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The Foywonder Reviews WALKING OUT! Er... WALKING TALL!!
Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
I dunno, man. I think Dwayne Johnson’s got real potential. I just saw THE RUNDOWN on DVD last week, and there’s some really nice action scenes in there, and he’s far more personable than the annoying Sean William Scott. I think remaking WALKING TALL is a goofy idea, though. The positive reviews we’ve been getting have all been wafer-thin and barely articulated, like this one:
Hey Harry,
Wanted to share my insights with you, went to a snneek preview of walking tall over the weekeknd, and all I can say is, if you want a 90 minute distraction from the world,and carry a big stick..well walking tall is your movie, people who are thinking its like the original 3 walking talls are going to be dissapointed...for one..its set in west virgina not georgia. 2 the rock dwayne johnson is no joe don baker or dan severenson...so it was basically what the trailer shows...man come homes from the milatary, his best friend now the evil corrupt big wig of the towns main money maker, a casino...rock goes to the casino...and starts to find all of the corrupt things that are being done in the valley,becomes sherrif, fires all the deputees, and avenges and layeth's the smackdown on all they're candy ass'es..(hey had to put a rock phrase in here)...
So along with that we have the eye candy for the movie,I mean what action movie doesnt have it....in this case it was ashley scott...who reminded me why my eyes have missed watching the now canceled "birds of prey"..
so she plays the love interest,or better said sexual partner to the ,main character. So bottom line its a very basic action movie...that was ok if your looking to get away from life...but isnt that what movies do anyway..walking tall did it for me...
I hope you post my review Harry,and forgive the typoes..
Call me Zathras.....:) Well, anyone who knows Zathras knows he is a strange creature who may not be particularly bright. We’ll forgive him the typos and his enthusiasm. But you see what I mean? It’s like praising the film is just too much work to be bothered. If this is as positive as the reviews get, there’s a problem, like with this guy:
Let me call myself "notsosilentbob". I saw a screening last night of Walking Tall the new film starring The Rock. I came in with low expectations and wasnt expecting much since some of his movies are dreadful( The Scorpion King) and some aren't half bad(The Rundown).
The Rock(lesser known as Dwayne johnson) has grown much as an actor and can act his way out of a plastic bag. The film flows well and he does a great job kicking some ass. The supporting cast is really good though like Johnny Knoxville, who stole the show with his one liners.
One major problem is the running time...1 hour and 20 minutes!!! The beginning's expositions is like 20 minutes and the climax/end is 10 minutes. Sure the action scenes are cool but, i wanted more.
Overall the film was about a 2 1/2 star film out of 4. You should see it with a nice bucket of popcorn(DEFINITELY A POPCORN FILM!)Is that supposed to get me worked up? If these are plants, they’re the most half-hearted plants I’ve ever seen. When I saw that The Foywonder, our resident bad movie maven, had sent in a review, I took that as a good sign. I figured he must have relished the pain. No such luck, though. Instead, I think we’ve finally found the movie that broke The Foywonder’s will to mock. Check this out:
***MINOR SPOILERS***
Saw a sneak preview of WALKING TALL tonight. Personally, I felt like walking out. I’m sure there are going to be some that will tell you that this movie is a fun time waster. A total waste of time would be more accurate. WALKING TALL is one of the sorriest excuses for an action movie I’ve seen in quite some time. THE RUNDOWN proved to me that The Rock does have what it takes to be the next big action star but that isn’t going to happen unless he has a long talk with his agent about signing him up to star in crap like this. I’m amazed the studio did a sneak preview screening for this flick because I’ve seen movies before that weren’t even screened in advance for professional critics that were better than this.
Much has been said about this “remake” of the 70’s Joe Don Baker classic ever since it was announced that The Rock would be starring in it. The original was the true story of Buford Pusser, a man returning to his backwoods town to find it overrun with drugs and corruption, which he then precedes to clean up the hard way. The reason that movie was a big hit then and still has a strong following today, despite being very much a product of it’s time, is because it was a gritty, hard hitting, pull no punches melodrama of redneck justice. You don’t get too many of those nowadays. This new film claims to have been “inspired by a true story” but set in present day around a character not named Buford Pusser. I’d be a lot more willing to accept that if this movie wasn’t such a poorly written bore. I thought remaking DAWN OF THE DEAD was a terrible idea but was surprised by how much I actually enjoyed the remake so I decided to give this new WALKING TALL a shot. I should have known I wouldn’t be so lucky twice in one week.
The main problem is that this WALKING TALL feels like someone wrote a modern day reworking of the original film and then the producers sent the script off to some Hollywood script doctor to punch it up and make it more “marketable”, and by “marketable” I mean they dumbed it down and added a lot of inane attempts at humor. The whole brief sequence of The Rock dealing with the town’s drug problem is just a brief montage that’s clearly played for laughs. All these serious scenes and speeches about cleaning up the town and when he finally gets around to it the whole thing is treated as a joke? Even worse, it’s not funny. In fact, very little of the movie’s humor is actually humorous. It’s just dumb and annoying and dull.
Frankly, the action scenes are nothing special either. There aren’t that many in the movie to begin with and what few there are last very briefly. Most consist of hand-to-hand combat but it is shot so up-close that it’s hard to follow. I’ve seen this done in quite a few movies recently and I don’t know why. Hey directors, don’t be afraid to pull back and actually give us a wide shot every now and then so we can get a good look at what’s going on!
While the original WALKING TALL looks today very much like a movie from the early 70’s, this WALKING TALL looks like a cheap direct-to-video movie you’d find on the new release shelf in Blockbuster right now. I’d compare it to a movie released back in the 80’s by Golan-Globus but some of their movies were actually entertaining. Not this. Even for a mindless action movie this is just crap. If this movie had been made back in the 80’s I doubt many people would be clamoring for a special edition DVD today.
The movie opens to the tune of “Midnight Rider” and I halfway expected “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes to come riding up on a motorcycle wearing a wrestling mask but instead we get introduced to The Rock’s character, Chris Vaughn, an ex-soldier returning to his hometown after being away for a long time. The town isn’t the same one he grew up in. The local mill has been shut down. The drug problem is soaring. The local crooked casino owner/drug dealer controls the town and has the police in his back pocket. Vaughn reunites with his family and his old friend Ray, a grunge rocker burnout turned ex-con recovering drug addict played by Johnny Knoxville. They go play football with some old friends including Hamilton something or other, an old pal who is now the crooked casino owner/drug dealer. After witnessing some drug dealing and exposing a fixed craps game, Vaughn gets into a brawl inside the casino. A little later, Hamilton’s thugs end up brutalizing him and leaving him for dead. Soon after recovering, his nephew nearly dies of an overdose of crystal meth purchased from some of Hamilton’s goons. Immediately, The Rock makes like Hacksaw Jim Duggan and dons his trusty 2x4 to kick some ass and clean up the town.
The brawl that ensues is the best sequence in the whole movie but it’s followed up with a ridiculous courtroom sequence that culminates with The Rock giving this ridiculously vacuous speech to the jury leading to his acquittal for assault and battery charges. It’s the kind of scene and the kind of speech that gets made fun of in other movies and TV shows. Next thing you know he’s the new town sheriff and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………………….
By this point I just didn’t give a damn anymore. Like I said, the movie is just a poorly written mess that can’t decide whether it wants to be a gritty drama or an action comedy and so it ends up failing miserably at both. The Rock really seems shoehorned into the part of this deadpan vigilante lunkhead that just doesn’t fit him and stifles a lot of the natural charisma he showed in THE RUNDOWN. Plus, he’s saddled with Johnny Knoxville as your generic annoying comedic sidekick. Apparently we’re supposed to be amused by Knoxville’s hyena-like cackling and David Arquette-style camera mugging. I was not. If you actually find his antics amusing in this movie then you may actually enjoy the film. If not, he’s just the nail in the coffin.
It’s said that a hero is only as good as the villain that opposes him. If that’s the case then this is the most damning evidence of what a crappy movie this is. I wrote a review a while back where I came up with the concept of naming an ultra generic villain “Guy Evil”. A “Guy Evil” villain is a movie villain so poorly defined that his only defining traits are that he’s a guy and he’s evil. That’s the best way to describe this Hamilton guy here that is the evil rich guy that owns the casino and controls the local drug trade. He’s a guy and he’s evil and that’s it. They should have just named him Guy Evil. And he’s hardly the only character in this movie that one-dimensional.
Chris Vaughn’s family consists of a couple of non-characters. His dad’s only defining trait is that he’s a constantly professing pacifist who hates guns so you just know he’s going to shoot one of the bad guys before it’s all over. His mom and his sister are just there. It looks at first as if there’s going to be more interaction between Vaughn and his young nephew but it too goes nowhere as it becomes clear that he only exists to introduce the movie’s drug element.
Ashley Scott plays an old girlfriend of Vaughn’s that soon becomes his love interest again. And I do mean soon. They have all of about 3 minutes of screen time before he’s pinning her to the mat again. I think the only reason they even included her character was to toss in a little T&A, albeit T&A of a PG-13 level, as she’s in a bra during 85% of her scenes. The first time we see her she’s working as a stripper in the casino, they have another brief meeting, and the next time they have a scene together they waste no time getting all hot and heavy. Afterwards the bad guys show up and a shootout begins and as soon as this scene is over, no more Ashley Scott. She’s gone and not mentioned again. She’s just another totally pointless character.
By the way, I live in an area with plenty of casinos. How come none of them have wet t-shirt go-go dancers on the casino floor or backroom peep shows? But I digress.
And where the hell is the rest of the movie? I think ARMY OF DARKNESS was longer than this flick. There seems to be whole lot missing and the short run time all but confirms this. Was this thing even 80 minutes long? A perfect example comes at the end of the trial where Vaughn vows to run for Sheriff and then in the very next scene he’s the sheriff. You’d think we’d miss a lot in between seeing. There’s other moments like that where you get the feeling there’s a whole scene missing. Doesn’t say much for MGM’s faith in the movie if they decided to edit it down to the bare bones like this. The movie is just a train wreck, although not one you’ll want to slow down and have a look at. When the graphic dedicating the movie to the late Buford Pusser appeared on the screen at the very end I listened real hard for a whirling sound coming from underground.
Heck, if you changed the setting from Washington State to the Ozarks, replaced The Rock with Steven Seagal, and changed the title from WALKING TALL to FIRE DOWN BELOW 2, I seriously doubt anyone would notice the difference. At least with Seagal it would have kitsch value. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pop a copy Brian Bosworth’s STONE COLD into the old VCR and try to cleanse my pallet.
- The Foywonder (www.schlocktoberfest.com)Oof. Big freakin’ oof.
"Moriarty" out.
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Joe Don Baker kicked major arse. The film was not for the faint-hearted, I still remember the scene when his wife gets shot in the car. This new film is another Holywood 'reimagining' or whatever these new peeps call it, they even throw in a lighthearted side-kick in the form of Johnny Knoxville...Geez.
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So why is it that even the worst movies of the 80's are starting to look like timeless classics compared to the films that get released these days?
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Let's have a tribute on this page shall we? You are a "movie" website aren't you?
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The first two questionable reviews show that this is truly reaching its moronic target audience. Zathras, when you say The Rock is no Joe Don Baker or Dan Severenson, are you referring to Bo Svenson or Doc Severinson? With you I think it could go either way. There is no reason for this movie not even as mindless entertainment. It sullies the name of a fairly entertaining B-movie from the past. KID AB - give them a break. The death of Peter Ustinov does certainly deserve a tribute but news of his death just came over the wires a few hours ago from what I can tell. Do you want a passionate tribute or just a statement saying 'Peter Ustinov is dead'? Be patient, I don't think he'll be ignored.
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Only if Joe Don Baker can play the lead.... Think of the possibilites. "Cookie Thief!"
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Mar 29, 2004 9:23:40 AM CST
It's damn near impossible to mock a movie this frustratingly bad
by thefoywonder
Maybe next they can redo SERPICO as an action comedy starring Vin Diesel with Carrot Top as his goofball sidekick?
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Otherwise he's going to be stuck doing mediorce action flicks for the next several years. I don't blame Dwane Johnson for making these blah movies. It's quite obvious he's better than the material he's given to work with.
But as usual, McMahon doesn't know shit about movies, and it will cost The Rock in the long run if he's not careful.
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'Gymkata'! YEAH, BABY! Think Dwayne-boy could handle that? Probably not.
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'Gymkata'! YEAH, BABY! Think Dwayne-boy could handle that? Probably not.
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Why didn't they call this "ROCKING TALL" instead?
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Some of the most classic action movies came out of Golan Globus. Who could forget American Ninja or its sequel. Or any of the 80's Jean Claude Van Damme flicks. On another note, it is funny that even bad 80's action flicks seem classic now. Commando, Stone Cold, anything with Dolph Lundgren, they are truly classics.
The Belt Has Spoken! -
is apparently making a comeback. i stumbled upon a website late one night with descriptions of their 'coming films' which were so weird and cheesy that i started to suspect that the whole website was a parody.... still not sure. haven't seen the movies come out at blockbuster yet, but who knows.
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I know this may never be the popular opinion but I think Golan Globus films KICK ASS. Seriously. Has anyone else seen Invasion U.S.A.??? It's probably my favorite one from them. It stars Chuck Norris and is true Reagan era 80's camp - but it's one of the most insanely violent films you'll ever come across. Witness the evil Russian villain gloat, "They make it so easy..." before he completely destroys a suburban neighborhood (with families inside their homes enjoying Christmas dinner) with a rocket launcher. Golan Globus films are characterized by massive body counts and pyrotechnics. If you rent one of their flicks, you KNOW what you're in for. They never disappoint. How many production studios can you say that about now???
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it's true, billemic, i remember a couple times when i was young and went to the movies: when the logo Golan Globus came up there was often a murmuring in the audience signaling restless anticipation. we knew what we were in for: all-out action... a bit cheesy and over the top... but that's how we liked it! i think they went bust but man... what a wild ride they must have had. if i can find the link to their website i'll send it to you. JUST CAUGHT a classic on the weekend: SOUTHERN COMFORT. National Guardsmen are hunted down in the bayou by bizarre, in-bred cajun psychos. not a Golan Globus production but could well have been one!
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here's the link, bill. http://www.newcannoninc.com/ Golan has taken over and is trying to kick start cannon back to life! i hope he does it. check out 'coming soon': DEATH GAME and BOOTY AND THE BEAST !
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Yes, they've created so many awesome movie memories and catch-phrases for me. Whether it's the villain at the end of Stallone's "COBRA" relentlessly shouting "Hey, pig!!! Pig!!! PIG!!!" to Stallone's cop character while hanging from a meat hook, or Jon Voight shouting, "Worse: human. HUMAN!!!" at the climax of RUNAWAY TRAIN. Golan Globus just kicks ass, God bless the Cannon Group.
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When's the remake of Mitchell coming out?
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Mar 29, 2004 11:12:55 PM CST
Peter untinov sounds vaguely familiar but who the heck is Fred D
by eyegore
And why do they keep saying that The Rock might someday become the new big action hero star of today? Who else is there?? Doesn't he get it by default ever since they started saying that for Scorpion King??
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Pretty good, as in your basic run of the mill action movie but with just enough stuff to keep it interesting and not a snore. This one just looks like more of the same basic crap. Rundown actually had some funny stuff and a nice characterization played by The Rock. I think the dude can be a movie star, and I think The Rundown was a good step in the right direction. Problem is if he keeps making crap like SCORPION KING and WALKING TALL he's gonna be banished to Van Damme direct-to-video hell.
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Jackburtonlives - glad you got to see the nearly forgotten 'Southern Comfort' over the weekend but since it was directed by the underrated genius Walter Hill, it should not be compared with anything that came out of Golan Globus and I'm not putting down those movies by saying that. EyeGore - Fred Dryer is the former NFL star who played 'Hunter' on TV for about six years in the 80's and starred in a mediocre action movie 'Death Before Dishonor' in '87.
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Mar 30, 2004 5:52:40 AM CST
I think The Rock should do all of Joe Don Bakers movies....MITCH
by jon e cin
That would be the best remake EVER!
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didn't they make that Superman 5 crap ?
Hellboy Hellboy! and "2" 6/30/04 -
Golan Globus made Superman V right before they parted ways, I believe - their movies simply weren't making enough money to compensate for their bloated budgets. The terrible Superman V is a direct result of that. I think their first big hit was Death Wish II. Pretty much all the big action stars of the 80's made at least one movie, except for Arnold. Although some of Arnold's older movies are basically Golan Globus-style (Raw Deal comes to mind). Anyhow, you can't slam on Golan Globus...their action films are still a hell of a lot more satisfying than anything from The Rock or Vin Diesal. Check out the original Delta Force film and how it erieely coincides with 9/11.
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I am very interested in the box office for this movie, because it's really a make-or-break flick for the Rock. Scorpion King did well, but not as well as expected. Rundown was a flop. I haven't seen these movies, so this is no comment on the quality. But if Walking Tall doesn't do well, the Rock is going to have a hard time getting lead roles in the future. I actually think this movie has a decent chance of scoring at the box office. Similar situation: Vin Diesel had the underperforming XXX and the total flop A Man Apart, and if Chronicles of Riddick fails, he's toast. I think the Rock has a better chance than Vin Diesel.
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Hey guys, I see some of you geeks are wistfully recalling the days of a power house film making company called Golum Globus who went on to produce some cult classics as well as a couple of bona-fide classic such as: Bloodsport, American Ninja, Delta Force, breakin', as well as Cobra starring Stallone. Now I may be overdoing it when I say these are
"classics" however please consider what these films accomplished. Simply put, they delivered the goods. 'Nuff said. In fact, the more I think about it...these films will never be regarded as anything but pulp actions films but thats besides the point for they were catering to a action starved audience and you could tell that the film makers geniunely loved films and it showed. All produced relatively cheap and on time and going on to make millions at the box office AND on video. Oh and they also made "runaway train" which was actually nominated for some oscars! Let's not forget they also made the abomination that is "over the top" with the kid that every kid I knew during that time wanted so desperately to BEAT to smithereens (remember when he beat those bullies at arm wrestling? Or that crazy guy that eats a cigar?? of course you do. lol) and such forgettable films as Death Wish 2, 3, 4 and 5
and king solomons mines which I happened to dislike but thats me. So, you young 'uns here will hopefully experience a new generation of good 'ol fashioned blow 'em up, shoot 'em up, beat 'em up, blast 'em to hell, smash to hell, action films that will blast your eyeballs to the back of your skulls and REMIND you just why you like action films to begin with. I'm glad they're back...well golan for that matter. Hell, do what I did and email them: ncannon@newcannoninc.com and welcome them back.
~e.
PS: I like the new line up alot but what the fuck is up with "booty and tha beast"??? That's straight to video shit. -
Hey, all agreed Ethan, although I must include Invasion U.S.A. (starring Chuck Norris) as one of Golan Globus' classics. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and track it down (I got the DVD for like $6) - you will NOT be disappointed. It's one of the most insanely violent, psuedo-patriotic films you'll ever see. The death count is staggering, and the inane humor will crack you up. One of the BEST action movie quotes is when Chuck has a knife driven through the center of a goon's hand, and the goon's buddy is about to charge into the room to stop Chuck and Norris just goes, "You take one step in this room and I'll hit you with so many lefts you'll be begging for a right." The goon immediately stands down. CLASSIC!
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If your idea of reviewing a movie is re-telling and spoiling the whole fucking thing then dipshits like Moriarty will think it's respectable.
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you're quite right: SOUTHERN COMFORT is a forgotten classic. how much of it is realistic? are there really that many cajuns in the bayou? i was a bit taken aback by the cajun town by the swamp and their town gathering. wasn't it early morning at the time? they start partying quite early i guess. all in all though a good movie. the guy on rollerskates from the THING was in it too! he seems to meet a grisly death in every film he's in!!! i think the 80s action film genre is dead. as WALKING TALL the remake proves.
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I have'nt seen that film in ages. For those of you unaware of what we are speaking of. The plot (?) is simple. The russians as well as a mix of other dark skinned terrorists happen to casually sneak by the air force AND coast guard and invade miami. They then drive around neighborhoods and gleefully shoot bazookas into homes while people are sleeping, eating, etc. And if memory serves me well, they even target a school bus full of little tykes while they sing row your boat. Of course Chuck Freakin' Norris is called into action and procedes to single-handedly mow down all the bad guys while maintaining that classic wooden norris look that we all know and love. Great stuff and a must rent (or buy) this coming memorial day weekend. I'll be getting this movie soon for sure. Thanks for the reminder! Cannon Films (and the golum-globus team) Forever!!!
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in a totally Heterosexual platonic way.
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Mar 31, 2004 6:02:51 AM CST
I pity the fool who gets excited about the NewCannon line up
by nazzim o'bazzim
One example on there ain't exactly new, and doesn't inspire too much hope for the rest of the lineup. TRAIN TO HELL was originally released in 1993, during what Hugh Grant refers to as his "europudding" years and is one of those garbled european multi-country productions that only exist by cobbling together financing from 1000 dentists. It was originally called NIGHT TRAIN TO VENICE and has a bit of a rep as one of the most incomprehensible films ever. So... worth checking out, I guess. I wonder how old BOOTY AND THA BEAST really is. I see it stars Todd Bridges AND Gov. Gary Coleman along with Mr. T.
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"one of those garbled european multi-country productions that only exist by cobbling together financing from 1000 dentists. It was originally called NIGHT TRAIN TO VENICE and has a bit of a rep as one of the most incomprehensible films ever"
A definite must see for sure! I was suspicious of that film because hugh looks so young and strapping on the cover. As for the rest they look somewhat suspect. For example, why in the WORLD would any company herald their return by showcasing such a film as "booty and tha beast" for chrissakes?? That's the stuff you BURY! lol. Oh, that "1000 denists" line cracked me up. Good one. :) -
You're referring to SHO KOSUGI!!! He was certainly one bad-ass ninja and starred in several Golan-Globus films. The only one I've seen is REVENGE OF THE NINJA, which was one of his earlier films for Golan Globus, and most certainly a near-classic. It also features one of the *longest* fight scenes ever captured on film when Sho goes up against a Gaijin ninja at the very end.
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Apr 01, 2004 11:04:46 AM CST
Wow.. I can't find BOOTY AND THA BEAST on imdb anywhere..
by nazzim o'bazzim
When Mr.T. ( or Todd Bridges or Gary Coleman!!! ) doesn't list a movie on his resume, that's not a very good sign, to say the least. I think I'm beginning to want to see this. Will someone please order it?
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Because we all know them wrasslin' boys take it in the kiester BROTHER!!
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If you were a teen or a starving college student (of which I was both...) in the '80s; you always saw Golan-Globus movies... Why? Cheap. Not Crowded. Action. And a little titillation. I am a little disturbed about this new remake, because the original (I should say real) Buford Pusser took a bullet in the head for fighting the crime in his area.
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I with ya brother. While I don't watch roadhouse everytime it's on, I think it's one of the classics of it's genre. There are too many people on this site who think this is 'aint it head-up-your-ass highbrow art movie news' and just don't get the cool part.
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I just saw this last night and I must say eventhough it was pretty short it was just the kind of popcorn-action-flick that I was looking for. The Rock is a legitimate bad ass in the action scenes and Johnny Knoxville does an excellent job of playing the comedy sidekick. This movie was approved of by the Pusser family by the way, if anything I think that this will encourage people who don't know the real story to research it because of their curiosity, and I think that's better then just remaking the same movie with different actors.
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