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Holy Moses does AvP appear to blow huge, slimy chunks!!!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with some... interesting reviews of Paul W.S. Anderson's latest masterpiece, ALIEN VS PREDATOR. I know we give Anderson a lot of shit on this site, but believe it or not we're all pulling for him to prove us wrong. I can't speak for Knowles or the good Dr. Moriarty, but I know one of the reasons why Anderson pisses me off is because I've seen EVENT HORIZON and know he can make a solid, scary gutsy-gory flick. I realize that the great look and pacing of EVENT HORIZON is essentially HELLRAISER, but it still succeeded as a film and it's the only film he has done that I would call a success. So, for me, I wouldn't knock on him so much if he lived up to the potential he showed with EVENT HORIZON.

I'm about to bombard you with tons of completely negative reviews, but never say we're not fair... Of all the reviews we got in, this is the only one that's positive and I present that one first.

Hi Harry, didn't see any reviews on your site yet...

Here I am in Thailand and just saw at 10am the new film AVP. I am familiar with the originals of both series, had the original Dark Horse comics, and also played all the AVP pc games. So one could say that I'm really a fan of this idea. How did it translate on film? Well, since reading AICN I was expecting total trash from Paul W.S. Anderson, and what we get in AVP is a healthy action flick, good use of the monsters for most of the running time, and only a small dose of trash.

Yes there are elements that should not be there, there are predictable elements that a fan can see a mile away, and the ending was a bit too lame for my tastes. It was obviously setting up a sequel, and if you played AVP 2 then you already know where that one is going.

The good: The monsters were top notch, again from reading AICN I was expecting puffy rubber-suited unrealistic predators and silly cheap plastic looking aliens, but both are true to the source material and the special effects are NICELY done. Two thumbs up for a good balance of CGI, man in suit, and animatronics.

The story was good, but honestly, it could have used about 30 more minutes to develop, it felt rushed.

The fights between the Alien and Predator were nice, well done, except for that little incident early in the film that sets up the conclusion. I felt it made the Predators look a bit weak in the face of the bugs ( no pun intended).

The improvised weapons, wow, you get the feeling the Predators have really been doing this a while, and showing the humans how it's done. Nice touch.

The bad: Not long enough, ending sucked for me, and not enough of the fights between the two. The back story was a bit silly as well, having the Predators as demi-gods, founders of alot of human tech, etc... Actually, some of the flashbacks were cool, they could be a film unto themselves, set it in ancient Azteca.

It's hard to write this review without spoilers but all I can say is GO Fanboys, you will enjoy AVP. It delivers fun, entertainment, and Paul W. S. Anderson certainly seems to have great respect for the material he has inherited. I'll be seeing it a few times for sure.

SAWADEE KAP
Kyushin

I sure I hope I agree with the above reviewer. If somehow Anderson makes AvP a fun, action spectacular I will be the first to give him his props. But I just can't shake the wrongness of watering down the film to PG-13. Both franchises are R-rated and when they meet they have to have PG-13 fights? I don't know. I'm seeing this one tomorrow night and I hope it's not as craptacular as these below reviews lead me to believe... But Predators not being good fighters without their guns? What the hell? Maybe it's the fucking propeller blades they have on their arms now... Those claws are ridiculously big... God, I hope this doesn't suck as much as it looks like it does...

Hi Harry. You may call me Red Death and I’m here to confirm everyone’s expectations about “Alien Vs. Predator.” Paul W.S. Anderson makes films that bring two adjectives to mind, cheap and stupid. In that regard “AVP” didn’t let me down one little bit. In fact, he exceeded them. I figured that blessed with the presence of two movie monster icons such as this, Anderson could maybe accidentally craft a film that was merely unoriginal, but maintained the minute possibility of being as fun as say “Predator 2.” I shouldn’t have aimed so high. “AVP” is a vacuum of celluloid that has no reason to exist. It’s without any merit and its existence is a blight on two franchises that deserved better. It’s everything we sci-fi fans have come to expect from this hack and slash director whose obvious deficiencies make one long for the days of early Stephen Hopkins. I can’t believe I just typed that.

The plot? God, why bother regurgitating it. There’s a pyramid that’s influenced by Columbian, Aztec and Egyptian architecture, and it’s found in the Antarctic. If you can wrap your brain around that one then you deserve a medal. Lance Henrickson assembles a bunch of disposable extras to traverse the ice to this long lost temple of doom. No one does more than blurt out expository action film dialogue. Including Spud from “Trainspotting.” P.W.S. immediately starts to assemble the footage in a way that reminds the audience of other, AKA better, films. The first ten minutes are "Jurassic Park Redux." We’re to sit there and dwell on the memory of films one might actually like. Anyway, Predators arrive, aliens hatch, carnage ensues, and that is it.

As much as Anderson claims to love the Alien franchise, he has no qualms about shitting all over the mythology of the series for the sake of subduing his own impatience. In the old “Alien” flicks, getting straddled by a facehugger, which leads to a chestburster, which leads to a full blown adult alien, used to take days. No longer patient enough to deal with such screen time consumption, Anderson speeds up the process to a matter of minutes. His blatant disregard for anything that’s come before shows that his love of “Alien” films past is only skin deep. And the Predators?

The Predators are reduced incompetent warriors who can’t fight for shit without their guns. I’d love to see how Anderson and his screenwriters justified this maneuver. It seems the Predators don’t bring their shoulder cannons with them to the temple, the guns are already in the temple waiting for them to be picked up, but the humans find them and walk off with them. Oye! I don’t want to continue regurgitating this crap.

“AVP” is everything we didn’t want and more. The lousy writing, Anderson’s incoherent directing, the impatient and senseless editing, the completely predictable ending. It’s all here in spades. Anyone who really values these franchises will avoid this film like the plague. Spending money on it only encourages the suits at Fox to further sully the already tarnished reputations of both film franchises. I think “AVP” will in the end kill off both entities for better or for worse. If Fox has no more respect for it’s properties than to put them in the hands of this seemingly unstoppable shithead, then they’re better off dead

Ouch. This one below is especially harsh... This is from a guy who states he actually likes both ALIEN 3 and ALIEN: RESURRECTION... I can understand ALIEN 3... if only to see what a David Fincher trainwreck looks like, but this guy liked RESURRECTION and says AvP is terrible!!!

Hey Harry,

I'm an employee for a large Eastern theater chain (which will not be named)...and tonight, I got to watch 'AVP' which was sent in a day early from Fox.

Now before I say anything, let me state this: I've been a life-long fan of both franchises. The first two 'Alien' installments remain two of my all-time favorite films. They're what turned me onto the horror genre. Hell, I even dug 'Alien 3' and 'Resurrection'...warts n' all. And I worship and adore BOTH 'Predator' movies. I know these six films inside and out. I know the name of every single character. I can quote every line of dialogue.

I've been waiting impatiently for over a decade for this film. I bought all the comic books. I played all the video games. This was a match made in fanboy heaven...and I wanted to see a big-screen adaptation more than anything. Too bad Paul Anderson: Dream Rapist had to come in and single-handidly destroy everything I love in a quick 100 minutes.

Why does the movie suck? Where do I begin?!?!

First off, this does not feel like an 'Alien' or 'Predator' film. It feels like 'Jurassic Park IV' with Aliens and Predators in place of dinosaurs.

The characters? Not a memorable one in the whole lot. You won't find another Ripley, Hudson...or even a Danny-Boy. Lex is one of the most generic and dull heroines to stumble through a feature film...and surprisingly, the supporting cast displays even less energy. Even Lance Henriksen - our one ray of sunshine - isn't in the film long...and does very little.

There isn't a single good or fresh idea in the script. Hell, I thought the whole pyramid/training-ground concept was pretty sweet...until Anderson started crafting his own mythology around it. I won't spoil anything, but let's just say that it's stupid beyond words.

Now...about the PG-13 rating, which I tried so hard to ignore: IT SHOWS!!! God, does it show! Most of the violence in this film is not directed towards Aliens or Predators...but HUMANS. When it's time for a chestbursting or a tongue-death, all we get is a typical cut away. Gone is the colorful profanity that was so much fun to listen to. Even the token "ugly mutherfucker" line gets cut off half-way through. This is exactly what we all feared: A franchise film that looks and feels as if it were made for little kids. I'm not saying an R-rating would've automatically made this good (far from it)...but it would've at least given us some fun carnage.

The fights between the beasts are so badly shot and edited, I didn't care for one solitary second. It didn't stir up one bit of emotion in my inner-fanboy. And the creatures look HORRIBLE. The Aliens seemed okay...but the Predators are absolutely wretched. They look like goofy WWF wrestlers and in no way resemble or act like what we saw in the other films. It's really hard not to chuckle whenever they appear onscreen.

I won't even get into the continuity errors, and just plain bad ideas, that saturate this film. Let's just say, that it lived up to all my fears...and created some new ones.

Paul Anderson has not made a movie for the fans. He's taken a beloved franchise, stripped it of it's soul, and marketed it to 10-year-old boys. I've liked many of his films and I've been defending him for years. I was even excited when he was announced as director, while most people groaned. But all the naysayers were right.

Out of all my brutal movie disappointments, this ranks a staunch #1.

Fuck you, Paul Anderson. I hope you rot in Hell.

Damn, that's harsh... The above reviewer might have gone a little too far as I've heard that Anderson is actually a really top-notch guy in person and might not deserve such venomous attacks despite his painfully mediocre-crappy movies. Uwe Boll on the other hand... I've seen the dude in person and he have seen his ego up close. That dude deserves everything he gets. Anyway, this is the last review and it's VERY SPOILER HEAVY, so beware.

Hi Harry-

Long time reader, first time reviewer. So here goes:

I work at a movie theater, and we usually 'check' the prints we get a few days before they open. Tonight, we all sat down and watched Alien vs. Predator.

Now let me say this first: I'm a big fan of the "so bad it's good" concept. I count among my favorite movies such classics as "Citizen Toxie" and "Troll 2." It's the ability of the "Nightmare on Elm Street" creators to not take themselves seriously that made the series such a success. "Freddy vs. Jason" - which is, I'm sure, part of the reason that AvP was made - was great entertainment, because almost every scene elicited a laugh (Kelly Rowland's nose, anyone?). This is what I was hoping for with AvP, because I knew there was no way Paul WS Anderson was going to pull of a legitimately good movie. All I wanted was to laugh out loud a few times.

Alas, it was not to be. AvP is, simply, hands-down terrible. It was, I can say, even worse than it looked to be when that first script started rolling around. To refresh your memory, the original script had the movie beginning with young Predators hunting Aliens in ancient South America. Something goes wrong, and there end up being a ridiculous number of aliens, and the predators blow themselves up. We cut to the present. I don't know about any of you, but I thought that'd have been relatively cool. Unfortunately, all of this does happen, but it's a little sidenote halfway through the movie and knowing about it beforehand actually made it quite terrible.

I'm going to go relatively deply into the plot, so there are some spoilers ahead. It begins with Lance Hendriksen's company discovering the temple in Antarctica. This is very exciting. We quickly are introduced to the main characters as a representative of Hendriksen's (that black guy who was rumored to be the next James Bond...I forget his name. I actually wouldn't mind seeing him as Bond) travels the globe recruiting people for an expedition. We get terrible little introductions that tell us nothing about anyone other than the fact that they're textbook b-movie characters. We start to get the feeling that Anderson really just wanted to get to the fighting as quickly as possible. The only ones of note are the courageous, strong female mountain climber and the sexy Italian archaeologist man.

We get to Antarctica, and that competing Bellocq-esque character from the original script isn't there. Nuts. Some forgettable stuff happens, and the team ends up going down a shaft to the temple that the Predator ship lasered through the ice. The predators land and kill some people. Despite sexy archaeologist's warnings, black James Bond takes some Predator guns out of a sarcophagus, and the team gets locked down in the temple. An alien queen gets unfrozen, and face-grabbers eventually surface to kill some more characters that I'm pretty sure we were supposed to know and love.

At this point, the fighting begins, and it's fantastically stupid. We see the aliens jumping around like ninjas, in full view, which completely eliminates the mystique that made "Alien" so good. And guess what, two of the three Predators get killed within 5 minutes. Then after another 10 or so, the only human left is Sanaa Lathan, the courageous climber lady. So, logically, she teams up with the last Predator to defeat the aliens. I finally laugh.

Here, there's a silly little scene in which the Predator rewards Sanaa Lathan's courage by making her an "honorary Predator." This, to me, was taking the incredibly cool ending of "Predator 2" and pissing all over it. I laughed here, and so did half of the other people in the theater.

Good Predator and Sanaa blow up the temple, and then have to fight the Alien Queen, who runs around like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park. They defeat her, but it costs the life of poor Good Predator. The Predator mothership shows up (or was it there all along?). Some Predators take away Good Predator's body, and their leader approaches Sanaa Lathan. When he sees that she's an Honorary Predator, he gives her his spear and leaves. After this moment, I don't think I'll ever be able to look at "Predator 2" the same way again.

We see Sanaa walking away triumphantly in plainclothes, not seeming to mind that it's frigging Antarctica, and we all feel very proud of her. But wait...we cut to the Predator ship, where Good Predator is lying on a table, dead. It's now that we remember that a face-grabber had gotten him earlier in the movie. Sure enough, out pops...well I'll let you see this one for yourself. It's absolutely ridiculous, and I don't want to ruin it. If you guess what it is, and then say to yourself "no, that can't be it, that's just stupid"...you have too much faith in Mr. Anderson. At this point, I get up and leave.

Yes, I've glossed over a whole lot, but honestly nothing else is worth mentioning. The movie is completely rushed, and it just plain sucks. It literally could have been 45 minutes long and been just as good. There isn't a memorable character, scene, quote, or death. The effects are reasonably good, but they're nothing new.

The Queen Alien is moderately cool...but she's not supposed to be a T-Rex, she's supposed to be a giant, disturbing, sedentary monster that does nothing but pop out eggs and drive Brad Dourif insane. The camaraderie between Good Predator and Sanaa Lathan is just insulting. Sanaa Lathan is not Danny Glover. Paul WS (what the hell does that stand for, anyway?) has taken one great series (well, except for the fourth one) and one pretty good series and combined them to create completely forgettable crap. It's a real shame, given that we've all been waiting so long for it. Will someone please, PLEASE make "Jaws vs. Chucky" now?

If you use this, call me Cappy Capulet.



Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 12, 2004, 6:10 a.m. CST

    Oh well, going to see it anyway... I hope Lil Bow Wow has a came

    by Judge Briggs

    I mean, why not? It can't be as bad as Catwoman? Why wasn't there a Grid talkback? Man that show was sweeeeeeeet. Anyone check out the Grid? Avoided a bunch of cliches and took punches at the audience. Intelligent too, made good points about terrorism and its nature. Here is one hoping for a second season. And Herc, was 4400 renewed or what???

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 6:19 a.m. CST

    What a jip

    by kingoflight

    This is going to be total trash by the second movie. This will not get better with the sequal if it happenes. Its very hard for it to happen, only latest movie was spiderman 2.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 7:03 a.m. CST

    "The Curse of PG13" or "How I took the guts out of AVP"

    by The Reef

    To remind ourselves, ladies and gentlemen, why we loved this franchise in the first place... It was really terrifying. Alien (and to a lesser extent Predator) movies were supposed to scare and entertain you, the haunted house theme, the pure animal v our morally corrupt selves, our fear of being hunted, the unknown etc. To take two franchises that should have meshed together perfectly (see the Dark Horse comics for proof of this) and then try and shoehorn the concept of two alien races fighting to the death into a PG13 film says a couple of things about the studio that allowed this. 1) The toy and shirt line must be very lucrative. 2) Studio execs spend money without fully understanding their investment (working out profit and loss on a calculator based on the performace of the last movies, factoring in the new target demographic and any additinal advertising costs doesn't count guys.). Honestly, anyone, if you were personally going to spend any substantial amount of cash on anything, wouldn't you at least find out the detail of what it was you were buying to see it it was really what you wanted. There are franchises of PG13 aliens out there for this kind of thing (Independance Day, MIB) so you can rake in the merchandising buck. This isn't it. Either do the franchise justice or realise that you'll never make any more money out of it (which is the name of the game after all), or do something I haven't seen in the film industry for a while, create an original idea so you can do what you like with it and nobody will be expecting anything different. You never know, you might get a sequel out of it...

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 7:36 a.m. CST

    So I guess this means..

    by JAGUART

    We should switch off our brain with a screwdriver because this film appeals to our inner mongoloid. Otherwise know as a good "Cake Flick".

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 7:43 a.m. CST

    who wanted this movie besides trashy WWF fans?

    by BurlIvesLeftNut

    The idea is dumb so of course the movie will be dumb. And the third (or fourth reviewer) is right... the Predators do look completely stupid. In the clip they released last week, a Predator looks like some fat stunt man inside the suit. Fucking lame to the nth degree. I love that term "dream rapist" though. HAHA.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 7:44 a.m. CST

    I am Jack's complete lack of surprise

    by phanboi

    Why oh why. I guess everybody deserves a second chance ... but Anderson crippeld way too many flicks. It's embarassing to see what he does with cool concepts. Why are there people who still trust in him? Does he blackmail the studios? Is he threatening the suits with suicide? I'm in tears

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Let me guess . . .

    by mascan

    The ending is an alien bursting out of the predator's chest . . . and it's got mandibles and dreadlocks just like the predator.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 8:12 a.m. CST

    AvP original script

    by Salamander

    I read Peter Briggs early script a a year or two ago and that was dam good. Cant remember if it was another planet or south america but it had a good predator in it - broken tusk i think was its name - suggest you read it if you can find it - far better by the sounds of it than this dribble. Shame really as this has probably put spells the end of the talks between ridley scott / james cameron regs. Alien 5 and the end of predator 3 Hope it dont but the big nob execs wont like it if this is a steaming pile of ... and doesnt' rake in the money...

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 8:14 a.m. CST

    As much as I hate to stick up for Anderson...

    by SonOfJorel

    ...word is that he turned in an "R" movie and Fox chopped it down to "PG-13" without even looking at it. You'd think they would have learned to just leave shit alone after Alien 3.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 8:23 a.m. CST

    jerks

    by koie

    Personally I hope this movie shits so bad at the boxoffice that it causes FOX to force layoffs, if not more. I hope it costs fucking jobs. This movie is so bad, they all deserve it for waving it in our faces.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Script

    by Salamander

    Should have looked for this first but found the earlier script i read (well a treatment of it if not the same one) here: http://www.scifiscripts.com/scripts/aliens_vs_predator.txt better read then watching 2 hours of crap i'm guessing althoguh most of us will watch it just to dis it which will line the studios pockets for the potential avp2... wonder who'd want to sit in THAT directors chair..

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 8:59 a.m. CST

    I hate to sound like a cliche, but...

    by mbaker

    "Paul Anderson raped my childhood, Brother!"

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:17 a.m. CST

    The WS stands for....

    by cockknocker

    Wank Shaft.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:20 a.m. CST

    "Hell, I even dug 'Alien 3' and 'Resurrection'

    by Jeditemple

    So, we're supposed to listen to some jackass reviewer that LIKED Aliens 3 and 4??? Those sequels blew chunks and I pretend that they never happened. This just proves to me that I'm going to like "AvP" because some fag reviewer hated it.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:29 a.m. CST

    I fucken KNEW IT

    by Rcamacho2278

    EVERYONE download this fucken movie and give paul anderson a big FUCK YOU for shitting all over the fans. fuck this movie. how hard is it to be imaginative. the aliens vs predator should have taken place in an alien planet, where you could see both species adapt for survival. this fucken hokey shit with pyramids is the stupidest shit I ever heard.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:30 a.m. CST

    I am pulling for this movie but it's starting to smell like ass

    by super Cucaracha

    like a fellow talkbacker said " Howard Stern was suppossed to get a free screening and all of a sudden the final print never got to New York "...I smell bullshit. Also, if I'm not mistaken, aren't the Predators suppossed to like warm weather? and if so...What the fuck are they doing in Antartica? BABBA BOOOEY!

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:40 a.m. CST

    WS is going to be up all night one day next year, uncontrollably

    by SmarkJobber

    It will be stiff competition to contend with, as "AVP" will have to duke it out against Pitof's "Catwoman," Keenan Ivory's "White Chicks," and Nick Hurran's "Little Black Book" also in the Best Film category...but WS is due. He's fuckin' due, dammit!

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Sammy says...

    by EvilSamNeill

    Good morning, wretches, and welcome to another installment of "When Movie Ushers Attack"! I'm your host, AICN's only OFFICIAL Studio Plant, EvilSamNeill...and I've got a few things to share. First off, thanks to the employees of chain movie theatres across the nation for donating your time and your words to promoting this movie for us. By intimating that "the whole theatre moaned" during a pre-screening for employees only, you've given the world something to think about...that Mr. Anderson is indeed trapped in a virtual reality not of his own creation...a place where time and space have no meaning and where people who make popcorn for a living get the chance to eviscerate his hard work in the space of a couple of grammatically retarded lines of email. Bravo, I say. Bravo. However, you do understand that this isn't the OTHER Mr. Anderson or even the OTHER Mr. Anderson we are talking about here, so myself and the rest of the discerning public will ignore your prattle and listen to a man from the Dallas Weekly Post who will give our movie 7 stars and five thumbs up after we grease his palm a bit. Try as you might, you cannot sully this. Oh, and in case you were wondering, during a casting call five years ago, Ewen Bremmer walked in on Demi Moore giving a golden shower to an unnamed producer. By projections, His debt should be paid in full in early 2006, where he will play Rosencranz in a yet-untitled Danny Boyle Shakespeare update. Be afraid. ESN out.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:49 a.m. CST

    EVENT HORIZON sucked

    by ScreamingPenis

    poor editing, making good actors act bad, crappy special effects, disconnected story. a suckfest. i'm still seeing AVP tomorrow, though.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Predator 2 wasn't that bad.

    by FluffyUnbound

    You have to surrender to its bizarrely comic LA universe [the shootout at the beginning, the commuters on the train who all have guns, the weird Mort Downey junior character, etc. etc.] but if you DO, it's a scream. And it's a very rare event in sci-fi - a movie where the last half is better than the first half. I could watch the final twenty minutes of that film forever and never get tired of it. So the Alien franchise may have been pre-raped by Resurrection, but the Predator franchise was reasonably intact [until now].

  • I can see him speaking into a camera like in his old anti-smoking campaign (or was it anti-drug?) saying, "Liking Event Horizon? I'm too smart for that." One website says that he got into trouble on the set of his TV show because he began "joking" a little too seriously that he was married to a 10 year old extra. Event Horizon was the most retarded movie ever before Batman and Robin came out.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 10:17 a.m. CST

    How fucking awfull

    by ogre55

    Like some of the reviewers, I have read the original comics and some of the ideas in the script were taken from those books. However, those books kept within the rules of the mythology and made it work. Sounds like one of the earlier scripts, the one with "Broken Tusk" was a direct adapation of one of the first, and the best, books. If the book where they "adapted" some of the ideas was a good slow fuck, the movie sounds like a fucking dry hump.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Yay! I can't wait for Uwe Boll to make "Alien vs Predator II" ("

    by SalvatoreGravano

    And Worthless Shit Anderscum could "executive produce" it. On the other hand, it's probably unlikely, since Boll doesn't like Anderscum (he thinks Anderson is a hack - heh, talk about a Nazi criticising a Klansman for being a racist! :D)

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 10:29 a.m. CST

    It's *Bruce* versus Chucky - that's the immortal shark's name.

    by SalvatoreGravano

    And Stephen Sommers with Ronny Yuk are making it right now!

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Hellraiser was a mediocre movie with a little bit of feitsh glos

    by mortsleam

    Event Horizon was a tepid remake of a mediocre movie with faint patina of sci-fi gloss. Quint's opinion is suspect. AvP should never have been made.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Is it necessary to say "Rot in Hell" to a filmmaker?

    by BigTuna

    It's a movie! Geeze. Let's not get carried away sparky. I'm sure god doesn't care if Anderson made AVP or not.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Is it necessary to say "Rot in Hell" to a filmmaker?

    by BigTuna

    It's a movie! Geeze. Let's not get carried away sparky. I'm sure god doesn't care if Anderson made AVP or not.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11 a.m. CST

    WHEW!!! Reviewers. - thank you!!! Now I know that I don't ha

    by Russman

    Keeping my $ in my pocket.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Bust him down to stuff like "Snow Dogs"

    by ewokstew

    I also don't understand why this chucklehead continues to get movies that could potentially be something very cool if done correctly. I will reserve full opinion until I go see it but I think it's safe to say that this will end up dissapointing on some level. I think David Fincher is somewhere laughing his tail off right about now. I saw the recently re-cut Alien 3 and with the exception of the horrible Boss Films effects (sucky alien rod puppet composites) I really enjoyed it. Waaaaay better than Resurrection. Now, I wonder if Mr. Fincher had actually been the one to re-cut it and not the studio?

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:07 a.m. CST

    Stop blaming the PG-13 rating already.

    by NiceMarmot

    Yeah, it should've been an R but let's look at the facts. It's a Paul W.S. Anderson film. His resume speaks for itself: Strike One. It's a comic-book movie. How can you have an R-rated film based on something that is targeted to 13 year olds, anyway?: Strike Two. It's a "vs" film. When's the last time one of those was any good? Yojimbo vs Zatoichi? I don't know, since I've never seen it, but it seems like a good bet. Hard to go wrong with Mifune (although Frankenheimer somehow managed it): Strike Three. It's an Alien/Predator movie. Hasn't been a good example of those since 1987. Maybe they need more governors in these films. I can see a team of Mario Cuomo, Jerry Browne, and Ann Richards kicking some extra-terrestrial keister: Strike Four.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:10 a.m. CST

    God.

    by ewokstew

    Here! Here! BigTuna. God could care less, I'm sure. But here at the talkback we have to review these things and hand out our opinions, that's why the talkback exists. Yeah, "Rot in Hell" is maybe a bit much, but I don't think the poster really meant it. (I don't think). Now, if only the actual film itself could be condemned to Hell. Heh, heh...

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:31 a.m. CST

    The W.S. stands for "Worth Shit", just like his movies!

    by Strabo

    Nothing more to say really, except a nice big FUCK YOU, COCKSUCKER, from me to you, Anderson. Please, NEVER MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE AGAIN. We could have had Cameron and Scott collaborating on Alien 5, but NOOOO. I had half considered seeing this just for Henriksen (got some nice warm-fuzzies for him after watching my Millennium boxed set this last week), but since he apparently dies early, I think I'll save myself the expense and just download it to see how crappy it is.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:38 a.m. CST

    More watered down bullshit from Hollywood.

    by RainJacket

    PG-13? I knew it. Why I'm learning this now a mere day before the opening of it means I need to pay more attention, but I just KNEW it was going to get hacked so the little kiddies can go to the theatre and annoy me with their stupid jokes and antics. Looks like I'm seeing this thing at 8 in the morning on a Monday. Anyway, now that it's not an R, I guess all the terror and horror protrayed by the originals will be gone. It's just gonna be another watered-down action vehicle where the aliens and predators only do their killing by lunging at the camera and having everything go black, or some shit like that. Though, honestly, R, NC-17, this thing was going to be a disgrace anyway. Of all the Alien/Predator movies made (6), only three were any good. Now it will be less than half after this thing. Predator was dead after the sequel, and Alien was dead after 3. It's just going to get worse.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Some other retarted spoilers!

    by Eye_H8_U

    Taken from IESB.net: Here are the highlights: -Lance Henriksen has a disease and is not expected to live for much longer, so he insists on going on this mission. -After arriving at the pyramid the humans find a Predator weapon that has been placed there for the Alien hunt. Not knowing what it is they take it with them. The Predators start hunting down the humans because they have the weapon. -The Predators do not want to kill Bishop because they sense that he is deathly sick. -Bishop can no longer run or walk so he tells the rest of the group to escape no matter what. -Bishop tries to distract the Predators so that the expedition team can escape. After tracking down a Predator, he is killed by one. He dies as a hero about two thirds of the way through. -There is an Alien Queen that has been chained up by the Predators to create hunting trophies. -Near the end, everyone is dead except for Alexa Woods (Sanaa Lathan) and one of the young Predators. -Alexa and the young Predator start working with each other to finish off the Aliens ( ahh...how cute, they become friends). -The Predator makes Alexa weapons and armor from an Alien corpse. They use the head as an armored helmet and a finger(s) as a spear of some kind. -The Alien Queen, the Predator and Alexa are fighting outside near a water tower of some kind near a cliff. -The Predator is killed after a battle with the Queen. -Alexa damages the base of the tower and attaches the chain that the Queen has around her neck to the tower. -Alexa manages to push the water tower into the freezing ocean plunging the Alien Queen along with the water tower. -More Predators finally arrive and start taking the bodies of the dead Predators. -A Predator confronts Alexa and gives her a Predator sword to show that she passed the ritual (ahh..how cute). -On the recently arriving and now departing Predator Space Ship you see the body of a dead young Predator laying on some kind of table when his chest burst open and an Alien pops out (didn't see that coming..cough, cough). The End...Can we say Sequel?!?! -----Predators and human working together? Xenomorph armor? WTF? Did someone put crack in my beer? Oh no you didn't Anderson!!!!

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Dont believe one fucking thing

    by Falcon5768

    Sept the first guy.... I have seen parts of the movie, and while yes there really is no stand out stars (and apparently he didnt WANT any, he wanted the cast to be unknown so we focused on the creatures) the rest is actually pretty good. The effects are great... there was very little CGI work, and it shows... you just cant make a good movie without having real effects... The only crappy CGI was the face hugger splitting scene but who cared... we saw a Pred cut a face hugger in TWO!. The sets are very clausterphobic... you get a feeling back to Alien... sept here they open and close and change at will.. most cases trapping the characters. The story on the plot is that the Pred's have a soft spot for us humans, they hunt us, but feel that we are one of the few races in the universe worthy of a true challenge. We arnt mindless. Its because of this they help us advance so that they have a truly challanging prey. The temple is actually a training ground for YOUNG predators... which is why they have limited arms, and have to make due on their own without weapons sometimes.... only the ones who live make it. the dialog has a lot to be asking for, and yes some of the plot is a little stale, but in reality its back page to the fights between the aliens and predators... Was it masterpiece cinima... not in the slightest.... was it the worst movie ever, no it was adverage, but its a fanboys wet dream.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 12:20 p.m. CST

    "honorary Predator"

    by PushTheButton

    Wow, i never thought they could go THAT stupid.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Now hold on a minute!

    by winstonrifles

    Alien 3 is very good. Ok so it's no Alien or Aliens, but it is a worthy addition to the series. It's not fair to call it a train wreck and blame Fincher. Considering David Fincher was given less controll of the film then the Head Corener at the Kenedey autopsy, i think it turned out quite good. And Ressurection has some truly great moments. It looks fantastic. It feels good. Delicatessen in space! With Xenomorphs! ------------------------ www.billmurray.co.uk

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Everyone saw this coming

    by AlwaysThere

    It's PG-13 bullshit now and I loathe the jackasses continue to spin the rating change as a good thing or something that will work. All the AvP defenders out there will get their comeuppance when they blow 8 bucks on it tomorrow.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Well, it certainly sounds as if Anderson has invented a new flav

    by Childe Roland

    ...for us to sample here, and that's really too bad. I held out some hope for this picture because, like Quint and a few of you here, I beleive Anderson is capable of turning in a journeyman horror/action film. I liked Event Horizon despite the unoriginality (actually I like to watch that after Hellraiser 1 & 2, which I put in the same quality bracket, and pretend that Anderson was just making a sequel) and I still enjoy Resident Evil as a Saturday afternoon zombie flick. But making AVP rated PG-13 was a huge mistake. It eliminates the possibility of the fights being worth watching and, since we knew the movie wasn't going to soar on its plot or acting merits (its a versus film featuring a bunch of unknowns) there really isn't any point in watching it anymore. I'd be interested to check out a Director's Cut DVD sometime down the road if what some folks have said is true and the studio is responsible for the rating. A fully gored up version of the flick described above would be at least as worthy of my attention as a 10 p.m. showing of Death Machine on the Sci Fi channel (which I watched two nights ago). How could the guy who gave us such a gratuitous crotch shot of Milla at the end of Resident Evil pan away from a chest-burster? Sad. Just sad.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 1:12 p.m. CST

    Yes, but will someone make "Stalin versus Predator"?

    by MrVess

    The ultimate confrontation between the Man of (Red) Steel and the most ruthless of all galactic hunters. I have a draft script and would love to pitch it.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 1:24 p.m. CST

    So... "freezing cold water" kills a creature that had no apparen

    by SalvatoreGravano

    That's nice. Go, WS. Isn't it depressing that Jerry Goldsmith and Fay Wray die but Worthless Shit Anderson lives?

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 1:28 p.m. CST

    P.W.S.A.N.D.E.R.S.O.N....what does it stand for......

    by Doc Cock

    .....Paul Wants Shagged Analy Now Dreadful Entertainment Releases Soiled Our Nation........come on someone must be able to do better than that????????

  • Harry animated his latest exploits w/ a crackwhore hooker. Did you give him/her a snorkle when they were under your fatass?

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 1:32 p.m. CST

    On the last review

    by Jethz

    So we have to go with a review of someone who: 1. believes that they will cast a black guy as James Bond. 2. calls facehuggers face-grabbers. (Get the terminology right brother) 3. calls the Alien queen a sedentary monster that just sits around and lays eggs. (Someone has been missing out on Aliens I guess) From what I read in the reviews humans will team up with predators to fight aliens. So what else is new? It's been done in basically every Aliens vs Predator comic, so don't come whining that it doesn't follow the mythology of all what has been made before in the Alien & Predator franchise (movies, comics, the lot).

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 1:42 p.m. CST

    This Movie DOES suck

    by Molsonboy2000

    I saw this last night and let me say- Aliens acted like raptors from JP-the Predators All looklike shit (even the adults look short and stocky) Avoid this Movie!!! and while youre at it avoid The Manchurian Candidate man did it suck!

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 2:32 p.m. CST

    Once again, it can't be worse than Alien 3 and 4...

    by Lord_Soth

    And yes! That new Harry animation is an insult!!!

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 2:56 p.m. CST

    The most telling sign that this thing's gonna suck donkey balls.

    by Eye_H8_U

    This movie is supposed to released tommorrow and there is still not one official movie review posted anywhere. Nothing Nada Zilch on Rotten Tomatoes. What are you hiding from us Fox? Does it suck that bad?

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 3:19 p.m. CST

    _event horizon_ is...

    by duanejones

    ..._solaris_ meets _stargate_. the one with the she-he from _crying game_, not the one with mcgyver. don't believe anyone who tells you that it's good. they're mistaken. it's bad. that said, i'll watch joely richardson in anything, preferably unclothed...

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Paul W(ILL) S(UCK) ANDERSON -NT

    by Babba-Booey

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 3:43 p.m. CST

    P.W.S.A.N.D.E.R.S.O.N.

    by user id indeed!

    Please, Will Someone Ask No-good Director to Either Retire Soon or Now?

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 4:09 p.m. CST

    "I felt it made the Predators look a bit weak in the face of the

    by nightwatchman

    All will kneel in abject horror at the throne of the chitinous queen.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 4:25 p.m. CST

    Fake.

    by Senzafine

    The earliest screening I've heard on this film was 7PM EST tonight, one which I will be going to, and considering this site has posted bogus reviews on this movie more than once, yeah. And I think I'd rather wait to see this movie for myself rather than hear that it sucks from some random Joe who more than likely takes any anti-Anderson post as gospel.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Jethz-

    by cptrios

    Pierce Brosnan has actually come out and said he wants that black guy to be the next James Bond.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 4:40 p.m. CST

    FAT MAN IN SUIT! FAT MAN IN SUIT!

    by Christopher3

    "Unstoppable shithead" is right. How is this guy still working?

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 5 p.m. CST

    I'm going to assume these people are just cynical asshats...

    by tango fett

    ...and see the movie anyway. I think it looks pretty spiffy anyway, but I'm a sucker for such things. As for that animation thing in the corner...I'd think Mr. Mcweeny would object to putting that on the site...unless he likes sucking Harry's ass inside out. Cheerio

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 5:09 p.m. CST

    P.W.A..N.D.E.R.S.ON.

    by Eye_H8_U

    Pussy Who Always Narcisistically Delivers Extra Retarted Shit Opening Night!

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 5:24 p.m. CST

    animation in the corner

    by cyberskunk

    It's not actually new, it was made in response to sex acts being obscured by digitally adding in figures in the theatrical release of "Eyes Wide Shut". Now to be more topical, I will remark that I wish Ridley Scott had filmed another movie about alien cultures. So much to work with.. showing the race that was using them as bioweaponry etc.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 5:29 p.m. CST

    Why the studios are retarded...

    by Hamish

    Ok, so I saw Aliens in 88, on video, and I was 11 or 12. It quickly became one of my alltime faves, and I hadn't even seen Alien. Then Predator came out about the same time (details a bit hazy - long time ago now) and I loved that too. Both films have had excessive repeat viewings over the years, and I even dragged myself along to the sequels in the hope of having something else to add to the legacy of such great films. So that's the background. Now I'm 28, and this is nostalgia for me. I don't have to care about an R rating cause it hasn't stopped me from seeing a film in years - I can't remember the last time. So, I imagine most Alien and Predator fans out there are like me - fond memories from the good films way back when. Now the kicker: DOESN'T THIS MAKE ME THE TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC? COS I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THESE FRANCHISES! I want the coolest film I can get, and that means no punches pulled. If studios want my dollar, they have to stop aiming everything at LCD teens.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Sex Scene???

    by Aetius450

    Does the Predator and the female mountain climber get it on? I don't see why not if this thing is really as bad as these reviews suggest. I've never read any of the source material for this, but it seems like an interesting concept, though ideally each franchise could be revived separately. Unfortunately too much time has passed to simply pull a Dallas and pretend the last two Alien movies never happened. And Danny Glover is no Arnold, and its not as if the Predator movies achieved some exalted status with the general public. So combining the two may have been a good idea from at least a marketing standpoint, but man it sure does sound like it sucks. Clearly the Predators should be able to easily handle an Alien one on one like a lion against a hyena. And having watched that fight clip that Fox releases; well that Predator looks like he's overweight or something. And if they were going to insist on teaming the Predator up with a human then it should be with an Arnold-type; someone who you can accept as worthy of the Predator's respect.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 5:44 p.m. CST

    I'll see it because the ticket's free...

    by DarthCorleone

    ...courtesy of the new Predator DVD. But this certainly doesn't bode well. I'll wait before passing judgment, but I have a feeling that this movie might have been better with absolutely no dialogue and no humans and only depicting an Aliens vs. Predators free-for-all. What's the coolest scene in the original King Kong? Kong vs. T-Rex. What was the biggest problem with Jurassic Park 3? The much touted battle between Spinosaurus and T-Rex lasted no more than a minute -- if that. Imagine a film that developed its characters without a word -- only the characteristic hiss of the Alien, the evil self-destructive chortle of a Predator, the defensive posture of a Queen in response to a threat on her eggs, the defiant removal of armor by a Predator challenged by a particularly pesky enemy, etc. It would take a lot of imagination and not all viewers would be down with it, but that's a movie I'd pay to see.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 6:02 p.m. CST

    If you don't think it can be worse than Alien 3 and 4, you obvio

    by mwhelan67

    The man is given projects that should practically direct themselves and still manages to ruin them. Case in point, Resident Evil: What makes the game a success? Atmosphere. What does he give us? a film so devoid of atmosphere that it's pitiful. He's a hack, he will always be a hack, I hope this film finally puts a bullet between the eyes of his miserable, talentless, career.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 6:12 p.m. CST

    What I'm wondering is down Paul WS Anderson actually *watch* the

    by timmer33

    I loved EVENT HORIZON, but I can't believe the rest of the crap this guy has made. How the hell did he land this job? He's gonna be the guy known for destroying TWO famous franchises in a single blow. Unfreaking believable.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 6:35 p.m. CST

    i will join the chorus of voices that says Event Horizon sucked

    by Jack the Lad

    that's all

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 6:37 p.m. CST

    apparently, anyone who expects quality

    by joe brady

    in a film, anyone who wants more from a cinematic experience than just some cool fights and explosions, is a "faggot". Way to go, fellas. The fact that people like you are defending this piece of trash is reason enough not to see it.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Have you seen "Face Off"?

    by zinc_chameleon

    Maybe the rest of this movie is low-budget Creature Feature, but the clip Face Off is a glorious comic-book classic. It seems Paul can get it right, but only in small doses. And Grill Face is a bully, just like I said, and not much of a warrior.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 7:16 p.m. CST

    "Holy Moses does AvP appear to blow huge, slimy chunks!!!" ..sni

    by Immortal_Fish

    Of course you are. AICN is as objective as the New York Times.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 7:39 p.m. CST

    What's sad is...

    by JackBristow

    ...this movie will be chewed alive, Fox will declare both franchises to be dead, and we'll never get our Ridley Scott/James Cameron combination for Alien 5, which would be the greatest story ever told.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 8:20 p.m. CST

    P. W. A.N.D.E.R.S.O.N

    by ol' painless

    Prick Without Any Noticeable Directing Expertise Recklessly Shits On Nerds!

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Alien vs Predator;I have seen it.

    by Soul_Fly

    For the past few years I have seen this movie. It seems this Alien invaded a country to destroy the predators, but no one cares. So the Predators called up two newer Predators who really enjoy each other's company. One fought in a deadly war and got these medals, but gave them away because he was so modest. But the Alien is a fierce competetor and he will fight agaonst the Predators and this so-called great Warror predator one last time to become the Master of a free country. I don't know who will win, but I can't wait to see this show down come to an end.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:05 p.m. CST

    Alien vs Predator;I have seen it.

    by Soul_Fly

    For the past few years I have seen this movie. It seems this Alien invaded a country to destroy the predators, but no one cares. So the Predators called up two newer Predators who really enjoy each other's company. One fought in a deadly war and got these medals, but gave them away because he was so modest. But the Alien is a fierce competetor and he will fight agaonst the Predators and this so-called great Warror predator one last time to become the Master of a free country. I don't know who will win, but I can't wait to see this show down come to an end.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:06 p.m. CST

    That Mori/Harry 69 gif is disturbing (nt)

    by E.C.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:17 p.m. CST

    If we're choosing sides...

    by FrankDrebin

    I thought EVENT HORIZON looked good, but had no plot (the ship's evil; everyone dies) and ALIEN RESURRECTION was good except for that last horrible half hour (especially the design for the hybrid)... That comment in the review about how the aliens instantly go from hatchling to fully-grown is something that's bothered me from the first ALIEN. I would rather have seen the Nostromo crew go back into hybernation, have the alien hatch inside Hurt's cryo-tube, then have "junior" crack open other cryo-tubes for snacks as it gradually got bigger... Also, attention escape pod pilots, if you get a warning light on the cargo bay hatch (ALIEN 2&3), don't just say, "It's probably nothing."

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:21 p.m. CST

    Short and stocky my ASS

    by Falcon5768

    They towered over the cast.. dude the suits in RL where 8 feet tall, and they look it on screen Half you asswhipes probably never even SAW the movie

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:22 p.m. CST

    Is anyone sure these reviews are even real?

    by Key_Card

    AICN has already been tricked because they hate the guy and are just waiting to print ANYTHING to prove the points they have so eloquently made. I love it when they trash everything the guys has done saying he's a hack, doesn't know what he's doing, takes a perfect scipt and murders it, etc. etc. etc. Then out of the other face they say they want this guy to succeed. Lick balls.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 9:26 p.m. CST

    What does the W.S. stand for?

    by TimBenzedrine

    "Whore Supreme"

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 10:49 p.m. CST

    AVP was actually Anderson Vs Fox. Fox cheaped out on him, SouthF

    by Regicidal_Maniac

    Here's the link:(with spaces so it doesn't stretch the page): http://www.southflorida.com/movies/ sfe-avpadvance11,0,5739539.story? coll=sfe-movies-headlines Here is a snippet: "Although the studio downplays the issue, Fox initially didn't want to spend much more than $40 million on the movie, which Anderson and Davis thought would be ruinously cheap... The production budget climbed toward $70 million

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:11 p.m. CST

    Sounds good enough for me

    by Cabron

    What did you expect? Gone with the Wind?

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:13 p.m. CST

    So I guess the alien Wins. Good.

    by TheGinger Twit

    I see it has the crap factor turned up to 11 but some of the spoilers these guys are saying kinda make it all seem like a lookin.

  • Aug. 12, 2004, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Lance Henriksen hosted a half hour preview on Fox-TV tonight.

    by FrankDrebin

    I'm sure it'll be on the dvd (maybe not the Special Edition, or the Ultimate Edition six months later, but probably the Supreme Edition released just before AVP2). There was also a promo for the MILLENNIUM box set.

  • Aug. 13, 2004, 12:34 a.m. CST

    Well, I'll be seeing it for free...

    by Rein

    thanks to the coupon that came with the Predator:SE DVD, so I won't have to add to it's boxoffice. FOX, with its cancellation of FireFly, Tick, Futurama, Family Guy etc... and now this just goes to show that they don't give a shit about quality in the slightest.

  • Aug. 13, 2004, 1:13 a.m. CST

    How AvP should have been written...

    by FargoUT

    It seems rather obvious to me as to how an "Alien vs. Predator" movie should have been workable. The pyramid thing is ridiculous. Here's what should have been the story: open in space, a vessel floats silently towards Earth. NASA (or the sci-fi equivalent) tries to contact the ship to no avail. The ship proceeds on auto-pilot and crash lands in the middle of a jungle. Inside, aliens have been born and now free from their mechanical tomb. Only one problem--the predators are on the lose. Predators, being insanely territorial, decide to combat the intruders, quickly learning that these creatures are more formidable opponents than originally thought. NASA crews are sent to investigate the crash site only to become entangled in the war between predators and aliens (and becoming fodder to breed more aliens). Now, maybe I'm a dweeb, but this seems to be a pretty tight concept. It doesn't trample on the mythologies of either the "Alien" or "Predator" series. What's with this temple underground nonsense?

  • Aug. 13, 2004, 1:24 a.m. CST

    I've hated Hollywood and suits for a while and this is just anot

    by andrew coleman

    Thank god for Freddy vs. Jason which now I consider a classic since it had the balls to be R and have sex in it. This being a pg-13 piece of crap will suck thank god I bought the Predator dvd and got the movie bucks so I'll see this for free. Man I love Thomas Jane and the people who made Punisher simply because they made that movie R and if they make sequels I hope those will be R avoid AVP and wait for it to be on HBO in like three months

  • Aug. 13, 2004, 4:09 a.m. CST

    FargoUT

    by DocPazuzu

    Actually, your idea does trample all over the A & P canon, at least a bit. According to the novels and comics, predators have been using aliens for training and rituals for millennia. They plant an infestation, let it grow, and then swoop in for some asskicking. Predators have been breeding them for ages, although it's never determined whether they happened to discover them sometime in antiquity, or actually are the bioengineers of that species.

  • Aug. 13, 2004, 4:32 a.m. CST

    cptrios

    by Jethz

    How much do you think Brosnan has to say in the casting of the new James Bond ? :)

  • Aug. 13, 2004, 5:07 a.m. CST

    Hate to pile on, but a guy at work saw it last night, and said i

    by The Founder

    I really was hoping for this movie to be great, but that PG13 did send a red flag up to me. Thoses @sswipes at FOX has managed to sink two franchises at once, Now that's something Wb hadn't pulled off. I fear for future Xmen films.

  • Aug. 13, 2004, 5:13 a.m. CST

    I saw the movie tonight

    by RickandAbby

    Am I the last person that goes to see a movie to be entertained? I think so. I saw it tonight and I was entertained. Yes it is not original material, but it was still entertaining. It was a great summer action flick that had a few surprises and well welcomed new ideas. I read reviews where people said you don't get attached to the characters and makes their deaths less important. I disagree. I got attached to the dude that had the kids and was camera happy. I got attached to the Italian archeologist. Was it better then some of the ALien movies? Yes. Can "Lex" carry the movie? Yes, as long as it has both serpents and hunters. As a fan of the original comic, I am glad it followed the same formula. It looked good on the screen. If I were to meet Anderson, I would shake his hand and say thanks for making a great movie. I have been looking forward to it for years and I left the theater very happy. What I see here in this article and talk back are people bitching about the movie like people did with another long awaited flick. The Phantom Menace. Get over it. Its just a movie and be happy it was made. What is wrong with gratitude?

  • Aug. 13, 2004, 4:18 p.m. CST

    Just saw it and it's incredibly good

    by Jeditemple

    It's worth seeing...so go see it.

  • Aug. 14, 2004, 2:10 a.m. CST

    This movie will make HOUSE PARTY look like HOUSE PARTY 3!!!

    by Eugene O

    Honest.

  • Aug. 14, 2004, 5:39 p.m. CST

    I its way better than Alien 3 & 4!

    by Norm3

    I think Alien 3 & 4 suck. I liked A vs P.

  • Aug. 14, 2004, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Reviewer

    by WoodyStiffer

    Well... the second reviewer was such a huge fan of the Alien franchise that WS supposedly shit on... that he thinks the face hugger to alien chest burster takes days? What fucking film did that happen in? It's always happened in hours. Apparently this shithead doesn't seem to know much about the franchise either. I still think this whole movie is a stupid idea. One on one a predator vs an alien is no contest. Humans have taken out Aliens with normal weapons. The predators are light years better equipped than humans, are stronger, etc, etc. Just a dumb matchup.

  • Aug. 14, 2004, 8:30 p.m. CST

    WS Anderson...

    by WoodyStiffer

    ...has made some bad films. But his worst is FAR, FAR better than some AICN favorites - Such as Robert Rodriguez, Stephen Sommers, and Kevin Smith (Smith can write, but he has absolutely no ability as a director).

  • Aug. 14, 2004, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Hallowed Predator

    by WoodyStiffer

    The only film in the ENTIRE two franchises that was a pure gem was ALIEN (this was Ridley in his pantheon phase with ALIEN and Blade Runner back to back). That was it! One SINGLE FILM. After that, the ALIEN franchise was made up of inferior sequels. Let's be honest, Predator was a low budget shlocky action/thriller that turned out to be halfway decent, but it had more than it's fair share of stupid fucking cringe inducing moments: "Whazza matta Dillon? SEEAHHYAAA got you pushing doo many pehnzils?" or how about "Steeck Around!" - that's just to name a few.

  • Aug. 15, 2004, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Personal Attacks

    by WoodyStiffer

    How messed up are some of the people on these talkbacks? This movie may suck ass. It may be the worst film ever put on celluloid. Yet, we have basement losers screaming "BURN IN HELL", "DIE PAUL ANDERSON". What the fuck is up with you losers? It's okay to attack the film ad nauseum, but wishing harm on a guy who directed a film? What is up with the PERSONAL attacks? You freaks have some issues.... and the majority don't realize (and AICN doesn't seem to fucking acknowledge this either) that the studio most likely had a HUGE hand in guaranteeing that this film wound up with a PG13 rating. Do you stupid, deluded fucks really think that a filmmaker would go out of his way to make a PG13 movie (when the source material called for 'R')? ALL filmmakers want to make the film the right way. IT IS ALWAYS THE SUITS WHO MAKE THE CUTS IN ORDER TO MAKE THE MOST MONEY - QUALITY BE DAMNED. Cuts that guarantee a preferential rating ARE ALWAYS DONE BY THE STUDIO (that was done in caps in case you dipshits missed it). I always end up defending WS as I think the amount of vitriol Harry and Co. throw his way has ALOT more to do with something that's happened behind the scenes than it does with Paul's movies (to sum it up for the dumb fucks - yes, he's made alot of shitty movies, but Harry and Co. don't spend nearly as much time shitting on other directors who've turned out really bad films). Harry, Moriarty, Quint, et al. I'm calling you fucks out! You back filmmakers that make films that are much worse than PWSA's films. Why don't you tell your audience what it is you have against the guy? I'm sorry, but after watching you guys back the latest Kevin Smith shitfest... or the latest Robert Rodriguez crapfest... or the latest Stephen Sommers ABSOLUTE SHITFEST... you guys go out of your way to dump on PWSA.... I just think there's more to this story than you're telling your audience. You glowingly review the latest crappy movie written by David Goyer (read Blade 2 and possibly MORE SHITTY BLADE MOVIES), yet you go to extremes to denounce what PWSA has done (To the retards who don't understand what I'm saying - I'm not saying he's an amazing director, but he's certainly not worthy of the incredible derision he gets on this site while other lesser directors receive praise).

  • Aug. 15, 2004, 12:35 a.m. CST

    One More Thought

    by WoodyStiffer

    I absolutely cannot wait until Harry or Moriarty's movies are hacked to pieces by execs wanting a certain rating from the MPAA. OR... the screenplays for their films are hacked to pieces when someone gets their hands on them. These guys will finally learn what it feels like to be a victimized filmmaker. One one who has been attacked before his WORK IS FUCKING READY TO BE SEEN! I previously worked at a company that AICN has already done this to... I absolutely cannot wait for it to happen to these retards. Now... they can go from being fanboys to... "assholes who make shitty movies". It's going to be a delight watching every other AICN clone website (AND THE TALKBACKERS HERE) ripping apart these guys' movies before they're even made or finished or tested.... I'm going to FUCKING LOVE THIS! They'll start to realize what a fucked up thing they've been doing all along... and it will be at their own expense.... THEN!!! The most beautiful thing will happen (or so I hope)... The studio will say we need a lower rating!... They'll have to cut even MORE out of an already tame and shitty movie to get to the rating that the financiers deem is apropriate to get a return on their investment. Harry and McfuckingWEENYBITCH... welcome to Hollywood! I'll be the first person posting when the first sneak peeks of anything from YOUR creative efforts hits the internet (just a simple note: in case you think you can keep anything a secret... people are dying to make you dudes look like chumps... much the same way Hollywood tamed Paulene Kael back in the '70's). Mind you... I only had one indie feature attacked by your site... Imagine the motivation behind any exec that has had multiple films attacked by you guys... Good luck when the... SHITTY COMPANY THAT IS REVOLUTION... starts developing your projects in earnest... (before you delete my account... read this post in earnest. you'll understand it once a creative endeavor you have a stake in is attacked - OH, I CAN'T WAIT!!!!).

  • Aug. 15, 2004, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Interesting...

    by Anton_Sirius

    ...that with all the die-hard fans of the original movies exclaiming how they have every frame of every Alien film memorized, only one TB'er bothers to mention that Lance Henriksen's character's name is 'Bishop', and that person didn't seem to get the reference. You'll forgive me for thinking the whole lot of you are poseurs.

  • Aug. 17, 2004, 4:09 p.m. CST

    whining fanboy wankers

    by SCYTHEOFLUNA

    You people expect way too much from movies. The fuckin' crybabies throwing a hissy-fit over this movie convinced themselves they wouldn't like it. If you hate Paul Anderson, don't go see his movies. I personally liked Event Horizon, and Resident Evil. I wouldn't say that either is the crown jewel of my DVD collection but they were not the wretched pieces of shit that all you nerds seem to think they were. The problem is that you all take this stuff way too seriously. Sure, we all would have liked to have seen Earth War developed as a film instead Alien ressurection, And I wish that they had used the comics as the basis for AVP. Oh well you don't always get what you want. I didn't want the Crow sequels to suck either but guess what? tough shit. Why do you fuckers bother even going to the movies? All you do is bitch and whine. Nothing is ever going to give you the chills that the original Alien caused. The Predator will never be creepier than when you first saw him rip a glistening spine from a victim. You just can't realistically expect this film to have the same effect. And the gripes about the acting? Who gives a shit. The movie is called ALIENS VS. PREDATOR, the humans are only there to be killed off. If you are looking for serious dramatic performances, go rent Cold Mountain or some other "Handjob for the Academy picture" AVP is an action flick. If you are in the theatre expecting more than the priviledge of watching these two fictional creatures duke it out then you are in the wrong theatre. If you are hell bent on character development then you are in the wrong theatre. Go watch the Notebook. If you can't just be happy that the movie finally got made then you need to get a life and lower your expectations. Basically, nothing the studio did would have pleased everyone. And you lame ass net nerds don't seem capable of being pleased. None of you ever like anything ever, and think that it's vital that you share your constant nagging displeasure with everyone you come into contact with. Anytime fans have waited for a film for this long the pathetic fanboys are bound to be found in abundance, bitching and griping and trying to pick apart the effects and trying to find all the flaws. The sets aren't real the creatures aren't real, it's all done with camera tricks and Computer graphics and none of those people are who they said they are. The monsters are puppets and or computer models NONE OF IT IS REAL. that's why you have to use your imagination. (I know you remember learning about that on sesame street) If you can't suspend your disbelief and turn off your "internal film critic" then why bother going to the movies at all? You aren't going to enjoy the movie anyway. Save your money and us the hassle of having to read through your whining. And get over yourselves. You aren't Ebert and Roeper. You don't know shit!

  • Aug. 21, 2004, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Missing The Point

    by dvdbob

    Anyone who gives this movie a positive review, is missing the point. I saw AVP and while I didn't hate it, I didn't like it either. It is just another mediocre hollywood movie! 2 Years from now the AVP dvd will be collecting dust on video store shelves nationwide along with movies like Van Helsing, I Robot and maybe even Spiderman 2. In almost every positive review of AVP there are also many negative comments. I don't know about you but I demand more for my hard earned $7.50 ($11.00 in NYC) than "I liked it but....." By showing your support for AVP you are just convincing Hollywood to make more and more mindless, boring and mediocre films. The acting is AVP is Horrible and they way the f***ed with the Alien life cycle is unforgivable! This and the fact that Fox cut the movie to pieces AND gave it a PG-13 rating reminds me that if you can't do something right the first time, DON'T DO IT AT ALL! Now we all have to wait for the DVD to see the "R-Rated Director's Cut" which may or may not be better than the theatrical version. What a joke! If Fox wants to cut movies all to hell and ruin director's visions, maybe they should step in and take control away from George Lucas and make a GOOD Star Wars movie. That's just my opinion though. To quote C3PO in Episode II, "What a drag".