Cool News
Pyul MacTackle eviscerates THE PUNISHER
Harry here... Pyul only scratches the surface of how awful this film is. Seriously. Read and only imagine the horror that awaits the fool that enters a theater playing this film. BEWARE!
Hey Harry,
"The Punishment Begins April 16, 2004." Talk about truth in advertising. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could be closer to the truth. And while I'm still not quite certain what it is exactly that I've done - probably something karmic, biting me in the ass for something I did in a past life - punishment has found me and reamed me six ways from Sunday. You know, maybe it's not me. Maybe, just maybe, this is some global fanboy punishment from God himself on high, utterly pissed that we as a fanbase would dare support a movie about a demon from Hell when we could have gone and seen the movie about his son again. Either way, your punishment is coming. It's stalking you from the shadows, enticing you with insane early reviews promising a fun gritty Frankenheimer-esque thrill ride, taunting you with a big name villain and a proven actor in the role of the hero. You want to see it, you know you do. You're an Ain't it Cool News reader. Comic Book movies are the gravy on the mashed potatoes of your life. Nothing in your soul can keep you from missing this, even if you do wait for it on video. You must see the Punisher. You know why?
Because you too deserve punishment.
The Punisher is ass, sheer, raw B-grade movie ass, upon which festering pimples threaten to burst at any moment. This movie is such a spectacular failure that it has to be seen to be believed for words alone cannot describe just how terrible Jonathan Hensleigh's attempt at film making really is. But I'll try, by God I'll try.
This movie will have you begging, pleading - nay - praying for Dolph Lundgren to show up. Oh yes. You will pine for Louis Gosset Jr's gritty cop on the trail of a misguided anti-hero. You will desire hours and hours of motorcycle rides through the sewers. You'll even wish you could see those silly calling card knives with the cool skull on the hilt. You'll actually want to be anywhere but in a theatre showing this mindless drek, because this movie fails to entertain on every level. It is, Hands down, the worst theatrically distributed film I've seen this year. And it's gonna be a tough one to beat.
First and foremost, despite being called "The Punisher", this movie bares little resemblance to the comic book character it's supposedly based upon. To call this a loose adaptation of the material doesn't do this justice. 1998's Godzilla was a spot on faithful crowd pleaser of an adaptation compared to this flaccid attempt. Oh sure, there's a guy dressed in black with a big white skull on his shirt that everyone CALLS Frank Castle. But he's not Frank Castle. Not THE Frank Castle anyway. (Note: my loathing and hatred of this film goes far beyond my attachment to the character, so stay with me. I've got to start somewhere and this is as good a place as any.)
You see, The Punisher is THE Vigilante. He makes Batman look like some sissy tool of the system, what with his constant crisis of conscience. The Punisher is a psychopath. He's a guy who saw some really fucked up shit in Vietnam and came back to start a new life and a new family. But one day, while on a picnic in the park, his family is gunned down in the crossfire of two rival gangs - and Frank Castle snaps. No one protected his family and the police couldn't prosecute those who had wronged him. Someone had to do something. All of the costumed crazies that called themselves heroes were always busy fighting other costumed lunatics and tearing the city apart piece by piece. No one bothered with the drug dealers, the thugs, the mob. Those were small potatoes to the likes of the Fantastic Four. Someone had to protect all the other families out there - and so that's what Frank Castle did. He dropped out of society, became a ghost and one by one killed off those who threatened the lives of the innocents around them. He brought punishment with the business end of an M-16. But Frank Castle, the real Punisher, was deeply flawed. Sure, his intentions were good, but when all was said and done, he was not.
The Punisher of the comics is a character of legend. He's the modern age comic book version of Clint Eastwood's Man with No Name, Steve McQueen's Bullit and Charles Bronson's Paul Kersey all rolled into one semi-costumed package. But that's not the Punisher Jonathan Hensleigh gives us. In fact, it's not even the Punisher he tries to give us.
Instead, this Frank Castle (henceforth referred to as PITMO, Punisher in Trademark Only) is an FBI agent whose family is killed out of revenge for a bust gone bad that leaves a Crime Lord's son dead. This isn't random violence. This is revenge, pure and simple. And after watching his family die and being left for dead himself, PITMO then sets out to avenge this act of revenge. Not to serve the ultimate cause of justice, not to right any wrong, not to protect anyone's family. To get cold, methodical revenge. Okay, fine, you want to throw the entire concept of the Punisher right out the fucking window? That's cool. At least he's still a bad ass, right?
Um, no. PITMO, as it turns out, really isn't all that good at the whole vigilante thing. Oh sure, he knows how to soup up an old muscle car and turn it into Road Warrior: the Home Game. And somewhere along the line he developed the magical power to pull illegal 8lb explosives out of his ass on a whim. He has even managed to put together an assortment of firepower so large that Homeland Security would shit a brick even getting a whiff that this much weaponry existed, but keeps it in an unprotected, low rent apartment that an 8 year old with a credit card could break into and every criminal in town seems to know it's location. No, despite PITMO's acumen for getting all the right tools for the job, he has no clue what to do with them.
PITMO makes every mistake in the book. He all but spells out his agenda at a police press conference. He lets the villains know he's alive and looking for them. Hell, he spends the bulk of the film getting his ass kicked all over Florida by low rent hoods like professional wrestler Kevin Nash in a bad dye job (almost as bad as Thomas Jane's) and a Johnny Cash El Mariachi knockoff. Yes, the Punisher, gets his ass kicked consistently. By goons. But all of this ass kicking leads up to the ultimate in revenge, right?
Um, negatory on that. No, instead, PITMO attempts to recreate a half-assed, b movie version of Titus Andronicus, forcing our villain to get revenge for him not because he plays upon the Villains nature, but rather, because the villain is actually dumber than he is. In fact, if this movie departs from the comic medium in any way whatsoever, it's that rather than pitting a superhero against a worthy super villain, it pits a mental midget against a Special Olympics bronze medallist.
Now we're told repeatedly just how badass PITMO is supposed to be, just like we're told how evil his rival, Saint (John Travolta), is supposed to be. But he never actually shows it. I mean, we're told twice that he speaks six different languages, but does he once speak anything other than English? Nope. Why? Because that would require subtitles and the target audience of this film isn't one that's all about that whole readin' writin' thing. Really. PITMO is a high school dropouts wet dream: A Muscle car driving loner who sucks down Wild Turkey, is lusted after by the plain Jane waitress that lives in the apartment next to his and has every cool weapon you can find in the back room of a gun show. That he does nothing but pick fights he can't win only further cements him as someone that audience can identify with.
But PITMO is far more than a bad revenge film. It's also a wacky comedy rife with kooky neighbors and terrible one liners. I shit you not. This film tries to add comedy and levity to such a degree that it almost becomes satirical, as if Jonathan Hensleigh actually set out not to honor the Punisher, but to bury him. If the Overweight comic who lives next door (played by comedian John Pinnette, famous for his classic stand up routine "You go now! You been here four hours. You eat vegetable!") isn't enough to tickle your funny bone, then perhaps John Travolta yucking it up about the death of his loved ones will have you rolling in the aisles. Yeah. Actually, the funniest bits in this movie are the unintentional ones. Those classic moments where Thomas Jane tries with all of his might to sound cool but instead comes across like that 30 year old friend of yours who still lives in his parents basement. When he says "God's gonna sit this one out," it takes all you can muster just not to say "Yeah, whatever, just don't forget my six pack of tallboys while you're at the store, dillweed."
But it's not like Thomas Jane isn't trying. To his credit, at least he's got the Frank Castle voice down. I mean he SOUNDS like a comic book vigilante should sound. Unfortunately, everything he's given to say is simply ridiculous and not worthy of either Thomas Jane or The Punisher. And then there's John Travolta. Frankly, I don't think he even bothers to read his scripts anymore. He's probably just happy to film on location shoots just so he has an excuse to fly back and forth across the country.
I don't even want to talk about Roy Schieder. Talk about screwing one of the old school greats with his pants on.
But where the script fails to accomplish being truly terrible, the camera work more than makes up for it, assuring that this movie looks and feels like the worst of the low budget 80's actioners. I mean, when I saw PITMO wielding that bow, I was taken back to another 1989 action schlock classic 'Next of Kin' and instantly reminded just how much better a film it was.
And I swear, If I see a superhero leave his calling card by lighting shit on fire in the shape of his trademarked logo one more time, I'm gonna beat someone down with a stick. This turns out to be the movies greatest punchline, proving once and for all that PITMO is nothing but a pathetic wannabe, not worthy to stand among the ranks of even Steel or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Honestly, this is what happens when you cross Death Wish with 2 Fast 2 Furious while cranking up the butt rock on your brothers Camero.
Really, you don't deserve this, no one does. In fact, I'm certain that this film constitutionally qualifies as cruel & unusual punishment in most of the continental United States and will only find itself on prison televisions here in Texas (where cruel & unusual means we don't throw the switch before we plug you in, just to fuck with you.)
It's funny. The original 1989 Punisher turned out to be the final feature film directing gig for Mark Goldblatt, who then returned to editing Michael Bay films. If quality is any indication, Jonathan Hensleigh should return to writing movies for Mark to edit any day now.
Pyul Mactackle
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Another comic book turned into a pile of shit. Spidey 2 will save the day, thank god.
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Just when I thought it wasn't worth time hitting this site any more, along comes someone who holds nothing back but does it in the context of a sincere and smartly written review. I knew this movie was probably going to suck spunk, but it's fun to read the passion of Pyul all the same.
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Muhahhahhahha
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ouch
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whoever isn't a fan of "welcome back frank" isn't going to like this movie.
One liners? Average plot? Tongue in cheek approach to the punisher?
Yep, sounds like Ennis to me. I'll still enjoy the movie I'm sure. -
Fuck this whiny bitch. We established that the origins were changed a long time ago. Get over it. This movie was cool. It kicked Lundgren all over the place. Now you all may rape me for liking it...starting...now.
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Apr 13, 2004 6:13:50 PM CDT
I TAKE IT THAT HARRY AND HIS FRIENDS DID NOT GET THE PAYCHECKS T
by bendevil
WHATEVER, I'M OFF TO SEE THE 10TH ANNIVERSERY OF "CLERKS" FOLLOWED BY A Q&A BY THE ENTIRE CAST, WHICH WILL BE FILMED FOR THE 10TH ANNIVERSERY EDITION DVD. GOD BLESS THE ARCLIGHT.
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Apr 13, 2004 6:18:27 PM CDT
Give it up, Harry. Negative Punisher reviews won't help Hellboy
by gere's assgerbil
That movie is sinking faster than Ben Affleck's career.
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Apr 13, 2004 6:28:31 PM CDT
So is this more conspiracy to get people to see Kill Bill vol 2.
by rcamacho2278
I dunno man, I am believing that this movie is THAT bad, I think i'll download and determine if it was worthy of my potential 10 bucks.
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Whether most of us end up liking it or not, the target audience for this movie are the people that frequent sites like AICN. I'm taking the day off of work to see Kill Bill vol 2 on Friday, but I'll probably go see The Punisher a day or two after that, see, both movies can get my money, you guys can stop with the critical overkill for KBs competition. Even if it's not great, I'm betting it'll be better than Catwoman and all the Batman movies since the second one, heck, even the trailers are better than those.
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Apr 13, 2004 6:33:34 PM CDT
Harry is stupid and fat and didn't pay attention to the movie
by siegeofgondor
His review said the Russian has one line that sounds stiff and awkward.
Harry you inbred toaster strudel that wasn't said by the Russian, that was said by the old guy that saves castle in the beginning of the movie, you know, like an hour before the Russian even appears?
If you're going to shit on a movie, get your facts right and stop writing notes on ding dong wrappers -
Hellboy got some good reviews, and a lot of people were eager to see it, why did it only make 40 something million?
Me thinks cuz WOMEN didn't want to see it. THATS why!!!
But I got a hard time following reviews and talkback opinions on this site, they all seem to be negative about something. but maybe it's time marvel DID fail in the super hero department. -
Take a look at this: http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=trailer&id=1808472690&intl=us I think it is fair to say, that the movie can
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http://www.filmjerk.com/nuke/article885.html
This seems to be more well written than both Pyuls and Harrys "reviews", and guess what? It -
...this movies success or failure doesn
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http://www.thepunishercomics.com/archives.html
Seems that the actual fans, meaning the ones that care about the character, like the movie just fine. If that makes us illiterate or whatever in the eyes of those that praise crap like Armageddon or Poolhall Junkies, so be it. -
This review fills me with confidence.
Why?
Because the Punisher of the comics is a shitty character that never had a better than middling artistic run. Any review that starts off with "I love this character and I hate what they've done with him" is a positive in my book.
This will not do well anyway; I'm surprised Harry and Co have so much bile when they know for a fact the audience for this is all going to see "Kill Bill Vol. 2" FIRST. Sheesh! -
Sounds like this is another example of Hollywood's inability to produce action flicks like it did in the 80s and into the early 90s. We don't have the stars or directors anymore to pull them off. Compare PAYBACK to COMMANDO. Compare END OF DAYS to DIE HARD. Compare XXX to RAMBO. Compare FAST & FURIOUS to PREDATOR. Hell, compare LETHAL WEAPON 4 to LETHAL WEAPON.
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Why is anyone surprised? This is a definite B O M B.
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The comic world (marvel universe) is filled with good guys who simply can't do the vigilante thing. It's super rare for a comic hero to actually KILL someone, no matter how much they deserve it. The punisher fills that role. He's not afraid to pump someone full of lead and watch them bleed out. It's his kind of justice. In the marvel universe he fills a niche that needs filling. He's somewhat unique. In Hollywood however, this is an old tired story that's been done and redone and redone over and over. Another vigilante with guns shooting the bad guy and getting revenge. Death Wish comes first to mind, but there are dozens of others. This movie just didn't need to be made. Somebody thought that since spider man and the hulk are good selling comics that were made into money making movies, The Punisher would also be a good bet. Dumbasses. Maybe if they had stayed absolutely true to the comic it could have been good, but this might as well be called Death Wish:TNG
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Apr 13, 2004 7:46:24 PM CDT
Conspiracy to get people to see KILL BILL 2? But what of CONNIE
by charles grady
The gayest, shrillest movie of all time, CONNIE AND CARLA opens this Friday, too. For those who thought that Bette Midler and Nathan Lane in ISN'T SHE GREAT was just TOO testosterone-heavy.
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JELO-DC doesn't "sell out;" they don't retain control over the film versions of their characters precisely because they ARE owned by WB. Hence DC's eagerness to maintain distance from the upcoming Catwoman film and the way it butchers the excellent job DC is doing with her in her current comics.
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Tomvee - you're calling Commando a well made action film? Are you on crack? It's one of the all-time cheesefests. "I eat green berets for breakfast". WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Anyone wanna bet that Pyul looks and acts exactly like the other geeky character in the film (i.e. not the socially awkward, effeminate, fat one)? Any takers? Anyone?
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Bush Sucks? - Well I won't enter that debate, but you suck harder than Monica. A "First poster" and dillweed who makes a twitty political comment in the same post- AND mentions to not say anything else?
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Could you be more lame?
(Well I'll take that hardball question for you since you are onbviously a bit slow)
- answer: NO
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we get shaun of the dead in the UK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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AND in the same "First Post" Manages to be SECOND!!!
What a loser.
Oh --- and
- Thanks Mc-T: Your review has just officially saved me from the Punishment I was about to self-inflict by watching this movie.
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Apr 13, 2004 8:09:15 PM CDT
Who cares about Punisher? Rebeca Romijn & Stamos have split up!
by gheorghe zamfir
Which means jack shit for me, but maybe it'll make for some awkward moments on Conan.
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If Robert Rodriguez had a movie in theaters this weekend just imagine the thrashing Punisher would have gotten! Did Harry review "Once upon a time in Mexico"? Now that movie sucked ass. The first preview for the Punisher was better than that turd. FYI Commando is the greatest tongue-in-cheek actioner ever made. Fucking Brilliant! "What did you do with Sally?" "I let him go."
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Pyul is distinguishing himself as a great reviewer... it's worth having movies this bad if the payoff is reviews this excellent. Best laugh I've had in ages... I actually LOLed.
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I don't believe this review at all. I've seen a lot of clips of the movie and I like every single frame I see. I've been a Punisher fans since the 80s and I think Ennis's version is incredible--I'm excited the writer used Ennis's material. I don't mind that Frank's history is redone. It HAD to be. I'm seeing it first matinee this Friday.
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Apr 13, 2004 8:30:59 PM CDT
"not worthy to stand among the ranks of even Steel or The League
by plzbgentle
all I can say about that statement is...wow! We may talking about the seventh circle of badness here.
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I have to see this movie, if only because I can't believe that it is so irredeemably bad.
I enjoyed the Hulk (it took itself a tad serious -
The man also edited and co-edited both Terminator movies and true lies and was 2nd unit director on Robocop. If he's good enough for Cameron he's good enough for me. And yes Commando is a joyous masterpiece, guess who edited that?
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Apr 13, 2004 9:39:21 PM CDT
THANKS FOR THE REVIEW. NOW I'LL GO SEE IT. IF IT'S NOT AS BAD AS
by el zar
Yup. That about sums it up.
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Apr 13, 2004 10:29:37 PM CDT
I HOPE EVERYONE WHO APPLAUDED WHEN THOMAS JANE ASKED IF HE SHOUL
by genro
Yeah, you dumb assholes who lap it up at every goddman convention no matter what the actors say...you stupid bastards have probably ruined this dude's career because you whooped it up like the starfuckers you are and helped convinced this poor guy this nightmare was a good idea - WHEN THE REST OF US WERE SCREAMING "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM JON HENSLEIGH"!..good job dorks, way to bury a man...next time some actors asks you en masse if they should take a role, preface your answer with "please remember we're spazzes..."
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It doesn't capitalize on a particular zeitgeist, and it doesn't really show people anything they haven't seen before, and in order to be a smash, you gotta nail at least one of those two. It's a great remix and redux of the last decade of high budget sci-fi movies. But...yeah. it's a pity, too. I liked it. Anyone see the new Spidey-2 trailer? It looks really good. Though something about Toby Mcguire running around risking his life in order to save KRISTIN DUNST irks me. Bland character, bland actress, bland character motivation. They coulda at least gotten a playmate with mediocre acting abilties to play Mary Jane. At least i'd understand Peter Parker's motivation to risk his life for her ass. Bawahah.
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...BUSH SUCKS ASS!
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...many reviews say it's good. Some like this one say it's bad. I guess I'll just have to watch it for myself to find out. What I definitely will NOT watch, however, is Kill Bill volume 2. Why, you ask. I refuse on principle to pay twice to see one movie. It sets a bad precedent that the studios should not witness lest they get ideas. Likewise, I will not pay twice to rent the DVDs. One day in the future Kill Bill (Vol. 1 AND 2) will be available as a single set the way it was originally intended. Then and only then will I pay money to see it.
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Hellboy was not a good movie. Ron Pearlman was awesome in it but the film all together was not a good product. not sure why it got so many good reviews. i assume its because of Ron Pearlman.
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You know maybe some people will like parts of this movie as some parts didn't totally suck like ahooker on two dollar Tuesday. But seriously, I saw it at the preview last thursday and it really made me miss Dolph. These reviews are fairly accurate and actually quite reasonable. Wait for the video release because this one really does not work.
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Guess i'll be taking a pass on this one. As if the trailer didn't already have me convinced. 'twas an ill conceived project from day one. M
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Apr 14, 2004 1:22:06 AM CDT
"Maybe this is global fanboy punishment from God himself on high
by commando cody
Actually more people DID go see the Son again. In case you didn't check out the weekend's box office news, THE PASSION was back at #1 and has now officially moved passed THE TWO TOWERS in the all-time top 10 list. Wow, and to think none of the suits in Hollywood wanted to even distribute this because they were soooooooooo sure no one would go see see a religous themed picture -- well, unless it starred Satan or CGI beasts from Hell or somehow promoted a "darker side of things." After all, who wants to see the Heavenly side of things? (rolling my eyes now) Ah, life is so much sweeter when certain sure-minded and dunder-headed people get utterly bitch slapped and awoken to a TRUE reality. Congrats to Mel for not giving in, pursuing his vision, and now sticking it to everyone box office-wise. Of course,next year it'll be interesting to see "how" the Academy and these same suits try to not reward Mel and company with even nominations. Oh yeah, on topic, THE PUNISHER trailers I've seen don't necessarily look like the comic -- they look more like a guy from MIAMI VICE running around IN a Punisher t-shirt, but I'll still check it out. The core origin is pretty basic (guy wants revenge for his family) and at least from what I've seen and heard so far, the movie's apparently not lacking too badly in either the action or explosion department and that's certainly core to making a film like this work. So until I see it for myself, I'll take all these reviews with a grain of salt.
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was "The Last Boy Scout". That was twelve years ago. Noone has even come close since then. Although I had hopes for this one. Still I hear differing opinion s on this one. We'll see.
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Actually, I found "the Passion" to be as repulsive and gratuitous as any of those "demon from hell" movies that you spoke of.It was pretty fucking "dark". And without any larger context of Jesus' ministry and (above all) RESURRECTION, all it was two hours of some poor slob getting tortured for the titilation of the audience. Pure exploitation. Sorry, for that little tangent, but I will NEVER understand the appeal of Gibson's piece of crap.
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The Passion only made so much money because the media did 24/7 free advertising for it for days and days. As far as the Punisher goes, we all knew it was going to be a piece of shit from Day 1, and suprise, we were correct. I just hope this doesn't hurt other future comic book films although it looks like all the good ones have been done. The Fantastic Four movie will be godawful stupid with a black Sue Storm. Our only hope are the Spidey and X-Men franchises and maybe the Hulk.
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And wait...it's stupid in this movie but....not in the movie where the blind guy manages to make a perfect design with lighter fluid? Uh-huh. Just because it came first doesn't mean it makes its movie any less ridiculous. Don't use that as proof of the movie's unintentional comedy. In fact, since most people would agree that 'DareDevil' was better than 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,' don't use that scene as proof of its status underneath the latter. Although I probably will gouge someone's eye out if I see another one of those....
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"This movie took itself too seriously. Definitely needed more HULK SMASH!" What does that even mean? You ask for mediocrity and then complain that your movies are mediocre.
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Exactly how should Hollywood reward the passion? Best Picture? What - for a two hour beatdown? For two hours of gore? A picture that should be rewarded has things like character arcs and well developed stories. Simply showing Jesus getting his ass whooped for two hours does not a good movie make. Sure alot of sheep (oops, I meant the flock) went to see it, but that doesn't make it a good picture. So then Director? For what? Directing a two hour gore fest? No. So that leaves us with what? Best Actor? For what? Gurgling blood for two hours? We can only be thankful that you're not an academy member. Now, after blaming all the "suits" in Hollywood. I love when everyone talks about the "suits" in Hollywood, like some of you dumbasses would do better. Newmarket, the distributor of the Passion wouldn't even put money into this picture. It wasn't necessarily for the religious content. The reason behind it was the fact that the film was done in Aramaic - nobody wanted to take a risk on a subtitled film.
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Can't get in through the site.
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I'm sorry but that review was absolutely hilarious. You guys need to have this guy write more of them, I was laughing my ass off the whole time!
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I have no idea what Bush has to do with the Punisher. Maybe the movei sucks, although I doubt it can suck as bad as Harry and the last review said. HARRY LIKED BLADE 2 and both Star Wars Prequels for the love of God. I fully expect a retraction after real movie critics give it a fair review and it makes bank. This is a stupid platform for politics, go read a real news sight, stop being a pinko follower, and open your mind to more than the political left, then deal with film as a seperate matter.
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Lindsay Lohan is way hot yo. Can't wait to see Mean Girls. HAHAHAHAHA, even that will be better than the Dolph Lungren Punisher
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Yes, this review was damn well-written...props to the author. He wrote with style, but it was based in the truth. He understands the essence of the Punisher character in the comics and why they bastardized it so poorly in the film. I hope this movie flops...I'm pretty sure it will. I just hope those dumbfuck foreigners don't give it good box office..they have even worse taste than us Americans.
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THE PASSION is hands down one of the best movies of the year so far. So far ahead of others, its nearly in a leaque of its own and it's ridiculous NOT to think of it as a frontrunner for awards -- well, except for those of you who can't seem to tolerate religion (noticing your pithy comment about sheep vs. flock seeing this film) or those who just want to engage in Mel-baiting by continuing to spew the anti-semitic horseshit label that some tried to lay on the movie (which has since been proven to be laughable.) But, yes, most definitely Gibson deserves a Best Directors nod for what he envisioned and brought to the screen. Not to mention the cinematography is gorgeous, the acting superlative. The Academy Awards are supposed to be about rewarding art and vision and ambition and daring and moving cinematic experiences, and thanks to cast and crew THE PASSION is overflowing in all those. For crying out loud, even Harry has advocated that it was among one of the best movies he'd seen, certainly for this calender year. Get back to us, Woody, when you grow some taste in film...
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your user name is absolutely correct. learn to spell, bitch.
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No one with any say is talking conscription. The services don't want it, the President doesn't want it, it isn't going to happen. Besides, recruiters are hitting ther numbers with no problems. Really, where does this stuff come from?
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Chris Morris, I wuv you.
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Who cares, I'm off to gaze upon the weeping gays surrounding the darwin's tripods.
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The name fits. Thanks for noting the Harry loved it. That should go down right alongside his other Academy picks: Star Wars 2 and Blade 2. Get back to me when you get some sense. And if you need to use someone else's views to support your argument, make sure you use someone who has any taste at all. Sheep.
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Apr 14, 2004 12:43:59 PM CDT
Uhm, Ribbons: DareDevil was the second comic book movie to use t
by mortsleam
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This punishizer flick sounds pretty bad. Maybe so bad it's MST3K bad, which means I'll definitely have to watch it if someone I know downloads it. ***** Personally I liked Commando. Very funny and Rae Dawn was hot stuff in those days. ****** No matter what they say about The Punisher, at least they didn't get Steven Seagal for the lead. ***** Moving on, when are they going to anounce a title for the second Spider-Man movie? They're not REALLY going to call it "Spider-Man II: Electric Bugaloo" are they?
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I was just highlighting that as it was a movie almost universally praised by the AICN crew.
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This deserves to suck...its by Artisan.
"2" 6/30/04 -
Apr 15, 2004 7:32:34 AM CDT
More Draft-Related Stuff, None of Which Has Anything To Do With
by frankcobretti
I feel like I can speak with a fair bit of authority here. I've already made two deployments to the Gulf, I expect to go back next year (I'm a reservist), and I work as a military analyst - in fact, in half an hour I'm going to a brief with a 2-star. While it is incumbent on our nation to have a selective service system in place in case of total war (think WWII), no one, and I mean no one, in the Executive or in the uniformed services wants to bring back the draft. First, the military perspective: recruiting is fine and it's expected to stay fine. We're making our numbers. Additionally, it's hard enough to lead a bunch of people who've *chosen* to be there; no one wants to be in charge of a bunch of sullen draftees. Second, the political side: it hasn't been forgotten that the Vietnam war demonstrations evaporated when the draft ended. Occasionally, you'll hear a far-left Representative raise the conscription proposition, but it's always seen for what it is: a cheap ploy to scare the kids in the cheap seats. I say again: no one in any position of authority wants to bring back the draft. I stake my reputation on it.
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...As a fan of films, and a fan of comics, Marvel in particular, I have to say what we've seen so far is truly a mixed but mostly pleasant bag. "Blade" was a fun, stylized ride, not requiring much substance, just gore and fights, which it had plenty of. "Blade 2" was more of the same, just a different artistic approach, if you will. "X-Men" was 1.5 hours of Wolverine worship surrounded by good supporting acting (except Halle Barry)and pure "setup" for another film. I liked it but disagreed rabidly with the idea of "downplaying" the fantastical elements in favor of making it seem more-"real-world". Granted, that crap budget didn't help... "X2" blew the first film away by actually feeling more like it took place in a comic-book reality, not to mention being a lot better of a story... "Hulk" was ok, well-acted and well-developed character-wise, but jeez, it needed actual villains! They could have easily used the Leader and the Abomination in that story in place of "Absorbing Dad" and his "Hulk-Dogs"! The story would have lost none of its dramatic edge if they had used those villains. "Daredevil" was also just ok, unfortunately, but there's a whole mess of things wrong there. Afleck's a nice fella, but he wasn't right for DD. Garner was utterly wrong for Elektra visually and personality-wise, not to mention the mishandling of her origins. Would it have been so hard to have her been a former college girlfriend? We would have been sparewd that shitty "playground-foreplay" sequence that left me shaking my head in disbelief... Bullseye was fun, but way over the top, and out of character. He's nuts, but he's a cold, ruthless bastard, not a twitchy spaz. They should have gone and gotten Fincher to direct, and put Brad Pitt in as DD, Catherine Zeta-Jones as Elektra, and Woody Harrelson as Bullseye. Kingpin was fine, but needed something to do. Now, "Spider-Man" was a lot of fun, but they did themselves a disservice by mucking with the storyline of the comic (Gwen IS important, and her death as meaningful as Ben's!), and by mishandling the Green Goblin, the most important and best of Spidey's comic-foes. Never mind the awful Power-Ranger suit, this guy had no motivation beyond killing the Board of Directors, which he did immediately! Where was his lust for power, his plans to take over as New York's crime-lord? A sad waste of Willem Dafoe's talents, that was.
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God, please let this guy PYUL review every movie that comes out from now on. I am crying in my cubicle I am laughing so hard.
But actually some of the things he says about the movie sound cool to me.
It almost sounds like this Punisher is what would happen if a normal person like me or you decides to get some revenge.
I particularly like the part about "He does nothing but pick fights he can't win"
Good stuff, please let's see more. -
Apr 16, 2004 11:46:11 AM CDT
If they bring back the draft in the next five years, I will
by frankcobretti
personally send you, Obscure Reference, a copy of Akira Kurosawa's _Something Like an Autobiography_.
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