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Win A Big Damn Gun Contest!!!

Hey folks, Harry here... with a brand-spanking new contest for you good folks to win!!! This time... it's a massive fucking gun you're trying to win!!! One that kills gigantic Lovecraftian beasties!!! That's right, The Samaritan! Well... actually it is a prop replica coming from the good folks at Sideshow Collectibles!!!

Now as usual - Sideshow hasn't a clue what I'm gonna do for a contest - and most likely - they're terrified waiting to see what I cook up. I thought about asking y'all to take a picture of yourself firing the biggest gun you have at a picture of the person you most hate - but then figured... well - we might get in trouble. Then I thought - having you take a picture of yourself in demon makeup buying a ticket to THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST... but then figured... well, God would hate me. Then... well, then I had a goofy fucking idea. I love goofy ideas, so I've decided to go with it.

To win your own prop replica of Hellboy's Samaritan, all you have to do is sculpt a replica of HELLBOY's face out of Macaroni noodles covered in steamy tomato paste. The best photo of this art project will walk away with a prize valued at $299.00 (not counting shipping!) It will be the biggest meanest fucking gun anyone will ever own. You can scare convenience store clerks out of daily receipts until the time of your incarceration with this sucker... Think about the look on that burgular's face when they break in and you whip out your Samaritan... They'll shit green wormy apples for weeks fleeing your domicile.

Now - Sideshow has been good enough to donate a 2nd and 3rd place prize for the runner-ups. SO... If you're good - but not the best... you can win a 12 inch HELLBOY or a 12 inch ABE SAPIEN.

Ok - so what's the time frame on this?

Between now and April 21st - midnite - you must send a jpg of your macaroni & glue... steaming tomato paste caked sculpture of Mike Mignola's Glorious HELLBOY to SideShowToys@AintItCoolMail.Com! Have fun playing in your food!

Readers Talkback
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  • March 30, 2004, 2:49 a.m. CST

    I KNEW IT.

    by AndrewWanKenobi

    The second I saw the words "Big Damn Gun" in the link title, I thought of HELLBOY! What a sweet prize.

  • March 30, 2004, 3:08 a.m. CST

    Blatant promotion for your buddy Guillermo's movie...I say keep

    by Hung-Wei Lo

    And no, I'm not going to rag on you for it. Use your channels to keep your friends in the biz, I say! Shit, if I had a buddy who was famous, I'd give him free promotions on my website too. Now as for the big fucking gun, I really don't care about the contest, or Hellboy for that matter. But let me just say, if I were to enter, you'd all bow to my sculpting skills, and I'd win it hands-down. But then again, I try not to dwell too long in the world of geeks, so I'll pass. Good luck to all the people entering! May you never get laid. (Disclaimer -- This is my vain attempt at pretending that I, myself, have a life)

  • March 30, 2004, 3:11 a.m. CST


    by eternal76

    You mean, I have to work at it? and what's the rules? is it just macaroni? or can there be a wireframe construct?

  • March 30, 2004, 3:16 a.m. CST


    by Sith Witch

  • March 30, 2004, 5:29 a.m. CST

    Definately bangable..

    by Jon E Cin

    but then who isnt these days...sigh... Why does every constest harry put out have to do with mood..either marshmellows.. macaroni...or live stock.

  • March 30, 2004, 5:29 a.m. CST

    Shit...i not mood..

    by Jon E Cin

    I'm a dumbass

  • March 30, 2004, 5:57 a.m. CST

    aw man, just have a damn raffle

    by microwavable?

    i don't blame you for holding these crazy rules for the contests - i just blame my total lack of artistic sculpture ability, which is what these damn contests usually involve. we need some freakin physical challenges around here! 10 mile race anybody? rats.

  • March 30, 2004, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Man that is sexy

    by 007-11

    The girl is nice too.

  • March 30, 2004, 9:15 a.m. CST


    by captain omega

    That thing looks like it was based on a British Webley. The contour of the hammer and the break open top suggest this. Would look nice next to Deckard's heater, up on the wall. Have a better one.

  • March 30, 2004, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Dumb Contest

    by Jotham

    How about th

  • March 30, 2004, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Webley? Fuck that brit shit!

    by where_are_quints_hobbit_set_reports

    It's a Wildey Mag, if anything! Death Wish III Rules!

  • March 30, 2004, 12:31 p.m. CST

    redcabbage is a ball licker,

    by rebel299

    because he does in fact, lick balls. even though i myself have numerous guns i can tolerate your anti-gun stance. however you just don't fuck with someone from texas by calling them all pussies. i'm sure if harry were a bit more agile he'd help me in kicking your ass. ATX represent!

  • March 30, 2004, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Yup, it's a beefed-up Webley alright.

    by fitzcarraldo2

    See here -

  • March 30, 2004, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Hows' the weather in everyone's area?

    by Tal111

    We're having sunny warm days here.I'm going to sleep but please if there is going to be anything to promote like say-Hellboy, let me know. Wake me, go ahead.

  • March 30, 2004, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Re: Webley? Looks a lot like an old colt calvary pistol

    by Yossarian I'm not a gun freak, but I like history. Isn't the Webley an automatic?

  • March 30, 2004, 6:06 p.m. CST

    I stand corrected. Here's the Webley mentioned previously.

    by Yossarian

    Definately a lot of resemblence. Especially the alignment of the handle to the barrel.

  • Hey, maybe if you have some Star Trek goodies, you can have a "Send me a photo of you hooking up with hot girls" contest? It would be just as stupid. Who do you think will wind up with the movie prop gun? A fucking prop sculptor from some movie studio, no doubt. Call me crazy, but I think rewarding folks for good talkback content or knowledge of movie trivia or something equally related to this site would make far more sense than sculpting with food.

  • March 30, 2004, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Hand of Doom fans should know you can get a toy version (like Hu

    by Declan_Swartz

  • March 30, 2004, 10:21 p.m. CST

    harry will eat the winner, and runner up...

    by mr_show

    and 3rd and 4th and 5th. etc etc

  • March 30, 2004, 10:56 p.m. CST

    I thought this was about "Doom" or something...

    by beamish13

    fuck this

  • March 30, 2004, 11:01 p.m. CST

    Webley, ad nauseam

    by captain omega

    I think it's just a double-action revolver. One shot per trigger pull. They show up in "ZULU" and "ZULU DAWN", in the hands of the British officers. WWI flix have them too. Not a gun nut, just a fan of movies that base their props on real fire arms. Star Wars used to do it, eg.; Han's Broomhandle Mauser; Storm Trooper Sterling SMG's and the German MG Chewie pulls from the rack in the Death Star control room, etc. Remember when Lando fires from the ramp of the Falcon; you can see a spent blank cartridge eject. I think they still did it with TPM's Naboo security guys. Some kind of competition target pellet pistols or .22 cal or something.

  • March 30, 2004, 11:09 p.m. CST

    Saw It Tonight-MUST Have Gun!


    Never worked in macaroni, but I'm game. Oh yeah-loved the movie.

  • March 31, 2004, 12:09 a.m. CST

    Wake up

    by Peter Wiggin

    Harry listed a whole bunch of other ideas he was thinking about. Can't you ding-bats tell that what he wants to see are crazy fanatics who are willing to do anything for expensive stuff? I mean, honestly, what kind of a person does it take to sculpt a face for a $300 prop? Wake up and smell the butt-cracks, the contest is for the mentally ill, of course, that probably adheres to 3/4 of the people who read the articles on the site, myself included. GEEKS!!!

  • March 31, 2004, 1:40 a.m. CST

    How could you NOT love the fucken movie

    by Rcamacho2278

    im telling you man, most of the negative assholes on these talkbackers are just tne kinda anal assholes you just wanna fuck up

  • March 31, 2004, 11:18 a.m. CST

    HB score samples online

    by frank da tank

    The composer on Hellboy posted some samples of the score at Sounds cool. Can't wait to see it.

  • March 31, 2004, 1:24 p.m. CST

    This contest rules

    by BiccusDiccus

    Brilliant. The leap of logic that takes us from demonic anti-hero to paste'n'pasta is truly a work of genius. Now, since I'm an internationally renowned (and disgustingly rich) sculpter, I should have no trouble taking one of the three prizes. Oh wait... thats just in my head. Mine will proabably look like a satanic idol carved by kindergardeners. Truth be told, I was already going to build a bust of Hellboy from pasta and tomato paste, but now that I know I can win a prize for doing it, I'm going to concentrate more on presentation than flavour. Cheers!

  • March 31, 2004, 1:27 p.m. CST


    by Edom Graves

    Are we only to use "Macarroni" noddles or can we use any thy of pasta to sclupt with? Also, is the final product only to be coated in a single shade of tomato paste? And lastly, do you want a pre-paste photo to prove we used pasta? (I'm aware it these are stupid questions, but I think all who plan on doing this need to know!)

  • April 3, 2004, 7:25 a.m. CST

    Just give me that gun

    by CuervoJones

  • April 3, 2004, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Hellboy was awesome

    by SexyBeast

    This is a definite must see.

  • April 4, 2004, 6:28 a.m. CST

    this movie had more holes in the plot than a piece of cheese

    by cornstalkwalker

    the only redeeming thing about hellboy was ron pearlman. his performance was excellent. too bad he can never get a good role because he doesn't have a ideal look.

  • April 4, 2004, 11:48 a.m. CST

    take no notice - personal shit

    by Wideboy

    Toby Foster 20/03/04 World Cinemas: Research Report For this report I have based my research around contemporary Mexican Cinema, and in particular among a selection of its films Amores Perros (2000, Inarritu), and Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001, Cuaron). I feel the first essential thing to define in relation to the notion that comes with World Cinema, is that of having a certain quality, one that 'permits' and defines its international reception. In the case of Hollywood, its films certain quality is in their expensive and mass-appealing nature that dominate in international markets. But in more culturally defined countries, such as Mexico or France (France exclusive from World Cinema), where for example, to be blunt there is not a capitalist mentality reflected in its film market, it is understood that the films are more artistically and culturally expressive. From my research, it would seem that in this sense New Mexican Cinema as with all World Cinema, certainly comes with a sort of 'Arthouse' tag in the UK. The website Kamera for example, consisting of critics who fundamentally appreciate this 'category' of cinema, acknowledges in its review of Amores Perros, the category of reception it naturally falls into: "there is a glimmer of hope that Amores Perros might branch out from the art house cinemas, getting the general release it thoroughly deserves" (Hayden-Smith: 01) Then in Sight and Sound magazine for example, its article on Amores Perros, 'Pup Fiction' describes and embelishes upon the theoretical, thematical attributes and such that are expressed in the film: "a painstaking exploration of the hold domestic spaces have over us - shot through with a line of dark absurdist humour that brings to mind Bunuel's treatise on bougeois entrapment, The Exterminating Angel" (Bernado: 01) In the critical construction of Sight and Sounds review of the same film, the consideration of cinematography or style; can be seen, where it describes the following: "The films washed out colour scheme, its use of real locations and its handheld camerawork achieve a spontaneity that obscures the care and skill behind mise-en-scene" (Arroyo: 40)) This is also the case with Kamera's review: "shot on a blackened, otherworldly landscape that recalls Pasolini's Theorem, the film's visual style is as arresting as its jigsaw narrative." (Hayden-Smith: 01) This artistic consideration in not unique to Amores Perros. Elsewhere in Sight and Sound, in an article on the Mexican film Japon (Reygadas, C, 2003) entitled 'A good place to die', Demetrious Matheou concerns him self with the comparison between the directors work and Tarkovskies,and describes how "visually, Reygadas alternates between static, classically framed shots" (Matheou: 10) and " other that astutely employ a mobile camera" (Matheou: 10). I have focused on these particular sources because they best define the extent to which the notion of 'Arthouse' or 'Artistic' impacts upon their critical response. It is now important then to point out the different 'layers' of critical reception and construction that operate in respect of this reception. (Artisitc, entertainment, marketing). Sight and Sound is of course a film magazine for the more 'academically' minded who regardless of the tag that comes with a film appreciate the artistic ideal to cinema. Writers for and paper 'The Guardian' also to an extent share this appreciation. But the critical reception and construction on the wider scale also belongs to the far more entertainment, media based sources (such as television guide reviews, or on-line film entertainment guides) One example is the website IO Film Review UK, where 'The Wolf' sets out in his review of Y Tu Mama Tambien that "Two randy teenagers and a sophisticated older woman sounds like orgasmic delight at the box office" ('The Wolf': 01). Despite the specific function of informing and appealing to popular culture in mind, with such sources, here it seems that this inescapable 'arthouse' tag is acknowledged in the reviewers reception. But the actual construction, or rather say the interpretation of the film in this respect, varies at a low level. Jim Kershaw, a writer for the BBCi film website in his review of Amores Perros recognises and finds credit in "colourful characterisation" (Kershaw: 01) and "natural performances" (Kershaw: 01) at play, but where Sight and Sound acknowledges a thematic and constructive link between the separate narrative strands, here he states; "Sometimes there is a clear reason for dividing a film into distinctive chapters, each following the distinctive but overlapping stories of unrelated people. Here it feels like the structure was used because no one storyline was long enough to stand on its own" (Kershaw: 01)) Here he is acknowlodging that a films narrative can exist outside of a certain popular convention, but in his construction of the film finds this arguably difficult. This could simply be down to his strong artistic opinion rather than a certain rejection to the films qualities, but it hardly seems so when he infers that a film must "justify its two-and-a-half-hour running time" (Kershaw: 01). And in the end, he concludes his critical formulation with an audience-friendly reminder that "the faint-hearted might find it a little gory" (Kershaw: 01). The unnamed writer for the film section of the website concludes his review of Amores Perros as such: "I don't need life sugar-coated, however I would have welcomed some contrast. I appreciate that love can be a bitch, but when she takes a piss, I'm not sure I need to be the lamppost." (Unknown: 01) It is almost as if the viewer is acknowledging a particular power to the film; yet in the end it matters to them more that the film is hopeful in contrast (based on their opinion), and that it to some extent comforts or entertains the viewer in this respect. Going back to 'The Wolfs' review of Y Tu Mama Tambien, he informs how "after a dallience in Hollywood" "director Alfonso Cuaron returns home for a little hand-held realism", but then only discusses technical devices again when dictating how the film "uses narrative voice-over to interrupt proceedings and give trivial bits of information" which "soon gets irritating" ('The Wolf': 01). This particular case, compared upon the difference in impact upon to more artistic minded sources, brings up the issues surrounding culture and its pre-conceived notions in films. So far I have used contemporary Mexican films as an example for World Cinema in general. The real advantage of focusing on a specific segment of World Cinema though, is how it allows one to see the way in which a countries specific culture, with its own sets of ethics and issues, impacts upon the UK. Often what defines films such as Mexico's under the category of World Cinema, is the more extreme states of their country, for which they are often 'an allegory for the politics and culture for the country in which they are made' More than often in the case of contemporary Mexican films and UK critics, this specific identification is of Mexican culture of course, and the political-economic issues surrounding the country. Marketing for the films is particularly reflective of this. The UK trailer for Amores Perros could have been given various scores or soundtrack, but uses one that displays Mexican language. True to the sexual and comedic content of the film but also shaping it in the viewers mind through the association with its country, the UK trailer for Y Tu Mama Tambien contains cartoon images of 'cacti-penises'. Both its UK poster and DVD cover contains in its colour scheme those of the Mexican flag; and as with Amores Perros, its image is saturated to communicate the sun baked atmosphere one might associate with the country. They also both in addition to the this saturation, appeal to or through the label of Arthouse in their covers graphic design, both of which display film festival awards. Japon in comparison, which is titled (Japan) so as not to be necessarily conceived of in light of its filmmakers country, or for that matter, to be conceived of in any sense of the title. In this respect the poster, in predicting and shaping its films reception and diffusion into the UK, through the sedative and almost 'minimalist' design communicates an artistic form of cinema, but does not in anyway attempt to point out that it is a Mexican film This cultural notion can also be seen as typically receptive in reviews and articles again with both Amores Perros and Y Tu Mama Tambien, and constructive where the critics are concerned with its relevance. IOFilm's review of Y Tu Mama Tambien makes reference in part to Mexico's culture in jokingly saying "no way, jose!" 'The Wolf': 01) at the beginning, applying this context for an objectively entertaining purpose. This is where the impact ends though. One Guardian reviews states that the film is "an exhilirating adventure" "in social commentary" (Bradshaw: 01). Another observes that "the film uses a device that places what were seeing in a larger context", whereby "a male narrator feeds us information, often sardonically expressed, about the backgrounds of the people involved and comments on the dubious state of democracy in Mexico" (French: 01). This is same device already discussed in the IO Films' review where it was seen as pointless. The reviewer did not make the essential association, and so in this sense, on a particular level of critique World Cinema can often impact in this way, where its films filter or diffuse in their meaning when placed outside of their cultural context. The alternative as with The Guardian newspaper is more positive. Kamera's review of Amores Perros simply places the films culture in context of the films subject matter in its introduction; "The three stories, which cut across the socio-economic spectrum of Mexico City's indigenous population, are linked by one single incident" (Hayden-Smith: 01) It later in the review then discusses part of the films quality in relation to this: "he (Inarritu) never offers Mexico up as the 'other', a murky world of undesirables, whose only function appears to be making the lives of the politicians and citizens of its wealthier neighbour, hell" (Hayden-Smith: 01) The notion in the receptors eyes of the films being cultural and political allegories on this level of critical response has a huge impact in their construction. Again, Sight and Sounds coverage of Amores Perros exemplifies this. Firstly both the reviewer and the interviewer for the article 'Pup Fiction' are Mexican (I assume by their names and so logistically), showing the magazine has taken into account the specific cultural understanding and interpretation that is of importance. In addition to this, the interviewer poses more than one question or statement to Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu about how his film relates to the state of Mexico: " Most film-makers living in Mexico City turn a blind eye to its problems or treat them superficially" (Perez-Solair: 30) In this case the matters of culture and "allegory for politics and culture of the country in which they are made" I feel is key in the identification of how World Cinema 'diffuses' in meaning from its native land to the UK.

  • April 5, 2004, 1:06 a.m. CST


    by IFartOnYourGrave

    The gun's no longer on the Sideshow site...

  • April 6, 2004, 2:38 a.m. CST

    Hellboy was....ok.

    by MisterBlonde

    Sorry...I overhyped it. I would have gladly rented it. But I wish I'd saved my $7.50...I'm in college...I coulda bought food...twice. A definite renter...every bad-ass part was shown in the previews.

  • April 6, 2004, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Didn't work for me...

    by PurityOfEssence

    I found it to be really... flat. I had heard all the hype but ignored it and went in without knowing much about the film (I had some knoweledge of the comic). No offense to anyone but I don't see what the all the hype was about. Pearlmen (I don't remember how to spell his last name for sure) was solid. As were the FX (considering the budget), good production values but I was not compelled by the villians.

  • April 8, 2004, 1:47 a.m. CST

    hellboy for fans?

    by faceless

    first timer here, whoever says that hellboy is a movie for fans of hellboy is a complete moron. I'm sorry but I've been reading that shit since day frickin one (though i'm sure i'm not alone on that) since i was like 15 (i'm 24 now)...,and while the movie def. did not was NOT a movie for the fans, i can talk, lick my nuts, sorry to be rude but that seems to be the norm on this talkback shit....but hey, people who are pissed usually means they're just passionate (no pun intended) folks who have never read Hellboy, and liked the movie, do yourself a favor and pick up the comic. I garuntee you'll find potential left untapped....and yes i still got my Wizard subscription goin so **** off! ;}

  • April 8, 2004, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Hellboy was even worse than Spiderman.

    by SalvatoreGravano

    I was hoping for a good film a la Daredevil or Hulk, but I saw an infinitely more ridiculous version of X-Men and Blade. Good thing I was expecting it to be bad, so I just downloaded it to see it instead of paying for a ticket, har har.

  • April 12, 2004, 10:27 a.m. CST


    by zombiejesus666

  • April 17, 2004, 10:38 p.m. CST

    Hellboy was lame...

    by Jon E Cin

    So dissapointed.

  • April 21, 2004, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Contest deadline?

    by antmanx68

    Hey, today is the deadline.... is it over TONIGHT at when 11:59 turns into 12:00 tommorow, or was it over at midnight like the very first technical second of today?

  • WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I wanted one of those so bad. Even $299.00 wouldn't have stopped me. would have paid $500 for that baby. Shit. Shitshitshit. Hmmm, I wonder if it's on eBay yet?

  • April 22, 2004, 2:14 p.m. CST


    by frenzy1971

    Wehn will we know the results of the contest? I wanted the gun bad enough that I did it. I made noodleboy. It looked AWESOME, then I poured the hot tomato sauce on it. It morphed and began looking like the kid in the movie AI when he ate the spinach...well cross that with sloth from the Goonies...and look at it with drinking glasses over your eyes...and on acid...yeah that's what it looked like.

  • April 22, 2004, 7:10 p.m. CST

    Yeah I did it too.

    by CanadianVampire

    This is the first time I had to do something so RETARDED for a prize. But it'll be worth it if I win something...

  • April 23, 2004, 7:25 p.m. CST

    Twidles Thumbs...

    by Sabowan

    Still waiting on the winners. Wait until you all see mine (hopefully)! I very little artistic ability when it comes to the medium of...macaroni, but I tried to make up for it with enthusiasm.

  • April 23, 2004, 8:41 p.m. CST

    *dies of anticipation*

    by XeroxSinner

    Yeah, I did it too, and everytime an idea didn't work, I said to myself, "Why am I doing this stupid project?" Oh yeah, big fucking gun. ^_^ I think mine turned out ok, and I'd really like to know who won damnit! And maybe see the other creations..

  • April 23, 2004, 9:19 p.m. CST

    How will we know if we won?

    by lilfirecracker

    Sorry, I'm new at this. Will side show send us an e-mail if we've won a prize or will the results be posted here at Ain't it Cool? Thanks

  • April 24, 2004, 5:17 p.m. CST


    by Mr Pixies

    I entered too, can't wait to find out the results. It would be so awesome to get that gun...

  • April 26, 2004, 1:35 p.m. CST


    by frenzy1971

    How about letting us know the status of the contest Harry? Pleeeeeease.

  • April 28, 2004, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Want to see other people's Macaroni Hellboys?

    by lilfirecracker

    I'm up for creating an online gallary of all of our Hellboy pics (as crude as it will be). E'mail me at w/ a low res pic of your pasta hellboy and I will write you back with the link to the web page. Let me know if you'd like to have your name under your pic or if you'd like to go incognito. :)

  • April 29, 2004, 10:10 p.m. CST

    There's a web page up with pics of our Macaroni Hellboys. Wanna

    by lilfirecracker

    It's up and running. And they look damn cool too! If you want to put your Hellboy pic on display e-mail me at and I'll send you a link to the page.

  • April 30, 2004, 7:31 p.m. CST

    Where the fuck are the results for the FREAKS AND GEEKS DVD and

    by CanadianVampire