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THE PUNISHER (2004) review
February 19, 2004 -- That’s when I started to give a shit about Hensleigh’s THE PUNISHER. That was the date that Moriarty’s review went up, when he began comparing the second film adaptation of Marvel’s most violent and shady character… THE PUNISHER… he compared it favorably to the works of Don Siegel and John Frankenheimer. Ok – I would presume that he meant films like Siegel’s flicks like HELL IS FOR HEROES, THE KILLERS, DIRTY HARRY, CHARLEY VARRICK or even THE SHOOTIST and Frankenheimer’s films like MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE or SEVEN DAYS IN MAY or SECONDS or even THE FIXER. He drew a rather strong comparison to John Boorman’s brilliant Lee Marvin hardass in POINT BLANK, and seemed to insinuate that THE PUNISHER succeeded where Helgeland’s PAYBACK failed in bringing forth the tough as nails asskicker of a leading man.
Well – I know those films, shit, I love those films. If THE PUNISHER was even a blemish on the windshield of those movies, I would have been happy… but after watching this turd, the only films that I can think of to compare it to favorably are things like OVER THE TOP, RED HEAT… no, I actually prefer RED HEAT, I meant to say RED SCORPION. This thing is laughably awful. If you want proof of how good Stallone and Schwarzenegger were in making mindless ultra-violent drivel in the eighties… if you think that there is no way on planet earth that you can think fondly about the old Cannon Films version… then go check this unflushable turd out.
Why did I react so badly? Was it Drew’s set up… the comparing to classics and gods of the genre? Could be. Was it that there was an awful lot of talent that I usually love in this thing, being sprinkled like the recognizable pieces of last night’s dinner in your morning loaf? Could be. I know they took fairly radical points of departure with the character, but that never really bothered me, because I never really was a huge fan of the PUNISHER comics to begin with, I kinda felt The Punisher should never be a hero, but a great Marvel villain, that just took off the code and became what he hated and what ever hero feared turning into… but I love revenge movies. The Revenge Genre is one of my faves. It’s why I absolutely love Tarantino’s KILL BILL (vol 1&2). Why I love Spaghetti Westerns and Kung Fu films. Why I tend to love the Superhero Genre altogether. Usually – revenge ends up being the seed planted in a hero’s mind that makes him a crime-fighter, and I love it. Movies like DEATH WISH, THE CROW, ROLLING THUNDER, THE GREAT SILENCE… these are the films that I live for. Hell, my favorite Star Trek movie is WRATH OF KHAN, which is a revenge movie.
So, when Moriarty brought up Siegel and Frankenheimer and Boorman… oh boy oh boy, I was licking my chops and ready for the slow burn… I was ready for the cold killer of killers. A man that calmly and coolly hunts his prey, making them fear the inevitable punishment for the ills they had wrought upon the world. That man that can not be reasoned with, will not be stopped and will kill all those that deserve it in his eyes. That is not this film.
There are sequences that are hard – the massacre of Castle’s family is brutal, but ultimately… somehow, oddly unaffecting. In a strange way, I felt Travolta’s Saint character loss for his son better – and the revenge massacre that his wife calls for more haunting and frightening. But at this early part of the movie – it didn’t seem like it was going to be the trash that it later revealed itself as being.
To be fair, I don’t blame Thomas Jane or John Travolta or Laura Elena Harring or Samantha Mathis or Will Patton or Rebecca Romijn-Stamos or Roy Scheider. That’s a nice cast – and frankly I don’t think any of them are doing a truly awful job as performers. However, the parts they have are not worth playing. Thomas Jane, brilliant in the film STANDER, is a frowny face of vengeance – with the single worst narration that I can think of in cinematic history. John Travolta, early on, is quite good, till suddenly his character is rendered idiotic by his actions and turns as prescribed by the screenplay. Laura Harring, gorgeous as always, is cold as the grieving mother calling for overkill revenge, later in the film she’s played as just… the broad. Samantha Mathis isn’t given much of a part, but she’s good when on screen. Will Patton’s Quentin Glass is actually quite a nice character, except with the narration put over his “character profile part” tells us this whole list of terrible character traits like murderer and sadist, but ends with him kissing another man, and a look on Thomas Jane’s face as if to say, “and he’s a FAG!” Well, the way it was played was just ludicrously awful and comically offensive. That reveal was literally like they were saving the worst for last. Rebecca Romijn Stamos, who I loved to death in FEMME FATALE, is just the abused woman looking for a strong protective man in her life, and she’s become a surrogate mother of the most ill-conceived characters I’ve seen in a film in years. And Roy Scheider is just a bright moment or two on screen, but not much else.
What is bad?
The direction, the editing, the terrible action, the score underlining every moment with creepy lead in music. This flick had all the technique of a sculptor wearing oven mitts… clunky and ill-defined. The Russian as played by Kevin Nash came across like a throwback to bad Russian characters in the Reagan 80’s. Like a character out of OVER THE TOP that’s it, that’s all he does… oh, he says, “Vaya con Dios” to which Castle responds, “Oh, I believe God is gonna sit this one out.” You can not believe how awkward and stiff this shit is, but neither the Crazy Russian or the Mystic Black Man Savior Dude can prepare you for the astonishingly rancid asinine shite that is Mr Bumpo and Metal-Face Gamer Lad.
Now – Mr Bumpo is really the character’s name. Metal-Face Gamer Lad – is what I’ll call the character whose name I can not recall. But they have an oddly touchy feely gay geekness thing going on. Mr Bumpo is a big ol fat effeminate geek that’s socially awkward to an extreme. Metal-face Gamer Lad is a scrawny weasel geek that cowers a lot and plays video games while working out his passive-aggressive issues about him truly being a pussy boy. They look up to the strong mysterious PUNISHER man, they wish he could be their daddy or their friend. During one sequence when Mr Bumpo is preparing some gargantuan dish involving tons of ice-cream, he puts on Verdi’s La Donna E Mobile and suddenly I felt like one of Daffy Duck’s audience members in THE DUCKSTERS wanting to scream out, “Rigoletto!!!” – but while I watch the fatman lip-sync into an ice cream scoop and dance with Metal-Face Gamer Lad --- the Crazy Russian Arm Wrestler guy begins fighting Frank Castle… all too Rigoletto! Oh, it’s like some aborted Chuck Jones sketch between Sam the Sheepdog (Crazy Russian) and Wile Coyote (Frank Castle)… Only – the look on Castle’s face is more like Sylvester upon being held by PePe LePew.
I LOATHE THIS FILM. This is everything that we’ve grown past in the last 6 years of Comic Book Cinema. The tone is all over the place, the characters thinly drawn caricatures and the story resembling nothing of the original. This is a complete disaster, a turd, a blight upon Marvel’s good name. I prefer Corman’s FANTASTIC FOUR to this, that at least had moments that make me happy. This… this is just terrible. I haven’t disagreed more strongly with Moriarty and doubted his sanity since THE REAL CANCUN. I’m serious, I feel this film is in that dubious league. Simply awful.
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Harry's review means nothing to me if he hates the comics. =P
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hmm, do9n't mince words harry, what do you really think? :) well i'll probably see it even though i'm not a big punisher fan. SHAUN OF THE DEAD RULES! "it's a running buffet!"
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Apr 13, 2004 5:32:38 AM CDT
Those Amazon links are becoming a bit much, don't you think?
by cash bailey
Do they pay you by the link or what?
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Let me sum up this site for you.
ME HARRY. ME LOVE SHAUN OF THE DEAD. ME LIKE TO SHOVE IT IN FACE THAT ME SEE MOVIE BEFORE YOU. ME HATE PUNISHER. ME LOVE SHAUN OF THE DEAD. ME LOVE QUENTIN TARANTINO. ME LOVE AMAZON.COM. ME LOVE SHAUN OF THE DEAD
I mean, c'mon folks. How many freakin' articles of Shaun of the Dead is this site gonna have before it actually opens up here in the U.S.? I'm really getting tired of it being shoved in my face cause I can't see it until, what, October? Geez, I got the idea. It's a good movie. Anyway, if Harry doesn't like the Punisher comics, he sure as hell wasn't gonna like the movie. AND HARRY-ENOUGH WITH THE LINKS!!! If you want, include them outside the article as sort of recommendations. It's less obvious that way -
who couldn't see this bullshit review coming anyway- its pretentious and predictable to say- but there are those films which you just KNOW are going to be shit.
And Shaun of the Dead(saw it last night) isn't very good either, infact it sucks more then the punisher. -
That as to be a new record! Congrats harry..amazon.com just made another million!
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I don't have an opinion. I need a nap.
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That means..this movie has gotta suck hard core...revolutions suckage(half joking)
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Apr 13, 2004 6:07:34 AM CDT
You forgot to link Kill Bill 1..its out on DVD today remember?
by jon e cin
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Apr 13, 2004 6:10:52 AM CDT
Travers says Punisher is good. Harry says it sucks. Now it's our
by el zar
Worse than Roger Corman's FF ?
This I gotta see. -
It seems that they poke fun at a fat nerdy kid that has an affinity for frozen treats. Maybe that hit a little to close to home. That and QT/Rodriguez/or that hack that made Cabin Fever had nothing to do with it.
Harry is a whore to all that kiss his ass. -
I can understand that since 1)It's not Shaun of the Dead 2)Comparing it to some really great films with great directors and 3)Not giving a shit about the Punisher to begin with. Why bother writing a review for a film that you've pretty much written off from the start? And now we're getting a Shaun of the Dead soundtrack review? Fuck that. How about some Fantastic Four news?
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Harry, I think I'm gonna trust you this time. When you said, "I kinda felt The Punisher should never be a hero, but a great Marvel villain, that just took off the code and became what he hated and what ever hero feared turning into", well, you are right. That IS what the Punisher is, an "anti-hero", someone who is not essentially good but ends up somehow doing good anyway for whatever reasons. Look at the movie adaptation of Spawn (yeah I know, another underwhelming adaptation, I do actually think that the Spawn mythos from the comics has some redeeming values) which probably ended up bad for similar reasons. I think I'll wait and catch The Punisher on HBO or something, in the meantime I'll just read Garth Ennis' take on The Punisher in the pages of Marvel Comics. At least we have Spider-Man 2 to look forward to this year
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Apr 13, 2004 7:59:01 AM CDT
The Real Reason Harry Panned "The Punisher" - - It's opening aga
by smarkjobber
Harry trying to tip the box office again for his filmmaker buddies. Know-less knows no shame.
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Apr 13, 2004 8:28:15 AM CDT
I heard that Moriarty was bummed to death by a Grizzly Bear...
by dr_zoidberg
or was that Harry?
I thought this looked shit from the trailers, but that early review gave me hope. Now it sounds awful. I may still check it out but only because I'm a sucker for comic book movies. -
I had a feeling Moriarty was full of crap when I read his THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST review. Not that I always think Mr. Knowles is always on the level, but everything I have seen for this movie screams cheap and boring!
By the way Harry, I rented the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake this weekend. There's something I'm not really sure about because frankly I have no desire to ever see that "TURD" (that harry's an eloquent guy isn't he) again but I'm curious. When it shows your head on that platter are you SMILING? C'mon dude, I know it's fun working with your heroes and being in the movies but I don't think your motivation for that scene was supposed to be rainbows and sunshine. -
That's a surprise! Could anyone have guessed it after seeing the trailer? Does it mean that - gasp - the "Garfield" and "Mask 2" flicks will be piles of sh|t, too?
Oh, and bring on Corman's Fantastically Ludicrous Four. Get it off IRC, get it off BitTorrent, get it off eDonkey, get it off Fasttrack... but get it. :) -
Apr 13, 2004 8:35:43 AM CDT
By the way, Harry, you can link EVERY word to Amazon!
by salvatoregravano
Link "the" to "The Who" albums; link "a" to "A Connecticut Yankee..."; link "Harry" to "Harry and the Hendersons"; link "Moriarty" to "Young Sherlock Holmes", and so on...
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Can Anyone say SELLOUT! Harry you really gotta get objective.....and damn am I sick of seeing articles about Shaun of the Dead. Isn't there anything else goin on?
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Apr 13, 2004 8:54:42 AM CDT
DONT LISTEN TO THIS FAT SHITHEAD. HARRY'S HAD IT IN FOR THIS MOV
by jigga422
face it people, you cant trust a fucking word this man(or is it the blob?) says anymore. He got bought put along time ago, and because he didnt recieve his payout for this movie, he's gonna trash it out. Nice, really nice fucktard. harry should just have KILL BILL VOL 2 stamped on his fat forehead. Then ppl will get the fuckin picture
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Seriously, man, how can you not mention the star? Did he do nothing for you when he kicked Stallones ass in Rambo 4? Obviously not. Tut tut. Check out MC Hammer PHD's appraisal of Vigilante Cinema at http://www.geocities.com/mondoirlando
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saying "harry is being paid by amazon" doesn't mean anything. of course he's getting paid by amazon. who gives a shit? do you think you belong in the fucking CIA now that you've figured that out? and what's with these "the real reason harry didn't like the punisher..." assholes? maybe you deserve a spot in the CIA too! the movie industry does not give a shit about you people! maybe if you realized that we wouldn't see so much bullshit on these talkbacks!
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Not only is it a blatant attempt to make you go to amazon.com for the sake of putting those advertising pennies into Harry's already over-stuffed pants pockets. It's also an obvious attempt to clear the way for Harry's movie making idol Tarantino to make loads of cash with Kill Bill 2 this coming weekend. I don't have much faith in the Punisher flick, judging from the terrible trailers. However, I can't possibly take any of this review seriously with the bright red link all over it and the obvious subtext throughout. Reviews are supposed to be impartial. They are supposed to have nothing to gain by a movie doing well or bombing. Clearly, Harry has sold out and that no long applies to him. I don't even know why I bother reading anymore.
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So I take it that Harry didn't like it? I stopped reading the review after he stated his dislike for the character & source material.
Let's get some news up that people care about. Ain't-Shaun Of the Dead-Cool-News has really declined. The Fantastic Four director was announced a week ago and there STILL hasn't been ONE WORD about it on this site. Flee this sinking ship, Moriarty!! -
Considering I haven't seen a single ad on the site for the Punisher. I'm sure the film's producers could've "coerced" a good review if they'd only spent a little coin on an AICN ad or two.**************Seriously, if it weren't for these talkbacks, where I can get REAL opinions from REAL people not paid off by some studio or with some ax to grind against others....this site would be absolutely useless. Oh well, time to go squeeze in some conversation about shows people actually give a crap about on one of Herc's "reality" TV show lovefests. Since Wonderfalls was cancelled (wahahahahaha!) I guess we can't use THOSE anymore.
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If Harry said it was a great film, you'd immediately assume it wasn't. He says it sucks, you say the exact opposite. Me personally, regardless of what Mori or anyone else says, check out each new movie every weekend to see what's up for myself. You got two ends of the spectrum going on, so now it's up to...YOU!
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Apr 13, 2004 9:16:32 AM CDT
No offense to Harry but Moriarty usually is a more honest review
by spacesheik
This isn't a review. It's a defecation of a film, which early reviews indicate is a taut and entertaining revenge thriller. It's prolly quite a good film. After all Harry loved GODZILLA and ARMAGEDDON. He wants you to believe this is a Golan Gobus stinker of the 80s with Dolph Lundgren or something - it is not.
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Title says it all
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I can't imagine this movie would be as convoluted as the 1990 version of The Punisher. Too bad they couldn't give Dolph Lundgren a cameo in this new one...
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you have to be kidding. these talkbacks are collections of highschoolers who try to get attention by repeating the same things over and over, and you call it a place to go for real opinions? in fact, why am i even here? later.
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...."Was it that there was an awful lot of talent that I usually love in this thing, being sprinkled like the recognizable pieces of last night
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Who does this sound like? Anybody we know? Aw, shit. I'm a prolly get banned for this.
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...that it is followed by an ad for Johnson's Family Vacation- talk about your bad movies.
Oh, well, what did we really expect from Artisan?...a good movie!
Let's hope Marvel didn't drop the ball with "2" 6/30/04 -
Damn looks like this summer is gonna be a crappy year.
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Apr 13, 2004 9:49:37 AM CDT
The punisher should be a good VILLAIN? then who would he kill?
by rcamacho2278
punisher was never considered a HERO by other tight wearing heros. he was a Vigilante. Nobody liked his methods and even tried to bring him to justice, What defines a hero? Simply because they don't wish to cross the line and kill?
But the punisher killed criminals, he didn't put up with shit man, he ended these rapists, and murderers. To the people who were victimized HE WAS a hero.
Now your saying he would be a good villain?? Bah, you don't know what your talkin about.. -
Apr 13, 2004 9:49:37 AM CDT
The punisher should be a good VILLAIN? then who would he kill?
by rcamacho2278
punisher was never considered a HERO by other tight wearing heros. he was a Vigilante. Nobody liked his methods and even tried to bring him to justice, What defines a hero? Simply because they don't wish to cross the line and kill?
But the punisher killed criminals, he didn't put up with shit man, he ended these rapists, and murderers. To the people who were victimized HE WAS a hero.
Now your saying he would be a good villain?? Bah, you don't know what your talkin about.. -
...am I late?
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Who are the five greatest talkbackers in AICN history:
1. Allmighty Tallest
2. Allmighty Tallest
3. Allmighty Tallest
4. Allmighty Tallest
5. Allmighty Tallest
Because I spit hot fire. That was a "Chappelle's Show" reference. The real reason I'm posting is because I want everyone to see "Rolling Thunder". I'm not demanding you to but I think you know what I mean. Tarantino didn't name his company after it for nothing. -
Uh, I do believe that sam's daily conflict took place with his co-worker, Ralph. Who was a wolf. Thank you and good night.
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... I like Moriarty more =)
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Apr 13, 2004 10:17:53 AM CDT
Well the guy from CNN as well as the local newspaper's critic bo
by the founder
They didn't say it was great or good, but gave it a thumbs up! Harry has indeed had it in for this movie, but I'm not mad at Harry, he's has a right to his opinion, and if the he didn't like the movie, then that's fine.
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Personally, I think some of the talkbackers are right. Harry doesn't want this to do well against "Kill Bill Vol II". I see a disturbing trend on this site where if you don't kiss ass, you don't get play. "Hellboy" is a good example. It was an okay movie, but left me a little flat. One of the reasons is because I went into it with such high expectations most of which were fueled by this site. Same with "Once Upon a Time in Mexico". The list goes on. There is an agenda to this site which would be okay if they were up-front about it. But, they are not, and Harry has become the Rush Limbaugh of the film geek universe. Of course, he doesn't realize it or won't admit it to himself. What I want to know is where is the cool news? "Shaolin Soccer" is out, but why isn't it playing in Austin? Why haven't we heard any news from AICN? Have they forgotten about it? Don't care? Aren't getting their asses kissed?
And also, all you talkbackers who are irritated about the Amazon links shouldn't be. I think its great for three reasons. 1) You can do further research into a movie and then buy it or put it on a wish list. 2) This is Harry's business, and despite our reservations about his intentions, he has to make a living. Who cares if he's making advertising dollars from Amazon? Is it any worse than having a banner for "Never Die Alone"? 3) Amazon is a great resourse that Harry is smart to use. You should try using the recommendations system or the "search inside the book" tool. The site has some pretty damn cool utilities --all for free. Jeff Bezos is a pretty amazing guy. So why worry about it if Harry links to a **gasp** big corporation. -
Bitching about Harry taking money from Amazon is absolutely asinine. Harry runs a business. It is a lot like television. He produces content. You and I are entertained - for free. The tab is picked up by advertisers like Amazon.com. So whether you hate Harry or you love Harry, you come to this forum because you enjoy it. This forum exists because of money generated by advertisers like Amazon. This really isnt a difficult concept, guys. Please send Amazon a thank you note, or even better, click a link and buy something you'll enjoy. ******** In future, how about holding your fire and limit yourself to bitching about reasonable complaints about this site. Its not like there's nothing to bitch about here.
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The lame ass nu-metal soundtrack should tip you off as to how bad this flick is going to be.
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Harry's got to make money somehow. What bothers me is that he thought Rebecca Romijn-Stamos was great in "Femme Fatale." She's not a bad actress, she just wasn't good in that film. Other than the bathroom scene, that movie was a complete waste of time, money, effort, and a hot leading lady. Brian De Palma never was and never will be Alfred Hitchcock. So, to me, Harry's praise of Rebecca's performance in that dungheap of a film completely trivializes his review of this iteration of "Punisher."
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I mean, come on, it's "written" and directed by the guy who wrote Die Hard 3, The Saint, and Armegeddon. The only reason he has a career is because he's married to Gale Anne Hurd.
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Apr 13, 2004 11:19:57 AM CDT
I don't know why Harry bothers, when he has people like you guys
by rapmaster c
clogging up the Talkbacks with incomprehensible comments. If he had given a positive review, you all would be saying that he's wrong. I laugh at the person who said about the talkbacks being filled with "REAL opinions". No, these opinions are simply against anything Harry says or does. So he has Amazon links; if you don't like them, don't click on them! Its pretty easy to read the review with them being there. You all have the audacity to call him a sell-out, when its really you who are the turn-coats. If you've become so disillusioned with the site, then why bother coming here anymore?
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Apr 13, 2004 11:33:15 AM CDT
Well said RapmasterC, but you haven't said anything that hasn't
by dr_zoidberg
Looking for intelligent talkback on this site is like looking for one particular needle in a stack of 10 million other needles. But it's funny, because although I don't visit many web sites such as this, but I can sum up that you'll never find a more retched hive of scum and villainy than AICN... at least where talkback is the topic. But it makes me smile so I ain't complaining, just making an observation. And to stay on topic, Thomas Jane da bomb, John Travolta ate da bomb, boom boom motherfucker with a purple hat on Yoooooooo!
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Have you poor fuckwits been manipulated into clicking these evil Amazon links? No? Then stop complaining, goddammit! If you've got nothing else to say than "Harry's a bitch!" and "Ads hurt my eyes!", your not even worth posting here! Fuck off, all of you!
Oh, and if you're really that retarded that you can't restrain yourself from clicking on every link on screen, you shouldn't be allowed to have Internet access anyway. -
No, I don't mean Harry--I mean Thomas Jane. First Deep Blue Sea, then Dreamcatcher, now The Punisher. This movie is one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies ever made. If you don't start laughing when the Punisher pulls a FIRE HYDRANT out of his equipment bag you're just not living on the same planet...
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Hellboy is still my favorite movie of the year so far. -
Apr 13, 2004 12:37:35 PM CDT
Well, Harry, thanks for that fair warning about The Punisher, BU
by wardog
I still think I'll go see it. Hey, like you, I love revenge flicks, and there are too few decent ones made anymore. Whazzat? This one doesn't qualify as decent? Well, maybe, maybe, but as much as I liked Kill Bill, Vol. 1, the QT clearly freaked out with level of the violence. The amount didn't bother me, but it often strayed way out of the bounds of realism. THAT, for me, was a huge turn-off, since it wasn't supposed to be a fantasy. As for cardboard characters and stiff acting, bad writing, dialogue and narration--shee-yut, that's par for the course in most comic books. They're meant to be uncomplicated enough to touch the kiddies on a basic emotional level. So why should movies based on comic books be expected to have complicated plots, fleshed-out characters, or intellectual themes? Okay, maybe you were expecting more as the cinematic version of this, an "evolved form," if you will, of the story. But that's going to be rare in comic-book movies. Don't sweat it and don't vituperate all over it. I doubt there are many comic-book adaptations which are as big turds as you say this is as others, like Tank Girl, for instance. But that was based on a way-out little comic that just would never have translated well to any other medium. On that score, The Punisher probably isn't as great as Hellboy as comic-book adaptations go, but it can't be as bad a League of Extraordinary Fictional Caricatures.
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Word up to the tber who referenced Thomas "tinkerbell" Jane's fucking UnderRoos Punisher leotard. You know this is a piece of shit. The trailer usually ends up being better than the actual movie, especially in the mindless actioner genre. The trailer for the Punisher fucking sucked. The slo-mo "augh my fambly was murdered" shit, the walking away from the explosion, the fucking "you shouldn't play with knives" gaiety. Thomas "light in the loafers" Jane looks like he has to shit instead of looking really angry. He sucks, and I'll wager this movie sucks, too. As for the Amazon links, who gives a shit? Obviously, Harry's gotta eat. You know he's hungry.
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I think the people who are hating this movie aren't really getting that it is essentially an over-the-top black comedy. The guy has a freakin' skull T-shirt on. You're not supposed to take it seriously.
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Why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel about this movie?
I mean if BLADE II was all about pussy eating, this review makes PUNISHER seem like an ass rape from the folks who fathered Freddy Krueger...
Damn. And you know what? I'm still going to go see it to see which one of these guys is right............... -
...decided to pit "The Punisher," a revenge picture, against "Kill Bill 2," a revenge picture, on the same weekend?. Somebody should have moved off the date.
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I knew we were in for trouble when the costume was a modified wife-beater shirt with a skull on it. The trailer said "Deathwish" rehash up and down it. If you're going to tell an overused story, at least try to make the characters compelling or surprise us somehow. No surprises?...Well then make sumthin blow up reaaaal goooooood!
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No disrespect intended, Harry, but if your not a fan of the character then I can't take your review too seriously. I mean, If I took my girlfriend to a Star Trek movie she'd hate it cause she doesn't like Trek. Therefore, I'm not surprised to hear that a non-Punisher fan didn't like the movie. I'm not saying it ISN'T a turd. Maybe it is. I love Batman and Batman and Robin was most definatly a turd. I just need to see for myself, especially in the light of all the favorable reviews Punisher has been getting.
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Knowles is certainly allowed his opinon, but I find it rather strange that he seems to have goten confused about some things that happened in movie.
He says:
"The Russian as played by Kevin Nash came across like a throwback to bad Russian characters in the Reagan 80 -
I haven't read these in a while (I usually don't)...but it's kinda funny to go back and see how many readers Harry can piss off...
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I could drive a train through that opening....
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The only reason I visit this site is in the hope of finding some news. I hope there will be a scoop, or a picture from a future film that I'm interested in. I hope that the news will be cool. One thing that I do not visit this site for is to read reviews. You must be f*cking joking! Do you remember the painfully embarassing Blade_2 review? And that whole ridiculously hypercritical episode of Moriarty's over the Hulk spy-camera footage? Do me a lemon!
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The Russian scene is actually quite funny. Everyone was laughing, as it's supposed to be funny. Yes, it has its problems. The tone is uneven, the score sucks, the two neighbors Harry mentions suddenly change their character (I guess we're supposed to believe the Punisher made them believe in themselves or some shit?) and the ending is fucking cheesy. Worst compositing ever. Aside from that, there are some good moments in the film that are worth checking out, but not at full price. 2.5 stars out of 5.
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Well thanks for that, Mr. Zoidberg. Yes, I know such words have been said before, but its a little much that a good 80% of people simply come here to insult and belittle Mr. Knowles and his colleagues. Sure, Harry overexaggerates a ton, and often gives too much detail on his childhood or his nephew. But I do feel sorry for him that he takes the time to type a review, and it is immediately blasted. Surely such constatn negativety is uncalled for. If people don't like the site, it boggles the mind as to why they take the time to go to a talkback and simply type "cunt" in the subject.
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Apr 13, 2004 1:46:55 PM CDT
Next on the Punisher's revenge list: the Quizno's Spongmonkeys
by bregalad_
WE LOVE THE SUBS!! ------------------- NOW ONE'S A SPECIAL PRICE!! ------------------- TWO NINETY-NINE! ------------------- OUR FAVORITE SUB ----- IT NOW COST LESS ----- A SLICE OF TOASTY ----- TASTY HEAVEN!! ------------------- ------------------- BIG JOY IS IN OUR HEARTS!!!!
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Apr 13, 2004 1:51:25 PM CDT
Paul Walker to leave his (skid)mark on The Craptastic Four.
by fatal discharge
Can someone help lift Harry off the toilet so he can break some film news for a change.
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well, what the heck: Plant! heh heh
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Apr 13, 2004 2:03:16 PM CDT
Yes, Pelvidar, for such a big movie lover Harry is notorious for
by rev_skarekroe
Remember, this is the guy who thought Zion got destroyed in "Matrix Reloaded". sk
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I didn't hate it as much as everyone else, but I will say this. It seems like the filmmakers were unsure of who the audience would be for this film. It's too graphic for young kids, but too childish for adults. So it was divided and I think it weakened the film. Thomas Jane made an alright Punisher... too bad the characters around him were paper thin and the setting was off base. Overall, I'd say make sure to rent it when it comes out on DVD... it's at least worth a viewing for a few cool moments.
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That was Ralph the Wolf. As in "a wolf in sheep's clothing." He was brown, not grey, and had a red nose, not black like Wile E. What does this have to do with the Punisher? Not a goddamn thing.
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I think the last review I saw him give that was this harsh was The time machine. Though I rarely read film reviews before seeing the films anyway. I have to admit I was surprised when moriarty gave The punisher a good review. It would have to be a completely different film from the one I saw in the trailer to fit the review he gave. I'm inclined to trust Harry's opinion on this one.
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Apr 13, 2004 2:14:42 PM CDT
So....Harry, Are You Sayin' Hulk Hogan Should've Been The Russia
by ripper t. jones
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Kevin Nash who plays the Russian was on Kimmel last night and they showed a clip for his fight with Frank Castle. Castle throws a grenade and the Russian baseball bats it back at him. Kimmel said he usually hates clips because it eats into the time talking with the guest, but this one was so entertaining that he showed a second, equally entertaining, clip. Ennis' Punisher is some of best written modern literature. This is not Ennis' Punisher... but the clips last night showed me that it is a lot closer to it than I originally expected. If you want to shit on a bastardization of an iconic character save it for Constantine.
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I was thinking the EXACT same thing.....think ya hit the nail on the head.
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Apr 13, 2004 2:37:21 PM CDT
You think Harry's pissed that Marvel gave Latino Review the scoo
by ffbono
Sorry Harry, but you're as transparent as Saran Wrap. Everyone knows that you're just lashing out because Marvel gave the scoop on FF's new director to The Latino Review and then The Latino Review rubbed your nose in it. The fact that you mentioned the old FF movie in your review was clearly a Freudian slip.
The beauty of this review you've just posted is that you will NEVER get another scoop from Marvel. How does it feel to step on your own dick? -
Apr 13, 2004 2:37:26 PM CDT
youridol - "Ennis'[s] Punisher is some of [the] best written mod
by some dude
As much as I love comic books (especially the works of NYU alum Brian Vaughan) here is some friendly advice. Try reading a real book. You know, one without cartoon drawings.
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Go see the movie for yourself and make your own opinion.
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All those references in the review and no mention of the fact that The Punisher IS a super-villain, specifically a Spider-man villain, which makes The Punisher movie the Marvel version of DC's Catwoman movie. ***** No mention of the fact that Gerry Conway's Punisher was a camped up comic booked out half plaigerism and half parody of Don Pendleton's paperback action hero The Executioner (a character that filled out over 150 cheap novels and still hasn't had a movie.) Or, for that matter, that both The Punisher and The Executioner were just variations on the old '30s pulp crime-fighter The Avenger. ***** Heck, as far as that goes, The Punisher, Batman, Spider-Man and The Crow are all the same character; they fight crime because someone killed thier... wife and kids, parents, uncle Ben, girlfriend. ***** The person who said you're not supposed to take the Punisher seriously had it right. Need I remind you that this is a comic book character who for the first decade of his existence hid in the shadows by wearing WHITE go-go boots, gloves, a girdle and a big skull pirate shirt lifted from The Black Destroyer. ***** I also agree that someone messed up by releasing two revenge pictures the same weekend. ***** Ebert and Other Guy liked Kill Bill Part Two, Electric Bugaloo. In fact, they said once you see it the first half makes sense. ***** (By the way, it is now a law that ALL intellectual properties containing the word "two", number "2" or roman numeral "II" in the title to indicate that it is a sequel with the same title as the first movie, TV series, novel, comic book, record album or painting MUST be followed by the words "Electric Bugaloo". and this IS retroactive, so it includes "Led Zeppelin II, Electric Bugaloo" and "Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan Electric Bugaloo".) ***** So what's all this about there being ads embedded in Harry's review? I didn't notice any, I just read the words. What's a hyper-link?
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Whatever you guys wanna bitch Harry about, he's right on the money this time. And as much as I usually love Mory's reviews, I am appalled and totally at a loss as to what movie he saw. I just saw Punisher this mornign at a press screening and it is utter shit. I haven't wanted to leava a theater this bad since A Man Apart and Behind Enemy Lines. It's painful, ridiculous, cliched and one of the worst I've seen so far this year.
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Apr 13, 2004 3:09:54 PM CDT
King Kong vs. Godzilla 2004 (Man in Suit Harry tai Man in Suit M
by bozemaster
King Kong vs. Godzilla 2004 (a.k.a. Man in Suit Harry tai Man in Suit Moriarty)
Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Synopsis: After lying dormant on the set of Guillermo del Toro's next movie, King Kong Harry awakens and begins to eat all of the cast and crew. Somewhere off-shore, Godzilla Moriarty is awakened off-shore by the sound and smell of King Kong Harry's flatulence. They duke it out until they are attacked by giant werewolves and vampires!!! Who will win this War of the Gargantuas?????
Note: The original King Kong vs. Godzilla available right now from Amazon.com!!! -
Sorry, Harry. The actors that played Spacker Dave and Bumpo were dead fucking on!!!
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Apr 13, 2004 3:39:09 PM CDT
Another fine example of the demise of a once great website. Lets
by danzigg
You have to question his intentions what with Kill Bill out the same day. I for one am looking forward to this film.
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Apr 13, 2004 3:43:48 PM CDT
I think I'll wait til April 23rd to see a revenge movie
by man w no name
that's when Man on Fire comes out...one of the best novels I've ever read. AJ Quinnell's books are amazing. I also wish they'd make a movie out of the book Without Remorse by Tom Clancy. That book would make a great film.
MAN ON FIRE APRIL 23RD. Harry will give this film horrible reviews so people will not see the film, pad Kill Bill 2's stats, and make Kill Bill 2 #1 for two weeks in a row. I heard that if the film is #1 two weeks in a row, Harry will not have to toss QT's salad in order to get on the studio lot. I think he'll only have to suck his dick this time. -
You may be confusing me with someone defending Harry's integrity. Sorry - not my bag. Harry's ass is either for sale or he's done a good job of making it look that way. The funny thing though is that in this case, his Amazon.com ads are the kind of ads he SHOULD be doing. Because they minimize his conflict of interest. The Texas Chainsaw Banner Ads are a bigger problem. Taking money from people you are reviewing is a conflict of interest.(a conflict of interest that is ubiquitous in the industry by the way.) There is no conflict that I can see with Amazon. And I really dont think the fact that the links are in the review is salient. Its a great advertising idea and completely non-scandalous. Unlike so many other aspects of this site...
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Apr 13, 2004 3:56:14 PM CDT
Some Dude "Try reading a real book. You know, one without cartoo
by youridol
My favorite novel is Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse. What I love about that novel is it actually wholly puts the reader in the mind of the lead protagonist. I find Garth Ennis admirably accomplishes the same in his work, comparable to Mike Baron's early Punisher books. I don't hold any artform above any other. Some friendly advice: eliminate your prejudice and you will start on a path to being less of an ignorant prick.
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Apr 13, 2004 4:05:45 PM CDT
THIS COMMING FROM A GUY THAT LOOOOVED DAREDEVIL "AKA REDASSPONY"
by the dharma bum
It can't be anywhere near as bad as Daredevil and what REALLY WAS THE WORST VOICEOVER EVER!!!
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The punisher was scheduled on april 16 first. so dont blame them for scheduleing against kill bill
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I will always go with Moriarty's reviews over Harry's. I think Bumpo hit a little too close to the mark for Harry, I think thats the only reason he hates this film, although the "trash it so it doesn't give Kill Bill any competition" theory is a good one. The Punisher may be crap...the promotion for it has definitely straddled the line for me, but Thomas Jane is a good fucking actor and I actually enjoyed the comics so I'm there. I'll be paying to see this before I see Kill Bill. Really though claiming something is crap for rehashing things in movies 20+ years ago is a tad hypocritical considering Harry's love for that faux feminist empowerment piece Kill Bill. Been there done that...okay as long as its good. Here's hoping The Punisher doesnt take its own bullshit as seriously as Kill Bill does.
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Harry DID love Daredevil, but is that enough to dicredit his opinion for me? I'll have to see more reviews.
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Who saw the Harry = Mr. Bumpo thing. Gotta love when movies poke fun at rumor/review sites.
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And say that most of the time, I trust Drew over Harry. I think, Harry, at this point you have become what I hate the most about the geek community. The complaints you have about this film are frankly not fair to level when you've let a LOT of shit slide for other movies whose subject matter you've liked more. Trashing this movie is not going to restore your credibility.
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bound to happen
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but I'm still going to see it on opening night. As a matter of fact, I'll go see it twice just to make my point across on Tarantino. That motherfucker is going to make us pay twice for the same movie. Volume 1 and 2 my ass...CHEERS Big Amigo!
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Apr 13, 2004 5:09:09 PM CDT
"Metal-face Gamer Lad is a scrawny weasel geek that cowers a lot
by truthseekr1488
Sounds like they're playing to their demographic. (Ducking for cover...)
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Apr 13, 2004 5:18:12 PM CDT
This movie's trailer did look like a steaming pile of horseshit!
by eye_h8_u
What is with the rash of Marvel movies that we've been seeing for the past 2 years anyway? Most have been subpar. Although personally I liked the Hulk, I thought Spiderman was waaaaay overated and Daredevil just plain sucked ass! Now we get yet another movie version of the Punisher- as if the first one didn't suck bad enough! At least Hellboy had an awesome visual style to it... the trailers to Punisher come off as extremely B-grade and the movie looks as though it should've went straight to video!
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Apr 13, 2004 5:19:47 PM CDT
HELLBOY IS THE EXACT SAME PLOT AND MOVIE AS BLADE 1!!JUST SWITCH
by the dharma bum
THE SAME F'N MOVIE!! WHO WAS HE FOOLING? SHOW SOME ORIGINALITY DEL TORO YOU ARE TOO TALENTED TO BE TRYING TOO FOOL EVERYONE!!
IT'S LIKE HE DID PAINT BY NUMBERS WITH THE SAME FILM!! -
I'm not even going to mention Harry's review, what would be the point? He's got his own AGENDA:
I know a lot of folks are afraid this is going to be another 'revenge' style movie in which we've all seen before. The movie wasnt like that at all. In fact, I've never seen a movie like this before. Whatever movie I thought "The Punisher" was going to be, I was overjoyed by the movie we got, and was pleasantly surprised at how different this film was. Jonathan Hensleigh does a great job of mixing in serious storytelling while injecting just enough comic book fare to be true to the source material. I think some movie go-ers will have a hard time with the comic themes, however. Not to say its bad, but in some of the bad reviews I've read for the film, I dont agree with the comments, but its because they dont get the style of the movie, because it really is like watching a Garth Ennis comic onscreen. A healthy dose of humor, and dark comedy help this movie stand apart as one of the great comic book movies of all time.
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WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT PUNISHER. YOU SHOULD BE ARRESTED FOR NEGLECTING TO HELP OUT THE COEN BROTHERS LATEST MASTERPIECE WITH SOME NEEDED INTERNET ATTENION FLAPJACK
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All the quibbling aside, the ads look terrible and the only good thing I have heard is that it is a hard R with gobs of violence. Jane is NOT a good actor -- think DEEP BLUE SEA and DREAMCATCHER --and frankly he looks sorta puny in the trailers. He looks like a puff of wind could knock him down. This will come and go faster than that Disney cow cartoon. So will KBII, but that's another story.
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http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=trailer&id=1808472690&intl=us I think it is fair to say, that the movie can
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I think he had some scene's mixed up that he was reviewing . "the russian vs. punisher" exchange wasn't right.
Also he said that TChainsaw Massacre remake was excellent. that was Bullshito.
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His review said the Russian has one line that sounds stiff and awkward. Harry you inbred toaster strudel that wasn't said by the Russian, that was said by the old guy that saves castle in the beginning of the movie, you know, like an hour before the Russian even appears? If you're going to shit on a movie, get your facts right and stop writing notes on ding dong wrappers
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Apr 13, 2004 6:43:40 PM CDT
Did Harry like Garth Ennis' Punisher? Probably not, based on thi
by riskebiz
I'll still go see the Punisher. I think it'll be okay. HOWEVER ... what I really want to know is why they keep reporting that Tim Robbins is up for Dr. Doom in the Fantastic Four movie? If Robbins is up for anything, it's Reed Richards ... because he LOOKS like Reed Richards. I don't know why Avi Arad doesn't nip that misquote in the bud. It's obvious Robbins isn't up for Dr. Doom, but instead is up for Dr. Richards. Oh ... and it was made for dollar, but I rather like the Corman Fantastic Four. It wasn't bad for the money and time they invested in it. I think they could take that film's raw footage and update all the effects and CGI and have a pretty good movie.
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He's Kinda described a lot like Harry isn't he...
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Well I guess my coin completely goes to Vol. 2 then.
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for once harry doesnt cave in...i am truly surprised..
and BTW, i tip my hat to the fella who made the Dr. McCoy Star Trek 2 reference...
"get back your command Jim, before you really do grow old..."
:-) -
That'd be weird....also weird, it keeps saying my passwords invalid....
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Apr 13, 2004 7:09:49 PM CDT
It sounds truly abominable, but I don't know how much I can trus
by ribbons
I really, really don't want to come across as one of those "renegade" AICN haters, but lately the nagging feeling that Harry's opinions are either biased or tainted has been bothering me more than usual. It's no secret that this movie is sandwiched inbetween Guillermo del Toro's 'Hellboy' and Quentin Tarantino's 'Kill Bill,' both films made by Harry's auteur friends and on the bubble as far as popularity goes (by the way, even though I liked it, I found 'Hellboy' to be problematic as well, although apparently anyone who complains about that film is deemed a maggot). I don't know. Maybe it was all the links to Amazon in one sentence that got to me (I'm not going to say Harry's a shill for Amazon, because I don't know what the deal is with that, but its presence on this site does bother me). In any case, the stuff he described was pretty concrete, and it does indeed sound awful. I especially don't expect to see women lip-syncing to a spoonful of ice cream outside of romcoms, much less a revenge movie, and I've been pretty pessimistic about the integrity of MARVEL's productions. Obviously nothing's penciled in yet, but rumors abound of actors like Paul Walker starring in 'Fantastic Four.' Not only that, but both Harry and Moriarty have claimed that Avi Arad and Kevin Feige lie like dogs about the quality of their scripts in an effort to build hype, which might explain why this movie, "one of [their] best scripts," is utter crap. If this movie is truly dreck, it could turn the tables on MARVEL's good graces. I don't understand why people have to con other people; maybe it's paranoia, maybe it's inevitable, but the state of the movie biz today makes me uncomfortable. Here's hoping that this site and superhero movies can rebound, and none of my worst suspicions are true. I barely said anything offensive, so I'm hoping that this post won't be gone come tomorrow morning.
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Already mentioned above, IS IT WORSE THAN THE HULK? You dont even need to review the film, just tell us this. If it is worse than The Hulk then god help us all.
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Can it possibly be worse than Dare Devil? and I just want to point out that harry gave glowing reviews for Episode 2 and xXx, and don't forget the Godzilla "I love it, wait, I hate it" B.S.
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If he gave Episode 2 and XXX good reviews then this film must never come to our cinemas. Episode 2 was a joke and XXX died the moment it started. How bad is THE PUNISHER? it could be the worst film of all time. It could be the PLAN 9 of our times!!!! I am getting a ticket and dropping LSD to watch it, sounds good.
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Thomas Jane posts at superhero hypeunder the name castiglione, heres what he has posted:
it's not just an agenda fellas, it's a !!!!ing war. the dirty secret is that harvey and blob got wind of the strong positive early buzz in hollywood and started an inpromptu media blitz to basically buy and insure himself the # 1 spot this weekend. FACT: harvey walked up to hensleighs' agent at a party and told him that he thought he (harvey) had !!!!ed up, opening KB2 against the Punisher. the early buzz scared him, and he finally smelled what was in the air: Punisher was going to take a lot of $$$ away from him at the B.O.
but he's an 800 pound gorrilla, and when he gets scared, he gets angry. if you think for one hot SECOND that his hairy meaty hand is not all over this HK review/slaying of the PUNISHER, go reread the Art of War. i'm sure it was an easy sell, as harry has a small collection of quentins ass hairs in a small glass box next to his sink, which he uses to floss the peanuts from his teeth after a long night of munching mirimax excrement.
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http://www.superherohype.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=108415
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...cuz if Harry hates it, it must be really good! Harry is such a fat piece of shit tool, and his reviews all suck... they SUCK!! and he is always wrong. If Harry hates a movie, i love it, if he likes it, the best it can be is just an okay movie. Moriarty has much better taste, i agree with his reviews about 90% of the time, and it seems most people do also. I said it before and i will say it again, Harry should get the hell out and leave the site to Moriarty. So in closing i will say that Punisher is a bad ass character who is the best anti-hero in all of comicdom, while Harry is the biggest f*cking jackass in the world. Did i mention that i hate him? cuz i hate him, but i guess thats obvious. F*ck You Harry, you big fat f*cking tool! Supermonkey out!
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Reading these two bad reviews for the punisher, doesn't bode well for it, but then again I recall not agreeing with harry on a few other movies. I refuse however to let this review dampen my hopes that this movie will fulfill my vision of the punisher.
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.... The Punisher made more money this weekend than Kill Bill Vol. 2. I know B.O. doesn't matter, but I secretly hope it does.
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Apr 13, 2004 11:24:59 PM CDT
I have no problem agreeing with Harry's negetive or mixed review
by braine
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I've been reading you're over-the-top reviews for a while now, only ever checking back here to find an article on a cool looking flick that ain't out yet. I got my own review site EVERYBODY: www.kidjokerreview.cjb.net NO GRATUITOUS AMAZON.COM LINKS HERE! Heck the only links that really aren't that necessary are to the movie's official site, the trailer, and back to the home page (unneccessary 'coz everyone has a BACK button).
I mean, for FUCK'S SAKE Harry. -
NO!!! The trailer looked so good! How could this movie have possibly sucked? NO!!!!! Have you noticed the sarcasm yet? NO!!!!!!!
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Can't believe harry forgot to post this: www.amazon.com/aintitcool/iprefersyrup.html
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I saw the review about crappy movies... and then the Cedric ad. Golden. Haven't been around the site in a while, thought I'd say hey.
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Harry, you are a geek troll qho has no clue about movies. Ever since you said Reloaded needs friggin' vampires, I have no respect for your opinions. Punisher sucked a heck of a lot less than John Carpenter's Vampires (which you also loved). Oh, and by the way, can you quit putting you wheelchair stories into your reviews.....
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Wow, I'm amazed to see that Harry isn't pimping this movie hardcore. It is, after all, a Marvel movie. Maybe he's just tired because he was obviously sucking Hellboy's cock for a few months. Then again, what do I expect. This is a man who love The Matrix Revolutions, which was probably one of the worst movies I've seen in a while. Honestly, the action was amazing, but the story became an absolute clusterfuck. Also, I saw the Neo-as-Jesus metaphor without them showing him with his arms outstretched like he was nailed to a cross. Anyway, back to Punisher. While the trailers weren't mind-blowing, I definitely plan on checking it out. Also, Avi Arad, if you're reading this Talkback, you need to make sure you drop that check in the mail on-time. This review is what happens when Harry doesn't get paid.
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Harry always has to fill his fucking reviews with links to amazon.com???? The other review on this site did'nt have them and therefore was'nt a distraction. Call me feeble-minded all you want..saying that "harry has to pay bills, blah blah BLEH" and that it's harmless. whatever. I don't mind one or two ON SUBJECT links but this is getting silly now.
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Here: 1. "Good memories can save your life." 2. "Get everyone in. We're going hunting." 3. "I think God is gonna sit this one out." 4. "We're not lucky, we're blessed." 5. "I wrote that for you. I'm gonna sing it at your funeral." 6. "They can't kill me; I'm already dead." **************** Not to mention (probably) countless one-liners. I think it's fair to say that the movie isn't safe from cliches. I also saw those clips on Yahoo, and while I liked a couple of them, the music is pretty cheesy. I want to like this movie, and I really don't know who to believe right now, but I don't think we shold have knee-jerk reactions to this one.
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Among the recent spate of comic-book movies, from Spider-Man to the X-Men, The Punisher is unique. In 1974, Marvel Comics came up with the character of Frank Castle, a loner bent on vengeance. No one cared that Frank had no secret identity or supernatural gifts. The 1970s were a rich period for movie vigilantes -- Charles Bronson in Death Wish, Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry -- so Frank fit in. The question now is: Will Frank -- still a hit on the page as written by Garth Ennis and illustrated by Lewis Larosa -- find a place at the multiplex?
Let's hope so. The Punisher has a lot going for it. Thomas Jane, so good as Mickey Mantle in HBO's 61* and even better in the upcoming film Stander, finds the fight and the fear in Frank, allowing flashes of humor to surface in this former FBI agent. And John Travolta goes gloriously over the top as Howard Saint, the Florida tycoon who puts a hit out on Frank when a sting operation, headed by Frank, results in the death of Howard's son. It's Howard's wife, Livia (luscious Laura Elena Harring), who orders the hit on Frank's whole family, conveniently vacationing in Puerto Rico. The slaughter, as staged by Jonathan Hensleigh in his directing debut, is R-rated brutal. But it's true to the bleak spirit of the piece and provides the reason that Frank appoints himself the Punisher. What doesn't work is Frank's sentimental bond with three other bruised misfits, played by Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Ben Foster and John Pinette, and the way the film rotely connects the dots once Frank works out a punishment for Howard -- boring away at him from inside his private circle. Until then, The Punisher laudably exposes the dark core of the human heart.
PETER TRAVERS -
I remember watching "Deep Blue Sea" and thinking "Who WAS that guy?" He has a young Harrison Ford appeal to him. Everything else I've seen of him has borne that out. Even his interviews are cool. Is he Frank Castle? Well, not if you are a literalist, but I was never that big a fan of The Punisher to begin with. Bit of a one-note guy, that one. If they flesh him out a bit, I would be quite satisfied. And judging from the trailers and TV spot, it certainly doesn't look as wretched as Harry says. It looks competant, at least. Except for the crap NU-metal soundtrack, I see nothing really objectionable. Yes, the fact that one of the hottest babes in the universe is playing a character named "Joan The Mouse" is a bit smirk-worthy, but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief. Yes, this film could indeed suck, but this review is so over the top and vitriolic that it's hard not to take it with at least a pinch of salt.
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The funniest ever was a "Battlefield Earth" talkback, and there have been some classics since, but this one is pretty funny. BTW, the two reviews posted here, one for the "Punisher" and the other for the Coen's "Ladykillers" are examples of proper reviews, without the personal baggage. Whatever Harry's reasons for disliking the "Punisher" (and why shouldn't he dislike it? I feel the same about films like "Dude Where's My Car?") I feel his reviews are a bit personal and as such look unprofessional. Later.
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Harry's a bitch,but it's justified.
The new Punisher movie sucks,except for people who like it.
I've got a bomb in my ribcage.
I can handle this. -
two of the funniest goddamned comments i've read in a while. this talkback is hilarious, please not esome more classic talkbacks, i like to say the one for the review for the faculty is fucking hilarious, with the "harry's a tankass" joke.
goddamn this is the best part of the site, when everyone goofs on harry. still gonna see the punisher. kill bill is just as unoriginal, just stylistically, and dialgoue orich goodness infused. -
(this had me laughing for hours)
"this film sucks donkey dick"
vilos cohaagen
I went and saw the movie last weekend because I like the director and the cast involved, but man what a steaming pile of horse shit. I mean the story is just ripped off from Body Sntachers, Puppetmasters and Carpenters version of the thing right down to ripping off an exact scene. Another thing, and this is no offense Harry, but you must have been smoking crack when you typed your review. I've seen more tits in a Sesame Street episode. And when your close up came when Salma was bandaging your hand half the teenagers in the audience went "eeewwwwhhh" and laughed. Man, call Richard Simmons or something because you have a serious case of tank ass. Your nickname should be Cartman. As for the problems people are bitching about the boom mikes in the shots, that's probably due to some idiot teeenage projectionist at the theater who didn't put the 1:85 aperature in the projector or frame it right. I saw the same thing happen during Seagals Fire Down Below and about shit my pants laughing. Harry, you have become a sell out. You knock the shit out of Insurrection, but praise this piece of shit, Godzilla and Armegeddon.
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Okay, since I've heard all the bull$hit about how original and profound Kill Bill 2 is, here's a chance for us to see some clips from both movies:
Punisher (1st ofcourse):
http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&id=1808472690&cf=trailer
Kill Bill 2:
http://windowsmedia.com/mediaguide/ActionPics/KillBillVol2
NOW, if anybody is trying to tell me KB2 is original, they have got to be smoking crack! The entire training of Bride is ripped right from old Kung-fu movies...don't get me wrong, it's good and I love those old Shaolin flicks, but gimme a freaking break, Tarantino just copped the sh!t.
Okay, dialogue...okay the Scene with Carridine and Mardsen isn't cliche...or the one with Hannah...R U fukking kidding me! There's nothing original about that sh!t. Why do all these people know how to use Japanese edge weapons? It's complete and utter bias to Tarantino, and I love the guy's films, but NO WAY Kill Bill compares to Pulp Fiction or Jackie Brown, or even Reservior Dogs....NO FREAKING WAY! -
Can you provide some news on Fantastic Four and Batman: Intimidation?
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http://www.moviepoopshoot.com/elsewhere/index.html
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"I haven
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I mean, he gets invited to a set and he loves the films (Ghosts of Mars). He is friends with the director so he loves the films (Spykids). His track record is unspeakable! His love for universally LOATHED films like Armageddon, Star Wars ep. 1 and 2 and Flintstones 2 speaks more than anything else someone can say about him. Someone in this talkback got it right: Harry is trying to subtly and surreptitiously promote KILL BILL Vol. 2 by trashing its competition. It's obvious. Harry is in no way an objective reviewer. He has no street cred, so to speak. You can't trust anything he says about any movie, and everyone knows it. Now, all this being said, THE PUNISHER probably does suck. I mean, it's a stupid premise and a stupid "hero" and a stupid comic book. How many films have been made about a man's family being killed and his turn to vigilantism? The most recent: A MAN APART. There have been SO MANY of them from DEATHWISH to HARD TO KILL. The only ones who want to see this film are comic book geeks, and fortunately there aren't enough of them to give this film a profit. A comic book movie, in order to do well, has to appeal to the mainstream as well, like what SPIDERMAN or SUPERMAN can do. That's how a superhero movie does well. So if you go see this movie, get ready for another turd like HELLBOY, DAREDEVIL and SPAWN. And whatever you do, please, please never pay attention to attention-seeking "I'll do anything or link to anybody for a little cash" Harry Knowles. I wish I could link his name to his book on Amazon, now that'd be funny.
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Apr 14, 2004 2:48:35 PM CDT
New animation looks like Harry blowing a sperm bubble out of his
by originalskoobx
That is all.
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I know it's not correct, but come on it just looks better. It's like I go through Turbulance and not Terbulance, or how bout Terminate vs. Turminate, see it doesn't matter so I propose that from this day forth we only spell turd terd.
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And still you keep reading what you say you hate
SAD...... -
Apr 14, 2004 7:02:50 PM CDT
From now on every post I make will reference the Greatness of th
by darth_inedible
Oh who'm I kiddin
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But I'll be seeing Kill Bill first. I'm just glad Harry didn't spoil any important plot points like he did with Kill Bill Vol. 2. Ass.
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i see the emperor has no clothes on again, - re-release the dolf lundgren 'The Punisher', now that ..my friends..- was one excellant piece of work. IF it actually exists and is not some mindual short-circuit from early 90's, which it seems to be, due to how excellant that film seems these days.
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I seriously doubt if anyone has an agenda against The Punisher. Maybe Weinstein, but I doubt QT gived a rat's ass how his movie opens. If you saw Vol 1 and liked it, you're gonna see Vol 2. As for The Punisher, it looks good enough to catch on DVD.
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I'm just gonna go on record and say that just because Harry Knowles, whom I happen to wholeheartedly agree is a HORRENDOUS, terrible reviewer with bad taste, is associated in some form with Tarantino DOES NOT MEAN KILL BILL IS A BAD FILM. I see alot of people judging this film negatively simply based on the fact that Harry likes it, which is pretentious and stupid (like Harry). Now, there ARE some of you that HAVE objectively criticized the film based on legimate reasons and you are entitled to your opinions and I can respect them. However, there are alot of you that I see writing Kill Bill and Tarantino off simply because Harry likes it, or any other movie Harry might happen to like for that matter.
WHO CARES ABOUT HARRY? YOU are giving him the importance he thinks he is entitled to when you spend a whole fucking talkback wigging about him. LETS GET BACK TO TALKING ABOUT FILMS PEOPLE, NOT HARRY! -
I never notice the links, but then again, I never read any of the reviews on this site, I just skip to the talkbacks which are far more entertaining. Just a note for all that are suggesting it: it's highly doubtful that Harry is getting money for just putting the links on his site. More than likely AICN is just an Amazon associate (which any site can be). All you do is setup an account with Amazon, then every link has your ID in it so when a purchase is made on Amazon, you get a SMALL percentage. Of course, with AICN's traffic, that could add up if enough people buy through his links, but it's harmless really. Alot of sites do it.
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Apr 14, 2004 9:58:41 PM CDT
The Punisher turns what was rollicking R-rated entertainment int
by youridol
THE PUNISHER. A well written probing review by Eugene Novikov (of Film Blather), someone who (#1) paid attention and (#2) wrote it AFTER seeing the film...
"Go with God." "God's gonna sit this one out." Comic books and action movies often ask us to accept their heroes as righteous enforcers, flying, crawling, swinging or driving through the Mean Streets and acting as judge, jury and executioner. They've been wronged in one way or another, and so they take the law into their own hands, usually with the explicit intention of helping innocents, avenging victims, punishing wrongdoers, or some combination of the three. These stories can be fun, but if they go on for long enough someone will inevitably ask the Big Question: isn't it somewhat of a problem that this guy is acting as a one-man police force? Films like Walking Tall and Daredevil are complicit in their notions of moral rectitude, slavishly accepting their heroes' claims of being virtuous dealers of justice. Jonathan Hensleigh's The Punisher isn't quite so comfortable with that idea. Based on a popular serial about a government agent who methodically hunts down his family's killers and doesn't stop there, the cleverly self-reflexive movie constantly prods and provokes, hitting certain emotional notes and then asking why we reacted the way we did. It is one of the most thoughtful comic book adaptations I have ever seen. In a move that thousands will call "tonal inconsistency" (which is correct, but misses the point spectacularly), The Punisher brilliantly juxtaposes the vicious murder of the title character's family with the stylized, over-the-top, often hilarious mayhem that our hero later unleashes. Just-retired government agent Frank Castle (Thomas Jane) sees his life crash and burn before his eyes when banker and international criminal Howard Saint (John Travolta) sends men with guns to the Castle family reunion in retribution for the death of his own son in a high-profile bust. Wearing a shirt embossed with a scary white skull -- a gift from his now-dead young son -- Castle, who narrowly escaped his own demise, methodically plans his vengeance on the killers. That vengeance, far more ruthless and cruel than Saint's, yet executed with precisely the same motivation, bears little aesthetic resemblance to the unexpected invasion of Castle's family party. The death of Castle's loved ones is haunting and deadly serious, filmed with nary a hint of a traditional comic book mentality and in a way that threatens to bring tears to your eyes even though you always knew it was coming. The images are drained of color; the camera stumbles and shakes. Most of Castle's revenge, by contrast, is every bit the comic book movie, overblown, cartoonish, cheerful, and usually played for laughs. "Call the Russian!" snaps an irritated Travolta, and our hero is attacked by a bleached-blond 6'10" assassin while his oblivious sidekicks perform an impromptu waltz across the courtyard. A character drops a woman off a bridge... and then she gets run over by a train. People walk across the screen and leer at the camera. Thomas Jane triumphantly ascends from the ground on a mechanical trap door with his shirt torn to shreds and hanging at his sides. The violence factor doesn't let up an inch, but the absurdity level skyrockets, and suddenly instead of being horrified, the audience is in hysterics. The idea here is how easily we are manipulated into taking certain attitudes toward violence. I thought of that joke in Futurama wherein a depressing newsreel had Three Stooges sound effects "added to lessen tragedy." The Punisher makes the viewer go from having tears in his eyes to cheering, laughing and hooting in a matter of minutes. Because the maiming and killing is now being perpetrated by the title character, who is set up as a hero, authority figure and family man, we accept it without question despite the fact that his actions aren't an iota more justifiable than the villain's, and that the movie makes no effort to refute this. For a while, the film's stance is unclear. Is Hensleigh, who is making his directing debut after a long career as an action screenwriter, commenting on these things or hoping that we won't notice them? The ever-increasing and clearly intentional level of absurdity made me suspect the former, but the finale made me certain of it. Our hero unloads such a terrible barrage of violence and stark cruelty that his assertion that it is "punishment, not revenge" becomes impossible to accept. There is one moment of such stunning brutality that all of the hooting and hollering we did over the past ninety minutes rushes back through us in a wave of horror and shame. The quintessential final image, which might otherwise have evoked a big cheer, can only be greeted with utter, breathtaking dread. The Punisher turns what was rollicking R-rated entertainment into a punch in the face. There will no doubt still be those who find it hilarious through and through. This is unsurprising and even forgivable, as the film is very funny, very violent, and very courageous in its willingness to be misunderstood. But peel away a layer, and you'll find that The Punisher is asking you a question: Why are you laughing? A- Eugene Novikov (Film Blather) -
If STALLONE had played The Punisher in a Michael Bay or Renny Harlin film -- or if SCHWARZENEGGER had played him in a film directed by John McTiernan, we wouldn't have this watered down version we have opening on April 16th!!!
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Dude....you need to get a life in a desperate way...if you don't like what Harry does stop reading the site...Its that simple!!!!
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Does this site still have cred when a "film" review is based on a scene that's in a commercial that doesn't play that way in the actual film? When we're ona site that makes a huge show of knowing everything in a script & characters' names [how many of us knew the names of all the battle scenes in Kill Bill months before the movie] yet Harry acts as if he hasn't even remotely followed the Punisher and expects us to see his P.O.V. Here's the problem, Harry -- you name drop half a dozen movies to show you have "cred" in naming revenge flicks, then you completely disavvow the source material for this. The Punisher is based on Welcome Back Frank the same way Hellboy is based on Seed of Destruction. It's not Death Wish or The Crow -- it's about broken people. You're giving people a bad taste about Kill Bill2 because you;re going out of your way tos lag the movie. I really doubt you didn't get any positive reviews of the film, but hey money talks if Quentin walks to #1 as this place tries to bury Punisher under a mountain of questionable reviews. You can't have it both ways man -- if you only give good reviews to movies you're expected to do so for cred and do so in lame poorly written & questionable sexual analogies, that's why you have a backlash against you. But hey, what do I know?
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Maybe it's the painkillers that Harry might have been on because he sounded high while writing this review. Maybe he should see the Punisher and then compare it to the extremely shitty Dolph version which featured Dolph meditating naked in the sewer, and not once did they feature the skull shirt. At least this one is truer to the comics than the Dolph version was. They could have called it "Angry Guy With a Gun" and it would have been the same shit. Dolph. What a stupid name. At least Harry didn't spoil any major plot points like he did when he reviewed Kill Bill Vol 2. Ass.
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If anyone here has ever seen the classic 80's action thriller NIGHT HAWKS with Stallone and Billy Dee Williams, Sly was a bad ass cop and that is the way THE PUNISHER should have been played. The producers dropped the ball! Even Arnold's RAW DEAL had Arnie dishing out the "hurt" to all the bad guys 'Arnie' and 'Punisher' style!
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Apr 15, 2004 1:57:53 AM CDT
my 2 cents (aka Punisher fanboy bitching about bad reviews)
by dejectedgeek
I am a BIG fan of the Punisher, specifically the recent version of the character written by Garth Ennis. Now, I know pretty much any superhero or comic related movie, with the exceptions of Spider-Man, Hellboy, and maybe X-Men 2 (AKA Wolverine > X-Men) have been pretty much crappy. With the recent bombing, IMO, of Hulk, superhero/comic movies have taken a hit. While I wasn't expecting The Punisher to be a revolutionary movie, I was expecting it to be a better stab at adapting a comic to a movie. In my opinion, adapting a comic like The Punisher is a lot harder than it is to adapt something like Daredevil (But let's not go there) for a few reasons. One, because The Punisher doesn't really have any powers that would wow the audience. Two, people are somewhat automatically put off because they view the Punisher as some guy who went nuts when his family was gunned down and so he just kills every criminal he can. Three, the Punisher doesn't really run into a lot of supervillains (sans his encounters with other NYC based heroes like Spidey or Daredevil), so you lose interest because you're not expecting a huge dramatic fight between the antagonist and protagonist.
The main issue I have with the film when I heard it was going to be made into a movie was they were "present"izing it. First off, the time Frank Castle spent in Vietnam during the war is probably one of the most shaping and essential parts of his character, when you read the comics, regardless of writer, they always come back to his experience in 'Nam somehow. Giving you a reach into his head and trying to understand him some how. Secondly, the movie is based in FLORIDA...that doesn't really help the storytelling via surroundings department. Now with news of the sequel, I REALLY hope they base it in NYC.
I don't want to say that people who don't read the comic and see the movie based on said comic are ignorant if they give it a bad review. But I think if you watch The Punisher, you should try to read at least one issue of the Welcome Back, Frank story arc that the movie is loosely based on. The writing is what gives the character a lot more depth than you would realize. Anyway, I'm ready for the flames! -
Defenders of the crapfest Punisher starring Dolph Lundgren, unite! Now line up against the wall so I can smoke you emineffers. And as for the new movie, I think it looks like shit too. It's old news, and lost its meaning over the years. I collected the Punisher comics back in my youth, and enjoyed them thoroughly. But I feel as if I'm in a small group of former comic-book fans who wish certain properties never make it to the big screen anymore. I've been majorly underwhelmed with today's cinematic "vision" of some of these stories. Anybody wanna join me in this crusade? Preserve the comic book properties! Down with Avi! Down with Marvel & DC! Down with Harvey, Valenti, WB, Sony, and all the studios and execs that have raped my adulthood with comics that I loved as a child! When I have a choice this year with The Punisher, Hellboy, Spider-man, Blade, and Catwoman, I feel this stronge bloodthirsty urge to say, "ehh."
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Thanks for the informative review! I didn't think it would be that good, now I'm convinced it will be worth my weekend ticket money!
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Apr 15, 2004 3:01:45 AM CDT
ohwillo: It doesn't matter if Harry read "Welcome Back Frank"...
by mosquito march
All Hensleigh took from Garth Ennis was a handful of supporting characters. For all his talk, Jonathan Hensleigh is NOT a Punisher fan, or he wouldn't have tried to "fix" a lot of things about the character that were never broken. He absolutely does not get the character, and the film he's made shows it. This is a worse interpretation of a comic by a new hack director than even Daredevil, and that's saying something. It makes the Dolph Lundgren film look a million times better, and I urge everyone to go back and view that film after seeing the new one. Because, for all its shoddy production value, and needless manipulations of the character's origin, they nailed who Frank Castle became AFTER his family was killed. They played him as a sociopathic mass-murderer, which he is, and the action was much more hardcore, which it should be. Hensleigh didn't deliver on ANYTHING that he promised with this film. All the bragging about it being like a hardboiled '70s police thriller is B.S., and so is all the crap he said about loving Ennis's run. Fans should be LIVID about this adaptation. Hensleigh fucked it up.
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it's just the way Harry talks about the characters from Welcome Back Frank. He treats Joan, Spaker Dave, Bumpo, and the Russain like they are terrible characters created by Hensleigh.
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Apr 15, 2004 7:56:42 AM CDT
Posting an article that whines about harry from FOUR YEARS AGO?
by minderbinder
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The review is over the top. I saw this movie about a week ago and thought it was pretty good. I had no prior knowledge of the Punisher universe btw.
Nothing spectacular, but it had believable characters in somewhat realistic setting. And think that is the main reason why Harry and the rest of the fanboys don't like the movie.
Spoilers below:
The heros and villians don't have any superpowers like special hearing, shooting laser beams from their eyes, etc... Perhaps this goes against the geek world comic book hero rules. Instead, they substituted excentric personalities in the place of superpowers, like the Russian giant, the Memphis Blues assassian, or gay mobster.
Also, I thought the portrayal of the extreme geeks, the fat boy and the computer geek, were dead on. Perhaps this hit too close to home for Harry and the rest of the extreme (emphasis) geek world. How dare you pook fun of geeks in a comic book movie!
The characters were imaginative and the combat realistic. The punisher comes out hurt after every fight, and gets his ass kicked more often than not. He kills his enemies with his hands and guns - no flying karate bullshit or superpowers. The story is a vengence flick - the criminals and the hero both trying to get revenge.
It is too bad this movie is going up against Kill Bill 2, as I think it would do well against the non-hardcore geek adience. Kill Bill is full of unbelievable bull-shit, this isn't. Both stories are good, so that is your basic choice. -
Apr 15, 2004 1:14:41 PM CDT
The Punisher is getting shit reviews and Kill Bill is kicking as
by winterchili
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The Punisher is getting owned
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you fucking buffoon! read the post above it, i don't care if he was rippping harry apart, it's the insane comedy, that comes from this board. i find it fucking hilarious! it never gets old and that why the boards are the best thing. if harry didn't like the flick that's his perogative, i've got my own opinion. but since you're so fucking retarded, you didn't even read the post above it (my other post) so i just put up my favorite post? what's it to you, and cuntboy, how'd you find out my pet name?!
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1: I plan to see it. 2: It's an average action movie. 3: I'm not expecting much from it, so I can expect to be pleasantly surprised afterward. 4: AICN NEEDS MODERATED BOARDS!!! Try and catch me, BIIIIATCH!
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Got my punisher mini-DVD for free in
Tempe, AZ, from the real Emcee Hoodlums &
We -
Ultra-violent, mean-spirited nonsense. Just gimme a bucket o' popcorn and giant Sprite, and I'm there. Besides, I have yet to see a comic book movie that I didn't enjoy on some level. Even Spider-Man was decent as long as you stopped watching before the flying Green Power Ranger showed up.
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Apr 16, 2004 2:46:00 PM CDT
harry's just all fucking steamed that somebody "had the nerve" t
by zombiejesus666
Harry is the biggest fucking suck-up suck-ass lard-ass ass-kissing lard-suck-fuck-ass i have ever seen in my life. i would bet even fucking money that tarantino hates his fucking guts and just acts like they're buddies for the free publicity and nine-paragraph handjob reviews. watch your fucking weight problem, harry, you slimy piece of shit
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Apr 16, 2004 7:14:47 PM CDT
In defense of Harry's ability to see a comic adaptation with an
by pardon_my_zinger
I had never read either "Ghost World" or "American Splendor" before seeing their respective movie adaptation and I totally loved both of them (even having the privledge to discuss "Splendor" with Harry in person at the AICN screening in NYC last year). I've also never read "Hellboy," and have yet to see that movie, but I have a feeling I'll like it (based on what I've been hearing/reading about it); and if I don't it probably won't have anything to do with my lack of familiarity with the source material. ALL ADAPTATIONS OF ANOTHER MEDIUM SHOULD BE ABLE TO STAND ON THEIR OWN. Now I should point out several things: 1) I haven't seen "Punisher" yet, so I can't offer an opinion on it (although I've read about four reviews and they ALL bascially said it sucked ass, so I may wait for the DVD, like I did with "Daredevil"); 2) This is not a defense of Harry's views on the whole (I LIKED "Star Trek: Nemesis" thank you very much)and 3) I totally and utterly loved "Spider-Man," probably helped in no small part that I'm a slobbering fan of Spidey comics; as such, I do acknoweldge SOME connection between being a fan of the source material and what one might think of a film adaptation. Still, to a degree it's an apples-and-oranges situation. For example, I've read, or I should say ENDURED two John Grishem novels and I think that, to put it politely, he's a hack. One of those was "The Firm," yet I liked the film version.
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Just saw The Punisher. Great movie. Will see Kill Bill volume 2 tonight so I can't compare the two films yet but The Punisher is definitely superior to Kill Bill Volume 1. No comparison. ALL HAIL THE PUNISHER!
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Apr 16, 2004 10:16:44 PM CDT
30% on Rotten Tomatoes...Its not just Harry who thinks this movi
by bong
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Why oh Why, I just do not get it, I mean when Daredevil came out and it did not live up to the fans expectations, at least one could say it was because it was rushed, done to quickly to live off of X-Men 2's fame, but the Punisher did not even have that excuse. The movie reeks, the lines delivered really seem like some guy was writting them on post-its and giving them to the cast. I have seen more creative dialouge on my fridge using magnitic words. They seem to have gotton it worng, The Punisher is dark, really, really, dark not brooding in a room drinking to much. Most people I know have fathers that do that, not a guy that can take superheros toe to toe. Frank Castle is supposed to be what Batman can't be, he supposed to go to the line, I mean they gave the film a R rating, why not use that and make a really dark Marvel Nights Max tail. I am really beginning to worry that DC will be able to steal the Marvel flame when their movies come out becuase of the Crap they are allowing now. Sure Spider-Man will probably be a hit, but they are even screwing with the franchise by leaving the fans disinchanted and pissed off with the previous product; Punisher. The movie did reek, and I would recommend renting it in stead of going to the theatre and seeing it, its just not worth it
really -
heres a repost of my post from cinescape
Ok I saw Punisher this morning.
Is it the best movie ever? No.
The best Marvel movie? No.
Is it a bad movie? NO!
It wasnt as action filled as i like it was a story and character driven movie. Harry's review was ablolute bullcrap. It was a pretty decent movie. for the first time EVER i didnt mind Travolta in a movie.
Hes even DEAD OUT LYING about the gay scene, that isnt disgust on his face its Surprise , if you see how the scene unfolds youd sure as hell understand it.
im gonna say it now Harry is lying with no clue, period.
with some of the things he says im not sure he even saw the movie.
as far as the neighbor characters, they were very neccesary in my eyes since you needed to inject some lighter moments, the movie was just very dark and it was needed, and it would have been stupid and off character to have Frank busting jokes to lighten the mood.
My critisisms would be. Im an action freak so i would have liked more, and the movie felt very much to me like it was shot in a ghost town there was very few extras, which made the feel a little weird. but this doesnt make it a BAD movie, Cuz it wasnt.
I say Go see it and see for yourself. I was so skeptical of Thomas Jane as Punisher and John Travolta as anything but you know what, They worked...WELL
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Ok, so Harry's review is most offbase in some details: The Russian doesn't talk, #1, #2 The Punisher's "look of disgust" or whatever is way off base, and only someone who didnt see how the film progressed would deem it such. As a Punisher fan, I was looking forward to this a lot, and caught it today. I think what hurts the film the most is the TERRIBLE SCORE. "Kill them all" does not need to be followed by the music DUN DUN DAHHHHH!!! Terrible, this is what is giving the movie a B-movie feeling, nothing else. Change the music, the film would instantly be better. The fact that Harry does not mention the most glaring stupid part of the film is also suspicious, and adds to the evidence that he is full of it: the fire hydrant. When you see the film, you will see what I mean. This is one of the stupidest things I've seen, and is incredibly lame looking. The "ghost town" comments are dead on...the city seems empty, and devoid of cops. Anyway, I'd recommend it to action fans and comic fans. Nothing amazing, but Thomas Jane does a damn fine job as the Punisher and saves the film from disaster.
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Okay, so after reading these posts I was just as pissed off with Harry's review until I saw the film today. Okay, now I am what one may call a Frank Castle nut. I own nearly every comic book appearance since panel one and no one could have been happier that they seemed to be going with Ennis' "Welcome back Frank" storyline for this film. However, anyone who has seen it can tell you that aside from having Frank, The Russian, Joan, Bumpo, and Spacker Dave the story couldn't be more different. I will not say this film was a horrible pile of monkey crap, and despite what was implied by Harry it IS BETTER than the Dolph version. However, it is certainly the worst comic adaptation from Marvel since Blade has been released. First of all there is one blaring point that NO ONE that has ever read an issue of Punisher can ignore...This film mostly takes place on the mean streets of...Tampa, Florida?!? WTF? Sunshine and freaking palm trees? In a Punisher movie?!? Did this director even read an issue before he signed on? I had hoped they were only filming the movie there and maybe wouldn't say in the actual film that it takes place there...but they did. Frank going to a family reunion in Puerto Rico? WTF? Why? His given name is Italian. There were a lot of things that first time director Hensleigh (sp?) got very wrong and it spoiled what COULD have been a great Punisher story. It reminds me a lot of the story Kevin Smith tells in his Evening with DVD about Jon Peters and the Superman movie where Superman has no powers and no costume cause it's "faggy". Either that or Hensleigh is from Tampa and got a lot of props from the locals to completely destroy a great comic book anti-hero by recasting him in an area filled with more old farts than gun toting psychopaths. A few minor changes here and there: As eluded to earlier, a better score, being filmed and set in New York for crying out loud, and more action like the ending would have been great! I actually loved the fight scene with The Russian. I thought it was funny and it served a purpose. I enjoyed the Harry Heck guitar guy a lot for the whole five minutes he was on screen. His role could have been bigger. The ending shot was excellent and would have been perfect if the rest of the film hadn't been so garbled and at times down right unwatchable. The dialogue often felt like it was written by a third grader. Hell, don't even get me started on how he got his famous Skull. That was downright ridiculous. I will say though that Jane is great as the Punisher and he really looks the part. The few moments where the film is actually good he really convinces you that he IS Frank Castle. Just like Daredevil, I can only hope the film is mildly successful so it will warrant a sequal. Then they will have a chance to do it right. Get Ennis to do the story, get Tarantino to direct it in NEW YORK, and let Frank do what he does best---Kick ass and let the body count soar! I was really looking forward to shoving Harry's review back in his face today, but the fact of the matter is NO ONE who has ever enjoyed an issue of the comic should say they loved the film. It's too bad that it looks like it will be many years before we get another version of the Punisher tale, and yet another chance for some nimrod to screw up what should be the easiest comic book to translate to film. Go see it if you must, hell, even to get the Gross up there so they'll make a better sequel. But if you're going to be even mildly entertained don't waste your hard earned money.
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Punisher dominates it.
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and I am a Punisher fan, I thought the score should have been darker as opposed to being more of a western score but that argument itself is kind of lame and pretensious so don't listen to me about THAT...either way I will keep it short, if you don't like the Punisher than I don't know why you would see this, unless of course you also like old fashioned action movies that don't try to be too hip and too clever to actually be an action movie...but truly if you find "front towards enemy" funny than this movie is for you and let me just say the last twenty minutes are fucking bliss for a Punisher fan (minus the giant flaming skull at the end, but still that was kind of cool but in an "oh my god I can't believe they did that" kind of way...SO TO SUM IT UP...If you have ever loved the Punisher get your ass in a theater and see The Punisher so they make about 40 more sequels to this thing because I am telling ya, they almost got it right, and if they make a sequel it shall INDEED rule...SO I liked the Punisher and I'd say that to anyone's fucking face! And if you liked Daredevil than you have no right to shit on The Punisher, sorry, not to be a dick or anything but Daredevil was pretty lame...
SO help out The Punisher, the movies will only get better...
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The Punisher (2004) Is a damn good movie. I wouldn't care what any other naysayer would say because they would all suck dick. Including that fat, ugly, red-headed hillbilly named Harry Knowles would say. He sux the most cock of 'em all. Him and his precious little kill bill v2 and shit. I'd have to say that Moriarty's review is the most accurate due to Harry's piss-poor review of other films he said were gonna be great but turned out to be turdish shit! (Bad Boys II anyone?) The Punisher Is great and don't try to knock it or else you might wind up with a goddamn arrow in your fuckin' neck. I'm out...
ONE,
SouthSide...
P.S. The Punisher kicks all sorts of ass. I cannot wait for a sequel you goddamn bitches!!! -
BNasty, you said: "However, it is certainly the worst comic adaptation from Marvel since Blade has been released" ... Do you mean to say that in the time since "Blade," "Punisher" is the worst Marvel adaptation? Or that "Blade" is the second-worst Marvel movie? I happened to think that the first "Blade" is still probably the coolest Marvel movie, thanks to Norrington's eye and the R-Rating. It's certainly better than the sequel, "Daredevil," and (imo) the first "X-Men" and "Spidey" movies. And it's better than "Punisher." /// So anyway I saw "Punisher" tonight. And Harry was right. It does indeed suck el wango. I still think that Harry is a douche for handling the "Punisher" review situation in the way that he did.
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SmarkJobber, sorry, I meant that Blade was good. What I meant was since the modern Marvel era (Blade - Punisher 2004, not Punisher 1990, Captain America, or Fantastic Four, etc.) I would say Punisher is the worst. I really cannot understand how any fan of the Punisher could EVER say they enjoyed this pile of shit. And I don't mean a pretty little poodle turd either. I am talking a gigantic steaming mountain of Great Dane crap here. Honestly, I am beginning to think those of you who claim to be Punisher fans and are actually defending this movie by saying things like "seriously, the last twenty minutes are worth it for any fan" either never saw this shit, or were on some great drugs. If so on the latter could you send some my way? Seriously, true Punisher fans should be completely OUTRAGED with the treatment this film received from a hack first time director who just wanted to "fix" some things about the character. For crying out fucking loud people, Frank Castle was never broken. Unlike Spider-Man or Daredevil there were no radioactive - genetic engineering updates needed here! Frank Castle is a fucking normal man, albeit a crazy sociopathic one. I could have understood making him say a gulf war vet instead of Nam or something, but this "origin" story was so far removed from Castle it was almost as if Hensleigh had this story brewing in him for years and just made a few minor changes when he landed the character (like he did with Die Hard with a Vengeance). While I will admit the last twenty or so minutes were pretty good (except the giant flaming skull and Saint's death) it hardly makes up for the dogshit that came before it. That would be like calling Bush's album Razorblade Suitcase a GREAT album just because you liked the song Greedy Fly. It's the sum of all the parts folks, and like it or not, this movie was horrible. Hey, as I said earlier I am a huge Punisher fan. Aside from owning nearly every book Castle has ever appeared in I also have a mountain of things personally signed by the god himself Garth Ennis. From comics and action figures to clothing and posters I've got it all. NOBODY here wanted Punisher 2K4 to work more than I did. The fact is that it didn't. As I said before hopefully enough idiots will shell out their hard earned cash for it and it will garner a sequel. In which case fanboys like me will surely be writing LGF some very naughty letters demanding Hensleigh not be involved in another shitfest posing as my favorite comic book vigilante.
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I saw it and the first half is okay. I didn't mind Bumpo and Dave and Joan, but the Verdi scene is pretty silly, and the third act gets really bad. Travolta's bad guy does some really stupid things. Thomas Jane never looked comfortable in that trenchcoat.
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- I guess this talk back gets mpre play, so I am being repetivitve from a different link:------------
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WRONG: ---- I went to Both KB-2 and Punisher last night, and enjoyed both. ----------- I have not read the comic, but I think the concept is great- I am actually surprised that I don't hear more complaints from the comic fans, however in terms of his origins. Grant you, I know only what I have heard here, but if I understand this correctly, the comics have a Vietnam Special forces guy who is married with a kid- who are then killed in a RANDOM act of violence - no connections, and Castle loses it (probably even more) for the senselessness of their deaths- THAT WOULD have been better - Hollywood always has to have these stupid connections to make the 1 movie a neat (and therefore, predictable and "seen it 100x already" loop). And that is lame, but the way his family dies and the end payoff are BOTH very well done. -------- Yeah Harry is right about the goofy 3-some neighbors, nbut teh Russian fight is FUN, and this movie is FAAAAAAAR from "everything we moved beyond from the 80's). This novie is in fact FAR BETTER and more HARD CORE than ANYTHING from the 70's 80's with teh exception of the (still) best Comic adaptation- Donners Superman (and the corny but still good for a solid homorable mention Superman II) --- INb fact, I would rather watch this 10 more x back to back than ANY of the Shit-storm Batman flicks (even though I like that character better). IF you could deal with the stupdiy CONTANTLY thrown at you in Burton's over-rated diareah, you should like this. There is nothing even remotely as stupid in this movie as say, the joker putting on a pair of glasses and asking Batman not to punch him, or the joker falling off a building backwards, then miraculously teleporting to a ledge right below the roof top and pulling batman abnd vickie down- only to have them miracvulously grab a ledge and pull him down, or say the Bruce wayne "do ya wanna get crazy" scene that made less sense than the turd I just flushed, or penguins threatening world domination with missiles strapped to theier backs, or say I dunno the JOKER having killed Brruces parents (The new Punnisher origin makes that lookeven stupider). No Punisher is NOWHER NEAR that lame. Is it great - no ...is it FUN if you are not expecting LOTR- YES.
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Nincompoop- made an EXCELLENT point. I HAVE NO IDEA how someone can think Hellboy is a great movie and this is shit. Hellboy WAS a good movie, but (Dare I say it) had Hellboy not had Ron Pearlman starring it would have been... Mediocre at BEST. Pealman MADE Hellboy, the story was nothing special (did ANYONE REALLY have any desire to see Hellboy vs. Immortal dog the fight, the rematch, the re-re-match etc.?)------------ And lets face it the action in Hellboy kinda sucked. Choreography, weak, fights short, payoff, average. NO WAY that movie is at the opposite end of the ratings scale as Punisher as I'd have thought from reading this site. Both are decent comic adaptations. FAR BETTER than any non superman crap from the 70's 80's, not as good as spiderman or X-men- somewhere solidly in between.
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Another thing Punisher Did that was everything the 80s WERE ABSOULTELY NOT --------- ****SPOILER WARNING FOR THE REST OF THIS POST**** -------- When Punisher gets to the REAL baddies at the end he is MERCILESS. There is ABSA-FUCKING-TIVELY NO WAY you can compare what he does to any 80's movie crap. THe Punisher is there to kill them ALL- PERIOD. And none of that Oh -so -fucking gay hollywoodism where the hero gets to that bad guy, then suddely loses his balls (after killing like 50 less evil people) only to let the Baddie off the hook and shoot 1st- so the hero wins in SELF DEFENSE- ALWAYS hated that shit- and it AINT HERE - The Punisher sets up and Kills Saint in a way as brutal and merciless as evrything Saint did to him- Makes him kill his own best freind and beloved wife. Saint: "You killed my son". Then (Best line in the flick) Scream in backgtround as Saints other kid loses the battle with gravity and the punishers Bomb -Aaaaaahhhh BOOOOM Punisher: "Both of them" No Mercy, tough shit- you fucked with the wrong guy, now you die mentally and pshyically in pain. The payoff in this move was very good.
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The Bad:
After seeing The Punisher, I do question Harry's motives (Sorry I didn't until now)- I mean had he not liked it - fine, but to say it's as bad as he claims is silly (especially when he liked Hulk, Armageddon, SW EP II, and though Hellboy and Blade II were the second coming)
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The good:
Ragging Harry for not being able to post a bad review for his buddies is Legit (Lets ALL face it Once upon a time in Mexico was a complete piece of shit that makes the Pusnisher look like Citazen Kane), but STOP BADGERIG HARRY ABOUT THE AMAZON LINKS-WHO CARES. This is a business that we enjoy FOR FREE-Amazon links do not represent a conflict of interest- so stop bitchin when he makes money off that (Hell I USE THE DAMN LINKS when it offers something of interest).
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Well just saw the movie, and it proves to me that if Harry hates the movie is worth seeing. I thought it was pertty enjoyable.
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Saw 'em both. Volume 2 is one of my favorite fuckin' movies so far this year. I'm going to see it again tonight, with the same group of friends I saw it with last night. Who thought watching David Carradine make a sandwich would be so damn transfixing? That's sure-handed filmmaking, my friends. Now the Punisher, hmmmm.... I just saw it earlier today. The three loudmouthed stoner fuckheads three rows up from me loved it. The rest of the audience laughed their collective ass off throughout the whole thing. The biggest laugh occurred when good ol' Tom Jane created the giant flaming skull logo out of a parking lot full of exploding cars. Fucking hilarious. Don't get me wrong, I wanted a good Punisher movie. I absolutely love dark, take-no-shit, asskicking heroes. I wanted to see two badass revenge flicks this weekend. Unfortunately, with the Punisher all I got was ten minutes of good stuff and 85 minutes of pain.
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I've said it before, and so have about a million other people posting here: Harry's fat ass has less than zero credibility, none, zilch. If you haven't figured that out by now, God help you. He gave great reviews to episode 1&2, Daredevil, Godzilla, Armagedon, Blade 2 and probably a million other corn filled turds whose reviews I didn't read. I must say it's pretty fucking funny too, because after one of his reviews you get all these fanboys either for or against the movie he just reviewed, and the ensuing retarded commentary is way more entertaining than any fucking movie. Kind of like going to the zoo and watching monkeys throw shit at each other. As the man say's "you can't make this shit up". Keep it up guys! -
Apr 17, 2004 11:07:19 PM CDT
http://www.viewaskew.com/newboard/messages567/669.html
by fletch f fletch
Cut and paste for the warm-and-fuzzies.
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Not a new opinion of Harry, although I'm kind of surprised that the whole "Punisher" controversy on AICN has spread to other web sites. And in defense of Knowles, re: that article -- I remember Harry despising "Monkeybone." Just to put a damper on the poster's accuracy in research.
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...Luc Besson, right after The Professional. He's definitely flawed but with a good script (NOT written by him) he could have made something memorable.
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No CGI buffoonery. Thank God.
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Harry, you are dead wrong in every respect here.
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Apr 18, 2004 2:35:07 AM CDT
The Punisher kicks ass/Once again a truly beautiful film gets tr
by watashiwadare
go see it again! and always think for yourself.
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Where can i find the script of Batman Begins that leaked online?
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Yeah it's got some cheese, yeah the score is God-awful in parts(at least it wasn't Elfman), but overall this was a very enjoyable film. Jane's perfect as Castle, better than any person to play a superhero so far post-Blade, the action was great it was realistic (barring one or two scenes) and it was a complete throw back to what action was pre-Matrix, this is easily one of the better action movies of the last 7 years. I don't know how in the hell Harry can revere such travesties as Spiderman, Attack of the Clones, and xXx, and call this movie utter crap. It is the only comic book movie so far (barring Hellboy, good characters, horrid action)to remotely get it right.
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Apr 18, 2004 10:13:24 AM CDT
EXTRA! EXTRA! PUNISHER KILLS SELF PROCLAIMED "FILM CRITIC" ORANG
by max rockatansky
Gotta hand it to you guys, with this talkback you definitely made my day.
Rarely have I ever seen such collective and gratifying revolt since the fall of the Romanian dictatorship under Ceausescu.
This is Harry`s "Heaven`s Gate" and he utterly deserved it.
Thank's again, guys.
PS:The Dolph PUNISHER was and unexpectedly good and hardass B-action movie. Go check it to see what Tarantino swiped for KB1 and TRUE ROMANCE. -
May be exagurrating how good Punisher is, but he IS right that its as good (it's actually MUCH better) than Batman 1 which is an over-rated shit fest. It isn't close to Superman 1 though. The Punisher is a decent movie (yes with flaws and some cheesy scenes). But the action is excellent.
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Nintendo, you know this is 2 talkbacks now that you bitch about The Punisher ripping off the burning logo from "The Crow" (a shitty movie by the way).
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- "Need you say more"? Uh YEAH. You are defininng the punisher from 3 seconds of film at the end....Do you know what ripping off a stupid scene for 3 seconds means? Da Da DAAA- HUMM ...NOTHING. Who gives a shit, The Punisher has flaws, but a 3 second scene is not one worth commenting that much on. Shit I wish they'd cut it because its stupid, but whatever. It doesn't hurt the plot, it doesn't change the story, it doesn't even MEAN ANYTHING. I mean get hung up on rip offs that have even a semblance of importance if your going to bother getting pissed.
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All I care about is that the Punisher was a decent comic book movie- and makes "The Crow" look like the forgettable $300 dollar Turd it was...hell I wasted my time watching The Crow in a theatre, and all I wish in retrospect was that it was The Punisher I used that 2 hours of my life on instead.
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ok. i aint seen this movie yet, but, isnt it supposed to loosely based on garth ennis run of punisher comics? if so this movie should fuckin rule!
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What movie did you see?! I'm assuming your just kidding about your post regarding The Punisher..But in case your not--please don't ever offer your opinion of a movie again as you have just lost all credibility. The Punisher was the biggest piece of shit I have seen in a long time!!
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First off, HARRY........you can never in your lifetime blast a movie for having 'bad editing' after worshiping the crap that was RETURN OF THE KING. The ending is the worst editing I have ever seen, and Ive seen nearly every movie since I was born. Now I just saw Punisher becuase it was the only movie worth seeing this week. QT is boring and so overrated.I havent seen Kill Bill 1 or 2 and I wont. I was dooped 3 times before and I refuse to see anymore Tarantino movies, and when I get to Hollywood I refuse to work with the man either. I mean come on........2 movies about a woman trying to kill one man......where is the plot there? I guess I'll never know. I should just say that I think Harry is in the pocket of some filmmakers.....thats why we get reports of every donut ate by Peter Jackson daily. You know what I mean. PUNISHER 2004--------I liked it alot. You cannot sit there and tell me that crap like Hellboy and Hulk were even romotly close to being this good. Hulk sucked becuase the effects were awful and he only hulked when he thought of his bad childhood??? Lame. Hellboy once again had lame effects, and was so unoriginal. I know its based off a comic, but when all your material has already been done.....it doesnt work. Hellboys ending was a near carbon copy of DEEP RISING! Punisher had weak moments....Stamos cannot act people and her last 2 lines were awful. The Punisher flames in the cars was cheesey, but only becuase its been done a hundred times since the CROW. But I liked everything else. THe score wasnt as bad as people are saying. It was almost non existent. I remember long periods of no sound. You cant really bash the neighbors....the chubby guy and peircing DAvid when you claim that MERRY AND PIPPIN were amazing charchters. Face it LOTR fans.they were only there to have an obvious gay relationship, which I am convinced will show up in the ROTK EE. I dont know why people are bashing the opening scenes so much. Normal to me. People say it is ineffective to see a whole mans family gunned down before him? ANd you cried when Sam got married? Lame!!!! Im sorry, I cant go on anymore. It really ticks me off that this site has become all about money. Please, admit youve sold out then do your reviews. Leave the REAL reviews to those of us that still love movies, not just the ones were are paid to praise. Like I love how your whole site BASHED Massacre 2003, yet your site is loaded with ads........lame!
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1. "you can never in your lifetime blast a movie for having 'bad editing' after worshiping the crap that was RETURN OF THE KING. The ending is the worst editing I have ever seen, and Ive seen nearly every movie since I was born. " Even if you were two years old would I believe that you've seen "nearly every movie." That's just too funny. /// 2. "QT is boring and so overrated.I havent seen Kill Bill 1 or 2 and I wont. I was dooped 3 times before and I refuse to see anymore Tarantino movies, and when I get to Hollywood I refuse to work with the man either" I'm sure "QT" is going to have some sleepless nights ahead of him, worrying about why you won't return his calls. /// "You cannot sit there and tell me that crap like Hellboy and Hulk were even romotly close to being [as good as 'The Punisher']." Romotly? Oh, that's good. "Hellboy" is nothing special, but it's head and shoulders better than "Punisher." I don't want to get started on "Hulk." Nearly everyone missed the boat on that one.
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So you saying the hulk WAS good? Cuz I think that damn movie was fucken brilliant!!!!
and I hated Lord of the rings too, fuck everyone else. but I DID like the ending I just thought the whole fucken movie was ridiculously long and severely over rated. -
...No, I am firmly behind Ang Lee's "Hulk." And not in a gay way.
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Apr 19, 2004 2:00:02 AM CDT
Re: Audets70 "When you get to hollywood you refuse to work with
by jon e cin
That is the FUNNIEST thing ever! First off you'll never make it here and second you'll be lucky to be an non-paid internship for E online! You naive ass! Stay in your shitty film school and pretend to be the shit you believe you are!
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The Punisher was very good. A whole lot better than I could have ever expected,based on my first impressions from the trailer. Harry went in BELIEVING that this was going to be one of the greatest revenge flicks of all time and it wasn't. It is not. But Harry's treating this as if he thought that a single can of Slim-Fast would make him drop pounds the size of that egg he's squatting out up top, only to find out that that's a chicken lie. At least the "single can" part of the lie anyway. Slim-Fast WILL help you lose weight, but it is NOT a miracle and neither should one expect that of The Punisher.
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The Punisher was very good. A whole lot better than I could have ever expected,based on my first impressions from the trailer. Harry went in BELIEVING that this was going to be one of the greatest revenge flicks of all time and it wasn't. It is not. But Harry's treating this as if he thought that a single can of Slim-Fast would make him drop pounds the size of that egg he's squatting out up top, only to find out that that's a chickenshit lie. At least the "single can" part of the lie anyway. Slim-Fast WILL help you lose weight, but it is NOT a miracle and neither should one expect that of The Punisher.
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The Punisher was awesome.. By far the most true to the comics movie out there, only behind spiderman.. The problem with morons saying it had nothing to do with the comics is that they DONT READ THE COMICS!! So they woudlnt know.. I've been reading Punisher most of my life and it was all there, the violence, the gritty enviroment, Mr Bumpo, Dave, Joan the mouse.. The only way to be MORE like the comics would be to but Garth Ennis right there playing Soap.. The movie was freacking great.. SOOOOO tired of Tarantino crazy people licking the floor he walks on, Vol1 wasnt that grat, Vol2 didnt care for it either.. Tarantino was a 90's craze and it was over a long time ago..
Punisher was a great flick, the fight with the russian was awesome, the characters were well written, very faithfull to the books..
Make up your own mind on this and remember, the Punisher cost 30mil to make and already made more then half.. AND opened in LOT less screens then Kill Bill vol2..
Looking forward to #2 -
10- Batman Returns- One of the weirdest comic book movies of all time! What the fuck was up with the Penguin? He was just gross. This movie was more of the same as the first Batman (1988), just not as good. DeVito tried to channel Nicholson, and fell very short. But Pfeiffer was born to play Catwoman. Who would have thought that Pfeiffer had enough goods and curves to fill out that Catsuit? Oh, and Batman actually got to kill one of the henchmen in this movie! KA-POW!!! Too bad that the bat-franchise went into the shitter with the mediocre (at best) Batman Forever, and the worse comic book movie of all time: BATMAN AND ROBIN!
9- Batman/Superman Movie (animated)- With such a generic ass title, you would think that this would be a crapfest. Fortunately for us comic book geeks, this animated movie captured the feel of the essence of Superman and Batman, both as crimefighters and as civilians. The verbal exchanges between Bats and Supe are classic. The part when they discovered each other -
"nine hundred pound gorilla I ***CLEARLY**** stated that I wasn't judging that movie from MORE than 3 fucking seconds of of the movie, which you were wrong on, but the ENTIRE piece of shit thing".
-- OK Here's what you said:---
"Jesus, man you just as worse as them black people..... (Unrelated)and proclaim it the greatest thing ever seen. Just because Harry, who IS a bitch, dissed this movie doesn't mean he was wrong. I saw.... (Unrelated)... But, what the fuck I "SHOULD" have fuckin' done, was start my whole post off with, HE COPIED OFF THE FUCKIN' CROW!!!! Need I fuckin' SAY anymore? I mean come on. That was unique, as a comic book hero, super-hero, or anti-hero movie, to THAT movie. That death by comic character or title character flaming fire burning logo was unique to The "CROW". And then two movies since rip it the fuck off. And they had a nerve to proclaim Alex Proyas of ripping off Tim Burton at the time. LOL"
--- Seems like you are indeed ***CLEARLY***** commenting on the whole Punisher movie...NOT... you are ONLY worried about the Crow rip off aspect that whole post- and I didnt see another post of yours anywhere near it that you could have been referring to instead...
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"I have seen better fuckin' movies that were made for cable, and I don't mean HBO. I'm talkin' TBS and TNT, USA Network and bullshit like that".
--- Such AS???
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"How goddamn blind can you be to see, or NOT see rather, that that movie sucked"?
--- Apparently about 1/5th as blind as you who appear to think that shit-festival called "The Crow" was better.
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"just like I saw A Man Apart 2, I mean Crow without make-up, I mean Punisher"
----***NEWS FLASH genius*** The Punisher is based on a comic book character a LOT older than "The Crow" movie. In fact, (correct me of I am wrong , I am no "Crow afficianado") Wasn't "The Crow" invented in the late 80's/early 90's? If so, You BETTER start Calling "The Crow" A PUNISHER RIP OFF- That comic began in the 70's- so yeah what a piece of derivative TRASH the Crow was, BLANTANTLY ripping off the Punisher (Or should I call "The Crow"- The Punisher turned gay and wearing lots of gothic make-up) . And ya know what, if you think EITHER of these movies "Started" the "Revenge Genre" of films, you need to put down the bong- Tell ya what do yerself a favor and don't EVER call "A Man Apart" Punisher", et all "THE CROW (rip offs)" Again- it just makes you look igorant. Thee Crow started 2 things in the "Revenge Genre" of films: JACK and SHIT ...And Jack never showed up.
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"And no fuckin' way in HELL I was givin' money to the people that made Punisher. Unlike you I don't kiss ass of people who don't deserve it just to make it in life".
--- Unlike me? DO you mean you KNOW me? oh yeah, you don't know any more about me than you do about good movies...OBVIOUSLY... And just for the record, I don't blame you for getting 4 movies for the price of 1. If thats all your allowance will get you, then by all means make the most of it.
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"I smell bullshit movies on contact, and don't HAVE to see them to know that they were bullshit.... I Was OPEN-MINDED just by fucking CHOOSING to SEE the movie, not by AVOIDING it".
- THAT is open minded? Knowing a movie si shit before you see it? No wait, it's WATCHING a movie you know is shit, yet refusing to pay-LOL sounds more like you have a lame social life than any "open mindedness" to me. You OBVIOUSLY have nothing worthwhile to do if you watch 3 movies you "know" will suck immediately after a "medoiocre" one before it.
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"And your treasured movie ain't even make more than 17 million so fuck off".
--- YUP Made over 1/2 what it cost to make in 1 week, not bad...GUARENTEES it a profit.
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"And YES, if that movie DID make a ton of money YOU'D be pointing it out so don't you DARE criticize me for using money as a barometer of the film's worth".
---Wow you can read my mind too. LOL By your "barometer, you MUST be a HUGE Titanic and Phantom Menace fan- but hey I guess you just think Dicaprio and Jar Jar are "cute"
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"Heh, wanna have it both ways and shit".
- you make me laugh
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...and his name is Smartjobber!
Yikes! -
Hey, everyone, if you want a good laugh, start an e-mail exchange with audets70. You think his crazy-ass posts are funny, wait till you read one of his e-mails! He's written me a couple which are classic. He claims he's seen a 100,000 movies, his spelling is so goddamn bad, it's fucking hilarious! He talked all kinds of trash about Tarantino and Lord of the Rings, even though I never even mentioned Lord Of the Rings. That's what I love about this site, it gives psychos like Audet70 a place to express himself. Fucking great. My hat is off to you Audets70, ya fucking nutter!
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Just saw the film yesterday and it wasn't NEARLY as bad as advertised. Methinks Harry and co. were being a bit underhanded there.
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...and I thought it was weirdly amazing. I've gotta apologize to Harry & the AICN crew for thinking bad stuff about you guys' reviews. I can totally understand someone hating this movie. There is so much to it that is just...wrong. But when it was over, I just had this yummy warm feeling inside. I can't describe it, but it was almost like after that first time seeing The Matrix. I left the theater wanting to shoot and stab bad guys. I guess it's the fact that the bad guys really got punished, and the movie didn't wuss out like it so easily could have. It definitely dances around the intersection of camp, action and drama. Apparently a lot of reviewers couldn't follow it, but this movie had me almost every step of the way. The worst part is the beginning of the movie where there is this horrendous melodramatic score that is played almost nonstop for the first half hour. After the family massacre, however, the music eases up and the punishment begins. If there is anyone reading this that can appreciate a goofy/tragic, ultra-violent/funny, cheesy/serious revenge fantasy that hasn't seen this yet, go see it now! It has to be seen to be believed.
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...he'd call this the greatest film since... Godzilla.
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I am a BIG punisher fan and have no idea what harry is talking about....the movie rocked, especially for a dinky hollywood 33 mill. and hew didn't look at him weird for kissing the guy, if he was shocked, it was MAYBE because he started by smaking the guy...the the gay thing is an important piece later....good movie, go see it.
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Apr 24, 2004 9:12:01 PM CDT
Two Punisher wishes: a reedit for the DVD and a sequel
by gere's assgerbil
I enjoyed The Punisher quite a bit, but I understand that in no way is it a "good" movie. The sad thing is that it really has the potential to be so much better. Hensleigh might make some great action sequences, but if he's the one responsible for the scoring I hope he never gets behind the camera again. If they were going for that 70s/80s cheesy feel they failed. And, like Daredevil, I felt that several key plot elements got left on the cutting room floor. The whole scene with the reporters felt sort of stranded, like there should have been more to it. But it has to say something about a movie when you can see so many faults but still have a really good time watching it. Travolta's death was probably the greatest, funniest thing I have seen in a movie since the infamous "Knife-Making" sequence in The Hunted. Jane IS The Punisher. If only they would cut out some of the music and reinsert some of the lost footage for the DVD this movie might find its way onto my shelf. Probably won't happen but I would love to see a sequel.
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I was a big time Punisher fan back in the day, I have just about every comic until '94 or so. I quit buying when Micro got killed and Frank snapped. Anyway, I know the character pretty well, and I thought the movie was pretty good, not great but way fucking better than that shit fest Daredevil, which I think Harry gave a pretty good review to. I have a feeling all you guys complaining and saying it wasn't any good didn't read the comics. It had some corny moments, but ....so did the comics. The only legit complaint I had was the music, it wasn't bad, it just didn't fit the movie. It was too "spider-many", it should have been darker. I really haven't listened to any of Harry's fat-ass reviews for years now because of shit like this Punisher review and I can't understand why the hell anyone would. The guy is an idiot who is lucky enough to have a forum where he can express himself, and instead of giving honest reviews he time and time again has givien blowjobs to any director who'll have him out to the set or to a premier. The list of movies he's given glowing reviews to is hilarious, Daredevil, Godzilla, Armagedeon, Blade2, Episodes1&2, etc, do any of you guys really think those are good moives? It really is funny that he gave the Punisher, which opened on the same day as his master's Kill Bill2, such a horrible review. I guess Travolta should have stuffed Harry's fat ass into his plane, flew him out to the set, let him touch the Punisher skull t-shirt and given him some punisher action figures so Harry would wax on about how when he was a kid he used to spend hours after he got home from school eating eskimo pies and reading Punisher comics. Harry ya fat bastard, you ever hear of a thing called ethics? Shame on you.
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I don't get it. This movie didn't suck, it just wasn't great. There are many worse movies out there.
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Apr 28, 2004 9:39:42 AM CDT
Pay no attention to THAT IDIOT ABOVE who posted above me ... UR
by aseddon130uk
IDIOT - after reading that review (i have already watched it) i had to agree with everythin this dcde was saying, as some1 on Yahoo Movie says:
'The slogan says, The punishment begins APril 16th - And boy, does it. About 1 hour, 59 minutes worth of punishment'
I was actually looking forward to the credits - John Travolta was totally unused, Thomas Jane wasn't arsed about his Dead Family (i mean u'd be arsed if EVERY SINGLE PERSON in ur family had just been murdered)and everyone else were OK but, as he says, The script itself was just Bad. -
I honestly do think that the Dolph Lundgren one was better - and was as faithful to the Comic Book as u are to urselves - Honestly, how can u all believe that this was a halfway-decent film. DUMBASSES!!!!!
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This is the first time I have gone to a movie expecting it to be bad and to have the filmmakers lower the bar. To say more about how bad this movie was would be difficult. How many times could lightning flash? And whatever happended to the two Cuban guys Saint was laundering money for? Not to mention the huge build up for Harry Heck as one of the deadliest killers, who Punisher dispatches in two seconds. Or was that a scene to demonstrate how skilled Big Pun is?
To the musical composer: Sometimes not having music is just as important as having it. There were scenes that had genuine emotion that took a wrong turn because of the music. This mistake is made so many times in movies and ruins somethung that would have been good. (i.e. This is a scary surprise, so let's play scary music before anything happens to warn people something bad is about to happen)
The only possible goodness in this film was what it will do for the pierced kid's career, he was the one good performance in the movie.
The only other benefit was watching Laura Harring's (who I actually think is a good actress) chest bounce for half the movie.
The script was soooo bad. This movie had all the elements it needed. Great actors. Great character. There were a couple of times that had great scenes and thought the movie was going to turn around, but was just disappointed. I was literally laughing out loud by the end of the movie. Fortunately the other 5 people in the theatre weren't bothered by my chuckles at the flame skull at the end.
Ari Arad. What are you doing to Marvel Comics? Are you exercising any quality control on these properties? It has been sporadic at best.
The only hope this movie gave me is that if Hollywood is willing to make a movie this bad, I can quit trying to sumbit geat scripts and win them over with mediocre. -
It's a very good chest, and if they gave out an academy award for best chest of the year, I think it would win pectorals down. Jane shows off his chest, he gets shot in the chest, he get's stabbed in the chest and her wears a big dripping white skull on his chest.
It's refeshing to see a movie about a man's chest for a change.
Unfortunately, this movie often strays above the chest, and that's where it gets into trouble.
Garth, the only good parts of this film are the ones that hack ripped off from you. -
May 05, 2004 9:15:26 AM CDT
NEVER FORGET THAT HARRY THINKS 'DAREDEVIL' IS THE BEST MARVEL MO
by baghutch
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This Movie was fucking horrible, I dont even know what the fuck it was, It was just a hole bunch of crap that happend all jammed in mOVIE. This made Daredevil look good. Seriously, what is wrong with you people. If you exsuse me, I will now throw up. I exspected you guys to write sumthing negative. But I was wrong. Movie sucked balls, and alot of people like it. But I guess thats how this world works these days.
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I think you all are being a wee bit too harsh on this movie. If you read Punisher comics, like especially the "Welcome Back Frank" graphic novel, you will find that this movie is very much in the spirit of its origins. And Tom Jane IS the Punisher! I couldn't imagine anyone else in this role. And the way that Howard Saint meets his demise is pretty memorable. Overall, I'd give this one 3 out of 4 stars. It's definitely not as good as Spiderman 2, but I'd have to say it sure beats Daredevil.
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Thank you, Punisher!
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