Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
This one tends to divide audiences. I admire the obvious filmmaking skill of the director, but I thought the film’s third-act left turn was such massive bullshit that it pretty much ruined it for me. Still, I’m curious to see what he’s up to next. I think he could turn into one hell of a horror director.
We’ve got a couple of very, very different reviews from the Seattle Film Festival for you today. Here’s the first one:
Greetings and salutations...
Felt the need to write in after attending the Seattle International Film Festival's screening of 'Haute Tension'.
Roughly translated: "High Tension".
Yeah, it's a French horror film that a lot of people have been shitting their pants over on the net and I'm here to offer up a very sincere review from a very sincere horror fan.
This movie is a french-fried piece of shit. If you thought the ol' froggies did enough by raping the Alien franchise--think again. I hope this isn't a trend that picks up for the horror genre because we're all in for a long, hard eye-fucking if that's the case.
Now I dare any AICN readers to watch this film and not find it a complete and blatant rip-off of a little piece of shit Dean Koontz novel called 'Intensity'. OK, if you don't read they made and equally turd-eriffic mini-series of the same name that starred that dude from 'Office Space' that was way to proud of celebrating Michael Bolton's entire catalogue. Anyway, 'Haute Tension' is 'Intensity'.
The movie opens up with a chick, sitting in what appears to be a mental hospitalI'll admit, the movie had me interested.
Now, after the credits we are introduced to two French chicks driving in the countryside and singing to really bad French music. One of the girls looks like the ugly chick Broderick has a hard-on for in 'Election'but the movie was still kicking my ass.
After some exposition, followed by some exposition--and even a scene with some exposition... night falls and shit goes down. Creeper car rolls up in the middle of the night, dude gets out, dude commences to massacre the entire family Italian-Giallo style in a bronze Michael Myers jumpsuit. AWESOME. I can't remember the last time I brought my hands to my face in shear shock and disgust (well, maybe every time I have to watch fuckin' NBC's 'The Twenty). But seriously kids, HIGH TENSION for all and I can't imagine any horror fan who wouldn't be euphoric through this sequence.
So, dude kills all save one chick who he ties up in chainsand she ends up in the back of the Creeper-Mobile unbeknownst to Michael Myers wannabe guy.
Guys, this movie is rockin and rollin' even though everything to this point is pretty much ripped off from Koontz. They just decided to make the big bad a plumber instead of a cop and give him the Jeepers Creepers car instead of a motorhome. Please, read the first 100 pages of that book and you'll see. Maybe the French don't read Koontz--that's how it was easy for heir director to plaigarize so easily.
Fuck, now this is where the travesty takes placeI'm gonna fucking go ape.
This movie is the ultimate insult. Yes, kids...there's a nifty trick ending that will have all of you so SURPRISED AND SHOCKED!!!!! Oh my god, you mean Bruce Willlis was fucking dead the whole time?! Nicole Kidman and her mutant children were the ones doing the haunting?! Pee'Wee's bike really WASN'T in the basement of the Alamo?! I'll tell ya, this movie sells out so hard and easily that you can actually feel yourself being kicked in the balls. This movie does a 180 with a vengeance that I have never experienced before--with what at one moment felt like a truly terriffic addition to horror history became a steaming pile of hack-shit in the blink of an eye. It was actually an incredible sight to behold.
Now I know that all the gore-hounds will try and forgive it for this because I gota tell ya, this movie is packed to the fucking gills with gore. The effects were created by the Italian dude who made some of Argento's flicks so memorable. But don't listen to the bullshit. The amazing first half cannot be redeamed by the travesty that is the final reveal. It was as if the director suddenly realized he was creating something too good (which, at its source was still a rip... but what isn't) that he had to then reach into his bag of unoriginal ideas and throw together scenes from classics like 'Texas Chainsaw' and 'Evil Dead'... to no avail whatsoever.
FUCK!!!!!! It's so goddamn frustrating and I know that any of you out there with half a brain or half a respect for the horror genre will agree that this movie is insulting to your cranium. Save your cash and wait it out--something is bound to spring up that kicks our ass again and reminds us of why we love this fucking genre so much.
-Patient of Miskatonic University.
I understand his frustration. I really do. The film’s got such a strong start, and there are moment of genuinely transgressive beauty that make you root for the film if you’re a fan of the genre. But I agree... twist endings pretty much blow, especially if they feel like a cop-out. Our next reviewer seems to have really enjoyed himself with the movie, but he didn’t like ZATOICHI, so I don’t know how much I could trust him. See what you think:
After the deadly dull comatosia of ZATOICHI, with its computer generated blood-letting and endless scenes of gambling and anticlimactic showdowns (I'm not being hard, trust me; it's boring), on Friday night, I needed something to wake up. Luckily, there was a midnight showing of Alexandre Aja's HAUTE TENSION over at The Egyptian. Unlike the midnight screening, same venue, of CABIN FEVER at last year's fest, which I thought was campy and fun up to a point, this film delivers remarkably. I wouldn't recommend eating, beforehand.
Alex (Maiwen Le Besco) and Marie (Cecile Le France) hit the road to visit Alex's family, and study for finals. Her parents live on a farm which seems to sit cornfields and cornfields out in the middle of nowhere. A perfect setting for tragedy. Alex and Marie aren't lovers, but could be. Marie wants her, clearly, and the male in me would like to have seen this brought to fruition. But, that would be a different movie. So, after a brief smoke break outside where Marie watches Alex shower, we're off.
HAUTE TENSION has a scene that played on my childhood fears: it's late at night, everyone's in bed, and suddenly the doorbell is buzzing. There's just something innately... insidious to me about laying down to sleep, and having that noise break the silence at two in the morning. Because, whoever it is and whatever they want, it can't be good. Anyway. This is where the film starts making good on its name. Not to mention unleashing the most graphic violence I've seen maybe since Peter Jackson's DEAD ALIVE. Throats are cut (and _then_ their heads turned at an angle for maximum profusion); limbs sliced off -- and, you know long some limbs can take using a straight razor; decapitations.
Name it, you get it, in full, unfettered, bright red glory. Just when you're expecting an axe to the chest to be the end of it, the film always goes one sick and twisted step further. I loved it. There is no shame, here. The film is what it is: brutal and gory, no apologies.
Do we care about these characters, the ones that survive, I mean? No, not really. They're both cute girls, so part of me cares, but not beyond that or wanting them to get their due revenge on this psycho freak who gets blowjobs from severed heads and murders the unsuspecting because he's just so damn evil. If it were simply a slasher and vengeance movie, though, I wouldn't have liked it as much as I do. The ending seals the deal. It comes from out of left field, and some will surely call it cornball and over the top, but it's a surprise, even still. Took some getting used to; I wanted to stalk out of the theater when it happened. But, the more I think about it, it works just about as well as the ending for SIXTH SENSE did. There are clues dropped in throughout, but nothing gives it away.
Dare I call HAUTE TENSION smart? I wouldn't go that far. But, it is atmospheric, splattery, indulgent fun. Ceclie Le France's driven-mad scream toward the end rivals Marilyn Burns' in TEXAS CHAINSAW. Or, even Patricia Arquette on top of James Gandolfini's corpse, in TRUE ROMANCE.
You’ll have a chance to decide for yourself later this year when Lions Gate releases the film stateside as SWITCHBLADE ROMANCE. Keep your eyes peeled, gorehounds... literally.
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