Cool News
How about a couple TROY reviews from college screenings'
SPOILER ALERT !!
Ahoy, squirts. Quint here with a couple reviews of Wolfgang Peterson's TROY. While the below reviews vary a tad, they both say that the film is high on entertainment, but light on actual accuracy to the Greek Myths the film is based on. I, for one, can not wait to see this film. Peterson has had me since I was a child and bawled my eyeballs out when Artax gave in to the Swamps of Sadness... Damn that NEVERENDING STORY!!!
Anyway, of the two reviews, one is extremely spoiler-heavy (I must admit I myself stopped reading it after a few key plot points were given away) and the other proclaims to be "Spoiler-free." That one is up first, then the super spoiler one! Here's "Len."
Okay, I just got back from a sneak preview of Troy at Cal tonight. Some
drama and conflict in the showing itself, but you guys don't care about
that, so let's get to it.
This is a review, not a summary. I'm not telling the story after Warner
Bros spent so much money doing it. Nothing but bad karma waiting along
that path.
And let me preface this as saying I'm a bit of a myth geek. The Greek
myths were some of the first things I remember reading as a kid (okay,
the more sanitized ones), and I love the stories and the richness of
those tales, especially those of the Heroic age. But, I'm also
realistic. I wasn't expecting a great degree of accuracy. I was hoping
for some degree of intelligence, but I really went in just expecting a
fun, slice-em-up excuse to turn my brain off for two hours.
Expectations, 1. Hopes, 0. Ah well, story of my life.
Seriously, this does not seem to be a movie made by extremely smart
people. It's a blast to watch, but it's not Homer, it's not myth, and
in all respects, it's very distant from its source material. The
context and background information is changed, the character's
motivations are changed, (okay, maybe not Paris, he's still mostly just
a horny bastard) and even who lives and dies changes. (No spoilers for
you!) The filmmakers do an extremely efficient job of stripping out any
shades of grey in the conflict, making it very much a "Heroes and
Villains" piece.
Now, there's nothing wrong with heroes and villains, except for
something like the Trojan War. This is a story of heroes, plain and
simple, with their flaws and conflicts, but they all earn their titles
in some way. The portrayal of Menelaos and Agamemnon that way is
bordering on criminal, especially given the way the film sets up
Menelaos at the beginning of the movie, with some complexity that had
lot of potential, and that is promptly and conveniently forgotten
twenty minutes in. They're two dimensional, but granted, they're
written that way, so it's not entirely the actors' faults. I like Brian
Cox, but he's in full on megalomaniac mode for this one, and really,
not an interesting character at all. Brendan Gleeson is Menalaos, and
nothing more than a brute flunky for his brother king. He's written
with all the subtlety of a cinder block. They could have put a sign
around his neck that read "You don't like this guy. Trust us." and been
on equal ground. Thus, we have our villains. Well-acted, but thin.
The flick does a bit better when it decides on the heroes, though. Brad
Pitt's performance as Achilles is okay, I guess. His
faux-exotic-aristocratic-Brit accent is interesting, but not terrible.
It didn't pull me out of the movie, anyway. He does shine in the action
sequences, and the fight coordinator gets mad props (I can't believe I
used that phrase) for his work throughout. Orlando Bloom's Paris is
decidedly not a hero, no matter how hard the actor tries, and I think
the movie did a good job of showing his folly. Decent performance,
nothing spectacular. He just looks completely clueless a lot of the
time, though. And I wonder if he should worry about being typecast
after his role in the last act. Eric Bana owned as Hector. Yes, both
bold and italics are necessary. He's the only character that I kinda
cared about for most of the movie. In a better production, he might be
average, but among all the elements of Troy, he shines. Sean Bean's
Odysseus is great, too, but much underutilized. The personified brains
of the Achaeans is alive and well in this script, even if a bit scarce,
and Bean does what he can with it. He's likeable and sympathetic, and
the one character among the Greeks whose motives are as deep as they
are understandable. With the others, it's very cause-and-effect.
Agamamnon's is greed, Menalaos wants revenge, Achilles wants glory, and
the soldiers are along for the ride. Odysseus has depth and conflicts,
even if they're on screen but briefly. Priam's nobility really comes
across in Peter O'Toole's performance, even if the character is a
little overplayed at times. He puts Brad to shame in their scene
together. Though O'Toole really should have closed his eyes a bit. His
eyeballs looked ready to pop out of their sockets in every scene, but
I'm willing to bet he was directed that way. Subtlety in acting doesn't
seem to be Troy's forte.
Enough about the actors, how was the movie? Good. Fun. Mindless. Again,
not the Iliad, but when the credits say "Inspired by" you really should
be warned then and there. The one-on-one fight scenes were great. When
the focus is on the heroes, the direction shines. I want to see the
Hector/Achilles fight again, so I'll probably end up actually buying a
ticket to see the movie in a couple of weeks. All of them are a bit
video-game-fighting'ish, but it works. Unfortunately, when they focus
on the other 500,000-odd people there, the action suffers. The standing
army shots are all nice and impressive (tres Return of the King, maybe,
but I guess that's to be expected) but the actual battles are kinda
dumb. Jump-cuts are back in force. Things are so frenetic that most of
the time it feels like you just see the sword flying across the scene
without any real knowledge of the consequences. It works well enough,
but the direction is simply sub-par in some of them. Instead of the
confusion of war it can feel like a bad music video that's been muted.
In other words, unimpressive and vaguely unsatisfying. Also, on a side
note, these are the stupidest armies ever. Wait for the dawn attack
scene. (The one that looks like something happened to the projector
because the film seems to blank and get really washed out.) No, check
that, wait for the end of the dawn attack scene, and wonder why the
hell the armies just do what they do without question.
On that note, unintentional comedy abounds. Be it from cheesiness,
ham-fisted handling of the material ("See! See! There's an actual
reference! I diid read the epics! ...Cliff's notes."), some bad lines,
or Orlando or Brad looking genuinely confused for a few seconds of
should've-been-edited scene.
The sets were amazing, and to a lesser extent, so was the costuming.
You could feel the majesty of Troy. Basically, production values were
high across the board, with only a few rough edges effects-wise. The
matte paintings/digital matte landscape scenes were also well done, and
low-key. Not low key, on the other hand, was the gratuitous
semi-nudity. No payoff for we gents, however, as we're teased with back
shots or ones juuuust north of where we want 'em. The ladies get a lot
of back shots as well, and plenty of shirtlessness to satisfy them.
Hopehopehope you're not sitting around the ones who'll swoon and
scream, although the odds are really against that possibility.
All in all, a good flick. Fun to watch with friends on a Friday night.
Maybe one to avoid as a date movie, so that your date won't be thinking
about naked actors for the rest of the night. The much-vaunted love
story here is really just a pretense, and an aside to the real action
revolving around Hector and Achilles.
One of my favorite moments is when Hector has some parting words for
li'l bro Paris before Hector goes to meet Achilles. The line is
forgettable, but the visual dichotomy between Eric Bana and Orlando
Bloom just enhances their character traits. Paris looks like a
fourteen-year old innocent punk next to Hector, and the scene just
stuck with me. Other favorite scene: Hector/Achilles fight! (Must
resist temptation to yell "Soryuken!" every time Pitt does his
jump-stab. You'll know which one.)
Also, Ajax needed more ass-kicking time (or a story, but that's crazy
talk!), but that's just my opinion. Watch and see if you agree. I
figure when they go that far, they should just run with it.
Thanks,
-LenAnd now for "Kaylee Frye's" spoilerific and a little more negative look at the film!
Hi Harry!
Just got back from an advance screening of Troy. The theatre was
full of rowdy college students who were looking for a good time.
What we got was a really cheesy movie that made us laugh
throughout...unintentionally.
There are some spoilers ahead...
The two biggest things that were wrong with this movie were the
dialogue and the casting.
Who was bad:
Brad Pitt cannot play an ancient Greek hero. His voice sounds really
silly saying these epic lines. Pitt is a decent actor. I really liked him
in Spy Game. But I didn't buy him for one second as Achilles. I also
remember Achilles in the book as being this burly ugly guy.
Achilles should be a burly ugly guy. It makes a lot more sense. And
well...Pitt ain't either one of those.
Eric Bana was boring! Why do they keep taming this guy down? He
is given nothing memorable to do except die. His wife too, played
by the beautiful Saffron Burrows, is also given no dimension to her
character. These two are very generic. There's even a scene right
before Hector goes out to face Achilles where their tiny baby
outacts both of them. I remember the look on the baby's face right
after Hector kisses him on the forehead far better than any of
Hector's lines. And that's not a good thing.
The person who suffers the most is Orlando Bloom. Yes, he's
playing a scum bag. Yes, Paris is a total tool. But the audience
laughed the most at him. The lines this guy has been given! No
actor could say some of his lines without looking like a total
buffoon. I give him props for keeping a straight face. Peterson also
gives Bloom a lot of close-ups, which is great cause Bloom is a very
handsome guy. But Bloom always looks confused! It's like he didn't
know the camera was on half the time and he's waiting for some
direction, any direction. Poor guy. In addition, none of his love
scenes were very convincing at all. But I don't know, maybe that's
because Benioff never bothers explaining why Paris fell in love with
Helen in the first place. Paris does have a semi-interesting scene
where he grips Hector's leg right after Brendan Gleeson kicks his
ass and hands it to him. The boy can look whipped like a champ.
Who made no impression at all:
Diane Kruger
Rose Byrne
The middle schooler playing Patroclus
Julie Christie (What kind of movie gives Julie fucking Christie one
five minute scene??)
Nestor and Ajax (Ajax gets one scene before he dies. And I could
have sworn that Nestor was played by the same guy who played
Electra's father in Daredevil and was the leader of the slaves in
Stargate. But he's not. But I could have sworn he was! And how cool
is Stargate?)
Who was decent:
Peter O'Toole as Priam. Although he's given some crap lines, at
least he's dignified about the whole ordeal. But what's with him
dying at the siege of Troy? That's a silly addition.
Brendan Gleeson and Brian Cox. These two guys are too cool for
school. Cox is so over the top but it works because Agamemnon is
a crazy over the top guy. He sells it. I'm on board. Gleeson is also
playing a scum bag and he works it. The audience's favorite scene
was Menaleus ripping Paris a new asshole. Who doesn't want to see
Paris get his ass handed it to him and Gleeson tackles his role with
aplomb. But then he dies. And the fun guy leaves the picture.
And, despite the last review you posted, I really liked Sean Bean as
Odysseus. He is given the best line in the whole damn piece ("It is
no insult to say that a dead man...is dead."). Moreover, he is not
given enough to do by a long shot. He's interesting and calculating
and Bean can make any character intriguing. But he just isn't given
enough to do. The screenplay doesn't help by never even
mentioning Odysseus by name (Are we just supposed to assume?
That's the lamest thing imaginable!) and by not even showing his
greatest contribution to the war. Yes it shows the Trojan Horse and
a short silly scene where Odysseus gets the idea for it. But we
never get any sort of pitch. Instead, we awkwardly cut from
Hector's funeral ( or somewhere around there I'm not quite sure) to
a scene of a man running towards the Trojan gates. On the screen
is a title card that says "12 days later". The Trojans then just find
the horse on the beach. It's an extremely awkward cut. I wanted to
see Odysseus go up to Agamemnon and say "So I got this idea..." I
wanted to see a meeting about this. I wanted to hear the ancient
Greek version of "It's so crazy it just might work." I wanted to see
them build it! That would have been far more interesting than the
lagging battle scenes, which played like Helm's Deep only without
the emotional resonance. Instead we get diddly squat!
Benioff did not know how to handle an epic. He did not know what
this movie was about. We are never given a clear indication of who
any of these people are. Despite their buff bods, (And trust me,
much naked man flesh is shown. But no butt of Brad. We get
beheadings and throat slashings and no butt of Brad. Sigh.) I don't
care what happens to these people. And isn't that what good epics
do? Make us care about these little people with their ginormous
problems and big stories?
I was disappointed. The audience was disappointed. I'm on board
with this trend of sword n' sandal epic, but I'm not impressed yet.
If you post this, call me Kaylee Frye.
Thanks!
P.S. The digital tears were painfully obvious. Oy.Hrmmm... Not very encouraging that one... I hope I disagree... I want this movie to kick my ass, but I guess I'll find out on the 10th when I see the flick. This is Quint signing off.
-
+ Expand All
-
Hmmmmm. Troy... Hmmmm....
-
I'm still seeing this, though. I can't be discouraged from it even though I know it's not really Homer.
-
Probably not.
-
why can't hollywood make smart epic films? is it just peter jackson who doesn't treat his audience like 12-year old ADD illiterates incapable of following a plot more complicated than, "hey, he steal my woman, me kill him to get her back!"
please. Go read a book. on second thought, i'll take my own advice... -
David Benioff 's script (excepting any changes that may have happened during production) is one of most re-readable scripts I have even seen. No sarcasm. It is clean storytelling, subtly poetic and easily accessible without the unnecessary verbiage that so many Hollywood screenplays have. I read the script about two years ago and I pull it off the shelf whenever I want to show a friend how you should write. If anybody says Benioff can
-
Implying that the fat troll fuck Peter Jackson is a better writer than Homer is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my entire life. So using your atrocious "logic", Lord of the Rings is nothing more than "Me have stupid little gay ring, me throw ring in fire!" and that fat fuck needed 3 three hour movies to show it. You sir, can suck it.
-
i'm sorry if i implied that PJ surpasses Homer. my comments were not direct towards the orignal text, but rather towards the feeling i got from the review, that of dumbing down the original text to point where high-school drop outs with ADD can follow the archaic language anything not written within the last 5 years. i admire and enjoy the Odyessy and the Illiad, and was merely pointing out that PJ didn't dumb down LotR just to please the dumb sheep that represent the main viewing public. dial back the vitriol, man
-
Kate Beckinsale lifts her skirt, revealing that she's a man baby!
Then Jackman drives a stake through her heart. -
May 07, 2004 7:57:54 PM CDT
EVEN MORE SHOCKING ENDING: BECKINSALE RIPS OFF MY PANTS AND BLOW
by silver shamrock
and she's a bitch while she does it.
-
May 07, 2004 8:53:31 PM CDT
"...light on actual accuracy to the Greek Myths the film is base
by junior frenger
Hmmm...well one always wants to be accurate about the myth. Isn't this a bit of an oxymoron?
-
May 07, 2004 10:08:41 PM CDT
No tits from Diane Kruger? If the guy who made this piece of shi
by bill maher
I might rent the DVD if they show tits in the extended scenes. Otherwise, I'll watch Van Helsing. At least that movie didn't lead me on.
-
Uhmm...Achilles was disguised as a woman until Odysseus tricked him into revealing himself to get him to fight. So....Brad Pitt is prob the best that could be cast to acknowledge his prettiness w/o making him look too unbeleivably prissy.
I so hope this movie is good!
I take solace that my man, Sean Bean, is forever getting props as my hero, Odysseus. Just makes life happy.
-
Cool.
-
ANAKIN SKYWALKER, THESE ARTICLES ARE COMPLETE FABRICATIONS!!!!
come on its funny -
This movie could have ruled.but of course..it doesnt.
Thanks again Wolfgang for another mediocre film!
Its better the Air Force One though. -
PJ never wrote the LOTR story. JRR Tolkien did from 1937 to 1955 and the whole big story was split in three books and release in 1955-1957. It's a classic story with a Cliff-notes you can buy from Borders. PJ spent 12+ hours including Extended Editions trying to fit in the story in a cinematic way. And a lot of it was still cut out otherwise it would need 9 movies instead of 3, something that hack Lucas tried to emulate as he lifted SW off of many elements of LOTR.
-
For the love of Pete!!! Will you morons stop with the Hulk Hogan crap!!! Good Lord, I've never seen something so incredibly un-funny get flogged to death. It's not funny. It never was and it never will be. Get a sense of humor, people...
-
Give this man more roles!
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 439 total posts 159 posts
- WTF HOLLYWOOD: SOLARBABIES -- 144 total posts 142 posts
- Herc’s Seen Tonight’s Return Of THE WALKING DEAD!! Discuss Also DOWNTON ABBEY, FEAR FACTOR, PAN AM, ONCE, SIMPSONS, DYNAMITE, LUCK, SHAMELESS, BAIT CAR, THE GRAMMYS And More!! Sunday Is Sweeps Day 11!! -- 155 total posts 140 posts
- Avid Comic Reader Hercules Does Battle With Tedium During Kevin Smith’s COMIC BOOK MEN! -- 55 total posts 45 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 196 total posts 45 posts
- I am The Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day! No, I’m the Behind the Scenes Pic of the Day! -- 35 total posts 35 posts
- If the Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day drops her pen, pick it up, but don’t look at her legs or else it will be on your record. -- 60 total posts 34 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 127 total posts 32 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 513 total posts 29 posts
- The Sensorties Revisit The Friday Docback (And Still Smell)!! DOCTOR WHO Story #7 Again, The Coming Of Season/Series 7, And More!! -- 118 total posts 27 posts