You say “Sopranos” doesn’t boast enough whackings for your taste? Children, you only need to stop watching those beautiful naked lesbians having sex with each other over on Showtime and stick with HBO after Tony and crew have moved on!

Oh, and you’ll have to miss (or tape or tivo) ABC’s brand new “Alias,” which has moved to 10 p.m. this week to make room for that really, really promising Nick & Jessica variety hour that airs opposite “Sopranos.”

Here’s “Dr. Bombay” with this week’s exciting “Deadwood” details:

Deadwood 1.4 FAQ

What's it called?

“There Was A Man”

Who's the man?

I don't know for sure but I think the title may refer to Wild Bill Hickok, and to a 1992 poem by Mac Hammond called “Once Upon a Time There was a Man.” The first few lines read: Once upon a time there was, there was a man/Who lived inside me wearing this cold armour/The kind of knight whom the ladies could be proud/and send with favours through unlikely forests/To fight infidels and other knights and ordinary dragons...

What's that got to do with Wild Bill?

The central plotline this week involves Alma asking Bill to investigate the circumstances of her husband's tragic “fall” last week. She knows Swearengen was involved and needs the help of an honorable, capable man (a knight, if you will). Bill agrees to help her. But it's the poem's sort of past-tense, lamenting tone that also suggests Bill to me.

What do you mean, Bombay? You're not saying...

Well, I'm not. Think about what we know of Deadwood history (and what you've read in this space) and draw your own conclusions. I will say that this episode, especially the final sequence, is a must-see.

Why?

Beyond the big finale, it's a wonderful episode in terms of character and dialogue. Watching the refined Alma and the hard-scrabble Calamity Jane bond and become friends is a lesson in grace. The episode features a number of such graceful moments, in fact, sometimes between characters with whom you'd never associate the word. But that's the nature of great characterization. No human being is all good or all bad.

Dr. Bombay’s rating for “Deadwood” 1.4?

****

The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:
***** better than we deserve
**** better than most motion pictures
*** actually worth your valuable time
** as horrible as most stuff on TV
* makes you quietly pray for bulletins

I remain, Dr. Bombay

9 p.m. Sunday. HBO

I am – Hercules!!

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