Moriarty's DVD Shelf! PING PONG! NATURAL CITY! WONDERFUL DAYS!
Hi, everyone, Moriarty here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
No matter how good my intentions have been, I still haven’t gotten a DVD Shelf column together in about a month now, and I apologize. The one good thing about it is that I’ve got an overabundance of cool stuff to share with you today, so much so that I may be forced to break this into a couple of columns for this week. We’ll know once we get further in, I s’pose. The worst part about being under deadline to anyone except Harry is that I actually have to buckle down and do the work at some point. When that happens, it really cuts into my “sitting around watching DVDs” time, and that just plain sucks.
Seriously, though, this landslide of titles coming out right now is a direct response to the fact that there’s a new format coming. No one’s exactly sure what format is going to win in the upcoming battle for market supremacy or how soon it’s going to happen, but I’d personally bet on Blu-Ray to hit in the fall of 2005. If companies want to sell you a title, now’s the time to get it out. I’m sure that’s a big motivating factor in the decision to finally put out the upcoming STAR WARS DVDs. Now’s the time for Lucasfilm to make their money on this particular format. By the time Blu-Ray or whatever else is next is really set up and perfected, it’ll be time for Lucasfilm to put out the big giant six-film box set with all new extras again.
That’s sort of par for the course for anyone who has been buying movies since the early days of VHS and Beta. Hercules The Strong regularly goes apeshit at me, calling me a moron for buying DVDs. Once he bought his HDTV, that was that. He’s like a cult member now. He doesn’t seem to get that when you buy DVDs, you’re sending a message to the companies releasing them about how what else you want them to release and make.
Joss Whedon talked to me at the Saturns about how Universal greenlit SERENITY as a direct response to the great sales figures of the FIREFLY box set. FAMILY GUY is on its way back to TV with new episodes because of how well it sold. Yes, they’ll be pressing some of this stuff in new formats, but I guarantee they’re paying close attention to what sells now to help them when they make those decisions. When I buy LOST IN AMERICA or REAL LIFE, I’m hopefully also sending the message that someone needs to get off their ass and finally give us MODERN ROMANCE. Soon.
What he also doesn’t get is that I know I’ll end up replacing some of my DVDs with new versions later. Movies I adore, I’m happy to upgrade. My Kubricks, my Coens, my Gilliam or my Kurosawa or my Miyazaki or my Marx Brothers... no problem. Anything essential, I’ll bite the bullet and do it to it. When I read about that insanely cool and up-till-now secret 4X scan project that MGM is doing with the Connery Bond films, it gives me real hope for how amazing home video is going to be by the time I’m ready to build a real home theater in a house of my own. For now, in an apartment, my DVD setup is plenty of entertainment, and I don’t begrudge one dollar of what I’ve spent on it. Enjoy this landslide of titles, I say, many of them dirt cheap. Yes, I’m sure I’ll be buying new versions of THE LORD OF THE RINGS or TOY STORY or PATHER PANCHALI or McGoohan’s THE PRISONER for the rest of my life, but a cheap used DVD of SQUIRM or THE FINAL COUNTDOWN or NIGHT HAWKS satisfies the film freak in me. I don’t need to buy all those titles again. I’m sure DVD will be just fine for my archival copy of LET’S DO IT AGAIN or RETURNER.
Before we get to reviews, let’s take care of some contest business. I appreciate your patience as you’ve waited for me to pick the winners of the FREAKS & GEEKS contest, and now... finally... I have. I saw some truly painful examples of humanity as I sorted through the entries, but lest you think I just want to make fun of others, my wife helped me judge the contest, and in the process, she talked me into digging out my high school yearbook and my prom photos. She still can’t look me in the eye without laughing now, a week and a half later. Oh, the shame...
Our first winner is a gent by the name of Frank Darby. Do not mock him. Do not make Michael Berryman jokes. Don’t mention THE HILLS HAVE EYES or STIR CRAZY. Because if you do... he will eat you.
Our next winner, Bill Mudron, must have had a hellacious time pulling any tail after this particular image hit the school. Sandy Duncan looked more macho as Peter Pan than this poor bastard.
And even though there’s no grand prize in this particular contest, I’m declaring Chase Block the grand prize winner because this progression of photos makes me hurt deeeeeeep inside. I can’t imagine having to face down this rogue’s gallery of headshots.
And that guy today? Brad Pitt. True story. Seriously.
Congratulations to all of you who were brave enough to enter, and if you didn’t win, thanks anyway, and don’t worry... we always want to give you more chances to win cool stuff. For example, this week I’m opening entries for another contest where you can win another great Shout! Factory box set. Were you an SCTV fan during its run on NBC? If so, you no doubt remember how hard it was to keep up with the show. It aired in the wee hours of the morning, and was often delayed in individual markets, but it was always worth the effort. Seeing the shows again now, I’m amazed by how well it holds up, and three lucky readers are going to win SCTV gift packs including the complete five-disc volume one collection (due in stores on June 8th) as well as other assorted stuff they’re sending me like hats and stickers. All you have to do to win is send me your very own original SCTV-style sketch in script form. Please use Microsoft Word to create the document, and make sure it’s no longer than four pages. Pretend it’s 1982 and you’re writing the sketch for the classic cast of Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, Joe Flaherty, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas, and Andrea Martin. Make sure you include "SCTV CONTEST" in the e-mail header, and have all your entries in by Friday, May 28th. Can’t wait to see what you lunatics come up with.
Now... let’s get on with our big exclusive of the week, a peek at what you can expect when the STAR WARS trilogy hits DVD this fall. I don’t think the image requires much explanation, especially since message boards all over the Internet have been jammed with rumors about this particular change. You'd be wise to save this one to your desktops and redistribute it to friends in case it... ahem... mysteriously vanishes from here. Consider this your first official verification of that rumor:
Okay... is it just me, or do you get the feeling Yoda and Obi-Wan are looking at Young Anakin and wondering why he gets to be pretty for all eternity when he was the one who fucked things up in the first place? “Wait... I’d like to look like Ewan McGregor again. Hello? Is this thing on?!”
This strikes me as one of those changes that Lucas is making just for the sake of making it. I know my co-writer can’t wait to get his hands on the new DVDs, but between the further changes and the stuff I’ve been hearing about the rather drastic cuts that have already been made to the Kevin Burns documentary, the whole thing seems a little underwhelming.
Harry here... FUCKING RETARDED MONKEY BOY! What the Fuck Is That? I see, Sebastian Shaw isn't famous enough to be treated with the respect of a FUCKING PUPPET or ALEC GUINNESS!!!!! Oh - and that George isn't even the fucking director of this thing - This is OUTRAGEOUS! When Kevin Smith sees this he'll be shitting blood for weeks. Sigh... breathe... I see it totally makes sense... cuz it wasn't like that fucking shot was LAME AS HELL to begin with... Oh no, Lucas has managed to figure out how to out suck the dimmest of lights from RETURN OF THE JEDI. He's the fucking BLACK HOLE! If you try applying logic to that image, you'll short circuit in a Logic Circle like Robby The Robot trying to melt Leslie Nielsen's Brain! One friend of mine - after screaming about wishing Lucas' early autopsy, decided he would rather wish that George get a mop job at Wal-Mart. I don't think he could screw that up! --- Just dawned on me. You realize that Mark Hamill's Luke is now looking at the teenager version of his Father - whose ghostly image is younger than him or his sister? That's RETARDED!!!! I mean - with the reverse - it's gonna look even lamer!
Y’know, there’s nothing I hate more than when Harry is right. It’s much more gratifying when I get to call him up and mock him because he endorsed some unmitigated piece of trash at the top of his lungs. And trust me... he never lets me slide, either. When he put PING PONG on his 10 Best list a couple of years ago, I was sure he’d lost his mind again, and I started sharpening my knives sight unseen.
Damn you, Knowles. Turns out Sori Fumihiko’s film is one of the best sports films I’ve seen in recent memory. Normally, this genre bores the hell out of me because of the predictability of it all. Here, the relationship between Peko (Kubozuka Yosuke) and Smile (Arata) is the centerpiece of the movie, and the sports angle is simply a way to further define character. As a result, the ping pong matches are genuinely exciting, and you end up invested in them on an almost personal level.
And, no... I can’t believe I just wrote that paragraph, either. But it’s true. When we meet the two guys, Peko is the one who practically swaggers through every single match he plays, sure he can’t be beaten. Smile, nicknamed that because he never does, is his geeky buddy who seems to want to be like Peko, but who hates to be pushed by their coach or challenged. He just wants to play for fun. Basically, the film follows them over two full seasons as they become the men they are meant to be, with both of them facing severe personal challenges. Their friendship is sorely tested, and so are their personal abilities, and somehow, it manages to be hilarious and touching and oddly affecting. The special effects in the film are very subtle, and you forget that what you’re looking at isn’t real, the mark of truly great CGI. Like Edgar Wright’s SHAUN OF THE DEAD, what makes this film really wonderful is what it has to say about friendship. Every performance, from the leads right down to the players we just see in one or two matches, is absolutely dead-on, and no matter how much you think you won’t be able to relate to this particular sport or this particular culture, you’ll be surprised. Fumihiko’s got a great directorial eye, and he manages to negotiate all the tricky tone changes with ease. It’s startling how kinetic he manages to make it all, but when he gets to the serious emotional beats, he calms down and takes his time and lets the performances carry the weight. This all-regions disc is readily available, and since you can play it in pretty much any player, I’d advise all of you to seek it out immediately.
I picked up SAVE THE GREEN PLANET because I’d read so many mentions of it here on the site, but I didn’t put it in until the other night, when my buddy and I went to a screening that got cancelled. We decided to come back to the Labs and watch something, and out of the options I offered him, he picked this one because of the cover. “Looks funny,” he said.
Guess that depends on how funny you think torture and insanity is. At times, I admit I actually found it pretty amusing, so I think I may need electroshock. This is one of the strangest collisions of genre I’ve ever encountered, and even though it’s sort of a mess at times, I don’t care. I really, really enjoyed it, and the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’d have to say that I recommend it.
Frankly, I just like Korean films these days. There’s an energy to the scene that makes even the strangest misfire worth taking a look at. Writer/director Jeong Jun-hwan has put together a film that I’ve heard compared to Terry Gilliam and John Waters, but I think he’s got a fairly original voice that, sadly, may not be heard again since this was a commercial disaster when it was released in Korea. I can understand why... it would have been a commercial disaster anywhere, like most cult films that eventually find a rabid following. If you can’t describe a film to someone, then how the hell are you supposed to advertise it?
Byeong-gu Lee (played with admirable insanity by Shin Ha-kyun) believes in aliens. He’s wholeheartedly convinced that they have invaded Earth from Andromeda, and that they are planning a violent takeover. He has identified key aliens who have taken up positions of power in business, and he’s determined to do something about it. Man-shik Kang (the stoic Baek Yun-shik) is the target of Byeong-gu’s wrath, for reasons that are unclear when the film begins. Su-ni (Hwang Jeong-min), the chubby, long-suffering girlfriend of Byeong-gu, helps him kidnap the businessman so that they can torture the truth out of him, and what starts as a very dark comedy eventually becomes something that is simply impossible to predict as it twists and turns and slips in and out of reality.
What made me ultimately love this movie is the fearlessness of it all. It gets really nasty and unpleasant in places, but it doesn’t seem to hesitate at all. So often, dark stories pull back from the inherent darkness in order to try to maintain audience sympathy, but in this film, it seems to me that Jun-hwan embraces it and tries to see just how far he can take you before you break just like the characters onscreen. It’s daring, it’s original, and even if it doesn’t wrap everything up in a neat little package at the end, it is memorable and well worth your time. The R3 package comes with a whole disc of extras that I haven’t even dipped into yet, but at least they gave the director a lovely memento as his career went up in ashes.
NATURAL CITY, on the other hand, isn’t terribly original, but as shameless BLADE RUNNER ripoffs go, it’s one of the best so far.
And that’s not a bad thing, per se. Min Byung-chun has made a fairly serious, somber SF action film that has some gorgeous visuals, a couple of pretty great fight scenes, and a lead character who is grappling with moral and romantic dilemmas that Rick Deckard just barely touched upon. R (Yu Ji-tae) has made the cardinal mistake for a cop who hunts down killer cyborgs. He has fallen in love with a sex model named Ria (Seo Rin) during the last days of her life, and he’s determined to figure out a way to give her more days. He’s a prick to everyone around him, distancing himself emotionally even as he channels all his energy into doing the right thing by Ria. There’s a melancholy that settles over the entire film that is pretty well-done, and the DVD set I picked up comes with two discs in a crazy wrap-around metal package. Considering how derivative this is, there’s a lot to enjoy, and any SF fan should consider checking it out.
On the other hand, don’t get suckered into wasting your time on WONDERFUL DAYS, which is anything but wonderful. I know this is the biggest-budget anime ever released in Korea, and I’m sure directors Kim Moon-saeng and Sunmin Park meant well. It’s just that they spent all their energy trying to design a SF world, and no energy whatsoever on actually creating a story or characters to occupy that world. The result is inertia, pure and simple, and I’m not quite sure what to do with this giant 3-disc collector’s edition of the movie that I bought. I’ve flipped through the supplemental discs, and they’re pretty much exactly as boring as the movie itself. There are some remarkable images within the film, and I don’t fault the technical efforts on display, but if you want an environmentally minded anime SF epic that remembers to entertain first and foremost, NAUSICAA is the way to go. This film isn’t 1/10th the movie that Miyazaki’s masterpiece is, and in this case, imitation doesn’t even begin to lead to inspiration.
Okay... I’m going to have to break the column in half. I’ve got just over 30 new reviews I’ll be publishing at the end of the week as the second part of the column, and there’s all sorts of crazy stuff that I’ll be covering. For now, this first part’ll have to do, since I’m sure the traffic from the STAR WARS photo alone is going to send our server into a suicidal spiral it may never recover from. Until later this week...
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May 18, 2004, 4:37 a.m. CST
:( damn you lucas...
May 18, 2004, 4:42 a.m. CST
No, no, no , no, no.
May 18, 2004, 4:44 a.m. CST
I truly feel sorry to all those who are still clinging on to their Star Wars fandom. Surely this latest 'improvement' has to be that proverbial final straw??? SURELY!!!! THANK GOD, I was past caring ever since that atrocity AOTC!!! *breathes huge sigh or relief*
May 18, 2004, 4:48 a.m. CST
That damn well pisses me off. Unless he's re-shot the helmet removal scene with young Anakin then this is going to look ridiculous. But then again, this is Lucas - the guy's responsible for Caravan of Courage for God's sake! The best thing an artist can do is learn when to stop fiddling with their creation. An artist never gets anything perfect, it's simply unattainable. George Lucas simply doesn't know when to stop and as such has tarnished his own reputation as far as I'm concerned.
May 18, 2004, 4:50 a.m. CST
Somewhere Sebastian Shaw, the original Anakin, is spinning in his grave. Way to taint a legacy Lucas. How does he sleep at night? Oh yeah, on hundred dollar bills. Asshat.
May 18, 2004, 4:53 a.m. CST
The bald kid pic has been all over the internet,so I hope you verified it before you sent the prizes off...and doesn't the winner look a little like a pre-FatF**k Harry?
May 18, 2004, 4:56 a.m. CST
by 9 Fingered Frodo
You shouldn't have put the AICN Exclusive at the bottom of that photo, it will come back to bite you when its fake.
...oh yeah,and Lucas was full of shit from the get-go,folks.I like Star Wars alot,but let's face facts...
May 18, 2004, 5:24 a.m. CST
Sheesh, some geeks out there have improved there photoshopping abilities immeasurably. That shot looks kinda real (at first glance), But then, when you consider that the background around Anakin is conventiently black, although there is some stuff behind Yoda and ObiWan. Fake Fake FAKE...
May 18, 2004, 5:24 a.m. CST
Suddenly "Lucas raped my childhood" doesn't sound like so much hyperbole anymore, does it? George continues to elicit new depths of contempt far beyond anything I ever imagined possible. Keep it up, monkey boy! Let's see how you top this abomination.
May 18, 2004, 5:31 a.m. CST
As I have said many times before, the majority of Star Wars fans are fat, ugly geeks who are the bottom feeders of the nerd world. I have never seen greater evidence of this as when I occasionally check for spoilers on the web. Have any of you ever seen that web site The Force.net? Holy shit waht abunch of fucking geeks! It is filled with a bunch of fucking idiots with zero lives who need to be shot. A wise man once said, "I love Star Wars, but hate the fans," and I agree 100% If any of you want good coverage of Star Wars I would highly recomend checking out a spoiler site I recently found, http://www.millenniumfalcon.com/phpbb/index.php They just posted new stuff today about the Wookie battle on Kashyyak and it's amazing. Thank god there are a few fans left who are cool. The majority of fandom are your typical TFN pieces of shit. Drew, When is the next Jedi Council! I read those about 5 times and Carl is the bees knees!
May 18, 2004, 5:33 a.m. CST
And I guarantee it wont get explained either why Anakin reappears as a teenager, rather than the age he was when he died as Vadar! ........Unless of course its because Anakin was as teenager when he last served the light side of the force before shifting to the dark side and becoming evil. So his spiritual likeness would therefore match the age he was when he was last
May 18, 2004, 5:36 a.m. CST
Lucas has stated that Vader did disappear, it just happened off camera! This was another rumour for the DVD that we would see Shaw vanish as Luke talked with him, but then that begs the question of why drag the damn suit around. I think Star Wars is almost offically worse than the Matrix now.
May 18, 2004, 5:43 a.m. CST
...think how much those original Star Wars Trilogy tapes are going to be worth on Ebay in a few years time. My kids have a legacy after all.
May 18, 2004, 5:48 a.m. CST
by xavier masterson
Any unwarrented changes he makes to the original trilogy pale in comparison to the damage the prequels have done to the overall franchise. Hell, Lucas could replace Harrison Ford with a crusty, dessicated, old potato and it wouldn't affect the shittiness of the completed six episode arc. I now eagerly await harry and moriarty's glowing review of episode III.
Hey Fan boys. Get your heads out of your own ass. It's Lucas creation he can do whatever the fuck he likes. I rather like this change although I hope he changes anakin in the scene where he gets his helmet removed. Lucas own's your fan boy asses! If Lucas wanted to add in a scene were Luke can fly and digitally replaced Carrie Fisher with Jennifer Aniston you'd still buy the DVD... so shut the Fuck up with your complaining and wait for the finished product.
May 18, 2004, 6:09 a.m. CST
I'm buying the OT DVDs from ebay. Lucas, artist or no, creator or no, you are an utter, utter cunt.
May 18, 2004, 6:12 a.m. CST
This is it. Officially the final straw. I've put this off too long. I've moved out of my parents basement, I'm tearing down the posters with my podgy, geek like arms, I'm no longer a star wars fan. Hear that lucas? no more of this crap. I first saw them on SE (which i thought were great at the time) I loved the trilogy. Then i heard greedo didnt fire first... hmm, i though, hmmm this would be better if han solo was more ruthless. still they're fine films, so im a fan. then bought the games - dark forces COOL, tie fighter WOW!, JEDI KNIGHT AWESOME. The 1998 happened. I sent days watching the trailer on video. Didnt revise, didnt concentrate on that big "world outside" thing. Cause this film was gonna be IT. Something else. After that 2 hours I was gonna be changed somehow. read the reviews. saw the films. OMG. WTF. THAT was it? Brainwashed myself - I LVOE IT! Bought the DVDs saw lucas boasting about CG, how he could virtually edit like a deranged, and neckless Dr Frankenstein. Played the pHnatom Menace game, played star wars galaxies - was star wars getting worse or was i growing up? Galaxies is the biggest load of shite ive ever played (all the fun of star wars - only you never get a light sabre and play as a cook!!! - i can do that in the real world). Then attack of the clones. The only film ever made that is literally all surface. you know how sometimes you see a film you dont like (this even applies to complete crap like batman forever or the avengers, even the matrix reloaded, whereby the wacchowskis took two years to do what lucas did in 30, admittedly with more vision) anyway, these films you rewatch and you still see new stuff, stuff under the surface, performance nuances (no really) that keep you momentarily intersted. AOTC is dead. it is not alive. it is deceased. it has met its maker - which was the problem to begin with. IT IS THE CINEMATIC EQUIVALENT OF THE SMELL OF A CAR WHICH HAS BEEN COOKED FORM THE OUTSIDE ON A PARTICULARL HOT DAY. Its stale and unpleasanant. Now THIS!!! this crap! ROTJ was a fine adventure film, ewoks aside. The whole poiunt of the last scene is this, listen carefully. ANAKIN, ONCE A GOOD JEDI BECAME DARTH VADAR. DARTH MADE A SCACRIFICE TO HIS SON, WHO SAW HIS TRUE FACE ANAKIN BEFORE HE DIED. THE END SHOT DEMONSTARTED THE REAL ANAKIN (not some wooden kid) HAD FINALLY ESCAPED HIS OWN DARK SIDE (NOT REGRESSED, MOVED ON) AND JOINED HIS ONCE FRIENDS. This is shit. its meaningless. Its like Ebinzer Scrooge turning into himself from Chitsmas past after meeting the last ghost, its like godfather 3 corleone becoming godfather 1 corleone. Its like andy dufrese de-aging 20 years (admittedly he hardly aged anyway) its like Paul Newman becoming Butch cassidy in Road to Perdition. IT MAKES ABSOLUTLEY NO SENCE. IM OFF TO GET A LIFE - YOU FANS CAN KEEP THE FIGHTING ON SURFBOARDS EPISODE 3. IM GONNA DO A SPACED ANBD BURN ALL MY MERCHANDISE LIKE LUKE BURNED THE DARTH VADAR SUIT. IM DONE. keeping the oringinals ive got on DVD though, gonna show them on the underground circuit, like Gilliam showed the real Brazil, not some studio rip off. Lucas has become the evil empire
May 18, 2004, 6:13 a.m. CST
by Big Dumb Ape
I have a friend who works at Fox who says that right up to the release, Lucasfilm and the studio are going to be purposely leaking some FAKE "stolen stills" through assorted channels they feel they can use simply to throw people off, send the fans into crazy debates, and by virtue of both ultimately create more "buzz" about the upcoming DVD release. Basically, they're trying to get the fans worked up into such a tizzy that everyone will race out to buy the boxed set simply to see "what" was really changed (since there will be some key changes that do make sense, such as replacing the Emperor in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK for actor continuity, etc.) But my friend laughed over this and said this Anakin shot is NOT one of the REAL changes...
Its like Bilbo becoming the vary young BIlbo!!!! PJ knows how to do things. Bring on the Kong
May 18, 2004, 6:24 a.m. CST
Last thing, BRING BACK GARY KURTZ. Lucas has f*ed over: Clive Reville, Sebastian Shaw (deceased), David Prowse (ill,royally) Ahmed Best, John Williams (look at what he commissioned be donw with his aotc (euuurrgh) score), The Orignial Jabba the Hut MAN (Jabba you're a wonderful HUMAN BEING - dont tell me they could superimpose a model that well in1977 - Jabba was always going to be a man till critics fell in love with lucas' "creativity"), Doug Chang (fired him), Natalie Portman (alomst replaced her...), Ben Burrt (here be editor, your fired) Gary Kurtz (im rtich, i dont need you now, bring me a yes man RICK MCCALUM: "Reporting"). He'll step over anyone. Still as long as HE'S rich. Its the same mentality os Stephen Spielberg (SS) who claimed he didnt like Temple of Doom but at least it let him meet his wife (on the crap IJ DVD). WTF? so all those peoples hard work and sweat for the unsatisfied Overlord was purely so Spielberg could change wives, this mindset of "Everyone else on earth is just a part of my persoanl story". Theyre both dicks. The prospect of IJ4 is so underwhelming: Directed By Steven Spielberg (AI), Produced by George Lucas (eeeuuurrgh), Starring Harrison Ford (K19, i mean Hollywood Homicide) and Sean Connery (the most Scottish man in the Carribean, LXG)
IN FACT this change fits into GL and SS's behaviour. Darth - hey ive destroyed a planet, killed my own troops, betrayed my friends, trieed to kill my son, threatned to kill his sister, frozen his best mate, now killed the emporer (the last friend i had) - but at least I'M ok. Lucas (as a cinematic God) YES ANAKIN! THATS THE SPIRIT! AS A REWARD YOU GET TO BE YOUNG FOR ETERRRRRRRNITYYYYY!
May 18, 2004, 6:42 a.m. CST
by Jon E Cin
Anakin "died" when he became Vader apparantly. Vader redeemed himself in RotJ so now he becomes the younger Anakin in the afterlife. Makes sense to me...and that guy who played Anakin in the end always bothered me.
May 18, 2004, 6:53 a.m. CST
There is no need for this. It is just another sign that Lucas has went absolutely ape shit.
May 18, 2004, 6:55 a.m. CST
So much so that I no longer much give a fuck what he does with these films anymore, outside of mere passing curiosity. He's already royally fucked them up, it's just measured in various degrees of craptitude now to what else he does to these once classic (and once much loved and respected) films. ************************************************************************ This is what happens when you surround yourself with nothing but yes men (especially you McCallum you fucking hack!), start believing your own hype, and piss all over the very fans who helped build your success in the first place. *********************************************************************** And to all you whining "they're his films so he can do what he wants with them and we'll still swallow it regardless and call it better" fans, fuck you all, you're as deluded and blind loyal to all things Lucash that if he replaced every character with gungans and ewoks you'd still praise his fat, bloated, no necked ass. You guys are the fanboy equavalent of Rick McCallum, you're too busy praising your lord and master to look at anything objectionally or allow any dissenting opinions of your no necked God and his filmically shameful actions. I don't normally diss on any fans of anything, but you guys really sicken me. If you genuinely like the new versions that's one thing, that's just opinion, but you 'Lucas can do no wrong and he's entitled' die hards are the scum of the fanboy planet, so fuck you all. *********************************************************************** By the way, in this particular case it's probably a hoax, but honestly, how many people even care anymore?
May 18, 2004, 6:55 a.m. CST
Oh that web site is fucking terrible. I would advise you all to check it out to see what Star Wars fans are now like. It's a sad sad spectacle. By the way, why not replace Sebastion Shaw with Hulk Hogan? "Luke, tell your sister she was right about me, brother."
May 18, 2004, 6:57 a.m. CST
Go to http://boards.theforce.net/Episode_III_(Spoilers_Allowed)/b10331/15819675/?25. You're mad, guys!
May 18, 2004, 6:59 a.m. CST
Robogeek: It's never cool to wear "Lucas raped my childhood" as a badge of honor. Sheesh *rolls eyes*. Personally, I don't mind that Hayden is being put in Luke's vision. That's what he looked like the last time he was the "good" Anakin Skywalker. EMOTIONALLY, it kinda makes sense. Besides, Shaw's great moment is that scene with Luke before he dies. And that's not gonna change.
May 18, 2004, 7:05 a.m. CST
Can be a frickin' god on the Internet! Do people actually believe most of these pics that are floating about? If you do, then I seriously weep for the....oh, who the hell cares anymore?
May 18, 2004, 7:22 a.m. CST
...and speaking as an AICN talkbacker, I feel pretty superior to the lot of 'em !
May 18, 2004, 7:25 a.m. CST
Now I get it. They're "special" in a way like the kids that ride the short bus. I'm so glad I tracked down the "non-fucked" editions of the Original Trilogy on DVD... not only do I get to see the films the way I remember them, but it also keeps my money out of that fat bastards pocket. -Half
May 18, 2004, 7:28 a.m. CST
Lucas isn't that moronic, is he? (IS HE...?) Anyway, if this image is actually real, then it is also (other than showing that Lucas should be disemboweled) representative of the "skills" of he "professionals" at ILM - and in this case Lucas should hire someone else to do clay & stop-motion SFX instead.
May 18, 2004, 7:29 a.m. CST
Ok ILM are some of the best FX guys in the business and yet remarkably they manage to fuck up the lighting on Hayden, so he's lit from the front while both Obi Wan and Yoda are being lit by a blue back light a orange fill light from the left... Do me a favour! Check out Haydens Left (as we view him) shoulder blurred all over.... Christ! Aint it cool will post any old shit to get an "exclusive" these days.... This reminds me of the "exclusive" shot of the Spy Hunter car from the film that was a shot from the Game..... Give me a day or two and I'll provide you with an exclusive image from Episode III involving the conception of Luke and Leia if you want.....
May 18, 2004, 7:43 a.m. CST
http://apotheosis.tv/files/rotj1.jpg That's the scene where Hayjerk Cantactforshitenenenen's empty head was pasted on ACTOR Sebastian Shaw's body by the smegmabrain who made this extremely poor image. Quod erat demonstrandum.
May 18, 2004, 8:18 a.m. CST
by Indiana Clones
It's outrageously fake. Not even Lucas is crazy enough to have a teenage Anakin hanging out with old Ben and Yoda. SW rulz.
May 18, 2004, 8:19 a.m. CST
That movie was wrecked the moment those hairball Ewok's (GL's mini-me's)showed up...*** You can't polish a turd, but kicking it into the gutter can't hurt...
May 18, 2004, 8:19 a.m. CST
by Miami Mofo
So Mori, do really think that blue light lasers will replace red? [To others: cd's and dvd's are currently read by a laser using infra-red light; by switching to ulta-violet light, with its narrower bandwidth, something like three times as much information can be put on a disc, thus rendering the current generation of cd's and dvd's obsolete.]
May 18, 2004, 8:30 a.m. CST
by Red Raider
What other high-falootin-fucked up changes does Lucas have instore for the trilogy?!
May 18, 2004, 10:28 a.m. CST
then in 30 years some one can try and remake them and nobody will care because all we'll have is shitty waterdown versions of a once great franchise.
May 18, 2004, 10:35 a.m. CST
by Fatboy Roberts
May 18, 2004, 11:29 a.m. CST
I really can't believe you guys at AICN get sucked into this horse shit. First there was the new... ahem... Batmobile shot and now this. Part of my job involves a substantial amout of Photoshop and so I can pretty much recognise a dodgy 'shopped' job when I see one. Add to that a good knowledge of the Star Wars characters and their universe and straight away there a few glarring errors in this shot. Firstly, Anakin never wears that shit in any of the prequels. Never! Including the moment he 'turns' (which is the only explanation for a 'young' Anakin shot in the first place) as we've seen in the 'Making of' documentaries and leaked footage. Now OLD Anakin, that's a different matter. Then there's the lighting. All wrong. The 'glow'. Too strong. Not to mention the fact that the image is cropped and not even a screen grab and you're basically looking at an image created by someone who is pulling our plonker and no doubt laughing his nuts off at our stupidity.
May 18, 2004, 11:39 a.m. CST
I hate the majority of changes made to the OT, but this is one of the few that I kind of agree with. Since seeing RotJ as a child I have always been bothered that underneath the mask of Vader lies a fat old british man with giant, giant eyebrows. That being said, I'm not happy with the way Anakin looks in that picture...Lucas should have used CGI or makeup to make a 40 year old version of Anakin rather than use 20 year old Anakin. To those of you who say it doesn't make sense that Anakin appears this way, in his youthfull form, I'd like to point out was just as implausible to have Sebastian Shaw appear as he did in ghost form. I mean he's not scarred up, and has hair, so obviously they're not using Anakin as he appeared in the suit. I always assumed the ghost Anakin they showed us at the end of RotJ was how Anakin looked before he became Vader. But that Anakin looks to be 50+ years old, so it can't be that either. So what I mean is it's implausible (as it was in the OT) for Anakin to die and have his ghost take on visual qualities that he has never had in his life. I mean if someone you know dies and comes back as a ghost, you expect them to at least remotely resemble what they looked like when they were alive right? Basically they just pulled ghost Anakin out of their asses, and now they've just changed WHAT they've pulled out of their asses...plus, if as rumored, in EP III Anakin actually does DIE and is resurrected by Palpatine, the Hayden ghost will remain consistant with the plotline, because we're seeing the ghost of Anakin when he died in his true form, rather than the force-resurrected shell of him that was Vader.
May 18, 2004, 11:52 a.m. CST
May 18, 2004, 12:24 p.m. CST
by My Ass Smells
How on earth can ANYONE believe horrible photoshop is real? Anakin died an old fucking man in Jedi. Why the hell would he come back as Hayden? Don't give me that bullshit that he "died" in Episode 3. That is complete horse shit.
May 18, 2004, 12:44 p.m. CST
by My Ass Smells
People who read THEFORCE.NET are assholes!
May 18, 2004, 1:25 p.m. CST
http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=15901732&start=15904425 The Palpatine ghost pic. Real, eh? Ahh, Lucas is raping me right now!
May 18, 2004, 1:37 p.m. CST
May 18, 2004, 1:51 p.m. CST
Somehow, it seems wrong for Anakin's spirit to be that of a teenager when Obi-wan is still Alec Guiness and Yoda is still 900 years old. Of course if Lucas saw this post he'd probably be like "You have a point. Let's change Obi-wan to Ewan Mcgregor and make Yoda digital in the shot as well!" If this picture is real, we should probably be grateful that so far, the shot is only 1/3 screwed up.
May 18, 2004, 1:52 p.m. CST
You will buy the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD because... A) You have to see it. Just like you had to see Ed Berg getting his head chopped of in Iraq. It's a train wreck and you can't help but want to see it. (R.I.P. Ed Berg...) B) If you don't, you'll be the only one at AICN that doesn't have a copy. C) You'll need it to use as a reference when you bitch about Lucas ruining the "Holy Trilogy"....... and of course there are the jerk-offs who will screen capture all of the "sexy poses" of Princess Leia wearing that Bikini thing in Jedi, for masturbatory fodder.
May 18, 2004, 2:04 p.m. CST
...he's knocked the earth off it's axis by about 100 degrees. Anyway, this is why it HAS to be fake. Lucas is not an idiot. No wait. Scratch that. Lemme try again. Ok, here goes. If they are going to replace Sebastian's head with Haydumb when the mask comes off at the end of ROTJ, it will HAVE to be an aged Haydumb. So it won't match the young version during the Yoda/Ben/Anakin reunion at the very end. It's a very obvious discrepancy. I hope they don't replace Sebastian with Heydumb at ALL but I have a feeling Lucas is not done tinkering around. Jeez, I can't believe how far gone Lucas has become. He has totally lost it. It's like HITLER back in Germany. NO one opposed him and be became drunk off of his own power. He was to the point where he believed if it was his decision, it was the right decision. And that he only made the right decisions because HE made them. And because no one questioned or doubted him, he made stupid decisions that eventually cost Germany the war. Lucas and Hitler suffer(ed) the same power trip cum mental breakdown. It's a pretty common thing with those in power. And PLEASE, fire McCallum. He is the Darth Sidious of the new trilogy production. He is a mindless yes man that only sees dollar signs. And Harry, fix THIS GODDAMN SITE! It's slower than old people fuckin, you know that!!?!
May 18, 2004, 2:11 p.m. CST
Obi-Wan and Yoda look the same, but Anakin....? Who's been hitting the pipe at the Ranch this time? C'mon, this image has to be a fake.
May 18, 2004, 2:48 p.m. CST
From Harry's Episode 2 review concerning the Yoda and Count Dooku so called lightsaber fight: "When I saw this, I screamed like a little girl. I mean it was like Uncle Tony grabbed my pantied ass. I jumped about 12 feet up in the air and squealed. WHAT A THRILL!!" Also, Moriarty, DVD's are not going to be replaced by anything. They are ALREADY too good for the masses. Most people just don't care that much about the image resolution. Most people I know (and I know it is sad, but it IS true) don't even see a difference between VHS and DVD. Much less care about Original Aspect Ratio. It is completely over their heads. HD-DVD will be like SACD and DVD-Audio. An extremely small segment of the pie, probably on the same level that laser disc was. Believe it. And concerning Star Wars, I purchased Star Wars DVD's on Ebay that were mastered from the Definitive Collection laserdiscs and they look great. It was awesome to see the Original Trilogy again. I will not be purchasing the "Second Set Of Major Changes And Counting Edition" this September. Every change he has made since the theatrical releases has been a disaster, and I am cringing to see how much worse it can get. And for the people who say that Lucas can do whatever he wants to his films: You're right. If he is changing them for himself, great. But when he is releasing them to the world, then they are not just "his to do with as he pleases" anymore.
May 18, 2004, 3:43 p.m. CST
by Darth Melkor
I dunno... I just somehow seem to believe that Anakin pic is fake. I could do that exact same thing on my computer in 10 minutes, send it to a website, an chaos would break out like it has here.
May 18, 2004, 3:44 p.m. CST
by Johnny Smith
May 18, 2004, 3:48 p.m. CST
no matter how many times i view this pic, the young ghost on the left looks like ewan macgregor to me, not hayden c. does anyone else see this? am i blind?
May 18, 2004, 4:11 p.m. CST
I thought it was a joke at first, but damn. Lucas is lucky none of the fanboys have lost it so far and gone on some rogue mission to invade "the Ranch", steal the original footage, and kill him. This might send someone over the edge though.
May 18, 2004, 5:23 p.m. CST
I'd like to know.
May 18, 2004, 5:37 p.m. CST
Come on people! AICN reported "The Creeping Fear" as Episode III's title EVEN after LFL confirmed it to be a joke. Do you honestly believe that picture is real? A gazillion sites have confirmed it to be false and there are official sources denying such a change. AICN needs to stop posting every hoax that comes along just as publicity stunts.
May 18, 2004, 6:20 p.m. CST
by Cash Bailey
How did you transfer your LDs to DVD? I want to do mine done (I live in fear of laser rot claiming them forever) and don't know how.
May 18, 2004, 6:23 p.m. CST
by Cash Bailey
Those last shots. C'mon, you try and tell me it isn't?
May 18, 2004, 6:23 p.m. CST
Harry in a bacta blender. And to think I was considering a strawberry milkshake tonight...
May 18, 2004, 6:41 p.m. CST
by R.C. the "Wise"
It's probably a fake but what the hell. Just for fun will pretend it's real, afterall pretending is nearly all everyone here does. Sad but true...oops I'm on a tangent. Back to my thought, if Lucas did allow Hayden's image to appear in the final "glimpse" scene then he should've went all the way with it. The scene should also include Liam Nielson, Sam "I'm Mace Windu; don't fuck with me or I'll shove a purple lightsaber up your ass!!!" Jackson, and that other Jedi knight who looks like a former Coneheads reject. That would be Big! Word!
May 18, 2004, 7:05 p.m. CST
Every time Lucas tweaks and re-releases the classic Star Wars trilogy, the innocence and relative inventiveness of it all loses its luster. Now, whenever we watch ROTJ on DVD, we have to be reminded of those inferior prequels?! The Star Wars prequels are like some hopped-up black sheep of the family shouting, "Accept me! Accept me!" Let's face it: in spite of everything that we fans have given him (that's right, fanboys -- WE have given HIM), Lucas insists on making damn well sure everyone knows who the real owner/copyright holder/merchandise licenser is. No longer do the original films exist "In a Galaxy Far, Far Away" -- they're very much a part of our ever-mutable, whim-driven, Digital Now.
May 18, 2004, 7:43 p.m. CST
This is gonna be like that time Mori gave the big secret title to Episode Two and then immediately said it was a complex joke that only people in the know would get and it was never meant to be taken seriously.
May 18, 2004, 7:46 p.m. CST
The impact of Anakin's "Force ghost" appearing at the end of ROTJ (cheesy as it may be) is that we get a glimpse of an age-accurate Anakin as he would've appeared had he not gone over to the dark side. There's a poignant sense of loss for a life that could have been, coupled with the suggestion that Vader/Anakin has redeemed himself enough to live on with his non-disfigured visage. Having Hayden's young Anakin reappear undermines the emotional and thematic impact of the moment, and serves only to add arbitrary "continuity" between the trilogies. Just because Lucas CAN digitally alter a twenty year old scene, does not mean he SHOULD.
May 18, 2004, 7:50 p.m. CST
I wasn't going to buy your fucking DVD's anyway. Maybe I'll pick them up second hand. maybe not. Aw, crud.
May 18, 2004, 7:54 p.m. CST
by Junior Frenger
...Anakin turned to the darkside when he was that age in the picture. While Yoda and Obi-Wan stayed on the righteous path. To quote the crazy old hermit: "Darth Vader was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil." "He betrayed and murdered your father." The entire crux of the series hinges upon the moment Anakin turns to the darkside. No disrespect to Mr. Shaw, but when Anakin is finally returned to the light shouldn't we remember him before his turn to the dark? Thematically it has more resonance this way. I have always thought this is one of the changes that should have been made. I'm glad they did it. Now if only they fix greedo shooting first, the Emperor hologram in ESB, and Jabba in ANH I'll be ecstatic!!! Really Im only buying this set for the 5.1 digital and the cool documentary. I sincerely hope these changes are the real deal, at it would make my purchase even more worth the coin I'm going to spend on it. Dammit! I hate being George's bitch!!!
May 18, 2004, 8:10 p.m. CST
That is Sebastian Shaw's body.
May 18, 2004, 8:16 p.m. CST
May 18, 2004, 8:39 p.m. CST
And regarding this STAR WARS scoop, AICN seems more inclined these days to print obvious hoaxes as Google-bait, as others here have mentioned.
May 18, 2004, 9:50 p.m. CST
BTW, Creeping Fear was the 2nd Episode 3 title AICN posted. They also posted a video game subtitle as the official Episode 3 title. You could fill a hilarious book with all the fake AICN spoilers. Hope this picture is as fake as it looks at first glance.
May 18, 2004, 11:20 p.m. CST
by Atticus Finch
Stupid idiots. McWeeny and Harry get used more than the cheapest whore at the Bunny Ranch. When this pic is proven fake once and for all, I expect a big fat retraction and apology from AICN.
May 18, 2004, 11:24 p.m. CST
Hi! You can find a fun parody of this picture with Dark Helmet (from Space Balls) and others at www.JaxVox.com :)
May 19, 2004, 12:11 a.m. CST
That picture is great. It makes so much sense. Anakin dies in the lava and that was how he last looked before he became Darth Vader. I love being a Star Wars fan there is always new stuff coming at you. I cant wait for this DVD & Episode III.
May 19, 2004, 1:13 a.m. CST
Did you guys hear they are releasing Star Wars on DVD? Sometimes I want to cry when I read the stories here.
May 19, 2004, 1:25 a.m. CST
May 19, 2004, 1:28 a.m. CST
you know it to be true.
May 19, 2004, 2 a.m. CST
by Commando Cody
Sheesh, you'd have to severely have your head up your ass to believe this is real. As Orion's Angel pointed out, even IF such a change on the DVD was real (substituting Anakin at a younger age, when he was still "good", for the older Shaw) then she's right -- give ILM some credit. They'd AT LEAST put in a full, new body shot of Hayden and NOT just slice off and swap heads. Secondly, you ever stop to think that Harry or Mori loves to post shit like this that they KNOW is fake just because word will get out on the Net that they have a STAR WARS exclusive still (or any leaked still for that matter) and people will come to check it out, thus driving up hits on the site...and thus driving up the advertising revenue they can charge? Try to remember this IS supposed to be "news site", but news that's leaked or rumored. Which is the perfect equation for Harry to make money. On the one hand, he and Mori can post a bullshit still like this and increase the hits to the site...yet when it turns out to be a fake, they can easily brush it off with a simple "Oh well, we just report rumors. Guess we were fooled, too!" So you go away having been duped, meanwhile they're counting their money in the back room...
May 19, 2004, 2:03 a.m. CST
by Darth Melkor
That may very well be Sebastian Shaw's body, cause that's definitely not Anakin's outfit. He wears the same outfit in III he wore in II. You can see it in every picture of him.
May 19, 2004, 3:34 a.m. CST
by Darth Melkor
http://mysite.freeserve.com/pjvader2/images/8-picture1.jpg Yeah, why the hell would they just digitally put Hayden's head on Sebastian's body? That doesn't make sense. It's more expensive and much more complicated than just filming Hayden standing there.
May 19, 2004, 5:06 a.m. CST
If they are going to do that to ROTJ, i'm not saying they are, not saying they're not, but IF they are they would also make the clothes match the prequels, so this is obviously FAKE. Damn morons
May 19, 2004, 5:58 a.m. CST
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Oh, man, I can't stop laughing! If this is true, and it might be not, I can't even be angry anymore. If this is what he intends, George Lucas is clearly out in his own little world. It's comical. What's even funnier is reading the Star Wars fanboys at places like TheForce.Net try and DEFEND this! It's hilarious! And they do it like any true nerd would, talking about cosmic Jedi shit and Star Wars characters mentioned once in a some book written in 1987. A lot of these fools don't even seem to remember that, well, it's still a goddamn movie. Who gives two craps if this doesn't make sense when you line them all together! So Hayden Christensen looks nothing like Sebastien Shaw, so the Emporer in ESB looks or sounds nothing like Ian McDiarmid. Who cares? Ain't real life, just a movie. If I can believe a bunch of people exist in a world with goofy frog-men with mystical powers and ships that make noise in space, then I certainly can believe two different actors can play the same role.
May 19, 2004, 7:44 a.m. CST
This talkback is getting to silly now. People stil bitching even after they know the pic is fake. AICN people pretending to be talkbackers to slag off Theforcenet cos they showed them up by proving the pics fake. Last time i come to this site, please harry ban me. this used to be such a good place for movie info, now its fake batmobiles to the left and fake jedi's to the right.
May 19, 2004, 8:06 a.m. CST
Here's another idea that GL is considering, from TFNJC: http://pic13.picturetrail.com/VOL486/2219940/4335455/54110407.jpg He is also toying with the concept of having a CGI pregnant CGI Padme pregnant fly with her a CGI husband CGI Jar-Jar Binks on a CGI ship CGI-ingly fly to a CGI Endor and join the final CGI feast in the CGI... err, in RotJ. Hooray! There's also an Episode III script being sold on TFNJC... hahaha.
May 19, 2004, 11:52 a.m. CST
Hey! Why should they replace Shaw with Hayden? If Jedi spirit's don't age while in the dark side, they should put fabulous Jake Lloyd in the shot -- at least him and yoda are the same size! And they should put Padme there too so Luke can finally have a memory of his mom! And little 'Annie' should be singing The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow! While we're at it, why not put Jar Jar and Shmi there too!
May 19, 2004, 12:10 p.m. CST
I heard that during the final duel in ROTJ when the Emperor is shocking Luke on the floor with force electricity, if you look closely in the unaltered version, Vader turns his head away from the Emperor. George Lucas did that deliberately so that now, he can go in and insert Padme in her Red Senate Gown outfit and Jar Jar. Now, the new scene is: Emperor: 'Now Young Jedi, YOU WILL DIE...!' Luke: 'FATHER PLEASE...!' Vader turns his head, sees Padme in her red senate Gown and Jar Jar. Padme: 'ANNIE -- DON'T JUST STAND THERE! DO SOMETHING!' Jar Jar: 'You mean wesa gonna DIE? Yousa ALL BOMBAD!' Vader turns, throws Emperor off the rail. Final scene: All the Jedi Spirits, young Jake Lloyd, Padme, Jar Jar, Shmi, her husband, Yoda, Alec Guiness, George Lucas's son, daughter and Justin Timberlake -- because Lucas' daughter loves him -- all get together, put their arms around each other and sing 'WE GO TOGETHER, Like Ramalamalama kidingidingdidong... Together forever....'
May 19, 2004, 3:03 p.m. CST
Why is it more logical that Anakin appear as himself as he WOULD HAVE looked? It makes no sense at all as the ghost resembled something that never actually existed. Anyway who cares? How much logic do you want, dealing with the ghosts of magical warriors on another planet, surrounded by living teddy bears?
May 19, 2004, 6:05 p.m. CST
May 19, 2004, 6:09 p.m. CST
I always thought the fat guy playing darth vader at the end of ROTJ was an odd choice. This will only enhance the movie if Lucas is really making this change. All you Star Wars haters suck, you are brainwashed fucktards who hate for hate's sake, feeding off each others dementia, trying vainly to suck coolness from each other, when your combined cool pool is really just a shallow puddle of piss. Have a nice day.
May 19, 2004, 6:52 p.m. CST
That guy in the bottom left of the winning entry is the spitting image of a lean harry knowles. He's cheated! he's entred the competition! No! Duke De Mondo http://www.mondoirlando.com
May 19, 2004, 8:08 p.m. CST
You Guys are slipping. You need to research this stuff before posting.
May 19, 2004, 8:21 p.m. CST
I sware I think some people have absolutely no life. If Lucas changes the movies around, good for him. It's his movies. Minus a couple things, I like the Special Editions alterations, because it cleaned up a lot of the the old boring model special effects. People need to wake up from their fantasy world that the Original Trilogy was this flawless masterpiece. There was just as much dry acting in the originals as there is in the prequels that people constantly bitch about. I love Star Wars, all of them, and if Lucas wants to make certain scenes more clear or whatever, go for it. I doubt that picture is the real deal, but if something similar appears on the DVD set, I won't be whining about it as long as it doesnt physically look bad. People need to get out of their house and sci-fi shop and realize the world doesnt revolve around Star Wars and changes Lucas has or will make to them. When you are a partner in Lucasfilm and shell out money to make the movies, then you can bitch all you want. Until then, stop crying and just enjoy the movies for what they are....entertainment.
May 19, 2004, 9:53 p.m. CST
In the link posted earlier http://pic13.picturetrail.com/VOL486/2219940/4335455/54110407.jpg Anyway, if the photo of Hayjerk Christhesucksenen is fake and Hayshit Scumbuttfuckensen actually isn't going to be inserted in RotJ, then I'm sorry for lashing out. If it's true, and you really are throwing out *A*C*T*O*R* Sebastian Shaw and replacing him with that walking colostomy bag who wishes his penis was as big as his ego and as stiff as his "acting", then fuck you, GL, and I hope you and your whole Timberlake/Christenshit fanclub catch Ebola. [Rant_off]
May 19, 2004, 11:51 p.m. CST
I don't care what anyone says! Lucas has no right to constantly change his movies depending on the level of his own delusion and senility. How much worse can he make it? Alot, methinks. It is a common sentiment that his ORIGINAL versions are (were...*sob*) superior and that any changes he makes are for the worse. If someone can't decide how to make something better by demonstrating an inability to make an ultimate decision and finality with regard to that decision, the change doesn't need to be made...over and over and over again. It's sloppy artistry and treads into over-commercialism, something that Lucas was against when he first made his films. Now he represents the very worst of it. And the yes people that he surrounds himself with are only interested in the paycheck and who can bow down the lowest before Darth Luca$. Yes, Lucas was once great and should be respected for creating the magical wonder that is Star Wars, but he should be thrown into a padded cell because of what he has since done with it. Raping our childhood? More like committing mass extermination of our childhood on a genocidal level. The more Lucas tightens his grip, the more fans will slip through his fingas.
May 20, 2004, 1 a.m. CST
...'cause it's the only one(story) that has a working link! Someone get on the ball and make some of the other fucking links on this site work! Jesus Chirst, how does this site actually survive?
May 20, 2004, 2:16 a.m. CST
by Gaycock Jones
Perhaps the explanation is that once a jedi dies, they appear in ghostly form as how they were when they died. Anakin (it's a stretch, but the only explanation I can think of) was that old when he died...spiritually. That's about the age when "Vader betrayed and murdered your father". Like I said, a stretch, but the only logic I can come up with for the pic....
May 20, 2004, 2:18 a.m. CST
Do you think George can paint out those horrible teddy bears? If he does I'll do the Jub Jub dance and massage his toes.
May 20, 2004, 3:01 a.m. CST
by Adrian Tripod
Fake or not, Lucas has gone way too far with this rewriting history shit. I think it's high time somebody like Michael Moore put him in their crosshairs and made a funny, heartbreaking documentary portrait of a one-time cinematic genius whose methods have become... unsound. I mean, seriously, what's next, George? A film made without film, without sets, with all CG characters voiced by carefully programmed vocal synthesizers, using a script randomly generated by some goddamn IBM machine? Or maybe he's ALREADY a machine, some freaky kind of no-necked flannel-mimicing T-X2 sent back in time to fuck up a classic of modern cinema one frame at a time...
May 20, 2004, 3:20 a.m. CST
May 20, 2004, 3:26 a.m. CST
by Commando Cody
You know, the more I think about it, the more the Anakin insert actually makes sense to me. In fact, if Lucas did it I'd be happy because it would actually remove one the biggest complaints I've always had with ROTJ. Namely: why does Darth Vader get redeemed and suddenly become a shiny good-guy Jedi ghost -- worthy of standing next to Yoda and Obi Wan who gave their lifes for the Jedi order -- simply for having killed the Emperor? Sure, according the mythos his action brought "balance back to the Force" but the whole OTHER point of the mythos -- even before the Prequels were made -- was that Anakin/Darth was an utter bastard who betrayed the Jedi, hunted and slaughtered them so they could never be a threat, not to mention it's implied that as the biggest badass in the galaxy he ALSO killed tons of other people along the way. All to prop up the Emperor and the "Evil" Empire. I mean, are we forgetting even the body count Vader racked up across the course of the OT? Personally, I always had trouble with the sugary sweet Lucas notion in the original verion of ROTJ that ONE act of goodness -- particularly right at the end of your life -- redeems an entire LIFETIME of being an utter bastard. Or rather a mass murderous bastard. That's was always lame to me. It's like saying one of Hitler's top Generals who killed and butchered people by the droves on a battlefield or who ran a concentration camp and supervised the slaughter of thousands suddenly gets redeemed for pulling out a gun and shooting Hitler in a bunker to end WWII. So, personally, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea that Vader dies but rather than an older Shaw appearing, the spirit that reappears to show that Anakin HAS been redeemed really should be Christiansen, showing the way he looked the last time he WAS good, BEFORE he turned to the Dark Side. At least then it makes sense that the "Jedi" in him gets to stand with Yoda and Obi Wan...
May 20, 2004, 5:26 a.m. CST
What's that you say..? Thay WERE the cast of 'Time Bandits'/'Willow'. Sheeeet..!!!!
May 20, 2004, 6:04 a.m. CST
...if you've never seen an anime in your life. Slap an English dub on it and get Disney to distribute it properly and it's an instant hit. There's nothing wrong with the story per se, it's just that that there's not a trace of originality anywhere in it. But it sure is pretty. Maybe the prettiest anime ever, although SteamBoy, Appleseed, Innocence etc. will probably look at least as good. Also, Ping Pong is in my top five from last year, but nobody wants to watch the damn thing with me, because of the Ping Pong. Their loss, I guess.
May 20, 2004, 6:19 a.m. CST
by el zar
May 20, 2004, 7:53 a.m. CST
I've never bothered having a pop at Harry, Moriarty, etc about shit like bandwidth and fake pictures coz I knew someone else would. But this time I can't help it. Publishing the first picture shown in the Freaks and Geeks competition is the most moronic show of insensitivity I've seen since the publishing of those Iraq war prison photos. I mean for fuck's sake, it's obivous from the pic that the poor kid has Down's Syndrome. I find it hard to believe that he would post it himself, so some sick bastard probably did it as a joke. Taking the piss out of disabled people is fucking appalling! My best friend's brother has Down's Syndrome and I've known the kid all his life. He's had to deal with so much crap over the years because of how he looks and seeing pics of others with the same condition being mocked like this would tear his heart out. If Moriarty didn't realise, then fair enough. I just wish someone had before posting the pic to be ridiculed by people across the world. Did anyone else notice, or just me?
May 20, 2004, 2:41 p.m. CST
"and the stuff I
May 20, 2004, 7:03 p.m. CST
It would have been one thing to make it believable, within the context of the Star Wars universe. But nearly point blank, across a small table??? -- Let's hope this new exclusive picture is indeed fake. After the change mentioned above, I'm not entirely sure. Logic has went out the door before. Why not THIS time???
May 20, 2004, 11:04 p.m. CST
by Darth Melkor
You know, I hate this change, but if they're going to change it, at least make it look good. It looked soooo terrible in the 97 Special Edition.
May 21, 2004, 12:38 a.m. CST
by Hell's Cigarette
May 21, 2004, 12:44 a.m. CST
by Hell's Cigarette
May 21, 2004, 12:46 a.m. CST
by Hell's Cigarette
May 21, 2004, 12:47 a.m. CST
by Hell's Cigarette
May 21, 2004, 9 a.m. CST
Let's change the films enough so that the 4 year olds can watch them. Lord knows there was WAY TOO MUCH VIOLENCE in the original films, originally. (You get a sense of my exaggeration???)
May 21, 2004, 10:56 a.m. CST
In the tradition of the ridiculous 50s diner, Jabba's funk band, and those silly podrace announcers, Lucas is planning on inserting a JAZZ BAND made up of hipster aliens in BLACK TURTLENECKS (!!!)into the cantina scene! What folly will the man undertake next?
May 21, 2004, 11:39 a.m. CST
This pic is obviously Photoshopped...if you look at the lower left third of the image, you can still see the remainder of Sebastian Shaw's left arm showing through the semi-transparent pasted-in Hayden photo (which, with the face and the long hair, BTW, make him look like Anakintonio Banderas). If this was a genuine LFL image, wouldn't George have access to the original background plate?
May 21, 2004, 11:55 a.m. CST
Even if it was Lucas' original intent (it wasn't.. you don't need special effects to have one character shoot before another), it still makes no sense with what was filmed/edited and how that scene plays out. It plays out as Han sneakily pulling out his gun, and then, he subtely TALKS SHIT to Greedo right before shooting him. It makes sense that han would shoot right after he says "i bet you have", it makes no fucking sense whatsoever that Greedo, thinking he has Han trapped and defnesless, would just all of a sudden blast for no hot damned reason. None WHATSOEVER. Don't be a fucking moron. the shit caused such an uproar because it IS filthy and atrocious.
May 22, 2004, 1:44 a.m. CST
by Bourne GreyElf
now that would be fucking funny. and there should be a new scene with michael jackson molesting ewok children.
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