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Another negative TROY review from a college screening...
SPOILER ALERT !!
Ahoy, squirts. Quint here with another review of TROY from one of the many colleges that are getting early looks of the film... I'm trying not to let these mixed and negative reviews bring my anticipation of the film down, but you can't deny that something is definitely rubbing people the wrong way. There's an Austin screening next Monday, so expect to hear from all the Austin AICN folks on this one. Garbage or gold? I guess we'll all know in the very near future! Here's NU's Ryan!
Dear AICN,
I noticed you put up some reviews of Troy from some college screenings, so I figured I would e-mail you what I thought of this movie because the reviews so far don't really let you know how little you should really be looking forward to this movie.
First off, I attend Northwestern University and one of the student organizations decided to do one of those sneak previews of Troy that seem to be going on around the country. Unluckily, I waited in line for an hour or so with a group of 6 of us, four guys, two girls, and we got in to see it. The searched us for cameras etc., although honestly, I wouldn't have wasted the $2 tape to record the dissapointment that followed.
Wow, can I just say how BLOWN AWAY I was at how MEDIOCRE this movie turned out to be. I can't believe it. I was so siked to see this movie, I mean, the trailers with the awesome music and the boats and the fighting . . . it looked ridiculous right???? Well, It just plain isn't. So here's my 100% spoiler-free review of why it ain't.
First, the good:
The man vs. man action. The fight between Hector and Achilles is flat-out hardcore awesome fighting. If the whole movie had been like this, I would be changing my pants right now. Unfortunately, it's not, the fighting is kept to a minimum, as I will delve into later in "the bad" section.
The good-looking people. Wow, what a ridiculously good-looking cast. Unfortunately, that's all I can say for them.
Eric Bana as Hector. He is undoubtedly the only saving grace of any of the characters, although Brian Cox is definitely solid as well. I for one hated the Hulk, (just felt like it didn't know what it was supposed to be, ie. it didn't know it wasn't supposed to be crap), but I didn't feel any of the Hulk had Bana to blame, and I doubt anyone will dispute how amazing Bana was in Chopper. Expect him to be the only character you care about in this movie and expect Brian Cox to be the only other actor you respect after this movie.
The BAD (and there's a whole lot of it):
I started to get pissed when I noticed no naked Helen (besides an ass), after reading a review a while ago on AICN about how amazing her body looks. I'm sure this has to do with the whole 'violence is okay, but nudity isn't' trend that is going around in media today post-jackson-nipple. Anyone whose seen South Park - Fun times with Weapons knows what I'm talking about. Anyway, that's a minor gripe, and I don't mean to lose credibility, but come on, I mean, come on??
Anyways, THE MUSIC IS HORRIBLE!!!!! Like, remember the woman kind of singing/whimpering/whining I guess in the opening scene of Gladiator???? Well, if you don't, you'll have it piercing in your brain long after TROY ends. No music in TROY was good. It was just there, less then bland, in fact, just bad. How hard is it to come up with good music for a movie like that???? Did you not hear the music in Gladiator?? Copy it!!! I don't care, just play something that COMPLIMENTS the movie for a change.
How about the big action scenes???? Boring to say the least. I'm sorry, but Wolfgang Peterson needs to understand that there can be a lot more to a giant action sequence than just showing a couple very quick clips of blood and shields flying around. Didn't he see any of the latter LORD OF THE RINGS movies??? Those action scenes are large in scale, but also packed with suspense and excitement at the SAME TIME!!! The only part that seemed mildly original were the 'fire balls' - you'll see them, get excited thinking the movie has taken a change for the better, and then be disappointed and bored (while holding your ears so you can't hear that bitch who is actually STILL WHINING!!!)
The acting . . . . what can I say . . . . DISSAPOINTING!!!!! This is Brad Pitt and Orlando 'Legolas' Bloom, I mean, come on!!! I thought it was just a fluke, and then I started keeping track, but EVERY TIME Orlando Bloom spoke a line, there was non-stop laughter in the audience. This is not cool for a movie that doesn't have a single joke in it at all. His facial expressions, his acting; awful, just awful. And then, to top it off, he picks up a bow and arrow towards the end. Legolas would kick him in the balls for dishonoring his character like that.
Brad Pitt wasn't bad, but he sure wasn't good, and that is disappointing. Practically every time I see Brad Pitt in a movie, he blows me away. Interview with a Vampire, Fight Club, Seven, Snatch, Twelve Monkeys . . . the list goes on and on. But this was just, boring. There are times when I felt like I could be excited for him to 'take it to the next level' ie. HECTOR!!!!!!!!!! As well as his fighting. But it just never worked out.
ALL IN ALL:
The trailers make this movie look incredible. The cast make you believe it's going to kick the shit out of Gladiator and blow you away. But in the end, you're left under whelmed, realizing that the two movies that started off the summer movie season of 2004 were just plain mediocre. With Van Helsing just 'fun/entertaining' and TROY mediocre at best, it sounds like it'll be SHREK 2 that'll really start this summer off the way it should be, with a solid non-disputably kick-ass movie.
till next time
-Ryan from NU
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"This page cannot be displayed" (etc. etc.). Please invest in some more bandwidth Harry. News isn't news if you have to wait a day or so to actually be able to see it.
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I saw this film at a screening last week and I thought this was a 165-minute endurance test. Okay, I really enjoyed Brian Cox's performance. He was not only playing to the cheap seats, he was also playing to the neighboring town. Eric Bana, Peter O'Toole (despite looking like he was passing a gallstone the entire time) and Sean Bean were also pretty good as well, but practically everything else felt half-assed and uninvolving. And I really am beginning to dislike Orlando Bloom the more he shows his face on screen. I could tolerate him in Lord of the Rings, but that is probably because they gave him only a handful of lines to recite in each installment. He is not a good actor by any stretch of the imagination (not that I needed to tell any of you that).
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Not saying "Troy" will be terrible -- I'll gander at it in the theater -- but I can buy that it's mediocre. The last watchable Peterson film was "In the Line of Fire," everything since then: shite. It would be foolish to expect him to all of a sudden rebound to his "Das Boot," substance over stars heyday, but I do think "Troy" will be more tolerable than "Perfect Storm" or "Outbreak" or "Air Force Ugh."
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Stupid fucking college kids... learn to spell.
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I was so looking forward to this movie.
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That "wimpering/whining" woman in Gladiator has an amazing voice, and that piece was absolutely breathtaking. Couldn't quite tell if the reviewer was ripping it or complimenting it. He calls it whining at first, then proceeds to tell the makers of TROY to "copy it!" Eh? Either way, I agree that Petersen is an on-and-off director, mostly off with his past few films. I didn't even think the trailers looked good. And the usually great Brad Pitt seemed like he was trying a bit too hard to be EXTREME. "IS THERE NO ONE ELSE?!" Bah.
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I'm not certain that Troy is going to suck ass. Okay it's from the people who brought you Outbreak and Air Force One. But back in the day Petersen was a fine director. Das Boot and The Neverending Story are terrific films. It is going to be big. The first teaser showed us that. But big ain't bad, huh Harry? And it's going to be loud. I, for one, really loved that woman singing in Gladiator. What I do have a problem with are all the pretty people. Ugly folks are just more interesting to watch.
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With an 'sen'. I hate it when people can't spell director's names right.
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May 08, 2004 7:29:09 AM CDT
sounds increasingly like it will be more fun to teach myself Hom
by smutgirl
and read the original version, than to sit through this abominable bastardization.
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I hear this cliche so much and read it everywhere on the net. The simple fact is that you can explain to your kids that the violence is all pretend and special effects, that no one got hurt, etc. With sex and/or nudity, you can't explain that away as pretend, because the nudity they see is real, the kissing and fondling is real. The actual act may be acting, but think about this... wouldn't you rather have your kids pretend-fighting than pretend-fucking?
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Why people continue to cast this idiot after his soul-less, inept performances in LOTR and Pirates Of The Caribbean is completely beyond me.
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Am i the only one who's bothered by the "teen idol" persona that Orlando Bloom is getting these days? It really makes me sick to hear (stupid) little girls go "ga-ga" over him! Maybe he's better off being cast as an elf because their just nothing more than male fairies. Besides, aren't all teen idols elves, and fairies?
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May 08, 2004 9:07:07 AM CDT
Maybe they should make "Joe Black 2" with Hulk Hogan As The Badd
by mbaker
You're not Death. You're just a kid in a suit...BROTHER!
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What is it with college kids and spelling these days? "Siked"? "Dissapointed"? Even the janitor at whatever University-For-Retards he goes to should be able to spell better than that. Even the wetbacks at McDonalds should be able to spell "disappointed".
I'm sure Troy DOES suck, but it's not like this pubescent idiot's review is helpful, as it contains zero valid points. "No naked Helen" is apparently his biggest gripe with the film. Bravo, Einstein, really deep and insightful. -
So Paris takes up a bow...what a blatant rip-off of LOTR...or not. He was always an archer.
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I'm not sure I should take anyone from a university at their word these days, but it doesn't suprise me. It is a fact, Das Boot was the pinnacle, and it's been a downward spiral ever since. Now it's action over intelligence every time, welcome to Hollywood Wolfie. And get a script next time.
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It reads like a poorly-scripted monologue for "Generic College Student." Like, I kept waiting to be blown away, him being a Northwestern student, and all, you know? But he just couldn't take it to the next level.
So. What's bad? Let's see:
-"No naked Helen." Translation: Man, I was just stunned. That was one of the biggest reasons me and my buds wanted to see this. I turned to my friend, in like the middle of the movie, and he just looked at me, and all I could think to say was that line from that baldheaded dude at the end of _Apocalypse Now_: "The horror. The....HORROR!" And I swear, that was like the best line delivery the whole time we were in the theater. But I'm coming to that in a minute. Hang on.
-"Bland" music with "singing/whimpering/whining." Translation: Dude, Staind would have been SO AWESOMELY KICK ASS on this soundtrack!
-"Boring" action scenes. Translation: Wait. You mean that first 20 minutes of _Saving Private Ryan_ actually HAPPENED? Man, I thought Spielberg made that up! Man, that completely blew me away! I mean, until a dude actually picks up his own freakin' ARM off the ground, I will never be satisfied again. Well..unless there's like a giant elephant or a naked woman or something.
-"Dissappointing" acting. Translation: They spoke all stilted and, like, historical. And stuff. The last time I laughed like that, me and some friends were real high and we watched _Masterpiece Theater_. Man, that was THE BOMB!
ALL IN ALL: Credibility is the key. Back in college, my frat brothers used to issue opinions about movies too. "Dude! It has that chick from _Saved by the Bell_ and _Showgirls_ in it! It's gonna kick ass!" Ummm, yeah.... Helpful, that.
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If you have a problem with a wimpy actor playing Paris, then the problem is that you're still in elementary school and have not read the story of the Trojan War, yet. Paris is *supposed* to be a wimp!
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When I saw Master and Commander I thought, "look a hobbit!" After three years of intense LOTR promotion it's impossible to watch Legolas without thinking of, well, Legolas. This is his Corvette Summer.
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I can't really comment specifically until I've heard the score, but if what the reviewer is describing is the same miserable, atonal wailing that's been used in every period miniseries in the last few years, whether the setting is ancient Britain, Greece or Rome, it will be one more stroke against this film. Miklos Rozsa spent years researching ancient music and came up with the glories of "Ben-Hur." Now, in film after film, we have this distracting, generic whine representing fate, or the futility of all human endeavor, or the waste of war, or whatever it's supposed to be. It was never attractive, and it's getting more stale and pointless with each recurrence. Epic music should stir your blood, not make you want to swat mosquitos. ***To the reviewer: "Psyched" has the same root as "psychology" - "psyche" or soul. It's a hard word to spell, but by the time you reach college, you should have grasped a few things about word origins - or at least know what you don't know and be able to use a dictionary.
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Is that he didnt regress back to being a 9 year old child before entering the cinema. As Harry has pointed out, even the worst fucking film on Earth can be enjoyable if you pretend to be a child.
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it looks like it's back to the drawing board for the historical epic. or maybe oliver stone will single-handedly save the genre. yeah right.
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This movie is Rated R in the U.S. That means no kids under 17 without an adult. Why should we worry about explaining things to kids in a movie that is intended for Adults? I'm tired of hearing that my entertainment must be diluted, altered, censored, fined, etc. because of children and what they might see or hear. It is ridiculous. Some things are for kids, some things are for adults, and somethings are for everyone. Many parents do not seem able to understand this. I've noticed two extremes from clueless parents: One side wants adult content from any and all entertainment media and the other thinks it is okay to take their seven year old kids to see violent and sexually explicit films in the theater. I believe that somewhere in between we can find reality and responsible parenting. We have movie ratings, Tv ratings, The "V-Chip" and descriptive movie reviews to assist us in decision making. If there is something you don't want your kids to watch it is your responsibility.
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No naked Helen? That was a major complaint? How about if the movie was true to the fucking book. I could care less if I see T and A in this movie. I DO care if it's true to the text and doesn't completely SODOMIZE Homer's epic. Oh and Orlando Bloom is supposed to play a bland pussy. Paris was a little prick who gallavanted off with Agammemnon's wife.
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I just don't get America. Why is it you can't distinguish nudity from pornography? What is it you think will happen to children if they are exposed to Janet Jackson's soggy nipple for one second? You think they'll grow up to be sexually depraved pedophilic rapist orgy freaks? You think their 3rd grade teacher will walk into the classroom and find the whole class gang banging? You think they'll simply explode? I live in Sweden where profanity and nudity has never been censored in the media. Violence, however, has. Has this resulted in the reverse situation with sex and violence in society? No. We have less violence _and_ less sex crimes than the US has. And Swedish kids definitely don't use as much foul language as American kids do. When it's not forbidden, it's no longer interesting. Here's what will happen if the US media stops bleeping out profanities and blurring out nipples: NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING. Well, OK, Howard Stern will be out of a job, but that's all.
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Dude, there are pretty-boy actors, and then there are pretty-boy "actors." Brad Pitt is an actor. Yes, his looks are a major factor in his mainstream popularity, but you can't fault the guy for it. He's also educated, articulate and pretty fuckin' funny. Guys like Pitt, Dicaprio and Depp have always taken shit for their looks, but this criticism speaks more about the person doing the criticizing than it does about the actors themselves. Orlando Bloom seems like a nice enough guy, but he's a pretty-boy "actor." The guy tries way too hard to act with his eyes, he comes off as a pussy in every role he plays (even Legolas - he's a pussy with a sweet shot). Guys like Chris Klein, Paul Walker, Orlando Bloom - say what you want about them and their bad acting abilities. But don't shit on Pitt because his looks land him roles. After all, in Fight Club, Snatch, Se7en, Twelve Monkeys - you could even argue that his looks hindered the credibility of the characters (except maybe F.C.). Don't hate on a dude just because he's good-lookin.' ps. The jury's still out on Colin Farrel.
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That collective "you" really hurts. We're not all insane, and we're not all handicapped by fundamentalist "morality" or religious beliefs. In fact, some of us find it downright ironic that so many of the early European settlers of America arrived here to practice freedom of/from religion.
In a country as diverse as ours, and founded on philosophies such as ours, one would think that individual freedom and expression would be held above all else. The ironic truth is that the size and wealth of our country has allowed people to cling to powerful ethnocentric belief systems. Such profound, willful ignorance tends to resist education. Sad but true.
Still, there are many, many U.S. Americans who are NOT so ignorant. It just so happens that not many of them work in Washington, D.C. -
Because there are alliances against that here that probably hearken back to Puritanism that are more trouble than they're worth to deal with.
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But it sounds good, no?
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That collective "you" really hurts. You probably know this, but just in case:
We're not all insane, and we're not all handicapped by fundamentalist "morality" or religious beliefs. In fact, some of us find it downright ironic that so many of the early European settlers of America arrived here to practice freedom of/from religion.
In a country as diverse as ours, and founded on philosophies such as ours, one would think that individual freedom and expression would be held above all else. The ironic truth is that the size and wealth of our country has allowed people to cling to powerful ethnocentric belief systems. Such profound, willful ignorance tends to resist education. Sad but true.
Still, there are many, many U.S. Americans who are NOT so ignorant. It just so happens that not many of them work in Washington, D.C. -
... somewhere on here? Does someone actually think that's funny? sheesh.
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Are you guys kidding me??? I wrote that review in 15 minutes last night before heading out to a party and you guys are actually going to take the time to attack my credibility because I made a few spelling errors???
So, Petersen was Peterson, I don't care. The guy deserved his name spelled wrong after making TROY look so good and turn out not to be.
Siked, dissapointed . . . I'm sorry, but I am not writing my thesis, so come on. You guys are talk-backers, talk about my arguments, talk about the movie, talk about if you agree with me, but please, you aren't my high school english teacher and making this review perfect in every respect was not my intention, so grow up. I watched the movie, was very angry at how it turned out, felt I needed to voice it, went home, wrote the review while getting changed to go out, and then sent it in. Unless you have an inferiority complex with your own intelligence, there's certainly no need to insult mine simply due to a few spelling errors, and I can assure you [krispykreme], you are wasting your time with that argument.
Also, have a sense of humor. Yes, Paris was an archer, my comment was made regarding the vast difference between the two roles with a bit of humor. No different than my first argument for the bad, which is obviously more of a joke than a gripe, and I say that towards the end of that discussion.
BallAche, no 9 year old child should be watching this movie. I think that concept applies far more to Van Helsing than it does to Troy. I wanted Troy to be interesting in its character development while exciting in its action. I can appreciate movies for what they are, but Troy is truly a let down, no matter if you are a 9 year old at heart or a 20 year old.
Yes, Orlando Bloom was supposed to be a 'bland pussy' but the fact is, his lines are awkward, very awkward. There are many ways to play that part, and perhaps either it was the script's fault or the editing, but you can't understand how awkward it is to be in a theatre when every single person is laughing from all the lines that should make anyone laugh.
Trust me. Go see the movie next week and see what you think. If somehow you end up liking TROY and really disagree with my arguments, then next time, just dismiss my review. But if you're sitting there looking at your watch, plugging your ears from the annoying repetitive music, wishing for a whole lot more and not receiving it, then you'll understand why I wrote the review like I did.
-ryan -
May 08, 2004 3:29:29 PM CDT
If we are relying on Shrek 2 to get our summer started then we a
by industrykiller
I can't believe anyone liked Shrek 1. The main characters are poorly designed, Mike Myers does that Scottish accent again (which if you are still entertained by after hearing it for the last 13 years then you should consider yourself easily amused), and do I even need to comment on the abhorable Eddie Murphy?? The jokes are mediocre at best. Oh it's self aware how original. The funny thing is the only defense anyone ever has for this film is "C'mon the gingerbread man was funny." Yeah maybe he was but it's one fucking scene! Make a gingerbread man movie and maybe I'll give it a shot. This summer is not looking good. If Spidey 2 sucks then stick a fork in the whole season.
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Umm...unless my knowledge of greek mythology is wrong, Paris(Bloom) was a whine-ass bitch who had his brother Hector(Bana) do all his fighting for him. "Hector, I want the Helen chick in Troy, go get her." "Umm, bro, that's gonna start one hell of a war." "I don't care, I don't want dad thinking I'm gay anymore." Greek Warrior, I don't think so.
-Dre -
May 08, 2004 3:56:57 PM CDT
"siked to see this movie" ---???? Another student graduates Nor
by bregalad_
"psyched" is the correct spelling, Ryan. Oh, nevermind. Sheesh.
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May 08, 2004 5:01:17 PM CDT
I WISH THAT Brad Pitt would continue to "work out", ... really b
by jdanielp
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You bring up a good point about how the entertainment industry thinks we're stupid. I am sick, and tired of the media telling me what's in our best interest. Take those stupid ESRB commercials! Every time I go to the video game section of any store, they show these retarded ESRB commercials every ten seconds! All they do is put in personalities who are irrelevant to the issue and know little (read: very close to nothing) about video games. That, to me, is very stupid! They make me want to throw a rock at the TV screen! I also can't stand these stupid VERB commercials! All they do is assume that we're all a bunch of stupid, lazy bastards that need to be told how to live! It's the equivilant of the federal government going into our faces, and saying "HEY YOU FAT, LAZY BASTARD, GET OFF YOUR BUTT, AND DO SOMTHING!!" They're a complete waste of time! "You could go out and play some basketball, or engage in sexual acts for long periods of time, VERB its what you do"
Does the governmentt pay for these stupid ads to try to get American kids in shape? How about I stick up my middle finger at the television whenever I see one of those damn commercials? How's that for a verb?
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May 08, 2004 6:03:24 PM CDT
I'm weak. It could be the worst movie ever - but if Brad Pitt i
by lilfirecracker
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this movie is meant to be over the top and full of cheese. Gleeson talked to total film and so everything was "meant to be BIG. Scale, emotions, acting everything" So college pansy boys. Quit it with your "oooo they didn't adhere to Greek mythologhy" NERDS
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The one thing I love about this site is that I can always count on scores of couch potato film directors/critics who seem to think if they could have made the movie, it would have been so much more meaningful or epic. From what Ive seen of behind the scenes and trailers of Troy, I very much am looking forward to seeing it. I am not going to let some "holier than thou" reviewers persuade me to hate the movie before I've even seen it. Maybe they should just rename the site, Ain't It Crappy News, being everyone seems to hate every movie. Movies are meant for entertainment, not for a religious awakening like most people who comment here seem to think. Why don't you save your $8 and stop seeing the movies...then in a couple of years you will have saved enough money to show Hollywood how great of a filmmaker you would be. And for the negative Gladiator-esque soundtrack remarks...I personally think that music is quite appropriate for these classical and pre-classical epic movies. Long live Troy. I can't wait to go see this epic. And for you early haters of this movie and every other movie set to be big this summer, you can now go back to watching your anime that is so great or go back to writing your better script for Star Wars Episode III.
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I wonder if he's an business major.
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Over long piece of shit movie.
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LOL, I love that line, Shawn F.
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"I don't care, just play something that COMPLIMENTS the movie for a change." Upon graduation (by no means guaranteed), this kid will be lucky to get work as a fry cook at Fern's Appalachian Hamsteaks - the finest restaurant in Lynndie England's home town. It's "complements", my poor, beer-besotted, breast-beleaguered, bumbleweed friend. "Compliments" are what you should not receive, and what music would find damn nigh impossible to do for a film, or anything else.
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Weak, seriously weak.
I'm very impressed you can all point out errors in a review I wrote in 15 minutes before going to a party. You should all be very proud of yourselves. Heck, maybe you might be able to get into a college almost half as good as Northwestern with those amazing skills.
Let's go over some these talkbacks:
MR BROWNSTONE SAYS: this "reviewer" seems like a mildly retarded frat boy
Comment: I wonder if he's AN business major.
MY RESPONSE: You wrote two sentences to try an insult me, and still managed to include incorrect grammar. Well done dipshit.
Billy The "S" SAYS:
. . . "Compliments" are what you should not receive, and what music would find damn nigh impossible to do for a film, or anything else.
MY RESPONSE: Billy, is that a coherent sentence?? Because I have no idea what that is supposed to be. What is a nigh may I ask? I guess I'll have to work as a fry cook at Fern's Appalachian Hamsteaks before I can figure that out. Ass.
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it's high time for a satire of these films like History Of The World Part I, starring that dumb blonde guy from The OC in the Maximus/Achilles/Alexander stoic hero part and Will Ferrell as the corrupt, decadent emperor of Rome.
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I was well aware of my heinous grammatical error. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? Calling you a "retarded frat boy" had nothing to do with your spelling, but everything to do with the tone of your piece. I'm sure you can find some juicy spelling and grammatrical errors in this post too. Knock yourself out.
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He obviously forgot about little movies like Spider-man 2 and Harry Potter. Both of which are going to do mad business this summer.
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So Lynndie England's parents tok her to a lot of R-rated movies, huh? No offense, but where did you collect that little piece of data from? Michael Moore?
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It's just a little irresponsible to use her in your argument for more sex and less violence in the media. I understand what you're saying, and I was only half-joking when I said the real reason we censor....certain things is because there are groups out there who are too much trouble to deal with. I wasn't necessarily making a comment on the war, but Michael Moore is infamous for connecting dots that don't belong together in order to enhance his arguments, connections without much or any evidence to show for themselves. It's not a good idea to consciously start smudging the line between fiction and reality, especially in a debate. Anyway, like I said, no hard feelings, that post just sent up a red flag that I wanted to point out. Apologies to all the talkbackers who thought this post was toothless and lame. Maybe you can call Ryan a "retard" some more.
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May 08, 2004 11:09:27 PM CDT
Could you please elaborate on the other characters?!!
by holly golightly
like Peter O'Toole???? possibly?????? or did you think he wasn't that great???? cmon, he couldn't have possibly been that bad for him not to be mentioned????? I blame the other characters~ well not Bean or Bana~ others!
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You know it's not Harry, it's not the news, it's my peers that really really make me despise this site. All a bunch of professional critics when 99% of you have no real talent to gauge up against people who actually make movies (I'm alotting 1% for the dumbass filmmakers who actually visit this site). I agree that this individual who reviewed the film is probably some momo with dellusions of grandure who picked on a project that was easy to pick on, but I will in no way take his opinion to heart when seeing this film for myself. I'm the type of guy who tends to agree with Harry on situations such as his review of Van Helsing. I love going to the movies and feeling like a kid, it's the reason why I love the Star Wars prequels without apology to your ignorant self-important asses. Gee, imagine going into a movie and not picking it apart piece by piece just because the modern viewing audience is more aware of the FX or production process. It think many of you have forgotten the reason why you go to movies and you suck for it. You've made my visits to Aint it Cool unpleasant ones, through no fault of Harry himself. I guess I'm just sick of you all sitting on you asses, talking shit about other peoples efforts when they get up everyday win or lose and bust their asses for a film that all of you (when you're not working fast food) pick apart like your so much smarter. Wake up momos, there's a lot more going on in the world than movie, and in their defense, at least they're trying to entertain us, which is more than I can say about most of your sorry lives. Guess you're a hater if you have a positive attitude in this sucky-ass modern world that we live in. Guess I'm simply sick of synics, what else can I say. You've got nothing to complain about when you really take a good look at things.
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Am I the only one who thinks Troy looks boring and mediocre just from the trailers? Even the supposed money-shots of the thousand ships and the Horse being rolled into the city seem lackluster to me. I'm not surprised to hear this movie isn't engaging.
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First off, AZLAM. On what grounds did you really think I came off sounding like I wanted to be a professional critic in that review?? It's pretty obvious from the language I choose and the way that I write that I'm not exactly writing for the New York Times. All I did was tell you how I felt after viewing the movie, and I was disapointed. "momo with dellusions of grandure" - Are you joking? I watched a movie and gave a pretty simple review before I went out to party and you all act like this is my livelyhood. If you love going to the movies and feeling like a kid, go watch DADDY DAY CARE, movies like Troy are not for you. For me, I like to be intellectually stimulated. My favorite movies are Pi and Waking Life, not some movie like Van Helsing that requires me to turn off my brain before viewing it. I can appreciate movies like that and I enjoy the entertainment, but the fact is, Troy seemed like it could have been a whole lot more, and yet it ended up being so much less. And, loved the Star Wars prequels??? Weak man, seriously weak. Did you not hear the line "I hate the sand, it's rough, I like you, you're soft and smooth . . . [cue kiss]"??? You ramble on for a while in there about absolutely nothing. It sounds more like you're trying to lick Harry's balls then say anything meaningful. The fact is, for calling everyone ignorant, you need to take a step back, read what you wrote, and then decide who the ignorant one really is. TO DARTH SCARFACE: Come on. I go to Northwestern. Of course I know who Peter O'Toole is. I'm pretty sure I mentioned earlier I was in a rush when writing that review, so I tried only to mention the important parts. Honestly, did any of you really want me to analyze every aspect of the film? He was actually decent in the film, most notably in a certain scene with Brad Pitt, which I felt was probably the only scene in the whole film that really made me feel emotion for these characters. But his role is not very large, even though he is onscreen for a large portion of the movie. Besdies that one scene, he basically listens to arguments, and then makes a one sentence decision each time. Not exactly a lot of depth to be discussed. Not exactly a performance that stuck out in my mind thereafter. Darth, before you want to insult me again, you'd better tell me a bit about yourself, because I'm bored of being put down by people who couldn't last a day at this college. Then again, you would have to be just as smart as this 'frat boy' to get in here in the first place, wouldn't you?
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First off I wasn't even directly refering to your review I was making a generalization about why I hate this site. When I used the term "professional critic" I wasn't using it to describe your review, far from it. Choose your fights carefully friend, because there are a lot of people out there who were taking shots at your words, I wasn't necessarily one of them. You are obviously a wanker though and a bad example of the quality education coming from you school. Cheers.
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This is a first, I actually agree with someone from this site. I've had enough of internet tough guys myself. My main point is that many people on the damn pooter-net think that sharing what movies you like is a coolness competition and it's okay to be a snob etc. Does this guy honestly think that by me saying that I like the Star Wars Prequels that I was trying to prove how cool I was? Not at this site that's for sure, I'm at least smarter than that. I was simply trying to inject a little bit of honesty into the otherwise fanboy snob contest that is this site. I'm not ashamed about anything I like and I'd tell any of you to your faces too, I do it everyday at school. At least I'm not going around lying just to sound cool. If people don't like what I like then good for them, I'm not trying to change their minds just open them. There's no reason why we should just go around and crap on everything that has flaws and if any of you think you're ever going into the movie industry with that kind of attitude I hope you luck out and work for Tarantino or someone who's been lucky not to have a clunker, cause a lot of you won't be sleeping well when you realize that there are people cooler than you working on movies you hate. By cooler than you I mean people who actually make the films, not the people who sit around all day and tear apart the efforts of others. The latter profession is much easier to get. That's the way the world goes 'round. And with that I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.
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I'm pretty sure you mean psyched. What are you studying at university? Beer bottle labels and rizzla packets?
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As we all know an UNKNOWN ACTOR who is credible and belivable in the part is 100 times more effective than A BIG STAR who has great hair, nice eyes and graces the cover of "Teens in Need".
So It seems dissapointing to me (from what I've heard and seen) that the studio behind TROY havent taken anything at all from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. EPICS BY NUMBERS DONT WORK ANYMORE!!
No matter how many movie stars you have, no matter how experienced the director is.
To do something that is original, fresh and that will endure, you need to take RISKS, RISKS with your casting, your direction, and your money - then you get something special. (Original Star Wars, Lord of the Rings etc)
Or maybe I should just shut my hole and go and see the movie first.
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I will still go to see the movie to make up my own mind about it. At the very worst all I have wasted is
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May 09, 2004 11:52:55 AM CDT
You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of a-holes who think that n
by fluffyunbound
It isn't about being a CYNIC or not. It's about MOVIES SUCKING, whether they aim for the 9 year old set or not. I would gladly sit down right now and watch the "Babe" DVD [actually, I think I may go do that right now]. If USA shows "Field of Dreams" today for the 300,000th time, I will probably watch at least a few minutes of it. I will do this not to tell myself that I am cool, or because these are hip, edgy films [they are probably two of the most un-"synical" [sic] films around] but because they are GOOD. You know, well-made films that don't make you cringe when you watch them. I am perfectly willing to give "Troy" a chance - but if it sucks, IT SUCKS, and I won't give it a pass because you think I should be willing to turn my brain off when I go to the movies. The brain is what we enjoy movies WITH. By definition you should leave it on. And if a movie like "Babe" can be well made while still appealing to an audience of all ages from 4 up, then it obviously isn't about surrendering to the inner child - because that's not necessary. You just need filmmakers to not screw up.
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...to see someone actually defend themselves, after handing in a review. But he did leave himself wide open with the "no naked Helen" bit - then again, it was just humour. So when a bad review is given, everyone thinks the film will be great and will absolutely not be affected by the reviewer's opinion. And when a good review is handed in, everyone believes that the film cannot be that great, and proceeds to bash it. Yeah, makes sense......people should get a life.
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WTF is "siked?" So the movie didn't look ridiculous but it was literally bad. So "ridiculous" is the new "bad" among the hipsters? So if the movie was good you might say, instead of baddass that it was "ridiculousased!"
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May 09, 2004 4:04:26 PM CDT
Hans Zimmer's Gladiator music sucked. Am I the only person annoy
by bill maher
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I am sorry but I just cannot believe this review came from a student at Northwestern. They don't even teach rudimentary spelling at universities, anymore? Is the word you're going for "psyched" as in psychology pumped up for the movie? Or are you trying to invent a new word, based on some root word that I've never heard of? Is it "spiked" without the "p" or "striked" without the "tr"? I'm just curious
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Bloody frat boy is disappointed that there were no knockers? Come on already. Wise up Harry. Don't let morons like this befoul your site with garbage ( even though it already is)
Check out Dark Horizons. much better -
I don't dislike dreck like The Mummy because it's "cool" not to like it, but because I don't find poor acting, directing, editing, and special effects to be fun. Everyone says just have fun. How the hell can I when every line of dialogue makes me grit my teeth. I've seen enough action and monster movies that simply having a wolfman showing up does not a "fun" movie make. Just because there is a large battle between Greek armies does not make a film "fun". Moviegoers can have their cake and eat it too. A good filmmaker get make a film aimed at a younger crowd and still make a quality film. You can still have loads of special effects and have good acting and writing right along with it. So excuse us cynics for demanding a little more. WIthout people like us you would have nothing but Van Helsing garbage all year 'round.
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Excuse me but ummm, his character DID kill Achilles by shooting him the heel with a bow according to legend. Check out Edith Hamilton's "Mythology" for reinforcement of this.
I am mildly annoyed when people complain out of ignorance. -
First Grando and SG7: Real original guys. I can't believe you noticed the incorrect spelling of psyched. No one had mentioned that yet in any talk-backs. Thank you very much dipshits. I've already covered that so read over the talk-backs for you comment.
LETTERSOFTRANSIT: I like your comment the best. Why? Because, in trying to put me down by defining "psyched," you managed to mess up the definition, ie. "as in psychology pumped up for the movie." What, may I ask, is psychology pumped up?
Caerlas: I've already discussed this in an earlier talk-back. Read them over before making redundant comments. -
fuck shrek, unless you're R. Kelly, then Shrek will have gotten you laid about a thousand times because of that film.
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May 09, 2004 8:28:18 PM CDT
In response to the reviewer in his response to the talk backers
by man w no name
Well, duh Orlando Bloom's lines are going to be delivered awkward, and be awkward, he's surrounded by a huge army b/c he stole some guys bitch. hundreds of thousands of people's lives, not to mention his father's kingdom, are all in jeapordy because he stole another man's woman. I don't think I'd be cool, calm, collective, and say everything the way they should be said either. I don't know..that's just me though.
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Do yourself a favor, Mr. Rush going to a party. I'm sure few are impressed by your dropping of the Northwestern name over and over again. Many people who view this site go to or have gone to good schools. This is not a knock on you. But it makes you come across as immature when you have to repeatedly proclaim your intelligence and justify that claim with the name Northwestern. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort to get the grades in high school. Defend your position. I would too. But do it with your words, not your school.
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I honestly think this guy has had enough of nit pickers who come and critisize everything of his. if you ALREADY cant spell or use grammer properly anyway, then dont say anything!!!
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What kind of SAT scores do you need to get into Northwestern these days? 12 or better??? My hamster Heinlein spells better than that.
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This guy really goes to Northwestern?
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May 10, 2004 12:22:31 AM CDT
I go to Northwestern and I think this movie sucks. At Northwest
by felatiohornblowr
Well, dude, you make quite a convincing argument, I must say. And it's nice to see that students at Northwestern have enough free time to make repeated postings to a bullshit internet movie site in defense of an indefensibly horrible movie review. I can only assume Harry has ill will for this film if he's resorting to posting crap like this. Hell, I'd settle for a few good plants, positive or negative, over this garbage. Sometimes plants are fun to read, especially in hindsight. Remember the raves about the Mr. Hyde makeup in LXG? Looking back, that was funny stuff.
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ComicBookGeek77....there is no Diomedes in the movie, so yes they made a pretty hacked, Cliff Notes job of the book (hell, Diomedes should've been in the Cliff Notes anyways, beginning to wonder if the book was even read by the writers since they were in high school)
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May 10, 2004 4:00:05 AM CDT
Paris fires a bow and arrow in the original poem you ignoramuses
by krylite
Go look up Virgil's Iliad, at least an English translation in the library. Even the gods(Athena? Hera?) helps guide the arrow to its target. Granted, could be a big reason why Bloom was even cast as Paris. I for one think Bloom has potential; they probably gave him shit for his script parts so far.
Are there any more good directors of war scenes than Peter Jackson or Ridly Scott? It looks like Lucasschool of CGI directing has infected everyone directing in Hollywood. I was looking forward to Troy even though the trailer bit with thousands of ships looked ridiculous. At most , even in the battles of Mitylene there were only a couple hundreds of ships in the whole Greek fleet. -
in our media. After all, places like france (who allow sex all over the place) do have high numbers of people addicted to pornography. I'm sure there are a few others. Maybe if we reduce the amount of teasing (half naked women and men) on television and other mediums, there won't be so many frustrated people around. Just a thought.
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May 10, 2004 7:09:52 PM CDT
Northwestern called...they'd like you to stop telling people you
by minderbinder
Thank you.
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May 10, 2004 10:11:37 PM CDT
Krylite, you got both the name of the poet and the name of the p
by fluffyunbound
Please don't call people ignoramuses if you don't have your facts right.
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Hopefully.
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I try to give all movies a chance, and can sincerely enjoy summer fluff, but some movies are crappy. OTOH, some of the people here could lighten up a bit. OTOH, if you don't like the user comments you don't have to read them. Can't we all just get along???
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Troy seems to have potential. However, this movie is rated R not for the violence but most likely for the comprehension of the material. The story is very complicated and I am sure for anyone who has read the Illiad such as myself this movie is a good epic treat. There is no way the Illiad can be told in less than 3 hours on film. However, take the movie for what is worth which, is great battle scenes a crap load of extras and plain simple movie making with minimum CGI effects...keep that shit in the LOTR fantasy world (by the way I liked the Trilogy but some stuff looked entirely too cheap).
To conclude this posting, for people who need to see a Naked Helen just keep to your every day computer porn and out of the damn movie theater...you make the seats sticky anyway. -
http://www.herorealm.com/Movies/Troy.htm haha Troy is gonna suck.
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i'd like to withdraw my defense for this idiot. i read his own talk backs, and man... duh. do not write a movie review while prepring for a hangover!! or at least mentally preparing for the headache the next day... it's just bad chemistry. it also is reassuring that me, as an eith grader, can spell better than aN NU goer. i would also like to point out that, ryan, your pervers thoughts about helen arent the only key points of a movie. the singing, well, the yowling bit, you kinda have to have a taste for. you dont. stop complaining. next time just dont bother or wait until you've got a clear head before writing something OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.
best wishes (hope you arent beaten with sticks),
Raven -
hope you had the sense to find my spelling errors. haha
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