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This story goes out to Eli Roth... get the tissues!
Hey folks, Harry here... ya know... Somewhere in this wide world Eli Roth is crying... This was his dream project... only, if he could add a monkey. And frankly, after watching the trailer... the shot with one of the Olsen Twins naked in a dumpster... wouldn't that scene be better with a Monkey? And when that dude looks at them and says, "Twins" with all the awe that Keanu put into "ON" in JOHNNY MNEMONIC... well, this has classic written no where on it. NOW - if only the Olsen Twins starred in the BAYWATCH 3D movie, and it starts with them getting the gig and feeling undersized... it then becomes a film based upon the wacky padding of bikinis to "fit in"! Don't you think they would double their financial fortune if they made an NC-17 Paul Verhoeven film called SISTERLY LOVE? But only if they both fell in love with a character played by Eric Roberts - who then sells them to Mickey Rourke. Of course - maybe Eli should do that one. Hmmm...
Click over to TheMovieBox.Net To Enjoy NEW YORK MINUTE! That's how long Eli'll last watching this thing!
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Mar 12, 2004 7:49:43 AM CST
After the steaming pile that was "Cabin Fever", Roth should be b
by atticus finch
That movie was horrible.
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in Oakville, Ontario.....Canada. I was excited to get a notice in the mailbox saying they were filming in the neighborhood. It said they were filming "New York Minute, starring some of hollywood's hottest young stars." You can imagine my delight when it turned out to be the freakin Olsen twins.
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Anybody have any friggin clue? Fever was terrible beyond belief.
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But, my God I bet every moment with the Olsen Twins on screen will be excruciating...
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www.zeedarteretz.com
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Mar 12, 2004 9:10:32 AM CST
Not every film has to be an arthouse indie masterpiece, you tool
by k0ny
Quit shitting on this movie because it doesn't fall within your interest. People who make a living out of deciding what does and does not get made might know a little better than you about it. I'm sure we're all very impressed with how high-brow your standards are and with your biting cynicism. Now why don't you shut the fuck up and either see the film or watch the box office because I bet the film pulls in money, as well as being entertaining for those of us who like variety in our film consumption. To me, this looks like it's being aimed more at the boys and men who lust after the Olson twins than the girls who made them billionairs.
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Because that trailer has a whole lot of Olsen Twins in towels, implied nudity, three up skirt shots, and so many legs... crap... I mean, I aggree totally that they should market themselves as sex objects, but I thought that up till now they were trying to be good yound teen role-models. What's this rated, someone?
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cabin fever had to be one of the worst movies ever. this guy must have sucked several miles of dick in LA to get his shit made. what a talentless director, bankrupt of creativity.
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Mar 12, 2004 9:40:44 AM CST
Isn't Eli Roth the Jewish gangster from the "Godfather" movies?
by rev_skarekroe
I'm kidding, of course, but "Cabin Fever" was really awful. Points to ponder - it's amazing how that one twin's towel stays on the whole time, even when running down the street or falling in an elevator. And why are they so afraid of the truant officer (deftly played by Eugene "Anything For A Paycheck" Levy)? All their parents have to do is threaten to sue the school and they graduate with honors. And do you think they regret putting Jack Osbourne in this now that his 15 minute egg-timer has run out? And finally, what do you think the ratio of 15 year old girls to disturbing older men will be at screenings of this film? I wanna know! sk
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So it's okay for black people to call white people "crackers" and even more ok for it to be used in a comedy meant for young kids?
A whole new generation of racial tension begins.
Good to see the twins are sexing themselves up more and more the closer they get to turning 18.
So much for taking the "high road" and not bending to appeal to the masses. Oh well bring on the Playboy shoot, you know it will make all the horny crackers who like young girls buy 2 issues of the magazine at least.
In any case, this does look like it could be a fun movie to watch at home, alone, in the dark. Not because I'm spanking it, but bceause Eugene Levy and Andy Richter are funny guys... but the Olsen twins? Do you really want to admit you are 25 y/o and watching an Olsen twins movie?
~LG -
fuck the olsen twins. that's all
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I was going to get mad at the guy who was bitter because they shot this in Canada, but then I noticed his name is GayMovieGuy, so I forgive him. Gene Levy at least adds some maybe-I'll-watch-this-on-TMN cache'. Or should I say maybe-i'll-whack-off-to-this-on-TMN?
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the olsen twins will allways be those ugly baby troll dolls on that retarded show... sexy? for a troll doll i guess so
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Come over to the UK and enjoy some of our under 18 sex you young minxes!
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Why post this trailer here? Not sure I understand - see, to ME and others like me (by which I mean all of you) - this movie is absolutely stupid. An abysmal looking movie with small pockets of Eugene Levy mercy. Yet this movie is not FOR me. It is not FOR you! This movie is for young female tweens in middle america. Do they not deserve a movie Harry? Must every movie be about a surly anti-hero fighting crime in his underwear? No. I do not hate Raffi or Sharon Lois and Bram. So I will not hate this. I won't go see it. (That would be silly - my eyes would bleed and explode while my eardrums packed up the winnebago and drove to vegas without me) But I will not succumb to the hate!
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Mar 12, 2004 11:21:04 AM CST
When I saw get the tissue ready I thought it meant I was gonna c
by rcamacho2278
This movies looks GREAT!!!!!
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Post
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By god. You fan boys. So much hate towards a success story. Roth is a good guy who has admirable goals for the genre. So you didn't like his flic...well run out an get your copy of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake and leave Eli alone. Macbre fan children.
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I thought it was fucking attrocious and it seems the rest of the planet does too, my faith in humanity is restored.
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That's all I've got.
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If you look closely enough, you can see a nipple through the wet t-shirt (after one of the twins gets spilled with water by the other twin).
knightfall
BTW: They're almost 18, see:
http://www.chasebrown.com/olson.htm -
300+ domestic gross.
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by the fact that the stupid dog-flying-at-face joke keeps showing up in our cinemahouses? And while we're at it, let's have more people running into lamp posts and walls while looking in another direction. As a matter of fact, let's also have a couple more fat black women slapping people. Cause you know how those fat black women are...heh heh...always slappin' folk.
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Its about time someone got back to making 70s and 80s style classic horror films again!
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Look dude, I applaud anybody who can get any sort of success in this industry, as we all know it's not an easy feat to accomplish, but here's the bottom line: cabin fever was an uninspired mess of a movie. would this be ok if it was entertaining? yes. was it entertaining? no, not for this poster. his unflinching devotion to sam raimi, and tobe hooper among others was mildly embarassing. he can name all his extras "shemp" as much he wants, but he's going to have to venture a little farther beyond USC film student mania to make something worthwhile in my book, and i truly hope he does, i don't wish failure on anybody.
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....but......ngh...but!
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It really DOES feel like there should be a monkey.
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How dare in 2004 we have racial slurs in films, nevermind trailers? Fuck you Warner Bros! Cracker to me is just as offensive as Nigger is to blacks. 'nuff said!
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Ok. I enjoyed it. God, knows there have been horror films that have been less inspired than Cabin Fever. Horror is not exactly a break through genre. It tends to be a start to up in coming careers. The fact that Eli wants to stick with it is admirable. If you are bored...check out my interview with him (yes I know this makes me biased). http://www.weeklydig.com/dig/content/4506.aspx
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Please make the burning stop!
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I'm surprised Harry didnt mention the magical swirling ass featured in the trailer. I bet someone will edit it out and loop it into a 90 minute butt-swirl epic set to the Hershey's Swoops version of Whoop! There it Is!
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this could (and probably will) be the biggest piece of shit in years, and yet im sure it will find a place in my dvd collection. those girls inspire all kinds of dirty, beautiful fantasies
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these two had smart agents and created this whole coming-of-age demographic on cable TV and straight-to-video schlock - but just how many identical twins are there in dramatic roles? either those girls had better split paths (one = actress, another = singer?) or they're gonna have a tough time sticking around.
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I am now more dummer for wathing this trailer, but I feel funny in the pants
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was fun.
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I mean... huh?
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What the fuck does Eli Roth have to do with this movie?? Fuck Jack Osbourne, I WOULD fuck the Olsens (when 18 don't arrest me!)and dear lord FUCK SIMPLE PLAN! Real Punk Rock guys!!! Oh yeah, did I mention that the Olsens are hottttt?!
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Mar 12, 2004 10:54:09 PM CST
Remember when this site had actual news to report? No? Me either
by jackburton
It's been a damn long time between drinks hasn't it?
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Well it's seems that for once I agree with a mojority of the posters here. I hated Cabin Fever and think that Eli Roth's praise is completly unfounded (not to say that I don't want it to be founded, he just hasn't done anything that deserves praise). This site has become a joke. No news. Nothing but links to traliers for tweens, with the Olsen Twins and a Simple Plan. I'd rather have my eyes poked out than sit through that film. Harry is a sell out. He tells us what the big companys pay him to tell us. And is to much of a pussy to step on any ones toes and report shit that he should. Fuck you Harry, for this trailer, and for the way your treating the loyal fans who've come to this site for ever and have made you rich and famous.
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Mar 13, 2004 1:01:19 AM CST
Does Eugene Levy just do anything that his agent puts on his des
by renata
The man's got talent. He should respect it a little more.
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This "film" looks like it was shot on a camcorder and should go straight to video. Poor Eugene Levy. What a waste. And was that Andy Richter in the subway? It's a shame the kind of product that comes out of Hollywood. The Olsen Twins are still alive? Where am I? The Twilight Zone? Rod? Rod where are you?
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Mar 13, 2004 1:48:36 AM CST
I know you're entitled to your opinion, but those of you that th
by cranialleak
blechhh. I'd take a horse wearing makeup anyday. And yes, I have done that before. I ain't too proud of it, but at least I'm man enough to admit it. How many horses have YOU fucked? Didn't think so. So shut up. Wait a minute, I was trying to defend myself there, so ignore everything I just posted. Olsen Twins are not hot. They are under-developed, wear too much makeup, and I just can't shake their annoying baby-talk from Full House from my head. I hated them when they were babies, and I hate them even more now. Damn bazillionaires. I hate rich people! I'm not resentful.
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And so's my bald spot, seeing as how I'm the consumate Toronto-filmed-movie-extra, excuse me I mean "Background Performer". ( Why thank you, yes that WAS my elbow in X-Men )And now that I've seen them up close and walking.. dang they're tiny doll-like big-eyed creatures. Not sexy at all. I bet those of you who have the hots for them ravish your Japanese Anime mail-order Love Pillows on a daily basis.
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Mar 13, 2004 2:48:26 AM CST
What's great is that NY Minute is virtually guaranteed to be bet
by jules windex
I don't really think the twins are that cute. Now Hilary Duff, THERE is a girl I'd like to see turn 18.
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To get your attention.... the love hate thing that Eli Roth has become is increibly interesting.... as someone posted recently, we are in geekboy heaven... in a fay and age where almost anythign can get shot. They just greenlit every fantasy film from here to kingdom come. Cabin Fever was a first film like Kelly's Donnie Darko. Darko fell into cult status immediately, and hit the cultural pulse of the audience at that time.... as did Cabin fever... but with a lot more fallout. Cabin fever was a fun deconstuction of a stereotypical teenage film, and turn into a film aggressively battling its desire to remain simple. If you watch the documentary in the extra footage, I think you will see that. It never attempted to usurp the position of cult horror masterpiece. It was simply a first film a nice, fun guy was lucky enough to get made. You ungrateful bastards should be crucified. Or forced to withstand the evil Volkror's method of kick-fucking. -
Cabin Fever was a boring, unimginative, trying to be funny but isn't, trying to be cool cult horror but isn't, teen movie. God, I barley even see any differance between Cabin Fever and I Know What You Did Last summer. It was no smarter, no cooler, no more imaginative, no more interesting. Cabin Fever sucked beyond belief! And any one who prtend's "it's horror back the way it's supposed to be. A nod to classic 70's horror" is just clowning them self. Donnie Darko, was an imaginative, brillent, funny, interesting, cult masterpiece. Don't dare even compare the two. Kelly deserves our praise, Eli Roth derserves a kick in the nuts!
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Mar 13, 2004 8:51:18 AM CST
MESSAGE TO ELI: Do a DOCU-HORROR-DRAMA on the NINE PEOPLE THAT W
by mentallymariah
Eww I was eating Thai food at five in the morning when I read that, I am sure it the house smelled llike Pad Woonsen Pad Khink Talay! ( number 5 on the hot spice scale ) Eli, What I want to see on the big screen is the intensity of when you first walk into the house...the Smell and the SOUND Of it all!
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At least they got that part right. O&A return June 1!
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cabin fever was one of the worst horror films ever. I know what you did last summer is fucking brilliant compared to Roth's hackish crap. there is nothing admirable in setting out to waste millions of dollars making a shitty movie, "just like those shitty 70's horror movies!" there was no depth to that piece of shit, no decontruction or genre-commenting, it just sucked.
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Eli Roth should be crucified for that abomination. The fact that this monstrosity has supporters anywhere is enough to drive anyone who ponders on it after having seen it mad. Cabin Fever was not a train wreck, it was a meltdown on the scale of Chernobyl; I emerged from it bewildered and broken, and I felt like calling NEST or HAZMAT when I was finished wretching from its horrid after-effects. I have seen bad movies, terrible movies, films previously thought to be the worst possible (Future War, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Werewolf, Dungeons & Dragons, Highlander:Endgame), but Cabin Fever made me view them in a more favorable light. If there is one positive thing to be said about the movie, its that it makes me appreciate good films like never before. Upon viewing Hell, nothing on Earth can phase me.
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I don't which of the three of them is hotter!
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He should die of herpes and rot in hell for cabin fever....worst movie ever, and iv been to europe
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Cabin Fever was crap, the Olsen twins are ugly and always will be. It's another "weird twin" story ... wow ... NOT FUCKING IMPRESSED! Pity the fool who spends money to see that "movie".
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Mar 15, 2004 7:57:14 AM CST
As usual, this site overhypes by talking about "naked" where the
by minderbinder
She's running around in a towel. How PG-13.
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Fuck Eli. Fuck Cabin Fever. Fuck those ugly bitches. Fuck Harry. And it's fucking "skeet" not "skit" you stupid mother fucker.
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