Ain't It Cool News (www.aintitcool.com)
Movie News

So typical of Hollywood. Beautiful woman like Selma Blair is forced to get a boob job. What A DIRTY SHAME!!!

Hey folks, Harry here... I had a chance to meet and hang out for a long time with Selma Blair on the set of HELLBOY and she was a complete doll. A waif beauty - PERFECT to play Lois Lane. PERFECT. But along comes some sleazy Baltimore filmmaker by the name of John Waters and he forces her to get a slight boob job cuz she didn't meet his grotesque Hollywoodized vision of beauty. Oh no, he forced her to get slightly larger tits so all you breast flesh worshippers would have something to dream about... maybe it was to secure a positive Ebert review? I'm not sure, but... hehehehe... Oh shit, I can't keep that up. I'm not sure who did these boobs for A DIRTY SHAME, the next John Waters movie, but they're amazing. And if they've done as good a job with Tracy Ullman's vaginal hold on a 1 liter bottle of water while she does the hokey pokey in an old folks home... and then apparently he's got trees with penises in them... Why... this sounds like cult movie heaven! We had a review of John Waters' A DIRTY SHAME a week ago. (CLICK) and it sounded absolutely hilarious! Perfect THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST double-feature material! The following pic came out of the current issue of Vanity Fair - where... btw, you can read more about that RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK re-make that those kids did that I reviewed a while back! Well, here's Selma!!!











Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • Feb. 12, 2004, 5:11 a.m. CST

    For the love of....

    by thinboyslim

    any chance of John Walter coming round mine and doing this to my girlfriend??!?!

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 5:16 a.m. CST

    to see art....is to feed the soul.....

    by ChickenGeorgeVII

    I can see, judging by the photograph, Mr. Waterss need to exaggerate the breast of the female form, perhaps to being out the nature of the maternal desires that one has, and the love one has for the mother in the physical sense when it becomes related to the busom being the sfae haven for the small child BUT I SURE AS SHIT WON'T BE WASTING ANY OF MY TIME WITH THAT SHIT - CUZ I LOOK AS THESE STUPENDOUS MAUMFLAUMBAS OF SELMA AND I THINK YUNKA YUNKA YUNKA YOW YOW OUCH!!!! SO NOW, I MUST RUN TO THE BATHROOM AND GRAB THE SLICK STUFF....I AM GOING IN FOR THE BEST 38 SECONDS OF MY LIFE!!!!!!...And thus, uunnnnhhhh! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!

  • ...as opposed to McG, Halle, and Keanu who think they are actually making decent films the crowds will love or have 0% respect for the source material.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 5:21 a.m. CST

    Is this a joke?

    by RiOtNeRd

    Is this for real or some kind of photoshop hocus pocus?

  • No seriously, you may have some mommy issues to work out. Don't worry though,Oedipus was a real motherfucker too.

  • I guess what you are trying to say in a very convoluted manner is that she is wearing some kind of padding or falsies in the film. I gather that she really didn't get breast implants. She is very flat chested as anyone who saw "Storytelling" can attest to. She was un-fucking-believably sexy in that film though...classic scene. She was totally naked in it, so check it out.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 5:28 a.m. CST

    Piss-poor Photoshop work. Let's hope the movie doesn't make the

    by CranialLeak

    So let me get this straight. So far onscreen, Selma has kissed a girl, done doggy-style against a wall screaming "Fuck me!", and now has an over-the-top boob job. Sounds like a porn actress wannabe to me. I say she should just stop trying to be a serious actress and go straight to the porn biz. Next thing you know, she'll be doing scat and bukake movies. Sheesh.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 5:38 a.m. CST

    47TH!!!!!!

    by Dolmes

    'To be first sets the bar. To live is to finish and be remebered as a legend forever.' *some bloke 2004*

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 6:30 a.m. CST

    Saw a pair that big once...God they were scary

    by mwhelan67

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 6:45 a.m. CST

    wtf?

    by phanboi

    where did that come from?

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 7:01 a.m. CST

    Hollywood is sick

    by rubycon

    A world were Hollywood executives decides that an actress should have larger boobs for a film, because they think WE want that, is a seriously fucked up world. It's our world.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Hey Black Jesus

    by FrankCobretti

    Color me amused.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 7:49 a.m. CST

    A little boob philosophy

    by CellarDoor

    From a man who has had to justify his complete lack of interest in the size of a woman's tits on more than one occasion. Tits are for kids, babies to be more accurate. Men who are 'into' boobs are children and they need to sort their issues out. MEN like the ass, the belly, the thighs and, way more importantly, the face. You know that God didn't spend the seventh day 'resting', he was letching at all the fine naked women strolling about with they asses hanging out. He was so forward-thinking he put the butt at the back so we can take pleasure when they leave and he put the face on the front so we can take pleasure when the arrive. Oh, and if this is an indicator of where John's taking this movie its gonna be some crazy fun!

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 8:22 a.m. CST

    AWESOME!

    by numberface

    Finally she'll get some decent roles!

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 8:37 a.m. CST

    RE: BOOBS IN GENERAL... Better small and real than big and fake

    by Pardon_My_Zinger

    So says I.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Can't anyone on this fucking site figure it out or does Harry ha

    by minderbinder

    You seriously think an actress like Blair would do anything so ridiculous?

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 8:51 a.m. CST

    favourite below-the-neck bodyparts

    by Indiana Clones

    Vaginas are best. Then legs.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Is anyone as turned on as I am right now?

    by Harrys Man Boobs

    Finally, Selma Blair looks like a REAL woman. It's BONER TIME!!!

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Whew!!! Shit, Harry don't scare me like that! I love Semla and h

    by Big Bad Clone

    Not that I don't mind curves. Shit, I like any woman that keeps it natural. "Flaws" are part of people and it makes them so much better. Like Jewel is hot. She's got some meat, is talented , and she has those little crooked teeth. Holy shit, that is sexy as hell.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Dammit that pisses me off

    by I Dunno

    I know you virgins wouldn't know this but fake boobs suck. They look bad and they feel bad. She was fine the way she was.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 11:04 a.m. CST

    John Waters...

    by Damer1

    doesn't like boobies. He's into wieners. Please feel free to call me a homophobe. I'll wear it as a badge of honor.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 11:22 a.m. CST

    It aint even April 1st yet!

    by Quiddity

    I can airbrush a pair of boobs on her forehead and make them look more realistic. Save it for April Fool's day.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Maybe Harry can get his tits transplanted onto Selma Blair's che

    by guerillatokyo

    Now that would be some news worhtth reading on this site.

  • Get real. Blair would NEVER have had such melon-size implants, not for that fuck Waters, for a movie that will not be big on her filmography. Uh-uh.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 12:07 p.m. CST

    It's a joke, guys

    by GreedoNeverShot

    Hey idiots, if you took the time to read Harry's comments thoroughly you'd realize HE WAS JUST KIDDING. HE KNOWS SHE DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A BOOB JOB. They are just prosthetics for the new John Waters film, ya sorry wad of humorless fucks!

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 12:32 p.m. CST

    What are you talking about?

    by snow scorpion

    ?

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 12:43 p.m. CST

    they are fake...

    by sakimoto

    If fat-ass harry did more homework he would have provided info from an article from back in December explaining the "boobs": After setting up each shot, he retired to a dark corner of the saloon and sat glued to the video monitoring the action as Selma Blair, best known for playing a Harvard Law School snob in "Legally Blonde," kept her balance despite huge prosthetic breasts. - courtesy of sfgate.com

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 12:47 p.m. CST

    I cant belive you geeks dont get the joke

    by DangerDiabolik

    Pretty sad. Thie movie looks like filthy fun !

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 12:54 p.m. CST

    My take...

    by Deagle2

    Dumbest...article...ever

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 1:14 p.m. CST

    17000 stories . . .

    by Hellpop

    I couldn't imagine a better way to commemorate 17000 reports on AICN than this story . . .Good show old boy!

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 1:59 p.m. CST

    At least she's not a freak like Chelsea Charms with her abnormal

    by StoneMonkey

    Selma is fine, but a slight adjustment to Heidi Klum size wouldn't hurt her career. She'd also make a better Lois Lane than that empty headed Beyonce who once was asked "What would your goal in life be?" to which she replied "To pet a dolphin" Huh? WTF? Is she for real? Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 2:03 p.m. CST

    Well...

    by Gluecifer

    "Can't anyone on this fucking site figure it out or does Harry have to spell out every last thing for you?" Well, it seems it's the case for some people around here (who should worry about their IQ)! ;) I found the post pretty funny! John Waters is kinda cool, and not only for his "trash" movies: Pecker is a pretty funny AND clever one, IMHO...

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 2:26 p.m. CST

    gimme a break

    by Reverendz

    No, men who like tits are not babies, they're men. Why do you think women HAVE tits other then when breast feeding (like most mammals who just have tits for a short time)? The reason: to attract men. Tits attact men. If you're not into tits, that's fine, I don't understand foot fetishes, but I'm not going to bag on you just cause you have one.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Cellar Door

    by crimsonrage

    Please. Are you resentful because your mother fed you with the bottle instead of the teet? Large, NATURAL breasts are some of the most beautiful examples of femininity (along with large hips and buttocks). Not only do all of those things accentuate and exemplify fertility, they also aesthetically seperate women from men, which automatically makes them exciting, interesting, and mysterious (ooohhh!!!). Plus they jiggle. Sorry, mosquito bites on women are mostly pathetic...like something's trying its damndest to peek out, but can't quite make it. Of course, I prefer mosquito bites to implants any day of the week. As a life drawing artist, I cannot stomach the mutilation of women through implants (which are easily the worst thing to happen to Playboy). Here's some fine examples of the female form: Anita Eckberg, Janet Lupo, Miriam Gonzalez, Melinda Windsor, Candy Loving, Uschi Digard, Petra Verkiak, Karen Price, Michelle Marsh, Gig Gangel, and Marilyn Lange. Unfortunately, naturally large-breasted women have been ignored in the mainstream lately. Look at the nudity in your average R-Rated film. It's always by women with either huge, disgusting implants or no boobs at all. It's appalling. It seems like Salma Hayek is the last refuge of those that appreciate the female form at its peak(s).

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Response to Stoopid

    by Snowed In

    Stoopid said: "Never NEVER have kids, pleasesssssssss." I say: With this bunch, I wouldn't worry much. (Disclosure: I have a 4

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 4:16 p.m. CST

    ....

    by Knox

    The ignorance on this board never ceases to amaze me. I for one am looking forward to this new trash masterpiece from John Waters. Disappointed that this talk back turned into a discussion about tits than the movie itself. Sounds like he's going back to his earlier style, which I'm looking forward to. Everything after Hairspray has been rather tame and I can't wait to get grossed out in the theater by this one. Excellent casting as always, good job Pat Moran!

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 4:30 p.m. CST

    In response to the Plague....

    by ChickenGeorgeVII

    Mr. "Ebonic Plague"...you want to know that we think that sliced bread is overrated??...no no no no no my son.....SLICED BREAD IS THE GREATEST FUCKING THING TO HAPPEN TO THE WORLD SINCE McG!!!! AND SLICED BREAD IS THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED SINCE SELMA'S BIG BUSOM!!!! AND WHO ELSE THINKS THAT SLICED BREAD IS RIGHT UP THERE IS ANGELINA JOLIE'S BOTTOM AND PETER JACKSON'S LOTR TRILOGY???? I KNOW I CERTAINLY DO!!! HELL...I SEE SLICED BREAD AND I GET A BIG FUCKING BONER JUST LIKE THE DAYS WHEN JENNIFER CONNELLY HAD A RACK THE SIZE OF A FLOOD DYKE!!!! I THINK TO MYSELF "I COULD TAKE THAT SLICE OF PUMPERNICKEL AND REALLY GO TO TOWN RUBBING IT ALL OVER MYSELF!!!!" AND THEN I GET ALL HOT AND SWEATY AND BEGIN TO FEEL FAINT....I HAVE THE HARDEST TIME GETTING THROUGH THE BAKERY...AND I MEAN HARD!!!!! DON'T BELIEVE ME? - LOOK AT THE OLD DAQYS OF RUSSIA WHERE ALL THOSE PERVERTS STOOD IN LONG LONG LINES FOR A LOAF OF SLICED BREAD!!!!! NOW THEY REALLY HAD A HARD ON FOR IT!!! AND THINK OF THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE SMEAR ALL OVER IT: HONEY, MAYO, ALL KINDS OF JELLY, BUTTER, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...PEANUT BUTTER!!!! WHOO! I DON'T THINK I CAN KEEP TYPING THIS....I GOT TO GO GET MY HANDS ON A LOAF OF SOURDOUGH RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!...And thus, I also find bagels kinda hot too! - - - George, The 7th Chicken!!!!

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 4:56 p.m. CST

    I cannot help it...

    by Mr_Morden75

    ...every time I read all these talkbacks, I cannot help but wonder, who the hell is CHICKEN GEORGE VII??? What'e up with that guy???

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Two things:

    by PumpyMcAss

    First: To those of you who actually thought that those were Selma Blair's actual boobs, you're retarded. Second: To those of you who were trying to discuss what you like in a woman, be honest with yourselves. You all like any woman who doesn't see you as you watch her undress from a tree outside her window.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 5:39 p.m. CST

    From now on...

    by Christopher3

    Selma Blair should use that facial expression all the time.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 9:30 p.m. CST

    schwing

    by MisterBlonde

    I just wanted to mention the "Beverly" post by TurdFerguson24. That is, by far, my favorite skit OF ALL FUCKING TIME. I'm the only one who recognized it too, I bet. I am Dr. Poop.

  • Feb. 12, 2004, 9:33 p.m. CST

    Hey Turd Ferguson....

    by MisterBlonde

    My name is Dr. Jonathan Poop. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for your baby, but I can do the robot. That'll be five thousand dollars.

  • Feb. 13, 2004, 12:32 a.m. CST

    it's just me or her left boob is bigger than the right one?

    by drompter

    Perhaps she is left boobed?

  • Feb. 13, 2004, 12:44 a.m. CST

    I doubt it!

    by TheGinger Twit

  • Feb. 13, 2004, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Just Imagine the "Wardrobe Malfunction"

    by V. von Doom

    If it'd been poor Selma instead of Janet she would've tipped over from the weight shifting!

  • Feb. 13, 2004, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Forced? ha!

    by MillDaKill

    She is not forced to do anything, she chose to get huge cans probably cause the part pays lots of money and most ppl in hollywood are whores.

  • Feb. 14, 2004, 1:35 a.m. CST

    Even with massive bazongas, Selma Blair is still blah.

    by Gere's AssGerbil

    Although I do think it's cool that she shares the name of one of Marge Simpson's sisters. Has anyone else seen John Waters' Pecker? It's not too long and it really gets you in the end. Ooohh, wathn't that jutht fabuluth!