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Ash-Kicking Babe Action From BLADE: TRINITY!!!
Hey folks, Harry here... The scene below was shown at Comic Con and reported on all over the internet, but this is the first time it's popped up online. And it debuts at MAXIM... so click on over, browse the links... spend several hours looking at soft-core babe-shots and Jessica Biel in BLADE: TRINITY.
Click Here To See Maxim's Preview of Jessica Biel with Too Much Clothing On, But Kicking Vampire's Ashes Every Which Way!
Ok - now you want to know how the film is coming along.... well, thanks to a screening Wednesday night in Los Angeles area, you'll get your answer. Now, watch out, there's spoilers galore below, but if you don't want to know them, I'll just tell you that this reviewer dug the hell out of it! So it looks like all is well...
Hey Harry,
You can call me DISCO PIG. I caught a screening of Blade: Trinity last night at the Bridge in LA, and I have to say I was pretty damn impressed.
The story? I think its been pretty well covered in earlier reviews, but just in case not everyone caught it before, it goes like this (SPOILERS, obviously):
We start out with some voice over about blood or something silly (more on this later) then we get a shot of Iraq. A helicopter swoops in and drops off some high tech military looking cats. They climb up this huge staircase into some type of ruined temple. Once inside we find out these are all vampires searching for someone. The vamps are led by Danica (Parker Posie). Suddenly, quicksand spills down and one of the vamps leans his gets yanked in. He pops back up spouting blood like a fountain from where his head used to be. Out of the hole, an armored hand lunges up and then this nasty fucker pops out all decked out in some old school knight-age armor. His mouth opens and we see a flash of fangs then....
Intro our hero. First let me say Blade kicks a lot of ass in this film. And the new weapons are delicious. First one we get to see is this whip-thing with a dagger on the end. It's not really a whip - it's retractable. Best I can describe it. Next we jump into a sweet car chase that ends in Blade accidentally killing a human. "Set your ass up," the victim says. On the roof Danica watches with her handy Rodney King cam.
The Feds get this tape and a lead on where Whistler and Blade are hiding out. Whistler tells Blade he's getting sloppy, and he can't do this alone.
Enter the Night Stalkers. Abigail (whose intro I'll just let y'all enjoy when you see it -- fyi: she probably has the best weapons & she's smokin hot) is Whistler's daughter. And Hannibal King (played by the ever funny Ryan Reynolds) used to be a suck-head but took the cure, and now he kills them.
Blade's boathouse gets bum-rushed by the feds and Whistler goes out with a bang. Once Blade is taken in, we find out the head of the FBI is a familiar. There is a hilarious scene where Dr. Vance gets all talk-therapy on Blade. "When you drink blood, do you find yourself getting sexually aroused?" Blade's reactions to his questions had us dying. We then find out Vance is a familiar too, and they are transferring Blade over to the vampires. The NS break up the party and rescue blade.
Back at their "honeycomb hideout" as King likes to call it, they fill Blade in on the arrival of Dracula, aka Drake. Apparently they've dug him up for some vampire "endgame." Drake taunts Blade into a foot chase and leads him up to a rooftop with an infant hostage he snags along the way. Drake tells Blade that next time they meet Blade will die by his sword.
We find out that the NS have something called the Day Star Virus that they are going to use to off the entire vampire race. The only problem? It will probably kill Blade as well. The NS get ambushed and most die. King gets kidnapped, so Abigail and Blade crash the vampires central HQ and the final showdown begins. Blade and Drake dance a little sword swinging tango and
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The end? I'll get to that in a second. But first, let me tell you what I absolutely loved. RYAN REYNOLDS steals the fucking show. This guy is so damn funny, it's unbearable. And it doesn't hurt the movie at all. It really juices it up. He and Blade have this animosity going on that is priceless. Blade is such a badass that when you hear Hannibal King tossing one-liners Blade's way, you flinch for King. I thought Blade was gonna slap him silly. The only suggestion I have is: there are some instances where less would be more with King. Sometimes I felt, okay that's one too many jokes in a row. Don't get me wrong, Vamp Wilder cracked me the F-up, but they could cut a joke or two out. Also, there is this weird jump when Danica says she's going to turn King back to a vampire. He suddenly - for the first time in the whole movie - goes completely serious. She's cracked King's armor, and it's a great scene. It's very believable. But, we cut to something else and when we come back - King's back to cracking jokes. That felt weird. However, I wouldn't sacrifice the "cavalry" bit that occurs right after. Funniest moment of the film.
A lot of the action is exactly what you'd expect and more from a Blade film. The car chase was beautiful. Blade is ruthless on these vamps. The EFFECTS were surprisingly tight. We were prompted that this was a "work in progress," but I didn't notice anything missing. The ashing is the best I've seen from any of the Blade films. There's this one scene where Abigail shoots a vampire, he ashes and his fried skull lands on the hood of a car with a THUMP. In other scenes, we watch skin zip off and then skeletons sizzle and ash. Tasty shit like that abounds.
THE DRACULA MONSTER -while we unfortunately don't get to see enough of it - is horrific. He's like a towering, thorny, horned, pumped version of the skinless dude in Hellraiser with an Aliens-Predator hybrid mouth. The vampire dogs were also pretty sick. There's a funny bit when King has to battle it out with them.
TRIPLE H surprised me. He's funny and reminds me a lot of Deacon Frost's sidekick in the first film. PARKER POSEY is hilarious. She struts in like a slutty,trashy, spazoid vampire queen. A buddy of mine didn't dig her, but I totally ate her performance up. When she and King were in scenes together, they play off each other nicely.
HUMOR: I guess that is the main surprise in this film is that it's so damn funny. It's a good surprise. The scares are there, the gore is there, the ass kicking rules, the soundtrack is hot, and so the added humor is a bonus. Oh, and Ryan Reynolds might get the most laughs, but the funniest line of the entire film is said by Blade, and I won't give it away cause when he says it the crowd went nuts. I'll just say it's classic Blade.
Now with all that said, the one thing I hope-hope-hope (fingers crossed) they change is
THE ENDING. I saw one guy in front of me raise up his hands like "what the..." and i saw a few heads shaking. I don't know if they're gonna change it or what, but it involves some weird dying exchange between Blade and Drake that just comes out of left-field. I think it can work, but they need to set it up much better. Also, the voice-over (at the beginning and end) absolutely must go. It is not needed and it does nothing but insult our intelligence. We got what they were shooting for without hearing it.
Hopefully the filmmakers get enough feedback from those yellow response cards they had us fill out and they'll change the ending, because other than that beef, Blade: Trinity was one funny, gory, bass-thumping, ass-kicking, vamp-ashing hell of a ride.
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+ Expand All
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...actually in this movie. Goyer talks about replacing him on one interview. Wesley IS Blade, HE'S the franchise. I don't care if he is a total ass.
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Does it? DOES IT, BITCH? Peace Out.
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When you do your review for this movie. Try to spare us any metaphors involving the director eating out your pussy. Okay big guy? Thank you!
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Jessica Biel is SO FREAKIN' HOT! I would even watch a sequel to Summer Catch if she stripped down again. Thank god she got off 7th Heaven and can do more mature roles (like Anne Hathaway is doing in "Havoc". Why can't every hot 20-something follow in her footsteps?).
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Yes Wesley is in the movie. If you've watched the trailers for this you would clearly see he is still the lead. Oh and just for the record: he is a total asshole.
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From all the promotion, is it anything other than the title suggesting this film is about Blade primarily?
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Aug 13, 2004 4:52:00 AM CDT
Was it more or did this reviewer want to suck Ryan Reynolds love
by grabthars_hammer
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The Law says it
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... the trailer looks good. I think Goyer will make it work. Can't believe he got started with "Demonic Toys." Funny shit. If only he'd had a hand in "Dollman vs Demonic Toys" then he'd really have bragging rights.
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I don't seem to get the animation running in the top left.....just a still, is this a bad thing?
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For costumes they are using paintball equipment (the uniforms/helmet of the guards JB is head kicking)??? Is this a low-budget 80's flick or a modern day fan-film??
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You could replace Wesley Snipes with a muppet and no one would spot it.
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Just what I want in a Blade flick. American Pie rejects fighting vampires, yay. If Dawson from Dawson creek was in it it would be prefect. You know what else is cool? The way a 110 pound girl can beat up a pack of vampires, who supposedly have far superior strength and speed. She is super tough. I bet she could beat up Lennox Lewis. Because theres no way hes stronger or faster than a vampire. I hope they get Lindsey Lohan for the next blade.
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No? Nevermind. sk
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Aug 13, 2004 1:40:57 PM CDT
All these teen starlets should look at Jessica Beil as an exaple
by mbaker
It would certianly give them more credibility in the long run because if they limit them selves to crappy teen movies (cough Hilary Duff, Linsay Lohan cough) they won't get much respect from everyone else! Sarah Michelle Geller should get back to basics, and distance herself from crap like "Scooby-Doo" (And dump that loser, Freddie Prinze Jr. ASAP) before she fades into obscurity! Lord knows she has potential, it's just that she's been side tracked lately.
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I hate windows media. I get an error that says it's a file Windows doesn't understand! What da fuck!
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In the first two movies, Vampires clearly possess superhuman strength and Blade is the only one who can fight them 1 on 1 because of his equal strength. So how does Jessica biel take on 5 vampires without getting her forearm snapped like a corn chip? -
She is probably one of the few women in Hollywood who actually look like a real woman. She has a great body and did in fact train well for Blade 3. What is laughable is the 98 pound Kiera Knightly going all Braveheart and fighting soldiers in King Arthur. Or even SMG slaying Vamps because she was mad thin. In reality a group of Vamps would have killed Buffy long ago. My only problem with the clip was the overacting of the guy being sprayed by the baby doll.
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Man, I love the Blade movies and Biel looks hot, but I HATE actions scenes that are over edited! (*cough* Catwoman *cough*). I really miss the "Matrix" (esp. the first one) fight scenes, because they showed the characters fighting in wide shots, not in a choppy, over edited, too many close ups style (same thing hampered "Bourne Supremacy," but that movie still rocked hard).
However, I'm still rooting for the movie, it could still be kick ass fun. -
It didn't matter how thin the girl playing Buffy was. In the context of that story, she had supernatural strength. That's why she could kick the vampires' asses. She wasn't just some girl who decided to learn martial arts and take on the undead.
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Did they have to recycle Crystal Method for this one too?
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needless to say i am so excited about this project i am promptly going to forget all about it. i hate to say it, but when they stage better fights on buffy than you're epic film you're kung fu is pretty much fucked, and it is. bored now.
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Aug 13, 2004 5:51:06 PM CDT
How about Jessica Biel to play Daisy Duke for Dukes of Hazzard
by tequilaworm
O H M Y God, I just soiled my new boxers. Peter North got nothing on me. I am the true "DECORATOR"...CHEERS Amigos!
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...art in the making.
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abandon ship. -
Your PSU costs toooooo muchhhhhhhh
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Have Blade takin on the Munsters wiv Hulk Hogan as special guest referee in a first blood match...who to Direct? hmmmmmm.
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the Director just came to mind .....Paul W.S. Anderson
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Your right Profit. Jessica nowhere near 110 pounds. She is 120lbs easy. With those extra 10Lbs, I could easily see how she could annihilate a horde of the undead without any trouble. Sigh, why do I even bother. At least Sexy Beast gets it.
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Aug 13, 2004 9:32:10 PM CDT
the sad thing is i will probably think "this will be cool" and g
by cornstalkwalker
....then be disappointed just like Blade2 and Hellboy. Also, animated Harry doing the Fast Times at Ridgemont High/Phoebe Cates scene is pretty evil.
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or is it just me?
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Aug 13, 2004 11:14:53 PM CDT
The fight choreograpy doesn't work here or in the MTV footage.
by darksider
You have a slow fight scene with normal blocks, punches, and kicks to (recycled) techno music. The fight and speed should match the music. What happened to the high energy, fast-paced, fuckers flying through midair and shit? You should be excited during a fight scene. Here I'd rather listen to the dialogue or just look at Jessica Biel. And how does a normal human fight 5 vampires unarmed without super strength or speed?
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Aug 13, 2004 11:56:24 PM CDT
For an example of good fight choreography, catch Matt Damon vers
by frankdrebin
Well staged and edited. I had a real sense of "kill or be killed" desperation.
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I mean whoever played the assassin that Bourne visits at his home. The critics all talked about the car chase, but I thought that hand-to-hand fight was the best action scene in the movie.
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Did you just say "in reality Vamps would've kicked her ass"? Uhh...what reality is that again?
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you guys must be desperate for news
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Aug 14, 2004 6:31:38 AM CDT
well, that was about the most incomprehensible fight scene I've
by xavier masterson
that last Blade:Trinity clip they released.
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Aug 14, 2004 10:02:00 AM CDT
I knew they'd pussy out on the Vampire Nation taking over the wo
by i dunno
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If they don't get Tom Welling to be Superman, I say get someone like Lucas Black or Ryan Reynolds... darken and tweak their hair, and just go with it. Don't worry about the comic book chin or anything... just get a good looking/talented guy to be in the movie. I think Ryan Reynolds and Lucas Black are totally all-American looking. Especially if you look at Lucas in that Friday Night Lights quicktime trailer. If they get an adult Superman, I'd get Jim Caviezel. If they get Caviezel as adult Clalk, then they should get Rachel Weiz as Lois Lane. If they make Clark young, they should get Jill Small as Lois.
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From the stuff i've heard they pull a fast one on us and leave us hanging.
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My idea for having Dracula in the series would have been as follows: In the wake of not only the Deacon Frost incident of the first film (which wiped out a number of vampire leaders) and the second film (which seemingly crippled another huge vampire clan), there has been constant in-fighting amongst the surviving vampire clans. This is both good and bad for Blade. They're wiping each other out, but at the same time their war is threatening to spill over into the human world. To make matters worse, in an attempt to shore up their numbers, the vampires are turning familiars and regular folks into vamps--drafting (unwilling) innocents into their war with one another. So in the midst of all this madness, Vlad Dracula returns like the vampire messiah... The story of Dracula is revealed in voice over and flashback: Once a powerful and natural born ruler, he was turned to a vampire. Suddenly, he saw his status diminished as a non-pureblood among the vampire nations. He saw his people being used as cattle. Gathering up strength and power among the other non-purebloods, he launched a bloody war against the other clans in an attempt to regain his dignity and power that left many humans and vampires dead. Then he vanished... The legend of Dracula being a butcher is then shared among both the human and vampire worlds. Now, he's returned. Claiming to have vanished in an attempt to atone for his violence and seek a better way, he is back to not only reunite the vampire clans under a single rule, he wishes to reveal themselves to the human world. He's got humans and vampires working together, sharing their knowledge and abilities with one another. His desire for Blade and Whistler? He wants them to be his generals in an anti-vampire war, attacking those he feels are threatening his dream of a shared human/vampire world, and to be among his army in his new world order. He's a charming, romantic, popular, aristocratic, and tragic figure that Blade and Whistler refuse to trust, but they do agree that the clans who are becoming overly agressive with turning unwilling humans as cannon fodder must be stopped. Before the end, Blade and Whistler find their worst fears confirmed: Dracula IS a good guy, betrayed by his second in command. Dracula lie dying slowly from being tortured and ripped to shreds by conspirators, while watching his dream burn to the ground--and all Blade, Whistler, and the loyal followers can do is watch. The word of his death causes so much celebration among the warring clans that they pledge--for a short time-- to ignore their war with each other and begin openly assaulting the human world like savages. Armies of vampires running rampant on the city streets at midnight, killing and feeding on all they find. Insert lengthy scenes of a vampire riot in the streets, chaos, killing... Daylight finally comes after 'blood night' and Blade warns Dracula's loyal to stay out of sight for the next few years if they don't want to die. Emerging from the catacombs, Blade and Whistler walk into horror of the city, people accidently turned during the night suffering from daylight sickness, EMTs, police, the walking wounded, and somberly acknowledging that they've only been fighting battles up to this point, and this is now a full-fledged war. Now that the vampire clans have slipped up and revealed themselves in this way, there's no going back, and they won't be holding back. The future holds packs of wild, unaligned vampires roaming the streets like wild animals, the old clans forcing their will openly, and a potential for another 'blood night' every night of the year. The humans need organization and training now, and it looks like it's up to them to become what Dracula wanted them to be all along: His generals in a war against those who would operate agaist human/vampire coexistance. End film. Of course, I'm teh suck, too...
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I'd fucking pay to see that. Indeed, had I enough money I'd probably pay to get it made. They explored the idea that vampires aren't necessarily intrinsically evil in Blade 2, and I've always liked revisionist takes on Dracula that portray him as misunderstood - cause let's be fair, virtually all the male characters in Stoker's novel were complete dickheads, and I can totally see why Lucy and Mina were both seduced by the Count when the competition consisted of a bunch of repressed Victorian pansies like Harker and Seward or Southern tossers like Quincey Morris. Also, an all-out assault on the human race would, frankly, kick ass, and could lead to a fourth "vampires rule the earth" movie like they were initially talking about for the third. Oh well, in all honesty the Blade movies are pretty much popcorn fluff, so as long as this one has a bunch of cool action and some snappy one-liners, and I'm nicely spliffed up when I see it, I suspect all will be well.
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...yes it could be worse. I know a guy who thingks Blad 2 was the best movie ever. Seriously. They are out there. This looks like a bad Buffy wanna be. At least on buffy they got good stun doubles for SMG and shot with a wide angle. Remeber the buffy-vs-faith smack down in the house? That was a fight. This close, fast cut stuff is crap.
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Is one boring and poorly filmed fight scene. The editing can be improved, but short of refilming it I'm not sure what could really help... In a few moments we go from an uninvolving mother-and-baby-in-danger to a series of uninteresting moves that no vampire should be outclassed by. The actual fight choreography is not even second-rate. -
a buncha men - yeah, right. And the editing was so cut up, and the shots were so close I couldn't tell what was going on. Not very good imo.
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