Cool News
Capone on LAWS OF ATTRACTION
Hey folks, Harry here... Beware Capone is about to make prose-ic love to Julianne Moore... So put on gloves as you scan down his review. Here ya go...
Hey, Harry. Capone in Chicago here. Julianne Moore is absolutely one of my top three favorite actress working today. When looking over her list of film credits, I am amazed at how many of them are top-notch works that feature her displaying a range and power that is unrivaled 99.9 percent of the other film actresses working today. I remember the first time she registered in my mind. She popped in briefly in THE FUGITIVE as a doctor and I never forgot her face. Of course, I never forgot other parts of her when I saw Robert Altman's SHORT CUTS later that same year. Look at these titles: SAFE; VANYA ON 42ND STREET; THE MYTH OF FINGERPRINTS; BOOGIE NIGHTS; THE BIG LEBOWSKI; AN IDEAL HUSBAND; A MAP OF THE WORLD; THE END OF THE AFFAIR; MAGNOLIA; WORLD TRAVELER; FAR FROM HEAVEN; THE HOURS. These are must-see works. Now look at this much shorter list: NINE MONTHS and EVOLUTION. These are two films that stink up any room, and thankfully, these are Moore's only attempts at broad comedy in the last 10 years or so (I'm not counting her cameo in LADIES MAN, but I could). She just doesn't do well with comedies. Moore's latest film, co-starring Pierce Brosnan, is called LAWS OF ATTRACTION...it's a comedy...directed by Peter (JOHNNY ENGLISH, ANTITRUST) Howitt, so it's already got that strike against it...and it's not very good. But I think I can safely say that it is her best work in a comedy. It's called a silver lining, people!
Moore plays Audrey Miller, New York City's top divorce attorney (never lost a case), who own personal life is a mess. She hates dating because, she's learned through work that dating leads to marriage, which brings out the worst in people. She uses junk food as her means of comfort, and her socialite mother (Frances Fisher) has had so much plastic surgery and facial work done that she looks about the same age as Audrey (and she hates being called "Mom" in public). On the verge of getting a prenuptial agreement overturned, leave her female client with a small divorce settlement, we meet Daniel Rafferty (Brosnan), a disheveled divorce lawyer whose just gotten into town and taken over as opposing counsel. His laid-back style and courtroom antics are legendary, and he's never lost a case either. Daniel draws first blood, and the prenup is upheld.
In an effort to discuss the case at hand, get a read on Daniel, and apologize for her inadvertently wrecking his office, Audrey proposes dinner. Daniel proposes drinking, and the two end up in bed. The courtroom scene that follows the next morning is very funny, although totally unbelievable, with Daniel using the previous night's events to his advantage during the proceedings. With Audrey completely out of whack (and wearing no underwear), Daniel's client gets to hold onto most of his money. What follows for the two over the next few months are a series of high-profile divorce cases that find them pitted against each other in passionate battles of wits and strategy (blessedly, these other cases are shown only in a montage). Sometimes she wins; sometimes he does.
Up to this point, LAWS OF ATTRACTION is passable as a fast-paced, quick-talking comedy about two people who are clearly going to end up together. Oops, I hope I didn't ruin anything! Unfortunately, the film features two lead characters that are supposed to be smart but act very dumb. I wasn't a huge fan of last year's INTOLERABLE CRUELTY, but at least the writing and acting wasn't dumbed down and the acting was top-notch. Here, the situations are not based in any kind of reality. The courtrooms don't resemble any on this planet. There's a rock concert featuring a fictional band called The Needles that is about the lamest concert I've ever glimpsed. And when the singer of the band (played by UNDERWORLD and TIMELINE's Michael Sheen) hires Audrey to help him divorce his fashion designer wife (Parker Posey at her absolute most annoying and unfunny), the film starts it's fateful journey into the tank. Both lawyers end up in Ireland to interview the serving staff at a castle owned by the couple to determine whose idea it was to buy the property. Their visit coincides with a local festival, at which the two get drunk and end up in bed again. Only this time, they wake up the next morning married.
When they return to New York, Audrey seems convinced that getting an immediate divorce would be bad for their careers, so they pretend to be a happily married couple, but sleeping in separate bedrooms. Rather than a quick crash and burn, the film makes more of a slow fizzle into nothingness. We know where all of this back and forth is going, so everything leading up to the inevitable conclusion seems like a glorified stall tactic. Brosnan, at least, has a keen sense of timing and does his best to remind us that a good-looking man with a British accent (a la Cary Grant) can be extremely funny. Moore just didn't make me laugh. Although, in her defense, very little in the film did. These characters aren't people' they're sketches of people. In some ways, LAWS OF ATTRACTION reminded me of DOWN WITH LOVE, which had the decency to have some sharp writing and a little flair. Beyond Brosnan, ATTRACTION has no zing, no sense of fun. A comedy about two divorce lawyers tying the knot should have some venom, some bite. But no. Julianne looks great, I'll grant her that, but she's just never going to convince me she can do comedic acting any justice. LAWS OF ATTRACTION is a huge disappointment.
Capone
-
+ Expand All
-
I love her in that hair commercial, I wonder if the drapes match the carpet?
-
Dear Dr Hump.....see "Short Cuts"....the drapes match....And thus, I have the laserdisc! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!
-
Her best movies coincide with her getting naked, FACT.
-
Julianne Moore was also in "Assassins"... which was better than... no, it was crap too actually (sorry Sylvester).
-
Apr 26, 2004 10:03:48 AM CDT
the only rules of attraction are those needed to fight war and w
by john_rambo
There are no RULES in this game. I fight by my own rules, got that you mingy talkbackers! This movie is better suited with John Rambo waving an American flag at the credits and proclaiming 'PEACE IN OUR LIVES'.
Like I always say, it's a lonley road, but it's even lonlier when the rules of attraction are at odds with the abiliy to fight back.
Time to get even! Yo Hollywood, I'm your worst enemy! You hearin me James Bond? Take your puny martini and your machositic pretence! I'm the man you need people! Me, John Rambo - that is who!
-
Why is this here? My curiosity regarding those questions made me read this but by the end those questions remain unanswered. From everything I have seen, and from the review above, this film is a run-of-the-mill Hollywood romantic comedy. Is that what passes for "cool" these days? Is mediocrity the new cool?
-
Apr 26, 2004 10:49:50 AM CDT
I like both lead actors, but it seems like I've seen this film a
by notchjohnson
The poster for "Laws of Attraction" (or whatever the name is) gives this feeling that I've seen this movie many times before. Maybe there's a new hook in it that will make it interesting, but it looks like one of those films I'll see when it shows up on HBO on Saturday afternoon. Notch out. SAVE HOWARD STERN.
-
Julianne always seems to. Plus: cute, but in profile looks like an anvil hit her in the face. A bit overrated and no personality for comedy.
-
Not that it was all that great, but if you're gonna' mention all her films. Not many people woulda' had balls enough to step into that role following Foster.
-
That's all.
-
So why is it here? Why am I typing this? BTW, Julianne Moore is a good comedienne...just watch Big Lebowski. Loved her in Magnolia. I'd like to get her ponytail stuck in my fridge door.
-
Hello everyone there, my name is James Brown, I like those movies with lots o' titties, and this strawberry tart seems to show them quite frequently. But my guess that this movie aint about any of that, its about that whitey agent 007 dude having his nuts cut off and becoming soft, well what a crock, I like it much better on this here site when the jolly fat red man gives me news on those movies that kick my ass, no no, that "donkey punch" my ass after I tried to escape by giving them a cleveland steamer. Well this here flick looks like a cleveland steamer, and like I said before if I gotta go to this flick to hide out and avoid the heat, then I am brining a large bucket of Church's chicken, a 40 of Mickey's and lots and lots of porn. Ya see that is just how I do it, so get out of my way, blaaaaaahhhh.
-
Apr 26, 2004 2:02:07 PM CDT
Who the hell thought people would actually want to see this movi
by doc_mccoy
Lesson one: It's painfully obvious people don't want to see Pierce Brosnan as anything but James Bond. A movie like THOMAS CROWN got away with it because it was an action/heist movie. Lesson two: Julianne Moore is not a mainstream box office draw. General audiences aren't drawn in to see her as a romantic lead, or in a comedic role. Lesson three: these screwball sex comedies just don't play well will modern audiences. Even if this is some sort of post-modern take on the genre, the only people who still seem interested in this brand of humor are the ones who were going to see these movies in the 1960s. See: the failure of DOWN WITH LOVE. The only thing that could have saved this film was glowing reviews, but they're certainly not getting them. R.I.P.
-
Apr 26, 2004 2:38:41 PM CDT
From the trailer this one seemed to bare a remarkable resemblanc
by emmettotter
THE CUTTING EDGE. You know, that movie about the mismatched pair of prima dona figure skater and ex-hockey player. That thing had a fair degree of charm and it helped that the characters were in their mid twenties, if that. To see the same scenario play out between a pair of 40 year olds who should know better is, well, sort of infantile.
-
Apr 26, 2004 3:05:29 PM CDT
There was a rumor that EON Productions actually paid Roger Moore
by frankdrebin
I haven't seen THE TAILOR OF PANAMA, but I did like Brosnan in the THOMAS CROWN remake.
-
Apr 26, 2004 3:39:20 PM CDT
Then how come Roger Moore made a *pile* of fucking attrocious no
by steve_zodiac
North Sea HighJack? Gold? Ffoulkes?? Wild Geese (ok, not that bad), Cannonball Run? And many more.
-
Apr 26, 2004 4:05:18 PM CDT
Isn't Julianne Moore the greedy Relvon whore who by doing those
by youridol
-
Cause no one has answered my question goddammit! I need to know something here, does the red head show off her strawberry ta-tas, cause if not then maybe I will go check out that blondie with the big sharp sword cut up the Asian fish market. You know I tried to do that once, but instead of a sword I had a plunger, and those fish selling bastards hit hard, damn. But I was riding high thanks to my friend Capt'n Jack and we's was having a good old time, but when the Po Po showed up I shit myself, then it was back to my house for me.
-
Apr 26, 2004 5:55:16 PM CDT
...and what about "Rules of Attraction", this title already exis
by robofag
-
Tog Gun`s the gayest blockbuster of all times since Ben Hur! Kilmer says to Cruise: "You can ride on my TAIL whenever you want!". Nuff said!
-
Guys... saw this one at the Phoenix Film Festival friggin' THREE WEEKS AGO. WTF? How does this rate as "cool news?" Oh yeah... that's because this site didn't cover the Phoenix Film Festival. It's only the premiere film event in the 6th largest (and growing) city in America. This year's event (4th annual)attracted over 10,000 attendees and yet you numb-nuts at AICN couldn't manage to scrape together a single article about it. Shame on you guys. For those who give a hoot, LAWS OF ATTRACTION was one of the "Showcase Features" at the Phoenix Film Festival, not in competition. Good thing, because the competition features blew this piece of studio drek away. --You've been Thumped!
-
His best work, in my humble opinion, was in The Tailor of Panama. With so many years of Bond under his belt and the public opinion of him being what it was, he couldn't have picked a better time to play the REAL James Bond if he were the spy they portray in the movies (i.e. disgraced reject from one country to the next, humping his way from office to office before deciding to con the government out of money) and his performances, comic timing and simple expression were effortlessly brilliant. I adore The Tailor of Panama, along with the rest of the cast, there was a cracking script and good strong plot, toss in the ecentricities and it was all solid gold. Couldn't care less about this shit though ... Moore? Please. She's mediocre. At best.
-
Bad word of mouth from the public (with the exception of the media critics who are licking QT's ass like that dog on the Got Milk commercial who's licking peanut butter) makes the shit fest drop 50%. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ...let me catch my breath..................................HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ...OH SHIT, I just blew a load on her ass!!!!!!!!!!
-
Apr 26, 2004 8:02:38 PM CDT
Does Pierce Brosnan really seem "at ease" like they say in the c
by 007-11
Why the hell would they put that in a commercial?
-
MAKE HARRY STOP SHITTING EGGS! MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE, MY EYES! MY EEEEYYYEEEEEESS!
-
I Agree with Big Jim.
-
Apr 28, 2004 9:08:34 PM CDT
This has to be bad--they had to use an Earl Dittman quote in the
by frankdrebin
For those of you who don't know Earl Dittman, he's a "quote whore" who will say anything to get his name in print. He supposedly writes for "Wireless Magazine", but Film Threat searched and there is no such thing. And he doesn't even bother writing reviews, he just e-mails delirious quotes to the studios. So this film has got to be a stinker!
Readers Talkback
User Login
Top Talkbacks
- Whitney Houston 1963 - 2012 -- 383 total posts 380 posts
- New JUDGE DREDD post production footage pops up -- 111 total posts 111 posts
- WTF HOLLYWOOD: SOLARBABIES -- 75 total posts 73 posts
- HANNA's Saoirse Ronan to boss around seven little people -- 71 total posts 68 posts
- Does ‘SNL’ Rhyme With ‘Deschanel’?? Learn Which SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Vet Hosts After Sexy Zooey!! -- 77 total posts 55 posts
- If the Behind the Scenes Pics of the Day drops her pen, pick it up, but don’t look at her legs or else it will be on your record. -- 54 total posts 48 posts
- There's a STAR TREK video game that is going to lead into JJ's STAR TREK 2 apparently... -- 165 total posts 41 posts
- Herc’s Seen Tonight’s Return Of THE WALKING DEAD!! Discuss Also DOWNTON ABBEY, FEAR FACTOR, PAN AM, ONCE, SIMPSONS, DYNAMITE, LUCK, SHAMELESS, BAIT CAR, THE GRAMMYS And More!! Sunday Is Sweeps Day 11!! -- 41 total posts 41 posts
- To Commemorate The 3D Release Of STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, George Lucas Wants You To Know...Greedo Shoots First!! -- 500 total posts 35 posts
- Avid Comic Reader Hercules Does Battle With Tedium During Kevin Smith’s COMIC BOOK MEN! -- 28 total posts 28 posts