lines delivered that created a vacuum like a bad joke at a party.
6. They outrun a fucking explosion that previously they had to ride a rocketsled traveling at 400 miles per hour to outrun, but now has slowed to running speed so they can outrun it "silhouette style".
7. An Alien Queen that is hit by miss 90 pounds and her little spear and reacts like she was just hit by a frigging mack truck.
8. An alien tail that grows to 50 feet for a "cool" scene where it impales a Pred, then in every subsequent scene the tails are normal length.
All this amounts to the main problem with this films, a fucking hack director, plot ideas that fucking stink, and core elements from either franchise thrown out the window at times when they couldn't write their way around a problem. Paul WS Anderson, if you are reading this, I hope you get Herpes Simplex C and have to live in fucking seclusion for this fucking choda pile of a movie. Fuck you, fuck the producers and fuck Hollywood and the "greenlight" monkeys that approve this shit. -
Aug 16, 2004 11:21:51 AM CDT
I was expecting the worse, but was happy because it really wasn'
by macstone
The only thing that I didn't like was the shot of the Predator and the chic running in slow-mo with the explosion behind them. It looked really cheesy and everyone in the theator laughed. It's cool that the Predator and the human teamed up in the end, but I can see how it must have been hard not to cross the line into cheesiness. The part with them going up the slide together also looked a bit silly to me. I don't have a problem with the queen having been bigger; I mean, who's to say that the Queen in Aliens was fully grown. Plus it was established that what was happening in that pyramid was going on every hundred years for thousands and thousands of years. So that queen was pretty old. I did have problem with the Alies busting and maturing so quickly though. Fans rely on continuity when it comes to these types of movies; Anderson should have stuck to that. When all is said and done though, I had fun. Not half as bad as some out here and on other sites are saying.
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Aug 16, 2004 2:34:33 PM CDT
I could have come up with a better premise in 5 seconds than thi
by thingsthattimdog
Just smash Alien 2 and Predator 1's plots together. Setting: A space colony in the future (Ripley's time). The hook: Predators fly over the planet and fire a small capsule towards the colony "seeding" it with aliens. Colonial Marines are called in to investigate when the colony stops responding (hmmm...familiar). Marines land to find colony fighting and losing to a swarm of aliens (familiar but slightly diffrent). Predators arrive and begin killing humans and aliens alike. Stir, shake, one marine is a super badass alien/predator killer. One successful movie no more derivative than anything else in Hollywood these days.
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Aug 16, 2004 3:52:05 PM CDT
JiggamanSpence, I already fought a Chihuahua mutt and a shark wh
by tequilaworm
Now pay me...CHEERS Amigo!
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While I heartily applaud your rip on hack directors and shitty movies that are greenlit with the express purpose of being shitty, I wanted to give you a little heads up on your choice of viruses with which to infect Paul W.S. Anderson. Herpes Simplex C is not, to my knowledge, a known viurs. The herpes viruses, by and large, while annoying, are not terribly dangerous to the immunocompetent. Given that Paul WS Anderson is playing hide-the-sausage with a model, he may be at increased risk for contracting HIV, but as far as we know his immune system is currently intact. Therefore, I would suggest any of a few other alternatives. First, the tried and true ebola virus, always good for a laugh. Sticking with viruses, airborne-acquired anthrax remains an ugly thing to contract. My favorite, though, is not a virus, but rather vibrio vulnificans, which can be contracted through skin abrasions via contact with water and can lead quickly to necrotizing skin infections and sepsis, requiring at the very least an extensive debridement, and associated with a high level of mortality. You may want to wish that one on him instead.
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That basically amounts to saying, "well, for a movie that sucks, it doesn't suck as bad as it could have sucked." Look, movies that are meant to entertain should be entertaining. Shockingly enough, things like an intelligent plot and characters that we care about actually make movies more interesting. Even movies with lots of explosions and stuff. So, "judging it on face value" doesn't mean we should accept stupid plots, gaping logical holes, and worthless throwaway characters, just because the movie wasn't intended to be any better than it is. Having said all this, I will proudly say that I have not and will not see this movie. Before the defenders of this movie (it shocks me to no end that people are actually defending this movie, but whatever) chime in with "how can you judge a movie if you haven't seen it", I'll just say that I don't need to inspect a turd for an hour and a half to know it's a turd. I can come to that conclusion by just looking at the brown object steaming in the grass.
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I mean come on. What were you expecting? Something that would actually stand up to untouchables like Alien, Aliens, and the origianl Predator? It may not be as good as those movies but it was a hell of a lot better than A3, A4, and P2. Sure Anderson had the Aliens bursting and maturing too fast, and yeah the Predator and the main character running in slow-mo at the end should never have made it into the flick, but it was still a pretty ok movie and could have been SO much worse than it was. Remember Superman 3 and 4? Or how about Batman 3 and 4? Rocky 5 anyone? Highlander 2? Poltergeist 2 and 3? Those are just some of the movies that truely have "raped your childhood" fanboys. Although AVP isn't perfect it certainly doesn't belong on the same list with them. Anyone who sees it as anything less than a B- is being far too critical of it and not seeing it for what it's intended; just a good popcorn eating, soda drinking good time. Now stop whining ya geeky fanboys!
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My Bro saw the flick and offered quite a few roll your eye moments in the film. 1) Abandoned town near aliens has been abadoned for some time but is not buried under ice (WWII planes that went down in arctic "during war", are now buried beneath 100' of ice) even though average ice coverage is about 5' year. 2) Saw Predator's adams apple on numerous occasions. 3) Baby alien - adult alien 1 day 4) goes on and on
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This movie is FICTION. If your brother sat there and nitpicked in his brain about things like ice accumulation then he wouldn't have had a good time anyway. Did he complain that there was no such thing as Aliens and Predators too?
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She sucked. She was not believable as a character from frame one of her mountain climbing seen. Maybe she's a good actress elswhere, or maybe Anderson sucks the souls out of people's performances, I dunno. But she was awful in this. Didn't buy here as the tough chick at all. She came across as simply trying to be tough.
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First of all I was never "All worked up" I read another review that reminded me of how useless critics (especially film critics) are. Second, I haven't even seen AVP,. Third AVP or any oher film like it is not something I would consider art. Look up the word in the dictionary. Fourth, making a good hollywood film is damned near impossible. Especially when you are dealing with bringing together two powerhouse franchises. I haven't seen Freddy Vs Jason so I can only imagine how much of a nightmare (Pardon the bad pun) that must have been to make. Paul WS Anderson is directing a film that I would bet a Billion dollars, was being directed by a few other people who stood to lose a lot more than him. Have you ever had a project that you were not the last say on? Good or Bad I would't look at this picture and judge anyones talents. Not Paul's, not Lance Henrickson's not anyones except those who had more to loose if it doesn't work out. Now think about this. I am not sure if you enjoyed Lost in Space, or Batman and Robin. Two huge franchises with investors who stood to loose big if those films were unsuccessful at the box offices. Well both of those "Films" were written by Akiva Goldsman. You might have heard of him. One of his films recently won a pretty difficult award to obtain. By the way. My post was Directed to mr Knowles. why did you seem to take offense?
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Just ignore him; he really has no right to his own oppinion; because, not having seen the movie he, he doesn't have all of the facts in front of him and therefore really shouldn't be out here talking. He's just trying to piss people off. Don't let him do it.
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devil0509 I was a bit hasty in my choice of viruses with which to infect PWSA with, I got all into my rant and Herpes just came to mind. You are right, some of your choices would indeed be much harsher punishment!
Now, on to the defenders of this pile of shit. The main point of defense is "It could have been worse" So what?
That's an excuse you use if you wade into war and come out having lost only an arm but not your life. THEN you can safely say that and be moderately happy about the situation. This fucking movie SUCKED. If you place this pile of aborted ideas above Alien 3 then you have no right being a fan of the franchise. You call this a popcorn flick? A popcorn flick is a movie where there is nothing invested in it, it's a throwaway time at the movies. This can't be considered that because it was coming from higher stock than that and ended up a piece of shit. This pile contained things that would have been barely acceptable in a bad 80's movie, which is funny considering this movie is just a rehash of everything that hack watched back then.
SO enjoy it all you want, keep on saying "It could have been worse" and run right out and buy it when it hits DVD. You are just paving the path for the fucking morons that are behind this to greenlight the next cluster fuck in the Aliens/Predator series, because you goons are saying "it's not that bad". -
I agree that most of these guys are being far too critical. I think what it chalks up to is that most of them are just kids and probably aren't half as familiar with the past movies as they claim. Most of them don't even know how to form an opinion of their own and went to see the movie with a pre-concieved notion of what it was going to be based soley on Harry's predictions. You're just not cool out here unless you're complaining that someone in the movie industry "raped your childhood". Boo fuckin hoo!
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Yeah, that's the fucking problem Macstone, we are not "familiar" enough with the previous films to form an opinion like "It wasn't that bad". Gee, what a fucking mind blowing statement. Alien and Aliens were probably wayy over your head in the fact that you were too dazzled by the effects or hidding behind the couch to understand that there was substance to the flash. (Hell Alien 3 had more substance in 10 minutes than AVP had at all)
AVP didn't "rape my childhood", and I didn't have ANY expectations going in. Fact remains is that it was a fucking steaming pile of shit.
I have always been a basher of those here who would hate just for the sake, or to be cool, but this fucking movie SUCKED. It being "not as bad as it could have been" does not a good movie make. And most of us are sick of shitty Alien movies.
So go suck Paul WS Andersons titty if you are fine with sub-par movies because you were "entertained", I also hear there is a huge Pauly Shore section at Blockbuster that can fill your needs.... -
Sorry of getting under your skin like that Nightarrows. What can I say I thought it was a good movie, you thought it was a bad one. All I mean when I say that "It's not that bad" is that I liked the movie, but yeah there are some things I would have done different. A)I wish the Aliens hadn't matured so quickly and B)I didn't need to see the chick and the Predator doing the slow-mo jog. Did those 2 things ruin it for me? No. Did A3 have more substance? . . . Yeah, probably; . . . but it also was long, drawn out, had waaay too much unneccesary dialog, was all-around visually unappealing, and just plain sucked. AVP didn't need more substance. The substance was established in the 6 prequals. (By the way, if you haven't seen them, A1, A2, and P1 are the best ones) AVP was exactly what it needed to be: some Alens and some Predators going at it with some humans caught in the middle. You want substance? Stay home and jerk off to your Paul Shore movies.
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You couldn't be more wrong. If you would hav taken a moment to read my post before commenting you would have realized that my coments were not in defense of a movie that i don't have any deisre to see. They were in defense of a filmmaker. Film critics like to assume the director always has COMPLETE Control. My intentions were to hopefully open your eyes.
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Sorry of getting under your skin like that Nightarrows. What can I say I thought it was a good movie, you thought it was a bad one. All I mean when I say that "It's not that bad" is that I liked the movie, but yeah there are some things I would have done different. A)I wish the Aliens hadn't matured so quickly and B)I didn't need to see the chick and the Predator doing the slow-mo jog. Did those 2 things ruin it for me? No. Did A3 have more substance? . . . Yeah, probably; . . . but it also was long, drawn out, had waaay too much unnecessary dialog, was all-around visually unappealing, and just plain sucked. AVP didn't need more substance. The substance was established in the 6 prequels. (By the way, if you haven't seen them, A1, A2, and P1 are the best ones) AVP was exactly what it needed to be: some Alens and some Predators going at it with some humans caught in the middle. You want substance? Stay home and jerk off to your Paul Shore movies.
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Sorry of getting under your skin like that Nightarrows. What can I say I thought it was a good movie, you thought it was a bad one. All I mean when I say that "It's not that bad" is that I liked the movie, but yeah there are some things I would have done different. A)I wish the Aliens hadn't matured so quickly and B)I didn't need to see the chick and the Predator doing the slow-mo jog. Did those 2 things ruin it for me? No. Did A3 have more substance? . . . Yeah, probably; . . . but it also was long, drawn out, had waaay too much unnecessary dialog, was all-around visually unappealing, and just plain sucked. AVP didn't need more substance. The substance was established in the 6 prequels. (By the way, if you haven't seen them, A1, A2, and P1 are the best ones) AVP was exactly what it needed to be: some Alens and some Predators going at it with some humans caught in the middle. You want substance? Stay home and jerk off to your Paul Shore movies.
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Please, Harry, stop! You are killing me! "Imagine what a great filmmaker could have done with Paul W.S. Anderson's screenplay." Too bad Kubrick is dead, I think he would have jumped at this! Yes, nothing appeals to top filmmakers like an "Alien Vs. Predator" script. Imagine the prestige! Who, I ask you, Who? would not want this film on their resume? Despite Harry's absurd review, I did really enjoy this movie in all its cheesy glory. Like some of PWSA's other movies, it was a lot of genre fun! And I thought Sanaa Lathan was just fine. If one of those way, way, way over the hill types, like Arnie or Sly, was in this I would definitely NOT have seen it. And their successors, like Vin D. and Rock, aren't exactly box office gold.
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There are a lot of very angry people on this thread and I'm just lapping up every delicious moment. Seriously, I hate Hollywood these days because it engenders in me the feeling that I'm getting old before my time. I love exploitation cinema! I love B movies! I love silly, dumb action nonsense! Yet I still remember films of a certain era that even when they were truly bad, dumb or exploitative often contained redeeming qualities. B movies in the late 70s and 80s were still very much movies, directed by directors, scripted by scriptwriters and acted by actors, even if they weren't that good. I remember the days when exploitative horror schlock had cool effects, interesting characterisation, witty, often subversive scripts, and competent direction. Screw this bloodless, jismless crud that is being foisted upon us. AVP 87 minutes? The first 40 minutes of 'Alien' was characterisation and plot establishment alone. Do contemporary movie viewers really have the attention spans of ADD-afflicted mayflies, that will cause them to become restless if they aren't being distracted every five minutes? See what I mean? I'm being made to feel old and I don't fucking like that one bit. All my favourite monster movies have a few smarts about them, I won't entertain the notion of seeing them otherwise. And for heaven's sake even the original 'Predator', while not having a great deal of character development, had simply great supporting actors. Along with Arnold you had Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, Bill Duke and Sonny Landham. You KNEW these guys could tear a thousand arseholes if it came down to it. Fuck this pop star/'personality'-bullshit non-casting in movies these days. And the only other P-WhatevertheFuck Anderson movie I've seen is 'Event Horizon'. And I fucking hated it. I'm normally a sucker for B-variety horror-in-space silliness, but that film was just stupid and fucking lame. End of story.
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How good? When I snuck into Spiderman 2 afterwards (for my first viewing), I kept thinking, "Damn, it'd sure be nice if they kept things moving, like AVP..." *** No bulls**t character development, just ACTION. Lots of it. Queenie never looked so good, either... *** Admit it, ya whiny geeks...you didn't know WHO was going to win that first match-up, did ya? Surprised the s**t outta ya when one of the Predators got it within seconds of arrival...
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Aug 18, 2004 12:40:36 AM CDT
I HATED THIS MOVIE MORE THAN ANYTHING I HOPE IT IS A BULLET IN
by mwhelan67
The bad dialogue, the ruination of both mythologies,the Power Rangers/WWE feel of the fights, the raptor aliens, the T-Rex queen, the god-awful story. the "Texstralian" accent on the oil guy, and worst of all, the terrible "surely to God he wouldn't do something that stupid" thing I predicted about two years ago.... The Predators were our gods and all but created modern man and modern society.......DIE ANDERSON!!! FUCKING DIE!!!
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First, I'm not here to defend the movie or flame any one who thinks it's shit. I am well aware of it's faults. That said, I was expecting so much worse from Anderson that I actually found myself smiling when the end credits rolled. Maybe it was just the visual kick of seeing these two iconic monsters tearing the shit out of each other on the big screen that did it for me but I had a blast at this movie. I don't think it's nearly as bas as some of the shit I've had to sit through in a movie theater and it's certainly not the worst movie of the year. I know that a stronger director could have nailed this and made it into a sci-fi classic but I wasn't expecting that at all from Paul W.S. Anderson. I think this is one of those films that sets the stage for a more impressive sequel, something that will take these characters in a new direction without the stale acting and flat dialogue from the human actors. It could have been better but I don't think it's the cinematic atrocity that people are making it out to be.
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Sorry of getting under your skin like that Nightarrows. What can I say I thought it was a good movie, you thought it was a bad one. All I mean when I say that "It's not that bad" is that I liked the movie, but yeah there are some things I would have done different. A)I wish the Aliens hadn't matured so quickly and B)I didn't need to see the chick and the Predator doing the slow-mo jog. Did those 2 things ruin it for me? No. Did A3 have more substance? . . . Yeah, probably; . . . but it also was long, drawn out, had waaay too much unnecessary dialog, was all-around visually unappealing, and just plain sucked. AVP didn't need more substance. The substance was established in the 6 prequels. (By the way, if you haven't seen them, A1, A2, and P1 are the best ones) AVP was exactly what it needed to be: some Alens and some Predators going at it with some humans caught in the middle. You want substance? Stay home and jerk off to your Paul Shore movies if that's what you're into.
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... for yourself, then there's no point in trying to explain it to you...
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Come on dude. If you're not good with debating, or just don't have a point to argue, it's usually best to just stay quiet. "Go kill yourself with a gun", or however it is that you phrased it reeks of immaturaty and makes me wonder if you're even supposed to be online without your parents permission. Nevermind watching the scarey aliens.
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Vindicated at last. First of all Paul Anderson is not the problem as Superherohype.com posted this morning. The studio imposed the PG 13 rating 3 weeks before release. All of the characters killed were supposed to die on screeen and several effects sequences and an entire sub plot were not in the final theatrical cut. The true story of this film won't be known until the R rated directors cut is released.
There you have it fans and haters alike, so you can stop dissing Anderson. Just because YOU didn't like Resident Evil and Event Horizon, doesn't mean that lots of other people didn't. (though how some of you douchebags can watch freddy and jason movies ad nauseum and then bitch about Anderson's flicks is beyond me.) Regardless though, AVP has not yet been seen in it's intended version. Even so the movie is not bad as is. Some people aren't as goddamned particular as you net nerds.(they have lives for starters) You take these things waaayyy too seriously.
Really folks I know we've all been looking forward to it but it's just a movie, so all of this "I'm gonna fuckin' kill Paul W.S. Anderson" stuff is pretty pathetic. It's worse than the fucking crybabies throwing a fit because the "scourging of the shire" wasn't in the theatrical cut of Return of the King. Anyone with half a brain knows that the studio is putting out a "bigger longer and uncut version" on DVD. (they are pretty much doing that with everything now gang) If they can sucker you into seeing a shitty version in the theatre they will, if only so that they can save the gritty gory version to sucker you into wanting on DVD. AVP was cut to shit by the STUDIO so they could cash in on the little prepubescant turds who weren't old enough to have seen any of the previous films, at the expense of the real fans.
So if you want to bitch and whine, do it constructively and write FOX. They are the ones responsible for this blasphemy. Let them know how pissed you are. I don't know how much they will care, because you have already satisfied thier need of you. YOU BOUGHT THE TICKET ALREADY THEY HAVE ALREADY WON! So get over yourselves and realize that the studio doesn't really care what you think as long as you keep buying the tickets. -
If you go to http://movies.yahoo.com/mvc/drv?mid=1808496111 you'll see that 3103 people have writen reviews of this movie. The average grade they give it is a B-. So to all you haters out there talking about wanting to fuck Anderson up the ass and how he raped your childhood, the facts are in; you're just wrong.
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Aug 19, 2004 2:57:26 PM CDT
"thenewpulp and the vile crap that spewed from his mouth"
by scytheofluna
You are a fucking nutjob man. To suggest that someone should kill themselves because they liked a movie? Really... is that healthy? I think you need a break man. You need to step back from the keyboard for a few minutes and get back in touch with reality.
Seriously man, you may need some psychological help. I read about that kid in Britain who murdered another child after playing "Manhunt" on his PS2 and I thought that was pretty sad, but you are a whole new category of human filth. If you can't seperate entertainment from reality, to such a severe degree that you would wish death on another human being because they disagree with you, then YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. If you are too insecure to acknowledge that another persons point of view is valid despite the fact that it doesn't fit with your own narrow perspective YOU NEED TO LIGHTEN UP. Who the hell are you to dictate Woodbyrne's feelings on the film? Is he not a fully developed consiousness on his own, with the ability to think and decide how he feels without being berated by some pathetic Fanboy? I don't happen to know him personally so I don't know. Maybe you can educate me as well, o' wise infallible one. Seriously, maybe we should all check in with this arrogant ass before we form our own opinions about anything from now on. Gee, "newpulp" did you hate Spiderman 2 as well? Should I slit my wrists because I thought it was pretty good?
What a gomer! It's choades like you that give the rest of us horror and fantasy buffs a bad name. The whole obsessive netnerd thing is totally played out. Chicks definitely don't dig it, so I don't know what crowd you are playing to. Hell, I'm goth and I am not that melodramatic. If you didn't like the movie too fuckin' bad, some of the rest of us did.
So once again I will close with what is becoming my mantra for this forum. You aren't a fucking expert, you don't know shit, so get over yourself. -
"Hello Pot? This Kettle. You're black!" "Hello Kettle? This Pot. Back at ya!" *** "... oh man, u r such a dumass!!! I can't belive the way u rite! U sound like a totaly graid shcoler!!! AND FUCK U FOR FOR BEING SO HOSTIL!!! Fucken loser!!! I now u cant possibly have a girfriend and live yur moms bassment...
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I cannot believe the level of aggression that comes from some of you wackos. Seriously, conspiring to give a film director herpes because you didn'
t like his movie? Don't you think that's a bit extreme? Why don't you try-oh, I don't know...NOT GOING TO HIS FILMS ANYMORE? If you really find his films that distasteful then excersise your right to not fucking go. If they offend you to such a degree that you would wish tragedy on the filmmaker and those who enjoy his films then quit seeing his movies. That's right, stay home and rent whatever geek film that does meet your pristine expectations. That way the rest of us can have a civil discussion about the film without a bunch of morbid perverse nonsense clouding up the message boards. If you don't like Paul Anderson your best revenge on him is to skip his next movie. He will do just fine without you. Believe it or not some of the rest of us actually do enjoy his films. I don't know what any of you were expecting with Resident Evil or Event Horizon but those of us who knew what to expect enjoyed them immensely. Everyone has such a hardon for Freddy, Jason, and Michael Meyers and none of the movies that they are in have any more substance, suspense, or character development than Andersons films. This is the problem, you bitch and moan but you continue to shell out the cash for the tickets and therefore you are just a bunch of whining netnerd fanboy retards... -
In reference to my last post, I was mistaken on how many people graded AVP. 11,600 something people graded the movie giving it an average grade of B-. Not 3103 as I previously posted. How are you going to argue with the average grade of 11,600 people? Does B- mean that it's the greatest movie of all time or even great? No, but it means that it's good, and doesn't deserve the negativity it's receiving out here. Most of you waited so long for this movie to happen that nothing would have mesured up to own ideas of what it should have been. Now go back to day-dreaming about what it would be like to be Bruce Cambell's best buddy, and stop your crying.
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Look basically what we all saw is the version that will be shown on sci fi in a few years. cut to hell with no gore. The studio imposed the cuts to several threads of the storyline because they are capitalist bastards. Just wait for the Dvd before you pass judgement on this. This movie was not supposed to be Alien or Predator. The feel was not intended to be the same. Maybe I got more out of it because I have read all of the novels and can forgive the faults. by no means was it perfect. Now if they had adapted "Prey" from the darkhorse books, that would have been ideal, but you take the good with the bad, and this was a good starting point. It was sure as hell better than Alien 3, Alien Ressurection, and on par with Predator 2. Hopefully the obvious sequel and Directors cut will sit better with everyone. Knowing that roughly a third of the film is still sitting somewhere waiting for transferance onto DvD later this year definitely provides some comfort. I don't normally approve of pirate copies, but in this case as Fox decided to steal a third of the film from us, I watched a bootleg copy a friend had. Fox can have their money when they release the intended R rated version. Until then...........Calm down and quit being so fucking hostile,
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Based on all of the negativity the talk-backers seem to have (actually... most of the talb-backers are always shitting on just about anything anywhere) so there goes any credibility. The movie was fun, in the spirit of the original series of movies, and better than Alien3 or Alien4. Yes.. there were flaws.. and problems that I had with it.. but overall... when it comes down to it... it was good for a summer, popcorn movie.
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The biggest problem with the disagreements on film choice (particularly on AVP) rests in the varying standards used by different talkback participants. Those critical of the film generally understand that character-driven storytelling is so ingrained in our culture that it predates the art of filmmaking--- and also each of us on this board. Such storytelling has traditionally served as the basis for what makes films great... or even "good". While Anderson consistently delivers when it comes to the technical aspects of moviemaking (digital sound, cinematography, set design, special effects), his recent films have been vapid when it comes to both character and story. This is excluding "Soldier", which actually had good character development. The issue here is "what are the elements that make a good film?" While I like strong visuals as much as the next person, I'm in the camp with thenewpulp... I just can't give a silly, pretty film a high rating. Macstone... please note that while the yahoo poll may mean something to people who can't grasp statistics (of which there are many), the flawed methodology of such surveys leaves their results wide open to various interpretations. Especially when we don't know much about the sample population for the survey. One final point (for the record)... George Lucas' integration of myth into filmmaking has been lauded on countless occasions. On this basis alone, it's quite unfair to compare him to a moviemaker such as Anderson. After all, can we really ignore how profoundly Lucas' work has affected numerous modern filmmakers such as Peter Jackson, James Cameron, and even Anderson himself?
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Anyone who gives this movie a positive review, is missing the point. I saw AVP and while I didn't hate it, I didn't like it either. It is just another mediocre hollywood movie! 2 Years from now the AVP dvd will be collecting dust on video store shelves nationwide along with movies like Van Helsing, I Robot and maybe even Spiderman 2. In almost every positive review of AVP there are also many negative comments. I don't know about you but I demand more for my hard earned $7.50 ($11.00 in NYC) than "I liked it but....." By showing your support for AVP you are just convincing Hollywood to make more and more mindless, boring and mediocre films. The acting is AVP is Horrible and they way the f***ed with the Alien life cycle is unforgivable! This and the fact that Fox cut the movie to pieces AND gave it a PG-13 rating reminds me that if you can't do something right the first time, DON'T DO IT AT ALL! Now we all have to wait for the DVD to see the "R-Rated Director's Cut" which may or may not be better than the theatrical version. What a joke!
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If Fox wants to cut movies all to hell and ruin director's visions, maybe they should step in and take control away from George Lucas and make a GOOD Star Wars movie. That's just my opinion though. To quote C3PO in Episode II, "What a drag".
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Aug 22, 2004 3:18:43 PM CDT
I don't know guys. . . It's just as easy for me to say that you
by macstone
To dvdbob: I'm with you to a point. I fully agree about letting Hollywood know when they've handed us a bag of $#!+, but I strongly disagree that AVP "boring and mediocre" as you put it. And as far as being "mindless", since when is that such a bad trait to have in a movie such as this? I liked it. What can I say? I had fun. Do I think that this was one of the greatest movie of all time? No. But it's certainly didn't suck, and I definatly felt no need to ask for a refund (which I have done on several occasions). It's not the people who say they didn't like it that gives me reason to debate the issue. It's the people that are classifying it as a big pile of shit and obviously weren't going to give it a chance to begin with. One guy even had the stupidity to come out here and piss all over it without even having seen it. Months ago Harry said it was going to suck, so all the sheep jumped on that bandwagon, but didn't jump back off when he changed his tune and said that, although it wasn't destined for greatness, it might not be that bad. The sheep were just prepared to be nothing but critical, and unfortunatly that caused them put their blinders on and miss out. And to DeeJay: I understand that the Yahoo thing wasn't a controlled study; I'll give you that, but it still makes a point. Let's not be overly-anal about it.
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I saw the movie yesterday. when I came out, I found myself feeling weird....that movie was actually good. After weeks of reading shit dumping on that movie, my expectations were so low. But you know what, I like this Anderson guy. Except for Soldier, I dig all his movies...It shows that he's a fan the material, the Aliens and Predators were simply amazing looking....and you're telling me there's an uncunt version coming out on DVD? I'm so there.
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Macstone... I understand where you're coming from, but please keep in mind that of the 11,600 (if there ever really were 11,600 subjects), only a small portion would likely have the same understanding of film-making as you do. It's somewhat similar to the idea of people on this board scoring the Olympic women's uneven bars competition. Sure, we could say "good," "bad," "mistake," etc. However, only a select few would have the expertise to offer a valid score or grade on those routines. By the same token, I don't think it's anal to disregard AVP's grade of B- altogether. For the record... I agree with your overall point that early buzz--- either negative or positive--- usually affects the way the masses receive a particular film. This is why I think that "Xanadu," "Can't Stop the Music" and "Goonies II" got such a raw deal (I'm kidding).
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11,600 people of no controlled, monitored, or predetermined age, race, sex, or knowledge of movie making went to see this movie and thought strongly enough about it (positive or negative) to go online, write a review, and give it a grade. What difference should it make what their level of understanding is on film making? At issue is: Did the person enjoy the film or didn't they? Are you trying to say those out there who know something about making a movie are the only ones qualified to say if it's good or bad? That's the main reason I avoid putting stock into the opinions of professional movie critics. Most times they are much too . . . well, . . critical; largely in part to their being so close to the industry. I always find the consumer reviews much more accurate. And sure they
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Macstone... I get your point, but if you can't trust the methodology, you can't trust the methodology. I questions whether 11,600 legitimately saw the film and gave it such ratings. What if there were fewer real people that simply voted multiple times? What if one or two people used a "bot" to continue to vote and inflate---or even deflate--- the average score? Even if the total number is legit, who's to say that the vast majority of the voters weren't under the age of 13? While my taste was once in line with that of a 13-year-old (when I was 13), I wouldn't say that a random bunch of 13-year-olds are a sufficient population to determine a films quality outside of what that particular population looks for. In that case, if were to say 13-year-olds give the film a B- (and you know how a lot of people would receive such a statement), then that would be okay. What if most of the voters hadn't even seen the film? Who could say if they have or haven't (especially knowing that many people on this board also haven't seen it). Right now, all of these seem to be legit questions. So, the supposed yahoo survey means close to nothing, as it stands. But, if you still disagree, please feel free to have the last word here.
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I can just agree to disagree. The last line of that post makes it sound as if you are a little aggravated, and that really wasn't my intent. I was just having a good time debating the issue (which ultimately is about as important as a grain of salt). It was refreshing to see that someone out here can argue an opinion without belligerence (even if they are wrong). Just kidding.
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This is all you need to know regarding Paul Anderson's lame-ass excuses as to why this movie sucked so much ass!
Originally posted by Kreeper on CHUD.com:
1 )The statement Anderson made about the Briggs script being "off limits" due to rights issues is a blatant lie. Fox owns the rights to those characters, not Darkhorse. What Anderson said is the equivalent of Warner Bros. not being able to use a Batman comic idea for a movie because DC didn't approve. Where's your common sense, people?
I'm very familiar with the history of the Briggs script because I was part of its controversy. Back in 1994 Brigss basically copied the comic by Randy Stradley into script form (and not very well, I might add), slapped his name on it, and handed it in to Fox as a spec. To make matters worse, he then "leaked" his own script onto the net and began writing in to every genre magazine from STARLOG to CINESCAPE bragging about how great his script was - while never even acknowledging Stradley's work. And of course the internet fan boys ate it up with a relish. To make things worse Briggs also began writing letters criticizing Whedon as writer - even though he hadn't started on the script yet (just the cloning concept).
This upset me to no end, so in June of 1995 I wrote a letter to CINESCAPE criticizing Briggs' script, his incessant bragging, and his lack of acknowlegement of Mr. Stradley's fine work. I also politely pointed out that if his script was as good as he thought it was, Fox would have hired him to be writing ALIEN 4, not Whedon.
Well, let me tell you the sh*t really hit the fan then. The next issue of CINESCAPE had a letter section called "Briggs vs. (insert my last name here)" Briggs wrote back threatening to sue me (which provided my agent and I a lot of amusement) and how his script was good, dammit! I had a friend working in Fox legal at the time who told me that my letter caused a bit of controversy. The website Coming Attractions later republished my letter and confronted Briggs about it and he basically hemmed and hawed.
My friend in Fox legal later told me that the project fell apart because it was deemed too expensive to make and the ALIEN producers Giler, Carroll, and Hill hated the idea of taking a story from a comic.
The irony is, as much as I disliked Briggs' script, it would have been light years better than the crap Anderson gave us. Coincidentally, in 2002, a team of screenwriters DID adapt Stradley's AvP story to script form. I never read it but I heard that it was mediocre and scrapped for budgetary reasons. This left the door open for Anderson to pitch his concept.
2) Regarding the "studio interference" to make AvP PG-13. This is also a lie. I have a friend whose trailer company did the AvP campaign. So I was able to "see" most of an uncut version as they were pulling scenes from it waaay back in January. All I saw was a little bit more screentime for the Chestburster sequence (which made it look even more fake), and more useless exposition between the characters. The fight scenes of the two titular creatures were a bit longer but the coverage of the action is still horrible.
The PG-13 rating was planned from the beginning. It was part of Anderson's pitch that by setting it in present day to keep the budget (relatively) low and shooting for a PG-13 he could guarantee the suits at Fox a big opening (unfortunately it worked). Remember how we were going to get a Director's Cut of Resident Evil and Event Horizon on DVD? If you don't believe me just wait for the DVD and see how little meat there is.
Anderson's an untalented hack and a constant liar. I'm tired of him using other people's properties to try and bolster his career and then trying to cover up his own incompetence by blaming the studios. I don't care how "nice" the guy is. -
Macstone... didn't mean to come off like that. I also enjoy the back and fort (without the vitriol). I just didn't want the two of us to drive the other posters crazy with our dialog :-)
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It just opened over here in Ireland. After all the negative reviews and Anderson-bashing, I went in with no expectations whatsoever. I enjoyed it immensely. I think it was better than Alien3 and Resurection. After all, what's left to be done with just aliens on their own? Only if they take over Earth would it be any way original. At least the Predators gave it a new dimension. I'd like to see a sequel, but with some more money thrown in, and one or two good actors.
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...and I thought I'd drop in because I just saw this film on DvD for the first time, and thought that posterity would like to hear what I had to say. Pompous, ain't I? Okay, well, this review is pretty spot-on. Of all the Alien flims one could compare this to, I'd pick Alien 3. Alien 3 had some cool stuff in it: The prison, the dog-alien, the chases through the maze, etc. But due to the inept setup (how did Ripley get impregnated? Why was Newt's case cracked? Why did they kill everyone from the first movie with no hoo-ha?) you came away thinking that it could have been a much better movie. "Ressurection" was a turd that nothing can save. Sure, aliens under water were scary. Big deal. AvP's major problems were fight choreography (there didn't seem to be any) and an unfamiliarity with "common sense," especially on the part of the Predators. I mean, you take a dead dude on your ship from a zone that had aliens in it, and you don't scan the body for parasitic killing machines? And, what, the alien queen's barb through the predator didn't kill the parasite? And what happened to the premise of alien 3 that aliens can "sense" when a host has a lil' baby alien inside? So in short, it's an okay flick, but a better setting, tighter writing, and probably a better director would have helped. Hell, if they do another one, why not have Dark Horse Comics adapt it? They do better Aliens, Predators (and Star Wars, for that matter) than the studios do.
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...wait till you guys see AvP2. God save you all.
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and are you on crack Harry?
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It's slim pickins there
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