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AICN COMICS! @$$Holes Review Byrne
Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
You know them... you love them... well, at the very least, you read them... so get to it!
Hey everybody, Village Idiot here.
Not much to talk about up front this week, so how about we get right to the reviews?
(Click title to go directly to the review)
THOR #75
SHE-HULK #1
JSA #59
JLA #94
AVENGERS/THUNDERBOLTS #1
STREET ANGEL #1
Cheap Shots!
THOR #75 (#577)
Writer: Dan Jurgens
Pencils: Scott Eaton
Inks: Drew Geraci
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Thor score and over two years ago, Dan Jurgens set out to tell a massive, epic Thor tale. He did it. He did a pretty good job of doing it. The problem is that the guy is still doing it and quite frankly, I'm ready for it to end.
I liked the direction that Dan Jurgens went with the Thunder God. For years, Odin had been preparing for his son to take over as ruler of Asgard. When Odin died, that day came. Right off the bat, Thor made some major mistakes choosing to zip to Earth instead of fulfilling his duties as All-Father on Asgard. It seemed as if Jurgens was telling a story about how the gods should not take such a large role in the lives of humanity; that humans need to make their own mistakes in order to learn how to take care of themselves; that nothing good would come from too much godly intervention.
So Thor saw this split in duties as a problem. He's never been the sharpest sword in the armory, so he decided to use his newly-acquired OdinForce power to merge Earth and Asgard so he could oversee both realms. Asgard now hovered miles above New York City. The gods were sent down to fight crime, cure sicknesses, bring water to the deserts, and peace to the war zones. Cults of Thor were created, worshipping those who had taken care of virtually all of Earth's problems. It was pretty obvious that Jurgens was telling a story about how the gods should not take such a large role in the lives of humanity; that humans need to make their own mistakes in order to learn how to take care of themselves; that nothing good would come from too much godly intervention.
Even the Avengers were concerned about Thor's actions. In a war-torn battlefield, Thor and the armies of Asgard fought Captain America, Iron Man, and SHIELD in a crossover that spanned through all of the AVENGERS core titles. This battle was left as a stalemate, but resulted in the severance of ties between Thor and his teammates. It was definitely proof that Jurgens was telling a story about how the gods should not take such a large role in the lives of humanity; that humans need to make their own mistakes in order to learn how to take care of themselves; that nothing good would come from too much godly intervention.
The humans in power didn't really like being bossed around by some Fabio with a fondness for furs, armor, and carpenter's tools. When the Avengers failed to stop Thor, they dropped a nuke on Thor and launched a full scale attack on Asgard, which knocked the Golden City out of the sky and destroyed New York City and all of its inhabitants below. By now, it was fairly obvious that Jurgens was telling a story about how the gods should not take such a large role in the lives of humanity; that humans need to make their own mistakes in order to learn how to take care of themselves; that nothing good would come from too much godly intervention.
Flash forward one hundred and fifty years, and we've gone down the road of no return and this title officially becomes a WHAT IF? story. As a service to the humans, Thor has toppled all of the governments, massacred all of the heroes and mutants who once opposed him, and now rules over the entire Earth. Thor has a son, Prince Magni, who is starting to appreciate the spirit he sees in those humans who dare oppose his father. Much like his father, Magni starts to care more of his relations with the humans than his duties as Prince of Asgard. Much like Odin, Thor doesn't appreciate his son's actions. Magni sees his father's actions to be wrong and the focus in this book has shifted from father to son. Issue #75, begins a new arc which seems to be focusing on the theme that the gods should not take such a large role in the lives of humanity; that humans need to make their own mistakes in order to learn how to take care of themselves; that nothing good would come from too much godly intervention.
Do you see what I'm getting at here? Jurgens is repeating himself over and over with every arc (there have been about five arcs so far). He's driven his point home; a point that had merit but has since lost it poignancy due to the repetition. Jurgens has taken an intriguing idea; one that evolved the character of Thor, and sucked all of it dry by making this storyline at least ten to twenty issues too long. And it's still going, and going, and going, and going…
The story itself is well done. I've never seen this type of story told in THOR before. Jurgens should be commended for what he's done with this title, but this storyline has gone on long enough. End it. We know how it's going to end; Thor will learn that the gods should not take such a large role in the lives of humanity; that humans need to make their own mistakes in order to learn how to take care of themselves; that nothing good would come from too much godly intervention. Let him learn that. Let him move on. This is like the last twenty minutes of LORD OF THE RINGS here. Just let it end. Let it happen, Jurgens. I want my Thor back. This book is getting painful to read. Just end it and let's all move on.
SHE-HULK #1
Written by Dan Slott; Pencils by Juan Bobillo; Inks by Marcelo Sosa
Published by Marvel Comics
A Jon Quixote vs. Superninja Cage Match Review
Jon Quixote: When Dan Slott's ARKHAM ASLYUM: LIVING HELL mini-series hit stands, I immediately heralded it as the coming of the next great writer. I even went so far as to use the P-word (no, not that one. "Perfect") on that debut issue. Well, I'll tell you right now – he's done it again. Maybe I'll predicate the p-word perfect with another p-word practically, but SHE-HULK is one knock-your-socks-off debut issue – the best I've seen from Marvel since THUNDERBOLTS #1 blew my socks off almost 10 years ago.
But now we've got our resident She-Hulk expert, superninja, who wants to piss on our parade. So it's time for some classic AICN trash-talk dialogue. Game on!
Superninja: Actually, Jon, I enjoyed the issue too, and I like where the writer seems to be going with this. His She-Hulk's vivacious and funny, but perhaps a bit extreme. It's completely necessary for the story, but her wild party-girl ways don't really make sense in terms of continuity. It's written for the sake of the story and it makes the character look like she's sort of clueless. Which is the point of the story.
Wrong wrong wrong, Stupidninja! That's the point of the story! That She-Hulk takes Jennifer's repressions and blasts them into bits! She's proactive to the extreme! Sort of like Poochie, only, y'know, not crappy (though maybe if they only gave him a chance…). Sure, maybe the Jade Giantess has never been this extreme, but now she is! And it makes her fun and funny. FINALLY! And I say finally even though I haven't read a lot of She-Hulk stories in the past.
I agree with you, Jon! She-Hulk is one of those funny, fun characters that crack-wise and act like they don't care, and then get serious when it's really time to lay it on the line. Like Hawkeye or Spider-Man. The She-Hulk I remember from the 80s is essentially to girl geeks what Spider-Man is to boy geeks: the nerd that gets to be cool. And the writer definitely hones in on that here.
How can you type so legibly with your sphincter pulled over your forehead like that? One of the best things about She-Hulk is that she's this repressed geek who gets to be the super-cool hottie. And she doesn't even have to pretend Rex Harrison isn't gay to do so! And Slott totally keys in on that.
Another thing that knocked me on my ass about this book is just how stuffed it is. I actually had to go back and count the pages, 'cause I was certain they snuck in a double-sized issue for my reading pleasure. But Nope. 22 pages! Densely packed like a black-hole or a San Francisco gigolo on free starfish night!
Plus, this is a funny, funny book. I laughed out loud so many times. Especially regarding Blizzard. "I was gonna be the guy who froze over the world!" Classic. Sure, you get the odd annoying Chumbawumba reference, but most of the cracks were right on the money.
The Chumbawamba thing was annoying, but then I think it was supposed to make her come across as kind of desperate. I was reminded of how much I miss the old days when the Avengers mansion was a bit more rowdy and not so dour and serious.
Oh sure, leave it to you to key in on the Chumbawumba. Well I'm sorry, but that's just being stupid picky. It's one little detail! And it's not like it didn't have a point, y'know? And I for one am happy that we're not getting a stodgy Avengers mansion anymore. Back to the good ol' days of parties and softball, that's what I say. And if you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself!
*Sigh* One of the reasons I liked Jennifer so much growing up was that she wasn't like Bruce. She was happier being hulked out, which was entirely the point to me. I don't mind the writer exploring some of the downside of that or even playing on the different personalities, but I hope it's something that doesn't become the ENTIRE focus of the character, because that would take the fun right out of it.
It could make the Avengers seem a little silly, because her behavior is just so immature. Even in this issue, you get the sense that she should've been kicked out long before this and they've just put up with her. There's really no context for her behavior other than she's acting out because she doesn't want to be Jennifer Walters. Then again, you could chalk up the change to the recent "Search for She-Hulk" arc, where she got messed up a bit.
Okay, I'll give you that She-Hulk is more extreme than she's ever been. But I think that's part of what makes this version so much more interesting than all the other one's I've seen. She's not just green and strong and a little boisterous. She's HULK-boisterous. Hell, if Hulk himself only got mildly pissed everytime he went green, he would have been cancelled decades ago, and Bruce Jones would be an affront to literature thanks to his gleeful rape of our Moon Knight memories. It only makes sense that She-Hulk would be extreme regarding her repressions. And thanks to this comic, I finally "get" her, y'know?
And if you've really got such a huge fucking problem about this "New & Improved" She-Hulk, might I direct your attention to a little arc called "Search for She-Hulk" in a little comic called THE FREAKING AVENGERS!! Tada! No-Prize. Is that so hard? No, it isn't. At least as long as you're not some unbending continuity freak ninja. And who knows? Maybe Slott is leading into that. It's only the first issue. Now where's my no-prize?
Sure, that's good enough for a no-prize. And you're right, it wouldn't hurt for the writer to touch on it since it's such a recent event. Maybe he will.
Oh, you'd like that. Wouldn't you?
I'm telling you, Jon. I liked the book. I'm thrilled to see her back in her own title, and the creative team really seems to get her. It's a great first issue, and I'm dying to see where they're going with this.
Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree then. Because I think it's a great first issue. And I can't wait for the next one!
JSA #59
Geoff Johns - Writer
Sean Phillips - Art
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
In the Kurt Vonnegut novel SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE, the character Billy Pilgrim finds himself "unstuck in time"; that is, his consciousness ceases to experience his life chronologically. One moment he's a middle-aged, middle-class father, the next he's a teenager, the next he's a W.W.II POW in Dresden. Needless to say, among the other themes within the story of SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE, Billy's situation has existential ramifications. So much of the way we live, so much of the way we understand our living, is based on cause and effect, beginnings and endings, our striving towards our goals, and the mystery of the future, that when you remove these elements, life would have to become something else.
Nothing quite on that level happens in JSA #59, and yet there's a taste of it. The time-traveling villain Per Degaton has found a new way to live. He's already seen everything; there is no future anymore, only history; and he knows that any effort on his part to change history will only be thwarted by the JSA time and time again. So his answer is to forsake linear reality, and, in a sense, create a new one. His time machine has become an interactive Tivo, and he spends his time merely traveling from incident to incident, like channel to channel, watching the events he finds entertaining, and rewatching the ones he finds really entertaining. It's a kind of futile (and as it turns out, sadistic) hedonism, but then again, what has he got left?
And so the two of the major strands that weave through JSA #59 are set: the "real" linear time of the JSA and the rest of the world, and the order of events strung together by Degaton. Add one more: the order of events presented to us by Geoff Johns in the comic book, a sequence all its own. If this all sounds confusing, it's not, at least not by the end of the issue. This weaving of moments is just one of the more canny masterstrokes of JSA #59, a truly standout comic book from an already terrific series, and one of the best comics I've read in a while. I was blown away.
So what are the incidents that a supervillain would find most entertaining? How about the painful moments of his enemies. Their mistakes. Their deaths. Or really, how about any moment where he can provide commentary, perhaps hint at the future, twisting the emotional knife in a way that only a man in his position can. The JSA have just come off a particularly grueling mission and they're trying to settle accounts, but their "emotional work" is interrupted by Degaton's ghost. Even the happier moments are a bit spoiled by Degaton, if not for the characters, at least for us the readers.
"You know there are no such things as happy endings. Only endings."
And all of this was presented by Johns and Phillips with a rhythm that really brought out the beauty of the structure, and at times, the poignancy of the story. Much of the effect was carried off by Sean Phillips art, which juxtaposes an arguably retro comic style with Johns' poetic emotional beats. Perhaps the art kept moments from being overplayed, perhaps it added a surreal aspect. Sometimes Phillips' art just had flat-out noir effectiveness. Whatever the case, it was a change of pace for JSA, and I think it worked.
After reading the book, I was actually reminded a bit of Alan Moore's early DCU work, perhaps even some of his later work too: Never has JSA felt quite so Vertigo. But it's still the JSA, still the characters that we've come to love, still the world of superheroes.
In the end, JSA #59 was a comic that was both poignant and thought-provoking, surprisingly poetic and even somewhat haunting. It stuck with me. I really loved this book, and I'm giving it my highest recommendation. If you haven't gotten it, get it. And if you've already read it, read it again. This one's a good one.
JLA #94
Writers: John Byrne & Chris Claremont
Artist: John Byrne
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
All hands brace for "event comic" impact!
Over twenty years ago, Chris Claremont and John Byrne took UNCANNY X-MEN to a new level of greatness. In fact, they pretty much peaked the book. Marvel's mutants have had some good yarns since – great ones even - but these two guys were the best (sorry Morrison fans – you know it's true). That they didn't see eye-to-eye on the handling of the book is something fandom came to learn after the fact, but at the time, their creative differences were pleasantly invisible.
And now, for the first time since the days when they gave us Proteus and Alpha Flight and "Days of Future Past" and the Dark Phoenix saga, Byrne and Claremont are working together again.
Dear GOD, what can be the result?!!
Well, if you're looking for either a return to greatness for the pair or a train wreck of clashing egos, I'm afraid I must disappoint. JLA 94 is a solid, largely pedestrian start to a six-part supernatural mystery. The plotting (which is all Byrne) and the scripting (which is all Claremont) edge toward quaintness - quaint in this case being '70s/'80s Marvel style - but neither of these creators are known for being cutting edge these days, so no great shocker there. They're good craftsmen and they've crafted a good opener to a traditionalist mystery – simple as that. Whether its vibe is in step with what modern twentysomething-and-up comic fans want will be interesting to gauge in the months to come. My money's on "uh-uh," but after fans rallied around BATMAN: HUSH, SUPERMAN/BATMAN, and JLA/AVENGERS, who can predict?
The plot sees the League investigating a nationwide string of disappearances of teenage drifters. Batman, very much in Holmesian detective mode, is the first to catch on to the fact that a small percentage of the missing kids possessed the metagene (DC's answer to Marvel mutantism). Burdened with Claremont's hit-and-miss narrative exposition and a few too many thought balloons, the League splits up to investigate. Subplots include the mysterious disappearance of the JLA's forgettable mystic, Manitou Raven; a two-and-a-half page interlude featuring some Silver Age DC heroes shortly to spin-off into their own new book; and Superman's first-hand encounter with some cultist types who serve the story's Big Bad.
MINOR SPOILER TO FOLLOW...
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If you keep up with online comic news at all, this isn't much of a reveal: said Big Bad is a vampire with a mysterious agenda. And while this storyline's sensibilities skew towards younger readers...oh man...I could not help but find this guy laughable. He's an oily, foppish, dandy-type to whom Byrne gives the facial of Count Orlok from F.W. Murnau's famously creepy NOSFERATU, but the addition of slicked-down, parted-in-the-middle hair slapped on him could've been cribbed from the nerdy kid in Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher" video. It's a weak combination, and when the Big Bad announces his ridiculous name – "Crucifer" – I actually laughed. All the horror of "Blackula" there. It might not've been so cringe-inducing had letterer Tom Orzechowski not broken from normal comic book font to write the name out in GIANT, RED LETTERS, but he did and it was. As good as Orzechowski is with the meat-and-potatoes of lettering, his stylistic breaks from boldface and italics for emphasis have always struck me as cornily over-the-top. I still have nightmares from his work on SPAWN.
Visually, this book is easy on the eyes. The talented Jerry Ordway inks Byrne's strong designs, and the end result is a refreshing remembrance of classic superhero dynamism. No stylistic quirks, no manga influence – just Superman, Batman, Flash, et al. looking every bit the iconic heroes. Interestingly, Byrne's message board has run side-by-side images of Byrne's pencils and Ordway's finished art, revealing that Ordway's stamp has been enormous – to the point that he's at times outright altered the pencils he's working over. That grates on the artistic purist in me, but I have to admit – the net effect's more pleasing to my eye than just about anything Byrne's produced in the last ten years. His storytelling's always remained rock solid, but I've long missed the tightly-hatched detail work that used to characterize his stuff - Ordway returns that quality. 'Bout the only thing I didn't like were Byrne's depiction of Metropolis's futuristic cars (so that's what Supes was hitting that bad guy with), and his tradition of drawing cartoony stars around the impacts of superheroic punches (veering into Warner Brothers territory).
Solid craftsmanship aside, when I hit the "to be continued" last panel, I didn't feel any anxiousness for the next issue. There's a low-impact pronouncement that "life on this world is as good as over" and a time-worn next-issue caption reading "The Enemy Within." ZZzzzzzz. It all feels pretty rote, and isn't that the kind of storytelling against which Claremont and Byrne's UNCANNY once stood out? I like "old school," but y'know what? Even old school style needs to throw off the shackles of routine. I expect to follow this story because I have an interest in the aforementioned Silver Age guest stars slated for a Byrne spin-off series, but I think I'd have had to be somewhere in the 8 to 12 age group to get excited about this. And maybe that's the story's intended audience, in which case I hope for the sake of two craftsman I used to love that there are more 8-to-12-year-old readers out there than I suspect.
AVENGERS/THUNDERBOLTS #1
Kurt Busiek & Fabian Nicieza: Writers
Barry Kitson: Artist
Marvel Comics: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Suffering Divided Loyalties
It seems we always get two similar stories brought out around the same time, usually at the movies. DEEP IMPACT and ARMAGEDDON. DANTE'S PEAK and VOLCANO. SAVING PRIVATE RYAN and THE THIN RED LINE. PREFONTANE and WITHOUT LIMITS. Well, add JSA's "Black Reign" and AVENGERS/THUNDERBOLTS to that list.
Both these stories involve one of the more devious villains out there playing the part of the hero for their own benefit. Both feature the old guard of traditional heroes set against these former comrades who are blurring the line between heroics and villainy. And both are going to end bloody. Sure it's probably unfair to directly compare these two stories, especially since "Black Reign" was released in total before AVENGERS/T-BOLTS. But comparisons are all but inescapable.
And in comparison, this series is off to a slow start. While the first installment of the JSA story was wall-to-wall action, almost all the combat in this issue is shown off panel. There's a big time battle involving the T-Bolts, and one with the Avengers, but we only see them as reports on the news. There's also the fact that the leader of the T-Bolts, a reformed Baron Zemo, is all but alone in his actions. With the exception of the Fixer, and possibly Moonstone, everyone else on the team either doesn't trust him or is out and out spying on him for the Avengers.
And yet, I'm recommending this book. Wholeheartedly recommending it.
After all, it's been a year since the Thunderbolts was cancelled. (That "Fight Club" nonsense was a mass hallucination, okay?) While I have a long memory when it comes to comics characters and stories, I'm sure there are people out there who can't even name the characters who left the team back in issue #75. This issue does a great job of reintroducing these characters, of reminding everyone of who these people are, and why they're doing what they're doing.
There's also the great introduction/flashback, showing the first Baron Zemo defending a village from invaders in the fifteenth century. These three pages kick ten kinds of ass, while giving us a look inside the thinking process of the current Baron. Barry Kitson's work here, and on the entire issue in fact, is first rate. There may be quite a few talking head panels in this intro issue, but by god they look good.
Then there's the work form Busiek and Nicieza. Ol' Fabian's been a favorite writer of mine for a good long while now, and as for Kurt Busiek… He's Kurt FUCKING Busiek! He's one of the best pure superhero writers active today, and reading his words coming from the mouths of the Avengers again is a blessing. His definitive run on that title is one even the great and powerful Bendis is going to have a damn hard time equaling.
Yes, this issue starts slow, but it sure as hell is going to explode soon. The way Captain America is acting here, you know he wants to throw a beating on some super villains. Hell, who can blame him? He hasn't been in a good old-fashioned one on one brawl in years. My only real problem is that I love both sets of teams. Who the hell am I supposed to root for, anyway? It's probably going to be whatever team Songbird ends up on, but still…
Aw, who am I kidding? What matters is that this team is back in action, the characters and writers both. This is going to be fun!
STREET ANGEL #1
Writer: Brian Maruca
Writer/Artist: Jim Rugg
Publisher: Slave Labor Graphics
Reviewed by Cormorant
Beneath a perfectly lovely (yet vaguely disquieting) salmon-pink cover lurks my favorite comic surprise of the week. It's a lampoon of the action/adventure genre in the tradition of THE TICK (sans the superheroes), but its sense of humor is actually a little more off the beaten path - a little less commercial. Which isn't to say it's funnier or better, just that the bizarre world of STREET ANGEL is closer to the eccentricity of Bob Burden's offbeat FLAMING CARROT COMICS. This is a good thing. Every dork and his brother in small press comics have done wannabe TICK comics – now it's time for something a little more esoteric!
The action/comedy revolves around a mad scientist ("the deadliest geologist of the last 1000 years") named Dr. Pangea. Remember "Pangea" from grade school, kids? The super-continent from which all our current continents split over the course of millions of years? Well, the aptly named Dr. Pangea full intends to – dear god! - "repangeaify" them! This is supposed to...umm...somehow make him a god. The specifics, beyond the fact that he's using a giant laser, are, happily, never explained – you just roll with it all knowing full well its in service to a stupid good time.
Enter Street Angel – aka Jesse Sanchez - world-weary skateboarding teenage heroine with a dry wit and the martial arts skills to take down both ninjas and super ninjas. Played with a straight face right out of the '60s BATMAN TV show, Brian Maruca and Jim Rugg showcase her hilariously simple infiltration of Dr. Pangea's base and a showdown whose most action packed moments are wryly described instead of being shown. Take, for instance, the execution of one henchman at the hands of another. A single panel shows the ninja executioner just standing there with arms folded, as a caption reads:
Faster than the human eye, Gary unfolds his arms, takes out his sword, slices through Roger's neck from side to side, wipes the little bit of blood from his sword that had time to collect there, sheathes his sword and resumes his position near Dr. Pangea.
Inspired!
Want some more samples? You can check out the full first eight pages of the series here, which include Street Angel's funny-as-hell dressing down of the mayor by way of megaphone. Not shown is the "shirts vs. skins" game of ninja basketball, Street Angel's interrogation of various lowlifes ("Crank, crack, smack, X, PCP, angel dust, black tar...but no Pangea. Sorry kid."), and her final confrontation with a legion of idiot ninjas. I love the book's absurd sense of humor, totally free of the snarky satire that's infiltrated every corner of pop culture these days. Granted, STREET ANGEL travels well-worn genre clichés, but it travels 'em with style.
And if the writing reminds me of Burden's FLAMING CARROT, so too does the clean-line, yet somehow underground, style of art. There's energy and an appealing line quality and strong layouts going on here, but the art happily eludes commercial slickness. As a result, the story seems to take place in its own quirky, inner-city world of supervillainy and incidental heroism.
Pick this one up or tell your local comic shop lunkheads to order it for you if it's not on the shelves. Fans of THE TICK, SCURVY DOGS, FLAMING CARROT, and THE GOON – any or all of the above – should be all over it.
Cheap Shots!
EL CAZADOR: THE BLOODY BALLAD OF BLACKJACK TOM - Is it far, far too early for the otherwise outstanding series, EL CAZADOR, to feature a one-shot spin-off? Most assuredly. But that doesn't mean it's not good. Featuring art that reminded me of Tom Mandrake's work, this little sea shanty tells the tale of a preacher man turned to piracy after his life goes to hell. Presumably he'll cross paths with our Lady Sin in the regular series, which I'd be more than happy to see – it's just that his origin tale should have been an issue of the regular series. – Cormorant
IRON FIST #1 - It is hard to translate martial arts, a genre that relies on motion, to the static panels of a comic book. But even that excuse won't save this turd. Marvel has hyped up James Mullaney as the next big thing due to his writing experience with the REMO WILLIAMS books. IRON FIST #1 is the perfect example of how a writer can excel in one medium, yet fail in another. Mullaney gives us some of the most inept and downright LAME dialog I have read in a long time. This book is filled with annoying things big and small like the goofy scene where a bunch of hoodlums try to swindle street tax from a bunch of preteens (because that's where all of the big bucks are, you know) or the fact that somehow Misty Knight doesn't have her prosthetic arm anymore and has been reduced to a psycho-babbling damsel. And don't get me started on the awkward action sequences scrawled together by the Manga artist of the month at Marvel. Man, I wanted this book to rock. I wanted people to know how cool it was that Iron Fist could channel his chi into his right hand until it becomes like unto a thing of iron. Instead, we have Mullaney channeling his bad writing into this book until it becomes like unto a pile of crap. - Ambush Bug 
FALLEN ANGEL #9 - PASSION OF CHRIST mania continues to sweep the comic book industry! Well, maybe not, but we do learn that Lee's origin seems to have its roots in that same pivotal event. Or is that her in the flashback? Hair color's wrong, but... At any rate, this is an action-heavy issue with a few mysteries revealed, others perpetuated or clouded, and I remain compelled. Supporting cast member "Asia Minor" is clearly shaping up to be the Claude Rains to Lee's Humphrey Bogart. - Cormorant 
ACTION #813 - Another episode in the "Godfall" storyarc, and probably another issue burning up the sales chart. Why? Pretty pictures. Which is not to say that the story is bad: By this time, Superman, trapped in the miniature city of Kandor, has regained his memory while his Kandorian wife has made a break for the world of big people, thinking it the land of Gods and instead finding, well, us. Again, the story ain't bad, but come on, that's not what's spiking the sales. It's Micheal Turner's covers and Talent Caldwell's pencils. And they are pretty. - Village Idiot 
NIGHTWING #91 - I flipped through this issue on a whim, having never followed the series, but what I saw impressed me. The art by Patrick Zircher is what caught my eye - god DAMN is it good! He's working the artistic tradition of Neal Adams and Brent Anderson, with a touch of noir thrown in for good measure, and his Nightwing is a serious badass. Devin Grayson's story ain't half-bad either. Nightwing's apparently been given the DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN treatment by Bludhaven's Kingpin analog, Blockbuster, and maybe it's a touch derivative, but I had no problems with the moment-to-moment writing. I always figured Nightwing to be the poor man's Batman (though I liked him heading the Teen Titans), but maybe I've been giving him a bad rap. Give this one a look, if only for the artwork. - Cormorant 
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Frist. Yessir. I need to get my ass out and buy some comics this week. I suck.
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Nice line, AB: 'channel his bad writing into this book until it becomes like unto a pile of crap.'
I dug Ultimate X-Men this week. I like the back-room intrigue angle and found the new characterizations/motivations for the characters in the briefing scene interesting. We'll see how it goes from here... Sweet God, though, leave Bishop as far away from the Ultimate Universe as you can - "I've come back to prevent a future where men wear scarves and mullets!" Never liked that character.
The conclusion to the New X-Men Morrison/Silvestri story was almost lost on me. The art was terrific, but in the end, I don't think I dropped nearly enough tabs of acid to truly appreciate the conclusion. May require a reread. -
Fine. I'll do it myself. Now, if you're reading this you've doubtless heard all the hype. 300 issues blah blah blah great achievment blah blah blah misogynist blah blah blah. Bottom line - is it a worthy conclusion? Does it end the series in such a way that if someone with an incredible amount of time on their hands sat down and read all 300 issues they'd finish satisfied in the outcome. The answer - sort of. Without spoiling too much, the issue is about Cerebus' death and the moments immediately thereafter. Some of the panels will press a little on the nostalgia buttons of longtime readers like myself. Unfortunately, Dave Sim's obsessions with religion and the rejection of all things female lead to a rather odd and ultimately hollow conclusion. Although, I suppose the final pages can be interpreted in any number of ways if taken on their own, without any knowledge of the author's true intent. I would like to recommend that anyone interested in Cerebus check out the Yahoo group dedicated to the little miscreant. Sim recently participated there, and gave some insight into some of the mysteries behind the book and reminded us that when he drops the pretense he's actually a very funny guy. sk
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Hmmm, guess it wasn't just me who couldn't talk back this morning. Anyway, great reviews! Right on about Shulkie, if only they keep the quality high. JSA wasn't THAT good, but it was entertaining. It is interesting that JSA is so "square" but still interesting and current. Iron Fist was so clearly terrible that I could tell in the comic shop it wasn't something to buy. Also, nice review of Avengers/Thunderbolts. Now, if you could just address Exiles and what in the world Austen is doing over there...
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Oh my god. Let's introduce YET ANOTHER "mysterious team" that was "lurking in the shadows" with the typical "let's go get'em" member-with-a-shitty-accent, the "leader type" who is wearing CEREBRO, "guy in a mask" and "apprehensive hot chick".
Yawn. An I be they're "all new" characters. Like we need MORE new characters shoved down our throats? Trot out some older ones that aren't being used. Hell, Judd Winnick (whose writing I can't stand - I've dropped every DC series he started on) is trucking out Captain Marvel Junior and Metamorpho. Stop reinventing the wheel.
Dull, dull, dull.
This is almost as bad as the previous 3-issue Evolution thing. I'm dropping JLA 'till 100, which I *might* take a look at, as it's tied almost too closely to Kelly's incomprehensible Superman run. -
Everything I've heard about this issue is positive, but cmon, its SHE-hulk. I'm still washing my eyes from her 2 issue apperance in Uncanny. I guess I'm going to just have to pick this one up before I can believe it.
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Gee, and what I liked about the Byrne/Claremont JLA was they weren't trying to reinvent the wheel. Not like I was picking it up expecting it to change the way I think of comic books, just a nice little reunion of sorts. It's like a few years ago when the released a couple of "new" Beatles songs and people expected them to stack up to 7-8 years worth of great albums. Not gonna happen. I'm not buying the She-Hulk praise fully either, but maybe I'll try it out. Hard to buy books for those B-level characters that they roll out every 4-5 years only to cancel after 20 (if that) issues. The best thing I read last week was "Optic Nerve" which I have never read and wish I had been all along. The best thing I read this week (so far) was the Runaways, which introduced about a dozen of those very cool, and very logical, story-and-character-enhancing plot twists that Brian K Vaughn is quickly becoming famous for.
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You fucking Byrne bashers sicken me---- This is an interesting story with GREAT ART! Doom Patrol will be a lot of fun
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Who knows what the prospects of the title are? Yeah, it could be shit-canned in six issues 'cause nobody's buying it. It probably will be. But I'll tell you right now that it is *NOT* the usual second-tier character roll-out to quick cancellation title. Not for old "Heroes for Hire/Quicksilver/Alpha Flight" overstylized art, shallow characters and big crossover-ready fights Marvel. Not for Nu "Venom/Namor/SilverSurfer" nothing happens but fat panels and blah blah blah but the trade will be great Marvel. And not for New Nu "More X-SpiderManAmerica Four!" Marvel. *** It *is* truly a different looking, feeling book, and, imho, the sort of genre-straddling "Nu" Marvel should have been doing from the beginning (meaning: it doesn't forget the real reason people are going to read about a blind ninja in red pajamas). And yes, a self-contained story in 22 pages. A fat, action & humor & happenins heavy self-contained 22 page story. *** I don't think it'll be for everybody, but if you want to have some fun and pick up a book written by a guy who actually likes superheroes and knows how to write a monthly comic that, then it's worth a looksee. And maybe, like me, you'll go absolutely ape-shit for it. I promise you, at the very least, you won't feel ripped off, like you bought a three-dollar stack of nothing.
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The mysterious team isn't all new and is, in fact, an old team trotted out again. It's Byrne's new version of the OLD original Doom Patrol -- whose new series is spinning off of this story arc. Byrne's version will ignore all previous incarnations of the team and reintroduce the original lineup as if they are being introduced for the first time. Given the gymnastic twists that DC has undertaken to getits frayed continuity to seem somehow cohesive, it seems odd that they are jettisoning forty years of the team's history. Especially since the DP's most recent series only ended about a year ago. Well, at least we'll have a cutting edge 1960s superteam handled by a cutting edge 1970s talent. Everyone should check out John Byrne's forum to see a colossal ego spinning out of control. Funny and sad at the same time. I'll stick to the Drake/Premiani and Grant Morrsion back issues myself.
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Mar 18, 2004 7:02:15 PM CST
Yes, She-Hulk! (Plus: The only way to make Doom Patrol work... )
by thecomedian
***I grew up with the Bryne She-Hulk. One of my favorite comic book scenes of all time is She-Hulk and Wyatt Wingfoot walking down St. Marks Place in the East Village on their way to see "Little Shop of Horrors". THAT'S how you do "realism". This new book ain't Bryne but in comparison with the sludge Marvel usually puts out it's freekin' Gold. I did find the underwear model annoyingly right out of central casing but his only real purpose was to show Jen how shallow she is. The whole bit with the fight in space was hilarious. "I'm the Blizzard you Cow!" I dig Bobillo's pencils. He draws both She-Hulk and Jen with that same Cuppie-Doll face and he's got a good eye for action AND comedy which is hard to find these days unless your talking about Kev Maquire or Adam Hughes or Bart Sea.. Okay, I had to throw in a JLI reference somewhere. People who are fans of that book and Peter David's run on Hulk will probably eat this book up too. Bobillo is obviously aware he's drawing a comedy book. Why else would he draw such an idiotic Captain America costume. Seriously, it looks like he's wearing pajamas. Actually it looks like a dorky fat kid in Captain America Pajamas. My only fear of this book is that it becomes to sitcomy and turns into Ally McBeal with superpowers especially since Jen Walters is a scrawny, insecure, little lawyer chick. If that happens count me out.***Second, yet another Doom Patrol relaunch. Great. It will surely fail. John Bryne is a tired, mysanthropic burnout and a shadow of the brilliant talent he once was. The last interesting thing he ever did was OMAC and that was 13 years ago. Why dump all that DP continuity, especially the last book which was a cult-fan favorite(not to mention Morrison's run) to start fresh. That's so sloppy and stupid to start Cliff Steele over from the beginning when he's pretty well know as a hero. Shit, Beast Boy and Elongated Man where in the last one. Beast Boy's origin comes directly from The Doom Patrol. That all goes in the garbage too? So John Byrne can fart out more crap that will either go unnoticed or get canceled and forgoten once he's off the book and onto something else. What's with this disjointed free form continuity in DC all of a sudden. Between this and the skull fuck Waid is doing to Man of Steel with Birthright(which BTW ends with a Krytonian invasion of earth?!?! WTF!?!? Is Waid conforming to Smallville AND that stupid JJ Abrams script)it's like DC's turning into Marvel all of a sudden. ***Anyhow, HERE'S HOW YOU MAKE DOOM PATROL WORK. MAKE IT A STRAIGHT-UP DECONSTUCTIONIST RIFF ON IT'S SISTER BOOK, X-MEN. No one's ever tried that angle. The trick would be to do it without inventing new characters who are supposed to be ersatz versions of the specific X-MEN characters. Just do a deconstruction on the same themes. Use Robot Man, Negative Man, Elasti-Girl, Beast Boy, Crazy Jane, Karma, The kids from the last mini and the Chief to tell deconstructionist X-Men stories. I guess they could even make Elasti-Girl the Jean Grey Surrogate since she's the only one who'd be coming back from the dead. Think about it. Marvel's Merry Mutants are the great comic phenomenon of the past 25 or so years and NO ONE has ever done a deconstructionist riff on them. Sure the JLA and The Avengers have been deconstructed to death. Superman and Batman in particular probably have about 6 deconstructionist doppelganers a piece. No one's ever done that with X-Men.
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Don't get me wrong - I think comicdom could use more free-spirited, sexually-liberated green-skinned uber-babes who can bench press buicks. The problem with She-Hulk's newest series is that it tries painfully hard to make with the ha-ha and it's just NOT happening. But what do I know? I liked Giffen's JUSTICE LEAGUE when I was a dumb kid, but now I find both it and FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE to be beyond groan-inducing. And yet other people find these books to be hilarious. Some, even, within the illustrious ranks of @$$holedom! Freaks. But far be it from me to discourage anyone from enjoying a bad humor comic if they like that kind of thing. Hey, at least it's not the umpteenth mutant title on the market. Anyway, call me when She-Hulk meets Spragg the Living Hill again. Ah, now THAT was a story...
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Poor Dan Jurgens. He's such a middle-of-the-road talent, and when he kicked this Thor-the-fascist story off, he chanced across a rare shot at relevance for the AUTHORITY generation. I was kind of impressed with the start of the arc, m'self. And now, a dozen or two issues later, I think he's just totally painted himself into a corner. It's like a miniature version of the endless soap opera that STRANGERS IN PARADISE has become. I think that Jurgens, like Terry Moore, is afraid to cap off his only claim to fame, instead choosing to perpetuate it interminably. The net result for both these guys will be these same: stories which could have been fondly remembered had they resolved with strong, succinct endings will end up as little more than "coulda been" footnotes. And I can't really condemn these creators. It's a rough industry, and when by luck or by skill you stumble across something that works, it's gotta be enormously tempting to cling to it for as long as possible. I guess it's just...sad.
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You're a stuffed shirt. A horse-faced hypocrit. A New England School-Marm. That's right, you're Joseph Cotton in Citizen Kane. I'll admit that looking back at JLI some of it is very hit and miss but "groan inducing"? Sometimes they try a little too hard with the dialogue especially lately in the new series(I think it's the first book to use 8 panel pages regularly to fill all that dialogue)BUT the situations they put Blue & Gold and the rest in are what make the stories so funny. If you can't agree on that then what exactly is funny to you then?
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no i realy liked the JLA issue, sure it had alot of thought bubbles, which are akmost extinct in this day and age, but liked it, and am looking forward to the next issues
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Mar 18, 2004 10:29:56 PM CST
Lucy and Ethyl were funny when they did it in '50s, Comedian...
by dave_f
...and by "did it," I of course mean, "had lesbian sex," but for the sake of keeping things clean, let's say I meant "team up for wacky schemes that backfired comedically." Seeing Booster and Beetle do the same, with Martian Manhunter in the role of Fred Mertz? Not so much. For the record, I'm back to talking lesbian sex here. ********* Challenges the Comedian: "If you can't agree on that then what exactly is funny to you then?" You're going to have to pay better attention in class, Com. I did two reviews this week, and one of 'em was for a full-blown funnybook! No, I'm not talking about JLA's villain "Crucifer" (though that was laugh out loud funny), but that *other* book, the one with the salmon-pink cover. STREET ANGEL, dammit!
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Alright, fellow @-Hole, The Comedian, asked what comics made me laugh and I said,
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...I read the preview pages of that book. Ehh. The megaphone schtick was kinda good - in character, y'know - but the ninjas are funny stuff? Well, yeah they are. But I see that and go, but thanks to Ben Edlund I knew that fifteen years ago. But, y'know, humor's like that. It clicks or it doesn't, and that's personal taste. *** But She-Hulk? Well, even if you want to harp on the CHUMBAWUMBA thing again (fun fact, @$$-Readers, guess where that joke came from in the review!), you have to admit that it's different. At least it's a Marvel comic that is different than the usual different they put out, that it *aspires* to be different from any other superhero comic on the stand, and, y'know, it's a stand alone Issue #1. I mean after three years of First Issue Collectors Item hitting the stands carrying the subtitle "Mopey Drawn Out Shit Where The Main Character Barely Appears" Part #1 of #8, you've gotta at least look at a book like SHE-HULK and partake a little bit in the "about fuckin' time"s. Even if you have to endure a Da Bomb joke.
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..After the fucking atrocious art in the previous three parter, Byrne and Ordway are manna from the Gods. Not sure about rebooting the Doom Patrol fo rno reason though. Remember when there was an event, like Crisis, when forty years of stories were just jettisoned? I agree with Cormorant: at the time JLI was a breath of fresh air, now it ain't all that, and Formerly Known As was shit. Shit that only I and a small group of others didn't froth over, but shit nonetheless. Trying too hard, not funny, unresloved and weedy plot - the art was nice but the rest of it was shit. On the DCMB, some dickhead wrote that the first issue was FKATJL was - and I quote - "1000 times better than the regular book".WTF? Fuck all happened in it! What a tool.
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. . . whatever happened to that book? It was one of my favorites back in the 1980's, but I lost track of it during the past 15 years. Is Aragones still alive and drawing somewhere? Whither Rufferto?
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Anyone remember Stig's Inferno, the first published work of Ty Templeton? I laughed my ass off at that series in the 80s. You can sample the early issues at Ty's website: www.templetons.com/ty Ty is the shit, kids!
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Mar 19, 2004 3:21:03 PM CST
What? I actually agree that SHE-HULK #1 and JSA #59 were awesom
by spyguy
Well, color me stunned. But yeah, SHE-HULK was great, even if the artist draws Shulkie's arms a bit too chubby for my liking. JSA was also pretty spiffy and I really get the feeling that Geoff Johns plans on killing off Jay Garrick at some point. Hopefully, he gives him a death worthy of such a legendary character and the chance to, as Degaton said, "die like a man." As for JLA #94, yes, it was pretty pedestrian, but a definite step up in quality from Denny O'Neil and Tang Eng Huat's waste of paper and money called JLA #91-93. Byrne on DOOM PATROL would have been awesome if he had worked on them following his SUPERMAN run, but Byrne is so stuck in dated cliches and designs that the best we can hope for is something along the lines of X-MEN: THE HIDDEN YEARS. And don't get me started about how rebooting the DP's continuity screws up Gar "Beast Boy/Changeling" Logan as a character and negates one of the best storylines from THE NEW TEEN TITANS...
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I hated the change in artists so early on but the series is niiiiiiiiice; goo dialogue, an interesting story. She-Hulk kicks ass, Iron Fist SUCKS ass and Michael Turner draws sweet pieces of ass! What up with Aquaman, though? That book is just ugly!
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I thought I was the only one who laughed out loud. Damn, JB, that was weak.
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Early issues of Bone had many very funny moments. My personal fave: "Oh my God! They've already milked you haven't they?!!" Jeff Smith really has a great sense of comic timing in the comic book format.
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